Return to Days Gone By
by myLink'sLady
Summary: After Naraku, what happens when the jewel is completed. Different to my usual Sess pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Return to Days Gone By

Chapter One: Midoriko and the Wish.

Naraku was gone finally. Having been brought down by all his adversaries working together, he had left with barely a whisper; obliterated from the surface of the earth, having underestimated the power in the Inu brothers who both had _'something to protect'. _The shards having been gathered and Tenseiga able to be used again for healing and giving life; wounds had been vanished and Kohaku returned. The jewel was purified; the wish was Inuyasha's.

He had thought long and hard about this wish and it had changed several times in his mind. No one else knew that of course; not even Kagome. Throughout the lifetime of his knowledge of the jewel and all it could do, he had not had very long to think on it in actual fact. He had been not much more than a child in reality, when he first came across Kikyou; he was fifteen human years to look at, but younger in youkai terms. She however was older and much more sophisticated than he; but because of being a shrine maiden, she was also far more innocent than other girls of her age.

Kikyou knew of the function of carnal love and the need to have children, but she had none of the experience that told her of it's joys and pains. She awoke to the feeling of attraction when she befriended the lonely hanyou and began to mistake common understanding for love. He too felt love but not in the same way. He saw a lovely girl and could appreciate her beauty, as it was like his mother's and like his mother she cared for people and children; they were drawn to her kindness and goodness as was he, a loveless, orphaned, hanyou child.

Their love was mutual but on two different plains; she was now aware of her desire, his body as yet still slept. But she gave him warmth with her smile and occasional caresses; all of which he treasured, as he was starved of tender physical touch and merciful looks. He would have done anything for her, promising to protect her and he tried right up to the time she died again; even at the cost of Kagome and his friends understanding and patience. It was only with the coming of the monk and his lecherous ways that Inuyasha finally realised what Kikyou had wanted with him and now what he would like with Kagome.

She'd wanted him human, hanyou and even youkai, not one of his personas had phased her or made her love him less. Kagome truly accepted him for who he was and all he could give and he'd finally been able to tell and convince her, that his love was for her and not her predecessor. They had spoken laterly of his love for Kikyou; but it was Myouga who explained all that had really happened. That had been one afternoon when his young Lord had not been around and of course she had then understood and wondered why she had not realised it all before.

So, for the past year of their travels together, they had been a promised couple more or less; both still to everyones surprise, completely pure in their relationship barring a few stolen kisses or the small intimate touches that they both allowed of each other. His desire to become full youkai had been given up long ago; right back when he knew he would probably become just a killing machine. Inuyasha had harboured secret hopes that maybe he could become as his brother, with his blood in control; but it was not a risk he was now willing to take and so another, this time unselfish wish, had formed in it's place.

And now here he was, with the Shikon in his hand ready to be purified completely with his new wish. It was staying pink from Kagome's own purity and his wish should whiten it into non-existence and free Midoriko. At least, that was what was understood. What _actually_ happened was that Midoriko's voice was heard in his head; he had no doubt that it was the Miko he heard and she spoke seriously to him.

_"This is too important a task to make mistakes Little Hanyou. Will you permit me to see your wish before you make it? I may be able to help you form the correct thought."_

_"Feh! If you want." _Inuyasha heard a delicate laugh at his typical courtesy. But there was a deep sadness in the touch of the Miko's mind and he needed to know what it was about.

_"It is a very generous wish Inuyasha and proves you have matured. But I am afraid I have to sadden you greatly my child; Kagome will not be able to stay in this era; she has things to do in her own future and it cannot include you. Your future is here and not there. If I could change this for you I would; but it is impossible and no matter if you changed your wish to stop this, it would not. I am truly sorry." _

_"Kagome will not stay with me, she must; she is my life, she promised, I love her, she wants to be my mate."_

_"I am so sorry but it cannot be altered and it has nothing to do with me or the jewel. The well will close, whether or not you use the jewel and she will automatically be taken back." _The warmth of her voice and the gentle touch of her mind did nothing at all to halt Inuyasha's overwhelming grief at this knowledge; but although in the privacy of his mind he wept bitterly at the news, nothing showed on his face. This possibility had crossed their minds but they had hoped against hope that it would not come to pass.

_"You will have a full day after you make your wish before this will happen Inuyasha."_

_"I understand. I just wish I didn't." _Then Inuyasha closed his eyes and made his wish. Those onlooking could see his lips moving, but not hear him; although with concentration, Sesshoumaru could make out some of the words by watching the movements. He had been concerned and curious at the wave of misery that had washed over his brother; it had been most acute and he meant to get to the bottom of it.

_"I wish for all those I love and care about to regain their health and to live happily for the rest of their days with whatever things they most need."_

_"Well done my child, that is a far reaching request, even covering those you have shown concern for in your travels."_

_"Keh!, at the moment I don't care."_

_"You will, when you see the good you have done." _With that there was a flash and the Miko of the jewel appeared to everyone announcing that the wish had been made and that she would be able to answer any questions for the next twenty four hours, before she and the jewel vanished forever. The gem was now inert and would not draw any youkai to it. For the first time since he had turned his back on the crowd and walked a little apart from them all to make his wish; Inuyasha came to join them all and to see what his wish had done.

Kagome literally launched herself at her hanyou and his arms automatically went round her as she leaned in for a kiss. He whined in his throat and held her as tightly as he could; as he whispered, that he loved her, into her ear. Sessshoumaru, who heard the private whisper; looked over in surprise as another of those strange waves of misery rolled of his brother. Then he looked at Inuyasha closely, a suspicion of the truth coming to his knowledgable mind and suddenly he knew what was to happen. For once he felt nothing but anger for the unfair deal that fate kept handing out to his little brother.

Midoriko than repeated Inuyasha's wish aloud for all to hear and as she did so, the power of the Shikon Jewel washed over all present and beyond. More than wounds of battle were healed; Inuyasha had wanted people to regain their health and the jewel took this to heal longstanding illnesses and disabilities too. Sesshoumaru found the stump of his arm seemed full of youki energy and he knew he could feel his arm regrowing. It took all of his training not to wince with pain at the sharp agony of the regrowth, but his face remained stoic albeit with a quick look to see how his brother was faring; knowing that he must have planned this too.

Inuyasha felt his brother glance at him and he lifted his eyes to lock with the amber of his brother, giving a small smile at the tiny bow with which Sesshoumaru favoured him. Inuyasha hoped that his brother would be pleased with the other part of the request which would be granted concerning him as well; his brother had helped to end the existence of Naraku and had called a form of truce with Inuyasha. Inuyasha never wanted to harm his only family; he loved Sesshoumaru and always had, all he had ever wanted was for his brother to recognise and love him back; to be his sibling properly.

Kohaku was healed in mind and would be able to believe, when he was told that he had been forgiven and that it was Naraku only, who was the culprit behind the vile deeds. Miroku too was able to see beyond the short term; even with the Kazaana gone, it could have become a mental problem causing depression, if not healed. Sango as well, although she did not show her healing; no longer had the huge scar that Kohaku had caused on her back. Her back was now free of the pull from the scar tissue that she had lived and worked with for the last few years. No longer would it tire her or make her muscles ache, or make her feel so shy and scared when she thought of her future husband finding her body lacking in beauty.

There was a collective gasp when Kaede came to them; she walked taller, all traces of arthritic hips and limbs gone; her grey hair shone and she smiled at them all, a twinkle in _both_ her eyes. The group of her 'children' all came round to fuss her; even Inuyasha stood at the back, a pleased smile on his face when nobody was watching him. The fact that these were not isolated events either, was not lost on the group who stood on the outskirts of the village. There were sounds of rejoicing coming from all about them.

Then lastly for the time being, Midoriko called Kagome over to her privately; away from the crowd and called from the girl's body a glowing ball of light, explaining that this essence had found refuge inside Kikyou and then when the Miko passed, it had found Kagome. Now it had joined the youki force from the jewel to become a true being again and was placed in a body of flesh and blood whose life had not long departed. Midoriko explained that she had searched for a woman who resembled the youkai's original body greatly, but that the youki would give back the subtle nuances of expression and dominate over the deceased; giving the youkai her true life again.

Kagome was a bit horrified but supposed that it made no difference to the poor dead person if her body was used as the basis for rebirth. The youkai opened her ruby eyes in surprise and looked around. She was quick on the uptake and realised that somehow she was once again alive, whilst Naraku was dead. Kagome ran to her and her eyes sparkling, was obviously happy to see her, but before she could say anything, a low and calm voice was slightly shaken as he named her;

"Kagura."

TBC.


	2. Celebrations and the Well

Ch 2 Celebrations and the Well 

"Kagura, are you going to be making a habit of appearing before me naked?" Sesshoumaru was rewarded for his less than gentlemanly question, by a flash of annoyance from those fascinating ruby eyes and a predictable squeak of impatience from Kagome. But youkai did not share the same sense of modesty that humans had and there was _nothing_ about the body Kagura had now that was at all shameful. She was in fact quite beautiful and she had a cheeky sense of humour to go with it. Standing up and facing the Western Lord in all her glory, she turned the tables on him:

"Why, My Lord Sesshoumaru; the body pleases me greatly, it is very much like my own used to be is it not? Does it pass your _careful_ inspection?"

"It serves its purpose." Was his cold retort, but Kagura was satisfied with that; she had seen the faint, but noticeable blush on the pale cheeks of Sesshoumaru. With a smirk she watched as Sesshoumaru walked away.

"That man can't keep his nose out of anything can he? Who asked him to come over here anyway?" The rhetorical questions were said with a fondness however, that was not lost on Kagome; after all she had been there just after Kagura had died and had seen the look of regret on Sesshoumaru's face, however well disguised it had been. However Sesshoumaru had brought up a valid point;

"I will go to the village and find you something to wear Kagura. Something at least until you can find your own things anyway." Kagome was halted by Midoriko.

"I don't think it will be neccessary." She looked over to where Sesshoumaru was coming back to them, something draped over his arm. Once again he had no respect for Kagura's privacy and walked straight up to her, ignoring the other two females completely.

"My ward requested that she kept a memento of the 'pretty lady' to use her own words and she wished to keep the fine silk kimonos in your honour." At this point he offered the kimonos that had been all that were left of Kagura when she dissipated to the air. Without a further word he helped her to put on the gown and when she was dressed more appropriately for company, he also handed her the earrings, feathers and fans that were also amongst the items he'd brought.

"I saw no need to deny the child's request and it is fitting, a youkai should never be without their weapons." He ignored the quiet thanks that Kagura gave him as he ignored the bright tears that stood in her eyes as she surveyed her precious ornaments; as dear to her as any sword that men usually carried. Stopping suddenly from where he had started to move away; he half turned and looked at the wind youkai askance, before he held out his arm; offering to escort her to the rest of the waiting group. As she accepted with a questioning look of her own, Kagome was almost jumping up and down with excitement and couldn't wait until she could talk with Inuyasha.

Midoriko also wore a gentle smile and said;

"Inuyasha saw his brother collect together the belongings and store them away most carefully, he did not mention the _child_ requesting it however. Come let us go and rejoin with the others." Midoriko led the way and they found Kagura in the midst of her former enemies, astounded at fact that they were for the main happy in her rebirth. Except for Kouga and Ayame; it would take a bit longer for them to regard the wind youkai with anything but sadness, even if they now knew that she had been under orders and as much in the control of Naraku, as Kohaku.

While Kagura's resurrection was being discussed, Midoriko watched Inuyasha and Kagome together. They were standing with their arms about each other and she sighed, her heart in pain for them both. Kagome was not going to be told that the well would close the next time she travelled through it, at Inuyasha's request. He did not think that she should have to bear the heartbreak, that would otherwise mar the last times she would be with the little group. But Midoriko had also held back certain truths from Inuyasha to spare _his_ further pain.

When Kagome travelled back to her future this time, not only would the well seal behind her but time would readjust itself; because the jewel would have vanished from her past, it would not be possible for it to be reborn inside her nearly five hundred years later. Therefore when she went back, it would be to a normal lifestyle; with no recollection of anything that had happened in the past. Because, in the newly created timeline, she would never have the jewel and would have never fallen down the well and into the time slip and Kagome could not possibly remember something that had not happened to her.

The village had been preparing a celebratory feast and by the evening all was ready, there was feasting and dancing under the colourful lanterns. For the inu-youkai present however, the scents of the humans was a bit too strong for their tastes and anyway both brothers had a different agenda that they wished to carry out. Sesshoumaru was interested in talking with Kagura and had taken her for a stroll; purely, as he said, to learn about how she had existed with her heart in Naraku's keeping and leaving Rin in the safe keeping of Sango and Jaken.

Inuyasha had taken Kagome to a quiet glade near a small spring to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her. He wanted her to know just what she meant to him and they shared a lot of secrets that evening. All except for the greatest one of all, which Inuyasha bravely kept to himself. After a long time spent together talking, touching and some deep kissing; they got up and sauntered off to find their friends again. Kagome wanted to see for herself in more detail, the healing that the spell had done on Sango and Kaede.

They passed by Kouga and Ayame and got hugged and kissed by Ayame as Kouga had asked her to be his mate at last. Kagome risked Inuyasha's wrath as she went to hug Kouga and was more than surprised when he made no fuss and let them embrace. Kouga too, took a good long look at Inuyasha; but he had hidden his eyes behind his fringe, his face unreadable. He even let her get a group hug from Ginta and Hakkaku without growling; Kagome supposed that even he, could allow certain 'liberties' in honour of the occasion.

They went and sat down next to Miroku who also got a chaste kiss and brilliant smile from Kagome as she congratulated him on the loss of Kazaana; he had his arm around Sango and she was delighted. It seemed that all of them were finally able to think about settling down; perhaps even starting families, even Sesshoumaru and Kagura who she could just see like ghosts in the trees of Inuyasha's Forest. Nudging Inuyasha so that he too looked at the couple in the trees, she asked if he thought that his brother and the wind witch would become mates.

"Feh! Probably, that jerk had to be carrying her kit around with him for a reason."

"Yes, Rin asked him to; as a memory of the _'pretty lady'._

"No she didn't, she only picked up one of Kagura's earrings and wished to keep it. Sesshoumaru carted up all the rest himself to store. Why do you think I included her in the wish?" His tone was harsh; but she could see through him now and loved him all the more, for wanting his brother to have the chance of happiness. She was cuddling a dozing Shippou by now and Rin was sitting as good as gold between Sango and Kagome. As the night wore on, Kagome was mildly surprised to find herself in Inuyasha's lap along with Shippou, his strong arms and red sleeves protecting and shielding them from the cool night air and anyone who might want to take them away from him.

Later still, Sango decided to have a bath before turning in for the night and wanted Kagome to come with her; so that she could show off her scarless back. Because of all the extra activity in the village, Kaede had had a bath set up for them behind her hut with hot water; as opposed to the cold spring that they usually used nearby. Kagome was delighted for her friend and she and Kaede held two mirrors so that Sango could see for herself, the clear unblemished skin on her back.

Kaede's eyes though were haunted, as she looked on the two young girls who were closer than most sisters; she was almost certain that the well was going to close, she had seen the harrowed look on Inuyasha's face when he thought no one could see him and also the sad thoughtful look on Midoriko's. But for now she would enjoy their company and indulge in girl talk with them both. Soon they got out and dried and went to change inside the hut, where Kaede had prepared a cup of tea for them all. It seemed strange to see the older Miko without her eyepatch; but good to see that both eyes were also free of cataracts, due also to the healing part of the wish.

Kagome left the hut for a while to check on how Shippou was faring and seeing that he was still curled up in Inuyasha's arms, she decided not to disturb him to put him to bed. That gave her a few minutes to herself and she thought of a good idea. Calling Kirara to her she asked the twotail if she would take her to the well; it was a good time as any, to just let her mother know that Naraku was defeated and to bring back some Ramen for Inuyasha. As she reached the well she saw Sesshoumaru and Kagura sitting by Goshinboku and she smiled knowing that that place was one of hers and Inuyasha's favourite spots too.

"I hope that you two will be happy Lord Sesshoumaru, Kagura; in whatever way your lives take." She knew that Youkai did not mess each other about with courtship and that both of them were seriously talking.

"You too Miko" said Kagura.

"Indeed, are you planning on going somewhere Kagome. Where is my brother, should he not be with you?"

"No, I've just slipped away to tell my mother we are victorious and relieve my mind. I asked Kirara to bring me."

"You live near here then Miko, Naraku always thought it was strange the way you came to this clearing."

"I'll tell you when I get back; but first if I don't want to have to sit Inuyasha into the ground for trying to stop me, I must go now before he realises I'm gone. See you later."

"Goodbye Kagome, Inuyasha will be safe I promise." Sesshoumaru finished quietly as the girl vanished down the well, just ahead of Inuyasha as he burst into the clearing. The well sparkled normally as it took her away from him and then was still. Inuyasha jumped down to follow her; but nothing happened, time after time he tried to get the well to accept him but it would not. Eventually Sesshoumaru had to stop him by holding him firmly and knocking him out. Midoriko had watched the whole thing as Kagome vanished and she confirmed that the well had sealed to Sesshoumaru's unasked question.

"I think that this particular cruelty is worthy of Naraku, Miko." Sesshoumaru said, as Kagura knelt beside the prone hanyou and wafted a gentle breeze over his brow with her fan."Does my brother realise that the girl will never know that all this happened when she gets back? That she will have no memory of him?"

"This he does not know, nor should he. It was hard enough for him to know that she would have to leave, never to return. He did not disclose this to Kagome or anyone however; choosing to carry the burden alone, so as not to make the others unhappy."

"He is coming round." Kagura warned, as Inuyasha groaned and tried to sit up. When he realised where he was and what had happened, he flung himself at the well again screaming for Kagome to come back. There was nothing anyone could do for him, he was beyond reasoning and was screaming for his lost love. The whole village heard him and Miroku's heart clenched in dread; he too had wondered about the well and the results of the purification of the jewel. Soon everyone had turned up in the clearing; it did not take anyone any genius to work out what had happened.

There was silence for the main except for the wailing of a small fox kit and hanyou grieving together.

TBC


	3. Midoriko Explains

Ch 3 Midoriko Explains

Miroku took control by sending the inquisitive villagers back to their ongoing party; leaving only those who were the small group and close friends of Inuyasha and Kagome to find out just what had happened. Not that it was hard to work out, considering the misery of the hanyou and his still desperate calls of his beloved's name. The group looked on in shock; but none more so than Sango, who suddenly reached out for Inuyasha and shook him; her hands on his shoulders as she screeched at him. Unmoved by the huge, damp golden eyes that stared at her without understanding; she was so angry and hurt, that she was shouting in his face.

"You knew, didn't you? You _**knew**_ that she would be taken away from us didn't you? How could you just let her go like that; she was my friend, my _**sister**_" Sango was in tears, her face scrunched up and her tone positively vitriolic. Inuyasha could not defend himself against her and she reared back to slap his face hard before Miroku could pull her away. But it was too late, her words had reached the vulnerable ears of the distraught kit.

"You knew?" He wailed; "Kagome is gone forever? No, she must come back; go and get her you idiot, go. Go now."

"I can't Shippou, you saw that the well has sealed for me; she's gone kid, gone. I _couldn't_ stop her; I didn't know she was just going home for a bit, only that the well would close the next time she used it."

"Don't give me that, you always knew when she was going home, you made her go didn't you? Idiot, idiot, I hate you, hate you, You knew." With that the kit jumped to Inuyasha's ears and bit and pulled them making the hanyou yelp. Shippou's teeth were very sharp and ripped into the delicate ears making them bleed. Inuyasha just accepted it until he was rescued by Sesshoumaru, the only one who was strong enough to remove the angry kitsune. He gave him over to Miroku and Inuyasha got up looking at his friends.

"I _know_ she was your friend and sister, but she was going to be my mate; Kagome was my _home_." And he shot off into the trees, howling his loss. All the youkai who heard him, felt the howl of grief call to them and joined in commiserating. Even Kouga and Ayame lifted their throats with their wolves to add their calls to his and it took a lot of restraint on Sesshoumaru's part also, to not to answer in kind.

Amidst the despair Midoriko stood and started to speak. She did not raise her voice at all; but such was her presence and reputation that silence greeted her, so that she would be heard.

"In understanding your grief, I have to be saddened at the overly cruel way that you have treated your friend. He has lost the most and also given the most, he did not want any of you to have a grievous parting with Kagome and only wanted what was best for her. He alone had been told that there was no possibility that she could stay in an era not her own; neither could he stay in hers. Telling you would not have changed the outcome; only made your last hours together miserable, instead of as happy as they were."

"Should we not go and find him?" Asked Miroku. "He will not be as alert to danger in the state of mind he is in."

"He is safe at the moment and he has had a lifetime of learning how to cope on his own when he is in distress. Do not fear for him." Midoriko looked pointedly at Sesshoumaru. "You have a question for This Midoriko, Lord of the West?" Her tone did not mock him and so he did not take offence at her turn of phrase.

"You know the heart of all who come into contact with the jewel. Was it not the intent of my brother to use the jewel to become full youkai? Why did he not use it to do so?" He tried not to flinch under her intense but kindly gaze.

"Inuyasha's desire to become full youkai was to gain acceptance in society. He was mainly seeking your approbation and love, as he has always done; but when you told him that nothing he could do would make him acceptable to you, he gave up the desire for a while. He was willing at that point to die, but would not commit seppuku and risk bringing disgrace on his father or his brother; by taking what he considered a cowardly way out of what was for him, a bitter situation.

"He then met Kikyou and one of the main reasons he agreed to become human, was so that he would die naturally much earlier and you would then be rid of his polluted blood. I understand he told you this himself, when you gave him a beating about the decision. But I believe you all now know what happened after that and the reinstatement of his desire to become full youkai once more. He gave up the idea when he slaughtered the bandits in his youkai state. Lord Sesshoumaru, do you remember what Inuyasha was like as a 'pup' before he lost his mother?"

"Of course, he was gentle and kind to all; a very loving and trusting child, often happy and desirous of love and affection."

"Never crass or rude?"

"No, never as a small child."

"So, he learnt to fear and hate only after his mother died. His trust was gone and all the finer feelings he had were swallowed up, as he perceived all the hatred directed at him. But they did not fully go. In the privacy of his mind, he still had tender feelings and whenever he saw pain or distress, he wished to solve it and would wonder how the shikon could solve different problems for people. All your healings and wishes were specifically asked for by Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru wondered what it was about Midoriko that had made him reveal all that personal knowledge about Inuyasha; he who was so tight lipped about anything, had just answered questions as if she had a right to demand them. It made him uncomfortable, but once again he felt put at ease when Midoriko gave him a gentle smile that did not condemn his actions. She now addressed the others.

"It is Inuyasha's natural personality that although buried deep by the harshness of his life, is still there and that alone allowed him to be the one to make the wish on the jewel. If he had been normally rude and brash, he would have been too dangerous to be entrusted with the wish and it would have been given to Kagome. She taught the boy to trust and care again."

There was much to ponder on from the words of Midoriko and Sesshoumaru had another question for the Miko.

"What of my brother, what gift has the pup received from this jewel? All I have seen is his pain."

"Inuyasha had no request for himself, he was informed earlier that he could not have Kagome. His benefit has come during the search for the shards as he made friends and learned to trust again. His other dearest wish cannot be conferred by the jewel and has to be recognised by someone else for it to be granted."

"I still consider that he has had the raw end of this. He comes away with nothing for all his toil and for the strongest Miko and jewel in existence able to do nothing for him except dash all his hope, is intolerable cruelty." Sesshoumaru was at his most imperious; his little brother's pain was almost tangible to himself.

"_You_ are now concerned for the welfare of a tainted, filthy halfbreed; who should have been slain as he was whelped, Sesshoumaru? The stain on your family is entitled to have hopes other than death?"

"That is no longer how I think of him Miko; nor has it been for a long while, if I ever really did. I will be informing Inuyasha that he can have a welcome, permanant home in the West. I promised his Miko that he would be safe from harm, not least from myself." He answered proudly and with no hint of hypocrisy. Sesshoumaru was not a liar and Midoriko smiled and said in a voice for him alone; _'he will need it.'_

A new voice broke in the tone worried and concerned, it was Miroku;

"My dear Lady, I think it important to find my distressed friend. He may be able to look after himself, but he shouldn't have to be alone as if none of us cares for him. I wish to go and find him."

"He is at the very top of Goshinboku, Monk. This Sesshoumaru would not have let him go anywhere I could not sense him, knowing his frame of mind." Miroku could hear the rebuke, but also the permission and he took off in search of his bereaved friend. There was no way that Miroku could climb Goshinboku to reach Inuyasha so he sat at the bottom silently, knowing that the hanyou would realise he was there.

"Come down Inuyasha please, come back to your friends. I shall stay here until you come to me." He prepared himself for a long wait, knowing how stubborn his friend was and therefore, when Inuyasha landed gracefully next to him; he nearly jumped in surprise. The young hanyou sat next to his friend without saying a word, just sitting with his knees to his chest and his chin resting on his knees looking straight ahead of him.

"They did not mean any of what they said to you Inuyasha, you do know that by now don't you?"

"Feh!"

"I'm very sorry Inuyasha, I realise it has been hardest for you." Miroku didn't move, as in a rare moment of trust in their friendship, Inuyasha leaned his head sideways and rested on Miroku's upper arm. The monk didn't move or speak, even when he felt a few hot tears soak through his sleeve; he was just there for the hurting boy and his presence was enough for Inuyasha. For once Miroku was totally wise and didn't make any movement to disturb the fragile trust of the inu-hanyou, who needed his understanding more than anything else at that moment.

Soon Inuyasha sniffed and wiped his sleeve across his eyes and nose reminding Miroku of a young child; he was pulling himself together and away, back into his own space. This time Miroku took the initiative and gently but firmly, patted his back and told him to get up as they were going back to the others. Unusually, Inuyasha meekly got up and followed Miroku; very subdued with his ears down and back against his head. Miroku frowned at this strangely submissive behaviour of Inuyasha's when he remembered that they were returning to a group who had seemed most displeased with him.

Inuyasha's confidence had taken a major knock and he didn't have Kagome to fight his corner anymore; he was alone again, a hanyou amongst pure youkai and pure humans. He was afraid and knew that at least some of them would be able to tell, which made him nervous; it was a vicious circle and his fight or flight instinct was trying to kick in. Before he could do either, his brother was standing before him; shielding him from everyone else's view. Sesshoumaru said nothing at first to him; but sniffed him gently, recognising the scent of tears and also blood.

Without further ado and to Inuyasha's barely contained horror, Sesshoumaru bent his head to lick his brother's injured ears, using his saliva to heal as opposed to poison. Inuyasha had never been used to pack behaviour or treated as family and he opened his huge, startled eyes at his amused older brother. But he had to admit, his brother's ministrations certainly eased the soreness that Shippou had wrought on his puppy ears. He didn't realise that subconsciously he was turning his head so that his brother had better access.

When he had finished, Sesshoumaru stroked his brother's hair and whispered to him;

"You will be welcome at any time in the West my brother. Our father's home will be yours once again, should you wish it." Sesshoumaru found that he was hoping that Inuyasha _would_ come home with him and Kagura. It would be good to try to start his dynasty at last with a worthy mate, his brother and his ward at the centre of his love and protection. He made no comment when he heard his brother sniffle; but he did blow gently on his ear in a calming gesture, that also expressed his acceptance to Inuyasha as well.

As soon as Sesshoumaru moved away from him slightly, Inuyasha was swamped by Sango and Shippou who were both extremely sorry for the hurt they had caused him especially Shippou; who burst into noisy tears when he saw the state of Inuyasha's ears. Inuyasha ended up giving the comfort instead of receiving it; but it suited him better, than anyone fussing over and embarrassing him.

Soon they were headed once again for the village and Kouga and Ayame were going to leave along with their wolves for the northern mountains and the start of their new life together. Kouga looked long and hard at Inuyasha and realised the real reason why the hanyou had not stopped Kagome from embracing him and his friends. For the first time he was concerned for his long time adversary; Inuyasha was going to be very lost without his young, almost mate.

The rest decided to get sleep before any decisions for the future were made. Whatever the morning brought, their lives had all been changed irrevocably and the future for Inuyasha was not going to be easy.

TBC


	4. Lost

Ch 4 Lost

The following morning dawned bright and cheerful, a perfect day to go shard hunting except that was no longer on the agenda. Or, it was the perfect day to start the new life that had been granted; free of Naraku and full of promise for the courting of prospective partners and mates. Inuyasha left the relative comfort of the roof of Kaede's hut to walk to the well. Kagome's scent was still there and comforted the lost boy; if he closed his eyes, he could imagine that he had been sat and was waiting for her to get over her anger and come back to him.

Inuyasha didn't think he could stay around the village where those who now were pairing up would be uncomfortable and unable to relax or enjoy themselves around him, knowing what he had lost. He did not wish to be a killjoy or gooseberry. From the obscurity of the trees, Sesshoumaru watched over his brother along with Kagura. She was keeping the gentle summer breeze flowing away from them, so that Inuyasha was not aware of being spied upon. She turned her peerless ruby eyes on the Lord by her side.

"You are concerned for Inuyasha are you not, Sesshoumaru?"

"I have reason to be. Kagura, I have decided that Inuyasha will come home with me; if neccessary I shall order him home as his alpha, but I will not forbid his friends to visit. If you choose to come home with me, perhaps to become my mate, it will have to be on this understanding; that I shall put the needs of my brother and my ward on at least, if not more, an equal footing as myself. My mate will naturally be by my side in consideration."

"If you choose wisely, your mate would be quite understanding of her husband's family responsibilities and would see the care as an indicator of how he would care for any pups they might have. Did any of that make sense Sesshoumaru?"

"Perfect sense Kagura." Sesshoumaru held up his hand slightly asking for silence from her and turned his head slightly as he realised they were not alone. "Midoriko, you have something else to say concerning my brother?"

"Before I go, There is still a small amount of youki to dissipate; I offer it to your ward to give her the longevity of a youkai. It would not change her in any other way and it would stop all of you from losing her too soon." Midoriko waited for his carefully thought decision on the matter. Whatever he thought of the treatment of his brother he knew she was not going to harm Rin in any way. She was too pure for lies and would not have been able to create the jewel if she had any deceit in her; he would...regret, it if Rin was taken from him in old age.

"I accept your offer, thank you."

"I leave you one last thing to ponder concerning your brother. He and Kagome do love one another, but it would always have been a stormy mating. The problem being that Kagome was nearly of her adult mind set and would never have stopped using that rosary to win her arguments. Inuyasha however has quite a few years yet until his full maturity, and with peace and acceptance his character will grow. They would have grown apart in time; not irreparably, but she is not his soul mate.

"There is someone else who will suit him better. I am not at liberty to divulge who that is, but he will find her in due time. At the moment though, he has lost his best friend and his security; therefore, the rosary will come off only when he is ready to take it off himself."

"That is something of which This Sesshoumaru already had concerns. My brother and the Miko rarely talked through problems and both are stubborn. I will care for my brother until such times as he is healed, however long that may take. I give this, my word to our father; Inuyasha shall be protected."

"It is time for me to go and I must leave to give your ward and the Miko Kaede the last of our powers." With that, Midoriko walked her last graceful trip to the village to seek out Kaede and Rin. Sesshoumaru was torn between guarding his brother or checking Rin; it was Kagura who said _'Go' _she would keep an eye on his little brother. His trust was gratifying for her as he left, to reach the hut ahead of Midoriko.

Kaede welcomed them both into her hut and listened well to Midoriko's proposal to Rin. Giving the girl herself the option of the length of life enjoyed by youkai, or the normal mortality of humans. Rin at about ten years old was perhaps too young to realise the full significance of her decision, but the offer could not be held to wait for her to grow. She however had no doubts, she wished to always be with her beloved Lord and was rapidly getting fond of Kagura; she never wanted to be parted from them. Sesshoumaru found himself oddly moved at her declaration and once again knew he'd not made a mistake in using his father's fang to revive the little girl.

Kaede was also asked a serious question by Midoriko, would she be willing to accept Midoriko's power and wisdom before the end of the day. It would not be Midoriko herself but just her Miko powers. It too would lengthen her now healthier life, by quite a few years and take her from out of the shadow of her older sister plus, Midoriko's powers could be used to benefit people for longer. It was not a hard choice for Kaede, for although she did not seek renown of her own; she had often felt that Kagome was not the only one who had felt undistinguished, next to the beautiful Kikyou.

Midoriko having accomplished her last tasks vanished with a sigh of relief and the occupants of the hut were left looking at each other in a form of anticlimax. With the Miko's disappearance the whole episode of Naraku and the jewel was finally over. Neither Rin nor Kaede felt especially different even though Kaede was vastly but secretly amused by the Lord's careful inspection of his young ward. He looked her all over and got her to move in various ways, then sniffed at her to see if her scent had changed.

Apparently, satisfied that no harm had come to the child he visibly relaxed and nodding at Kaede he once again left Rin in her care to return to Kagura.

He got back to find that Inuyasha had curled up next to the well and was asleep; helped by the warm and flower scented breeze that Kagura was wafting softly around his head. She was sitting on the well's edge and the movements of her hand passing over the sleeping boy were tender; almost motherly and it made Sesshoumaru smile. His instincts it seemed, were correct about Kagura. Asleep, Inuyasha looked so young still that it pulled at Sesshoumaru's heart and he felt guilt and remorse for his prior neglect and sometimes cruel treatment of his little brother.

He went and sat down next to Kagura and found some peace in the silence of the glade with a contentment he hadn't felt before in all his adult life, Kagura was already making him feel complete and when he had Inuyasha back in his rightful place...Sesshoumaru's musings were interrupted as his brother started to wake up and he watched as Inuyasha's childish face closed off and hardened as he realised who was near to him. Neither youkai said anything to intimidate the young hanyou, who's heart rate had rocketed on waking and was now calming as he found he was not in immediate danger.

"Feh! was all he said as he stood before the pair, his hands tucked into his sleeves. To break the embarrassement that he was sure his brother was feeling, at having woken up at the feet of his older sibling; Sesshoumaru informed him about Rin and Kaede. Inuyasha nodded and was happy for both of them, but then he looked away.

Once again Sesshoumaru made the offer for Inuyasha to come home with him, but this time he made the request stronger and Inuyasha knew that it was expected of him to fall into place.

It was not that he didn't feel the generous offer acceptable and in all truth, he was grateful for his brother's care; after all, he had longed for it for all of his life. But he was not ready yet to leave the village. Part of him felt that if he left the well he would have to accept that it was closed and Kagome would never come back; but he wasn't ready to give up hope, however irrational that hope may be. Not that that was what he said to excuse himself to his brother; he claimed that he wished to see his friends settled first.

"Very well Inuyasha, but should you delay too long, I shall come for you myself. We will be leaving now, I need to see to my lands and to settle Kagura and Rin in the Western Palace." Sesshoumaru didn't mention that he knew Inuyasha's real reason for wanting to stay, or that he would put a discreet guard on his little brother; Midoriko's mention of seppuku in connection with Inuyasha had not gone unnoted.

"Keh! was the reply this time as Inuyasha watched Sesshoumaru offer his arm to Kagura as they went to collect Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un. He watched as they vanished from sight and once he was sure he was alone he collapsed in tears, his head resting on the edge of the well. Something warm and furry pushed it's way under the boy's chin and he put his arms around the neck of Kirara who had come and transformed, offering him comfort. She had in her teeth, held very gently so her own odour didn't swamp it, the small red tie of Kagome's old uniform.

It had been used as a rag by Kagome for a couple of years once it had got ripped and was left in Kaede's hut; the girl's unique scent permeating the cloth. Inuyasha held it to his nose and then with a ragged sigh, he put it in his breast pocket and lay his head down on the firecat's side as she lay letting him rest. This became his pattern; he wouldn't come back to the hut, leaving Kaede or Sango to bring him food and Kirara would keep him company through the long lonely nights. Shippou would come to sit with him and look down the dark hole but he started to transfer his affections to Sango, who now held him at night and made sure he had some of the sweet cakes that she made.

She and Miroku had already talked to Shippou, offering him a home with them and Kohaku should he want to stay with them. They were going to stay in the village; at least for a while until they went to restart the slayer's village. Shippou was torn between his loyalties and genuine sadness that Kagome was not coming back, but his need for a family unit was greater and he willingly agreed to stay with them. Inuyasha was happy for him, but it highlighted the fear that he kept trying to keep far away from his conscious mind.

Once again he was a hanyou alone, even though he now had friends and possibly family; how long would it last until he was the odd one out and ostracised? Kagome had given him his confidence to stand tall in his world. She and her family had accepted him as he was and loved him regardless; they helped him to feel he was not just living an illusion. Now he was almost back to square one; soon he would start to see the scathing looks and hear the harsh words again and he would be reduced to hiding away, so as not to bring dangerous reproach on those who aided him.

Two weeks went by like this for Inuyasha, two weeks where his friends worried about him without his knowledge, worried that his weight had dropped as was evidenced by the way the firerat kimono hung from his frame. He either sat in his tree or by the well and hardly spoke to anyone, lost in his own world; Kirara the only one who he tolerated for any length of time.

He was in the Goshinboku one evening when his nose was assaulted by a pungent smell that was very strong; Inuyasha had to cover his nose as he jumped down to find the source of the vile odour. His head started to reel and he was nearly passing out, when he was hit violently in the head knocking him out instantly. Unconscious he fell to the ground and was in danger of the final blow to his life when an Inu-Youkai guard who'd been commanded by Sesshoumaru to guard his little brother, dashed out and ended the life of the hunter with a swift blow to his throat from his lethal claws.

As he was assessing the damage already done to Inuyasha, another concerned youkai stared at the downed hanyou with his startling blue eyes. Moving swiftly over to Inuyasha he too, took note of the scent residue and took charge.

"You are one of Sesshoumaru's men aren't you? Well you'd better go and get your master as quickly as you can. I'm the Wolf Prince Kouga and I'll take this mutt back to those who can care for him. Tell Sesshoumaru he will be at Kaede's." With that Kouga swiftly picked up the fallen boy and without a backward glance took off to Kaede. The guard was long gone on his way to the West in any case, winging back on a cloud of youki.

Kouga was horrified at how small Inuyasha seemed and realised how much of his brash persona was surface show. He had not known how much Inuyasha was just a boy still; albeit a boy who had helped defeat Naraku, but not much older in real terms than the kit he had cared about. But now his priority was to get Inuyasha into a stable condition, his breathing was shallow and rapid as was his heart rate and there was far too much blood from the head wound.

Kaede sent for Sango to help her with cleaning Inuyasha once she had stabilized his vital signs, It had taken some time to get him to stop bleeding and for his youki to take over with the healing. He was still under the influence of the fumes he'd inhaled and while he was unconscious, as he certainly would not have permitted such familiarity if he had been awake; Kaede had taken the opportunity to give him an examination. She was shocked at the state of him, he was much too thin and while she and Sango looked horrified at each other, the door opened to admit the Western Lord.

Sesshoumaru was struck in much the same way as Kouga had been as he looked on his disrobed brother. He knelt down next to Inuyasha and tenderly stroked his face and brushed the hair from his forehead even petting the puppy ears. Then he pulled the blanket to cover Inuyasha's nakedness and asked Sango to go to the clearing with him. He wanted to get to the bottom of the attack. As he left he looked at Kaede and said quietly;

"Thank-you. Please keep your attention on him tonight."

"Of course My Lord, thy brother is a special child to us all." Kaede was able to hold his gaze and he nodded to her as he left.

Sango found it easy to work out what had happened even able to name the poison that had been used. She said that there would always be isolated individuals or groups who hunted youkai; but that it was unusual to find any take on a high level youkai, or one so close to a village without having been invited or asked to get rid of a nuisance. She would ask questions around the village. Sesshoumaru merely answered that he was taking Inuyasha home with him.

TBC


	5. Regression and Memories

Ch 5 Regression and Memories

Inuyasha's breathing and pulse steadied a few hours after he had been treated by Kaede and the head wound had closed. He was now sleeping more easily and those who watched over him relaxed. But when the morning light started to shine through the window ,it was right in Inuyasha's face and yet he made no move to get out of it's way or even to awaken. This was unheard of normally, but Sesshoumaru could see that his brother was not sleeping properly; he was sleeping, comatose. Leaning forward to check on Inuyasha, he woke Kaede and between them they tried to rouse the boy.

Kouga popped his head in to see how things were and to check with Sesshoumaru to see if it were O.K for him to leave with Ayame now; they had held off leaving so that they could oversee the village, until such times as it was certain that there would be no attacks or reprisals because of the jewel's disappearance. Obviously, Inuyasha was not in any condition to fight; but no one had come in the time since, so it was probable that the news had spread. The jewel was really gone. Kaede was certainly strong enough now with Midoriko's added power and Miroku's help to hold a good barrier or purify, if any were foolish to came later.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head in assent to Kouga, even thanking him for delaying his own journey. Kouga just said _'look after the mutt' _and left. But from Inuyasha there was nothing, not even a flicker and so they waited; until more sounds came from the village and the smells of breakfasts cooking became apparent. By the time Sango and Miroku arrived in the hut much later, Inuyasha was still sleeping.

By lunchtime the sleeping hanyou started to move his head and moaned in some distress. Kaede had prepared some herbal painkiller for the residual headache that Inuyasha was bound to have and she tried to get him to drink as Sesshoumaru supported his head. But he thrashed his head whimpering. Sango and Miroku had gone to see about the building of their hut under the supervision of Shippou, so no one else was in the hut with them; which was just as well as Inuyasha suddenly turned to Kaede his eyes closed and cried;

"Mama, I's wet." Kaede took this announcement in her stride and stroked his head saying;

"Never mind child, I'll sort it out; just get well for me." Kaede then looked at the blank stare that Sesshoumaru was giving her. "I have seen this regression in a head injury before, it is not neccessarily something for concern."

"I shall deal with him Miko, it will not be the first time." Sesshoumaru, swiftly but gently; sorted his brother out and Inuyasha went back to being unagitated and asleep until later that same day. Inuyasha once again started to thrash about, whimpering and calling very softly for his mama; this time Kaede was prepared for him and the 'accident' was averted. But the soft calls for his mama didn't stop and they could make out the words _hungry_ and _dark_ amid the extremely childish sounds he was making; even his voice was small and soft.

Kaede looked slightly worried when the whimpers continued; but in a hushed way, as if he was afraid of making a noise. He started to pant and almost hyperventilate and Sesshoumaru could tell that Inuyasha had become afraid, his heart rate up high again and he tried to turn over onto his tummy and curl up with his limbs all tucked up underneath him. Then he stopped calling for his mother and the name changed to something Kaede couldn't quite make out '_Sessoru'. _It was whispered almost fearfully but longingly as well. Inuyasha had turned his head and become aware of his brother's scent, even if he still didn't wake.

"Where Mama, Sessoru; want Mama?" Inuyasha was searching blindly for his brother and sniffing hard, trying to scent out his mother; Kaede suggested to Sesshoumaru that he answered his brother and did he know what the problem was? Inuyasha seemed to be reliving a memory. Sesshoumaru indicated that he did know the memory that Inuyasha seemed to be lost in.

"Soon Inu; your mama is not here at the moment." He replied.

"I not go to broffel, Sessoru not make me go. What is broffel?" Mama, Mama." All this was whispered; but none the less, Inuyasha was getting more and more agitated and Sesshoumaru actually looked saddened for a moment, glancing at Kaede who kept her face carefully neutral. She needed to gain Sesshoumaru's confidence if she was to get answers.

"If I know what he is remembering My Lord, I can perhaps be better prepared with medicine in case the memory is more worrying and makes him ill. Nothing ye can tell me will leave this hut, I am used to hearing all sorts of troubles." Kaede thought she would be waiting forever, for Sesshoumaru to divulge any family secret; so perhaps it was the influence still of the Miko of the jewel, that made him open up a little. Inuyasha seemed to be asleep again although sometimes he still called for his mother quietly, not like a child who normally would call out loudly.

_Sesshoumaru remembered;_

The pup was missing and it's mother had asked for assistance to find him. He was only about four years old and although he was half brother to the current Lord, he was not totally safe inside the castle. There were many who might see fit to destroy the pup, thinking they were ingratiating themselves with the Lord. Inuyasha and his mother had been offered shelter in the Palace by Sesshoumaru; in memory of their mutual father who had used the last of his strength to protect the pair. It would not be said that Sesshoumaru dishonoured his father by wasting his sacrifice. But that did not mean he had any feelings for the whelp and his mother.

The pup was proving most elusive and Izayoi was trying not to panic; knowing that it would not help find her son in the castle full of youkai. It was Sesshoumaru who first heard the small and almost silent whimper, above his head in a unfrequented part of the Palace. With a genuine sigh of relief, which he would not admit even to himself; he noted the slight gap in one of the ceiling panels and was soon pushing the panel aside and gracefully jumping up into the loft space.

His eyes immediately adapted to the dark and he scanned the large area ,spying a pale little huddle which his nose could also have told him was his baby brother. The stench of wet puppy was hard to miss, even with the dust and musty smell that clogged his senses; but then he noticed that the whelp was naked and his clothes were near the entrance to the loft. The child hadn't realised that he was no longer alone and was whimpering and calling for his mother. Sesshoumaru remembered that he was young enough to be scared of the dark and was amazed that he had made no noise. Normally if he wanted his mother he was very vocal.

When Inuyasha finally noticed his brother, he uncurled form his tight little ball and launched himself at the tall figure, latching on to the silk clad leg. Sighing because the child stank of urine, the elder picked up the younger and then the circumstances Inuyasha was in crashed to the front of his mind. How had the pup got up here by himself? Why was he so very quiet for so long? Why was he naked? Answers he came up with were: that Inuyasha had been hidden away by somebody else; he was afraid or had been intimidated into silence but thankfully, after a careful check over by sight and scent, he had not been touched in any incorrect way...yet.

Bringing Inuyasha down from the hideout he then asked who had put him up in the attic, but Inuyasha didn't know or recognise the youkai; who had told him to go with him for a game. At this answer the pup was given a long lecture accompanied by a severe, for a four year old, bare bottomed spanking; reminding him that he had been told not to go with strangers. When Inuyasha could get a word in edgeways, he sobbed that the man wasn't a stranger; he had known Sesshoumaru's name _and_ Inuyasha's and had said that his big brother had wanted to play hide and seek with him. So he mustn't make a noise or he would spoil Sesshoumaru's game.

Sesshoumaru's anger, born from his relief; now changed it's direction and focus. Someone had wanted to commit a terrible crime on his baby brother and for some reason had been thwarted; but had been willing to leave the pup lost, hungry and afraid. When he reached the bottom of this crime, whoever it had been would wish he'd never been born. He didn't apologise to Inuyasha of course, the spanking would still serve as a salutary reminder; but he took the chastised puppy to the bath and cleaned him up personally, which he knew would be a treat for his brother. Sesshoumaru was good at bathtime play.

After the great rejoicing at the pup being found and returned to his mother, the next few days were fairly calm. Sesshoumaru had not got any clues about the abductor of his little brother, until one day when he was entertaining some of his peers. Inuyasha had bounced in and interrupted the proceedings; not understanding that his beloved brother was busy and he was not showing the proper decorum for a young prince. Before Sesshoumaru could tell the pup off disdainfully and dampen his spirit by haughtily bidding him leave; Inuyasha was picked up by a laughing youkai and sat on his lap.

"Leave the pup, Sesshoumaru; he is amusing, I know he is your brother but these ears so _ridiculous_." As he was speaking he was twisting Inuyasha's ears, making him squeak. Sesshoumaru was aware of his little brother just staring at him, his huge golden eyes very intense and unwavering.

"Put him down Targa, he is not worth your interest and if you make him cry, his wretched mother will come in screeching and giving me a headache." Sesshoumaru was trying to work out what Inuyasha was trying to say with his eyes. The child was abnormally still and was still staring straight at him.

"He is quite pretty Sesshoumaru, will you put him to the brothels when his mother is no longer able to have a say in the matter? I dare say that someone would find him...attractive. After all, it is the only good use for a hanyou; unless of course, you decide to hunt and chase them."

"I not go to broffel, what is broffel Sessoru?" Inuyasha was now very scared and everyone in the room knew it; especially when there was the unmistakable scent of urine once again and Targa leapt up dropping Inuyasha to the floor.

"Ughh! Sesshoumaru he should still be in napkins." Suddenly Sesshoumaru knew what his brother was trying to say, this was the youkai who had hidden him away in the loft and his blood boiled at the thought of what might have happened to Inuyasha; by this youkai who thought he should also be made a whore. But for now, Sesshoumaru had his position to keep and he gripped the pup by his scruff and marched him back to his mother with the command that the child be put back in napkins to show his disgrace. He hardened his heart at the sound of Inuyasha's tearful begging not to have to be put in nappies again, the pup had been so proud when he had been taken out of them.

That night, Targa met with a sticky end and would never be found; courtesy of Sesshoumaru's poison.

TBC


	6. Not Just for the Night

Ch 6 Not Just for the Night

Kaede thought long and hard on all that Lord Sesshoumaru had disclosed and true to her word, there was no censure in her voice when she asked him a simple question; even if it seemed a non-sequitur.

"My Lord, what did Inuyasha's mother give him to drink as a small pup; perhaps to help him sleep or as a treat or comfort?"

"He had a liking for warmed honey milk." Sesshoumaru's disgust at the thought was barely concealed. Kaede said that it might give him the real rest that he needed to fully heal, if he tasted the drink that he associated with his mother and sleep. It was a common enough soother for small children, Kaede had no trouble in preparing the ingredients and soon had the nourishing drink ready. As she surmised, Inuyasha was more willing to swallow the milk and was soon in a deep and this time true sleep.

"I can watch over him; should ye need to be elsewhere My Lord."

"I shall go to my home for a while, but I shall be back later. Should you need me, the guard will be at your disposal."

"He should sleep until the morning at least and he is not in any physical danger at the moment." Kaede watched as the tall figure left the hut and she inwardly rejoiced; a home with Sesshoumaru would be stimulating enough to give Inuyasha good quality of life; at least, until he felt able to go forward again. Sesshoumaru might still be overbearing, but Inuyasha could do with someone strong to take care of him for a while instead of him being the caregiver. He was too brash and independent to let Sesshoumaru walk all over him; but he would, even if he denied it, be happy to feel safe again.

Sesshoumaru felt he could leave Inuyasha safely in Kaede's capable hands for the time being; until he could check his arrangements for all his family. The Palace was going to find it's quiet and well ordered existence turned on it's head, with the arrival of his brother. Finding that everything was well in hand, just as he expected from his loyal staff; Sesshoumaru was free to speak with Kagura. He was very pleased at her personality now that she was free to be herself and not under the influence of Naraku. Kagura was lively, vivacious and not afraid to speak her mind.

She would make the most interesting mate, as the last thing he needed was a sycophantic mouse. He may not show much on his own stoic face; but he had his own share of internal fire inherited from his father. He was most certainly a passionate creature in the correct circumstances. Circumstances he hoped soon, to find himself in with Kagura. But the time was not yet, despite his desire; he wanted his entire new household settled, before he made her the Lady of the Western Lands.

Meanwhile Inuyasha had woken up in the hut and spied everyone else sleeping; which he realised was not surprising as the sky was black, indicating that it was the dark of the night. Undeterred, he stood up and went outside; having the need to relieve himself and on his way back having scented his brother inside the hut, he decided to go and look for him. The night was warm and still and the scent fairly fresh; but Inuyasha was confused and felt strange, why was his big brother in this village and more importantly, where was his Mama?

"Lord Inuyasha, should you be wandering around? I think you should still be in bed. You were badly wounded."

"Hello Shingi, I's better now; have you seen Mama?" Inuyasha looked trustingly at the guard who was immediately alerted to the fact that Inuyasha was still under the influence of his head wound, by his greeting and the fact that the hanyou was walking around naked in the middle of the night. He also knew enough, that to tell the pup his mother was dead; was not the right answer and so he said he'd not seen her recently. Then Shingi put his own haori around the shoulders of Inuyasha and coaxed the boy back to the hut.

Inuyasha however didn't want to go in, he wanted his brother because he didn't recognise the occupants of the hut and he was wary of strangers; as was evidenced by the firm grip he had of Shingi's hand. Bothered by the whimpers of the hanyou next to him, Shingi was not sure what to do. Inuyasha was not ill as such and it was important for the humans to have their rest; waking the elderly lady would not be kind and so he decided to keep Inuyasha with him until the morning, when he could take counsel on what to do.

"Come Inuyasha, I will take care of you until your brother returns."

"O.K." Inuyasha bounced happily on his feet and Shingi took him to Goshinboku where he sat down and found to his astonishment that Inuyasha sat down on his lap, snuggled himself up and went back to sleep; calmed by a familiar scent. Shingi was not unfamiliar with having Inuyasha so informal with him; the only thing different, was, that many years had passed and the hanyou was no longer a small child. However he was still in need of the same comfort that he often had wanted, but didn't always find; that was someone to care, when he was afraid.

The morning brought a small panic until Inuyasha had been located. The group had woken in Kaede's hut to find the blanket that had covered the sick hanyou, thrown aside and his clothes still piled neatly by the chair. Miroku had gone out to find Inuyasha and went by instinct to Goshinboku; to find his friend still asleep, wearing a strange kimono in the arms of Sesshoumaru's guard. But Miroku for once, forbear any comment that might be misconstrued; he was too worried about the reason why, Inuyasha was here.

When Inuyasha finally woke up it was to seeing his friends sitting chatting quietly around him; but although he recognised their scents from the hut, they were human and humans had always scared him. He pulled back further into Shingi, who put his arm around him; giving him a feeling of safety and the confidence to look at these people. They looked friendly and were not coming any closer to him, so he stared curiously at them. The older female smelled more familiar and he knew that she was the one who had been looking after him.

"Who is you?" He asked timidly. "Is you a new nurse of Inasa?" The way he spoke worried his friends and they looked across at each other until Kaede answered him.

"Aye child, that I be. Thy brother asked me to look after thee." Kaede was studying him closely as she spoke and she moved nearer; noting that he did not flinch at her presence. It was startling to them all, but Inuyasha's face was wide open; there was no deep frown and he had huge unveiled eyes and curious perked ears. It was not easy to say what the difference was; but there was no doubt, that they were definately looking at a child's face. At the mention of his brother, a huge smile lit the boys expression and his eyes glowed happily as he looked around expecting to see Sesshoumaru.

"Sessoru where? where Mama? where Mama?" Inuyasha had started to look around, his eyes darting all over the place and they could all tell the symptoms of a child's panic. Miroku thought to distract him, hoping that a human talking to him wouldn't scare him too much.

"Inuyasha, Inuyasha." He watched as the hanyou turned to look at him warily.

"Whoyou?"

"I am a friend of your...nurse. This is Sango, she and I want to be _your_ friends too." Miroku watched as Inuyasha sniifed cautiously at them. "How old are you Inuyasha?"

"I's four." At this point Shingi elaborated.

"Four youkai years is the same as in human years; up until the first decade, when the similarity ends and the youkai age much slower." Miroku nodded and Sango who was holding on to Shippou tightly while making sure he didn't interrupt, understood. Kaede went slowly up to Inuyasha wanting to examine his head and when he allowed her to, she sighed. His head was healed of injury. Shippou had by now squirmed out of Sango's hold and was engaged in a staring contest with Inuyasha, they were almost nose to nose and Shippou could see for himself that the hanyou was nervous of him and he grinned.

"Wanna play Inuyasha?" He grinned again when Inuyasha looked for approval from Shingi and then got down off his lap. He started to walk after Shippou, who told him to get dressed first.

"Where cloves? Inasa's red cloves?" He spotted them next to Kaede and stood next to her with his arms up, expecting his new nursemaid to dress him. Shingi came to her rescue and swiftly helped the boy; who then ran off after Shippou, with warnings not to go out of sight for either of them. While the boys were chasing each other and generally larking around, Shingi smiled fondly;

"It is a welcome sight to see the young Lord playing. He never got the chance to play with someone when he was a child, but I am in a dilemma. In the circumstances I should go immediately to inform the Lord Sesshoumaru of his brother's condition; but if I leave it may upset the pup, to his detriment."

"That will not be required. I intended to return this morning; what is it that I need to know?" Sesshoumaru had returned to find the hut empty, but the scents of the occupants had led the way to Goshinboku and he had scented Inuyasha's unease; so he masked his aura to see what everyone was doing. However before anyone could tell him how Inuyasha was; there was a great squeal of delight and the cry of _'Sessoru' _as Inuyasha spotted his brother and ran forward to greet him.

Sesshoumaru was a little taken back as Inuyasha ran to him with his arms held up, as if he wanted to be picked up and carried. But the boy stopped short of actually jumping on his brother, to say;

"Sessoru small like Inasa. Is you goin to play wiv me an Sipou now?" The expression on the obviously childlike face was hopeful, but Sesshoumaru shook his head in shock and told his brother he was going to speak with Shingi. "S'O.K. Sessoru; play wiv me later." Inuyasha dashed off but Sesshoumaru expected answers.

"Explain." he demanded; of anyone who might have had an answer. Kaede answered as to how _she_ understood the problem.

"I think, Inuyasha has retreated inside himself. His wound is closed and healed on the outside but as we saw earlier, his mind was hurt as well and is taking some time to heal. At first he was unconscious and I hoped that once he awoke, he would be back to normal; but I was obviously wrong. I am sure it is not permanent, but he seems to have gone back to a time in his life where he was happy. I think with the combination of the severity of the injury and Kagome leaving, he has hidden when he had the chance. I have seen it before in head trauma."

"I too, have heard of such things happening Sire; rarely, but it is known." Shingi contributed.

"You say it is not permanent Miko?"

"I said; I _hope_ it is not permanent. The damage was quite extensive, it may be that his brain is still bruised and needs more time to heal."

"It may also depend on when Inuyasha himself, _wants_ to come back to reality." This spoken quietly from Miroku.

"**He **_**will**_** return**." Sesshoumaru's statement left no room for doubt and as he walked away to retrieve his brother; he didn't see the raised eyebrows and looks that the others gave each other. He reached the area that Inuyasha and Shippou were playing in and watched for a while longer; there was no doubt that his brother wasn't play acting, he could see the face of the 'child' too clearly. Soon he was spotted by his little brother and the kitsune and he was urged by Inuyasha to join them and was almost amused by the pout, when he declined.

"It is time to depart Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru didn't turn to check that his brother was following; Inuyasha had always been an obedient pup in the days before Sesshoumaru's jealousy got the better of him; before he started to turn his affection for the whelp into hatred. He paused for the briefest of moments, when he felt a clawed hand grip hold of his haori; remembering when he used to find the same hand, although much smaller, holding on tight to his hakama when the pup followed him.

Then he was brought up short when Inuyasha enquired once again after his mother and recognising the danger instantly; Sesshoumaru replied that Izayoi had gone to visit her human relatives.

"Mama gone not wiv me?" Inuyasha sniffled and Sesshoumaru once again familiar with the situation; forbid the boy to cry.

"Your human mother is entitled to some respite, from her child Inuyasha. You know you will be well cared for at the Palace." Inuyasha didn't fully understand all that his brother had said, but knew the tone of voice very well and it was not to be argued with, so he hung his head and just quietened.

"Is new nurse comin wiv Inasa?"

"New _nurse_ Inuyasha?"

"Es, see said Sessoru arsted her to look arter Inasa." Inuyasha looked at his brother with such an crystal clear look of trust on his face, that Sesshoumaru's heart clenched and he fervently hoped that the hanyou would be restored to his older self soon. He worked out that Inuyasha must be referring to Kaede and he agreed that it might be better if he could get the Miko to go with them. When they reached the others, Kaede stood up and asked if she should be welcome to accompany them; as Inuyasha might need a 'nurse'.

Seeing that he had been forestalled was pleasing to the Lord, he preferred it to seem that he was being gracious in allowing the Miko to come with them; it was better than admitting he might need help. He inclined his head in assent and ordered Shingi home, to prepare and send Ah-Un to the village; so that Kaede would be able to travel back with them riding the two headed dragon youkai.

"Should any of you wish to see or check on Inuyasha, I will admit you in the Western Palace; on the understanding that you do nothing to disrupt the order or peace, that is normally enjoyed by myself and my staff." Sesshoumaru looked pointedly at Miroku as he added the proviso. Satisfied by their genuine responses of gratitude, he sat down by the tree and allowed Inuyasha to go with Shippou once again until Ah-Un arrived.

Sesshoumaru had a lot to think about, namely, supposing Inuyasha didn't come back to his correct mind; could he cope with a very young child in a nearly adult body. He shook his silver mane; he would have to, he had promised himself and his father's memory; plus there was no way he could leave Inuyahsa alone this young. He was not going to repeat any of the mistakes of the past; Inuyasha would not be going through all that again. Soon Ah-Un arrived and Kaede was helped to mount him. She'd got her medicines and her pots for mixing herbs so she was ready; Inuyasha was going to run alongside and Sesshoumaru would take to the air whilst keeping a weather eye on his charges.

TBC


	7. The Palace in the West

Ch 7 The Palace in the West

They had stopped on their journey for refreshment in deference to the elderly Miko who was not used to travelling such distances any longer and certainly not by dragon. But she was thouroughly enjoying the excursion; she had better health and more energy since the jewel was used to heal everyone and Kaede was impressed with the adventure if not the circumstances. She was very concerned for the hanyou that she had known for most of her life in one way or another, at one point he nearly became her brother. She had grown up while he was cast in dreamless sleep by her sister's arrow and she had shared many of her heart's secrets with the oblivious boy, while he was pinned to the tree.

Then she became a friend of the whole little group; although she and Inuyasha had a special understanding, born of their days when he and Kikyou kept company with each other and she was the watcher of the doomed relationship. Now however, Inuyasha's mind was hurt physically and emotionally and Kaede wished to make sure he was to be cared for properly; before she returned to the village. She and the residents of the small but homely village; owed Inuyasha a debt that could never be repaid.

Sesshoumaru sat by a tree with one of his knees bent and his arms draped over it; he was deep in thought, even as his eyes watched alertly over his younger brother. At the moment Inuyasha was quite happy chasing butterflies and being distracted by the various sights and sounds of the gentle summer afternoon. Every bee that buzzed, had to be hunted down; only to be deserted as the new sound of a grasshopper, diverted the hunter. Then suddenly just like a pup, he flopped down and went straight to sleep; amidst the long grass and heady scent of the nodding meadow flowers.

His brother sighed again, seeing the boy sleep. It was amazing how Inuyasha even _looked_ like the four year old pup, his befuddled mind told him he was; at the moment. Without knowing how long his brother would be like this, it was not easy to make plans. But for now he would have to set some ground rules for Inuyasha and before they reached the Palace. He watched the puppy ears twitching non stop on his brother's head, knowing that they were listening and guarding him in his sleep by instinct; then when the lord decided that they had all had enough rest, he called softly to Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha come here." Sesshoumaru saw the ears twitch again as they registered his voice and woke the boy; who immediately came over to his older sibling.

"I's sleepy Sessoru."

"Be that as it may, it is time to go on. I expect you to be silent when we reach the Palace and not to speak to anyone until I tell you that you may. Do you understand?" His tone was abrupt and ordered.

"Is you cross wiv Inasa?" He whimpered. Sesshoumaru was fazed slightly, he'd forgotton how obedient and eager to please Inuyasha had always been; when he had lived with his mother at the Palace. Before the trusting golden eyes could fill with tears; Sesshoumaru patted Inuyasha's head and said;

"This Sesshoumaru is not angry with you Inuyasha, but I will want to introduce you to my guests and I need you to listen when I do that."

"S'O.K." Inuyasha was all smiles once again and then he was eager to _'go home'. _Once again Sesshoumaru was jolted as he remembered that Inuyasha did once have a proper and fairly _happy_ home at the Palace. And once again, Sesshoumaru promised himself that Inuyasha would have that peace returned to him and better than he had known it before. He was aiming to be at the Palace in time for baths, before the evening meal and to explain Inuyasha's situation to those to whom it would matter.

Crowning the crest of the hill ahead of the Western Palace, Sesshoumaru curbed Inuyasha from running excitedly around all of them and got him to walk more sedately beside himself. He did not however, stop the nervous grip of his haori from his brother's clawed fingers; his brother may not have consciously understood the danger that had surrounded him aged four, but his youki did. Sesshoumaru allowed some of his aura to reach out, to calm his brother's youki and was relieved when Inuyasha relaxed, even if the tight grip was not lessened at all.

Kaede was a silent observer and yet she was not forgotten by the Youkai Lord. He was unfailingly polite in enquiring after her comfort on the dragon and he kept her informed as to how long it would take to reach the Palace. Soon they were walking up the approach to the Palace gates and these opened inwards silently and equally silently, shut strongly behind them. No one commented on the strange group that arrived with their Lord; although most would have recognised the young hanyou who was still wearing his father's firerat.

Inuyasha's youki relaxed even more when they entered into the personal quarter of the royal family, here the servants and guards were all used to Rin by now and were more sympathetic to the mixed household than they had been when Inuyasha had been genuinely only four years old. Rin soon ran up to welcome her Lord home; followed at a more sedate although seductive pace by Kagura. They both were expectng Inuyasha, but Kaede was a surprise and Sesshoumaru indicated that he would explain further when they were in private.

He called for refreshments when he was settled and sent Inuyasha into the adjoining bath area to clean up before dinner; making sure that he left the door open in case he fell into difficulties. Sesshoumaru didn't think he would, his body would probably remember how to keep safe and besides, Inuyasha could swim like a fish by the time he was two. That left the way clear for Sesshoumaru to briefly tell the others, why Inuyasha thought he was only a little pup and why Kaede was going to stay at least until he felt more secure. They were interrupted though by a call from Inuyasha;

"Sessoru, where Inasa's boats?"

"Where they always are." He answered; turning to the inquisitive eyebrows of Kagura and the grinning ten year old Rin and raising his own eyebrows at the splashing coming from his normally quiet secluded bath. He had kept the bath toys for some unnamed reason and had allowed Rin the use of them when she used to bathe in his bath. Now she had grown in confidence and had her own bath and attendents, but he had kept the toys still.

"It is time for you to come out now Inuyasha, dry off and get dressed; then you can have your meal." Sesshoumaru didn't raise his voice, he knew he would be heard and obedience was unquestioned. Sure enough, within two minutes a damp hanyou dressed in a new silk kimono came and sat at his brother's feet. He had a towel set on his shoulders to absorb the damp from his hair and he shyly looked around at the faces he should and yet did not, know. His sense of insecurity was made obvious when he reached his hand up to grab the silk of his brother's leg.

Sesshoumaru in turn, reached down to reassure him by petting his ears gently and to make sure all of his hair was drying _on_ the towel and not under it; making his clothes wet. The meal came and Kaede was astonished to see Inuyasha was able to eat in a very refined manner beffitting a young lordling; there was none of the almost desperate shovelling she had been used to seeing. Then she realised that up till now in his mind, Inuyasha had not had to fight for every mouthful; fearing that it would be stolen from him.

She was not the only one who noticed; of course, his brother had spotted the difference and also had worked out the reason. Sesshoumaru was sure that this innocence of Inuyasha's was going to cause him some headaches due to his now self admitted guilt and once again, hoped that Inuyasha would return soon to his normal mind. Soon after the meal was finished, it was time for Rin to go to bed.

"Can Rin play with Lord Inuyasha in the morning Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes, as long as he is careful. _You_ will have to remember that his claws and fangs are sharp Rin and _he_ may forget you are human."

"I _not_ forget or yous beat me wiv you whip like last time. I 'member." Was the sulky rejoinder from the hanyou who had returned to sit at his brother's feet. Rin was surprised and a bit horrified as she looked at him and he wondered what he had said wrong. He turned puzzled eyes on his brother and explained; "I only bit him Sessoru, cos he hurted my ears and kep pulling my trousis down. Inasa not got a tail so's not look for one. He kep larfin at me and pull my ears hard." Sesshoumaru remembered the account and his anger surfaced when he heard for the first time why it had happened;

"Why did you not tell me why you bit him Inuyasha? I would not have punished you for trying to free yourself." But he winced inwardly under the clear gaze of his little brother.

"You not listen me Sessoru when I trided. Sessoru say no 'scuses. no cir...cir."

"Circumstances?"

"Es...to bite or you was goin to pull Inasa's teefs out." The memory was too close at the moment for Inuyasha and there would have been little Sesshoumaru could do, to forbid the tears that fell from his brother's eyes this time as he remembered. Silence surrounded the pair as they looked at each other; Sesshoumaru made a slight move towards his brother but froze as he saw the boy flinch away. Was it only a few months ago when he would have been delighted to see any such fear in his brother? Now he just felt shame.

Kagura came to the brother's rescue; she knelt down in front of Inuyasha and wiped away his tears with her sleeve, smiling gently at him. Meantime Rin was given a look which she understood. Her Lord was telling her to go to bed _now_. Kagura kept making funny faces at Inuyasha until she got a small smile back; then she put her arms around him to give him a cuddle.

"Feel better now?" She kept a hold of him as he nodded. "Good. I tell you what, if that big meanie brother of your's causes you any more trouble, you come and see me O.K. I can tell him off." Kagura winked at Inuyasha as he looked so astonished.

"Sessoru not listen Inasa ever."

"He will listen to _me_ though and he will listen to you too now; so give him another chance and no more tears, alright?"

"Awright." Inuyasha said in a small voice, but he didn't pull away when Sesshoumaru took Kagura's place; kneeling in front of him.

"Did you want to bite anyone else Inuyasha, for the same reasons; did other's try to hurt you?" Sesshoumaru needed the answer to his question and as he asked, he carefully sniffed all over the younger one taking note of his scent and comparing it to the scent of the baby he had been. Thankfully there was no substantial change; Inuyasha was still untouched and innocent.

"Sessoru's friends alays hurts Inasa; vey pokes me an pince my ears. Vey finks I's funny."

"You never told anybody, not even your mother?"

"Vey says you givs me to vem. I oz a toy for vem an if I not play, you be cross wiv Mama." Inuyasha found himself crushed to Sesshoumaru's chest in a bone crushing hug.

"I promise it will never happen again my brother and I will listen to you always." How easily he had been used as a young lord, his own pride not allowing him to see the dangers that Inuyasha had been in; not from him so much as his so called friends. Reining in his anger so that he did not intimidate his brother he said;

"Now it is time for bed, you will sleep in the rooms next to mine."

"Why? I's gots my toys in my room. When Inasa have Mama back?"

"Not yet and while she is not here, you will sleep where I put you Inuyasha, now go and get to bed and Kaede will come when you are tucked up."

"I'spose." When he had gone and Kaede also, Sesshoumaru almost slumped and Kagura looked at him sympathetically.

"We all have things in our past Sesshoumaru; do not dwell on things you cannot change, just make sure you don't repeat the mistakes." She sat with him, a soothing influence; well into the evening and he learned to appreciate her wisdom and wit. Meanwhile Kaede sat with Inuyasha until he went to sleep; he let her stroke his forehead and sing pup songs in a low voice to him, until he relaxed and closed his eyes.

Kaede knew that there was a futon in the small room off Inuyasha's, that was hers while she was here. Where she could be reached should her charge need her. But the night was peaceful. Some part of Inuyasha recognised sleeping alone was not a problem for him and so he did not awaken. Until, bright and early, he was jumped on and woken up by a boisterous ten year old, who wanted to play.

TBC


	8. A Secure Future

Ch 8 A Secure Future

Inuyasha was more than willing to get up and find something to play with Rin; he had slept really well and soon the pair were outside, chasing and hiding amongst the orchards and gardens of the Western Palace. Sesshoumaru was drawn to his balcony by the sound of children's laughing and he watched them running races, then listened to Rin as she shrieked in delight; when Inuyasha picked her up and ran and jumped faster than she had ever gone before. She had flown on the dragon and been carried at great speed by her Lord, but this jumping up and down was new.

Then he noticed Kagura approach and talk to them and he felt his youki rise in warning; it was reminding him that Kagura had been an enemy and his two charges were vulnerable. He acknowledged the warning, but he had grown to trust the female youkai and besides; he was more than a match for her should she still be treacherous. Kagura had removed her feather, enlarging it and getting Rin and Inuyasha to climb aboard. They did so eagerly and Kagura took them for a ride showing them the ariel view of the grounds and then she cheekily flew in front of Sesshoumaru, then out and over the boundary wall.

Sesshoumaru felt a twinge of concern, but didn't let it develop; he could still see them and hear Kagura's passengers laughing, although when she flew towards the woods at the back of the estate, he heard his brother's slightly worried voice calling for him and rising in pitch;

"Where Sessoru? _Sessoru_." Hearing the slight panic, Rin patted the hanyou on the hand to calm him and made soothing noises; while Kagura started to turn the feather around to take them back. She'd barely changed direction when she felt the strong aura of Sesshoumaru and he was there on his youki cloud, making sure that Inuyasha could see him. He then led them towards a clearing and told Kagura to remain in the air and to the amazement of all of them he transformed to his huge dog form and then took to the skies inviting them to play.

There followed a mad hour of frolics which they all enjoyed; as Kagura flew around and under the belly and paws of the large white dog. When she 'buzzed' his head, those on the feather felt a frisson of fear as they saw the baleful crimson and turquoise eye follow their every move; sometimes making a snap of his huge teeth near the end of the feather. After the hour that had Sesshoumaru's ears ringing, with more high-pitched delighted screeches from both Inuyasha and Rin; he indicated that it was time to return.

Inuyasha wanted to ride back on Sesshoumaru's shoulders and once he'd said it, Rin added her own pleas to his; the Youkai Lord was persuaded and he took them back in time for breakfast. They were all hungry and the food was excellent; contented, Sesshoumaru looked over his family and thought that this, was something he had been looking for; without realising it for years. He found it pleasant to join in with the small group and recognised that his father would have felt the same, when he had played with the child Sesshoumaru and his mother in much the same way; it would be completely perfect if only his brother was not as a child at the moment.

Kagura joined Sesshoumaru in the garden as he walked purposefully towards the flower garden. The children, as he had begun to think of Rin and Inuyasha; were running off their masses of energy, by playing with a couple of balls that they had found. The Youkai Lord extended his arm to allow Kagura to take his elbow and walk by his side; they walked in comfortable silence for a while before Sesshoumaru said;

"I have sent for an old family friend who is a noted physician. I require him to examine Inuyasha, as he has a rare talent of being able to see into the sleeping mind. He may be able to tell us whether or not Inuyasha is permanantly scarred."

"Would it matter to you and whether or not you look after him, Sesshoumaru?"

"It would not, I have an obligation and even a love for him that requires my care and protection. But is it right to ask you, to be willing to take on the same burden?"

"He is hardly a burden Sesshoumaru, he is a delightful child; I had no idea that he was such. He certainly hid it well as an adult." She said wryly, trying to lighten his mood but instead it darkened.

"That too was my doing. My pride stopped me helping him, the disgraceful filthy blooded hanyou; he lived a very hard childhood and is not even a fully grown adult now. I was left with him, when I was about the same age as he was, when he got pinned to Goshinboku. He however, would not have treated any child the way I treated him; in fact he didn't, the fox kit was safe and probably loved by my brother and he was not even blood kin.

"I lost my beloved father and got this tiny replacement instead. Same hair and same eyes, but not my father; who had encouraged me, trained me and who loved me despite my high and mighty adolescent attitude. Father wanted me to protect Inuyasha and I failed them both; my failure disgusted me, yet at the same time it made me hard and cruel. I would see my father in Inuyasha's open and loving face but it made me hate him, instead of engendering love for him. It was my father I wanted to hold me and give me the comfort I needed when I wept over his death, not the little shadow who followed me as if mocking my loss...I have never told this to anyone before, not even myself."

"I am honoured My Lord, in your confidences. I think you may be able to make amends by kindness to him now; enough to make your father proud of you once again."

"I would wish to regain the pup's trust, seeing him as he is now makes me realise how much I missed him. He always loved me regardless of how he was treated, when he was this age."

"He has _never_ stopped loving you Sesshoumaru. Naraku knew this and would exploit his desire to be accepted by you. He spent hours watching your brother for any signs of weakness. His little pack and you, he would have died for any of you. He deserves your loyalty and your love; he will have mine, however things turns out." Kagura was serious, it was obvious and once again Sesshoumaru felt a deep warmth for her and he decided to ask her that evening to become his mate.

Kaede agreed to stay at the Palace at least until after the physician came and gave his verdict on Inuyasha; if the hanyou hadn't returned to his normal self by then. He still required someone to sit with him until he slept; someone to tell him stories and sing him songs and above all stop him missing his mother so acutely, that he would realise her loss was something more than he was being told.

After the two young ones had gone to bed, Kagura and Sesshoumaru took another walk in the gardens; this time in the glorious late evening sun. There was still warmth in the air and the scents of the honeysuckle and roses was perfuming the gardens; having been released by the sun to make this eventime so fragrant. Sitting together on a bench; beneath a willow tree drooping its leaves towards the Koi Pond, Sesshoumaru asked Kagura to become his life's mate. He had planned the setting perfectly, the serene surroundings and picturesque scenes and now he awaited her answer.

Glancing at his companion he noted the demure position with her hands neatly folded in her lap and he thought how beautiful she looked. A beauty which was non the less deadly when combined with the fans; one of which was held comfortably in her manicured fingers. As beautiful and deadly as he was, together they would be formidable and strong enough to keep secure the Western Lands. But aside from all her obvious attrubutes and qualities, she was a breath of fresh air to him; literally and he'd found he also enjoyed her personality.

She was kind as well, with a sense of humour and yet knew when to be quiet; all in all, a perfect mate for him. The fact that he knew that she had admired him for quite some time added to her appeal. Now he waited and to his well concealed horror, smelt tears. His concern was short lived however as Kagura turned her happy ruby eyes on him and launched herself to hang around his neck, kissing him heartily.

Sesshoumaru was taken completely by surprise by her actions; yet in hindsight he should not have been, trust Kagura to not accept him in the conventional way of their time by peeking over the top of the fan and giving him a chaste kiss with a whispered yes. When he got his breath back from Kagura's kiss and choke hold of his neck; he found that she was sitting quite comfortably in his lap, with no intention of getting up. Sesshoumaru decided to tease her a little.

"I presume that you have no longer got any concerns about This Sesshoumaru; Kagura?"

"What concerns would This Kagura have, about her Lord Sesshoumaru?" Kagura was ginning at him and his slightly affronted look; but she took the sting of the tease away with another laughing kiss; her eyes so full of love that he smiled back at her, relaxing.

"I refer to your prior concerns about my masculinity, on the day I told you I would not take the shards from you; _if _you remember." He smirked at his Lady.

"Oh I remember _very_ well My Lord; but no, I have no concerns now. Are you perhaps forgetting that you do not wear silk, when you take on your true transformation? From my _own_ observations, I have no need to concern myself further about whether or not you are a _true _male." She had now put her fan opened to her face and was peering at him over the top; her glorious eyes dancing in joyful glee at the response she had garnered. Sesshoumaru had blushed right across his cheeks and was actually discomposed at her answer.

_'Oh yes.'_ Kagura thought; _'I've got him.' _And because he still had nothing to say, she knew she would not be swamped by his superiority complex and could make a success of a mating with this stoic and infuriating individual. Her heart swelled with love for him and she once again demanded his attention, by kissing him senseless. This time he joined her fully and they were both breathless by the time they walked back inside; arm in arm and with matching flushed faces.

Sesshoumaru escorted Kagura back to her rooms, stopping en route by Inuyasha's suite. He pulled the shoji screens aside and walked in silently to stand over his brother, noticing that Inuyasha's youki did not alert the boy to the closeness of the potential danger he posed. That meant that the hanyou felt safe in his sleep and that fact was pleasing to Sesshoumaru. He watched with no little relief, when Kagura went over to the sleeping boy and knelt down to move the hair from his face and leave a kiss on his forehead.

As Inuyasha turned over, he automatically put his thumb in his mouth until he settled again; when it slipped out. Sesshoumaru couldn't help the sigh that escaped him.

"Are you still willing to take on all of my extra responsibilities, as well as being the Lady of the Western Lands?"

"Sesshoumaru, this responsibility of yours is now mine; but as I said and meant, I _owe_ Inuyasha. My life, my freedom, my future with you; I would have none of this without the defeat of Naraku and Inuyasha's wish for us. If the price to pay is to help look after him, I will _gladly_ pay it. He is the one who lost everything and now is lost in himself and _**no one**_ will hurt him again, if I have any say in it."

"Yes; I heard you tell him to inform you, if I was _mean_ to him again." Sesshoumaru was gratified; if not a little surprised, at the fervent declaration that was full of emotion from his mate to be. He put his arm about her shoulders and wiped her cheeks free of the tears that had fallen in honour of his little brother; finding his own throat choke as he too, thought about what she said and looked down at Inuyasha. Then he led her out of the room and to her own apartment, leaving her in the care of her maids with a bow and a kiss to her hand making the maids twitter in excitement. So their Lord now had found his Lady; this was a cause for great rejoicing.

The celebrations started the very next morning as the servants made their congratulations known in their own discreet ways and with the hugs and kisses for both of them from the children who were informed of the engagement at breakfast. Kaede too, rejoiced for them and for Inuyasha as well, she had heard Kagura's heartfelt words and knew that Inuyasha would be safe, no matter what. Sesshoumaru was now very busy, he had to be ever the diplomat and his taking of a mate could not be a private matter. As Lord of the West he had to make the announcements and invite the dignitaries to a celebratory Mating Feast.

He had not originally wanted any outsiders to know of Inuyasha's problem, but as the week went on with no change; he had no choice, he could not hide his brother away for any longer. All the servants knew by now and took the young hanyou in their stride, treating him like the child he seemed with kindness. Any who would not accept Inuyasha had been dismissed, not that there were many. Most were already used to Rin.

Kaede was now asked to stay until _after_ the banquet when Kagura would be freed to sit with Inuyasha at his bedtime. She was already sitting in with the Miko and Inuyasha was accepting of the Wind Youkai. Kaede was satisfied and was looking forward to getting back to her own routine; she had no complaints about her treatment in the Great Palace, but she preferred the simpler lifestyle of her home. She also hoped to be able to give some more concrete news to Miroko, Sango and Shippou about their friend's condition.

Kaede was just enjoying some tea when she heard Inuyasha shouting and crying from somewhere else in the Palace and along with servants and everyone else she headed off in the direction of the fuss.

TBC


	9. Examination

Ch 9 Examination

The wailings coming from the hanyou, were not indicative of injury or pain; the experienced Miko thought. It sounded more like a temper tantrum; but bordering on distress, rather than rage. Everybody seemed to converge on the spot where Inuyasha was sitting on the floor; trying to stop himself being pulled along by a rather large and dour Eagle Youkai. The eagle had Inuyasha by the arm and was nearly dragging it out of it's socket in his attempt to get the boy to stand up and go along with him.

"Foolish hanyou, your brother requires me to examine you and I need you to be lying down to do so; now come with me."

"Noooo, nooo. Sessoru, Sessoruuuuu." The wails were getting louder.

"Such ridiculous behaviour. Stop acting like a spoiled brat my boy and do as you are told, or I shall see to it that you are beaten for wasting my time." The voice was severe and the youkai was frightening Inuyasha; who kept up with his _'nooos' _at the top of his voice. On seeing all the other people who had come in response to the loud ruckus, the eagle dropped Inuyasha's arm and watched him dispassionately; as he crawled over to the wall and sat with his knees to his chest, with his head down on top of them. The noise level dropped dramatically and fell even more when Sesshoumaru arrived.

His Lordship dismissed the servants leaving Kaede and Kagura alone, to go and console the whimpering Inuyasha; while he looked to the eagle for an explanation of the scene. The Eagle looked down his long nose at Sesshoumaru.

"You wished me to _study_ this hanyou brother of yours Sesshoumaru? It seems that your great father sired a weak, silly pup who you have since spoiled; if he gets his own way all the time. My first impression would be to give him a good thrashing and teach him better manners."

"It has been many years since you have been received in the Western Lands is it not Setsuzentaru? I believe the last time I saw you was _before_ father went to fight the dragon."

"It must be so; I prefer my high and isolated places to think and meditate. The things so far below my eyrie, I do not find of much interest and I rarely concern myself with them."

"Perhaps then, you may consider that things are not always what they seem."

"Of course. Only a fool takes things at their face value."

"Such is the situation with my brother, Lord Setsuzentaru,"

"Then you had better explain, if you wish for my help Sesshoumaru and let the women deal with that spoiled brat until we are done." Setsuzentaru walked proudly and ahead of Lord Sesshoumaru, as befitted his immense age and wisdom. It did not take long to aquaint him with the bare facts of Inuyasha's life; from birth, up to the present and he made no comment until Sesshoumaru finished speaking.

"So, it is not your _brother_ who deserved a thrashing, _is it_ Sesshoumaru? If your father were still around and you did any of the things you say you've done; he'd have had _your _hide. Your father was a kind and generous sole, but he was a good father and a strict disciplinarian; he'd not have stood your behaviour for a single moment, in fact he would have been most disappointed in you. Although, he would be very proud of you now, as you have taken the initiative to make amends."

Setsuzentaru could only get away with speaking to Sesshoumaru like this because he was an old friend of his father and was respected as such. He, Bokusenou, Totousai and perhaps a handful of others that the Taiyoukai knew; were elderly when the Inu no Taisho was a pup and so in comparison to them, Sesshoumaru was _'still wet behind the ears.'_

"Too much power, far too soon; but, you have done well in all else, these lands thrive and now your own household can do the same. Perhaps you _are _learning wisdom after all." This time Sesshoumaru could hear the hint of humour in the words. "Take me back to the chick and let me see what is the matter." The Eagle knew exactly where Inuyasha was of course; but this time he gave the honour to Sesshoumaru, in taking precedence ahead of himself.

Inuyasha hadn't moved in all the time that Sesshoumaru was gone, he was still sitting against the wall and Kaede and Kagura were trying hard not to laugh at all the grumbling noises that were coming from him. They could pick up odd words mainly _'Sessoru', 'norty'_ and more growls. Looking over the bowed head the two women were smiling at each other; The brother and the 'Bad Bird Man' were in for a serious telling off when they returned; from the huffing Inuyasha.

Soon Sesshoumaru was kneeling in front of his younger brother; he too had heard the angry rumblings emanating from Inuyasha and would have smiled himself, but he needed answers.

"Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru received no answer from his brother so he decided on more authority. "Inuyasha, you will explain your rude behaviour towards someone much older than you; who is deserving of your respect."

"Who dat? Inasa _not_ rude. Mama is sad if I's rude."

"Yes, your Mama _would_ be sad and she would feel ashamed of you. Lord Setsuzentaru is here because I want him to look at you." Sesshoumaru said quite severely; thinking that his short homily was getting through to his brother.

"I not know dat. I NOT KNOW. Las time Sessoru smack me very hard an hurt my's bottom, tell Inasa him 'not sit for week' an say Inasa 'not go wiv stainger' an stainger say, Inasa 'come' or is goin to beat me. I NOT KNOW." The boy wailed and then the long built up tears came, making Sesshoumaru feel really guilty; now that his brother had explained his dilemma. But before anyone could move to comfort Inuyasha, Setsuzentaru had reached him; his voice was surprisingly gentle when he spoke;

"Inuyasha, I am a friend of your Papa and I am sorry I frightened you. I should not have tried to take you away, without Sesshoumaru telling you about me; should I?"

"No, I's not know you; I's not want 'nuver big smacks. Sessoru hurts." Inuyasha was gulping his sobs, trying to get his words out and wiping his sleeve across his eyes and nose.

"You were quite right to be obedient to your brother and no one is going to punish you; I promise. Now will you settle down if you sit in Sesshoumaru's lap and let me take a look at you; I am a doctor and I won't do anything you don't want me to do, is that alright? If you want to go to sleep, Sesshoumaru won't mind either." The Eagle had changed his tack immediately, after having watched Inuyasha while he spoke with his brother; his diagnostic skills in play immediately.

As Inuyasha sat curled up comfortably on his brother's lap; Sesshoumaru thought on how easy it had seemed for the proud and strong Eagle to apologise to what amounted to a small child. He realised there was much he could learn still, the apology had not demeaned the youkai or made him less of a Lord, his aura had not wavered or lessened in any degree. It had cost him nothing and yet it gained him immediate trust, certainly there were lessons there.

"I am secure in the knowledge of who I am; Lord Sesshoumaru and an apology, or any other words that need to be said, be they praise or censure, do not make the speaker diminish in any way; unless they are forced from him." The Eagle Youkai chuckled at the surprised look on the Inu-Yokai's face. "How did I know what you were thinking? I have dealt with countless generations of obstinate chicks and proud fledglings my boy. You have no secrets from me, beloved child of my old friend."

The two women were still kneeling side by side and as no one required that they depart, they stayed out of interest; wanting to learn if there was any way in which they could help the hanyou, who they had both come to love. At the moment he was cuddled into Sesshoumaru with a wary eye on Setsuzentaru who was at the moment checking his limbs and reflexes and seeing the responses of his eyes when light from a candle was shone into them.

Having satisfied that there was no physical malady to be seen, the eagle passed his hand surreptitiosly under Inuyasha's nose; releasing a gentle vapour from a crystal that he had broken and very soon the hanyou became sleepy. Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow at the faint scent that reached him, delicate but somewhat threatening.

"I need the child asleep to find the answers to your questions, he will come to no harm so you may wish to lay him on a bed now."

"I will support him, if it will not hinder you. His weight is of no consequence to me." Sesshoumaru felt loathe to release Inuyasha, the pup had been very upset and it had tugged at his own newly found heartstrings; besides he was now completely vulnerable and Sesshoumaru felt the instinctive need to protect that which was in his care. It was also satisfying to know he had been able to calm his brother down and that Inuyasha had been happy to come to him.

"Very well, but I must insist on no interference once I start; no matter what happens."

"You have my word." Sesshoumaru, Kagura and Kaede then watched with apprehension, as Setsuzentaru placed his large hands on either side of Inuyasha's head. He spread his fingers to cover as much area as he could; while his far seeing eyes burned with great intensity, as if to focus deeply into the hanyou's mind. Sesshoumaru was aware of great energy flowing from the eagle and yet Inuyasha remained peacefully asleep, with the back of his head and body supported by his brother's chest and torso.

He was also aware that Setsuzentaru could not see him, even with his eyes open; as he was looking intently at Inuyasha's very being; but Sesshoumaru knew that the blatent emotions that were swirling in the eagle's eyes were not his own, they were Inuyasha's. They were Inuyasha's tears, confusion,despair and bewilderment that he could see; just as clearly as if it were Inuyasha himself who was looking at him. Not once however, did happiness or joy shine through and Sesshoumaru realised that he had only seen those feelings in the eyes of the very young hanyou and even then, all too briefly.

The Taiyouikai felt as if he were intruding on Inuyasha's private grief, as if he were seeing things that his brother would rather have kept hidden and in a way he was. But Inuyasha had almost always had to suffer alone, with no one to guide or comfort him since his mother died. It was no wonder that the pup was not good with the finer feelings of anyone else; when he could barely cope with or comfort his own. Most of Inuyasha's life had been spent in hiding from people; human and youkai who would harm him physically and deride him emotionally.

Over an hour passed in virtual silence, before there was another energy increase and Setsuzentaru started to come back to himself. Sesshoumaru saw the eagle's eyes return to their own normal state and then he released his grip on Inuyasha's head. Respectfully, the three observers waited on the eagle to speak when he was recovered and when he had had time to decipher the things he had learned from his study of Inuyasha's psyche.

Setsuzentaru accepted graciously some of the refreshments that were served and soon he was prepared to speak to Sesshoumaru; but he left it to the Youkai Lord to dismiss the two women if he wanted. Sesshoumaru didn't, he felt that Inuyasha might need them all to understand him. The eagle watched the youkai as he carefully adjusted his grip on Inuyasha; making the boy more comfortable and he noted, increasing the youkai's possessive hold.

"Before I explain my discoveries of this boy's mind, I have to know what you will do with your knowledge. Do you intend to use it to intimidate or subdue the child to your will? If you have any intentions to cause further harm to this, your brother and the second son of your esteemed father; I shall take my leave now and out of honour for your father, I will take the chick with me." Setsuzentaru was not making an idle threat; he had hidden and latent powers of his own, not counting some considerable strength.

Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered red as his youki flared at the threat of Inuyasha being taken away from him. His arms tightened around his brother and a low growl was heard as Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha to him closely. Setsuzentaru looked pleased with the result he had achieved and he chuckled; even starting to laugh, when he noticed that Sesshoumaru had realised that he had been provoked into the display deliberately.

"I have never needed help to know what Inuyasha is thinking; Setsuzentaru, nor how to make his life a misery. He will however come to no further harm; from This Sesshoumaru."

"That is good enough for me Sesshoumaru; I will endeavour to give you the facts without embellishment and do not worry about your pup, he will stay asleep."

"This is normal sleep?"

"Normal, but induced and I have another vial whose contents will awaken him. Do not be concerned; I have done this many times." Suddenly all faces turned to the doorway as Jaken could be heard screeching;

"Lord Sesshoumaru, Lord Sesshoumaru, where are you My Lord? Your loyal servant heeds your summons...aahh what are you doing with the hanyou My Lord? Please put him down before you sully yourself."

TBC


	10. Inuyasha's Mind

Ch 10 Inuyasha's Mind

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru's voice was as steel and cut through anything that the imp was bleating about.

"Yes, My...My Lord."

"I did not summon you, now go back to the duties I have set you this week. You have certainly not finished all your tasks and they must be completed."

"But, My Lord...Rin..." Jaken's voice tailed off as he caught the gleam in his master's eye. "Yes My Lord."

"Oh and Jaken, what I do with my brother is no concern of yours. Is that understood?"

"Yes Lord Sesshoumaru." With that Jaken went away and back to the tedious work that Sesshoumaru had set him when he had come home. Boring, but essential secretarial work that was vital and time consuming and should have kept him away from finding out about Inuyasha and bending his master's ears about his brother. Sesshoumaru knew very well who was responsible for the toad creature's disturbance and without raising his voice at all, he called her; knowing that she was close enough to hear.

"Hello Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Rin, you deceived Jaken; you told a lie and in doing so you let yourself and This Sesshoumaru down. Not only that, you took Jaken away from his duties and caused him to interrupt my dealings with Inuyasha and his physician. I wish you to go to your room for the remainder of the afternoon and consider that you could have caused my brother harm by being thoughtless." Then Sesshoumaru turned his face away from the girl, who's tears ran freely down her face; she was not used to being scolded and was rather more used to smiling her way out of trouble.

Sesshoumaru felt bad about upsetting Rin; but he knew that her maids were loving to the girl and she would not lack for company of a sympathetic sort during the time he had allotted for her to stay in her rooms. He also knew that she would not be fully comforted until she gained his forgiveness; but that would have to wait. He was very aware of the eyes of Setsuzentaru watching him;

"Yes, my boy; I have great hopes for the future of the Inu clan and that it is now in good hands. You handled the child well. But to return to _this_ chick now. I have mind searched many hundreds of individuals; many different sorts of beings and they all have certain things in common. So you can trust me when I say, that I understand Inuyasha; even though he is an Inu-Hanyou and I am Eagle Youkai." Setsuzentaru paused awaiting Sesshoumaru's acceptance of his statement and that he would not be challenged on his diagnosis.

"I have complete faith that you understand what you are doing and saying Setsuzentaru; or I would not have asked you to put yourself to such inconvenience." Sesshoumaru ignored the quick look of skepticism that crossed the knowing face of the eagle and went back to regarding his brother.

"There is no physical damage any more, the wounds to the skull and the internal bruising have healed very well; not even an echo of them remains. However, the incense attack proved the catalyst for the boy's current state of mind. Forgive me if my explanation appears simple, it is not meant to insult your intelligence merely to illustrate how I perceive the psyche of any being.

"Everybody has within their mind, areas I see as colours; sometimes these colours overlap, sometimes they are layered in whole or part. Many times they look like clouds in oddly shaped groups. The lighter the colour, the more contented the area of the mind. Usually the conscious mind traverses these colours with little or no effort but the darker areas are harder to move through. All of these areas, light or dark are made up of the memories, thoughts and feelings of the individual; some are more solid than others, for instance happy memories that are repeated, make the area into a more solid colour as it is compounded.

Setsuzentaru paused and stroked Inuyasha's face tenderly before he continued talking.

"In him there is a band of muted colours so pale, that they are almost white; yet they are also scattered with grey pockets. It is here that I have found Inuyasha's conscious mind. But above this narrow band is another layer and this is the one that concerns me. There are no irregular shaped clouds in Inuyasha's mind, no where for him to find a path back from the light band."

Sesshoumaru, Kagura and Kaede waited patiently for further information; but Setsuzentaru seemed lost in thought. Eventually Sesshoumaru called him and asked if he could explain a bit more. Shaking his head, the eagle apologised and said that he was pondering over all he had seen in Inuyasha's mind.

"Your brother, Sesshoumaru is trapped in that narrow band of lighter memories that are his very early childhood. The only way back for him is through an almost solid and deep sheet of the blackest thunder cloud that I have ever seen in someone's mind. There is no break in this cloud; it goes from one side of his mind to the other and is composed as I said before, by memories and his thoughts and feelings; mainly from a fear of being alone and self loathing."

"Surely there must be colour in his mind, he has been happy with his Miko, his mother and his friends; it cannot all be black. Perhaps the colour was not obvious when you looked, do you need to see into him again, I do not mind holding him still." Sesshoumaru felt himself almost babbling and shut his mouth quickly.

"I said the cloud was almost solid, Sesshoumaru; his memories and feelings concerning those you mentioned, are indeed breaks in the black cloud, but they are still grey."

"Why? Why are they not coloured?"

"They are tainted with his beliefs about himself, he truly feels he is an abomination and filthy blooded. He has heard such things all of his life, since he was very small and he believes they are true; so therefore almost all of his memories and feelings, have tainted his thoughts for friendship and love. Then of course, the final layer was darkened further; when the Miko was taken from him. In all honesty I have never seen a mind so bleak of hope, as is your brother's and I do not know whether or not he will ever break through this barrier of his mind; but unless he does, he will stay a four year old forever; he will not grow in age again."

This explanation had put the cap on Sesshoumaru's guilt; he knew that he had done so much himself to instil this feeling of worthlessness, in his little brother and he was finding it hard to deal with. He had turned away and hidden both himself and his sleeping sibling behind the silver screening of his hair and he'd been unable to stop a few tears of his own from falling.

Kagura and Kaede had been speaking softly to each other and Kagura asked how Inuyasha had reached back to his childhood and why would he not grow again in mental age.

"The poison in the incense that initially knocked him out and then the damage to the physical brain, pushed Inuyasha's consciousness down; by suppressing the barrier for a time and so it couldn't affect him. Then he would have anchored on to the lighter and more pleasant area of his brain. But now he is too young to realise, that he could try to breach the barrier back again; he just doesn't know what he needs to do; or even that he needs to do it. He is quite happy as he is and doesn't want to go near the darkness in his mind."

Sesshoumaru heard the questions and answers from the others and knew deep inside himself, that he would always try to help and look after his baby brother; after all, he bore a lot of the responsibility for the dark and despairing cloud, that was now stopping the older boy from resurfacing. A hand passed around his hair and into his personal space as Setsuzentaru broke another crystal beneath Inuyasha's nose to awaken him. It did not take long for the boy to stir and the eagle once again took charge; as he checked Inuyasha's reflexes, to make sure that nothing out of place had happened whilst he slept.

Inuyasha yawned widely and sniffed;

"Why's you cryin Sessoru?"

"Because I was very bad Inuyasha and now I'm paying for it and so are you."

"I's not got no monies, but yous can takes my ball if you like. Don' cry Sessoru, it makes Inasa sad." Inuyasha found himself in a solid embrace again and he shuffled around trying to get free. "You's squasin me's, Sessoru; I's can't breeve." Sesshoumaru smirked; feeling better, when Inuyasha sniffed again. "Rin cryin too; as see got to pay zwell as Inasa and Sessoru?"

"No Inuyasha, she has already paid for her mistake."

"Can I see her, make her better?" Inuyasha ran off when he got the O.K. from his brother and Kagura took his place. Sesshoumaru held on to her tightly as she wisely said nothing and all of them thought long and hard on what they had found out about the hanyou. Finally Kagura stood and became the consumate hostess; as she invited them all to refresh themselves and come for the early evening tea. Sesshoumaru decided he had better check on Rin first and so he walked to where he could hear her and Inuyasha talking.

"I am sorry Lord Sesshoumaru, I didn't think; please forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you Rin; you have learned your lesson, I am sure." _'As have I.' _he added in his mind.

"See all better." Said Inuyasha in a sing-song voice. "Is it tea time Sessoru?" And he grabbed Rin by the hand and they trailed after Sesshoumaru towards the dining hall. Inuyasha was making Rin giggle by stalking Sesshoumaru's tail; although some painful memory warned him that pouncing on it, was _not_ a good idea. Sesshoumaru was well aware of what his brother was doing and it made him smile too. At least if Inuyasha had to stay this age it was better for all of them, than if he had been a true baby.

The meal was a rather subdued affair for the adults, but not for the children. Rin and Inuyasha were giggling and playing staring games at each other and neither noticed the sombre mood of the others. Then once they had gone to bed, Kagura and Sesshoumaru were able to relax and plan for their banquet which would happen the following week. Already Jaken was preparing guest rooms for those who were coming early; some set to arrive the next day. Setsuzentaru was going to stay to observe Inuyasha for the time; to see if he could get any clues that might help them, to bring Inuyasha's true self back.

There was no point in shielding Inuyasha away from anyone now; it would be better to allow the questions and answer honestly, than try to pretend that nothing was wrong and hide the hanyou in a secluded part of the Palace. Sesshoumaru and Kagura always made sure to spend time in play with the younger ones; but one game of hide and seek showed up a potential danger. Sesshoumaru found the pair up in the canopy of the tallest tree on the estate; when he found them, Rin was standing on Inuyasha's crossed knees bouncing and trying to get above the top leaves.

Sesshoumaru took one leap up and grabbed the pair; one under each arm, then landed and walked with them still gripped tightly, to his rooms where he told both of them off, with threats of dire consequences if they ever tried such a stunt again. He explained to Rin that although Inuyasha's body remembered how to jump very high, his mind didn't recognise the danger he had put them in. If she fell, he might not know how to save her. The Youkai Lord came to the conclusion that having a permanantly four year old Inuyasha was going to give him a huge headache.

Rin dragged Inuyasha away by the hand and they decided to plague Jaken instead; the imp had been told to look after the pair before dinner. Jaken was not happy with this arrangement; he was not entirely sure that Inuyasha was genuine, he thought that Lord Sesshoumaru was being taken for a ride by his hanyou brother. Therefore Jaken was keeping a close watch on Inuyasha, waiting for him to slip up; meantime he had to join in with the play. During the week leading up to the banquet, Inuyasha was kept busy; he had to have fittings for his new kimonos and he loved going down to the kitchens and helping out.

The cooks, in addition to their normal cookery; had to indulge the young hanyou when he wanted to make biscuits and other messes. But they didn't mind too much, Inuyasha was quite talented and could be asked to help properly. It seemed that there were _some_ memories that helped him automatically and these could be used. Setsuzentaru was optimistic when this was discovered. Inuyasha's conscious memories were still locked in; but other _subconscious_ things, seemed to be coming more to the fore.

This came to the attention of Sesshoumaru in a most noticeable way. Jaken had been showing some guests around the Palace; as a small group of them had interrupted his 'baby-sitting' of Inuyasha, asking for directions. Jaken had seized the opportunity to escape from the perpetual questions of his Lord's younger brother; eagerly volunteering to be their guide. He had then told Inuyasha to stay put and not leave the room he was in, until Jaken came back for him and the boy had nodded his head agreeing that he would do as he was told.

Almost as soon as Jaken had gone, two tall and handsome youkai came into the room and showed great interest in what Inuyasha was painting. He was happy to show them his 'beautiful' pictures and was busy explaining them, when one knelt down and peered into his face.

"Hello Inuyasha, do you remember us?"

"Yes, you is Sessoru's friends."

"That's right we are. You really think you are four years old again don't you?"

"I _is _four."

"Good, we want to play with you Inuyasha, do you remember?"

"I's not want to play, yous hurts Inasa. Go way." Inuyasha was trying to back away, but the two youkai were flanking him as he cornered himself. The way they smiled was frightening him and bringing back memories he didn't want. "Go way, I's tell Sessoru."

"Sesshoumaru gave you to us to play with, don't you remember? He is not going to stop us, we are his friends. We want to play with you now, you have become such a beautiful boy." By now they had pinned Inuyasha to the wall and one of them was untying the boy's clothing. Inuyasha started to whimper and whine as he twisted, trying to get away. No one was going to help him; he recalled that Sesshoumaru had indeed given him over as a toy and he had no way of knowing that Sesshoumaru had no idea of what these of his 'friends' were really up to, having been deceived himself.

"I told you afor I's not got a tail, stop tutsin me. Go way." Inuyasha was getting distressed; but that just made his tormentors laugh, until they were being clawed and bitten. Inuyasha hadn't transformed; but his claws had grown, as he instinctively prepared his 'Sankon Tessou'. Once again his body had done something he could not do when he really was four. That was how Sesshoumaru found them as he arrived, scant seconds after Inuyasha's attack; having smelt the panic and fear coming from his brother.

Sesshoumaru took in Inuyasha's state of deshabille and his anger rose to be a tangible force in the room, his claws turning green and his eyes red. He deliberately walked forward to the two perpetrators of his brother's assault and slashed across their faces and stomachs with his poison. They needed and deserved no explanation for their deaths and they received none. Sesshoumaru was so hot with anger that he seemed colder and calmer than ever and now he had to deal with his brother who was still staring with huge eyes and dilated pupils; his breathing fast and shallow.

The Youkai Lord excercised his control and went over to Inuyasha; soothing him with calm words as he retied his brother's clothing, making sure he was gentle and didn't alarm him further. When Inuyasha was decent again, Sesshoumaru put his arms around him and gave him a hug holding him tight; his brother was still murmering that he was not a toy. Sesshoumaru was finding it hard to get the pup to stop and so he just held him and tried to reassure him; realising that Inuyasha was in a state of shock.

When Jaken returned ten minutes after the event he was most alarmed when Sesshoumaru turned red eyes on him and growling deeply, told him that if he wanted to live, he had better not be seen for the rest of the week. He had betrayed Sesshoumaru's trust, in failing to protect his younger brother and Sesshoumaru was finding it hard to forgive him at the moment and didn't want any excuses. Kagura took Inuyasha from Sesshoumaru and gave them both some sweetened tea for the shock and she rocked Inuyasha when he finally broke down sobbing. The tears released all his pent up tension and it was not long before he was bouncing back with smiles; as he felt safe again tucked closely next to his brother and his brother's mate.


	11. Jaken's Mistake

Ch 11 Jaken's Mistake

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but feel that he had forgotton something important and it irked him; he prided himself on always having at his fingertips important and relevant information. He and Kagura were to be mated the following day and everything was in order for the event; the banquet followed by four days of seclusion and then on to a new life with his ready made little family. The two younger members of the family knew what to expect and that the newly mated pair would not be around for a few days, but they were not worried; Kaede, Setsuzentaru and other trusted servants would be responsible for their wellbeing.

There had been no further news from Sango on those who attacked Inuyasha; she still thought that they were just a small group of opportunists, who were cashing in on the aftermath of Naraku and playing on the fears of nervous villagers. But so far, they had drawn a blank; but had sent out for further information. Kagura told him to stop worrying over what it was that he had forgotton and just to relax, as they took the children out for play and a picnic. She had thought that it might help Rin and Inuyasha, not to miss the couple so much for the few days; if they were given a lot of their time beforehand, especially Inuyasha who had been a bit clingy after his bad experience.

The afternoon was a great success for all concerned; but especially Sesshoumaru, who gained a great sense of well being watching his family. It seemed to him that he had known Kagura for a lot longer than he had and he realised that she had been thrown in the deep end with his brother and had coped marvellously. The experience had bonded them far more quickly, than a longer traditional courtship could have done. Kagura lightened his heart and he found great pleasure that afternoon, as he watched her take the children on her feather; wheeling higher and higher over the trees as the younger pair laughed, no hint of fear or concern from either of them.

That too was satisfying to him; because it meant that both Rin and Inuyasha who both had a prior claim on his affections and consideration, accepted the Wind Youkai for themselves and there should be no difficulty in her integration in their lives. As they brought their afternoon to a close and sauntered back to the Palace; once again Sesshoumaru felt satisfied, as he and Kagura shared a look of total understanding and contentment. Both Rin and Inuyasha had been tired by the end of the day and relaxed by their baths and soon the adults were left once again with a peaceful evening, their last as solitary souls.

Later that night, Inuyasha woke up; he was thirsty and quite awake as although he was mentally a small child, his body was that of the young adult hanyou who did not require so much rest. Normally when he woke, he would play for some time quietly on his own; with the toys that Sesshoumaru had regained from the boy's former suite, that he'd shared with his mother. As most were made of wood or leather, it took no time at all, for his artisans to repaint or stitch whatever was needed. This had the added bonus of making the toys smell newer just as they were when Inuyasha was first given them.

Inuyasha did not like the dark and all the shadows that loomed out of the corners at him and so he had a few nightlights lit all night to chase the shadows away. He knew he was not to touch the candles and he never did; he knew what dangers fires brought, as he'd seen Sesshoumaru light a big bonfire with a little spark before now. Deciding that his thirst was not going to go away, he got up and slid the shoji door ajar just enough for him to squeeze out and then he went on a hunt for someone to get him a drink. He was feeling very brave, but he saw a small light down the corridor and headed for it.

"Hello fwog." Inuyasha greeted Jaken; unfortunately making him jump and land on his backside with a shriek. Inuyasha moved silently when he walked at night and Jaken had not heard him come in.

"You stupid boy, what are you doing creeping up on me anyway?"

"Inasa's sorry you fell. I's firsty."

"Well go and get a drink."

"Sessoru said I's no loud to go on my's oan." Inuyasha started to whine and all the resentment that Jaken harboured for the boy; from getting him into trouble , surfaced.

"You may be fooling your guilt conscious brother, hanyou; but you don't fool me, you are nothing but _trouble_ for this family."

"Ot Inasa do? I's not trouble." Inuyasha didn't know why Jaken was so cross with him and he didn't understand all the imp had implied; but he could pick up the tone of the accusation.

"You are, you disgusting creature. Everyone wishes that you'd been killed with your wretched mother." The words came out with all Jaken's pent up fury and before he could bite them back. His anger died the moment he saw Inuyasha's face and Jaken knew then and without doubt, that the hanyou had not been deceiving anyone and he felt immense shame. No one could mimic the terrible look of childish heartbreak, that was Inuyasha's face at the moment. Jaken took a step towards him holding out his tiny hand, wishing that he could take back what he had said, but it was far too late and Inuyasha turned and jumped out of the open window.

He ran and ran through the gardens trying to distance himself from the dreadful words, but they would not be outrun; they bounced back and forth throughout his brain and eventually nature took pity on him and he fell, shaking from shock into blissful unconsciousness. He was still shaking when Sesshoumaru gathered him into his arms and sat down with him; waiting for the tremors to stop and for Inuyasha to wake. The night was warm and dry, but Sesshoumaru still wrapped his tail around his brother, because Inuyasha was icy to the touch.

When Inuyasha jumped from the window, Jaken had known that there was only one course of action to be taken and that was to grovel at his master's feet, while he tried to explain. He walked to his master's chambers trying to formulate his words, when Sesshoumaru's voice came softly to him;

"Did Inuyasha find you Jaken?"

"My Lord?"

"He left his room in search of someone. As he did not come here I assumed he needed a servant and therefore he was either hungry or thirsty. You are here now and I am presuming he found you, as he would not have gone too far in the dark and on his own."

"He found me my Lord and...I need to apologise...to you both." Jaken finished in a whisper.

"Explain." The command was deceptively mild, but the result was not. Jaken knew he had to relay his conversation with Inuyasha to Sesshoumaru and he did so; verbatim. The next thing Jaken was aware of was a horrendous growl and his master's red eyes, before he was thrown from the window with tremendous force and against a tree; where he felt and heard various of his bones, crack and break.

Counting himself lucky that he was not yet dead, Jaken knew that there would be no assistance for him; his youkai healing would have to come to the fore if he was to survive and he hoped that nothing would come and eat him, before it did so. Jaken would have plenty of time to feel genuine remorse for his cruel words to his master's brother. Never would he forget the child's face, Jaken was thoughtless and oftentimes stupid, but he was not completely heartless; he had after all, grown fond of Rin.

Kagura met Sesshoumaru as he carried his unaware brother back into the Palace, she took one look at both of them and turned back to call their healer. By the time that Inuyasha was placed back on his bed the healer was ready. She efficiently undressed him and placed him under the sheet and then she checked his reflexes and vital signs. While she did so, Sesshoumaru filled Kagura in on what had happened between Inuyasha and Jaken and what he had done to the Kappa in return. The healer had listened to this as well and shook her head. no wonder that Inuyasha didn't want to come around.

Suddenly Sesshoumaru turned to the bed and spoke;

"Are you feeling better Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru knew that his question was inadequate but he wished to tell Inuyasha that he knew he was awake and he wanted to give the boy the opening to talk to them. Inuyasha's voice was a bit nervous when he replied, his eyes dilated and his breath harsh; but that was not what was surprising;

"Sesshoumaru? I'm sorry, why am I here brother? I didn't mean to come here, I won't bother you; I...I don't remember getting here."

"Inuyasha?"

"Please I'll go now, my mama, she's dead; they killed her and chased me, I'm sorry, I didn't know I came here, I was just running. I must go, they were trying to kill me too, I must find my mama. Mama's dead Sesshoumaru; she's dead, what am I going to do? I must go, I must go." At this point Inuyasha passed out again. Kagura looked down at the unconscious boy with tears glistening on her cheeks.

"How old is he now?" Kagura whispered; it being evident that Inuyasha was now older than four in his mind.

"Eight. I was not there when his mother passed, she had taken him away because she was afraid for his safety; to my shame. I didn't know for several months that he was alone. Kagura, I must be here when he wakes..."

"Of _course_ you must and so must I. If we need to postpone our mating then so be it." She smiled at her love and was rewarded by his blush and the love that shone in his eyes. When Inuyasha woke again, Setsuzentaru was sitting on the bed, having just taken advantage of the hanyou's sleep to take a quick look into his mind. What he saw gave him optimism that Inuyasha was not completely lost in his past; but he would have to say this to Sesshoumaru later. Right now he wished for some answers of his own. Inuyasha was sitting up now; looking around very apprehensively and they could all scent his fear and misery.

Sesshoumaru could barely look at him, to feel so despised and unwanted at such a tender age was oppressing his young brother; it was positively rolling off the boy in waves. Sesshoumaru's own shame was apparent to the older youkai present as he watched his brother's anxiety escalate, he wanted to comfort the boy but he saw fear flash through Inuyasha's eyes whenever he moved; so he stayed far enough away to not seem an immediate threat. Setsuzentaru took charge;

"Inuyasha, do you remember me?"

"I think so, Setsu...something?"

"Well done, do you remember how you came here yet?"

"No, I was being chased, I thought I was running to the forest; not here." His voice was low as it trailed off and he looked through his fringe, at his ferocious older brother.

"What do you remember about the last time I saw you Inuyasha?"

"I used to play on a feather with a little girl and a big dog. I was happy then, but the frog said I should be dead and I ran away; I think. I don't remember. I didn't mean to be any trouble. I don't know where to go now." Inuyasha was trying hard not to cry and Setsuzentaru had a horrid thought.

"Inuyasha, when did your mama die?"

"This afternoon."

"Oh my boy, I'm so sorry and here we are asking lots of silly questions." Setsuzentaru looked across at Sesshoumaru; who came over to his brother.

"I'm very sorry Inuyasha, I didn't realise that it happened so recently; you don't have to run any more, no one will hurt you here."

"Thank you brother, can I go to bed?" Inuyasha was on autopilot and was very confused.

"Of course, I will take you to your room." Sesshoumaru did so and once the boy was re-settled in the bed he had only vacated a couple of hours ago; he went to seek out Setsuzentaru again.

"Do not worry Sesshoumaru, I think that his memories will settle down again; but they are jumbled, do not press him for answers." Setsuzentaru excused himself and so did Kagura. As Sesshoumaru paced the corridors he was strangely saddened; Inuyasha didn't seem to remember completely, the happy playtimes that they recently shared. He did not have long to ponder however, he could hear the heart broken cries of the bereft hanyou.

For Inuyasha, his mother had just died and he'd had no time to grieve as he felt he'd been running for his life for hours on end as he relived his vivid memories. But now , alone in his room he could let go. Sesshoumaru went and held him as he wept, determined to be the tender brother that Inuyasha needed right now and hoping to put right, the wrong that Inuyasha had suffered the first time.

TBC


	12. Uncertainties

Ch 12 Uncertainties

Inuyasha felt safe. His youkai didn't feel threatened and so allowed him to come slowly to his senses. He was aware of being held tightly in strong gentle arms and hearing the steady soothing heartbeat under his head; smelling the comforting and familiar scent as he turned his face to nuzzle into his mother's breast. He awoke fully when he realised that instead of the pillowy softness he'd been expecting; he was trying to bury his nose into a harder, firmer and definately masculine chest that of course, belonged to Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha stared at the slightly amused Sesshoumaru, with huge golden eyes that looked like those of a rabbit caught in a snare. Sessshoumaru felt another wave of sadness, as he saw the fear that also flashed in those eyes; but he understood the reason why. Normally when Inuyasha had seen the ghost of a smile before; on the Youkai's face, it preceded a lot of pain for the hanyou. Inuyasha jumped off his brother to stand away from him; his eyes never leaving those of Sesshoumaru and he walked slowly backwards towards the shoji door. Sesshoumaru kept his face placid and made no movement towards the boy, that could be misconstrued by his brother.

Before Inuyasha could reach behind to open the door however, it was slid aside by Kagura.She took in the situation at a glance and as she could also sense the fear that was swamping the hanyou; she came forward, enveloping Inuyasha in a strong hug. Kagura found it much easier than Sesshoumaru did, to see through the nearly adult Inuyasha; to the small eight year old pup, that he was in his mind. But Inuyasha stayed rigid in her embrace; not taking his eyes away from his brother. Kagura laughed gently; hoping to ease the tension that she could feel in her, soon to be, brother-in-law's body.

"You remember who I am, don't you Inuyasha?" Finally he turned to look at her.

"Yes, you're Older Brother's mate...Kagura. You...you've got a feather."

"That's right and do you remember what I said you should do, if your brother is being a big meanie?"

"He isn't being mean."

"Then why are you feeling sad, scared and ready to escape?" She didn't miss the quick glance he gave back over to Sesshoumaru. "He is not going to hurt you Inuyasha; your brother looked after you tonight. Kagura noticed the brilliant shiny eyes, brimming with tears and she sighed as he tried hard not to blink and let them fall. He succeeded in keeping his composure, with the self control that his body had learn't over the years. Weeping was a sign of weakness and he could not afford to be seen as weak.

Besides, hadn't Sesshoumaru taught him harshly that true youkai never cry? Inuyasha remembered the vicious twists to his ears, the slaps and beatings; not to mention the cruel words that his brother had said or whispered in his ears. The more he'd cried, the worse it had got; until he realised Sesshoumaru expected him to keep silent if he was ill treated; _'just as a true youkai should' _his brother had said. When his mother had found out, she had left forever with him; but the lesson had already been thoroughly learned.

Inuyasha though _was_ scared, his brother had not yet punished him for the earlier tears he'd witnessed; but he felt safe with Kagura for the moment. so he allowed her to take him over to the garden doors and sit with her on the step. She took his hands in her own and rubbed them gently with her thumbs; noting his bowed head.

"Will it help you to feel better if you tell me what happened to your Mama?" Kagura waited, hearing him swallowing compulsively as he controlled his emotion. She looked at Sesshoumaru over the bent head of his brother; he stayed where he was, knowing that Inuyasha was insecure with him too close. Then Inuyasha started to talk, quietly but determined; although his voice was just above a whisper, he could easily be heard by his youkai companions.

"Mama got sick, then she started to cough and cough for ages; she couldn't eat even if I caught fish. I made her medicine and I tried to get help but no one would come. Then one day she coughed and there was blood and she got thinner and thinner. I tried to make her eat; I really did, I tried and tried. I made soup and tea but she only drank a bit. Then I was asleep with her and when I woke up, I couldn't hear her heart and she had gone cold. I made a fire to warm her but she didn't move anymore.

"The headman came when I was howling at her to wake and told me to shut up; but I couldn't stop and then they said Mama was dead. They came in and took a lot of her stuff out of the hut and then they set fire to it with her inside. They made me watch and then they started to chase me away with stones and some had axes and swords and then I don't remember and I was here...I don't remember..." His voice trailed off and he turned away, trying desperately to gain control once again. Kagura's heart ached for the poor child he was.

"You are allowed to cry Inuyasha, your mother was worth your tears." She frowned when she saw him shake his head then look up proudly, to say to her;

"Youkai don't cry, it is weak and dishonourable. Brother would be most disappointed in me if I cried. I was weak last night and I know he is going to punish me for it; I won't cry again." Inuyasha then stood and walked into the garden while Kagura raised a questioning eyebrow at her mate to be. Sesshoumau came over to her and wrapped his arms around her, gazing in concern after his brother.

"I was far too harsh on him when he was just a whelp; I was jealous and angry so much of the time and often only saw Inuyasha as the creature that had deprived me of my father. I took out a lot of my anger on him; in fact whenever I came across him, he would be made to pay and suffer. I have never earned Inuyasha's love and yet he gives it still. I want my brother back to normal so that I can at least try to show him I have changed and give him the home he should have had all of his life."

"Go to him now and explain; your pup brother's heart is aching so much and he thinks you mean to punish him."

"Yes, I must reassure him." Sesshoumaru left her with a hug and a kiss, to follow after Inuyasha. Ignoring the flinch Inuyasha could not hide; Sesshoumaru put his arm around his brother's shoulders and waited until the hanyou relaxed a little before he spoke.

"Inuyasha, I know I have hurt you in the past and for that I am sorry. You need have no fear of me now Little Brother, I shall not punish you again. Your mother was a devoted parent to you and she was very brave; you have every right to grieve for her." He waited in vain for a reply, Inuyasha was closed off to him; not rudely, but he was not letting his guard down, he had fallen for Sesshoumaru's tricks before and always regretted doing so. But he let Sesshoumaru guide him back to his room and usher him back to his bed.

Kaede came and tucked him up; thankfully Inuyasha remembered her from his 'younger' days and she stayed with him until once again he slept, exhausted. Kaede had been filled in with the circumstances by Kagura and had a suggestion for them. As long as in the morning Inuyasha was alright, they should go ahead with thier mating and let him settle in the Palace in their absence. He should then feel more safe when he saw Sesshoumaru again. Sessshoumaru went to Setsuzentaru to check out whether or not that was a good idea; to have it confirmed by the Eagle Youkai.

No body would interrupt a newly mated pair in seclusion and Sesshoumaru was now nervous of leaving Inuyasha for the few days that he would be unapproachable. The boy seemed too quiet and subdued to him; even giving that in his mind, his mother had just died. The four year old brother that he remembered would have been screaming the place down for his mother by now and then it came to him, his methods of subduing his brother had been very successful all those years ago. At eight, the boy had become more stoic and shy of company.

In the morning though things seemed different. Inuyasha was still quiet but not miserable; and was as biddable as ever; his mother's influence of good manners, still in obvious effect in comparison to the young male they all remembered. Inuyasha was satisfied with being left with Kaede, Setsuzentaru, Shingi and Rin. All of these he remembered and they did not make him apprehensive. They passed the earlier part of the day in one another's company, Sesshoumaru acutely aware of Inuyasha's constant scrutiny of himself.

Inuyasha was confused, he thought that Kagura and Sesshoumaru were already mated; but his senses and his memories were at odds with each other and there was no one he could think of to advise him. He didn't want to be a bother to anyone; something about disturbing his brother was alarming him. So he kept his own counsel and kept firm control over his feelings; his throat burned and his eyes stung, but no evidence was on his face of his grief. He made it easy for everyone to put the fact he had cause for mourning to the back of their minds; as they were so happy because of the mating feast to come.

If nothing else, the older Inuyasha had always been able to hide his true self; he was a good actor and that skill was another that manifested itself in him when he thought himself eight years old. He seemed to enjoy the company and was able to eat heartily at lunchtime and smile later on as everyone joined in the by now, familiar playtime. Kagura took the children up on the feather and although in reality it had only been the day before; to Inuyasha it seemed years since he'd been taken up aloft and his nervous behaviour around Sesshoumaru's true form, once again was evident.

Nevertheless, they all had a good time and Sesshoumaru was pleased with the progress; despite the fact that Inuyasha had declined to ride him back to the Palace. There was news from Sango about the group of exterminators. They were mercenaries and ruthless; as long as the money was right, they were prepared to kill any youkai; no questions asked. Sesshoumaru determined that after their seclusion time, he and Kagura would go and hunt them down. They were on _his _lands and as such he had the obligation to keep his domain safe and flourishing for all; youkai or human, who lived there and paid him homage. There was no room for any who wrought fear and murder on his subjects.

Sango also sent Miroku and her congratulations to himself and Kagura and they also enquired after Inuyasha and Kaede. They had not been to see their friend because Setsuzentaru had advised against it; until more was known about how long Inuyasha's amnesia would last. It would not do for anything else to confuse him, as to which age he was living. The couple accepted the reasoning and were prepared to wait; albeit anxiously, along with Shippou; as Sesshoumaru had promised that Inuyasha would accompany himself, Kagura and Rin when he resumed his patrols and he would be sure to bring him to visit them.

Soon it was time for the Lord and his new Lady to prepare themselves for their guests and the mating banquet and they departed to go to their respective chambers to avail themselves of the pampering and dressing that the servants had prepared for them. For Sesshoumaru, who had been brought up in the Royal Court; this was not a new luxury and one in which he was very fond, given the opportunity. He had a few trusted servants who had been with him since he was a tiny pup and some had even been assigned to him when they too were pups.

These were the closest 'friends' he had in reality and although friendship was never spoken of between them; they all knew that they had an unbreakable trust and bond. It was these irreplaceable beings who were now happy to be preparing him for his mating feast. They alone were priviliged to joke and make light banter with him, sending him off with many congratulations and wishes for strong pups to be the new Heirs to the West.

For Kagura however the whole experience was new and a bit daunting. There were maids to help her bathe and give her massage, before being dressed and made up with face paint and hair ornaments. But the whole thing was enjoyable once she relaxed and as she said to herself; _'it was going to be easy to get used to this'. _She too found her maids easy to talk to and she got on well with them, as they helped her to relax but eagerly anticipate the coming nights of pleasure that awaited her.

Rin and Inuyasha were of course invited to the banquet, but were not going to stay for the whole time; only long enough to see the splendour of the new couple. They would then retire to their rooms to play until their bedtimes. Sesshoumaru and Kagura were a beautiful couple and no one doubted that the West was in good hands with the new Lady; she was elegant, beautiful and a fitting mate for the Lord.

The feasting was good for adults; but soon Rin and Inuyasha began to fidgit and Kagura with a look to Sesshoumaru, took the pair from the room to their respective chambers. Kagura had one more thing to do before she returned to the mating feast, she knelt in front of them and took one hand of each in her own and looked them straight in the eyes.

"I know that you have both lost your Mama and your Papa; but I want you to know that I love you as if you were my own children and if you want to, you can come to me as you would do your own Mama. Sesshoumaru I know, is your brother Inuyasha; but he is older and wiser should you need him. Now be good and we will see you in a few days." She stood and gave them both a kiss on their foreheads and turned to find Sesshoumaru behind her.

"Kagura is right, you can come to either of us with any concerns you may have. We wish to be approachable to you both." This was mainly for Inuyasha's benefit as Rin already did accept the pair in parental roles. Then he too, kissed their foreheads before escorting his mate back to the feast. Inuyasha went to his room and saw Kaede sitting in a chair waiting for him. He gave her a smile as he got into the futon to sleep; so much had happened and he needed time to work things out in his mind and he wanted to be left alone.

Kaede left him when he seemed to be asleep and went into her own room where she soon nodded off herself. She didn't hear the soft sobbing of the poor child; who only felt safe to give in to his grief for his Mama, when he was sure he was alone. Kagura was kind, but she wasn't his and her scent was different and Sesshoumaru frightened him; even though he was being nice, he could be tricking him. His anguish was intense and he could see no way out; the pain would last forever and once they had started, there was no stopping his tears.

He buried his head in his pillow suffocating his howls so that only the barest sound was heard and he was like that, when his hair turned black and his senses dulled. This brought a fresh storm of grief; his mother _always_ stayed up with him on his human night. She _always_ protected him from his night fears; singing her pup songs to him, until his power returned and he could hear her heart beat and smell her scent once more and know that he was safe.

Never again would this happen and the thought made him panic. He hid himself beneath the covers; after pulling the futon into a corner and tried to make himself as small as possible. By now though, Kaede had heard the sounds coming from Inuyasha's room and she went in to investigate. As she pulled the covers from the trembling boy and saw the problem, she cooed at him and told him not to worry; she would stay with him. No one would harm him; but it was too late for reassurances, he was scared and shaking with tears and fear.

Kaede sat behind him and gently pulled the blankets over him again, as she rested him against her and stroked his hair; until he fell asleep, worn out by his panic and tears. But he did not sleep for long; the sky was still dark and the Palace cloaked in sleep after the revelries when he carefully pulled away from the arms of Kaede and wondered why he was in his brother's Palace.

TBC


	13. On the Run

Ch 13 On the Run

Inuyasha had awoken to a state of confusion; what was he doing here in his brother's Palace? He recognised the room's decor by the nightlights; as one he had as a young whelp, but he had not been here for many years. He turned to see the human nurse, his brother had given him; why had he been sleeping in her arms? Plus, he felt his cheeks; dried tears had left a tight feeling on his skin and his eyes were swollen and sore. So, he had been crying and not very long ago; his back was not painful, nor could he feel any other injury so Sesshoumaru had not whipped or beaten him. Not unless he had healed him as well and that would never happen; Sesshoumaru's punishments always made him hurt for as long as possible.

He decided that he had probably just had a _really_ bad dream this time and then he realised he was human; which meant that his emotions were nearer the surface anyway. It was the most satisfactory answer he could come up with for now. But it left him with another problem to solve. He was human, in his estranged brother's Palace and he had no idea how he had got here or why. Had Sesshoumaru knocked him out somehow and brought him here and for what purpose? He was not in the dungeons or being restrained; in fact it appeared he was meant to be comfortable.

Was this some new form of mental torture that his brother was going to try out on him? Perhaps make him feel comforted and even wanted, only to throw him out again while he laughed and called him worthless and tainted again. Inuyasha grinned at his own irony; it would never work, he would never fall for it. He knew, had it ingrained into him by everyone; human and youkai, he was unworthy of life or any of its benefits and it was everyone's duty to make sure he knew it; every minute of every day. No, playing with his feelings would not work, could not work; he would not let it, he didn't think he could win against it.

Inuyasha knew he had to get away and he hunted for his clothes. After dressing he pushed pillows into his futon under the blankets, to make it look like he was there asleep; which he hoped might buy him a little time when the household woke. Being human was a strict disadvantage when escaping the superb noses of the Inu's around; but he had no choice, he also would not be so able to sniff out danger. Putting some blankets and candles into a bundle made from a spare undershirt which would come in handy wherever he had to go; he slipped out of the window; melting into the night.

Crossing the darkened grounds silently, Inuyasha noticed a small lump lying against a tree and puzzled, he stopped to check it over. He recognized Jaken but didn't know why the toad was outside, but he was shaking in his sleep and Inuyasha spared a small blanket from his stash to spread over the imp. Jaken was not asleep and watched as the dark haired Inuyasha disappeared into the trees; he was strangely touched by the kindly gesture, his healing nearly complete. But he wondered what to do; why was the boy leaving at all, but especially at his vulnerable time?

Unfortunately, Jaken was not yet able to move to let anyone know that Inuyasha was leaving. Inuyasha got quite a respectable distance for a human, further than he'd envisaged. He did not realise that he was in an almost adult body that could cover many more miles than he could when he was really only one hundred and twenty years old. At least his body was no longer as small as it had been, during the long years that he had seemed only about ten to look at. He knew that his youkai blooded body slowed down it's growth rate when he reached ten; thankfully his mother had taught him this before she died, or he might have become worried about his 'stunted' growth.

Inuyasha had learnt a great deal about survival since his mother had passed away so many years ago; he missed her just as much as he always did and truth be told, he still needed her. He was still only a young pup in reality, the equivalent of a human twelve to thirteen year old; but he had had to learn to live with hatred and death as constant companions in his short life. He had bolt holes of various sorts dotted throughout the land; so if one were discovered or was unsuitable for the time of year, he had others to go to.

For some reason, Inuyasha felt lonely for his mother; more than he usually did and he made for the general area in which he had lived and where she was now buried, under the shade of a beautiful tree. The village had long since gone from there; it had been destroyed and completely obliterated by a youkai of tremendous strength. Inuyasha did not know of this at the time as he had been chased away, but when he came back he saw the devastation that had been wrought. He felt no sorrow for them, they had all been mean and of no help when he and more importantly, his mother had needed it the most.

By the time the sun came up and his wave of youki flooded him with his powers again, he had travelled quite far and could now go even faster. On arriving at the place, he first checked that his hollow tree was still firm and unoccupied. It was and the base was still comfortable for a bed, the leaves and bracken clean. The tree was not a safe hole; but it was shelter and if trouble came he could climb on the inside and get out at the top and make for the canopy of the forest where he was perfectly at home. Once his sleeping place was sorted out and made a bit more comfortable with the blankets and stash of candles, Inuyasha went back to the marker where he had buried his mother's ashes.

He took her some lilies that were growing in a field nearby and placed them in front of the marker; then traced his claw over the inscription. Suddenly and to his own great surprise he was heaving great sobs of loneliness and loss; wishing that his mother was once again alive and able to hold him to her and take away his fears and pain. But once the storm had passed, he jumped into the branches of the tree to reflect; but he could make no more head or tail of recent events than he could fly. Soon he dozed off with the gentle breezes ruffling his hair; feeling like his mother's caresses.

As morning dawned over the Western Palace not many people were around. Their Lord was in seclusion and everyone had been given a holiday; everyone but the guards of course, Even in times of peace or celebration; Sesshoumaru was too experienced a Lord to leave the Palace unguarded. One such guard was approached by Jaken with a blanket around his shoulders and asking to be taken to Shingi. Shingi was surprised to see the imp; he had heard of their Lord's displeasure with him and had seen the small body under the tree, knowing better than to approach someone that Sesshoumaru had disciplined.

To his surprise, someone had taken pity on the imp; the blanket that Jaken was clinging too as if it were a precious commodity, had not been with him before. Shingi watched as he approached slowly, the healing was nearly complete; the older the youkai, the longer that it took. Besides, Shingi knew that Jaken would be feeling miserable because Sesshoumaru had really harmed the creature this time and the old retainer hated _any_ sign of displeasure from his master; let alone all he had suffered this time.

Shingi allowed the old youkai his dignity by waiting for him and not going to meet him and eventually Jaken was able to speak; telling the guard about his encounter with Inuyasha during the night. This was not good; Sesshoumaru could not be disturbed, so that left Setsuzentaru and himself who had been left in charge of the hanyou's health. Leaving Jaken with the other guard and advising him to take him to the kitchens to get warm and have some food and drink, Shingi swiftly found the Eagle and informed him of the news.

The two youkai entered Inuyasha's quarters to find Kaede preparing fresh tea and with kindness told her of Jaken's tale. Kaede realised immediately that Inuyasha had fooled her and pulled the bedding apart to show the trick. By now both youkai were sniffing and working out the clues that Inuyasha had left behind as Kaede confirmed he had been very distressed and human the night before. They could scent the stale salt smell for themselves, but something puzzled Setsuzentaru; the indications were that the child had thought things through quite quickly and with far less timidity than he had behaved on the former day.

That coupled with Jaken's account, indicated that Inuyasha had aged again in his mind but not yet to his normal age. Noting that blankets and candles had been taken, he knew that Inuyasha intended to leave the Palace permanantly and find a cave or some such to live in. He made his observations to Shingi who seemed to be relieved;

"We cannot disturb his Lordship, but _I_ can go and watch over the boy myself and make sure he comes to no harm."

"You can track him?" Enquired Setsuzentaru.

"Of course, but I already know where he will be. When he was alone the first time, Lord Sesshoumaru always made sure he was monitered; almost from the moment his mother died."

"Did the pup know this?"

"No. He always thought himself alone and anyway all Lord Sesshoumaru did, was make sure that the whelp lived and was protected at a distance from things that would kill him; until he could hunt and defend himself. We who were entrusted with this assignment, know all the boy's hideouts; he at this moment at least, is unaware of our knowledge..."

"You mean Lord Sesshoumaru had watch kept over Inuyasha for all the years he was alone?" Kaede interrupted.

"Yes, although our Lord was not a caring brother as such; I remember that there were many times that he took out his anger, sometimes to excess, on the pup. But still the child survived...he would not have done, had he not received his brother's protection"

"How much better it would have been, had he had it here though." Kaede answered wryly.

"Of that there can be no doubt Lady; but I think he tries to make amends now. We should bring him back before his brother misses him."

"Perhaps so Shingi." pondered Setsuzentaru. "Perhaps not. If he has aged again, we will only frighten him and make him run if we confront him and suggest he returns. It would be best to wait for Sesshoumaru and just watch and protect the pup for now. He will come to no harm in the wild, he has lived it for long enough."

"I will go then; he knows me, although I will keep out of sight as I always used to; is that right?" Having received the affirmative from the Eagle, Shingi left and almost ran into Jaken. The imp was still holding on to the blanket and asked to speak with both of the youkai.

"I would like to go with you, I can offer to stay with the young Lord for company and protection."

"You've always hated and despised Inuyasha, Jaken; you only wish to try and regain Lord Sesshoumaru's good graces." Shingi looked with distaste on the imp.

"Or do you wish to atone for your wrongdoing?" Setsuzentaru looking astutely at Jaken and noting the tight, almost compulsive clutch on the blanket, the pyschologist in him recognised the signs of true regret and waited for his answer.

"I have always despised the half-breed, he always seemed unworthy; but he was kind to me when he gave me the blanket, he probably felt he could ill afford. He did not merely throw it at me, as perhaps anyone else might have done; but he tucked it around me gently, thinking me cold in my sleep."

"That makes you grateful to him? Enough to change your perspective of a hanyou?" Shingi was not quite convinced.

"Inuyasha knew it was me and he would have known that I was there because of Lord Sesshoumaru's displeasure with me and yet he risked his own punishment, by leaving me a blanket for comfort which had his scent over it. He knows as well as any of us, that the Lord does not like any interference in his decrees; I was wrong about him, that's all and I will allow no harm to come to him, if I can protect him at all."

Setsuzentaru and Shingi looked at each other over Jaken's head and silently agreed between them, that the imp could accompany him; as long as he was able to hold on to Shingi's own transformed state. The Inu guard would not be held back from his search by Lord Sesshoumaru's lackey. Shingi jumped the wall with ease and was soon off to where he knew Inuyasha always went first, when he was uneasy in his heart; his mother's grave. Sure enough, the scent of tears and the flowers were still fresh. Having assertained that Inuyasha was indeed still in the area; Shingi left and went to the old places where in the past, he had kept watch on the young hanyou pup.

"Did he bring his mother all this way with no help? Was there no where nearer the village they lived in to bury her?" Jaken enquired, more to himself than really expecting an answer. But he got one anyway. Shingi replied;

"Lord Sesshoumaru decimated the village for the _'crimes against his family in the neglect and maltreatment of the pup and his mother'_ ". Shingi pretended he did not hear the word _'hypocrite'_ fall from Jaken's lips as he had felt the same. Shingi knew the tree in which Inuyasha was hiding and had stashed his hoard of candles and blankets and he made sure to keep away from it. If the hanyou caught his scent, he would flee in alarm.

Meanwhile, once Inuyasha had rested from his night of escaping while human; he decided to go to a cave that he had used before, for a more permanant stay. He would need food and shelter, a place of relative safety to stay for a while where he could store some food; plus he craved company and even if he could not go amongst people, he could watch them from a distance and not feel so alone.

Inuyasha had used this cave many times, it had a smaller but quite deep recess at the back; where he could have adequate shelter from the harsher winds and rains that could sometimes reach the rest of the interior. Deciding to fish first, Inuyasha scouted out the nearby river for any humans that might also be using it and finding none; he stripped off, first to wash his clothes and then while they dried, to bathe. Then laying on a rock to dry naturally and to let the fish settle again, he fell asleep in the warm sun.

Shingi and Jaken watched once again as the boy caught fish and gathered wood for a fire, then dressed and made his way back to his cave to start his meal. The guard made sure that the perimeter of Inuyasha's area was safe before he too, settled down for the watch. The night passed peacefully and so did the next few days, the weather was very pleasant and so far there were no problems with the humans; although Shingi had heard some comments to the effect that Inuyasha had been noticed, as the pup watched the goings on of village life from the trees.

One day Shingi felt a huge youkai presence and recognised it as Sesshoumaru, so he went towards his Lord who was at the gravesite of Izayoi and was looking for clues to his brother's whereabouts. While Shingi left, Jaken decided it was time to make his presence known to Inuyasha and he walked slowly to the entrance of the cave where he could see the hanyou sitting; making some form of carving with his claws and a piece of driftwood.

"Inuyasha?" At the sound of the imp's voice, Inuyasha looked up and then he looked around for his brother; Jaken always followed where his Master went.

"Yeah Jaken, where is my brother then, what does he have planned for me now eh?"

"I do not know Lord Inuyasha, I cannot speak for Lord Sesshoumaru."

"_Lord_ Inuyasha? Jaken you hate my guts so what's with all the formal stuff eh?"

"You were kind to me when I am in disgrace, you risked punishment for me."

"So, that's nothing new; at least if he beats me this time, he's got a reason."

"I will protect you with my life Lord Inuyasha."

"Yeah, yeah, don't overdo it imp; He'll find me soon enough, he's in the area."

"Jaken" Sesshoumaru called.

TBC


	14. A Matter of Trust

Ch 14 A Matter of Trust

"Leave him be Sesshoumaru, he's been through enough. Everyone knows you're the biggest youkai around here for now, you don't have to prove it to this little guy." Inuyasha's tone sounded strong and assertive but Sesshoumaru could hear the slight fear in and the faint tremor, beneath the words. He also knew that Inuyasha would be expecting to be punished in some way for the show of bravado and defiance; as he had always been in the past. Now Sesshoumaru could see that so many times, if not all of them, his own guilt over his harsh treatment of Inuyasha had made him bitterly angry; which he had then taken out on his brother again, making a vicious circle that he couldn't break.

How had someone so inherently intelligent as he was, given in to his grief and jealousy to torment a child; who was innocent of any blame? It was never the show of blood superiority or strength that he had invented. Who would honestly have believed that lie; the _child_ Inuyasha could not have changed his blood by being beaten and would never have proved stronger than his brother. Sesshoumaru also realised that the West would be stronger with _both_ of the father's sons and he could honestly say that he wanted his brother _as_ a brother. He also needed to get Inuyasha to come back with them and to make him talk to find out how old he was now and at what stage of his life.

Sesshoumaru did not recognise that he was still being quite selfish; although he genuinely wanted to make amends with Inuyasha, it was always for his own reasons.

"Jaken" Sesshoumaru said again, which in itself was unheard of. But he assumed that Inuyasha was preventing the imp from leaving.

"You don't have to go Jaken, he threw you away didn't he?"

"No Master Inuyasha, I have to obey my Lord; let me pass."

"Feh, catch me doing anything that bossy boots wants." Inuyasha was definately expecting some come back for that one. He didn't know why he said such things to his brother; but it was his only form of rebellion, the only weapon he had at his disposal to fight the oppresive Sesshoumaru. Jaken for once could see from Inuyasha's side, the fear that the boy was in really, when he mouthed off. Previously he had been with Sesshoumaru and had reviled the hanyou; while his brother took retribution for the rudeness from the whelp's hide. If _he _could tell how afraid the pup was, there was no doubt that Sesshoumaru had always known and for the first time, Jaken had felt ashamed of his Lord.

But Jaken was still his Lord's servant and he left the side of the young hanyou to return to his master. For the first time since Sesshoumaru had grown hot with anger and had thrown him from the window and hard into a tree, Jaken bowed low before his Lord.

"You are redeemed Jaken, you may return. Inuyasha, you too will come back to the Palace; return to my care."

"I won't. I don't know why I was there in the first place or what trick you think you are trying to play now. You don't want me so I'll stay here."

"I have changed Inuyasha, you are under no threat now and I just want you home."

"It's not going to work Sesshoumaru, you can't mess with my mind. I know what you think of me."

"In the past Inuyasha, all in the past.You have a home now." Sesshoumaru's voice was hypnotic and seductive; Inuyasha could hear no rebuke or anger and his senses could not detect a lie, but he had been fooled by his brother before.

"Go away Sesshoumaru...please, there I even asked nicely; I will not be conned again brother." The sneer was clearly present in the way of speech if not on his actual face.

"I understand why you don't trust me Inuyasha and I'm sorry; you have every right, but I am offering you a home and family with my mate." Sesshoumaru watched the pale face of his brother as tears coursed down the whelp's cheeks and he carefully wiped them away with his fingers. "Please don't cry Inuyasha, not when I am _not _hurting you." His voice was softer and kinder than Inuyasha had ever heard him and the hanyou wanted more than ever to believe his brother; but he pulled away.

"You are such a _cruel _bastard, brother. I've worked you out, you want me to fall for that; you being nice and kind and then sometime when I'm happy, you'll throw me out again. I'm not stupid but, I couldn't take that. That would kill me and you're not gonna do that so just GO AWAY." Inuyasha turned his back on Sesshoumaru who recognised his defeat this time and he walked away.

"I'll come for you again Inuyasha." He said, noting the still shuddering shoulders of his brother and making sure his words didn't sound like a threat. "Jaken, I believe I overheard you say that you would protect my brother with your life such as it is. It will be worth nothing should harm befall Inuyasha; do I make myself clear?"

"Yes My Lord." Jaken stayed put as he watched his Lord turn and disappear; then he went over to his Young Lord and tried to pat him comfortingly.

"Why Jaken, why do you all hate me so? Why could he never love me? There is no where I can hide from him, he always finds me again." Inuyasha's tears were very bitter and the imp got a first hand idea of all the pup had gone through, when Sesshoumaru had first haunted his steps.

Sesshoumaru reached his home in a fairly despondent mood, although the sight and presence of Kagura and Rin was always heartening to his spirits. He went to find Setsuzentaru to seek his advice. After recounting all that had happened Sesshoumaru had to wait while the Eagle considered.

"You thought the pup would automatically see things your way Sesshoumaru? Inuyasha is a survivor and at his mental age now, he is well able to live alone. I know that you always had people to guard him at a distance; but emotionally, he is self taught.

"What do I do?"

"Patience, do him no harm and he will come to you; but do not rush him, let him take his own time. It is a great pity that it ever came to this between you."

"I do not know why it did so. I know I was jealous often, but why I used such cruelty once he'd been taken from me and sometimes even before; I do no know. I am not a cruel person by nature; ruthless sometimes, but mainly just. But with Inuyasha, it was as if I just wanted his pain. Yet I know that I loved him too." This was more than Sesshoumaru had ever revealed to anyone before but he felt relieved. The Eagle Youkai was nodding;

"You were left bereaved and with the West to run and to prove yourself. Then you were also left with your brother with no siblings between you. You felt too old to be his brother and too young to feel like his father and yet you grew to love him and to feel you owned him. Inus are notoriously possessive. But love and hate are closely linked, Sesshoumaru and you chose to assert yourself over him by trying to demean and subdue him. It has worked well and now you wish to change things you will have to wait and gain his trust. In his time...not yours. Put his needs before your own for now.

"Oh and Sesshoumaru, do not crowd him; go by yourself to prove your intentions, by all means but...let him come to you." Setsuzentaru sighed as he watched the TaiYoukai walk gracefully away. The self assurance with which Sesshoumaru carried himself, was so indicative of someone who says _'do this'_ and it is done. But Inuyasha was not going to just fall into line for him. The Eagle could only hope it worked out for the best for both boys; sons of an old friend, one of whom he had known from the pup's birth and the other who he was just coming to know.

So Sesshoumaru started to 'visit' Inuyasha, to talk with him and to see how he was faring according to Jaken. He never entered the cave or invaded Inuyasha's personal space except to kiss the boy goodbye each time he left. That this was so blatently different to the behaviour Inuyasha would have been expecting from him, was obvious. It took over a week for the pup not to tense up in expectation of his brother's energy whip; every time he smelt him in the area, let alone see him. But at least Inuyasha hadn't yet run off to try to hide somewhere else.

No one knew Inuyasha as well as his older brother and in the past Sesshoumaru used this knowledge effectively, undermining the hanyou's self esteem and self worth. This was not his purpose now however; he was now willing to put his brother through emotional highs and lows, because the benefits would be worth it. He knew that the kinder words and actions were far more powerful than beatings had been, for breaking his brother's shell and getting him to submit to the inevitable...obedience to Sesshoumaru's will.

The next stage of Sesshoumaru's plan was to bring the occasional gift. He had overheard Inuyasha telling Jaken about his hunting skills and the fact that Inuyasha could catch rabbits and fish but he also enjoyed boar. But he was not strong enough to hunt boar yet, it was too risky and he couldn't afford unneccessary injury by the tusks. That was the all that Sesshoumaru needed to hear and Inuyasha found his brother, next bringing him a small boar; already dressed and cleaned for cooking.

He even stayed to eat with Inuyasha when invited; but he was too wise to overstay his welcome, especially when he could see the confusion in his brother's eyes. The desire to cave in and go with Sesshoumaru was great, but Inuyasha's will to survive and for his self preservation was greater. To go with Sesshoumaru, trusting that things had turned for the better; would mean putting his very soul on the line, Inuyasha would not be able to cope with rejection again. The older youkai knew how much his little brother yearned to be part of the family and soon Sesshoumaru would see to it that Inuyasha would come home where he belonged.

Blankets and cushions were among the first things Sesshoumaru supplied and then there were other gifts of food; treats that Inuyasha could not get for himself, fruits and sweets. A plate and cup for all of them and some utensils, all found their way to the cave. Sometimes it would be candles and even books; Sesshoumaru helping his brother to read the harder words that he had not had the chance to learn since his mother died. This had the effect of bringing the brother's closer together, as Sesshoumaru shared his knowledge with patience and kindness; although neither realised it.

Sesshoumaru found however, his brother's trust hard to win; he had killed it so effectively the first time around but he was not known for losing, he always prevailed in the end. So far he had not brought Rin or Kagura to add their persuasive powers, Setsuzentaru had advised against it for reasons best known to himself and which he kept to himself at the moment; but he had suggested that it was Sesshoumaru alone, who needed to build the bridge.

Inuyasha was quiet and fairly timid; much more like the pup of his early years at the Palace during these visits and Sesshoumaru came to the conclusion that the brash and hard exterior that was normal in the hanyou was all a mask. It was as Midoriko had said, while the boy wasn't being threatened or hurt, the brash bravado was not evident. Sesshoumaru always left him with a kiss on his forehead and now he was allowed to gently caress the boy's head, before he left.

After a month of these 'visits' Inuyasha was much more friendly and open again but he still would not go back with his brother; he was nothing if not stubborn. Sesshoumaru had one more gift for his little brother which he had been saving; until Inuyasha was more receptive to him. In his rooms there was a oblong box made of rosewood and Sesshoumaru ran his hands over the lid with care. Kagura came over to him and asked what was contained in the box; but it took Sesshoumaru a long time to reply, this was as much his history as Inuyasha's and the box contained a painful memory.


	15. Dangerous Situations

Ch 15 Dangerous Situations

While all the too-ing and fro-ing had been going on between the Western Lord and his younger brother, it had not gone unnoticed. The village nearest to the cave was very will aware of the youkai activity; as they regularly spied on the hanyou. They watched him hunt, fish and bathe; they knew when he came to watch the village from the trees, but he was spied on always from a safe distance and with the villagers never trying to make friendly contact. It was bad enough when the hanyou took shelter in the cave; but when it looked like he was assuming residency and with the aid of the Youkai Lord, they were really worried.

The normal course they would have taken, would be to have trashed his cave and thrown stones or shot arrows at him; anything in fact to make him move on, but that was impossible if the boy was patronized by a Youkai Lord. Other measures would have to be taken, ones that would not be traceable back to them. So the village elders hired some itinerant youkai slayers who were known to be travelling from village to village and they started to monitor Inuyasha's movements and to see if there was a pattern to the visits of the full Youkai.

Sesshoumaru was a male who liked discipline and order; so when he was not in the more unpredictable wilds on patrol, he had habits and patterns. He invariably visited his brother every other day in the late afternoon and now Inuyasha had started to look forward to his brother's arrival. He still kept his decision to have his own space and as yet saw no need to change; if Sesshoumaru was playing a cruel game with him, Inuyasha knew that it could take months or longer before the Tai Youkai lost his patience with his plan.

It was not long before the slayers had worked out Sesshoumaru's pattern; nor that indeed of Inuyasha himself, who although nowhere near as organised as his brother; did have some routine. He would go for morning and evening runs, he would hunt and fish at fairly regular intervals; he would bathe or swim and dry off in the afternoon sun most days and he would spend time in the mornings reading from the scrolls that Sesshoumaru supplied. Jaken too would help him with his numbers and calligraphy and show him how to make different coloured inks from the various pigments that could be collected from nature around him.

Inuyasha would then spend the few hours that Jaken left free to him on the morning of his brother's visit, cleaning and making tidy his small home. It was worked out that the best time to attack the hanyou was while he bathed, on the day his brother did not come. Inuyasha bathed alone; without Jaken's presence and used the peaceful time to think. His memories seemed slightly inconsistent to him but he did not know why. Although he had asked his brother how he had been at the Palace, all Sesshoumaru had told him was that he had had a head injury. Inuyasha supposed he'd been attacked and couldn't remember; but he thanked Sesshoumaru for looking after him.

They crept up on the dozing Inuyasha as he lay sunning himself after his swim and had disguised their scent, approaching him from downwind. Inuyasha had put himself in danger by being totally unprotected. The sun felt warm and loving as it caressed his naked skin, giving him a luxurious sense of belonging with his little world; only to turn traitor as it watched as once again, he fell victim to the slayer's incense. This time though, the slayers had recruited a strong spiritual monk to go along with them; replacing the man that Shingi had killed in defense of Inuyasha the first time. The monk quickly placed a binding scroll on Inuyasha, which effectively stopped him from moving or calling for help.

Inuyasha was trying to think and not panic as he was carried away and bundled into a covered cart; the smell of the incense threatening once again to take away his awareness and sink him into oblivion. He felt so vulnerable, they had not even given him his clothes; nor had dressed him in anything else and now he could feel that the cart had started to move, taking him to who knows where.

While all this was happening, Jaken was hurrying back from where he had been hiding all afternoon. He had been suspicious over the relative peace of the village towards Inuyasha and had decided to do a little snooping of his own. He'd heard the rumours of the slayers from the village headman himself and knowing there was no time to be lost; had got back to Inuyasha as fast as he could, only to find that he was too late. The area had been saturated in incense, enough to throw off the most sensitive or powerful nose. Straight away he called for Shingi who was patroling near the cave and after quickly appraising the situation, the guard took of for the Palace.

It seemed like no time had passed at all before Sesshoumaru was there and demanding why this had been allowed to happen, right under the noses of two youkai. How had the slayers even got close to his brother? But he answered his own question, Inuyasha needed some time alone to think and brood just as Sesshoumaru did and he realised that other less friendly eyes had obviously noted that too. Getting well away from the distraction of the smell of incense, Sesshoumaru scouted out the area a few miles around the entire perimeter of the local village and Inuyasha's cave.

These slayers knew how to subdue their prey; but were not as experienced as Sango was and they had not hidden their tracks anywhere near well enough, that Sesshoumaru couldn't follow. He picked them up almost immediately and was soon following; although he was a little concerned about the seeming lack of fight, from his brother. He hoped that it didn't mean that Inuyasha was too overpowered by the incense; possibly to the point of harm. Sesshoumaru had been wondering why they had captured his brother this time and not killed him as they had tried to do before.

In truth the slayers had become greedy; they already had the price of Inuyasha's head in their money bags, from the village but their entrapment of the hanyou served another purpose. When they had been spying on him, it was obvious that Inuyasha was a beautiful creature and there were always people in the market for the more exotic forms of life. One such slave dealer was in the vicinity and Inuyasha had been sold to him as soon as he had been seen; the young and healthy hanyou was to be sent to the brothels that catered for both human and youkai customers, in the bigger cities.

Sesshoumaru knew of these traders and although he found them abhorrent, they had a legitimate trade and he had never interferred in their business before. But this time as he wandered up and down the small cages, with their victims in various stages of awareness; he felt sick and degraded. Here were sold the unwanted youkai and humans of his world, into lives they had no control over; many of whom were orphans or those like Inuyasha had been, thrown out or sold by the people who should have cared for them. The slaver came to him; keeping a more than respectful distance. as he recognised a high ranking youkai.

"Can I interest you in someone here, My Lord; I have some very pretty girls over here, hanyou and human or perhaps this perfectly lovely boy." The man had mistaken Sesshoumaru's interest in the silver hanyou. "This one Sire? He is new and physically stunning; he would make an extremely pretty pet to compliment yourself, with the silver hair and perhaps a jewelled collar, would be all the garment he needs."

"Why does he not move?" Sesshoumaru ignored the man's sales pitch and his innuendo.

"He is bound by a holy seal at the moment My Lord, it only allows movement of the knees and hips so he can rise or kneel only; until it is removed. For display purposes, you understand; he is undamaged." The man was hovering nervously and Sesshoumaru had to swallow his own bile. It had risen when he realised that this could have happened at any time to Inuyasha during his child hood. How many times had the pup had narrow escapes purely because of the watch that Sesshoumaru had put on him? How much safer would he have been, if Sesshoumaru had taken care of him properly in the first place; as his father had wished?

"I shall take them all and then I will never see you or any others who ply your trade on my lands again. If I come across any other unfortunate in your care, or who had been sold by you; anyone entitled to protection from the Western Lord Sesshoumaru, you will die. Do I make myself understood? Now remove the bind on the hanyou."

"Ye...yes My Lord, I understand but I am sorry, you need a monk or somesuch to remove the seal." The slaver looked desperate, but Sesshoumaru had already surmised that the slaver had no holy powers. So, eager to put an end to the situation he took out his gold.

"I shall recompense you this time, because it does not appear that any of these have been subjected to harsh treatment and I expect you to spread my message."

The man nodded and was silent and Sesshoumaru waited as he unlocked the cages. The slaver then collapsed his cages and placed them on his cart; driving away as fast as he could. When he had gone, Sesshoumaru addressed the motley selection; asking if any of them had any home to go to and knowing quite well that the answer was in the negative. He then sighed heavily, looking at them and noting in particular two girls; obviously sisters who were a little bit older than Rin, one was human and one hanyou. The world was a cruel place sometimes for some beings.

Sesshoumaru now however was responsible for these twenty creatures and as he was never one for shirking his duty; even if it _was _an unexpected one, he offered a solution.

"You are all free to go wherever you so wish, the Western Lands will be safer for you now; but if you so desire, I can mark you as under my personal protection. You can then find homes or jobs of your own; or if that is impossible, a position of servitude can be found at the Palace. I leave you free to make your own decisions." Sesshoumaru watched as they came to him wishing for his protective mark which would be visible to both human and youkai; he cut a sharp fine line on the top of each wrist with his claw leaving a permanant scar by the controlled use of his poison. The pain for each was worth it.

One bold girl asked about the silver hanyou who still had not moved or spoken; to be informed that the boy was already under his protection and he then caught the horrified expression on her face. Wondering why she should be so shocked; Sesshoumaru found out that she thought Inuyasha was a runaway slave who had been kept prior to his return to his master and she was fearful for the treatment the boy would receive when he was taken back. The girl actually begged Sesshoumaru not to harm him and give him another chance.

The Youkai Lord turned his golden eyes kindly on the girl, who was obviously smitten with his brother and reassured her that Inuyasha would not be beaten for any misdemeaner. Then he gave attention to his brother; Inuyasha was still kneeling and had not looked up or spoken at all, but the waves of humiliation and shame coming from him were intense. Unfortunately Sesshoumaru could not help him to dress either; as Inuyasha's legs were bound together by the spell and his arms were held behind him. The solution however came quickly as Shingi made his appearance; having followed his Lord and he was soon dispatched to fetch Kaede and Ah-Un.

The other slaves had started to wander off or were just giving Inuyasha privacy while they decided on their futures as far as they could. Sesshoumaru told Inuyasha to kneel down and he put his own outer kimono around the pup's shoulders and tied it in the middle. It was big enough to cover Inuyasha and ensure him some modesty. Then Sesshoumaru knelt down to his brother's level and whispered comforting words into his furry ear. Kaede soon made short work of the binding spell and she and Shingi then took back those of the slaves who wished to serve at the Palace along with Ah-Un. It would be quite a long walk for most, but one they were willing to take.

Once Inuyasha had dressed, Sesshoumaru held him around his waist and lifted him on the youki cloud taking him back to the Palace. He told Inuyasha that he was _**not**_ going back to the cave, until the slayers had been tracked and Inuyasha was in no position to fight the order at the moment. He felt quite ill; the smell of the incense was worrying him, as he seemed to have a memory of the smell from before and he was sick with shame from the treatment he'd endured. He was the only one of all those males and females who had had to stay naked and although he was innocent and naive to a large degree, he knew that he'd also been offered to his own brother as a pleasure slave.

When they got back to the Palace, Inuyasha was so withdrawn that Sesshoumaru was out of ideas and Setsuzentaru was of the opinion to just let him come to terms with what had happened on his own.

TBC


	16. Memory in a Box

Ch 16 Memory in a Box

One week after Sesshoumaru had brought Inuyasha back to his Palace, his brother was still not looking him straight in the eye and was far too quiet and subservient. Not the spitfire he usually was as an adult and not the eager, well behaved, albeit suspicious adolescent he'd been in his mind until his kidnapping. Once, this shadow would have been exactly how Sesshoumaru would have thought he wanted his brother; tamed and knowing his place. But not now, once again he had turned to Setsuzentaru for answers.

"I cannot know for certain Sesshoumaru; the whelp is not talking to, let alone confiding in anyone."

"But you have some ideas." Sesshoumaru stated.

"The boy positively reeks of humiliation and shame, that is your answer and until that goes he will be withdrawn."

"But he has nothing to be ashamed about, foolish pup; he could have done nothing to prevent what happened."

"How quickly you are forgetting Sesshoumaru. At the moment he is newly aware of his grown body in a very human, not youkai way. He was brought up to cover his body modestly, at all times in public and the _**child**_ has not only been naked and vulnerable, but openly displayed to potential sexual buyers; that included his own brother."

"I gave no indication to make him feel that any of this was his fault." Sesshoumaru now could see however, why Inuyasha found he could not look his brother in the eyes.

"Were he in his normal mind Sesshoumaru, he would probably _not_ feel the way he does; but he is now only a very young adult, not much older than Rin. Think how would she feel?" Setsuzentaru likening Inuyasha to Rin suddenly put things into perspective again for Sesshoumaru; he had been seeing Inuyasha as the young adult he should be, more recently. The visits had been progressing so well and Inuyasha was so much younger than his brother naturally; that Sesshoumaru had been able to put the fact that the hanyou was still not his normal mental age, to the back of his mind.

"There is something more you must consider Sesshoumaru. Seriously."

"Explain."

"Had this episode happened when Inuyasha was really only 120 years old, how would you have handled the situation, what would you have said and done back then?" Setsuzentaru watched closely as his question sank in to Sesshoumaru. As realization hit home Sesshoumaru looked away, pained. Setsuzentaru was relentless. "You would have used the occassion to deride him for weakness and to belittle him; perhaps even _blame_ him, for the implied slur on your personal tastes and habits. You would probably have rescued him, only to severely punish him; making him feel even more worthless.

"I only surmise this from what you have told me of yourself, but even if you did not say it this time; you are telling it him now in his head. Inuyasha is supplying all the hatred and scorn you had for him; as he believes it is true. Young children almost always believe what they are told, especially if life experience doesn't prove otherwise. Even in his normal mind he will still believe most of what he has been taught."

Sesshoumaru knew that this was all true; after all it had given him a sadistic pleasure to put Inuyasha through all he had, although that knowledge now, made him despise that younger version of himself. Even if he'd not fully known all the harm he had been doing then; as well as he did now, it was no excuse. Even back then he'd known he was being cruel.

"What do I do?"

"Be gentle, patient and let him work it through. Speak to him normally and do not ignore him." As Setsuzentaru was speaking they were interrupted by Jaken who came to say that Inuyasha was vomiting in the garden. They rushed outside to find Kagura was making her way inside; with her arm around the pale Inuyasha and soon they had the hanyou settled into a warm bed, with a basin near in case it was needed. Kagura stayed with Inuyasha once he'd been seen by the healer; it was delayed shock and lack of appetite that had caused the sickness and she recommended a light broth to rebuild his strength.

Sesshoumaru had not failed to notice the spike in the sense of shame overcoming Inuyasha as he stroked the hair from his little brother's damp forehead. Murmering that he would come back later to see him; Sesshoumaru slipped out of Inuyasha's room feeling subdued. Kagura sighed as she looked at the same expression on both the boys faces; different causes, but the same look...miserable frustration. She sat holding Inuyasha's hand and waving a cool breeze over his head with her other hand.

"I went with Sesshoumaru to find those who took you Inuyasha, he was so angry with them and the villagers. Do you want to know what happened?" Kagura took his slight nod for his answer, he had not said a lot since he'd been brought back; although he did remember her. "Well, he found the slayers and brought them to the village square; calling everyone to him. Then he asked if any had complaint about his Lordship over the land. None had, so then he asked what harm you had done to them. Again there was no answer and Sesshoumaru grew angry with them. He said that if any more harm came to his pup from any of the village, he would have the community dispersed and moved from his land.

"Then he wrapped his whip around the necks of the slayers and told them that because they had tried to kill you once before and had now sold you into an uncertain slavery they would die and he decapitated all of them. Wasn't that good? Now they cannot harm you again."

"He called me _his pup_? Why? I'm just useless to him, a wortheless dirty hanyou."

"He doesn't feel that way now pup, he wants you to come home and be part of his family again." Kagura tried but Inuyasha just turned his head away and into his pillow. A couple of hours later, Sesshoumaru had had enough and came to Inuyasha; kneeling down in front of him and took his face in both of his hands. Then he gently but firmly forced Inuyasha to look at him, marvelling at how much of a petulant child his little brother could be sometimes.

"Listen to me pup, what happened was bad, yes; but it was not your fault. I will not have you cowering around the place as though you think you are going to be whipped; you could not have done anything about it, so look at me now and tell me you understand." Sesshoumaru was firm but not cold and he still held Inyasha's face; awaiting his brother's answer and keeping his face open and non-threatening.

"I understand Sesshoumaru." Was the almost timid reply from Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru gave his watery eyed brother, a genuine smile that reached his eyes warming the gold. He was rewarded with a reciprocating shy smile from Inuyasha and gave his little brother a relieved hug. After that Inuyasha was a bit better, but he still stayed apart from the family; prefering to watch than join in play, even when Rin tried to encouraged him.

Inuyasha could not work out how he knew Rin, she was a human girl of about ten years old and from what he understood, that would be her actual age; unlike him who had looked about ten years old for much longer, as his youkai blood slowed down his growth physically and mentally. Yet he was sure he had memories of playing with her when he was a tiny whelp, but it would have been impossible, the human would have been long dead by now. But then he also remembered Kagura and her feather from the same time and he didn't understand; she was so nice and seemed kind then, so why were he and his mother thrown away?

Rin's answers didn't make sense to him either, some big youkai monster had been killed and a Miko in a jewel gave Rin youki power to live a long time. Why had the miko done that? Because Lord Sesshoumaru didn't want to lose her in death again. Again, how had that happened? Lord Sesshoumaru had given her life after she had been killed. How? With a sword. What sword and why? It was a special sword from his father and because Rin had tried to help her Lord when he was hurt and she had been with him ever since. Why had she followed Sesshoumaru anyway? Because she loved him and he loved her. Did he tell her that? No, not at first but she knew because he was so kind and always looked after her and made sure she was safe.

But Rin could not explain why she seemed to be the same age in all of his memories of her, when he had been younger at one point and now seemed a bit older. Inuyasha was confused and it didn't feel as if his head was totally clear. Sometime later having seen everyone in the gardens again, Inuyasha made his mind up; he wanted to return to his cave and this time alone without Jaken. He wanted his own space to think and be alone for a while and being around the seemingly more caring Sesshoumaru, was not conducive to thinking clearly.

Inuyasha nearly lost his resolve though when he saw the disappointment flash across his brother's face as he put in his request to leave; even more when he asked Sesshoumaru to leave him alone and not come on his visits, so he could make his mind up about living in his brother's home without any pressure. It was obvious to Sesshoumaru that it was upsetting for Inuyasha to ask, as his ears were flat to his head; so this was not something he'd said to deliberately annoy him.

"_This_ **is** your home Inuyasha, it was always meant to be; it was our father's Palace."

"It was _never _my _home_ Sesshoumaru, mother and I had rooms as guests and then we didn't. This place was always yours and we had to obey your rules. I'm not sure I can always obey, in a way that would please you. I _always_ let people down, always let _you _down; I don't mind, I have my cave. I'll be alright." Inuyasha's words pained Sesshoumaru yet again, it was something that he had never considered before; he had always maintained he'd been more than generous, in allowing the human and her hanyou son a home in the Palace. He'd never realised that Inuyasha had not considered himself welcome at any time.

Setsuzentaru had advised Sesshoumaru when making decisions about his little brother, that he should bear in mind whose interests were being served; his or Inuyasha's.

This was something that Sesshoumaru couldn't stop unless he wished to crush all of Inuyasha's spirit and compromise the love that the boy had for him. He wished to do neither and so he agreed; knowing that he would still have his guards in place. Inuyasha had not known about them the first time and he still was in the dark; but even if he had of known, the guards were non-negotiable.

That evening, Sesshoumaru once again ran his fingers over the rosewood box he'd removed from his closet. He'd been about to disclose it's secret to Kagura when he'd been interrupted by the news of his brother's capture. Once again she came to him, beautiful from her bath and in her sleeping kimono; she said nothing but let her eyes ask the question.

"I am going to give this to Inuyasha in the morning; I wasn't sure at first whether he was of the age to remember the full history of these items, but I know he is now." Sesshoumaru opened the lid to the box and inside, nestling in the interior silk lining were three stones; round, smooth and about the size of a child's fist with childlike carvings on their surface. Kagura did not immediately reach in to touch the stones as a human woman might have done; as a youkai she knew the importance of scent and would not contaminate something like this with her own scent, unless she was given permission.

The Wind Youkai looked to her mate encouraging him to explain:

"Much of this was told to me. These stones are Inuyasha's. Not long after his mother died and he was alone, although unknowingly guarded by my soldiers; he spent all day searching for these three matching stones, near his old village. Then he spent the next, on carving the faces with his claws."

"This one is obviously you, Sesshou." Kagura said pointing to the middle stone. "I can probably guess the other two, His mother and your father?" Sesshoumaru nodded.

"Izayoi is this one and the other that is similar to me but with one stripe is father. He never knew what father was like and so his mother must have told him that he had the single stripe. He apparently re-structured the features if they eroded."

"The box is not something Inuyasha made though, it was a gift from you, for him?" Kagura was struck by the sudden way Sesshoumaru's expression darkened and his words, as he carried on speaking had become expressionless; a bare reciting of facts. She knew him well enough to realise it was his way of coping through an otherwise emotional time; as he locked himself away behind his mask.

"I had the box made; although it was not as a gift to Inuyasha, not then. I did not know of the stones for many years; I had left the guarding and the mundane watching of my brother to a few select people and I only turned up to cause him anguish and physical pain. My intent was to instill fear of myself in him and proof of his inferiority. I would regularly beat him and scorn him; so much so, that sometimes his guards would invent a problem to tell me, so I would have to stop the abuse and leave to sort the problem out. Of course it is only as I grew older I realised the subterfuge.

"The guard would then leave Inuyasha with some placatory extenuating reason as to my behaviour and why he was suffering because of it and the whelp would turn to these stones for comfort. For nearly a century, they were his family; he would take them everywhere and he told them all his troubles, everything that happened to him. He would lay them in a row, use sticks for bodys with some fabric as covering. He would say good bye to them, when he went hunting and greet them on his return.

"He was about 116 I suppose, when I found out about his 'family' his very well kept secret; his guards had certainly never hinted at their existence. But I came upon him playing with the stones, his familiarity in the speech he used annoyed me intensely. But my mind became greatly angered when I heard him talking familiarly to my effigy; in pity and understanding of the pressures I faced in being the Western Lord. How dare he be so understanding, when I had taken great pleasure into trying to make him fear me and to use these stones was a great insult.

"In fact my blood boiled when I walked into his dwelling and picked up the one with my 'face' on it. I could tell that the carving was old and not newly done plus the previous carvings were faintly visible in places. I could tell that he had handled them over many years, his various scents had impregnated the mineral; blood, sweat and tears. How dare he use mine and father's images, insulting our greatnesses that way and pretend that I cared about him? As I said these things aloud I also whipped him, till his back was raw and bleeding; ignoring the soldier trying to gain my attention.

"Besides, I realised now they all knew and had seen the way the whelp had in my eyes, disrespected his bloodline; with these carvings. I stopped when he passed out, but waited till he came round and dragged him to the lake near his home and made him watch me throw the stones to the deepest part of it. I expected tears, profanities even an attack against me, but there was nothing; he just looked straight at me then sat down and stared at the lake, silent. I cannot forget the look he gave me though; I had killed something in him.

"My soldiers gave me looks of contempt before they left for their posts again. Except for Shingi; he said _' I would think that in the light of your deeds this day, your illustrious father would be proud of his eldest son and the Lord you have become.' _Then he too, turned his back and walked away; even then I recognised true bravery and he only lived because I respected that. But I also felt great shame, I watched my brother as he put his head to his knees and his hair turned black; then I knew how I had managed to catch him unawares.

"I picked him up and took him back to the cave and for the first time ever, I dressed the wounds I caused; as a human he might have died had infection set in. All the time I wished he would speak so that I might make some excuse for myself but he was silent; not even a whimper and I have never seen him cry since then, at least not until Kagome left. I was very gentle, but nothing made him respond and I left him alone; with nothing to comfort him. I felt like a criminal and I fetched Jaken to retrieve the stones from the lake. It took him all night to find them; but I stayed until they were all found.

Such a burden of guilt I carried and yet I still did not give them to him personally. I left them outside his cave, while he was still healing; he knew I was there because he called softly to me and begged me to take his life then, if I so wished. I didn't answer and I kept my distance from him since then. When he moved on, I found out that he had buried the stones where I had placed them and I took them back to him. As I handed them over I informed him that I had no further objection to his using them; only to have him stare at me and take each stone and hurl them as far away into the forest as he could, before he moved out again to find somewhere else to live.

Once he'd gone, I hunted for the stones and brought them back with me, had the box made and have kept them ever since. Inuyasha does not know of this." Sesshoumaru was very aware that his mate was crying and had been for some time, but he was unsure of how to comfort her. "Now I do not know if I should give these back to him or not."

TBC


	17. Solitude

Ch 17 Solitude

Silence fell over Sesshoumaru and Kagura as they both gazed at the stones in the box.

"I suggest that you offer them back but do _not_ give them as a present. Inuyasha would not wish to anger or upset you by refusing a present; but he may not want to take them now. Oh Sessshou! What _did_ you do to him?"

"I took his last essence of childhood Kagura and it looks as though nothing I have done since he's been hurt, can undo that."

"He is _already _passed and through all of this in his real self Sesshoumaru; remember I told you how even Naraku knew, that Inuyasha still loved you and that was even after the evil trick you played on him with the un-mother."

"I do not know how, I have never done anything to deserve the love."

"That is the incredible thing, his love is unconditional; a gift of his humanity I would expect. Naraku was if nothing else, a great observer of beings emotionally; it was always what he used to manipulate. Inuyasha though was love starved and he would have made the most of every bland look you gave him, when you were not looking at him in in disgust; probably every visit too, that did not end up with a beating. It was also the reason that he could turn a blind eye to all that Kikyou was doing to him.

"He himself has only had two people give him the same love back, his parents and he did not have them long; even those he called his friends were often suspicious or not quite understanding of his loyal nature, including Kagome who abused the rosary often. But they gave him more love and acceptance, than he had ever had before and he would have given his life for them; just as he would for you."

"You know all this?"

"I _**do**_ know. Naraku often watched his arch enemy in Kanna's mirror, he delighted in Inuyasha's misery and would watch him as often as he could. He learned much about your brother's state of mind. Did you know that Inuyasha would confide his problems or worries to the two tail? She would often keep watch with him."

"I did know and I too heard him voice his concerns, when at times I made sure he was safe."

"It will work out Sesshou, you are not causing him pain anymore; let Inuyasha work things out on his own and you come to bed now."

In the morning everyone was subdued at breakfast; Inuyasha hadn't changed his mind about leaving and they were going to miss him. Sesshoumaru was late for breakfast in any case; because he'd had to set Jaken the task of finding places to stay and for suitable work, for those of the freed captives who had found their way to the Palace. Perhaps it _would_ be better for his brother to not be around the Palace for a bit; while these others were settled in. Inuyasha did not need to come across the blatent reminders of his own captivity, quite so soon.

After the morning meal, Sesshoumaru led Inuyasha to his and Kagura's chambers so they could speak privately; the Youkai Lord could tell that his little brother was slightly ill at ease and smiled kindly at him.

"There is nothing to fear Inuyasha, I merely have something to show you that you can take with you if you wish." He led the dubious Inuyasha over to the rosewood box and stood back to allow his brother to open it. Inuyasha lifted the lid and took a deep, shocked breath as he looked at the contents. He just stood for a long time contemplating the stones in their new setting, while Sesshoumaru waited for him to speak.

"These were thrown away."

"I retrieved them again."

"I can't take anything more with me Sesshoumaru and no place to put non-essentials."

"They _were_ essentials to you though."

"Is this the trick then Sesshoumaru, I take them back and then you kill me for treason or something? No. I learned my lesson the first time, I can still feel what you did to me."

"It is no trick Inuyasha, I promise; I was wrong, very wrong to do all of that to you and I knew it at the time when I'd hurt you. I went and got the stones and I've kept them ever since, hoping to restore them to you some day."

"I'm sorry brother, but they mean nothing to me anymore. I've grown up lots since then and I don't need stupid toys to play with; specially as they failed me."

"Failed you?"

"They were just a stupid pretend that's all, they're nothing; nothing. Go away Sesshoumaru...please." Inuyasha did not look up when his brother honoured his request, but he was aware that he was alone. He picked up the Sesshoumaru stone from it's silken bed; "You were my family for a long time, but he threw you away...and you didn't save me, he hurt me so bad; I couldn't pretend anymore. You are just silly stones; worthless like me, but what is Sesshoumaru playing at? I must go before he throws me away again, like he did to all of you."

Inuyasha hadn't realised he'd fallen into his old ways of talking to his 'family'; or that he was overheard by his unhappy brother in the next room, but he soon put the stone back in its bed and left to go to say goodbye. When he heard the door close behind Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru came out to put the box away. As he went to lock the lid though, he saw that Inuyasha had added to the box; inside were the very cloths that he had used for the bodies of his stones. Sesshoumaru stood dismayed, Inuyasha had carried them for all of these years; inside his firerat.

Inuyasha made his way once more, back to his cave via his mother's grave; where he made sure that the stone was still neat and the flowers freshened. He sat in the tree and told her all about his concerns, how it seemed that something was wrong with his head and his memories; but nothing seemed to straighten them. He stayed almost all the day; but as the sky darkened, he regretfully left the little gravesite and was soon starting a fire at the mouth of his cave for warmth and cooking his evening meal.

While his meal was cooking; Inuyasha rooted around the cave to make sure his den was just how he wanted it and that nothing had tried to take up residence, while he had been away. Everything was as it should be and he added his little package of provisions, given to him by Sesshoumaru's kitchen staff; to his little cache at the back of the den. Once he'd eaten and the stars had fully come out; he sat by his little fire nibbling on some of the treats he still had left over from his brother's visits and wondered about the feelings he'd been having recently.

He was alone here and that is how it had been for him for many years and yet something seemed wrong. Snippets of memory seemed to indicate that he had had companions recently; but it didn't make sense. Eventually he put it down to dreams and perhaps wishful thinking, that somebody would truly accept him for himself. He was not denigrating Sesshoumaru and his hospitality; but he was still unsure of the youkai's motive and he just knew he could not stand another huge rejection. But he did feel lonely and he pictured what they would all be doing at the Palace, while he was sitting here by his fire.

By now would be the time that Sesshoumaru and Kagura would be in their private suite spending time together; after the business of the day would be done. Rin would be there too; before she went to bed and would probably be leaning against Sesshoumaru's leg, as he allowed himself to run his fingers through her hair. There would have been stories and songs; more than likely games and while Sesshoumaru may not have joined in with them, he would have watched fondly as his mate and adopted child played.

Then soon it would have been her bedtime and she would be tucked up and bid goodnight by both Kagura and Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha sighed, he remembered his mother doing those things with him when he was small and he even had few strange memories of being held by his brother. It was not to be though, Inuyasha was not pure enough to have a lasting home. He finally went into his cave after a final scout around, to make sure the area was as safe as he could make it and then he went in and curled up on a bed of straw; made more homely with blankets and cushions from the Palace. Sleep found him quickly and he slept well and peacefully, warm and comfortable in his makeshift bed, replete with a good supper.

In the morning, Inuyasha breakfasted on the left over meat from his supper and went to look for some seasonal fruit to finish with. Had he been in the Palace there would have been a selection for him to choose from, but as it was he found a few early apples and late cherries. His morning freed once his chores were done, Inuyasha ran to stretch his legs; the sense of freedom was one he wouldn't trade and as long as he was on his brother's lands, he should now be safe from any who would try to catch him to sell as a slave.

The next day Inuyasha fell into the new routine he'd set himself, when he started to stay in the cave with Jaken; he ran first thing and then tidied the cave in case Sesshoumaru came for the normal visit. Then he sat down to wait, but his big brother did not come; even when Inuyasha walked down to the village and along all the paths and trails there was no sign of his brother. Inuyasha felt slighted, even though he knew that he had been the one to tell Sesshoumaru to stay away and he was shocked to feel the prickling of tears at the back of his eyes and nose. He had thought he could not cry ever again; as it was, he forbid them to fall.

But Inuyasha knew all about self preservation and would not go back to the Palace with his tail between his legs, that would be suicidal. Sesshoumaru would be able to put all kinds of conditions to his return. No, he was better off alone and free. That did not mean however, that he could not still practice his reading and writing as his brother and Jaken had been teaching him. He was not unintelligent, just not as educated as them and he now had enough skills to carry on learning for himself. Some of the things he'd brought with him were books that Sesshoumaru had given to him; stories and poems, histories etc.

He was diligent and kept himself to his own schedule, not slacking in his learning. The rest of his time was spent bathing, fishing and hunting as before; but it was a lonely existence without a doubt. He went to overlook the village again, to watch the people as they went about their daily lives; but even that was spoiled for him. When the villagers became aware that the hanyou was back and once again sitting in the trees watching them; they became afraid. Not of Inuyasha; but in rememberance of his brother's threats. Soon it was, that if they saw him and the alarm went off, the whole village would stop their activities and go inside of their huts until he went away.

Sometimes Inuyasha would stop what he was doing and rush outside thinking that he had felt his brother's aura; but he found no trace of Sesshoumaru's actual presence and again that stupid prickly feeling would sting in his eyes. For Sesshoumaru, who of course was there but well hidden; as he kept a personal interest in his little brother, the time was equally hard. He could see what the whelp was doing and he could smell the salt when Inuyasha was lonely; but he was determined to give the boy his breathing space as he himself wanted and as Setsuzentaru advised.

Then there were the days that Inuyasha would explore further and he would pack up some of his things and go further afield; perhaps for a couple of days before he would return to his cave. There were strangely familiar paths that he found, trails that he seemed to recognise and from a closer time than when his mother died. At that time he had run for miles and days on end, trying to escape death at the hands of humans and youkai alike. But he was bigger now and had learned how to defend himself a bit more, he'd found his blades of blood and how strong his claws and fangs had become; he'd also found out how to hide.

Inuyasha found more and more mysteries as time went on. He found himself one time near Kaede's village, drawn to it by a twinge of familiarity; but he fled from there when the villagers noticed him. He didn't at the moment recognise the distinction between sounds of welcome and those of the hunt. His heart pounding and with the sickness of the aftermath of adrenelin, he found himself in the calming presence of Goshinboku and once again a feeling of dejavu came over him; which continued as he found the glade with the bone eater well.

But it was when he ran almost straight into a pack of wolves, that he decided he had gone far enough and turned to go back to the cave on safer ground. They had surrounded the tree he was sitting in all night, pacing around him; not actually threatening, but certainly putting the wind up him. They ignored his threats and pleas to go away and in fact they seemed to be almost herding him back, towards the Western Lands; by sitting under every tree he jumped to and blocking his paths to any other way. The two youkai in charge of the pack didn't make themselves known to the confused pup, but just watched and guarded; their eyes shining sapphire and emerald in the moonlight. Kouga and Ayame had been asked to send Inuyasha back homewards should he go too far from the West.

Inuyasha returned to his cave and back to his normal routine but as his second month on his own, wore by he got lonelier and more fed up. The prickly feeling came more and more; stinging the back of his eyes until it hurt to blink and was harder to swallow back. Then sometimes the lump in his throat seemed a permanant fixture; prohibiting him from eating and drinking properly. Although he knew that it would ease his discomfort to give in to the tears; he had the horrid feeling that if he started he would not be able to stop and that would bring more shame to him, showing his youkai up completely.

TBC


	18. Outside Looking In

Ch 18 Outside Looking In

Sesshoumaru was getting worried now, about the scent that his brother was exuding; the obvious misery that he was bottling up could not be doing him any good at all and he was beginning to have disturbed sleep. Once again Setsuzentaru was consulted; only this time there was another privy to the conversation, Myouga. He too was concerned about his young master.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, It's not right that Master Inuyasha is feeling like he does at the moment. I have been speaking with him; he is very low in his spirits and I don't know what to do for him."

"That is what we are here to discuss Myouga; he has spoken with you, you know the reason for his melancholy?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"No. Not as such; but I have known the young master for all the time he was alone before and I know the signs."

"Myouga, why don't you tell us what you think is the cause of Inuyasha's unhappiness." Setsuzentaru said.

"It is easy, he is lonely, insecure...and frightened. It worries me my Lord."

"Why would this overly concern you Flea; you have seen your master like this before and you know that he is actually older, so he has come through before?"

"It is my belief my Lord Physician; that had Inuyasha not been sealed to that tree, he would by now be dead. He had almost given up on life just before he met Kikyou; but did not carry out his intentions, for fear of shaming his brother and further diminishing his father's name.

"You knew and never told me of this _before_ Myouga; you thought to keep _**me**_ in the dark?" Sesshoumaru added angrily. "I should not have learned of this from the priestess of the jewel; it was your responsibility to inform This Sesshoumaru."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, should My Lord have succeeded in terminating his own existence; you would have heard about it. You can be assured that Inuyasha knew _all_ the derogatory epithets you could have supplied. I heard them all."

"_You_ stopped him Myouga." Sesshoumaru stated, suddenly realising.

"I told him his father and brother would be bitterly ashamed if he took the coward's way out of a problem. But your brother is anything but a coward My Lord; he was just...more than ready to go."

"Then you worry for nothing Little Retainer. Setsuzentaru said kindly, "Inuyasha is not so helpless anymore." But Myouga was shaking and upset; all his legs thrashing about;

"I have _worried_ about my Young Lord since he was born; usually with good cause. Begging your Lord's pardon; but up till recently, I was the _only _one who cared about him.

"You have my apologies Little Flea. You are right to be concerned; but that Inuyasha will not end his life now, is all I meant." The Eagle placated Myouga and Sesshoumaru made an impatient noise; which got him a stern look of reprimand from both his companions.

"I have something of import to tell Inuyasha, Setsuzentaru and I wish to see my brother."

"My advice would be to go then and visit, don't press him to come back; but talk and see how he is. If nothing else, it may comfort his loneliness for a while."

The eagle's advice sounded good to both Sesshoumaru and Myouga and the Youkai Lord decided to go that very afternoon. He thought to take Rin with him, so that she could take off any awkwardness that might have arisen between the brother's; who hadn't seen each other for a couple of months. Once again, Kagura packed some comforts for her brother-in-law, dried fruits and preserves; a couple of rush mats and two new kimono. She also wrote him a message to say how much she hoped to see him home soon.

Rin chatted the whole way to Inuyasha's cave; even running on ahead of her Lord's steady pace at one point, so that she could gather flowers for Inuyasha. The hanyou was glad he could hear her coming, as it gave him time to pull himself together and tidy up quickly. He watched as they came up to his cave; the child with one hand full of flowers and the other holding tightly, to her adopted father's silken leg.

Inuyasha remembered doing that himself, when he was small; one time in particular when he had been playing outside in the gardens and had been lulled to sleep by the heavy scent of the summer flowers and the drone of the bees. He'd awoken to his brother sitting by his side, telling him that it was time for dinner and letting him walk up to the Palace holding on to Sesshoumaru's hakama. The charming image was ruined however; when he also remembered that once they'd reached the Entrance Hall, Sesshoumaru had ripped his brother's little claws away; pushing the child and making him fall on his bottom, then claiming that the pup was leaving his filthy pawprints and puncturing holes all over the expensive silk.

Blinking away the evidence the memory provoked from his eyes with practiced ease; Inuyasha made his way down the path with his hands in his sleeves, to meet his guests. Sesshoumaru greeted his brother fondly; not commenting about the bright eyes and pretending the wet salty smell was not assaulting his nose, then he watched in some amusement as Rin gave him the flowers, then took them off him again to find water and a jug to put them in.

"Your company has been much missed at the Palace Inuyasha; perhaps you would like to come for a visit...if you don't wish to stay." Sesshoumaru got a smile as reply and then Inuyasha made himself busy making refreshments for his guests. For most of the visit, Rin chattered away about her life in the Palace and Sesshoumaru looked on proudly as she spoke shyly of the progress she was making in her lessons. She was doing well in both the intellectual and the lessons in aesthetics; the now eleven year old, growing daily in grace and learning to control her rapidly growing limbs.

Inuyasha obliged her when she asked for a ride to the tops of the trees to see the view that the hanyou had when he jumped. Sesshoumaru agreed to this; as by now Inuyasha was old enough to be aware of his responsibility, when in charge of another. It was strange to him to feel the weight of the young girl on his back, but vaguely familiar; which was strange as he only once before remembered carrying Rin when he was a very young whelp, when they'd got into trouble. Still it was nice to have someone to impress, even if it was only a girl.

When he brought her back down, Rin was sent to amuse herself outside; while Sesshoumaru spoke to his brother.

"Inuyasha, I have some news that I wish to share with you. Kagura is carrying my pup, the heir to the Western Lands. I am to be a father." Inuyasha's eyes widened at his brother's news and Rin came in, having overheard him as well. Her eyes were starry, the happiness written on her face for all to read and she clasped her hands in front of herself; crushing yet more flowers that she'd picked.

"Is it true, Lord Sessh...I mean...Father, I'm going to be a big sister?"

"Yes Rin, Kagura is expecting my pup."

"Oh. Will it have puppy ears like Inuyasha?"

"No Rin, Kagura and I are both full youkai and so is the pup; Inuyasha is hanyou, half youkai and half human and that has caused his ears to be as they are."

"I will be able to look after him and play with him won't I? He' ll love me won't he?"

"Of course Rin."

"Oh, I must find some _special_ flowers for Mama." And off she went again. Leaving Inuyasha to once again stare in wonder at his brother.

"Is something wrong Inuyasha, does the knowledge that I shall soon have a pup displease you?"

"No, no of course not; I'm pleased for you both...She called you father." His brother confirmed this with a nod and Inuyasha carried on, "but she's _human_, I thought she was a...a pet or something. You adopted her?"

"Rin needed a family again and I was responsible for her; as I gave her back her life. Plus, over the years she has proved her love and loyalty to me and I sought to repay her in some small way; she is a special human and her life span has also been increased. As my adopted daughter she will have security for her whole life. Anyway Inuyasha, I must get back now to Kagura. I will come to see you again if that is alright with you; come Rin, time to go home."

"O.K. Father, do you think Kagura will like these?"

"I'm sure she will be delighted, Goodbye Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru took the child's free hand and walked away, back to his newly growing family. Inuyasha watched them go until he could see them no longer and then returned to his hearth, to put his meal on to cook and look over the parcel that Kagura had sent. He was truly grateful for her acts of kindness to him; remembering the gentleness with which she had spoken to him as a pup and he was very happy that she and Sesshoumaru were starting their family. So if he was so happy for them all, why was the lump that formed in his throat so often, sinking to his stomach; leaving behind a dead weight of nothingness?

Why did the girl Rin seem so special to his cold hearted, human hating brother? Only he didn't seem so cold anymore, did he; was that her doing as well? Inuyasha ate his supper and went to bed pondering about Rin and her influence with the fearsome Youkai. When he got up in the morning his mind was still full of the enigma that was Sesshoumaru and for the next week, Inuyasha went every afternoon to peep at his brother and the little family.

He saw the proud way that Sesshoumaru was already possessive and cautious over any movement Kagura made. He saw the girl curl up near to both her adoptive parents, as sometimes Sesshoumaru would read to them; sometimes there was a picnic or a bathing party, but whatever it was they all seemed happy and contented. Would it be possible for him, the filthy and unwanted halfbreed to join them and be a part of the family? Inuyasha always came to the same answer. No. He did not fit in with the lovely picture that the others painted.

He was always left wanting more; it was like the villagers, Inuyasha lived life through the eyes of others. Joy and happiness, love and kindness were only things he knew about when it happened to those he studied. And it was the same here in the Palace grounds. Shingi saw him as he came back to his den and was concerned about the dejected look that seemed to be his young charge's natural expression, at the moment. Thinking to give the pup some company and stop him being so lonely, Shingi pretended that he had followed Inuyasha, after having seen him at the Palace.

"Why don't you take up Lord Sesshoumaru's offer, to move in to the Palace? You would have comfort, he will do you no harm now; you know he has changed."

"Yeah, he has for now, but how long would it last Shingi? Before I'd be a nuisance again; someone he'd remember he was ashamed of, before he'd be looking at me with scorn and hatred again and I can't take that anymore. Sesshoumaru likes things pure and not dirty blooded, no offspring for him with puppy ears. You know that Rin is his _daughter_ now? She is pure, worthy of protection and being made safe; she even has a youkai lifespan because he could not bear to lose her.

"I'm his _brother_ and_ I _didn't merit all of the care and love he has given her. She is adopted because she _needed_ a family; but _he_ **took **_my_ family away. She was there you know, when I was a small whelp; I remember her. But she is _human..._pure human though and she could stay, when I was thrown out. Everytime when he came to find me and tell me how horrendous it was for the world, because I was alive; all those times he whipped me, I bet he went back and was _kind_ to her; making her smile and feel secure. She's never been beaten or starved while in his care has she?

"You think Sesshoumaru has changed Shingi? I don't. Not now, not with his perfect human daughter and perfect youkai son on the way; _She_ doesn't leave filthy pawmarks on his expensive silk and neither will his pup. They are pure; it's only dirty, filthy hanyou's who have dirty pawprints. How can he have changed Shingi..? I haven't and he has hated me for all of my life."

The Inu guard waited until the tirade had finished and the by now tired pup turned in for the night and then gave his attention to the shadow that was slipping back towards the Palace, like a pale ghost. He knew that Sesshoumaru had heard Inuyasha's tearful, tired outburst and felt sorry for the Tai youkai; yet he only had himself to blame for the whelp's lack of trust. Shingi hoped that Inuyasha would be back to normal soon, for both the brother's sakes.

When Sesshoumaru got back and retired to his rooms, he found Kagura relaxing and making baby things for their pup. As ever, she was beautiful and warm to look at and in her personality. Through her bond with him she could tell that he was disquieted and as she knew that he had followed his brother, it was not hard to deduce who was causing his problem. They had both been aware of the young hanyou spying on them; Inuyasha could not hide his aura in the same way as Sesshoumaru could.

"Tell me, beloved." She said as she knelt behind him to massage his neck muscles after braiding his hair to prevent it being in the way. So he did, he told her all that he'd heard.

"I didn't think he would become jealous of Rin, Kagura; his mind is confusing him even more, mixing up his times." Sesshoumaru was shocked as he saw Kagura shake her head.

"He has _always_ been jealous of Rin, Sesshoumaru; from the first time he saw how you felt for her, he was jealous. He recognised her importance to you. before you even admitted it to yourself."

"I don't understand. Why?"

"For the same reasons he just told you now Sesshoumaru. But he knows and understands about Rin when he is in his right mind; it just makes him sad sometimes, rather than green-eyed. He can't help but see that if things had been different for him, _he_ would have grown up wanted and protected at your side; just as Rin is. Do not forget that although he is confused, his past truly happened and he has only slipped back into it."

"It alarms me how much you know sometimes, Kagura."

"It just makes me so glad that we are free of such a monster as Naraku; who had such an unhealthy obsession with Kikyou and Inuyasha."

TBC


	19. Understanding Inuyasha

Ch 19 Understanding Inuyasha

"The child is safely playing outside and running Jaken a merry dance is she not? There is no one to overhear our discussion?" Asked Setsuzentaru as he gained admittance to Sesshoumaru's private suite.

"There is no one apart from my mate here; what do you have to say that is so secret?" Sesshoumaru replied as he looked from the Eagle to Kagura.

"That you are a damned fool, impatient and know it all whelp. It surprises me that you have such good command over your lands and peoples and yet are still so ignorant. I cannot believe that you feel old enough to bring new life to this world." Setsuzentaru seemed to have grown and his voice resembled that of Sesshoumaru's father. The InuYoukai stood with his mouth slightly open in shock.

"How dare you speak to me so, I am the Lord of the West; I could kill you for your insolence." Sesshoumaru soon got back his bearing.

"I dare, because you are arrogant and do not listen to your elders and betters; you deserve to be put across my knee and should your father have been alive, that is exactly what you would have received, if not worse. In fact, I still might do it; yes _even_ now, with your own offspring on the way. As for killing me, you could certainly try _chick_; but I would remind you that I am Tai Youkai of the Eagles. My size compares to that of your father's and is easily far bigger than your own and before your mate gets any ideas of protecting you from my iron talons and my razor sharp beak; the wind is _my_ _**servant, **_in my natural form."

Setsuzentaru however had noticed that Kagura was actually concealing a huge smile behind her fan and not using it as a threat. Her eyes were dancing at the fact her Lord was being cowed by an elder. He had needed such discipline for many years and much as she loved Sesshoumaru she knew it would do him no harm. Although the reason for the normally calm and aloof Eagle to be this angry, was not a subject for laughter. Sesshoumaru however was still resisting and trying to gather his pride around him again.

"Just what am I supposed to have done to warrant this 'assault'? If it has to do with my visit to Inuyasha, you said yourself I should go. I could not win either way then, either I tell him of my pup and have him get upset or he would get upset, if he was the last to know." Sesshoumaru sounded sulky even to his own ears.

"I agreed that you should go, but I _didn't_ think you would take the child with you. Honestly Sesshoumaru, what did you think you were doing? Do you imagine that Inuyasha is pretending? He is not, he is a child at the moment and living in his own cruel past; barely of an age where he would have left the shade of his mother's wings even as a human, and as a youkai he should _still _be in her care."

"I still do not see what I did that was so wrong."

"You went and flaunted your completely happy life and future in front of the one whom you so ruthlessly denied. You expect him to trust in your motives, purely because _you_ say he can. Inuyasha has not survived all this time without being cautious and he now thinks you try to hurt him emotionally rather than physically. What is so hard to understand about that? Really Sesshoumaru, I gave you more intelligence than that. If you want to be a successful parent you will have to come down off your high horse and think; try to understand things from another's point of view."

Sesshoumaru finally started to understand. All of his life, he had had things his own way; he was powerful and intelligent concerning everything but his brother and Inuyasha had always suffered because of him. He had thought that it would take no time at all to gain the boy's trust; now he could see what a fool he had been for ever thinking it would be simple, especially with the age the child was now. He had enjoyed the trust and love that Inuyasha's youngest manifestation had given him and he genuinely regretted his behaviour of the past. But Inuyasha could not know that, he had not proved it to him.

Setsuzentaru saw the realisation come to Sesshoumaru's face along with the remorse and so he softened his next advice.

"You should go to him again; _**alone**_ and let him go at his own pace. Read with him, tell him stories about his heritage; teach him and let him learn to trust and love you again. He is longing for your acceptance of him, but is afraid that it is all a ruse to hurt him more. Prove it isn't by taking _his_ time."

"Very well...thank you Setsuzentaru. I think I understand your 'admonition' I will not need your other method of chastisement." Sesshoumaru said with gentle but sober humour.

"_I_ will be the judge of _that_ chick and I will reserve the right to provide it, should it be neccessary. I accept your thanks but would rather see it given in the form of my advice being heeded. I am very fond of _both_ my old friend's children and my dearest wish is to see them reconciled with each in their rightful minds. I will take my leave of you now. Good day my Lord and Lady of the West."

There was silence between the couple for a while after the Eagle Lord had gone. Sesshoumaru was thinking of the irony that he always knew exactly how Inuyasha thought and felt when he had tormented him, but had not been able to understand the pup when he was trying to be nice. What an indictment for his Lordship and his high opinion of himself.

"What must I do Kagura?"

"You asked for the wisest help you could find to learn about Inuyasha's condition Sesshoumaru; it would be wise of you to take that advice, even if the counsellor annoyed you."

"I certainly mated wisely my Kagura." Sesshoumaru said as he kissed her. "I do want my brother back here, it is rightfully his home."

"You won't be able to have him back on the same terms that you used to fight him; even if you never mean't to kill him. He is still a pup and takes things literally, even when he is in his normal mind. He needs you to be more fatherly with him as his older brother; he needs you as his alpha, but as a trustworthy one."

"What is this, a kick This Sesshoumaru day?"

"You can take it My Lord." She replied laughing.

"Will I be a good father Kagura?" Sesshoumaru was not saying this lightly, he needed to know his mate's opinion.

"You are very good with Rin and you have been good with Inuyasha. Ask yourself, should one of our pups be born blind or deaf or have some other disability, would you let another of our pups bully that one?"

"Of _course_ not, all our pups will be as valuable to me as each other."

"Then you will be a good father and you have learned how your own father felt about you and Inuyasha; he would have loved you both the same had he lived and would not have cared about Inuyasha's 'disability', his human blood." Kagura saw her mate turn away; she knew he felt shamed by Setsuzentaru and even to some degree by herself. But he was a strong person and could always turn the bad back to good _and _he was intelligent enough to make sure that he did so.

Before lunch, Sesshoumaru had gathered together more scrolls, paper and inks to share with Inuyasha as Setsuzentaru had recommended and packaged them up with some sweet cakes that Kagura put in for her brother-in-law. Also included were some board games, for times when studies might become tedious for Inuyasha. Then he was preparing to set out after lunch; when Rin came bounding up to Sesshoumaru asking to go with him, to visit her 'uncle'. She pouted and nearly cried when she was told that this time and for some others yet, she would not be accompanying her father.

"Go to your mother Rin and see if she needs your help please. Inuyasha is not ready to see you again at the moment and until he is, I shall go on my own."

"But you always take me, I'll be good and I can pick him some more flowers; I know just the ones he will like."

"I said no Rin. I should not have to repeat myself to you."

"You care more for Inuyasha than you do for me now don't you?"

"You know that to be untrue Rin, but Inuyasha does need me at the moment; more than you do, he is hurt in his feelings right now."

"Alright, as long as you still love me too." She brightened as Sesshoumaru smiled at her and handed her over to Kagura's care. Then he wondered about how easily he could detect the stirrings of jealousy in the child, as he left her behind; but had never seen them in his own brother. Yet now that it had been spelt out for him as it were, it was obvious that Inuyasha had felt it often. Sesshoumaru had sometimes seen the look of sadness in the pup's eyes when they'd met on the quest; sometimes Inuyasha had not even been able to look at Rin, turning away or jumping into a tree to avoid her.

The boy had earned many a 'sit' because of his less than civil behaviour or language near the child; punishment that Sesshoumaru had heartily endorsed, whilst at the same time scorning his brother that the wench had such a command over him. But a feeling of jealousy explained much about Inuyasha's attitude towards Rin and his own mocking of Sesshoumaru's care of the little human girl.

It was a feeling he himself could understand, his own desire for Tetsusaiga was purely a covetous one and the animosity that he'd felt for the whelp was built on jealousy. Ownership and possession were a strong part of the InuYoukai nature; they helped to form strong pack ties, ensuring the pack felt secure. He had failed in doing this and that had led to an imbalance in the arrangement; making the brothers out for their own ends instead of working together.

Sesshoumaru had requested that Shingi come back to stand personal guard over Kagura and Rin while he visited his brother and now was waiting on the guard to report on Inuyasha. Shingi could attest to the fact that Inuyasha was quite calm and rested, following his normal routine of going for his run and hunting. He'd spent the morning reading and tidying his cave almost obsessively Shingi thought; but the guard was almost certain that Inuyasha knew that he was around. Unlike when he was really young, Inuyasha's older subconscious mind was well trained to notice if he was being watched or hunted.

So, as he had not made any effort to unearth whoever it was; he probably knew that it was one of his brother's guards there on Sesshoumaru's orders. But with the state of mind the pup was in now, he probably thought that Sesshoumaru wasn't so much protecting him, as just making sure that he was doing no damage and to chase him out if and when his brother decided he'd lived in his cave long enough. Sesshoumaru could not fault that logic; understanding as he did now, that Inuyasha was still insecure about the TaiYoukai's concern for him.

Sesshoumaru thanked Shingi for his long standing concern for Inuyasha and knew that he left the rest of his family in secure and loyal hands. Shingi had been one of those servants who'd been brought in as a pup when Sesshoumaru himself was a pup and they had had been educated together for some time; along with others. Much of Sesshoumaru's training had been alongside those who trained to become his soldiers and guards. Plus, it had been Shingi who had stood up to him when he had so appallingly mistreated his brother over the pup's stones.

Soon Sesshoumaru was ready to leave but for the first time he was apprehensive; he wanted to do this correctly, not wishing Inuyasha to take flight. He didn't know how to prove to the pup his sincerity; but it was important that he did so, for Inuyasha's sake as well as his own. This age was the longest that his brother had stayed in and it was not the healthiest. It was the age when he'd become fully understanding of his place in the world according to human and youkai alike; understood how his brother had really felt about him. Sesshoumaru now accepted that he had a lot of work to do.

He had been thinking all the way to the cave that was now his brother's home and with his mind occupied, he had not fully realised that the cave was empty. A cursory search with his youki also indicated that Inuyasha was not in the immediate vicinity. Sesshoumaru took a look around the cave and saw that it was indeed neat and tidy; extremely so and from what he'd always known about his brother, that seemed out of character. Clean and fairly tidy was the most Inuyasha normally came up with and so this 'felt' wrong. But all his belongings were still there; the new things supplied by Sesshoumaru along with Inuyasha's own meager treasures.

The indications therefore, were that Inuyasha hadn't left; for another place to live. But Sesshoumaru's senses were on alert; his instincts telling him that something was wrong. Everything was too neat and pat, where was his brother and what was he doing? Sesshoumaru spread his aura on a much wider area to see where it would spark against his brother's youki as they met. Then he took off in the direction indicated; only to come to a sight that almost brought him to his knees.

Inuyasha was in a hot spring that was murkily swirling with his life's blood and blood also died his silver hair in streaks as it poured from his shredded ears. Sesshoumaru immediately waded in to reach his brother who was unconscious, his nose told him that Inuyasha still lived but only just. The boys arms bore long gashes from the shoulders down to the wrists and Sesshoumaru tore strips from his white silk to wrap Inuyasha's wounds. If he took him from the hot water while they were unwrapped the shock of cold and the pain could kill him.

Once he was as safe as Sesshoumaru could make him, Inuyasha's golden eyes opened briefly and he smiled at his brother.

"See Sesshy, my blood is the same colour as yours and hers." Then once again he passed out and Sesshoumaru lifted his head and howled, pure anguish and sorrow that reached all the youkai in the area and also alerted those at the Palace. Sesshoumaru picked him up out of the spring and wrapped his brother in what was left of his silk jacket then flew back to the Palace. He headed straight to Inuyasha's rooms and sat with his brother in his lap, his arms around the pup and his eyes a blazing red.

TBC


	20. Treatment and Recovery

Ch 20 Treatment and Recovery.

Sesshoumaru was unapproachable; he held his brother in his lap and growled a loud warning if anyone got too close. The only one who did not get this treatment was Kagura and she brought him the items that the healers left with her. Soothing balms and bindings. They really would have preferred to see Inuyasha for themselves, but that was impossible; so they had to make educated diagnosis on scent alone. There was a lot of blood and an erratic but constant heartbeat. No smell of infection was in the air; only the sound of pathetic whimpers came from the hanyou, as finaly the pain of the injuries started to affect him.

Sesshoumaru's youkai was growling to his brother trying to soothe his pain. His nose was in his brother's hair snuffling; although he didn't go near the torn ears. Kagura was at a loss; she could get close enough to see Inuyasha but not touch him as Sesshoumaru would turn him away from her, his blood red eyes recognising his mate but still refusing even her. Eventually Setsuzentaru suggested that Shingi speak to Sesshoumaru's youkai to get him to let Kagura tend his brother. So, from a safe distance; Shingi spoke to his Lord using the growling language of the Inu youkai.

"Sesshoumaru, Alpha; Pack Leader."

"Leave Pack Leader. Go."

"Alpha Male, Brother Pup need help. Stop blood, heal."

"Brother Pup safe. Alpha keep Pup safe."

"Alpha let mate heal Pup."

"Alpha Bitch heal Pup?"

"Yes, Alpha Bitch heal. Medicine."

"All leave Alpha. Alpha Bitch stay."

"Alpha Bitch not know Inuyoukai."

"You tell. All go. You stay tell Alpha Bitch heal pup." Sesshoumaru turned his attention to Kagura and could scent her apprehension. Once all the others had gone he spoke again to Shingi.

"Tell Bitch no fear. Heal pup. Alpha understand." Sesshoumaru's message was relayed to Kagura and she immediately went to Inuyasha to take stock of his wounds. What she saw horrified her and as she understood Sesshoumaru's possessive nature; she could quite see why he was allowing his youkai full reign at the moment. If he'd not been too big to help his little brother, he would have been in his true form she was sure. As it was, he was using his phenominal control to hold his humanoid shape; but his mind was that of his canine form. Kagura asked Shingi to tell Sesshoumaru that this was likely to hurt Inuyasha until the treatment was over.

"Alpha Bitch warn Alpha. Pup cry. Pain."

"Alpha understand Bitch. Bitch not understand Alpha youkai." Sesshoumaru let Kagura bathe his brother's wounds on his arms and then cover them with healing paste of herbs and balms before bandaging them both; although he inspected everything she did, sniffing at the concoctions and coverings. All the time Inuyasha whimpered and cried; but didn't awaken and because he was so weak from blood loss, he sounded almost like a baby mewling. Sesshoumaru also growled low to Inuyasha trying to calm him with the instinctive language they both understood, but Inuyasha was not aware; as of yet.

Tears ran down Kagura's cheeks as she cleaned Inuyasha's ears, there was nothing else she could do for them and lastly she carefully cleaned his claws to get rid of the last of the evidence; that he had indeed, harmed himself. The rest of his body thankfully, showed no signs of damage but she washed him all over; just to get rid of as much of the blood that might be left on him as possible. Then she asked Shingi to find a sleeping kimono from one of the closets and she dressed Inuyasha in it. At least Inuyasha looked more presentable and he seemed to have stopped being distressed. The only thing she couldn't do, was clean his silver hair; that would have to wait.

Once the brother's were comfortable, both Shingi and Kagura left them alone; Kagura having to check on Rin and also to account to the healers, who listened hard to her descriptions of Inuyasha and were satisfied that all that could be done was being done. Sesshoumaru sniffed again at the unfamiliar smells on Inuyasha and recognised the plant smell of herbs; he could also smell blood again from the pup's ears.

As he had done before when Inuyasha was attacked by Shippou, Sesshoumaru bent his head and lapped at his brother's ears; letting his saliva heal and repair. It was as he was doing this, that Inuyasha opened his eyes again; feeling the soothing and rhythmic motions of his brother's tongue to his ears although the pain was intense. Sesshoumaru's gentle rumbling growl in his chest didn't let up as he tried to comfort his brother's renewed pain.

"You should have let me go Sesshoumaru; it would have solved both of our problems." Inuyasha whispered; as a couple of tears slid down his cheeks. He got a low sharp growl in response and was stunned to feel the tongue come round and wipe the tears from his face. Even more surprising was when he realised that Sesshoumaru's eyes were red and blue; indicating the fact that his youkai was in control. More tears fell as Inuyasha recognised the significance of his brother like this; Sesshoumaru's youkai was instinctively protecting him, caring for him as he would for a pup of his pack.

Personal protection from Sesshoumaru was not something Inuyasha had ever had before and he tried to speak to his brother; knowing he would have to use his rusty Inuyoukai.

"Brother?"

"Brother Pup rest. Lost blood, ill."

"Why care for Pup? Alpha hate Pup?"

"Pup Brother. Alpha not hate Pup Brother. Foolish Pup. Hurt with claws. Need scruffing."

"Alpha not hate Pup? No scruffing, Hurt much."

"Silly Pup; near death. Make Alpha Brother sad. Alpha Brother stop hurt. Protect Pup. Pup not harm again."

"Pup won't."

"Don't trust silly Pup. Pup not trust Alpha. Alpha Brother not lie. Brother Pup stay home here. No more hurt self, no more hurt brother. Alpha Brother not hurt Pup."

On hearing and actually understanding Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha had to believe in his honesty now. There was no way that Sesshoumaru would be expending this amount of energy in the control of his youkai, for someone he didn't care greatly for. He would _kill_ in this form or care; but he _couldn't_ deceive, he needed his higher mind for that. This was as near to his truest form that he could be; if not in dog shape and youkai of Sesshoumaru's calibre didn't lie; there was no need, plus as Inuyasha now remembered; Sesshoumaru considered outright lying, as beneath him.

No, Inuyasha finally knew that he could trust in the Sesshoumaru who had been spending his valuable time with him; visiting, teaching and cajoling. He did want him; after all these years, his brother wanted him; him the outcast hanyou, to come home. It was true, there was no scent of a lie in his brother's personal odour, only concern; Sesshoumaru wouldn't have the strength to lie; as he balanced between his forms.

The relief was tremendous and the hard knot that had formed over the last couple of weeks broke apart and Inuyasha could not stop the flood of tears overspilling his eyes or the hiccuping sobs that went with them. Inuyasha's eyes and throat had been sore for so long from holding back and it was a relief to his heart to finally let them go. But he found for his pains, that he was gripped even tighter in Sesshoumaru's arms and having to answer his worried question.

"Pup hurt? Pup sad? Alpha make Pup Brother better. Pup not cry. Make Alpha sad. Tell Alpha make better. "

"No, no; Pup happy. Pup very happy. Pup trust Alpha, Pup love Alpha Brother."

"Good, Alpha Brother love Pup, care for Pup." And Inuyasha found his face being washed thoroughly again and thinking that he was on the whole glad, that Sesshoumaru was able to hold off his dog form. But he was comforted in being cared for in this way; it appealed to strong instincts that he didn't know he had. However, he also knew he needed this sense of belonging. Sesshoumaru was the nearest thing to a parent that he had; father and brother in one package and he wanted him to care so badly, to be part of the family properly, that he could almost taste it.

Inuyasha snuggled as best as he could into Sesshoumaru and rejoiced as the Youkai responded by snuffling into his hair again and washing his face of yet more tears. Inuyasha wished that his tears would just stop, but they hadn't yet. Sesshoumaru took another sniff at him and then stared into Inuyasha's face. The huge red and blue eyes were surprisingly mild and concerned.

"More tears Pup? Pup need cry. Feel better soon. Pup not alone again. Pup Brother, Pack Brother. No more sad outside pack. Alpha Brother sorry. No more bad times. Alpha Brother sorry. Alpha love Pup Brother." If he'd wanted to stop Inuyasha's tears by those short but telling statements, Sesshoumaru didn't succeed; his little brother was so overcome, that it took him a long time to compose himself back to just the odd sniffle. But Sesshoumaru understood.

"Pup Brother forgive Alpha?" Sesshoumaru also understood the barely discernible but obviously sincere;

"Of _course_ forgiven. Pup love Alpha Brother." More face washing accompanied this declaration and Sesshoumaru himself felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his own being; his heart and mind were so relieved that he found he had tears in his own eyes. This was unheard of, but he found he could no more stop them than Inuyasha had been able to curb his own. Suddenly his own face was being snuffed at and his tears were washed away; as Inuyasha imitated his brother's actions with a shy smile. There would be no going back from this new found understanding between them; both realised this at their most basic level and neither regretted the fact.

Sesshoumaru now had something else to say;

"Alpha look after Pup on moonless night."

"You know?"

"Foolish Pup. Alpha Brother always know. Youki blood go this night."

"Tonight? Oh dear."

"No fear, Alpha Brother stay. Look after Pup. No harm to Brother Pup. Alpha guard, Pup sleep." Then Sesshoumaru settled them down for the transformation which he could scent was imminent. Kagura came back with a hot soup that would be easy for Inuyasha to drink and give him the nourishment that his body needed to help him recover his blood loss. The soup was not taxing and yet Inuyasha was exhausted from the effort of eating it, especially after all the energy it had taken for him to cry as well. He sank once again into unconsciousness, but Sesshoumaru could tell that he was not getting any worse and that his sleep was once again medicinally enduced.

Kagura assumed that Sesshoumaru would stay with Inuyasha at least until his youki subsided; so she kissed them both, noting that Inuyasha still felt cold and was much too pale. She got another blanket and Sesshoumaru let her wrap his brother up in it; before he took him back hiding him from general view, by his arms and sleeves. As the night progressed Sesshoumaru watched as his brother was in more pain because of being human. His wounds gave him a fever and he became fitful; although still unconscious from the medicine in the soup and his considerable blood loss.

Kagura answered one of her mates whine's and brought water to bathe Inuyasha's forehead and tried also to get some pain relief into him. Some of it worked and Inuyasha slept once again. It was well past midnight when Inuyasha once again opened his eyes in a fog of pain; his arms hurting as the paste and bandages had dried out, causing them to adhere to his wounds. Once again his whimpers were soothed by his brother; who gazed down on him with his golden eyes once more.

"Inuyasha, you need a bath to release the bandages from your arms. Kagura will assist me to do this and then we will apply fresh to you." Although Sesshoumaru was back to his usual self, he still had hold of Inuyasha and stood to carry him to the bath adjoining the suite. Kagura had dismissed the normal attendants who had already made sure that everything that would be needed, was provided and she had fresh medication and bandages.

Sesshoumaru accompanied Inuyasha into the water even though he protested that he could bathe himself; but as his older brother pointed out, he was not being bathed as such, but treated. The elder brother slid Inuyasha's kimono from his shoulders to his waist but allowed the boy his modesty by keeping the kimono on from the waist where it was tied securely. Inuyasha could not bend his arms, they were too painful and the water although not too hot was uncomfortable; stinging his sores through the bandages.

As Kagura prepared more medicine, some for his arms and some for his pain, Sesshoumaru firmly held Inuyasha down under the water only allowing the pup's head above the surface. Soon the water did not sting quite so badly and Sesshoumaru gave Inuyasha the prepared pain killer; then after giving it time to start to work, he started to remove the bandages. Inuyasha had never imagined Sesshoumaru could be so gentle; he patiently rolled the bandage as he went, but where it was stuck he worked efficiently to free it with the minimum of pain caused to his brother.

Inuyasha's violet eyes never left his brother's face while Sesshoumaru tended him; he marvelled that his brother was being so loving and careful. Inuyasha had fully expected the bandages to be removed, whether they were stuck or not and had resolved himself to the sharp agony that he would face. But it never came and for that he was grateful. At one point Sesshoumaru knew that he was being watched and he looked up straight into his human brother's eyes and both boys gave each other a genuinely loving smile.

Inuyasha could have died happily right then, but his arms hurt too much and he rested his forehead against his brother's chest breathing hard with the pain; now that the bandages were free. Sesshoumaru allowed Inuyasha a few minutes breathing space and stroked his brother's ebony hair which was so different to his normal silver mane. He found however that he missed Inuyasha's puppy ears; preferring those to ones on the side of his head. How perverse that he should favour the obvious difference between them; yet he was not mocking or feeling superior, it was just that Inuyasha in his hanyou form _was_ his brother, more than his other two sides.

Kagura had by now prepared a honey milk drink for Inuyasha; laced once again with a soporific and he drank it as Sesshoumaru dried him with soft cloths. Inuyasha didn't make a peep as his brother dried his arms which had started to bleed again nor when they were bound again with fresh dressings; but he did yelp in indignation when an amused Sesshoumaru removed the wet kimono and dried the rest of him. Soon Kagura wrapped him up again in another sleeping kimono and warm blanket as he started to get sleepy. She then took him back to his bed while Sesshoumaru got dry.

Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha back into his arms for the boy to sleep more comfortably rocking him and growling low in his throat telling him to sleep and be safe; nothing would harm him again. He also determined to find out how Inuyasha could so easily forgive him when he'd not demanded reparations; he would though, leave his questions for the morning.

TBC


	21. The Truth

Ch 21 The Truth

The rhythmic pulsing that beat throughout Inuyasha's body in tune with his heartbeat; signaled the end of his humanity for that month and for once the hanyou had slept away his hated night, only awaking to the last pulse. He felt safe and somewhat happy which surprised him, until the dream he'd had came back; clearer in detail than any other dream he could remember. In fact it seemed to be nearer a memory; but that was impossible. These thoughts took fleeting seconds to rush across Inuyasha's brain as he came round; more sluggishly than he usually did.

He soon identified that he was lying a bit stiffly on a comfortable futon propped up in a pair of strong arms that belonged to Sesshoumaru; but he didn't remember how he got to be like this. Even more surprising was that his brother was still asleep and the pulsing that had not long rumbled through Inuyasha's body had not disturbed Sesshoumaru in the least. That could only mean that his brother's youkai knew what was happening and didn't perceive it as a threat; allowing him to carry on sleeping.

Although he was now awake and alert, Inuyasha still felt that his body needed more rest and he was in no hurry to move and disturb his brother. Then considering that he had slept all his human night in such close proximity to Sesshoumaru, he decided that he was still probably safe and if he admitted it to himself; it was nice to be so obviously protected. He gave his mind over to thinking about his dream and his mixed up memories, the bandages were a surprise and so was the scent of Sesshoumaru and Kagura on his sleepwear and skin. He sniffed at the bindings and made out the familiar scent of herbs and grimaced at the fact that whatever had happened to his arms, hadn't yet fully healed.

It must have had something to do with that awful smell, that was so appalling he could hardly breathe; it was about the last thing he could remember with any clarity while he was sitting in Goshinboku and mourning the loss of his Kagome. His breathing hitched as he thought of her again and all of their lost chances. What future would there be for a lonely halfbreed? What would his long life be when everyone else moved on and eventually forgot about him; once their kindly concerns were swallowed up in their own everyday lives?

He knew that Sesshoumaru had offered him a home here back in the West; where he could rightfully stay in any case, as he too should have had some inheritence. But he didn't want charity and anyway, he didn't think he could always knuckle down under his brother's thumb. He had been a creature of the wilds for too long to change now, he thought and yet his previous life style did not hold any overly good memories either; mainly from being moved on from one place to another. He didn't like being hunted obviously, even though he could now defend himself ably; it was something that got old, quickly.

But there would be no choice for him, just being allowed to live was not an option for a hanyou. He'd worried about that aspect of being mated to Kagome, not wanting to put her in the same position as his mother had been. But he _could_ have lived in her time or asked Sesshoumaru for a safe haven, somewhere in the Western Land; or a combination of the two, as long as he was with her he would have been home and not on his own. As soon as he was out of these bindings he would ask Sesshoumaru some questions that his mind was confused about and then go back to the village, in case there was the slightest chance that Kagome had returned.

First he must discover what had happened to him, what was he doing back here with his brother and why he couldn't make sense of things in his mind. Although he probably had the answer to that one; he had obviously been poisoned with something and attacked...that would really have screwed his mind up. He hoped Sesshoumaru had killed whatever had attacked him; for by doing that, it had kept him from the precious well. Inuyasha couldn't move his arms very well and was getting a crick in his back now that he was awake and more tense.

He was also surprised that his own youkai appeared to feel safe, because he was not alerted to the fact that Sesshoumaru was by now awake as well and had started to stroke his hair and scratch the base of his ears. He'd not allowed anyone to do that since his mother; not even Kagome, especially not Kagome. It had an odd effect on the rest of his body when Kagome touched his ears, let alone scratched them; but with his mother the effect was different, the exact opposite in fact, calming and safe. With Sesshoumaru it was the same.

Safe, with Sesshoumaru? When did that happen and what on earth had made his youkai come to a decision like that? Certainly the ear rub was soothing and very welcome, but what about the potential danger of the poison claws? What was making him lean back against his brother and almost growling in contentment? While he was trying to make sense of all this, Sesshoumaru spoke quietly:

"You are tense and distressed Inuyasha; come, it is time to remove the bandages again and see how your wounds are progressing." Before Inuyasha could reply and with uncanny timing, Kagura entered the room with more herbs and painkilling medicine. Inuyasha's eyebrows raised in astonishment at the warm honeyed milk laced with the soporifc; but he made no comment, just put it alongside all his other questions needing answers. Next on his list of amazing things was when Sesshoumaru took him into the bath and once again removed the top part of his sleeping kimono to reach his arms.

Ignoring Inuyasha's splutters at the invasion of his privacy; Sesshoumaru told him sharply to stop being a little fool and allow the removal of the bandages. Inuyasha suddenly felt that the situation he was in was familiar and while trying to remember, he allowed his brother to sit him down in the water up to his neck. Once again, although he didn't remember the first time; Inuyasha was astounded at Sesshoumaru's gentleness as he unwound the soaking bandages. They stuck only in a couple of places and were eased off with great care; then the herbal residue was cleaned away and Sesshoumaru examined Inuyasha's arms in detail.

As he checked Inuyasha over, Sesshoumaru was alerted to the slight damp salty scent coming from his younger sibling. He looked with concern once again at the wounds that had nearly healed and called to Kagura for the pain relief. She though knelt down by the edge of the bath next to Inuyasha and brushed the fringe away from his eyes.

"What's the matter kid? Your arms have healed well and Sesshou did a great job on your ears; I _know_ you are not in enough pain to cause these tears, so what gives?" Kagura was kind and made sure that she had his attention; she also wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Inuyasha wasn't sure what had caused his slight upset, it had just happened. He wasn't used to such caring attention from Sesshoumaru, but had always craved it and now it was unmanning him to his shame. He could not put it all into words however; but Kagura had observed him for the last couple of months with his brother and she didn't miss the quick sideways glance at Sesshoumaru from his eyes.

"It's alright Inuyasha I understand; we all care very much for you and just want you to be well and happy."

"I don't understand, things are so different; I feel a bit lost." This was a lot for him to admit to but he was going to have to ask questions sooner or later and it seemed a good place to start. Sesshoumaru had been regarding him all the time and he was sure that something, was altered about Inuyasha. Time to get him out of the bath, dried off and into clean clothes. Sesshoumaru helped him, but this time allowed him to dry himself; Inuyasha's arms were moving much easier now and Kagura went to get both of them dry clothing. When they were dressed and had breakfast brought to the room, Sesshoumaru had a question for Inuyasha;

"Inuyasha, what is the last thing you remember?"

"Huh, I dunno; I think I was sitting in Goshinboku when I smelt this horrid stench. I think that's all I remember, but I've had some very strange dreams; although they are as vivid and detailed as memories. All I know is it's confusing and I hope whoever did it is dead right now; because if I've been here, no one is watching the well for Kagome. I was always there when she came back even if she didn't see me."

"I saw to their demise personally Inuyasha and you need have no fear on Kagome, your other friends said they would look out for her."

"Keh." Inuyasha once again concentrated on his breakfast whilst the other two looked at one another over his head. Later Kagura excused herself and went to fetch Setsuzentaru; filling him in on all that had happened. He was pleased to think that this time Sesshoumaru was going to ask for advice before spilling the beans to his little brother. Kagura laughed and said she thought that her mate was still concerned that he might be subjected to a childish punishment if he did anything else wrong; that made the eagle chuckle.

On being granted admission to Inuyasha's rooms, Setsuzentaru came over to talk to both brothers and as he did before, he was assessing Inuyasha the whole time. Did Inuyasha recognise him? Yes, he'd seen him several times in the past he thought, but couldn't remember or work out the circumstances. He was getting frustrated with not knowing what was going on. It was decided to ask Inuyasha what he remembered of his dreams and why he felt confused; at first the boy was nervous but then he sighed and said that he'd been sure that Kagura carried Sesshoumaru's pup when he himself was still living rough. But that couldn't be true and neither could his dreams about Rin being around when he was a tiny pup.

Then he confessed that there were other,s but they were special to him and he didn't want them to be explained away; he would rather keep them as they were. Inuyasha then said that he wished to go back to his village and the well; asking how long had he been in the Palace and away. This was the moment of truth; Kagura and Sesshoumaru looked to the Eagle to take the lead.

"Inuyasha, that last thing you remember was an attack on you by some exterminators; it was a cowardly and uncalled for attack and you were badly injured. You were overcome by the incense and then you sustained a head injury that took some time to heal."

"How long have I been out then and what did they do to my arms and my ears?" Inuyasha looked between Setsuzentaru and Sesshoumaru for his answer and it was his brother who replied after the eagle had nodded his head slightly.

"You were only 'out' as you put it for about a day, but the inside of your head was bruised and you forgot where you were and you were not your normal self for a time."

"Feh! I don't understand, stop all this hiding stuff and tell me. I can take it; I want to know exactly what has happened to me and I want to know now. Please Sessh...tell me." Inuyasha didn't realise it but he sounded as if he was not far from panic and Setsuzentaru spoke quietly to Kagura asking her to get some sedative from the healer, in the warm honeyed milk. Sessshoumaru could also hear the rising heart rate and tried to calm his brother by agreeing to tell him everything that had happened as long as Inuyasha came to sit by him again.

Setsuzentaru debated in himself; the chick was fairly highly strung at the moment and had been through much emotional turmoil; which although he did not consciously remember, did not stop his body from reacting to it. But the boy was a strong realist too; the truth might be shocking to him but he would come to terms quicker with it, than if they went pussy footing around; especially as everyone else already knew what had happened to him. The Eagle came and knelt down next to Inuyasha like Kagura did when he was in the bath, but Setsuzentaru came much closer and stared into his eyes.

Bright round and yellow eyes full of wisdom; looking into confused and apprehensive, wide eyes of gold. Inuyasha unconsciously scooted back nearer to his brother but felt rather penned in and his heart rate started to rise. This did not deter the physician though and Sesshoumaru started to stroke Inuyasha's hair and growl comfortingly in his chest, hoping to ease the pup's tension. He could see those intense yellow eyes as well as his brother and they were unnerving him and he wasn't the one being stared at. But Inuyasha could not look away; he was caught, the eagle's eyes held him fast.

Then suddenly Setsuzentaru blinked and smiled, freeing Inuyasha instantly from his hypnotic gaze; in time for Kagura to come in with the sedative. She came to Inuyasha and made him take the cup.

"What's this, I'm not thirsty; thanks all the same."

"Drink it Inuyasha." Said Setsuzentaru, his voice firm and authoritative.

"What's with all the pup drink anyhow? Have you spiked it or something?" Inuyasha's suspicians were well founded; rarely did someone do something special for him that did not involve deceit.

"It does contain medicine, yes; but you will drink it."

"_Why_ the pup drink?"

"Do you not like it?"

"That's not the point." Inuyasha raised his voice in a huff and Sesshoumaru looked slightly amazed, his brother actually still liked the revolting mix? But the Eagle explained;

"It reminds you doesn't it? Of times when you were cared for long ago and now it is the same; it is given to show you, you are still cared for and was the only way you would take medicine recently. So be good and drink it down and be grateful that Kagura has been preparing it for you; she has insisted that she and not the servants have looked after you."

"Feh! Thanks Kagura." And drink it he did, relishing the taste. For years he had only had water to drink or sometimes but rarely, milk that had been put out for a cat. Then he'd had some of the strange things that Kagome brought or even tea, if the monk gained them all entrance to a village's hospitality. But none of these reminded him of the special love his mother gave him; that the flavour of the honeyed milk recalled. Watching him Sesshoumaru realised that even now, back in his own mind again; Inuyasha was not much more than a child and certainly not yet mature. Even Setsuzentaru was still treating and talking to him as if he were a pup.

When the drink was finished, Inuyasha glared at them all; slightly embarrassed that they all knew he still favoured the child's drink and he almost dared them with his eyes to say anything. But no one did and that confused him even more; he could tell the flavour of the drink was tainted with herbs and he suddenly wondered what they were for, Kagura had told him he needed no more pain killer and she was right, so what was it this time?

"Someone tell me what's going on." Inuyasha naturally looked to his brother for his answers:

"Very well, Inuyasha...You were injured by the slayers somewhat over three months ago." Never taking his eyes of his brother, Sesshoumaru saw the horror change to disbelief and anger.

TBC


	22. Gone for Good

Ch 22 Gone for Good

"You Liar, YOU LIAR!" he shrieked, "Why do this to me? Why do you hate me so? Let me go, Let me GO." But Sesshoumaru wouldn't let go of Inuyasha, even taking some claw strikes for his trouble; until his brother started to go limp in his embrace. "You Liar" he whimpered once more; before he was blinking traitorous tears from his eyes and looking away hiding again behind his fringe, making a barrier between himself and the rest.

Sesshoumaru just supported Inuyasha until he felt the sedative take effect; thanking Kagura that she had made it strong. What could he do to help get through to his little brother that he was speaking the truth? Inuyasha needed to accept this as fact before he could be told the rest. Then it came to him and thankfully he didn't need to transform this time. He would speak directly to Inuyasha's youkai with his own.

"Little Pup Brother." He growled. "Alpha Male not lie. Pup sick three months. Better now. Alpha not hate Pup Brother, love Pup Brother. Tell before; love Pup Brother."

Sesshoumaru saw Inuyasha's eyes open wide at his growls before he slumped against his elder; not asleep or unconscious but just exhausted.

"Pup not understand. Not remember. Where Pup go three months? More lost time for Pup. Pup want sleep forever soon. Pup lost. No Kagome, no home, no life."

"Alpha tell later. Pup _**not**_ go. Pup Brother live here. Home with pack."

"Alpha Brother pack. Not Pup pack. Pup no good, lost Bitch." Inuyasha whined and bared his throat to Sesshoumaru who's eyes blazed in anger and understanding. He growled crossly and gripped Inuyasha by the scruff, shaking him slightly. Inuyasha's youkai was bereft without his mate and even though the relationship was unconsummated; the loss was similar and Sesshoumaru could identify with his brother's pain. If he lost Kagura now, he would want to die rather than live his long life alone.

"Silly, foolish Pup Brother. Alpha pack, Pup pack now. Alpha decide; not Pup." Sesshoumaru still held Inuyasha propped up as the boy was now exhausted and sedated; the whelp had no more fight in him and just succumbed to whatever was being done to him. This was not good; if Inuyasha just gave up, he would die. He needed something to hold him to this life; but what? Would he ever remember the happier times they'd all had recently together and the fact that he could be and had been a happy member of his family?

Once again Inuyasha was laid down on the futon and covered with blanket; he was not asleep, but _was_ very dopey. Once again Kaede who had been home and come back in the time that Inuyasha was in his cave came to sit by the boy; her kindly familiarity was soothing to him and he finally closed his eyes and fell asleep again. But his sleep was troubled by his now overactive brain. Inuyasha was far from stupid; his lack of formal education might make others fall into the trap of thinking him unintelligent, but it was often to their detriment. Inuyasha spent much of his nights protecting and thinking and now his brain was putting two and two together in his sleep.

Kagome was really gone; he knew this was so, it was something he knew before he'd been attacked, he just didn't want to believe it. And he knew that Sesshoumaru was not lying to him; apart from the fact that no one had contradicted his statement. Unfortunately, his brain kept on processing all the information he had about Kagome until it worked out that she would be born without the jewel; because it was no longer in existence.

It was at this point that Inuyasha woke up; his body refreshed and healed but his mind still in turmoil. The room was dark and the Palace in silence as Inuyasha once again crept out of his window, crossed the grounds and absconded over the wall. Once outside, he took of towards the village and the old bone eater well; this time however, his departure was not unexpected and he was followed at a discreet distance by a silver white shimmer in the dark.

Sesshoumaru followed Inuyasha although there was no need; it was obvious where he would be heading and he just wanted to keep an eye on his brother's fragile state of mind, rather than intrude. Inuyasha soon reached the well and he leaned over the edge to look down and then he jumped. Of course nothing happened, there was no flash of welcoming light to take him into the future where Kagome was. Then he was silent himself, just sitting cross legged in the bottom of the well, lost once again in thought.

Both Miroku and Shippou felt the great surge in youki energy as the brothers came into the area and they came up to greet Sesshoumaru, congratulating him on the fact of his mate's pregnancy. Sesshoumaru smirked and said that they returned the favour to Sango and Miroku blushed...it had not taken long for the couple to start on their family either. They were not speaking loudly and were some distance from the well but Inuyasha heard them and called out for Miroku to stay and talk with him for a bit. Sesshoumaru faded into the forest as Inuyasha jumped, to land next to the monk.

Shippou launched himself at Inuyasha and asked if he was better now and that he had missed him a lot but that he was happy with Sango and Miroku and soon they would have a new baby and he would help to look after it when he was not running errands for Kaede who had spent a lot of her time looking after Inuyasha and was he back for a visit or was he going to go straight away perhaps they could go hunting. At that point he either ran out of breath or out of things to say; because he was quiet and just hugged Inuyasha's neck.

"Heh Runt, how you been? You being good for Sango and Miroku?"

"Yes Inuyasha."

"You grow up nice and strong won'cha; just like Kagome would have wanted you to do?"

"Of...of course Inuyasha."

"Good boy, now go back to Sango while I talk to Miroku, make sure you help her now."

"I will. Bye Inuyasha."

"Bye Shippou." Inuyasha whispered as he saw Shippou scarper off back to Sango and Miroku's hut and he ignored the monk's thoughtful look, as he watched after the annoying Kitsune; of whom he had grown fond and would have treated as a son, if he and Kagome had been able to mate.

"Inuyasha, why were you saying farewell to Shippou as if you would never see him again? Do you intend to leave us?" Miroku kept the question light.

"Feh! Who knows what can happen around here monk. Don't read too much into it." Inuyasha's evasiveness and the fact that he answered at all, without telling Miroku to mind his own business; rang warning bells in the monk's mind. "Now who were you talkin' to earlier out here?"

"Talking too Inuyasha? If I'd been talking to anyone surely you would have picked it up."

"I'm not stupid monk, whatever anyone may think. I know my brother is here, only he could mask his aura that well. Anyway, it don't matter for what I want to talk about."

"Very well Inuyasha, you know I will do anything I can to help you."

"Feh! I understand I've been out of the picture for a few months."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru's been looking after you hasn't he? We have been keeping an eye out for Kagome of course, in your absence."

"Yeah well, she won't come back will she, she's forgotton about me by now." Inuyasha was fishing for information now, hoping that his worse fears wouldn't be confirmed; but the quick look of shock on Miroku's face was more than eloquent.

"What do you mean Inuyasha, how could Lady Kagome forget you?" Miroku couldn't know just how many subliminal signals he was giving Inuyasha; through his scent and body language. Inuyasha was an expert at reading his whole little pack and could tell Miroku was nervous and wanted to get off the subject; it told him all he wanted to know.

"When she went back Miroku, with the Shikon destroyed here; it can't be reborn can it? When she comes to be born, she won't come here when she is fifteen because the jewel won't be there. When did she forget, Miroku? When did she forget me?" He almost laughed at Miroku's stunned expression. "Didn't think I could work somethin' like that out for myself didya monk?"

"Does it _honestly _matter when, Inuyasha? She couldn't come back here; so it is a kindness for her really. But, it was immediately; her time would alter as soon as she passed the halfway point on her way through."

"So there is no point in me trying to be there when she gets through the well in five hundred years, because she won't know who I am. Thanks Miroku. Tell Sango I said 'hi' will you?" Inuyasha turned away and Miroku knew he'd been dismissed. He cursed the fact he'd forgotton that Inuyasha could still be alive in Kagome's time and now he'd just crushed his last hope; instead of letting the actual time, distance them naturally. Still, Inuyasha was in the care of his brother and Miroku knew he could leave the hanyou safely for now.

"I have long outlived my purpose; the jewel would have been kind to take me away with it but it was too pure to be tainted with halfbreed blood, it didn't want me either. You are right Sesshoumaru; I should never have been born or at least destroyed at birth." Inuyasha spoke to no one in particular even when he used his brother's name. But he was heard; as he once again stood by the well. Sesshoumaru thankfully reminded himself of Midoriko's promise, that there would be a soul mate for his brother and he just hoped he could keep his brother going for long enough to find her. At the moment he too was fuming, at the cruel way that life always treated his little sibling.

Sesshoumaru came out of the shadows and went to place an arm around Inuyasha, he did not speak; just allowed his presence to be strong and dependable and was secretly relieved when his brother leaned back onto his shoulder for a brief while. It was proof that his brother was not rejecting him; so Sesshoumaru let out some of his youki to wrap around Inuyasha, knowing that it would now help him to feel safe and not threatened. Then he lifted his unprotesting brother onto his youki cloud and flew them back to the Palace.

Inuyasha was silent the whole way but he was also unresisting and Sesshoumaru didn't know if that were a good or bad thing. Inuyasha's spark was missing; but that was to be expected right now. They were met in the hall by Kaede and Setsuzentaru.

"Thank you Lady Kaede for your concerns for Inuyasha; but I will take care of him for the rest of tonight." As Kaede left to go back to her bed, Sesshoumaru looked at the Eagle who was in turn watching Inuyasha.

"You must bring him to me in the morning Sesshoumaru, I cannot aid him at this moment, but tomorrow...we shall see." Then he too left and Sesshoumaru steered Inuyasha towards his suite of rooms. Inuyasha still had not spoken or resisted; or done anything but remain inside his mind and Sesshoumaru was afraid that the new shock of all that had happened today, would send his brother over the edge into madness or childhood again. The Youkai Lord was very relieved to see his Lady was up and waiting for his return and even more glad when she took charge of Inuyasha.

Very gently, but also very firmly; Kagura told Inuyasha to go to the bathroom and relieve himself and then bathe, while she spoke to her mate.

"What happened? I presume he went to the village."

"He has worked out that Kagome has forgotton him and the monk confirmed that it would have been immediately. Apparently Inuyasha had been thinking to wait to see the girl again in the future. You do not seem surprised."

"I did not tell Naraku everything I worked out, or saw in Kanna's mirror and neither did she. I know a lot about Inuyasha; I know as he is now, that he will not grieve in front of you; for fear of your disdain."

"This Sesshoumaru understands and yet if my brother sinks inwards; I shall lose him, he is choosing to follow his almost mate in forgetfulness. I can smell the change in him and I do not know what to do." Sesshoumaru way of speech showed Kagura how concerned he was; as he was trying to hide once again behind his stoicism.

"You must trust me My Lord, I know Inuyasha very well, but I _will_ need you to trust me."

"I do My Kagura; implicitely." He smiled at her reaction, she had not expected that and it touched her heart; but he meant it, one thing Sesshoumaru could do was scent deceit and there was none in his mate. Kagura went into their bathing room with clean sleeping wear for Inuyasha and fresh towels to dry him. She was the one who called him from the bath, dried him and dressed him for bed as if he were a child again; while he let her do it, as he was in a complete state of inertia. While she dealt with Inuyasha, her mate quickly refreshed himself and was nearly as ready as his brother; by the time Kagura had finished tying his brother's robe.

She held up her hand behind Inuyasha to halt Sesshoumaru from coming further into the room and kept the hanyou's attention, such as it was, on herself and what she was doing.

"I remember Kagome. The girl with the strange kimono is how I first knew her. I had to watch her a lot when we found out just what she was." Kagura smiled to herself, she'd got a flicker of a response in the dull amber eyes. "Sweet, innocent and so pure it was unbelievable; but my, what a temper. Amazing how it all fit into such a small bundle of female hormones." She shook her head, laughing gently. "Of course watching her 'sit' you was unbelievably amusing for Naraku; he got almost as much pleasure from it as the little kit." Kagura ignored the two sets of almost identical, soft growls that came with that thought.

She went and got a hair brush from her table to pull it through Inuyasha's silver mane unknotting the tangles; knowing that grooming him would be comforting and would appeal to his pack nature even if _he_ did not realise it. Then she carried on speaking;

We, that is Kanna and I; never did understand how she could love you as much as she did. She fed you, nursed your wounds; cried over your pains and when you hurt her. You wouldn't find many females put up with you as well as she did. Not because you are a hanyou either but because you could be so rude to her. How she put up with you sometimes. I'd have slapped your face many times. But not Kagome. She really understood you, didn't she Inuyasha and she loved you with all of her heart? You loved her too, sitting by the well awaiting her return whenever she left, no one else knew how you wept sometimes when she left."

"Stop it Kagura, how can this help?"

"Trust me Sesshou." She whispered back,Kagura could see that Inuyasha was at least listening to her and was not lost in himself and becoming unreachable as yet. "Inuyasha, think of honouring her memory as if she died when the Shikon Jewel vanished; would that beautiful, loving hearted and self sacrificing girl have wanted you to fade along with her? Or would she rather think of you as mourning her and then living again? Who knows where her memories have gone? You may be a dream to her now, but she would have wanted you to carry on and keep her memory alive in your heart?

"After all, would you want her to die if you passed on? I know you would not, you would be angry at her if the thought so much as crossed her mind and she would feel the same way. She loved your courage and your fight. I saw you both, a lot over the years Inuyasha; don't let grief rob your other friends of both of you and like I said, do her the honour of keeping her memory and deeds alive. For whatever she remembers or not now, it doesn't take away the fact that she lived and loved, here with us."

Sesshoumaru could actually hear the plink on the floor as huge, splashy tears fell unchecked from his brother's eyes. He wasn't making a sound, they just welled and rolled off his cheeks in large drops. Kagura didn't try to make them stop, in fact she encouraged him to let them out as she had once before when he'd refused to cry about his mother. This time though Inuyasha couldn't hold it, however hard he tried and finally he started to cry.

TBC


	23. Safe and Sound

Ch 23 Safe and Sound

Inuyasha actually cried for a very long time. He cried not just because Kagome had left or forgotton him; but also because everything was always so unfair to him. After all, he was back where he began; a lonely hanyou with no hope. Once he'd started, he couldn't stop himself as his misery and bitterness sometimes came out in words, although he was mainly incoherent. Sesshoumaru was glad they were in the private wing of the Palace, because his brother was loud enough to bring all the staff running to find out what the commotion was. As it was, Shingi had come to the door and knocked to see if everything was alright and Sesshoumaru had had to explain to his satisfaction, before the guard took his leave.

Kagura had got down on to her knees along with Inuyasha and was holding him when eventually he started to calm down; then she forcibly pressed his head down on to her shoulder and held him to her as a mother would. Now that he'd stopped the screaming side of his grief; Inuyasha's whole body was shaking with sobs he couldn't control and eventually Sesshoumaru had to take over and hold him tightly, just to try to get him to stop. He encouraged his brother to take deep slow breaths and it seemed to work; for after a few minutes, Inuyasha had cried himself into sleep.

Sesshoumaru lay the boy down on the futon and Kagura lay next to him; with her arms holding him close again and Sesshoumaru got down behind him, holding them both. He was letting his strong youki surround them all in a protecting and safe aura. The Tai Youkai was not bothered by Inuyasha laying against his pregnant mate in such an intimate manner; there was no scent of arousal between them. There was just the concern of a mother for a pup and for the first time in his life, Inuyasha felt completely safe as he slept in the warm embrace of two strong youkai who loved him. He did not know this yet consciously, but his youki did; even in his own mother's arms where he had complete love, he had not always been as safe from the threat of harm.

Finally all three slept exhausted; even Sesshoumaru who was feeling drained by his brother's emotions and escapades as well as his own normal business. At least having his mate and his brother exactly where he could feel and scent them, was reassuring to his youki and that gave him all he needed to sleep and recover his own strength. Shingi kept a self imposed guard on the room where all three were; grateful himself, that there was peace for a while.

In the morning once again Inuyasha was the first one awake and strangely he did not feel awkward as he found himself with his head on Kagura's breast, his arm round her waist or Sesshoumaru's arm over both himself and the Wind Youkai. He felt a welcome sense of belonging and should it prove false, he wanted to savour it as long as possible. Then he felt he was being watched and tilting his head, he looked up into Kagura's face; she smiled at him and pushed the fringe from his face with her gentle hand, then kissed him on the forehead.

"Comfy?" she asked with a smile and then giggled at his blush; looking over his head that still rested on her, at her mate who was now wide awake and had one eyebrow raised as he too smiled at her. Then Sesshoumaru scented Shingi outside the door and called to him to enter; if the guard hid a satisfied smile to see the sleeping arrangements of his Lord and Lady, then he hid it well; only too pleased to see that Inuyasha was safe with his brother.

"Shingi, if there is a maid nearby would you request breakfast for my suite. Thank you." Sesshoumaru then turned back to view his family. Inuyasha was sitting up; but Kagura still had a hold on him as she held his hand and was stroking it in an absentminded way. Then there was the sound of running feet and Rin rushed in; not waiting for her knock to be answered. She pouted at seeing Inuyasha on the bed and came to jump on it as well. Sesshoumaru had noticed that Inuyasha turned his head away from the girl, hiding his face behind the curtain of hair.

He frowned, not liking the tension that he could see potentially form, so easily between Inuyasha and Rin; now he was aware of it, he would have to nip it in the bud. Then he felt the shame come from Inuyasha and realised that the reason the pup was hiding, was because the stresses of the night before were still very visible on his face. Sesshoumaru called Inuyasha to him;

"Come Inuyasha, you need to be refreshed before we see Setsuzentaru this morning. Rin you stay with Mama for now and start your breakfast when it comes. We shall not be long." He reached for Inuyasha and had an arm out to steady the pup as he got up; surprised that his brother didn't shrug off his help, but rather went with him quite meekly into the bathroom. Inuyasha was very subdued as he washed his face, the feeling of shame once again permeating his whole being; Sesshoumaru wanted to help him and hoped he would say the right thing.

"Are you feeling any better now Little Brother?"

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru, I went off something alarming...I don't know what to say..."

"Say, Inuyasha? Are you feeling better for it?"

"_**Better**_? I _shamed_ you; myself, I shall never measure up to my father's blood, I know. You needn't tell me." He did look a mess, but Sesshoumaru lifted Inuyasha's face and brushed the hair away from his eyes. Then he got the sponge and gently wiped the boy's face clean as he would do for a pup. Indeed, that is all he still was in reality and it felt natural for Sesshoumaru to do this; just as he would when his own offspring arrived. For Inuyasha too, it felt strange but not as demeaning as he'd thought it would be. It was nice to be treated as if he were cared for, rather than the one who had to do all the leading and protecting. Sesshoumaru spoke again;

"Listen to me pup, I understand; we are Inuyoukai and our bonds go deep. I have known and loved Kagura for less time than you have known your miko; but if I were to lose her, my howls of grief would lift the roof off the Palace and I would wish to follow her wherever she had gone. I have said and done far too many cruel things to you in the past; you deserved none of them and if I could start again with you and erase all the hurt, I would willingly do so. You do _**not**_ shame our father's blood, or me...and you never have; it is I who diminished his greatness by not seeing what he tried to teach me, there is good and bad, greatness and wickedness in all forms of life. I know this now and I wish only to make amends and to have you love me again, as you used to when you were a small child."

Sesshoumaru had no idea where all that came from; but it felt right and was all genuine. He did not sound proud, or as if the confession were forced from him; his little brother deserved to hear this and the result was exactly right. Inuyasha threw his arms round Sesshoumaru's neck and clung to him for all his worth; once again overpowered by tears, only this time he was joined by Sesshoumaru who could not stop his own and didn't try. In fact he returned the embrace with enthusiasm, welcoming the feeling that his brother was back in his pack where he always should have belonged.

It was a great relief to both of them and they were allowed their privacy because Shingi who had come with breakfast himself, suggested that Rin stay away for a minute. He could scent them both and knew that they would not want the child disturbing them. Kagura too, although her sense of smell was no where near that of the Inuyoukai; did have excellent hearing and she could make out what was happening. She suggested that Rin have her breakfast and then go to play with some of the other children in the Palace; because Papa was going to be busy with Setsuzentaru and Inuyasha.

When the brothers came out from the bathroom with their faces washed, Shingi bowed low and announced that he would fetch the Eagle Youkai as he'd been requested. Sesshoumaru nodded and sat down next to Kagura, pulling Inuyasha down with him and sitting him in front of them. Kagura tried not to show her amusement as Sesshoumaru next took some fruit and peeled it, before handing it to Inuyasha for him to eat; she knew that neither of the boys would appreciate it. But she was very glad when Setsuzentaru arrived, as it took her mind off the pack behaviour that she hadn't really had the chance to notice before.

The Eagle also was amused but he had no trouble hiding it; long years of practice had enabled him to hide behind his gruff but approachable exterior. He was happy as well to see the indisputable signs of proper reconciliation between the dog chicks. The Inu no Taisho had been a good friend, a brave, intelligent being; endowed with great wisdom and the capacity to love and explore the differences of beings, whatever they were. He was ruthless where he had to be and expected his orders to be obeyed, but he was unfailingly kind when it came to females and children and inordinately proud of his son and heir. The desire to protect and save his human mistress and his second born child took the last of his strength; but he would have had no compunction in doing everything possible, to preserve them alive.

Setsuzentaru therefore could rejoice that this was how the Dog General would have wanted his sons to be; as the elder sibling provided tenderly, for the at the moment, vulnerable younger. He waited and observed as they continued their breakfast; oblivious to anyone finding anything unusual in their instincts. Inuyasha soon finished the last piece of fruit that Sesshoumaru had prepared for him and decided he'd had enough to eat and drink; then he washed his mouth and fingers ready to listen to whatever the eagle could tell him.

The boy was nervous, that much was obvious; but he sat resolutely waiting for his brother to be ready as well and when they were together, Kagura came also and sat holding her brother-in-law's hand. Looking between the brothers it was easy to see the kinship. Apart from the colouring, with the softer and younger look of the older chick caused by his recent remorse and empathic tears and the results of the complete meltdown suffered by the younger chick still clearly apparent; they looked much closer in age. Setsuzentaru shared a knowing glance with Kagura and then turned his attention to Inuyasha.

"You are confused aren't you chick? You have what seem to be fresh memories of things that must have happened years ago and yet you have no knowledge of the past three months. Is that correct?"

"Yes...But how did you know, even I wasn't sure what was confusing me?"

"As I told your brother recently, I have been the physician to many chicks and fledglings my boy. I have vast experience and just because you cannot remember what happened to you doesn't mean that nobody else knows."

"I suppose, but do you know the answer?"

"Yes, chick, but first I want you to understand that you may not like or believe what you will hear but don't worry it'll be alright. Would you like Sesshoumaru to tell you what has happened since you were attacked, he was there for most of the time?" Setsuzentaru smiled as Inuyasha nodded and looked to his brother, never letting go of Kagura's hand. Sesshoumaru noted this too and was reminded of the weight of responsibility he now had towards his younger brother. The boy may not fully realise it, but his experiences of the past three months had changed him.

He had become more relaxed in Sesshoumaru's company, more trusting; the fact that he had not had to fight to survive or even fend of his brother's punishments had helped. Inuyasha was now acting more the age that he really was and not so much the one he'd had to assume for years; that of the older, world weary survivor and fighter. Even his face had lost some of the harder expressions and he looked much more open faced with eyes that Sesshoumaru remembered seeing whenever the pup had asked questions; trusting his brother implicitely for truthful answers.

Eyes he also remembered he'd been able to cause to fill with tears very easily, because of his cruelty by word or deed. It actually humbled Sesshoumaru to see that he hadn't completely killed off that childish trust and this time he vowed that his brother could finish his growing up in safety and love. Many things had softened him towards Inuyasha, destroying the hard shell of hate that he had made himself and revealing the deeply buried love he had for his brother again. Rin had helped greatly; Inuyasha himself had also chipped away at various times until there was at least friendship again, by the time that the jewel was destroyed.

Now he had Kagura and a pup on the way, Sesshoumaru found that he was subconsciously thinking in terms of having three pups; his own, Rin and Inuyasha. The boy may be his brother; but had things turned out the way that they should have when their father died, with Sesshoumaru doing as his father requested and found the thing to protect; Inuyasha would have been raised by his older brother in place of the missing parent. It would not have been the first time that an older sibling had to assume a parental position and it wouldn't have been the last. Inuyasha though was still very young and so hopefully he had the chance now to correct some of the damage done.

Not that that would be easy, certainly the boy would not just knuckle down under Sesshoumaru's will, no son of their father would meekly give up the independence tasted and hard earned. Sesshoumaru would have to be a very skilled diplomat to aid his brother, it would be a challenge; but one he knew he could win and this time with care. If nothing else, Sesshoumaru was a Great Lord; versatile and clever...with the added bonus of knowing his little brother very well. But right now the pup with the unnerving open gaze needed his answers and it was harder to find a gentle way to put this, than it would have been to be brutally honest.

"Little Brother, when you were attacked by the slayers they not only used poison but they then struck a severe blow to your head rendering you unconscious. The man concerned was slain before he could finish his job, by the guard Shingi who you know is my most trusted soldier. He had been overseeing the...village in your absence and the Wolf Prince Kouga carried you back to the old Miko's hut for treatment and sent Shingi to fetch myself.

"You were unconscious for over a day during which time you slipped into your past, remembering episodes from when you were about four years old. This apparently is a fairly common occurence and gave no cause for concern and your head wound was treated very successfully. When you awoke however feeling much better, you did not recognise your companions and came out of the hut to search for me who you could scent; but instead, you found Shingi. As it was the middle of the night, he looked after you until the morning when your friends and myself came to look for you.

"It had been noted that while you seemed physically fit, your mind had not returned to your normal age and you were convinced that you were still four years old. I brought you home to the Western Lands and after a few days asked Setsuzentaru for his help. He explained that you had hidden yourself in your young childhood because it was only there that you had found happiness and the blow to your head had allowed your conscious mind to fall back inside yourself. We didn't know if you would come back at all. This Sesshoumaru bears much of the guilt for your darkness of mind and I do sorely regret it my brother."

TBC


	24. Getting Things Straight

Ch 24 Getting Things Straight

Inuyasha's expression was shocked and horrified;

"I thought I was four years old?...Then some of the things I remember are from this time and not real to me? How am I to know?"

"They are real Inuyasha, but you only thought you were a small pup at the time. But then something else happened and you aged to eight and then to about one hundred and twenty. You have memories of both those times that you are probably confused about as well. One of the nights when you aged again, was on your human night; of the day Kagura and I were mated."

Kagura was stroking Inuyasha's hand as he gripped hers almost painfully, although he was unaware of it. Once again his heart rate had jumped and he was on the verge of panic.

"_Three months_ of thinking I was still a child of different ages...who else knows..._everyone_?" Inuyasha flushed over his entire body and the shame was intense. "Hit on the head and I lose it completely...how weak can you get?" Now he was bitter and felt a total wimp, just as he'd always been led to believe he was. But Sesshoumaru had seen which way his brother's thoughts were headed and he caught Inuyasha's attention, by gripping his face with both hands; forcing the boy to look at him.

"You are not the only person that this sort of thing has happened to, after suffering a brain injury, Inuyasha. It is not unique to you, so stop blaming yourself. _Of course_ others know, I could _not_ keep you locked away and besides, it was nice being able to see you happy again and being part of the family."

"I must have looked a right fool; as if I need more things to be thought a freak about." Inuyasha was pouting and sinking into self pity when, SLAP! Kagura's palm connected with his face, to the surprise of all present.

"You are not helping yourself Inuyasha, by clinging on to your past thoughts and feelings; you have now got good feelings inside you, it is time to develop them and we are going to help you. So, no more; what has happened has happened and nothing can be done to put the time back and besides it has done good. More good than you yet realise; it has helped us to understand you more, so let's build rather than destroy. We have all had too much pain in the background, get rid of it now."

They all stared at Kagura and she blushed but Setsuzentaru applauded her.

"You are right my girl; Inuyasha I can help you put your memories in order, so that you can remember what is in your proper past and what rightfully belongs in the last three months. If you would like me to do so, that is." He looked intently again at the younger brother, past the embarrassed flush and pained cheek to the strong character that could tolerate so much for one so young; who strange as it may seem, was still holding onto his sister-in-law's hand for comfort.

"Keh! I don't want to stay confused all the time; not when I don't hafta." Inuyasha wasn't sure what he had to do; but the problem was solved for him when Sesshoumaru pulled him backwards into his lap, supporting his upper body against his chest and shoulder. Setsuzentaru didn't even suggest this time that Inuyasha lay on the futon; he knew that Sesshoumaru's instincts wanted to protect the pup, by monitoring what was to happen. He just nodded at Sesshoumaru's questioning look, that the position was alright and then broke a crystal under Inuyasha's nose.

Inuyasha's eyes widened at the strange scent, but he was held firmly to stop him fighting it and soon he was fast asleep; safe resting in the arms of his brother. The Eagle spoke first to Sesshoumaru;

"This will be more difficult than the first time, as Inuyasha is now in his right frame of mind. He will fight my intrusion to his psyche because, although he doesn't remember the time before; his brain knows that I am an intruder. You should also realise, he will have many questions when I am through; he will want explanations and will want to check things out with you. Are you prepared for this; he may need quite a bit of your time and understanding, as he will probably be uncertain? Can you be patient with him Sesshoumaru?"

"I owe him much patience Setsuzentaru, I will give him all he needs now." And Sesshoumaru settled his brother more comfortably as the Eagle Lord placed his hands around the pup's relaxed face. Inuyasha whimpered and whined, twisted and pulled; trying to get his head away from the relentless grasp of Setsuzentaru's hands. But to no avail, the Eagle Taiyoukai was much stronger than Inuyasha and held him easily. As far as Sesshoumaru could tell there was no actual physical pain for his brother, but the indications were of great discomfort. He had to pull a tight reign on his own youkai who wished to stop this upset of his younger brother; instincts were strong but reason was stronger.

It was several hours later when Setsuzentaru finally withdrew his hands from Inuyasha's face. The fight that the hanyou had put up had long been finished, but the drain was clearly to be seen on the Eagle. When he was released Inuyasha flopped to the side boneless and would have fallen forward if he had not been held up still by Sesshoumaru; he was worn out, for although he'd been asleep throughout the ordeal; his mind had been fighting. Setsuzentaru sat up straight and soon his eyes focused on the room and it's occupants again. He gladly took some refreshment to replenish his energy levels which had plummeted during the task.

Before he wakened Inuyasha again, Setsuzentaru informed Sesshoumaru of what he had done.

"If you recall how I described the chick's mind to you before; as a series of cloud like structures. He has many more lighter areas dotted around in the dark. They are not not yet coloured, because they are trying to blend with his previous knowledge; in other words, he is not trusting them fully. This is especially true for those of his later memories, where he was in grave doubts. I needed to find some of the memories of each time to put a tag on it, a loadstone if you like; one that will stand out as a marker that he can judge any others by, to let him put them in the proper place.

"I had to choose something that he could recognise, the presence of his greater height, speed, Rin, Kagura; these were obviously guides but I had to also show that your more consistent acceptance and care were also indicators for the recent memories. I could not possibly find all and tag all and therefore he will need to ask you if anything is ambiguous to him and it will be. Once this process has started it will occupy a great deal of his thought; he will still feel confused and he will need your care still. Let him sleep when he wants for the first few days, his dreams will help organise his mind."

"I understand and thank you for all you have done for my brother Setsuzentaru; I can never repay you for your help."

"Look after your brother properly and that is all the thanks I need. It is my pleasure to be able to help such chicks and fledglings, who are lost to themselves. If you care for him now and do not cause any more intentional pain, his memories will start to take on colour and be easier for him to distinguish. Now if you will excuse me My Lord and My Lady, I too need to rest." Then he broke another crystal beneath Inuyasha's nose and made sure that he came round with clear eyes and alert; then he left them, leaving the two youkai to care for the pup and explain all that had happened.

After making sure that the Eagle was escorted back to his suite and refreshment laid on in his room for whenever he so required it; Sesshoumaru also saw Kaede, who asked that she return to her village if Inuyasha was in no further need of her for now. This was granted and Shingi went with her and Ah-Un was loaded up with gifts for her from a grateful Sesshoumaru; furs and blankets, plus several ornamental rather than useful bowls and cups, that she had taken a liking to while she stayed at the Palace. With assurances that she and Inuyasha's friends would be received well if they should wish to visit and of course Inuyasha would be free to do the same; she made her way back to her home.

Meantime Inuyasha had started to try to make sense of the images that kept passing through his mind; but it was next to impossible and giving him a headache. Kagura kept him near to her and made him eat. When Sesshoumaru came back to their room, Inuyasha was once again deeply asleep on the futon; obviously set for the night, but it didn't bother his brother. Sesshoumaru would rather have him where he could be seen or helped if need be; he would have to get used to sharing his bed with his own pup for a while in any case. When the small knock came on the door, Sesshoumaru just sighed with the inevitability of it all and let Rin in; so she could also climb in and tuck up with them all.

They all slept well that night which surprised Sesshoumaru; he had thought that he would have been awake with all the extra heat caused by the extra bodies. Instead his youkai felt more contented than it had ever done, knowing that once again he was keeping his family safe from harm; they were his pack and had all been within his reach all night. Sesshoumaru knew that the wolves all curled up together in their pack, safe and warm in their dens; but he was very surprised at the strength of feeling that had laid dormant within himself, for the same thing.

He dozed on and off pleasantly for a couple of hours, only awaking fully when he sensed the dynamics of his pack had changed; one was missing. Inuyasha had got up silently and slipped out of the room; Sesshoumaru could scent that his brother was subdued but there was no hint of salt, so whatever it was that caused him to leave wasn't too distressing.

He went out to search for Inuyasha just to make sure his brother was alright. Seeing him sitting in a tree in a far corner of the grounds, Sesshoumaru gracefully walked to the tree and jumped onto the branch where Inuyasha was sitting.

"You were no longer tired my brother?" He watched Inuyasha shake his head.

"I needed to think and I didn't want to intrude on you all anymore." Inuyasha was looking far out across the grounds; his eyes fixed on a spot in the distance.

"You do not intrude Inuyasha, I have told you that this is your home for as long as you wish. _I_ wish that you will stay, you are pack and we need you here." He viewed the small wistful smile on Inuyasha's lips. "Come back Inuyasha it is still early and the bed is colder for us all, when a member of our family is missing." Sesshoumaru had decided to deliberately play to Inuyasha's inherent need to belong; only this time he was not doing it to torment his brother. Inuyasha went back with his brother but neither went back to bed. They were awake and decided to use the time to spar before breakfast.

It became the pattern for the next few days; Inuyasha couldn't help but fall asleep not long after tea and always he would find when he awoke, that he was in Kagura's and Sesshoumaru's bed tucked warmly between them and the girl Rin. He felt warm and safe and always wanted to stay; but he was a fidget and knew that he would disturb them and so he would leave and go to his tree, to think through his memories and dreams. Sesshoumaru would always find him and take him to spar and then breakfast; then sometime during the day they would talk and reminisce, Inuyasha's confidence that his brother would not find him stupid growing as the time went by.

They grew closer in understanding, Sesshoumaru admitted that he had not known what his so called friends were doing behind his back when they lied to Inuyasha as a real child. This came from the memory of the assault Inuyasha suffered at their hands recently and when Sesshoumaru killed them. It also had the benefit of taking the pain of betrayal away, from the old memory; as his older brother had not handed him over as a plaything. One thing led to another and the two brothers spent much time sorting and explaining; even apologising and forgiving, easing the pains of the past that both had suffered although in different ways.

When Inuyasha's stamina returned, Kagura suggested a picnic like they had all enjoyed in the beginning of their lives in the West. It was reckoned on being a good idea and Shingi was also invited for two reasons; one he was added protection for Kagura and two, Sesshoumaru wanted to encourage Inuyasha to learn to use his sword in a more controlled way. Sesshoumaru would not always be available to train his brother; but Shingi would and as he and the guard had learned together as pups, he knew that Inuyasha would be instructed just as he had been.

Every one enjoyed themselves, Inuyasha played as if he were a pup along with Rin much to the older youkai's amusement and both were ravenously hungry by lunchtime and then there was a flight on Kagura's feather. As they soared up high, they were once again joined by Sesshoumaru in his true form and then he barked at Shingi who also transformed. So it proved a very happy day all in all for them, as they were also treated to a show by the two huge Inu youkai sparring; using the whole of the sky for their display.

Then the sky above the dogs darkened as an immense shadow that came from the direction of the Palace hovered high above them. From out of the darkness two great talons reached for the dogs; each claw large enough to grip around their bodies, but then it passed them by and in a flash of youki transformed into Setsuzentaru. He enjoyed the look of awe on _all _of the upturned faces, smiling to himself; it never did any harm to remind some of these young fledglings of the true power and sheer size that the older Taiyoukai possessed.

"Lord Setsuzentaru, You have come to join our party?" Sesshoumaru asked with great respect. The Eagle smirked as Sesshoumaru acknowledged his seniority with the title.

"Unfortunately no, I have been called away to try to heal another poor soul and must depart. I am no longer needed for your brother, he is doing well and you are fulfilling your duties perfectly. No need to punish you at the moment. But I shall fly over from time to time and even if I don't stop and land, an eagle can see for many miles in close detail so I shall know how you all progress. If I am needed or you are concerned, I shall of course come to you again; you know how to contact me. Goodbye for now."

"I haven't thanked you yet Lord Setsuzentaru for helping me. I do so now, I will miss you."

"I was glad to help Inuyasha, just remember your brother is trying to help you as well. Trust in him chick. Kagura, look after your family and keep safe, I will see you all around...Goodbye." With that he transformed again, his feathers looking like the blackest cloud as once again he took to the skies and soared to the upper reaches; where he circled above them and with one final screech he was gone. There was a bit of a dampner on the party now, they would all miss the Eagle and his wise ways.

Sesshoumaru felt a bit lost; it had been a pleasent feeling to know that there was someone he could go to for advise on his brother and who also assumed a fairly paternal way in dealing with himself. Now he would once again be relying on his own judgement; but he soon shook himself, he was quite old and wise enough really, even if he was not in the same league yet as his father and Setsuzentaru. It was time to take his family home, Kagura and Rin went with him while Inuyasha held on tightly to Shingi; as the Inuyoukai once again transformed to get home before dark.

TBC


	25. Aquaintance

Ch 25 Aquaintance

The returning memories took no real pattern; talking about one would possibly trigger another of about the same time, but not neccessarily. Those of when he was a four year old were mainly sorted anyhow and there were not many from his newest age eight. Most of the ones that needed his attention were from the time he had been on his own in the cave.

Inuyasha now realised that those precious thoughts he had had, that he didn't want to share with anyone because they had seemed mere fantasy; were in fact real memories. Sesshoumaru _had _actually spent time with _just_ him, helping him learn to read better and sharing history. These were his favourite memories; for so long he had craved love and affection from his brother and these times had just been for him, nobody else; no Jaken and no Rin, just him and Sesshoumaru. There had been no harsh judgements of his abilities or lack of formal knowledge; just the gentle and sincere teaching, that had eased his soul of many hurts.

Inuyasha new that these were recent memories but he still wasn't going to share them; he was going to cherish them as _his_ treasures forever. It did not look like he would ever have time with just Sesshoumaru again anytime soon; not with the pup on the way and the girl Rin, already his daughter. Inuyasha was deep in thought when he realised that he was hungry and as dinner time was a long way off still; he thought he would try his luck in the kitchens to see if there was anything he could snack on. As he walked around the corner and into the food preparation area, he had another memory flashback; of himself and Rin covered in flour, making treats and getting under the cook's feet.

She however smiled at the young hanyou, remembering when he had used to come to the kitchens before, even before the time with Rin; when he had wanted to make little cakes for his mother sometimes. Cook found him some freshly baked bread and some cold meat and put them on a plate with some dried fruit; sitting him down at a table to eat his snack, while she and the others prepared the meal for the evening. He was nearly finished when he heard a small gasp and a girl he vaguely recognised came over to him and sat down opposite.

"Hello again." she said as she reached across to touch his hand; not a bit deterred as he pulled back shy and confused.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you; do I?" He asked politely.

"I was one of the ones that was rescued from the slaver with you, by Lord Sesshoumaru. You must remember, he told us we were all free and that we could come here if we had nowhere else to go. It is good service here, but I must admit I was worried about you for a while."

"Why would you worry for me?" Inuyasha was still confused, his mind had buried this horrid experience deeply.

"I thought you must have been caught escaping; he said you were already under his protection. I thought you were a runaway and that he might beat you for leaving his service; I...I asked him to have mercy on you. He did, didn't he? He seems the type who would forgive."

"You take me for a servant?"

"Well I don't know about servant, but you are a hanyou; I haven't seen you around and you _were_ going to be sold as a pleasure slave...I thought that perhaps...when the Lord picked you out so quickly... although there is a Lady of the West...but then again, I don't know much about the habits of nobility...I just didn't think you should be hurt anymore...I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn."

"You think I am Sesshoumaru's..._pleasure slave_?" Inuyasha asked in shock, before he rushed outside and once again threw up all he had eaten that day; the memory of the awful experience crashing to the fore in full. He remembered everything; all the humiliation and degredation. The violent reaction he had, caused him to pass out and one of the gardeners picked him up to carry him to his brother. The girl didn't know what she had done and the cook asked just what had she said to make the Master's young brother run out like a scalded cat.

The girl was terrified, the hanyou was _not_ a special pet; he was the younger brother of the Lord, no wonder he had become ill at her wonderings. What would she do now, where would she go; always supposing she lived for her insult? She didn't have long to worry about what would happen to her now; for upsetting the hanyou; Sesshoumaru came immediately to the kitchens to find out what had happened. He suspected poison as Inuyasha had been outside the kitchen retching; the pup was in the hands of the healers at the moment and if poison was the cause, there was no time to lose in finding the perpetrator.

What he found instead was a frightened girl; with huge eyes sitting and shaking at the small table, unable to look him in the eyes. Understanding dawned as he recognised the same girl who had begged clemency for the hanyou boy, she had thought a personal slave. He was not angry with the girl and had to reassure her that she was not in trouble, before she would become coherent enough to confirm his suspicions. No she had not known that Inuyasha was her Lord's brother and because of all the circumstances of the slaver, the fact the boy was so good looking and that she hadn't seen him around in the servants quarters; she had assumed that he had a suite of his own, where the Master would visit him.

Sesshoumaru now knew that he was going to _have _to deal with _**that **_memory with his brother; Inuyasha's reaction had been the same as when he was brought back from the slaver the first time, so he suspected that his brother hadn't recalled the incident until now. The girl confirmed that as Inuyasha hadn't remembered her, she had tried to jog his memory. She had succeeded, Sesshoumaru informed her coldly; but he would not do her any harm, she had not intended to hurt his brother with her insinuations.

Once again Sesshoumaru went to visit Inuyasha after he'd spoken with the healer . There was no poison she stated, the boy was just having a nervous reaction and would now benefit once more from some light broth. He nodded at her and went to sit on the bed with Inuyasha; the pup was not looking at him, pretending to be asleep and so Sesshoumaru patted his hand and left him for the time being. He went instead, in search of his mate; she was proving very wise and might have some suggestions for him.

Kagura could put a slant on it that Sesshoumaru had not thought of and probably neither had Inuyasha directly. Sesshoumaru couldn't understand why what had happened to Inuyasha was _still_ such a big problem for the boy. He had already told him that it was not his fault and it was not as if he had not seen his brother naked many times before; from since he was born.

"Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha is shy; brought up to consider his body as shameful and to be hidden. Modesty that he will have been taught by his mother is almost certain to have been corrupted by those who hated him. I don't know if he has ever told you this, but he has been molested at some time too; probably when he was only a pup. There are various signs he gives of this, he tends to go rigid if touched at first; if you hadn't noticed and then his reaction again today and there are others.

"If he were a female, or small child; you would understand what happened to him better wouldn't you? Yet he _was_ a child in mind and he was not just stood there naked was he? He was _exhibited _to you, his brother. _Displayed_ in a lewd fashion that he had no control over and this mortified him then and now. He feels he should have had the strength to fight what happened."

In truth, Sesshoumaru hadn't really noticed all of that; he'd just seen that his brother was immobilised and then went about the business of freeing him and the others. But he understood and went to talk to the untalkative Inuyasha. Inuyasha might be half human and have the human sensibilities about nudity but he was also half youkai and Sesshoumaru was going to appeal to that side of his brother and teach him what it meant if neccessary. Although he would bear in mind what Kagura had said; about the boy having been touched in some intimate way. He must have fought his attacker off however; because as he'd checked before by his scent, Inuyasha still retained his innocence.

Sesshoumaru sat on the edge of the bed again looking down on a 'sleeping' Inuyasha. He smirked at how childish this was, as Inuyasha must know that his brother could tell he was not really asleep. To test Kagura's thought, he reached to touch his brother's hand and noticed how it did indeed freeze; anger gripped him hard as he knew then that she was right. At first he'd thought the initial withdrawal was because Inuyasha was still wary of him personally; but this was not so, it happened with all and was so subtle that the whelp didn't even know he was doing it. Swallowing his anger so that Inuyasha didn't think it was directed at him was hard; but Sesshoumaru was used to controlling himself.

"Inuyasha, I know what ails you and we should sort this out." His only answer was to have Inuyasha open his eyes but turn his head away. Once again Inuyasha was going to test his brother's patience. "Very well Inuyasha; if you are not going to talk to me, you will have to listen instead." Sesshoumaru knew that even if he was silent, Inuyasha was listening, he never could keep those ears still.

"If you remember the incident with the slaver then you will remember what I said to you after. You were not to blame for any of the things that happened. There was no way your knowledge of the time could have warned you of what to expect and the incense was too strong for you not to be overpowered. The seal that was used, likewise was too strong for you to break free. Neither of these things is because you are weak, they were a weapon _designed_ to take you out."

"They shouldn't have got close enough to me, I was a fool."

"No, you were inexperienced and had been lulled into a false sense of security." Now for the harder part. "If you are ashamed of how you appeared subsequently, or of how you were offered up; there is no need. There is no shame attached to the naked body and I have seen yours enough times in your lifetime; besides, it matters not how anyone else perceives who you are or what your purpose. You are my brother and I rescued you gladly; along with those others who likewise were in a dire predicament, I want no more nonsense from you about what happened, do I make myself clear Inuyasha?"

"Yes...but I was humiliated, to be shown to you like that; then offered to you for...I thought you would despise me."

"Inuyasha, if you had come across This Sesshoumaru as a child; overcome by enemies and offered to you as a...slave, would you not have aided me without giving me the blame?"

"Of course, but that's different."

"I fail to see how, that is exactly what happened; all I saw was my Little Brother who'd been taken from my protection and whom I wanted to get back safely, Oh and Inuyasha, that would have been the same even if it had happened in your past." The straightforward talk was just what Inuyasha needed and he sat up with a smile and leaned against his brother; letting Sesshoumaru pet his head and ears. "I only wish I had been there to protect you from the other time you were assaulted Inuyasha, I would have disembowelled any who touched you."

"How did you know?..It was not long after Mama died, he took me to his hut and kept me chained up. I was there for days. He...he touched me, but but he never did anything else; at least I escaped before he could. I attacked him when he was going to... he was vulnerable anyway. I think he thought he had me worn down by then; to do what he wanted, he had to let me off the chain and I damaged him badly with my claws. Then I ran again, I never trusted anyone after that; I knew what he was doing was wrong but no one was going to care if I said anything, so I just kept going. I don't know who he was."

Inuyasha found himself crushed once more to his brother as Sesshoumaru hugged him tightly.

"Never let anyone call you weak; Inuyasha; the things you have survived to live this long and yet remain a good and kind pup, would have killed so many others. I am very proud you are my brother and yet what right do I have to call you so or take pride in your achievements. You have triumphed without any help from me, yet I am so proud."

"Oh Sesshoumaru, of course you helped; it is only as I grew older that I know you must have had someone look after me when I was a pup in some way, I would never have survived completely on my own. I am not that much of a fool." Inuyasha got another hug for that and felt happy and safe again and he was ready to go with Sesshoumaru in for his evening meal.

At dinner Inuyasha seemed happier than he had been in a long time, certainly considering he was in his normal state of mind and that made dinner a cheerful affair for which Kagura was grateful; as was her mate, but that was not quite so obvious. Then Rin made a seemingly innocent observation; she had been feeling the pup kick in Kagura's belly and was excited at the thought of the birth.

"He will soon be here wont he Mama? Will Papa get a bigger futon, cos there won't be enough room in ours for Inuyasha as well; when my baby brother is born?"

"Rin, you talk too much sometimes and about things that do not concern you."

"Sorry Papa, I was just thinking that's all."

"The pup is still a couple of months away and the futon is easily big enough for us all." Sesshoumaru glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye, but Inuyasha was eating normally as though he hadn't heard any of the child's comment; but at bedtime it was clear that he had. He would not go in with them; firmly stating that he was quite able to sleep in his own room now, he was no longer under the influence of the mind probing that Setsuzentaru had done. The girl was right in any case; when the pup was born, he would need the space and Inuyasha liked to stretch besides. He'd been thinking that he should move back in any case.

Neither Sesshoumaru nor Kagura was fooled for one minute, but there was nothing they could say or do to make him change his mind; Inuyasha had a stubborn pride which had always stood him in good stead up till now and he would not stay anywhere, he felt he might be unwelcome. That night Rin didn't sleep so well; she had got used to being squashed next to Inuyasha who usually tucked her right in to himself in his sleep and she felt a bit as though she now rattled, between Kagura and Sesshoumaru.

In turn Inuyasha had curled up into a corner of his futon with pillows stuffed all around him so he didn't feel the emptiness of the bed quite as badly. Sesshoumaru sighed as he checked on his sleeping brother and cursed the very faint scent of unshed tears.

TBC


	26. Visits and Explanations

Ch 26 Visits and Explanations

In the morning Inuyasha was found in his tree as usual by his brother and as usual he sparred and went into breakfast. He was well rested and quite cheerful as he said that he would like to go and visit his friends. Sesshoumaru had no grounds to deny him his wish and indeed had promised Kaede that Inuyasha would be welcome to come and go as he pleased. The fact that Sesshoumaru had a sense of foreboding about him leaving would not sway him to stay and Inuyasha decided to leave before lunch.

It felt strange but good to once again be leaping through the trees; although he missed the weight of Kagome on his back and the fact that she would not be there when he reached his destination. But he was coming to terms with the fact that she was gone and in any case she did not remember now, who he was. She was happy in the future with a warm and loving family and he felt guilty whenever he wished for her presence again. But he shook his head clear of any negative thoughts for now and came to the village of the slayers where he was sure of a warm reception.

He was not disappointed; Shippou was the first to see him and he yelled out a greeting that sent both Sango and Miroku running to the gate to let him in. In the nearly four months now since Naraku's demise; they had done a lot to the village and many had started to come and settle there. Inuyasha noticed a few suspicious looks at him; but they vanished when Miroku announced who he was. Soon Inuyasha was sitting in their hut eating a large bowl of stew served from the community's cook pot. At the moment with such a small group, everything was still shared; from the chores to the major work, but it left them a tight knit, family like village.

That evening was pleasant with stories and tales to be told, Inuyasha was much in demand to tell his side of things. But he declined, being modest and said that Miroku told the better tale and he would correct it if need be. Sango and Miroku had a lot to tell him; they were expecting their first child and had rebuilt their hut larger and warmer than before. Shippou contributed his perspective, by telling Inuyasha that they had added a room just for him and that they were letting the kitsune call them Mama and Papa.

"You are happy here then runt?"

"Oh yes, I feel I belong and I am safe; I miss you and of course Kagome, but it is nice having a family again and...I am going to be a big brother." Shippou whispered conspiritorialy in Inuyasha's ear; "I _know_ it's a little girl, but I'm not telling them that. They will have to find out for themselves." He chuckled at his secret and Inuyasha smiled too; it was good that the little cub had found a home. That night Shippou came and cuddled up to Inuyasha and the hanyou found he had to comfort the kitsune, who was remembering the times they all travelled together with Kagome.

He was finding it hard to keep his own composure listening to Shippou, but he managed to stay strong; especially when Kirara came and transformed, curling herself around them both. The next morning it was fine and promised a hot day ahead and Inuyasha volunteered to lend his great strength where it might be needed. All day he laboured and helped out; pushing the work forward in leaps and bounds. Winter would be a lot easier with enough wood to make huts for all and to burn; now that the hanyou had cut enough trees.

Two days later, it was time for him to go and he wanted to visit and see that Kaede was well, before heading back to the Palace. Shippou was loathe at first to let him go, but Sango and Miroku told Inuyasha that he would be more than welcome any time he wished to visit; but he noticed that they did not invite him to stay. Were they so certain that he was happy in the Palace; that they hadn't even asked him how he was doing? Turning to wave one last time, he saw that they had already closed the gate behind him and the only one who was outside watching him go, was Kirara.

He whispered to them a final good bye and set off for the village that they had all called home at one time. He arrived in time for the evening meal and brought a couple of rabbits, not wanting to go empty handed to Kaede. She was just on her way back to her hut when Inuyasha arrived, he saw the villagers waving to her and greeting her as she passed by. Kaede was well loved and respected both as the Miko and for herself. She was kind and wise and always had time for her neighbours; coming to see them day or night, if need called her.

His heart warmed as Kaede smiled at him, it was a genuine smile of pleasure such as very few had given him in his life; not many were really happy to see a hanyou, even if they had put up with him for the sake of the humans in their pack. When she reached him she opened her arms and embraced him; not caring who might have seen her and he was touched to his soul as he carefully returned her welcome. Kaede took his offering of rabbits and started the meal; watching him as she bustled about. She was an expert on body language and she remembered Inuyasha from before he was sealed to the tree and he wasn't so careful of his image, around the child she was then.

The hanyou was tense although he was beginning to relax and Kaede didn't bother him with useless questions; she just let him be to talk if he wished, knowing that he would do so later and in his own time. Inuyasha was very hungry by the time the rabbits were ready; he'd spent his time waiting and listening to Kaede chat away about the goings on in village life, letting it go in one ear and out the other as she knew he would and remembering the times spent here during the hunt for Naraku. The scents still lingered in the hut and he could isolate them all; but they did not give him the peace he was searching for.

Over the meal he told Kaede of the time in the slayer's village, how it was growing and the fact that Sango and Miroku were expecting a daughter and had adopted Shippou. She also heard the things he left unsaid. The fact that they were now so occupied by the goings on of their own lives; that they hadn't had time or inclination to ask about their friend and how he was now. Kaede then changed the subject and spoke of her time in the Palace as she helped to look after him; the care she had seen from Sesshoumaru for his brother, even when it had been misunderstood.

She also helped him to see that his brother wanted to help him and not just from obligation; after all Inuyasha could physically look after himself now, he didn't need to be offered a home in the Palace. Inuyasha opened up a little more to her and even let her pet him to show her love for him and he leaned in to her comfort with a sigh, remembering the times that she had stayed with him until he slept; making sure he was not alone and frightened. That night once she was asleep, he came and leaned his head on her lap again and went to sleep himself.

He awoke to feel Kaede stroking his hair and humming a pup song to him and he stayed resting for a few minutes more; just enjoying the attention. She smiled knowing that he was awake but pretending she didn't, until he moved to sit up. She got up saying nothing; but got his breakfast ready. She was surprised when Inuyasha of his own accord, put his arms round her waist and gave her a hug; resting his white head on hers and saying _'thank you Kaede'. _

Kaede recognised that Inuyasha was acting a younger but more correct age, than he had seemed to be when the group travelled together and that was an improvement; it must mean that he felt safe at the Palace. The Miko reached behind her and up to his head to pet his ears laughing gently, as they twitched out of his way.

"Ye used to amuse me for hours by flicking thy ears when we awaited Kikyou, all those years ago child; do ye remember?"

"I remember, you followed _me_ like _Rin_ follows Sesshoumaru."

"Aye child, I did. But for different reasons. Do ye remember chasing the butterflies to make a cloud of them flutter round me and wearing the flower rings I made for ye." Kaede smiled at her memory then said; "Are ye still jealous of the girl? He now calls her daughter, does he not?" There was a pause as Inuyasha realised that Kaede knew some of how he felt about Rin.

"He does, I would not harm the child Kaede, you know that."

"Tis not what I asked of ye though, is it?"

"No, I try to leave the past behind Kaede; it is what we all want, but sometimes the feelings don't quite go away. I don't know what it is; I am totally accepted I know, by my brother and yet when I look at the girl, I get a deep pain that knaws at me."

"Not enough time has passed Inuyasha for it all to go away, ye must be patient but ye must confide in thy brother; he is wise and will understand and not condemn ye."

"Will he?...Will he understand and not condemn? She is his daughter; if he thought I might harm her because I...resent her, I would no longer be welcome under his roof."

"Thou art mistaken child, thy brother loves thee dearly. I suspect he always has, although I know ye have mainly seen the bitter side to his love." She was saddened but not at all surprised by his disbelief.

"If whipping me till my bones showed and I could not draw breath to even cry was showing me his love, perhaps it is hate he shows the human child; for I'm pleased to say she has never so much as been tapped, by my brother. I was only four when he first used his whip on me, although that was not the occasion he hurt me so much."

"Oh Inuyasha, I never knew that it had been that bad for ye; I thought twas mainly neglect he showed."

"No, _neglect _would have been easier, it was when he _remembered_ he had a bastard half brother that I suffered; if not at his hands, it was others though Kaede. You know how it is for hanyous. But he did have some of his soldiers look out for me I recently found out; so he must have had _some_ conscience about me."

"Thou has forgiven him _all _he did to ye Inuyasha? Truly, ye harbour no grudge or resentment that could fester if neglected?"

"Surprising isn't it; but Sesshoumaru doesn't lie and I can smell his sorrow, he even wept and he has been kind. He would never debase himself to try to fool _me_ like that. I found it easy then actually."

"He lied about your mother when he tried to find Tetsusaiga."

"Technically yes, but in fact it was Jaken's idea and Sesshoumaru endorsed it. It went against his high principles though and is the only time. I can tell when someone lies."

"Good, I am glad. I also want you to know that you will always be welcome to live here in the village; if you found yourself in need of another home."

_'Only while you live; old lady, would that be true.'_ Inuyasha thought to himself; but didn't say, as he smiled his thanks to her for the kind thought and knowing that she too knew the truth of her statement. Inuyasha stayed for a few days with Kaede; comfortably in or on her hut and just as he had done at the slayer's village, he made himself useful with his strength wherever it was needed.

While Inuyasha was on his visits, life at the Palace was much more routine than when he was around; things were orderly and 'just so'. _'Boring'_ thought Rin; she was missing having a conspiritor around, helping her to tease Jaken or her Papa and he was spending more time with Kagura as she got further along in her pregnancy. She hadn't fully understood all that had happened during the last few months; she knew that Inuyasha had been sick and seemed like a little child, but they had got on very well then. It was only in the last part when he had lived outside in his cave, that he had started to look away from her; rather like she remembered him doing when they had first met, when she started to travel with Papa.

Rin had a lot of time to think about why Inuyasha didn't seem to like her and it was upsetting. She didn't know what she could have done; even though she could admit to herself she had said things a bit meanly to him, if her Papa seemed to be taking more notice of him than her. She found it hard to share her Papa, but she was going to have to learn now that he had Kagura and the pup on the way. Rin could however see the benefits of having a proper family with a Mama and Papa again and she was really looking forward to being a big sister.

When Sesshoumaru came out to find her, having noticed that she appeared a bit listless; she ran to his arms and asked why Inuyasha had gone away, was it because he didn't like her anymore? Her Papa held her close and explained that Inuyasha had gone to visit with his old friends and that he didn't understand her question. Inuyasha did like the girl, Sesshoumaru had watched them playing together. Rin was not convinced and told him that she had noticed that the hanyou had started to act like he used to when they would meet occasionally on the quest; when he would not look at, or even notice her at all. What had she done then or now? It hurt her to be ignored like that.

Sesshoumaru decided to let Rin know why Inuyasha acted strangely around her, he thought that it might help her to see for herself. She was a clever and tender hearted girl and as long as he didn't go into too much detail, he thought she was old enough to understand.

"When Inuyasha and his mother came to live at the Palace, my beloved father had not long died in saving their lives; I was quite young and resented them for that. However for some reason Inuyasha became attached to me, following me and emulating me as far as he could. I in turn ridiculed him for his humanity and treated him harshly at times. As he grew older, that only got worse and eventually his mother left to go back to her people taking Inuyasha with her. Not long afterwards she died and he was cast out from the village to fend for himself."

"Like Rin was? With no mama or papa?"

"The same, do you remember how you were treated by those who could have looked after you at the time?" Sesshoumaru saw her involuntary shudder.

"Rin will not forget. They hurt me."

"Well I did the same thing to Inuyasha, but far worse and for far longer; youkai age so slowly that he could not defend himself against me for many years. I who should have cared, did a great deal of damage to him; mentally even more than physically and yet he still kept his love for me and wished things could change. When you first saw him, we were still fighting; but it pained Inuyasha deeply to see me care for and even defend and perhaps love a human child to whom I had at the time no ties, when I had shown him my own brother, nothing but hatred and disdain."

"Rin understands that feeling. My big brother once told me that I could not play with him because I was just a weak little girl, but he had a friend who had to use a crutch because he was lame in one leg. But I was stronger than his friend and could run faster, but it made no difference and he would go and play games with the new boy and I wasn't even allowed to watch. Once he even pushed me over and grazed my leg. I know how Inuyasha feels; to him, I am the new friend aren't I?"

"Yes Rin and it will take some time for Inuyasha to understand, he is still quite young really and it amazes me that he still feels love for This Sesshoumaru."

"That's easy, you're his brother."

"So simple Rin?"

"Yes. You're sorry and won't do it again and you are making him feel better; of course he will still love you. I could never hate my brother, even when he was being mean to me." Rin smiled her loving smile at him and his heart clenched. It must be the humanity full of hope, that allowed this love to not die; under such dreadful treatment, that the girl and more so his brother had endured. But he was glad it did.

"I hurt him didn't I, when I said there would not be room for him in our bed?"

"I fear so Rin; he feels he has been replaced by you and that you are accepted where he is not. It is something that only I can rectify; but I wanted you to understand why he finds it so hard to look at you now." She gave him a hug and kiss; then jumped down after telling her Papa to bring Inuyasha back soon, so that he could play some more with her.

TBC


	27. Two Steps Forward

Ch 27 Two Steps Forward...

Inuyasha didn't hurry on his way back to the Western Palace; he was actually enjoying the trip, the weather was pleasant and it was nice to be able to just wander and think. Think about the fact that he had a home now to go to; with his own room and his own albeit few, possessions. It was not a borrowed room or one shared on the road; it was not just a roof or tree branch. It was his _own_ space to come and go in as he pleased and he'd even kept his old toys; squirreled away in an old box, but still there. Even if he'd not been sleeping in the room for a while, it still belonged to him. It was not the one he'd had when he lived here with his mother, which in turn had been set apart from the main royal suite; no, it was the second largest one in size and next door to Sesshoumaru and Kagura's.

Sesshoumaru had given him some money to take with him on his visit; not to buy hostelry because nobody would rent a room to a lone hanyou, but to be able to buy anything he saw that he would like, to make his rooms more personal to him. Cushions or bedding in colours of his choosing, furniture too if he so desired; anything he wanted and he could even have it delivered. The name of Sesshoumaru, Lord of the West would ensure that any of Inuyasha's purchases found safe passage to the Palace. He had not looked for anything on his way to visit his friends; but he now had the time and leisure to search the local town's large market.

Those traders who turned their noses up at the sight of the hanyou as he searched the stalls, did not turn their noses up when they saw his gold. Inuyasha was too used to such glances; but he was not used to having the power of money and was surprised when the market traders started to call to him to come and view their wares. There was so much to choose from; but Inuyasha, not having been used to owning anything but his clothes and sword, found he didn't want much.

He brought a big red cushion and a little writing table for himself as he had decided he liked to study and the table and cushion would be fine for him to sit and practice at in his window. The windows were really doors, that opened on to the private gardens and it gave him a sense of peace to sit there; it would be the perfect spot to write. He also found a nice writing set with beautiful wooden handles and an inkwell made of onyx; which he thought Sesshoumaru might like and so he bought it for his brother. Then he looked around for the rest of his family.

There were some haircombs for Kagura that were set with rubies to match her eyes and a lovely soft bodied doll with a real silk kimono; that he thought Rin would like. Last but not least, he found a baby's kimono in the softest cotton he had seen in a pretty pale green. That would do for the pup; he had his gifts wrapped in some bright silk squares and decided he would take these back with him, rather than have them delivered. The feeling was new and gave him a warm glow inside, he'd had money and could buy gifts; more importantly he had _family_ for whom to buy gifts, he belonged at last.

As he drew nearer to the Palace his excitement grew as he pictured coming home and offering his presents. Once inside the huge doors, he made his way to his set of rooms and placed the packages on the futon; where they looked very pretty and interesting. Then as no one seemed to be around, he took a bath and something to eat and drink. When he had smartened himself up, he went to look for everyone and was directed to a small glade that was exclusive for the royal family. As he neared the entrance, that was hidden along a pretty walk surrounded by trees; he could hear laughter.

Inuyasha couldn't remember hearing his brother laugh before and he sounded so happy; he could hear the lighter sound of Kagura and the shrill bell like sound of Rin. Through the gaps in the trees he could make out the obvious signs of a picnic and his brother was _actually _tickling Rin. Inuyasha stood entranced at the family scene he could see clearly and he smiled. Then the insidious self doubt he always suffered, started to creep in. Sesshoumaru had never laughed like that when he had been around with them all and they looked like the perfect little family already.

It struck him that Sesshoumaru had all he needed right here; without him and as if to confirm that very point, Inuyasha suddenly heard his brother's warning growl and it was directed at him; warning him away from intruding in a place he had no right to be, the youkai's eyes shining red. Inuyasha heeded the warning and turned away walking calmly back to the Palace, where he sat on his bed to think. He realised that it was Sesshoumaru's instinct that had kicked in to growl and that it was not personal; he was just warning anyone that he was around with his family and no one else was welcome. It meant as well that Sesshoumaru's youkai hadn't automatically recognised him as part of the family and suddenly that hurt a great deal.

One thing Inuyasha was used to though, was disappointment and he knew how to swallow the bitter pill; until he was somewhere safe and alone to deal with it. He was going to have to leave again and he would go to his cave. It should still have the things in it that he had been given a few weeks ago and would be dry and safe at least. Inuyasha picked up the presents he had got for everyone and left them in the middle of Sesshoumaru's bed and was about to leave, when he saw the wooden box that his brother had made for his stone family.

Deciding on impulse; Inuyasha picked up the box and in doing so, his mind took on a peculiar clarity and he knew just where he would go and what he would do when he was there. He left his brother's room and almost literally ran into Jaken; but he smiled sweetly and ignored the questions as he slipped out through his window and over the wall. Once again, Shingi saw him go and turned to find Sesshoumaru as quickly as possible; stopping only when Jaken got in his way to tell him that Inuyasha had taken a long wooden box from the Master's chambers.

Meantime Sesshoumaru was exiting the glade with Kagura and Rin, having suggested to them that he was going to be on patrol and that he wished for them to go inside and not wait on him for the evening meal. Kagura had raised her eyebrow at him but only got a whispered 'later' from him; she knew something was up but couldn't guess what it was. He had of course immediately scented the air for the intruder to his private space; once his youkai which had instinctively protected them all receeded and he had picked up his brother's unique odour. This would not have bothered, him except for the sharp spike in the fear he could smell; which then rapidly became ambivalent.

What concerned him more though was that Inuyasha had not just ignored him growling and come on in to join them; he had obviously taken the warning to leave, seriously. There was nothing to do but check out that his brother was alright and explain to him what had happened. Just after he saw Kagura and Rin enter their room, Shingi came over to him and told him that Inuyasha had left and had taken the box with him.

"He will go to his mother's grave my Lord without a doubt. Should you wish to find out what ails the young master, I would suggest concealing yourself from him and listening to what he tells the stones."

"You are certain Shingi, that this is what he will do?"

"Yes My Lord; he has taken the stones for a reason and he will talk to them. I know how difficult it is for him to tell anyone what is on his mind; but for some reason he could always speak to his little 'family'."

"An outlet that I completely ruined for him, my behaviour that day will forever haunt and shame me." Sesshoumaru received no answer this time and he expected none; that last time Inuyasha had played with his stones, was etched firmly on both their minds. As those thoughts crossed their minds, Kagura came out to them and held in her hands the parcels that she had found on the bed. Sesshoumaru swallowed hard and told her to put them back and not to let any be opened until he had found Inuyasha and brought him home.

Leaving Shingi at the Palace to guard Kagura and Rin; Sesshoumaru set out to follow his brother, transferring to his youkai light sphere he reached the grave before Inuyasha, although he left later. It gave him plenty of time to mask his aura and hide. Inuyasha was not in any hurry however; he seemed calm and deliberate and even smiled as he reached his destination. Then he sat down crossed legged in front of the marker stone and just closed his eyes, inhaling the familiar scent of the wildflowers and trees in the warm atmosphere.

Inuyasha felt very peaceful but not sleepy and he put the box down almost reverently in front of him and opened the lid. He took out the stones one at a time and noticed that the faces had been re-etched and not by himself; he could scent Sesshoumaru's claw marks and smiled ruefully;

"I appreciate that you tried to give me my stone family back Sesshy and that you have made the faces clearer. I can see that you have put more detail on Papa's face; but I can still feel the pain of that last time. It's true; as I hold each of you, my back is throbbing and my eyes and throat are stinging. Silly isn't it? I know you aren't going to hurt me like that again." Inuyasha lined the three faces up, with his father in between the other two and went to get some sticks. Sesshoumaru knew now that Inuyasha wasn't actually talking to him, but to his stone likeness; nevertheless he heard the message and wished again, that he could turn back the time.

Soon Inuyasha came back and once more sat cross legged in front of the marker; only this time he made little stick bodies for each of the heads and then reached into the box for the fabric he had used to make their garments. When they were 'dressed', Inuyasha smiled and wiped away a tear; more came however and in the end he gave up trying to stop them, it was just water after all and he wasn't crying or even feeling upset. In fact he wasn't feeling at all, so he didn't understand the tears.

"I have missed you so much; I had no one to talk to for a long time after you were gone and I'm sorry I blamed you for not stopping Sesshy, when he got so mad at me. You are happy now though Sessh, you have a neat little family with the pup on the way; I'm glad that Kagura turned out to be right for you. It was a bit of a gamble to get her brought back, but she didn't deserve what happened to her anyway; if you two hadn't made a go of it, she'd have found someone who would love her I'm sure.

"I gave Sessh his arm back Papa; I know it was disrespectful to cut it off in your tomb, but he would have killed me and Kagome if I hadn't been able to stop him. We defeated Naraku though, all of us and Tetsusaiga helped me lots; I'd have died hundreds of times if you hadn't left me the sword, although I'm sorry that Sesshy wanted it so badly and you didn't have the chance to explain to either of us your reasons for what you decided.

"I've been injured recently and lots of things have changed in the last year. It's been much better for me. I have been visiting my friends; they are all settled now that Naraku is dead, the village is growing. Shippou belongs now to Sango and Miroku, they have adopted him like Sesshy has Rin; It's good for the brats because they will be part of a proper family, no longer rag tag orphans like me. They were pleasd to see me but they were very busy; I helped out at the village but they were a bit too busy to talk about what I was going to ask. So I left and went to talk to Kaede. She is kind Mama, I think you would have liked her.

I miss you Mama, I could always talk to you. You would have understood about how I feel about Kagome and all that has happened. Sango was sad that Kagome won't be there when her baby is born; but what could I say, I wanted her to be the _mother_ of my pups. She will never know me now and...that is how it should be, but me; I am so lonely that it crushes my chest so hard I can't breathe. I'll soon be forgotton by everyone.

"They are all settled now Mama; everyone has got someone, except me. I am on the edge of everything; none of the families need me, they are all happy living their lives; even Sesshy who is being been kind to me, he has his own pack started. He won't be long kicking me out again though. I can't help it Mama, I know I'll never be good enough but I still resent Rin and even though I would never hurt her; he might think I will. Kaede thinks I should tell him how I feel and he will help me; but I wouldn't put up with me, if I was him.

"Today Sessh, your youkai didn't recognise me as family even with Papa's blood but it accepts your human child. I know I should be grateful that some of you will care about me but I can't stay wondering if everytime you look at me you are sneering at me inside and wishing me dead again. One day, your youkai might decide to finish the job for you.

"I can tell you that I am scared can't I? Scared now that all my life I'm going to be hunted and alone; not having any purpose. I know what it's like and I'd hoped it was finished; but it never will be. I don't want to be alone again; always on the outside and borrowing from other people's lives." Inuyasha finished speaking to his stones and looked at them; laughing at himself without any real humour. "Anyone would think I'm still a pup, if they could see me now."

He looked at his stones and gently caressed each one lovingly; giving each one a kiss. Then he put the cloth back in the box and removed the rosary from around his neck and kissed that too; before putting it in the box as well. Then he lay down next to his mother's grave and curled around the stones holding them tightly next to his body and seemed as if he were going to sleep. Then he whispered;

"Take me with you Mama, let me come; no one really wants me and I don't want to be alone again...I won't be missed. Please don't leave me here all alone... please." With that Inuyasha passed out; his final whimpers were the last straw breaking Sesshoumaru's heart. He swooped down on the sleeping hanyou and picked him up; angrily brushing away the tears that dared to fall from his own eyes and speaking to the unconscious boy through his gritted teeth;

"Oh no you don't, Inuyasha; you tried this once before and you are not going to do it again. I will not let you again withdraw from life; yours or mine." And he carried Inuyasha back to the Palace as he had done before.

TBC


	28. Sesshoumaru Takes Charge

Ch 28 Sesshoumaru Takes Charge

"Inuyasha, Inuyasha; damn you come back, come back to me right now." Sesshoumaru was nearly frantic and as he leapt the wall to the Palace with his brother held close to him, everyone got out of his way. The healer was already on standby in Inuyasha's rooms and was in earshot when Sesshoumaru called to her after laying his brother down on the futon in his room. She examined the boy thoroughly; testing his reflexes and listening to his heart rate. Her verdict was that there was nothing physically wrong with Inuyasha; he was however getting colder and his breathing rate was slowing down. He had to come out of this or it might continue to dangerous levels. As to getting him to come around she was not sure; but it was certain that he could hear, as his ears were swivelling as they were picking up sounds.

"Talk to him My Lord; he has been under great stress recently and I think he is finding it difficult to cope with all he has been through. I remember when he was very young and living here, that he was quite a sensitive child."

"I never considered that he was sensitive, merely young."

"No My Lord, he is very intelligent and was often exposed to things he should not have seen or heard. He kept many things to himself so as not to worry his mother or you. Many's the time we have seen him with his ears close to his head and worried about things happening around him. He was a favourite among us; a bit of a pet you might say." This was news to Sesshoumaru; what other things had happened to his little brother that he himself had no idea about. "It is perhaps easy to forget that because he is half human, such things affected him differently to full youkai; in fact they still do."

"I have always known my brother is half human; do not insult my intelligence."

"I am sorry my Lord I do not mean to speak out of turn, but as a healer it is my job to study different beings; knowing something and understanding it can be two different things. You understand your daughter; well, a lot of the time Inuyasha 'feels' in just the same way as a human but he can deny it as well as any youkai. I conferred with Lord Setsuzentaru about our young Lord many times and I know that he was more concerned for Inuyasha's human soul. If you can speak to him; reassure him as if he were as human as Rin, because it is that side of him that is insecure; I feel sure that he will listen."

"Very well I shall try."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, forgive me; I am _your_ healer as well as your brother's and I have known you both from puphood. Talk to Inuyasha and hold nothing back from him, he deserves and needs to know how you really feel for him to fully believe you. He is so full of self doubt that no matter how sincere your carefully constructed sentences are, he _will _read the wrong thing between the lines. You must be completely open with him so there can be no doubt on his behalf; I know this will be difficult for you but..."

"This Sesshoumaru understands your meaning. I shall do all I can." The healer knew she had been dismissed and took her leave saying that if there was any change in his young Lordship that she should be called immediately. Sesshoumaru inclined his head in a show of assent and then went to sit by Inuyasha. He stroked the hair from his brother's face, marvelling at how young and innocent the pup was when asleep. The relaxed features showing his age more truthfully, than when he could school them into their more normal rigidity. He was just a pup; what with the fifty stolen years where he could not learn and mature, the age gap between them was just extended. Not by much; considering how youkai aged, but noticeable.

"Inuyasha, come awaken; I know that you can hear me." Appeal to his humanity; it was true, he'd always know _how_ to hurt Inuyasha but he'd never thought for long on _why_ it hurt him. Debasing him for his heritage, Sesshoumaru had never been able to understand that it had hurt him; scarring his heart for even longer. A youkai would do what Inuyasha did; which was get angry back and fight. Sesshoumaru knew that he could make him angry but hadn't fully realised that his words caused the pain to linger and fester for so long. He realised that it was true however, that humans were particularly more sensitive than youkai; because he had to be careful around Rin.

There had been occasions when a light remark, had had her thinking for days about any hidden meanings; she had not let go the one about being remembered when she died, for days. Even when the little hints of her thoughts had ceased, Sesshoumaru knew that it had often come to her mind and her face would sadden at the knowledge that one day she would leave her Lord. He had always known that Jaken could upset her and that is why the imp often had rocks thrown at his head and yet for many more years, Inuyasha had been subjected to far more and worse things.

When Sesshoumaru had ever looked sternly at Rin she had been crushed and desperate to please him so that he would not remain angry with her; he remembered Inuyasha being the same, although he had rarely shown the boy that he'd been forgiven. Inuyasha's youkai had convinced the child to carry on at all times and it had obviously enabled him to hide well, all the hurt; but it had not obliterated it. Now the human in him was not to be denied any longer; it needed to be healed. Inuyasha must awaken or how was Sesshoumaru to help him?

Sesshoumaru was still stroking his brother's hair while he was thinking and now something was different. As a full superior youkai, his senses were greater than human or hanyou and he became aware that his brother had regained consciousness; but was still feigning sleep. _'Have it your way pup' _he thought; just relieved that his brother was awake. Perhaps it would be easier to talk to him if Inuyasha thought Sesshoumaru was unaware of his wakened state; '_whatever',_ the youkai thought, _'he is going to listen regardless'._

"You are such a foolish pup Inuyasha. Did you _really_ think I wouldn't come to get you when I realised it was you at the family glade? I would have growled at _father _until I recognised him, why didn't you wait or growl back? Have you not believed a word I've said to you since you've been here? I know you remember them now." He paused wondering what to say next and to allow Inuyasha to inwardly digest what he did say. But he did not stop petting his brother; remembering how the pup would lean into any caress that he gave in the past and how much Rin also enjoyed it, when he touched or even cuddled her.

"I heard you when you spoke with your stone figures. I understand how you feel about Rin and I do not blame you; do you forget that I too, knew jealousy and hate. They are such strong feelings Inuyasha and yet you conquered them better than I did. I will never throw you out because of how you feel, that is a promise; I know you well enough to know that we can work things out.

"You are my family too Inuyasha; not on the edge, right in the centre and that is where you will stay. How can you think that we don't need you? Rin complained when you had gone that she had nobody to annoy Jaken with and that she also was cold at night without you around. Maybe you do not wish to hear that but it is true nonetheless. Suddenly Sesshoumaru's throat tightened and he got angry with Inuyasha;

"And what about me Inuyasha, _my_ words that promised you that you would never be alone again and that you have a home here; how _dare _you say that I don't care or don't need you? You are my brother; my flesh and blood. Do you know what pain you caused me when I found you in the spring; covered in your blood and with your ears and arms shredded? Your words to me cut deeper than any I have ever heard before and I accepted them; knowing that I had driven you to that point, but not this time; not this time." He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him hard; then gripped him to his chest in a bone crushing hug that was in danger of depriving Inuyasha of his air.

"You're such a little fool; I could kill you for doing this to me. Never leave me Inuyasha or I'll never forgive you." Sesshoumaru felt his brother's arms come round him returning the hug and he squeezed his eyes tight shut against the tears that once again, forced their way out. Inuyasha felt the scorching drops and his own fell silently, between them and his brother's aggressive and possessive behaviour he felt safe and was able to tell Sesshoumaru this; while he basked in the feeling of being wanted by his brother. Tears from Sesshoumaru were not to be discounted and said far more, even than his words and Inuyasha remembered the others his brother had shed for him; only a few days ago. The black clouds over his heart lifted and he accepted his brother's words.

"I promise Sessh; I wont try to leave again, not if you want me." His answer was another hug but strangely Sesshoumaru wouldn't release him. "I can't breath Sessh"; still no reply. A slight sniff was all he got, but it was enough for Inuyasha to understand; "It's O.K. Sessh, I don't think any the less of you, I know you're strong; stronger 'n me." This time he got a chuckle from his brother and it made him feel really good to be able to make Sesshoumaru laugh. Sesshoumaru lifted his face, wiping at his eyes and replied;

"Never doubt that Little Brother, although I can always prove it to you should you forget." Sesshoumaru was idly stroking his brother's ears again, feeling where the damage had been done. Although he had helped the ears to heal; so much damage had resulted in scars that would take a long time to fully go and the soft white fur was still not covering them totally. Inuyasha was quiet as he knew what his brother was thinking.

"I didn't do it to _hurt _you Sessh and I didn't think my words would affect you so."

"I know...and perhaps that is why they did. I do not regret any of the things that I have done with and for Rin, Inuyasha; but I should have had you from the time your mother died, by my side; just as I have Rin and the fact I didn't, is my biggest regret."

"It's O.K. Sessh. I've been a bit of a brat myself, I know; can we start again? I can't promise to be exactly what you want in a brother but I will try not to piss you off too much."

"I don't want you to change who you are Inuyasha, just know you are safe and not alone and we'll take it from there." As he finished speaking, Kagura entered with her impeccable timing as always, accompanied by a maid who brought tea.

"All better boys, harmony restored? Good. Oh and Inuyasha, any more of this behaviour that leaves my mate worried and tearful and you will be over my knees before you can say Kaze no Kizu. My fan has very hard edges and spanking you wouldn't hurt _me_ in the slightest. Being pregnant suits me and gives me more strength ,but it's also making me less patient; Do I make myself clear? We love you very much and you will _not_ be allowed to forget it alright. We both think of you as if you were our pup, more than our brother; so watch out."

Sesshoumaru smirked as he watched his little pup brother give Kagura a huge but gentle hug by way of answer and was satisfied with her smile in return. He also watched very carefully when Rin came in bouncing as usual and went straight to Inuyasha to give him a hug as well.

"I missed you Inuyasha, you were gone so long that I had to play on my own and it wasn't so much fun. Did you get me a present? I saw presents but Mama said I couldn't have it until Papa brought you back. You are back now aren't you? You're not going away again are you? Please don't."

"Nah! I'm not going anywhere Squirt, your Mama has threatened to tan my hide if I upset your Papa again and I don't want that to happen do I? Come on, I did get you a present." He went over to the dresser where he could see the brightly coloured gifts and he shyly handed them out; getting hugs and kisses in return. The presents were a great success and gave Inuyasha every bit of the happiness that he had imagined.

Later on Inuyasha's other purchases arrived from the market and they all helped him to place the small writing table in the best place to catch the most light during the day. Kagura supplied a candle in a sconce to be attached to the top of the desk and Sesshoumaru provided pens, inks in several colours and some of his own paper to store inside the drawer of the desk. Then the cushion was admired, the rich red was a lovely splash of colour in the otherwise pale room causing Inuyasha to lament that he'd not got a couple more of them or a bedspread in the same colour. There had been several items on the stall that he could now see would have looked good.

Then that evening there was a welcome home meal for Inuyasha; a celebration that touched his heart as it had been too many years for him to count since anyone had celebrated him and another surprise awaited him when the stall holder returned. Sesshoumaru had commissioned him to bring back more of the things that Inuyasha had spoken off and he had also brought the matching curtains, should these also be desired. Inuyasha was stunned as he looked at his transformed room; this was all so new, getting things just like that without having to fight.

He was completely overcome when Rin came back and quietly brought the lantern from her own room and gave it to him because it matched everything and she had so far not contributed. Inuyasha couldn't speak as she set it up over by his bed, he could only watch as the child gave him her own possession. Her generosity all the more poignant because she like him, had owned almost nothing; before she was adopted by Sesshoumaru. He knew that that would have made it very hard to give something so precious, he still clung to the few things that he owned.

"Don't you like it Inuyasha, I thought it would match and it looks so pretty lit up?"

"It's lovely Rin; I'll look after it very well."

"Then there's no need to cry is there. But I know what it's like, it feels funny getting things doesn't it. I got presents sometimes from my first Mama and Papa but it was a long time ago, I nearly forgot." She gave him a hug then went to Sesshoumaru who was watching the entire exchange; just as he watched as Kagura as she once again embraced his brother speaking with soft words to him.

"The bad times are over for all of us Inuyasha. No more hard words or harsh treatment; no more living on crumbs. You and Rin have known such hardship but it is now over and will never come back. Trust in that and hold on to the love you now have." Then she wiped his eyes and kissed him tenderly. But, however nice the room now looked with it's bright and warm colour; that night, they all piled into the 'family' futon and slept well. Inuyasha and Rin were safe between two strong youkai, two orphans who now belonged and were protected and the two youkai were happy that they had their pups where they should be, protected in the circle of their youki.

TBC


	29. Visitors and Projects

Ch 29 Visitors and Projects

Several blissful weeks went by quickly; there were no arguments, no hurt or hard feelings and everything seemed to have settled down well. Sesshoumaru had taken the time from his work; as much as he could, to help the process and bond their unusual family unit together. He was the obvious head of his family apart from being the Lord in any case and he noticed that Inuyasha seemed to accept the fact without a fight. Indeed he had started to look on his older brother and his mate as surrogate parents; hesitantly at first but as time would go on, more and more obviously.

Not that he would ever settle down to be the model pup/brother that Sesshoumaru could have wished for on some days and thought he wanted; that was, until Inuyasha was very quiet and good and then Sesshoumaru got worried. But that apparently was what parenting was all about, he was assured by anyone he asked who'd had pups of their own. He had first asked his old healer one day, when Inuyasha was particulary docile and obedient and he'd worried that the pup was perhaps becoming ill; only to be told that he was probably just thinking. It was she who reminded her Lord, that he could always use his senses to tell if any of his family were sad or ill.

At the end of two weeks into the new household arrangements, Inuyasha had visitors; Kaede riding one of the village horses and Miroku, Sango and Shippou, the latter two on a transformed Kirara. Inuyasha and Rin had been called in from the far end of the Palace grounds; where they were building a new pond which they were going to fill with toads and newts for some strange reason, as far as Sesshoumaru was concerned. He'd readily granted them permission, pleased that they were able to do something together and because it was far enough away from his ornamental ponds that contained his beautiful Koi Carp to not be a disturbance.

The pair came in at a run and were covered in mud; Inuyasha's claws had obviously been used for the main digging part. The look on Sesshoumaru's face was worth every second, as far as his brother was concerned and he couldn't say anything; they had done as they were told, they had stopped what they were doing and come in. Nobody said anything about cleaning up before they presented themselves; but Sesshoumaru had the smirk, once Inuyasha realised that the visitors were _his_ friends and that he looked _exactly_ like a puppy who'd been digging a hole.

Kaede merely smiled knowingly to herself; just seeing him happy and carefree like that was a relief to her after the subdued way he'd been when she last saw him. Miroku just grinned and Sango and Shippou looked quite shocked, seeing the trail of muddy footprints that Inuyasha and Rin had left on the usually neat floor.

"I am certain that your friends are _used_ to seeing you in this light Inuyasha; but they might prefer to visit and take a meal with you, when you are more presentable." Sesshoumaru said in the voice that the companions were more used to. Inuyasha blushed deeply at the gentle reprimand much to his brother's satisfaction and with the characteristic 'Feh!', he charged of to bathe. "Rin, do you too, wish to appear before guests as if you were a savage?" Rin grinned and ran off to her maids; who were already hovering in the background, eager to get the girl decent again.

"They are digging a pond." Sesshoumaru stated, by way of explanation; looking down his nose at the very thought. The friends just smiled at one another and Shippou wanted to go and see it.

"Perhaps later Shippou, if Inuyasha and Rin don't mind; but right now we want to see and talk to him." Miroku said. Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow at this and told Shippou to go and find Rin if he liked, she had some toys he could play with until Inuyasha was ready to speak with him. A servant took the kitsune away to a room where he could play and wait for Rin.

"Your pregnancy progresses well I trust?" Sesshoumaru courteously asked of Sango, after Shippou had left."And the village is progressively rebuilding?"

"Yes, to both questions; thankyou, Lord Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha helped us a great deal when we saw him. He pushed the work along far more than we could have hoped. One of the reasons we are here is because we wish to thank him." Sango answered, although she was a little wary under his searching gaze.

"My brother is under the impression that you have all...'moved on', I think were his words; put the horrors of Naraku behind you now? That is a wise move; it doesn't serve anyone's interests to dwell on the past." His voice belied his words however and Miroku picked that up easily.

"The other reason we came was because we thought Inuyasha might have misunderstood our parting. He did, didn't he? Kaede thought as much and told us that Inuyasha was acting differently; much younger than he normally is, to his usual self."

"It is not for me to say how Inuyasha understood anything; should he wish to discuss it, is up to him. What I will say is, that my brother has been through difficult times for him and now is welcome and has a home here. I will resist vigourously, anything or anyone who tries to disrupt his life now."

"The child seems much more settled and happy My Lord." Said Kaede. "We, who also care for him, thank ye for what you are doing."

"Inuyasha is my brother Miko; I could do no less for him since he and I have settled all the old problems. Now he causes me new ones; ones I gladly accept. He _no doubt_ seems more childish than you are used to Monk; however it is the age he should be and he is going to be allowed to grow up naturally from now on. Perhaps _you_ will enlighten This Sesshoumaru as to why you bid farewell to my brother, as if you were pleased to see him gone?"

"Is that how he felt? Oh Miroku, poor Inuyasha." Sango was upset.

"Do not distress yourself overly Slayer, Inuyasha had many things that were...confusing him; not all of them from you. That time has now passed and he is quite happy."

"Oi, watcha cryin' for Sango?" Inuyasha had come back and to Sesshoumaru, who had seen the boy for the last few weeks constantly with a much more relaxed look to his face; it was very noticeable how he had taken on the older look of careless disdain, when he saw his friends. But his face changed yet again, when he heard her words; she flung her arms around him startling the boy, as Sango had never been one to easily show her feelings like this;

"Inuyasha, when you left the village I passed out. From over excitement the midwife said; when Miroku picked me up and took me back to our hut, villagers had closed the gate on you and you had gone by the time Miroku could leave me. We were afraid you might have got the wrong idea."

"Feh! As if Sango, it don't matter to me if you say goodbye; but is the pup O.K. You shouldn't have come if she is faint Monk." Inuyasha glared at Miroku who looked back serenely.

"Your friend is perfectly fine now Inuyasha." His brother said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his brother's denial of hurt. It was not for him to call Inuyasha out in a lie; if _his_ friends truly knew _their _friend as they should, they would know that his brother was gladdened by the explanation. Kaede also had a request for the Western Lord.

"The villagers would like to ask permission of ye Lord Sesshoumaru, to erect a memorial to the Miko of the Sacred Jewel and the Hanyou who protected her and to hold a celebratory day in the honour of all those who helped defeat Naraku. As the village is under thy jurisdiction, we needed to ask ye first."

"I grant permission for such Miko." He noticed that Inuyasha was very quiet at the news, but he felt it was time that his brother was recognised for his deeds. Inuyasha could deny all he wished; but Sesshoumaru knew that it would mean a great deal to the shy hanyou. Deciding that it was time to change the subject and divert Inuyasha's attention; Sesshoumaru called for refreshments and insisted that they would all stay at least the night, although if they wished they could stay for longer if they wished to continue the visit. They all understood now; that that meant, as long as Inuyasha was happy for them to stay.

And he was happy; Sango and Kagura swapped pregnancy stories with Kaede; Shippou helped Inuyasha and Rin with the frog pond while Sesshoumaru found out that Miroku could be more interesting, than the lecher he'd always come across as before. Inuyasha proudly showed them all his own suite of rooms and they were suitably impressed; admiring the elegance that was apparent, wherever they went in the Palace. Kaede noticed the dark flush on Inuyasha's cheeks however, when Shippou was thrilled about the idea of Inuyasha having the whole huge bed to himself.

So did Sesshoumaru and he went to place his arm around his brother; whispering in his ear that Shippou would be even more _impressed,_ if he knew Inuyasha slept with the pack. Inuyasha smiled then and went on to show them around some more and Kaede realised that Inuyasha must still be in the family futon at night, as he had been when he had first come back to the Palace; after he'd awakened in his proper mind.

Shippou was quite well aware though, that Inuyasha was not sleeping in his room at night; apart from the fact that he could scent that the hanyou had not slept in his room for a while, Rin had told him anyway. But as he curled up to sleep with Sango and Miroku, he was glad that Dog-Boy was at least being looked after properly; he understood that Inuyasha had really needed the closeness of his pack when they had all travelled together. Although he obviously could not have curled up with them as Shippou had done; none of the humans would have understood his motives but sleeping on his own in a tree was _not_ how a canine youkai should sleep.

For the first time Shippou realised just how alone Inuyasha had been before he was released from Kikyou's arrow; he knew the hanyou's history as they all did, but he hadn't really considered it before, wrapped up as he had been in his own personal tragedy. It brought him a new respect for Inuyasha; who had assumed the lead in their strange pack, supporting and protecting them all. Plus he was really impressed with the frog pond and had enjoyed getting covered in mud with the other two. So all the survivors of their little group were happy and had somewhere to belong and grow in safety.

Shippou liked his new life at the slayers village and the prospect of being an older sibling was making him proud and responsible. He had been introduced to some older Kitsune; who were known to new settlers in the village and they had agreed to teach and train Shippou to his full potential. Shippou was looking forward to becoming more effective and accomplished in his skills and understood how protective Inuyasha had felt of the 'weaker', human elements of his pack; although he would have more sense than to say that to either Sango or Miroku.

Inuyasha's visitors stayed for a week in the Palace; there was a lot to see and do and Sesshoumaru's hospitality was superb now he was not trying to kill them. Sango most of all benefitted from the rest; she didn't have to feel that she should be working and could stop whatever she was doing, whenever she liked. Sesshoumaru even organised a special meal for them, introducing the group formally to local lords and dignitaries who would then hopefully stop any problems that might develop; at source level, for the newly rebuilt village.

However it was Kaede who was the most bold and forthright towards the end of the visit as she spoke to Sesshoumaru; although it was perhaps not so surprising as she had never shown fear towards him or Inuyasha, only kindness and respect tempered with her own brand of authority. She had stood back and observed for most of the time; the close interaction between the youkai family.

"You have something that you wish to say Lady Kaede?" Sesshoumaru was extrememly polite, after all Kaede had helped Inuyasha a great deal. She nodded:

"Lord Sesshoumaru, should ye for whatever reason find ye cannot deal with Inuyasha and the child falls foul of thy favour again; please do not send him out alone once more, rather quench his light permanantly and immediately. He does not deserve the fate he so fears and has already suffered for most of his life."

"You speak very boldly and impertinently Lady. You doubt the truth of my word and my honour? My brother has my promise that he is safe and welcome here; you need have no concerns for his life anymore."

"Ye misunderstand My Lord and I mean to cast no doubt on thy honour; but should the child ever lose himself to his youkai and be unable to regain himself, I know he would rather not live that way."

"Should my brother succumb to his youkai, I would never cast him loose and would judge what would be in his best interests at all times. Does that satisfy you?"

"Aye and I thank thee for such assurance."

"You have afffection for my brother, Miko?"

"I have loved him since I first met him, when he followed after my sister Kikyou. I was a child besotted with his unusual beauty and he was as kind as he ever could be, with me. He was like a rough older brother then but now it is as if he were my grandson. In fact Rin reminds me a great deal of my younger self." She smiled and Sesshoumaru nodded as he understood her analogy.

The week ended and goodbyes were said, Inuyasha being much more tactile than they were used to, as he received hugs from Kaede and Sango; even Shippou got a squeeze. Miroku however waited until Inuyasha approached him and then welcomed the hug, returning it happily; he too had noticed over the years, Inuyasha's tension if he was touched first by any male and knew what that indicated although he never broached the subject. He'd come across many such abused children in his training to become a monk.

Then they were gone and the Palace seemed a little empty to Inuyasha without them; they were the first friends he had ever had in his entire life along with Kagome and apart from Kikyou. It had really hurt him when he thought that they were pleased to see him leave after his visit; but now the misunderstanding was cleared up, he was delighted.

The next day Sesshoumaru was perplexed at the sight of his gardeners who seemed to be walking to and fro across the grounds all morning. They were carrying stones, small trees and sometimes, it seemed to be bowls. He and Kagura eventually looked at each other and went together to question the Head Groundsman as to what was going on.

"Ah. My Lord it is just the young Master and Mistress have finished digging their frog pond and needed things to finish it. I have allowed them some of the excess from various points in the grounds; saplings that would have been dug out and thrown away in any case. They also wanted frogs and the spawn. As it is the correct season we have cleared out the ornamental ponds as usual and given the creatures to them for their pond. They have a few fish as well, all were spare and not required in the proper ponds. I er...understand there will be a Grand Opening fairly soon."

"What species of saplings do they have?"

"Well we had a few spare silver birch, a couple of straggly maples that weren't doing very well where they were, a cherry and some small shrubs."

"Very well, thank you for accomodating them."

That afternoon, Sesshoumaru and Kagura were invited to the Grand Opening of the Frog Pond; to be held the next afternoon, complete with picnic tea. The invitation was drawn by Rin and the writing was in Inuyasha's hand. Rin spent the entire next morning in the kitchen with the cooks preparing the picnic while Inuyasha finished off some carving he was doing. The two adult youkai were introduced to the delights of their children preparing for their entertainment and they felt all the trepidation that goes along with that.

TBC


	30. After the Holiday

Ch 30 After the Holiday

The Grand Opening of the Frog Pond was a great success. The kitchens, helped of course by Rin; had provided a veritable feast of a picnic and everyone who lived and worked in the Palace was invited to come to view the pond. It was a big pond and the new trees and shrubs had been planted, the birches coming right to the edge of it, casting their elegant reflections in the clear overflowing water. The frogs were visible and so was the spawn, rocks sticking out of the water and various pieces of wood that Inuyasha had collected from the forest would enable the tiny froglets safe sunbathing areas.

Inuyasha had made a small ornamental though functional bridge; that would enable easy access from one side to the other and would also allow Rin to sit and watch the pond, while dabbling her feet in the water. Sesshoumaru and Kagura had not come empty handed to the function; he had brought a large weeping willow tree to plant, with a bench to go around the trunk, that would offer a nice secluded area when it grew bigger. Kagura had brought a selection of various water lilies to plant.

It was worth it to Sesshoumaru to see the sparkle in his daughter's eyes as everyone enjoyed the picnic and to hear her gasp of delight, as hidden coloured lanterns were lit in the shrubbery. Inuyasha stood back with his arms folded as Rin showed off the pond; his face was relaxed and happy, as he let the girl take the limelight. Sesshoumaru came to speak to him.

"You have both made a good job here Inuyasha, it has transformed this area of the grounds."

"Feh! Your pup wanted the pond; I just helped, it was her idea."

"You are too modest Inuyasha, the bridge is beautifully carved and the layout is aesthetically pleasing; you show a flair for design." Now Sesshoumaru was pleased by the flushed face of his brother; as Inuyasha accepted the praise. He was not used to such; especially from that source and so freely and genuinely given. Sesshoumaru had now praised both pups and regardless of Inuyasha's claim that he had only helped Rin, his brother knew that they had _both_ enjoyed the project and his recognition.

By now the fireflies were dancing and flitting across the water and some of the frogs had started to sing. The little family was all that was left now; sitting on blankets by the pond. Shingi was in the shadows keeping quiet guard as always; his eyes twinkling as he watched over them all, amused at the unspoken connection between Jaken and the frogs sitting and croaking in the pond. Jaken was as usual being his normal obsequious self, grovelling around Sesshoumaru and Kagura ready to do anything that he was asked.

Although he was much nicer now to Inuyasha, Jaken couldn't hide the pride that he felt in his Lord and Lady and the fact that their pup would be full youkai; he was always predicting how strong and beautiful the child would be, having such wonderful parents. Unfortunately for him, the loud praise did not stop him from receiving rocks to the head from Sesshoumaru or the odd blast of wind from Kagura's ever present fan, that would blow him into one of the nearby ponds; accompanied by laughter from Inuyasha and Rin.

When Kagura was tired, they started to walk back to the Palace; she leaning heavily on Sesshoumaru with his arm protectively around her. Inuyasha smiled at them; a sweet tender smile, that Sesshoumaru caught sight of and he pulled his brother to him with his other hand and kissed his head. As they watched Rin dancing around them, still on a high from the success of the pond; Sesshoumaru had never felt happier or more content. Kagura felt his peace and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Inuyasha gently pulled away from Sesshoumaru to allow the couple their privacy and he shot off; chasing after Rin and catching up with her, he boosted her onto his back and raced around the grounds with her laughing in delight. The older two looked on in amusement as the others played. It was good for Inuyasha; he had never had any time other than a brief period with his mother, when he had ever played. Fighting for his life and having no companions for most of his years, had left him with no knowledge of light hearted play. Now with Rin, he could convince himself that he was just going along with her, to keep her amused.

"I finally understand my father completely, there is no greater gift than this; surrounded by my family. To think that once it made a difference to me, to whom they were born; I cannot believe how shallow that idea is. Father knew that to protect someone is strength in itself, he tried to teach me that; it has taken till now for me to feel that strength and power and all because I have Inuyasha and Rin, you and the pup. My family...and I could so easily have lost all, to my own pride."

"Do not let that thought spoil your mood my love." said Kagura as she sensed the slight sadness that was infusing his youki. "Just make sure that our pups all know how you feel; perhaps tell Inuyasha about understanding your father, he deserves to hear that." she smiled at him as he nodded; noting with pleasure the fact that Kagura too, felt that Inuyasha and Rin were her pups as well as his.

Rin and Inuyasha were waiting for them inside; she could hardly keep her eyes open and a huge yawn cracked her face, Kagura soon had her handed over to her maids to be bathed and readied for bed. As she was dealing with Rin, Sesshoumaru caught some hesitancy in his brother to follow him into the bedroom.

"You are worried about something Little Brother? Feel free to speak."

"Sessh, it's been really nice; but I can go to sleep in my own room now."

"Is that what you wish to do? Has anyone caused you to feel that you should no longer be with us?" Sesshoumaru was getting angry at the thought that someone might have been trying to undermine his brother's newly grown confidence in him.

"No, no nothing like that, it's just...well it's yours and Kagura's bed, you might want to...you know...you're mated and it must be...it's impossible if I'm there isn't it..I mean I have more senses than Rin...she sleeps deeper than me...you've had no privacy with me here." Inuyasha was beet red and Sesshoumaru was highly amused and grateful that his brother was still such an innocent.

"Inuyasha, answer me this; do you wish to sleep alone or do you prefer the company of the pack? Forget about our privacy and tell me what you wish for."

"Of course I _prefer _sleeping all together; I've always hated being alone; It's nice feeling everyone close."

"You feel warm and protected. Safe, don't you?"

"Keh!" Inuyasha hated to admit it, but he did feel safe sleeping between his brother and Kagura; especially on his human night, now that he trusted his brother. Plus there was no denying that Sesshoumaru was much stronger than he was whatever form he took; even his full youkai could be destroyed by his brother if he really had to be. Sesshoumaru looked thoughtfully at his brother in understanding; he knew most of Inuyasha's expressions and what they meant.

"It is pack instinct Inuyasha, to sleep together; it had been so long that I had forgotton what would happen when the pack got together. If Father were here, he too would be sleeping with us; together, we are less vulnerable as we sleep. It is a deep rooted instinct that is not always followed these days; yet it is a good custom. When Kagura and I wish to be...private, we have other rooms. This one has become our family sleeping room, where we come to sleep; whatever we were doing before hand. You do not have to stay if you do not wish, but you would be missed by us all if you chose to desert our bed."

"Like the wolves." Inuyasha stated quietly.

"Indeed."

"I will stay, if you're sure I'm not in the way."

"Get to bed Inuyasha and go to sleep now, you think entirely too much." And an astonished Sesshoumaru watched, as his little brother did just what he was told; curling up in the futon and going straight to sleep without a care in the world. He was soon joined by Rin; who snuggled in next to him and then by Kagura and Sesshoumaru as always, either side of the younger two. Sesshoumaru was so contented with the arrangement that Kagura could hear him almost purring to himself and she smiled secretly in the dark; knowing that she wouldn't tell the strongest InuYoukai, that he sounded like a cat who'd got the cream.

Soon the pressures of work reared their ugly heads and Sesshoumaru's holiday was over. He had to spend a lot of time in his office with correspondence of all kinds and listen to boring ambassadors. He would much rather be with his mate right now or, he glanced out of the window watching Rin chase after the ball that Inuyasha had thrown too far as usual and wished he could join them. But as the days settled into more routine, Inuyasha soon lost his playmate as Kagura decided that Rin needed the more formal education, befitting the daughter of the Lord.

Her education had not been neglected up till then, Jaken had been most diligent in following Sesshoumaru's orders and Rin knew the basics of reading, writhing and maths. But it was not enough, she should know diplomacy, needlework, dancing ,singing and music among others. Rin was looking forward to her education, she wanted to be accomplished. So for most of the day, Inuyasha had to amuse himself; which was nothing new to him.

He already practiced his swordsmanship with Shingi most diligently; after having been shown up by a very old youkai when he'd said he knew how to use his sword. He, the defeater of Naraku and countless other youkai didn't need lessons. Shingi knew of only one way to convince the cocky hanyou and called in his and Sesshoumaru's old instructor to demonstrate his meaning. Inuyasha forgot his manners and laughed at the elder; or rather Shingi, who merely raised his eyebrow as Inuyasha prepared to battle with the old man.

By the end of twenty minutes Inuyasha who was only wearing light training hakama, was thoroughly trounced; the old Master didn't even use a training sword, but a flexible cane. But Inuyasha had to concede that the point had been made; if he'd been in a fight, the hanyou could have lost even with the power of Tetsusaiga. Some of the training he was refusing, could help him when he was human; so it was not to be taken lightly. Shingi had let him off any more training that day and had helped him to his room where Sesshoumaru was standing waiting.

"If it's any consolation to you Inuyasha, he can be faster than myself and both Shingi and I were taught the same lesson in the same way as you; as was Father before us."

"Father too? How old is the Master?" Inuyasha looked up at Sesshoumaru with damp eyes, the stick had stung a geat deal and he wanted to ease the hurts in a deep bath.

"No one knows how old he is; Lord Inuyasha, but he was younger and stronger then and he made your father howl. By the way, that is what your father told us when he came to see us; after we had been shown up. We were wailing too, so there is nothing to be ashamed of."

"So long as you have got the point Inuyasha. Training is for your own sake. Now, I have put a herbal blend in the water which should go some way to ease your discomfort." They helped him into the water by flinging him in bodily, then went out smirking; but it was a sobering painful lesson and one Inuyasha learned quickly, just as his father and brother had before him. Now he was making fine progress with Shingi and had even trained on his human night in the dojo; as he trusted the guard with his vulnerable time.

But there was only so much training he could do each day; besides Shingi had other duties around the Palace and Inuyasha had another idea for a project, one he would have to do himself in any case. So to the bemusement of his family, who sometimes caught sight of him carrying various pieces of wood that he had gleaned from the forest; Inuyasha was busy again on another secret. He would not tell any of them what he was doing and had coerced his brother into letting him have a lockable room to work in.

Sesshoumaru didn't mind giving his brother the room; it was good that he had something to occupy himself and it had stopped the slightly lost look that Inuyasha had developed, since everyone else had been busy. Inuyasha allowed no one in to see what he was doing and sometimes he wasn't seen from morning to night unless he was ordered out to eat by the cook; under threat of Sesshoumaru being told that he was not eating properly.

He was very nearly finished with everything, when he heard commotion outside and came out of his workroom to find that his sister-in-law had gone into labour; so he quickly went to clean up and find his brother. Sesshoumaru was calm as ever; he had sent Rin to her maids and her school work as usual, but he was grateful to see Inuyasha. Kagura was fine at the moment, there was still a long way to go; but her waters had broken so the pup was definitely on his way. Sesshoumaru had Tenseiga at his hip just in case and Inuyasha seemed to be more nervous than he was.

"Calm down Inuyasha, Kagura is strong and has been in excellent health for her pregnancy; or are you _trying_ to make me anxious?"

"Of course not! It's just that the hard part is coming up; are you telling me you aren't the least bit concerned for her? I don't believe you."

"I am as concerned as anyone could be; but I temper it by remembering she is a strong and healthy youkai and that childbirth although strenuous, is natural."

"Yeah well..." Inuyasha didn't go on to say that he'd known of too many women in his lifetime, travelling from place to place who'd died during the 'natural' process; losing not only their lives but frequently those of the babe as well. His presence had often been blamed as the cause of the death and he'd had to flee for his life on many such occasions. The other trouble was, perhaps it was true; perhaps he was bad luck and he'd better go before disaster struck Kagura and the pup. "I'd better leave Sessh, I don't want anything going wrong."

"What are you babbling about now pup? What ridiculous notion has got into your head this time?"

"Nothing, just experience that's all; trouble seems to come where I am." Inuyasha didn't really know how to explain, but Sesshoumaru could put two and two together easily and knew of the times that worried Inuyasha.

"You are concerned you are bad...'_Karma'_, Inuyasha? Humans are just more frail and usually not so well looked after, from what I have seen; plus they start their females bearing children when their bodies are barely out of childhood themselves. Let me tell you something, humans still produce in vast numbers and still die whether you are present or not; nothing you do or do not do changes that. You will stay and keep me company while my mate has our pup; please."

The 'please' stunned Inuyasha, he was not quite convinced by Sesshoumaru's logic; but he would never ignore his request, feeling proud and understanding that his brother wanted his company and knowing that there was still concern from Sesshoumaru, or else why had he fetched Tenseiga? As the morning waned, there was more activity in and around the birthing room; Sesshoumaru was now not allowed in with his mate; although they could not have stopped him, should he have defied the decorum of the time.

However, Sesshoumaru was distracted enough from Kagura's cries by Inuyasha's whimpers which echoed hers. What with trying to stop his little brother from worrying too much, it managed to keep the youkai from trying to get to his mate. But as he had said, Kagura was fit and healthy and soon they heard a shout from her and the answering cry, unmistakeable as that of a newborn. Both brother's stared at each other before sniffing at the air that held no hint of death, only new life and Sesshoumaru actually grinned at Inuyasha; his eyes alight with excitement. Inuyasha congratulated him; staggered at the look that transformed his brother's face, making him look younger and much less austere.

TBC


	31. A New Pup

Ch 31 A New Pup

Soon the midwife allowed Sesshoumaru into the birthing room, presenting him with his son and heir. Inuyasha was called in too by Kagura and was soon taking in the sight othe baby greedily. When Sesshoumaru finally placed the pup into his brother's arms, Inuyasha saw that his nephew had the silver hair of all the Inu's; but his eyes were darker than either his or his brother's beneath the silvery blue, that would eventually clear to show a more golden brown, than amber. He had the blue crescent moon of his father, but only one stripe to each cheek and they were the cobalt of his grandfather; as were the stripes to his wrists, hips and ankles. Only the colour above his eyes matched Sesshoumaru's.

Inuyasha was entranced by the small pup, he was perfect; he could see some of Kagura in the shape of his eyes and set of his mouth, otherwise there was no doubting his paternity right down to the tiny points of his ears. Inuyasha was suddenly full of love for the little scrap of a youkai and he made him a promise; whispering to the pup as he kissed him.

"I promise that I shall protect you with my life and that no harm will ever come to you if I am alive, little Sesshy. You will never know hunger or fear while I have breath in my body." Inuyasha held the pup tightly, as the little one stared up at him silently; as if listening to every word. Sesshoumaru was greatly moved by his brother's words and was touched at the promise for his son; who perhaps at one time, would have been encouraged to despise the very one who offered him so much now. Inuyasha turned round sheepishly to Sesshoumaru saying;

"I know it sounds foolish, when you have everything and can protect him so much better than I can; but it is the only thing I have to offer." He was then pulled into a fierce embrace by Sesshoumaru, who wondered what it was about his little brother that seemed to be able to make the tears form in his eyes so easily; when the only times he'd known the phenomenon before, was when Rin died the second time and before that his father.

"Your forgiveness is truly remarkable Inuyasha and I have a promise for you. You shall never regret your life with us and you will always have the love and protection of your family as it should always have been; My Brother." As he spoke his fangs lengthened and fast as lightning, he moved and bit Inuyasha in the neck; leaving the stunned Inuyasha with a proper pack mark; before he did the same to his pup. Sesshoumaru then explained to his brother afterwards, that pack marks should be done at birth to protect the new pup for it's lifetime; but they were just as effective if done later.

Inuyasha was speechless, never had he felt so much a part of the family as he did now; despite the pain which was greater for him than the pup, the mark made him feel more that he belonged. He stared up at Sesshoumaru; his eyes expressing all that he could not verbalise and he received a loving smile back. Then he laughed as the pup had grabbed a fistful of silver hair in each fist; one from his father and one from his uncle, although it ceased to be amusing to either brother when the pup yanked on the hair and gurgled happily. But Kagura laughed too, finding the whole thing vastly amusing and telling them that someone should go and fetch Rin.

She came in at a run squealing with joy at the news; only to fall silent as Sesshoumaru placed the pup in her careful and loving arms. She was awed as she traced the markings on his little body, then nuzzled him and asked if her baby brother had a name yet. Sesshoumaru and Kagura had been speaking together as Inuyasha watched over Rin and the pup; he looked over at them and said;

"His mother and myself have decided to call him Ginyukimaru."

"I like it Papa, it's a good name. We have presents for him Mama; can he come and see them...pleeeease." she whined. Kagura smiled and said, of course; but could they wait a couple of hours. She needed to rest that much as her youkai blood helped her to recover; she would do so far quicker than her human counterparts and would be able to walk around in just a little while.

"Come on brat, we'll go and leave Mama and Papa for a bit and come back later. I'll bet you're hungry now; we'll go and annoy Jaken and get him to bring us some food at the Pond." Inuyasha and Rin left to find food and Sesshoumaru looked at Kagura to see if she had noticed what his brother had said as he claimed them as his parents aloud. It was the first time he'd done that where he could be overheard and Sesshoumaru didn't know if it was just a mistake.

"Do not worry about it my love, he probably thinks of us in those terms often in his head; but if you annoy him you can be sure he will still call you by your name, accompanied by some derogatory terms. You have an unusual relationship it's true; but I think at the moment he likes having the father figure he can rely on and ask questions. I am sure that you'll find as he gets older and more secure, it will become more brotherly again."

"I do not mind how he views me in the least Kagura; but I wonder if he notices himself."

"Does it matter? Do not draw attention to it, you will make him self conscious; possibly make him feel insecure."

"No; it does not matter and I will not do anything to make him feel stupid, my love and thank you for being so wise and clever. Especially where my beautiful son is concerned."

"Which son would that be My Lord, the one you've recently recovered or the one I bore?" Kagura smirked and Sesshoumaru got on the bed with her and his son and caught them both to his chest kissing them and holding them tight. That evening was joyous and the family celebrated with the staff of the Palace who all added their congratulations and had given the gift of a crib, which was most definitely fit for their new prince. It was light and ornate but strong; with barley sugar twist spindles and the wood at the head and foot was inlaid with precious gems and metals using the symbols of Sesshoumaru's house. To go with it were the softest blankets and sheets that could be found and over all, a wonderful fur pelt; the Prince would never suffer the cold.

The new parents greatly appreciated the gift, knowing that it would have cost everyone a lot of money to have commisioned this piece; but were astonished to learn that it had been made on the premises by their head carpenter and Inuyasha working together. That made it more beautiful in everyone's eyes and both Sesshoumaru and Kagura knew they were blessed with such highly valued and trusted servants. Indeed, most of the staff had been hand picked by Sesshoumar's grandfather and they and their families, who'd been absorbed into the household as well; felt safe in the Palace.

They were very loyal, weeding out potential trouble early on. Sesshoumaru was a strict, but just ruler; over his lands as well as his household, it was part of what made him so powerful. Traitors were very few and _never_ tolerated; Sesshoumaru's justice was swift. Most servants were pleased to see the young Master back in favour too; even those who did not approve of the hanyou's birth at the time, had come to have affection and concern for the little Inuyasha as a person in his own right. Many were shocked and horrified at his treatment at his brother's hands, when the child's guards would tell of the cruelty the pup suffered. But they stayed loyal to Sesshoumaru and times were hard for hanyous, they were just pleased that it had now changed.

Rin had given a shawl made of the finest lawn and embroidered by herself, she had been working on it in her classes and was justly proud of the result. Little Ginyurimaru was wrapped immediately in the shawl by Kagura and held proudly in his father's arms while Inuyasha gave another gift. This he had made completely on his own after getting ideas from Kagome's time. It was a rocking chair for Kagura to nurse the pup; with low arms and two padded cushions, one for the back and one to sit on. It too matched the cradle with it's twisted spindles and some inlaid jewels in the head rest.

Kagura was overwhelmed, she sometimes couldn't help remembering how awful she had been to everyone who now mattered so much to her; no matter that Naraku held her captive. Now this was so much, to be accepted and loved by those who'd she thought her enemies made her weepy; plus her hormones were still out of balance. Inuyasha saw her tears with horror;

"I'll take it away if you don't like it, Kagura; only stop crying."

"Inuyasha, they are wonderful gifts, all of them; my mate is just very happy and we wish to thank all of you for such generosity and kindness." Sesshoumaru said to him and to all."

"Silly child, how could I not like it, it's so beautiful and perfect. You have a hidden talent I think." Kagura pulled Inuyasha to her in a hug and kissed him fondly; smiling as he squirmed and blushed. During all this time the new pup had been quietly gurgling happily; he was obviously happy and contented and not a fusser. Inuyasha came over to see if he could have another hold and was pleased when Sesshoumaru placed the pup in his arms; he was captivated by this tiny creature who looked so like his brother and yet had obvious traits of Kagura.

Inuyasha had never seen a baby up this close before and he was intrigued as to how two people could cause this miracle to happen; he was not totally ignorant about the facts of life, although inexperienced, he knew what went where. After all animals 'played' in the forests where he'd lived and sometimes human lovers would make use of the freedom that the forestation provided. But it was a more spiritual thing that he meant. How did it happen and _why_ did _**he**_ feel such love for this whelp? More love for this newborn pup than he had even felt for Shippou; who he would have treated as a son. It gave him much to think about; as the tiny miracle who didn't care a jot about what his uncle was thinking, smiled up into the bright amber eyes that were full of love for him.

Sesshoumaru regarded the uncle and nephew closely; Inuyasha could never hide anything from him, he knew every scent and could read every emotion, they were as plain as day to him. The Taiyoukai knew that Inuyasha would keep his promise to his nephew with every ounce of his fibre; loyalty was a strong trait of the Inuyoukai, but he could also see the great love that his brother had for the pup. Inuyasha turned smiling but shy eyes to his brother and asked a most strange question;

"What does it feel like to be a dad Sessh? I mean it's incredible enough being an uncle."

"It is the most wonderful fulfilment Inuyasha; I can scarcely comprehend it yet, but I know that my bond to my family makes me feel even stronger and I will let no harm come to any of my pups, including you. One day you will know such joy and strength." Sesshoumaru finished quietly, not wanting to hurt the boy by reminding him of Kagome; but curious as to why Inuyasha was shaking his head in denial.

"This is the nearest I shall come to having pups Sessh. No one now would mate a filthy hanyou; the only one who loved all of me and would have done, is gone forever. My own line was never meant to be; as you so often truly pointed out." He sighed wistfully; hugging the little one tightly. Sesshoumaru was saddened that his words of the past could still hurt Inuyasha; but he could not expect that sometimes the past wouldn't push it's way into their lives. Inuyasha was trying hard but somethings were just too deep seated to be gone in a short period of time. Inuyasha did not know of Midoriko's words and Sesshoumaru didn't think it right to tell him yet; not until he found the girl, wherever she was and that could take centuries.

"You are far too young to give up hopes of parenthood Inuyasha; you are scarcely more than a child yourself in youkai terms and as for no one being able to love you again in such a way, do not dwell on it, you cannot know how things turn out." He came and put his arms around both the older and younger of his pups, offering the comfort that Inuyasha craved; realising that the love starved hanyou, soaked up all such displays of affection just as he had as a tiny whelp. He was grateful when Inuyasha leaned in to him; as it proved that the memory of the past hurtful sentiments, had not tarnished the relationship that they had now.

The next event that the newborn pup would have to face would be his Presentation and Naming Day. The invitations were already written out and just needed to be delivered to all the Lords, youkai and human who were deemed worthy of Sesshoumaru's notice. This would traditionally be a calender month from the pup's birth when he had shown he was strong enough to survive outside the womb.

By the time his ceremony day came, he had proved very strong; his lungs were obviously powerful because although he seemed by nature to be a calm and passive child, when he did want attention the whole Palace could hear his demands. However that just proved that he was a suitable heir for the Lord to have sired; nobody would be happy if the young Prince was too passive, it would not bode well for the future of the Western Lands.

"Was I ever that noisy?" asked Inuyasha one day; as his ears rang from the demands of his tiny Lordship, wailing to be fed.

"Every bit, at this age." Sighed Sesshoumaru, as blissful silence descended; his son and heir having got what he required. "It always amazed me how quickly the noise abated, when your mother put you to her breast. Quite remarkable; as if a switch had been turned off. It is apparant the same thing works for my son." He added smugly, before Kagura's voice could be heard from the next room.

"What makes you think it only works for pups my love?" She chuckled; knowing quite well, that she had caused her prim and proper mate to flush a wonderful shade of red even without needing to see him or hear Inuyasha's burst of laughter. She did however smile as she heard her mate say _'run' _to his brother and then the crashing of the shoji doors to the gardens; as they were shoved aside to let Inuyasha out, as Sesshoumaru began to chase him down. Nobody took a blind bit of notice as the brothers raced and jumped around the grounds; they carried on whatever they were doing, for they could all sense that this was play.

For Inuyasha the experience of being hunted was usually traumatic; but for the first time he found it was exhilerating, knowing that his brother would not harm him when he evntually caught up. Sesshoumaru could have overreached his brother at any time; but he slowed himself to allow the hanyou the run, eventually bowling him over and depositing him in his Frog Pond. Neither saw that Rin had been sitting and minding her own business on the bridge, until she got up absolutely soaked from the splash that Inuyasha had made; she looked like she was seething with anger at first, but Rin was not like that. Instead, she just walked to her father and just as she had done years ago; she emptied a pail of water over his head grinning.

With an almighty growl, Sesshoumaru grabbed both Inuyasha and Rin; one dripping under each arm and marched back to the Palace where he proceeded to dump both of them, fully clothed in the hot spring before jumping in himself. He had not felt so young for many years; but he remembered his own father playing in a similar manner. The servants had left clean towels and changes of clothes for them all for when they finished; Rin's maids as always ready and waiting behind the screens ready to help her and hoping that the room would be left intact after the brother's finished their 'fight'.

Eventually they called it a day, neither had forgotten Rin in their enthusiasm; so being aware of her safety, the bathroom was still undamaged. She was taken away allowing the boys to change and soon all were ready for the evening meal. Inuyasha was laughing like he never had before; feeling relaxed and completely happy in his brother's company, his expression pleasing the heart of Kagura who was waiting for them. She smiled at her Lord and then at his brother, as Inuyasha relieved her of her _'little bundle of joy' _and allowing her to eat undisturbed for a while

TBC


	32. Gifts and Insults

Ch 32 Gifts and Insults

On the morning of Ginyukimaru's Festival Day nothing was out of the ordinary. The pup yelled for his breakfast and to be changed as usual and didn't care that the Palace was busy getting ready for the feast in his honour; as long as he was fed and comfortable. After everyone had breakfasted including Kagura; Inuyasha led them all out into the gardens again, but this time to a different area than the frog pond. He was carrying 'Gin' or 'Yuki' or 'Maru' depending on who was speaking; if the pup's father was talking of him though it was the full Ginyukimaru, although he didn't object to the family diminutives. Sesshoumau was once again surprised at the ingenuity of his little brother; they had been forbidden to come to this area of the grounds for the last week and now it was time for all to be revealed.

"It's a Name Day present for Yuki really, but Rin can come to and anyone else if they want." He proudly walked down another sheltered path that opened onto a clearing that he'd chosen carefully, as it was a small suntrap. There was a large tree to the side and on one of the sturdy branches was a rope and plank device; a swing and next to it was a baby swing that Inuyasha had copied once again from Kagome's time. It had a little box to sit in that would keep the little pup safe; if he was being swung gently. But that was not all; Inuyasha had made a see-saw, a slide and a roundabout, once again copied from things he had seen in the future.

They were all wooden and carved with crescent moons and fans; perfectly smooth as Inuyasha had enlisted the help of the only person he had trusted with his workshop, the carpenter. He had been able to show the hanyou how to plane the carved wood more effectively, than Inuyasha had done before. Prior to being given a metal file, he had used bone shards or flint; which were more time consuming, than the wonderfully effective metal plane. He had made absolutely certain that there were no splinters that could hurt his precious nephew; by running his fingers over every inch of wood he carved.

The final surprise was a huge sand pit; with the purest white sand that he could find. The hole had been dug quite deep and then Inuyasha had lugged the sand from the nearest beach; which even so, was quite a distance away. He had used the leather from a cow hide to make a bag to carry the sand and filtered it carefully for any sharp pieces of shell or stone which could possibly cut little feet. There were even little wooden spades and pails, along with shapes to mould the sand. To the side was a lid also carved with crescents and fans, that would cover the pit to keep out the rain and debris.

"I know he is too small at the moment to use many of these things; but he will grow quickly and once he is sitting...I have seen human babies in a swinging seat who can only just sit, so I thought it wouldn't be long...I hoped that you could cast a barrier or something to keep it clean and stop small animals making it their home."

"It is wonderful Inuyasha; for once you leave me at a loss for words. How do these instuments work?"

"Best way to find out is to give them a go Sessh; go on, you and Kagura can try, they'll take your weight. Rin, you might like the swing." Inuyasha stood by amused; as he held the pup and watched the others, as they found out how the playground rides worked. He had made sure that the grass was tough and springy; not that there was any real danger of painful tumbles. It amused Inuyasha that two creatures who had the powers of flight and speed, could be amused by going round and round and up and down; but he was glad that they did. They were having fun together and that was worth a lot to him, as he laughed and showed the baby just how funny his parents were.

Kagura held Rin in front of her on the see-saw to try and balance Sesshoumaru and then he pushed them on the swing. They soon got the instinct to move their legs forward and back to move the swing for themselves. Unfortunately for Sesshoumaru, his legs were too long for the swing; which Inuyasha had made low in case Rin fell off. At that point his brother decided to make an adult swing for Sesshoumaru and Kagura; there was plenty of room on the tree's strong branches.

The rest of the morning passed very quickly and soon Shingi who had come to inform them that some of their guests had arrived; had also been persuaded to have a try on the games. He and Sesshoumaru on the see-saw was vastly amusing sight to Inuyasha, who couldn't stop laughing; although at least they were balanced weight for weight better. Inuyasha was quite content to watch them and look after his nephew; finding the almost daily changes in the pup fascinating. Soon he would go to the slayer's village again, to visit with Sango and Miroku; their baby was due in a couple of months and he wished to make sure that all was well before the child came.

They all went back to bathe and get ready for their early guests who had all been shown to rooms that they too might be refreshed in after their journeys. All the visitors were invited to the informal lunch that the family was eating and Sesshoumaru told Inuyasha to take no notice of any remarks made by the pompous and stuffy Lord of the East. He was one who always thought he was above everyone else and that his opinion, which he insisted on sharing with everyone; mattered and was of great import. Inuyasha just laughed and said that there couldn't possibly be anything new, that he hadn't already heard.

It had become the norm for Inuyasha to carry Yuki around with him; when the pup wasn't held by his Mother or Father, almost making the nursemaid reduntant. The whelp usually had hold of the lock of hair that came to the side of his uncle's face, grasped in his tiny clawed hand; especially so if he was tired and sucking his thumb. The adoration seemed mutual as the pup always had special smiles for Inuyasha as well. Right now after luncheon, Inuyasha was showing the pup off to Kouga and Ayame; who were excited seeing the little one, as they too were expecting cubs.

Suddenly there was the sound of raucous laughter near Sesshoumaru and it was loud enough to make the pup jump in startlement; which made Inuyasha annoyed on his behalf. The Lord of the East was congratulating the new parents on their fine pup and a ingenious solution to their hanyou problem. Inuyasha's ears were like radars at this slight, but he chose to ignore it knowing that it was not the time or place to take offense; it would dishonour his brother and that was something he would not do anymore. Besides he had already been warned about the loud mouthed Lord and was satisfied with Kouga, also rolling his eyes at the statement.

"Seriously Sesshoumaru, it's perfect. Did you blood bond the boy to your pup permanently? I would if I were you; don't want him taking off in the middle of his servitude."

"My brother Inuyasha, is under no _'bond of obligation' _of any sort; to his nephew or any in this family, he cares for the pup out of love not duty."

"You are amusing Sesshoumaru, but surely it would be safer; it's not good to let just anyone near your pup, but still it is your decision of course. Your pup, he is a fine boy; very like yourself if I remember correctly." The Eastern Lord said; changing the subject wisely. Sesshoumaru nodded and Kagura wanted to know more about her mate's presentaion.

"Was he well behaved my Lord, or did he demand the centre of attention loudly?" Her eyes twinkled with delight as Sesshoumaru glowered at her; not wanting to hear what the Lord had to say about his presentation.

"He was very good as I recall; slept most of the way through. I daresay he'd been very well fed, before he was brought in." The Lord laughed again loudly but this time Yuki did not bother; Inuyasha was still with Kouga and the Southern Lord as they were talking about the future prospects for the next generation. "I've rarely seen such a proud Papa as the General; I can still see him standing there tall with his son and heir, held up so that all could see the strength that was the Western Land's future." Rarely had the Lord spoken so eloquently and all had stopped to listen and there were various assents from some of the other guests, who had also been at Sesshoumaru's presentaion.

Some spoke of the beauty of Sesshoumaru's mother and his father's obvious pride in her and their son; the promise of such greatness to come and fulfilled in the present Lord of the West and his family. Kagura said that it was sad that the father was cut down and did not have the chance to present his second son to the company. This time the laugh was not only loud, but the answer was also a little condescending.

"My dear Young Lady of the West, you mean the hanyou? It would never have been presented; just because it was suffered to live, doesn't mean that it could have been shown off with pride. Dear me, the very idea; one doesn't show off one's shame to the world and ask for acceptance, I understand the creature's own mother even, was ashamed to be pregnant with such an abomination." He was laughing once again, but the Lord of the South came to take him away from near Sesshoumaru; hissing in his ear that he thought that East had drunk too much sake and forgotten to whom he spoke.

Inuyasha had been wrong; he had _not_ heard all the horrible things that could be said of him, until now and he had no place to hide from everyone who had heard the comment. So he did the only thing possible and that was to hold his head up proudly; ignoring what had been said and pretend he couldn't see the looks and glances that came his way. Inuyasha had been well used to hiding what he felt before, when nobody cared and to show any emotional pain was either fatal or laughable; it was not hard to do it again. He deported himself so well, that the afternoon carried on as though nothing had happened and in fact as far as some were concerned nothing had; it was impossible to insult a hanyou after all.

Sesshoumaru was proud of his brother's resolve and realised that the boy was a terrific actor; Inuyasha had heard every word and yet was behaving so nonchalantly, it was as if he didn't care. But Sesshoumaru knew better and wanted to take his brother away to reassure him; however it was not appropriate at the moment and the youkai wouldn't demean Inuyasha by just taking him away from the company as if he were in disgrace. Kouga was staying near him and Sesshoumaru was grateful, the Wolf Prince was an old friend and adversary; well able to divert Inuyasha, from dwelling too long on the nastily spoken words.

In fact although he didn't realise it, Inuyasha's courage to stay at the gathering was noticed by many; including those who would normally have agreed with the Eastern Lord, even if they would not have said so as harshly or as audibly . They could see for themselves that the father's blood ran true in the hanyou just as it did in the full youkai son; in being able to dismiss as beneath his notice any crass statement he showed the the mark of a true noble. Kagura came up for her pup and smiled at Inuyasha as she took the baby from him. Yuki would need a feed and a nap before the evening and probably another feed, if he was to be as good as his Papa was; for his presentation and naming day.

Sesshoumaru escorted his mate and pup back to their chambers and once they were settled, he told Kagura he would go and check on his brother; who he could hear was taking a bath in his own suite. He sat on the futon waiting for Inuyasha to finish and smiled at him, as he came out dressed in a sleeping kimono. Inuyasha looked calm to Sesshoumaru; but their was a definite mask in place, visible to one who knew him as well as his brother.

"You are well Inuyasha?"

"Feh! I needed the bath, but now I am fine. What about the pup, is he taking a nap? He needs to be all bright for this evening; can't have him showing his Papa or Mama up." Inuyasha did the classic change the subject; which Sesshoumaru noticed, but this time would not accept.

"He is being fed and put down for his sleep; yes. I wished to apologise for the remarks of my guest Inuyasha, he is know for his lack of manners."

"It ain't nothin' I've not heard before Sessh; I told you."

"Nevertheless, you should not be subject to such words and he is particularly loathsome; I would not have invited him, but it is my duty to be diplomatic so as not to start a war with the East."

"Keh! Like I said, it's nothin'; not like I've never bin insulted before is it? I aint gonna let him spoil Yuki's day."

"I was proud of you Inuyasha, I thought you might take exception to him and call him out to fight."

"What' d be the point? It don't prove a thing and it don't stop any insults. Kagome's time has a saying; _'sticks and stones may break my bones; but words will_ _never hurt me_.' Well I know first hand, that the first bit is true and the second is a lie. Words can hurt; but you hear them often enough and eventually they can be ignored. What did you think, that you would come in and find me in tears and crying over the insult? Feh! I'm made of tougher stuff than that and I ain't cried for the longest time...well not 'cause of name calling anyhow."

Sesshoumaru merely raised his eyebrow at that statement, he could smell that tears had already been shed; but he wasn't going to crack his brother's facade, which he was obviously building for the evening ahead and in preparation for more nasty comments. He contented himself with kissing Inuyasha's forehead before leaving him, to let him nap; before the feast that night.

When Inuyasha awoke he found a superb Kimono had been placed ready for him to wear at the presentation. It was a cobalt blue, the same colour as Sesshoumaru's crescent moon and embroidered with the symbols of his house; this was wonderful for Inuyasha, it signified that Sesshoumaru felt he now had the right to wear his father's emblem. But he also noted, that there were little fans intersperced inbetween and this puzzled him; had the seamstress got his kimono pattern mixed up with the pup's? He hoped if that were true that nobody would notice, or heads would roll.

On entering the Banquet Hall, carrying his nephew and walking behind Sesshoumaru and Kagura and to the side of Rin; Inuyasha only recognised a few guests, there was Kouga and Ayame, Setsuzentaru and Toutousai; then he felt Myouga bite his nose. Perhaps a handful of others that he knew by sight, out of the huge crowd of people present. Inuyasha felt nervous but didn't let it show; his mask was firmly in place as he looked around. He had been astonished to find that all the family kimono's were of the same design and colour but that was as far as his wondering went, before his nephew was placed in his arms and they had been ready to go.

TBC


	33. Presentation and Naming Day

Ch 33 Presentation and Naming Day

As the family made their entrance, all eyes turned to look in their direction and the proud father stood before them; awaiting their silence. Almost immediately it was granted and Sesshoumaru after retrieving his son, held the pup above his head and proclaimed his paternity over the child; by naming him as his son and heir of the Western Lands.

"My Lords and Ladies, I introduce my first born son and heir; born of my mate, the Lady of the Western Lands. His given name is Ginyukimaru." There was a loud round of applause to greet the announcement; when it died down, Sesshoumaru spoke again. "I realise that my actions tonight will be unusual but my family is unusual;" He paused to pick up Rin and held her out to be viewed. "This is Rin; be it know that she is adopted by My Lady and myself as our daughter. There was more applause, adoption was a usual process even if the humanity of the child was not; but most already knew of the girl and the words were hardly unexpected.

After the announcement people started to chat again and Sesshoumaru handed Yuki back to Inuyasha and clapped his hands to call attention to himself again.

"Many of you know Inuyasha; my brother. Our father died before he could be presented and it is my pleasure to do this today. Inuyasha, the slayer of Naraku; second son to our honourable father and Prince of the Western Lands. He is the guardian and protector, in my absence of Prince Ginyukimaru; regent should this ever be neccessary. Further more, until he gains his own majority plus the fifty years that he lost; he too, is adopted as though a son to myself and the Lady of the West." There was no spontaneous applause this time; as the company digested all that Sesshoumaru had declared, then Setsuzentaru and Kouga at the same time clapped their hands and soon others joined in.

The gathering had accepted all of Sesshoumaru's presentations with one obvious exception; East, who could only see that this was a slight to him and not because the brother's were genuinely reconciled and truly family. He actually thought that Sesshoumaru's presentation of his hanyou half brother, was provocatively staged; purely to undermine his comments of earlier and he was not a forgiving Lord. He hoped that Sesshoumaru would rue the day he allowed the highly attractive half breed a sanctuary in his home and that when Inuyasha was finally thrown out, the Lord of the East would be there to pick him up and show him what hanyou's were only good for.

For Inuyasha though it was a great shock and took all of his strength, not to run away from the feast as fast as he could and hide in the tallest branches of his favoured tree. Of course this was all known to his brother; who came to stand beside him, until he was composed and his heart rate had slowed down. Sesshoumaru tried to ease the boy's tension;

"You were not thinking of escaping the feast, were you my Brother Pup? It is in honour of you as well as the smaller pups."

"Feh! Sessh, I don't know what to say, you could have ruined the kids' day by pulling a stunt like that." Inuyasha answered.

"Be thankful I chose not to lift you, to show you to the assembly; as I did with Rin and Ginyukimaru in the traditional way." His brother chuckled, at Inuyasha's horror.

"You wouldn't have!"

"Had it been required Little Brother; rest assured, I would have done so."

"What did you mean by all that anyway? I didn't get it all."

"I will explain all later Pup; but now just enjoy the evening and show the little one off, as you are _so_ good at it." Sesshoumaru ruffled Inuyasha's hair as he said this, much to his brother's annoyance and the amusement of Kouga and Toutousai. The evening went well, Inuyasha kept out of the Eastern Lord's way; as did many others and took his nephew around to the various little cliques of people. He received quite a few congratulations for himself; as well as admiration of the pup, who was as good as gold for his uncle.

Then it was time for the pup and Rin to go to bed; Kagura took both children and excused herself from the company; in all honesty, glad of the excuse to leave as she too was tired. The little one was quite demanding of her; for his feeding especially, he was strong and growing rapidly. She was not jealous of Inuyasha's holding the pup; if not him, it would have been the nursemaid and she had not wanted the services of a wet nurse so she still had the child herself. Inuyasha was never far away and they all slept together, the pup close to her breast. He also freed up Sesshoumaru who if neccessary, then had his two hands free to protect his family; should it ever be required. All in all, it was a satisfactory arrangement.

Ayame was awake early the next morning as her pup was a bright and early riser; deciding to take his excercise by kicking his mother. She had been walking in the Palace grounds and enjoying the peace; when she heard Inuyasha singing softly to Yuki. Ayame smiled to herself before going over to him.

"I guess he doesn't care to sleep in either?" She said.

"Feh! can't tell the time yet, silly pup. He's been fed and changed so I thought I'd bring him out to give Kagura a bit of extra time with Sesshoumaru." He blushed as he realised what he had said and as he saw Ayame's smile grow larger with understanding.

"What about Rin? "

"She's already in the playpark."

"I heard about that yesterday, can I see?"

"Sure." Inuyasha led the way to the play area and was coyly pleased at Ayame's reaction. She went to join Rin on the swing and soon the two girls were swinging together gently and laughing together. Rin was growing up and enjoyed the attention of the older female in a sisterly way, talking about babies; neither noticed the stealthy approach of a figure behind and to the side of them, who was intently watching Inuyasha with Yuki. He had masked his scent and was downwind in any case, seeming to be waiting for something to happen.

He had followed Inuyasha and thought that they were the only ones to be awake quite so early; after all the celebrations had lasted well into the night. But the presence of a pregnant bitch and the female pup was no real hindrance to his plans. At the entrance to the little park, a shadow appeared in the shade creeping closer to the oblivious hanyou who had his back turned, as he watched the girls on the swing. But Inuyasha was aware; he had survived years, honing his senses and knew when someone was approaching his back.

Slowly he secured Yuki into the breast flap of his kimono and walked to stand in front of the girls; Ayame had noticed his movements and was immediately alert and reading Inuyasha's signals. She could see where the shadow deepened and motioned with her eyes to Inuyasha, as the assassin made his appearance; the male's scent gave away his intent to both Wolf and Dog Youkai. With a smooth, fluid movement that was not lost on the other observer; Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga and turned, bringing the sword down with _'Kongousouha' _on his lips. The diamond shards may have been slight overkill, but it did effectively remove the danger; or so they thought.

"Go" said Inuyasha to Ayame and Rin. "Call to your mate to come for you." Ayame went to the entrance to the park, holding Rin next to her and called for Kouga. Inuyasha however hadn't yet sheathed his sword, as his subliminal senses were not satisfied. Rightly so, as the Eastern Lord approached him quickly; speaking rapidly knowing that soon the others would arrive.

"Impressive display hanyou, as is this playground. What do you hope to do, _buy_ the loyalty and safety of your brother's family? Hoping that they will not see through your deceit? They _will _throw you out boy and I will be right there to take you back with me; where I will show you the real reason for your birth." While he spoke, his hands assaulted Inuyasha who had frozen in fear and despair; his arms wrapped in front of him holding Yuki safely. Unfortunately for East, although he could mask his scent so that it appeared that nobody was there; he couldn't mask Inuyasha's and the hanyou suffered his usual upset, if he was touched wrongly and threw up all over the Lord.

"You disgusting little..." Was all the Lord said as he fled the area; he would have to leave the Western Lands for now and would bide his time in his own lands. It was Kouga who reached the rigid Inuyasha first and he led the subdued boy out of the area; handing him over to Setsuzentaru so that he could get back to Ayame. The Eagle was safe, Inuyasha knew and had wrapped his arms around the hanyou who was now shaking.

He made quiet chirruping sounds in his throat which were surprisingly calming and comfortable helping Inuyasha to breathe normally again and he was soon able to peer over the top of Setsuzentaru's arms at the concerned and blazingly angry eyes of his brother. Sesshoumaru was waiting to hear what had happened from Inuyasha, but first he needed to know where his pup was; he'd seen that Rin was safe. Inuyasha went to get the pup from the front of his completely messed up kimono but his brother stopped him. Sesshoumaru could now hear the whimpers from Yuki and that was enough.

"I can't take him now Inuyasha; I need to be able to gain a clear scent of who attacked you if I can, and I expect that my little pup is covered in your...vomit which would take away from the clarity of this panther's odour. Would you take him back to the Palace and call someone to get them both cleaned up please Setsuzentaru."

By now however, Inuyasha was feeling incredibly angry and suddenly tired of being treated like a baby; he gently but firmly pulled away from both youkai and told them he could sort himself out. Walking off back to the Palace, his anger at himself grew, as the events of the morning filtered through his mind. How dare someone touch him as if he were their lover and why was he so weak as to not stop them? He handed the baby over to a worried Kagura without a word and headed straight to his own bathroom where he disposed of the soiled kimono and vanished into the cleansing steam.

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru had found that very little remained of the assassin, he'd been blasted thoroughly by Inuyasha's attack; but traces of scent lingered and it was enough. The Lord of the East's scent remained along with the panther's own; it was enough and he had the other Lords or their trusted staff, to confirm without doubt his deduction. Plus when the Lord was called on, it was discovered that he and his entourage had left; after thanking Kagura kindly for her hospitality and congratulating her on her son and adopted daughter.

It mattered not to Sesshoumaru, he had all the evidence he needed; including the faint aroma of Inuyasha's fear and vomit, still clinging to the atmosphere in the departed Lord's suite which was also verified by the attending Lords or their servants. Sesshoumaru did think it strange that neither Rin nor Ayame had mentioned the Eastern Lord and he went to speak with the trusted Setsuzentaru.

"I would imagine that it is because they did not see him, Sesshoumaru; he must have approached Inuyasha when they left to call the Wolf."

"Why did my brother say nothing then and what was said to him to upset him?"

"Hmm, Inuyasha seemed more angry with himself than upset and I can think only of one thing that has made your brother physically sick recently. I am not saying that this is what happened but...the Lord of the East is known to live rather a debauched life at times."

"He hates the very thought of any hanyou, Setsuzentaru."

"As a being with influence certainly; but as a toy, I would not be so sure especially as Inuyasha is still young and theoretically obtainable." The Eagle watched as Sesshoumaru's eyes blazed red and he told him to calm down. "Should you wish to find out what happened from your brother, you must not appear to be angry with him; he is already angry himself, only harsh words to be regretted later will come of it. I would advise letting _him_ get angry and staying calm yourself; you will find out more if he is allowed to rant."

The words made sense and Sesshoumaru went inside to inform Kagura of what had transpired to the best of his knowledge. Getting the rest from his brother was not going to be easy; but Sesshoumaru was not going to let Inuyasha sink into the mire of misery that he was apt to do, not if he could stop it. Without preamble he entered the bathroom where his brother was and didn't miss the look of abject fear that flashed across Inuyasha's face as he did so. Crushing his flash of anger that someone had caused that look on his normally fearless brother's face; Sesshoumaru sat down and waited to be acknowledged.

"You have already proved yourself an effective guardian for my son and for Rin, Inuyasha; you have my grateful thanks."

"Feh! Twern't nothin', he wasn't hard to beat."

"Nevertheless, my pups live because you protected them; they would have been defenceless on their own against such an attack." Sesshoumaru waited but nothing was forthcoming from his brother. "I have found out to my own satisfaction and that of others, that the one who hired the panther that attacked you was the Eastern Lord." Again silence greeted his statement but Inuyasha was holding himself tightly, although he was only just visible to his brother.

"You do not seem surprised at that Inuyasha, did you know it was him?"

"Feh! How would I know what that bastard was up to? But it don't surprise me."

"He approached you did he not? Did he hurt you Inuyasha?"

"Of course not; you think a wimpy, no good piece of rubbish like that could lay a finger on me."

"I could smell your fear Inuyasha and shame. Tell me what he did."

"He didn't do nothin', I'm not as weak as that. I may not be full blooded like everyone else, but I'm not weak and useless." Inuyasha was angry but his voice was higher pitched than normal.

"No one is saying that you are, but I know that he touched you; I need to know if he hurt you."

"Go away Sesshoumaru GO AWAY. I don't want to talk about it O.K. Leave me alone."

"No Inuyasha, not this time. You are going to tell me everything he did and said." Inuyasha knew that tone and that there was no escape; there never was for him, everywhere he turned and his blood boiled. Sesshoumaru wanted to know; then Sesshoumaru was going to be told.

"Alright, he told me I was trying to buy my way in to your family by making nice things, then he said that you would still throw me out and he would get hold of me and show me the real reason I was born.The reason any hanyou is allowed to live, is to bring pleasure to everyone else isn't it. That's what your friends said too wasn't it. He was touching me the whole time and it made me sick; I threw up all over him. There are you satisfied now? I was afraid, me, afraid and I froze; I couldn't move away from him. I'm useless and I hate being a hanyou."

"Inuyasha there is no shame in being a hanyou, nor in what happened to you." Sesshoumaru's voice was calm in contrast to Inuyasha who was beginning to shout.

"Don't talk rubbish Sesshoumaru; whatever you think of me now, you always _were_ ashamed of me and now I know that my parents were as well. I always thought that she wanted me and loved me; now I know she hated being pregnant with me. A hanyou can't make their parents proud, what an awful thing to know and not be able to change. Did Father know that he had just created a whore for someone to buy, or pick up; when my mother told him she was expecting? If he'd lived would he have sold me himself to the highest bidder? I am pretty aren't I; Sesshoumaru, pretty enough for someone to use? Inuyasha's eyes were wide and terrified.

"Will you sell me Sesshoumaru? Is that all I'm fit for; being a sex toy for some pure blooded youkai or human? Don't tell me there is no shame in what I am, because it's a damned lie."

Sesshoumaru looked at his brother's angry, red and upset face; despairing of what to say. Setsuzentaru had said to let Inuyasha rant and he had certainly done that; but what was he to say, to make those hurtful ideas and words go away? One thing was for certain; East was going to die.

TBC


	34. Pup Brother

Ch 34 Pup Brother

Sesshoumaru was at a loss, his brother was spewing forth a lot of nonsense, like poison from a wound; poison he'd been fed it's true, but it was still nonsense. But Inuyasha was past caring what he said or whether he made any sense and Sesshoumaru shouldn't try and stop him if he was to take Setsuzentaru's advice. But it was rapidly becoming something Sesshoumaru no longer wanted to hear; his brother was painting disturbing images and now Inuyasha was even repeating some of his ideas. The boy was almost hysterical; but angrily so and was yanking on his ears, complaining about how they were such a visible sign of him being a hated hanyou.

"Do you know how I feel Sesshoumaru when I see you with Kagura, sitting with your arms around Rin and Yuki at storytime? No of course you don't, you belong don't you? You and they are whole. It is a picture of wonderful _'racial purity'_ as Kagome would call it; But me, I will always be on the outside wherever I go; never fully acceptable anywhere, unless someone wants to use me." Inuyasha's fists were clenched and his claws were digging in, making his palms bleed; his ears were flat to his head and Sesshoumaru was desperate, just wanting to stop and comfort his little brother.

Suddenly there was a gentle splash in the pool and both pairs of haunted golden eyes turned to the sound; where Kagura was now wading towards Inuyasha. She was confident and her face neutral as she moved towards the hanyou; her ruby eyes never leaving his golden ones.

"I waited until you started to repeat yourself Inuyasha; now come here." To her mate's surprise, Inuyasha obeyed Kagura. She brushed his fringe away from his hot damp face; stroked his flattened ears and kissed him on the cheek, before putting her arms around him closely and firmly holding him so he could not pull away.

"You are one very silly pup sometimes Inuyasha. Brave, headstrong, loyal and loud mouthed; but also very silly. You _**know**_ we love you, as did your Mama and Papa; now you've had your say, so stop this screaming before you make yourself ill." She spoke to him like a child and he responded like a child and with his huge eyes filling with tears, he allowed Kagura to pull him close to her; resting his head on her shoulder as he burst into tears. She rocked and crooned her pup songs to him; until his sobbing eased and Sesshoumaru entered the bath, lifting Inuyasha bodily out of the water and wrapping him in a drying cloth until he was dry enough to dress.

Kagura took off her wet kimono and dried off too, then took the boy back into her arms as they sat on the futon in Inuyasha's own room awaiting Sesshoumaru. He was pleased that Inuyasha had not tensed this time, when he had held him and knew that progress was being made; even if it was a little traumatic at the moment. He was so grateful that Kagura had known what to do to calm his brother down and he watched her fondly, as she kept rocking the whelp and stroking his hair from his face; while planting little kisses on his forehead, cheeks, ears and nose.

Yuki could now be heard in the other room making a fuss; as he picked up on the atmosphere around him and he wasn't going to be comforted until he could see his mother. Inuyasha told her to go to the pup as he wanted her, but Kagura said that Yuki could wait until Inuyasha didn't need her. By now though, Sesshoumaru knew what was needed and he once again pulled his brother from his mate and sat him in his own lap. He and Kagura looked at each other and she got up to leave, although saying she would be back soon.

Inuyasha tried at first to get off Sesshoumaru, but his brother was having none of it; he had got used to dealing with his younger sibling, when he'd been lost in his mind and didn't feel strange anymore in playing the fatherly role.

"You will sit still Inuyasha; we need to talk and get a few things straight in your head." Sesshoumaru spoke calmly and gently, all the while running his claws through his brother's hair; unmatting the drying strands, grooming and comforting. He carried on speaking once he felt Inuyasha settle down again, in a low and pleasing voice; one he used to use when Inuyasha was really small and had come to him as his last resort for comfort. Sometimes when his mother had been ill or sad and little Inuyasha didn't understand, it would make him sad and need assurance and there had been a few times when Sesshoumaru had been there for him. The older one remembered still.

"I remember a woman who had a secret smile; shining eyes and flushed cheeks, not much more than a girl. She would walk with her head up high; although she would bow respectfully when it was appropriate, but always her eyes and the smile would tell of her proud condition. She would often be found with her hands stroking her swollen belly singing in an undertone. I saw a youkai, strong and kind who as often as he could would gather the girl to his heart and kiss her; as his hand would rest upon her own, smiling together as they felt their child move. I saw them lost in their own world and being young and spoiled, I often thought I was forgotten.

"I saw that same youkai, dying of his wounds but thinking nothing of them; as he asked me if I felt I had anything to protect and I felt his sadness and resolution when I denied him. I watched him as he transformed to go to the rescue of the girl and her newborn and I felt his loss of youki as he finally died in their defence. I welcomed the girl to the Palace as she clutched her babe to her bosom; then again as she proudly presented him to his brother and I held her and him as she broke down and wept for the loss of the kind youkai, joining in with her tears for the loss of my father.

"I watched as her apprehension grew in and around my friends and myself, her fear for the well being of her precious son as my own unpredictability grew around her. I saw her put up with degredation and lack of respect daily; just so that her little one would be in the place she felt he was safest. I knew when she cried because she would only be welcomed back to her family if she left the child alone, in the care of his brother and never see him again. I saw her weep when she thought her son lost somewhere and her great pleasure when the boy was returned.

"I never _once_ saw shame in the girl's eyes as she looked at her son; or when she carried him. I only saw great love which she bestowed on any who would let her; including myself. I think I would know more about all of this than someone who never even saw your parents and was not a welcome guest in many of the places he tries to arrange an invite.

"As for being pretty, yes you are; as would be expected in the son of our father and your mother. As you mature your face will change and the prettiness will become handsome. I too had to be protected; father had a rule of nobody coming within touching distance of me on pain of death, barring a few trusted in a bodyguard and my own attendants. Now, I understand why and I will do the same for all my pups including you.

"No one condemns your reactions to that creature; who is going to die for touching my pup and threatening your lives. Your inability to move in such a situation is understandable and does not make you weak or a coward. It goes back to the first time it happened when you were a little pup and I didn't know. It has nothing to do with who or what you are, if that sort of thing happens to any child of any race, the same reactions are likely. The fact that you are a hanyou means nothing; you are Inuyasha and you are loved for who, not what you are."

All the time he had been speaking, Inuyasha had wept; completely unable to stop the heavy tears that were soaking the front of his brother's kimono. The speech about his parents meant so much to him and Sesshoumaru could tell that Inuyasha had taken to heart all he'd said and accepted it, as his aura had a more contented feel to it. It was time for the tears to stop and a little more of the fight to come back and Sesshoumaru thought he knew just how to do that.

"Now we have to deal with the more ridiculous issues you mentioned and insulted us with, my little brother." Sesshoumaru sounded a tad more sharp and he swiftly pulled Inuyasha across his lap; holding him down and he spanked the bottom that was only thinly covered with the sleeping kimono. The half a dozen or so slaps were hard and they stung; Sesshoumaru had a heavy hand, but he was not intending to punish, just to annoy and he succeeded. Inuyasha had stopped his tears and was blazing mad as he jerked round to stare at his brother.

"What the hell was that for, you arrogant..?"

"Careful Inuyasha, those few slaps didn't hurt you much; should I decide you need more, however..." Sesshoumaru let the threat hang in the air and Inuyasha took the warning seriously; as his brother allowed him to sit up, although he did not relinquish his hold on him. That was better, the angry flush was better than the bitter tears; even if Inuyasha had needed to cry.

"I _have _never and _would_ never, use you Inuyasha; in _any_ such way as you may have heard. Not even at my most virulent have I ever considered that your fate should be one of that sort of servitude. I have never said or done anything but acknowledge you as my brother; whatever else I may have done and have you forgotten, I can tell whether or not you are being deceitful? I know that your gifts were given because you love the pup and the pack; in fact I know you very well indeed, little one." Then Sesshoumaru nuzzled his brother's neck in an affectionate manner before he licked him on the pack mark. It made Inuyasha jump in surprise.

"What was that?"

"That was your pack mark; it reacts to the alpha mainly and is used to reassure someone belonging to the pack, as well as being a mark of protection."

"Oh, yeah! What was all that you said at the presentation? What am I for the little whelp?"

"You are his guardian in his parents absence and if anything should happen to me before he reaches his majority, you will be co-regent with his mother."

"And what about my majority? What do you mean by all that?"

"Officially in youkai society, you are not yet of adult age; in fact you will not be for another twenty or so years, then added to that the years you lost in your timeless sleep on Goshinboku...you will be under Kagura and my protection for another seventy years, to be treated and considered by everyone _as if _you were our son. I know you are my brother and might balk at the idea of being treated as such; but it _is_ the protection you should have had and the one that father wanted for you, when he knew his own fate and asked me to protect you. Bear in mind the words were _'as if'._

"Feh!"

"I know as does everyone, that you have done brave and courageous things and survived alone for many years. But it does not negate the fact that it was more than you should have been expected to do and that you have the chance to regain some of your childhood, to finish growing up in safety. Not because any think you weak, but because it is your right."

"Does that give you the right to punish me every time I don't do what you say?"

"I have always _had_ that _right_ Inuyasha: I suggest you don't try to see if I will excercise my right." Sesshoumaru smirked; pleased that Inuyasha was acting and sounding more like his old self again.

"Keh! I can live with that; what about Kagura, how does she feel having a 'son' like me?"

"_She, _is honoured to have a loyal protective 'son' who has already saved her other pups' lives; besides giving her back her own life." Kagura said as she came into view. She came and gave him another hug but whispered in his ear; "However, I would advise that the puppy didn't piss his brother off just for the sake of it; or else he will find that Sesshoumaru is not the only one who can spank him. Silly pup, you understand now how much we all love you; don't you?" Her voice was full of that love and Inuyasha understood all that he had been offered. He threw his arms around her hugging her tight and leaned back into his brother who had come to enfold both of them again in his safe arms.

Once they'd come out of Inuyasha's room, he found out that he was once again the hero. Rin was bouncing up and down on her heels before she squealed and flew into his arms for her own hug; followed not long after by Ayame, with Kouga clapping him on the shoulder in a friendly way. The royal wolves also had a suite in the more usually family wing, as they were close friends and allies now of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru; having helped the Taiyoukai, when he'd had to keep an eye on Inuyasha when his mind had wandered.

Therefore although they had stayed in their suite, neither had need to ask what had transpired between Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. As wolf youkai their hearing was excellent, but they were very pleased to see that Inuyasha seemed to be alright for now and that the evil words of the Eastern Lord that had been undermining him, had been excorcised. Later that day and after many others had praised his courage; bolstering Inuyasha's bruised ego, Sesshoumaru called everyone to a committee to decide on a course of action with regard to the Lord of the East.

"I do not call or wish for war with the East; but it's ruler has threatened, verbally and physically all of my pups, managing to cause actual harm to one, while he was protecting the life of another. I cannot tolerate, nor shall I allow this challenge to the well being of my family to go unanswered. I ask for your support to call out the coward, knowing that you have all acknowledged the truth of my statements." Sesshoumaru's presence was commanding and although Inuyasha blushed at being called his pup and under his protection; he couldn't help but be proud of his brother and to admit it was nice not to have to fight to protect others or himself for once.

"Your desire for retribution is unequivocal and just. But you do not stand alone; the Wolf Princess was also under that threat and with her the unborn life of the heir to the Wolf Tribe." Kouga's sapphire eyes were fuming with rage at the thought that even if not directly harmed, stress for Ayame could have proved harmful to his cub's prospective life.

"Oi, what about me, you ain't leaving me behind: I want to gut this creep." Inuyasha predictably wasn't to be kept quiet. The relatively young Lord of the North however objected.

"It is not the place for pups, you will be well represented Prince Inuyasha." His words though were like a red rag to a bull; but before Inuyasha could start to mouth off and show himself up for the pup he still obviously was sometimes, Sesshoumaru stepped in.

"It is true that Inuyasha is still underage; but I'm sure that all of you know the circumstances of his life and to turn round now and say he is not entitled or able to fight for himself should he so wish, is like uttering a death wish at the end of Tetsusaiga." Sesshoumaru stared at the Northern Lord until the youkai backed down. "However Inuyasha, you may go on the proviso that you understand others also have a say in how things proceed and you must abide by that decision; as all of us will do also." He now looked straight at his brother and Inuyasha knew that he would not win any arguements if he started them, so he nodded.

"South and North stand with you also, West; what do you wish to accomplish with the East?"

"I propose that East is inherited by the oldest son; he is sickened in any case by his father's boorish behaviour and there is a talented sister who might be willing to mate North and further our alliances if North is also willing, although I do not approve of forcing the issue. East himself is forfeit; I will not suffer him to live after the insults he gave to my Pup Brother."

There was general assent to the plans and the task was scheduled for the next day but there was a last warning for Inuyasha, from his brother.

"East is likely to say other things to hurt you Inuyasha; but should we have a repeat of today from you as a consequence, I shall be forced to repeat some of today's remedy but harder. Do I make myself clear. If you wish to come along, you will have to be prepared for such."

"I understand and I will be prepared; I'm O.K. now." Inuyasha was ready and wouldn't sink into such despondency again. His youkai had recognised his brother's alpha youkai and believed him on his deepest level; which served to make him feel much more secure throughout his whole being.

TBC


	35. Facing the Threat

Ch 35 Facing the Threat

Sesshoumaru didn't even try to sleep that night; instead he watched over his family as they curled up all together as usual. He would not be surprised if one or the other of Rin and Inuyasha had nightmares; even if they were both used to being in dangerous situations. Rin had had disturbed sleep before when they travelled together and he knew that Inuyasha's dreams were not entirely free of fear either. Besides, he too found it calming to be in control once more; overseeing his precious family that he could so easily have lost that morning.

His youkai had been so enraged that it was only now beginning to retreat and if not for his training, Sesshoumaru would have probably taken the law already into his own hands as he would have done before he had his responsibilities. With family, he now had to make sure that his conduct for the West was irreprehensible; they were no longer having to live in the wilds hunting a common foe and making decisions on their own. With his lands settled, diplomacy had to triumph over the sometimes physical need to rend and destroy. Sesshoumaru was a civilised creature and it was no problem to sort things out with the aid of, or at least the agreement of his peers.

Inuyasha whined and tossed a little but settled down again; when a gentle hand stroked his head petting his ears and Sesshoumaru stayed nearby all night, plotting dire things to be done to the Lord of the East. When the others awoke in the morning, Sesshoumaru was already ceremonially dressed for a council meeting and had breakfasted alone. He would take care of Western matters while the other Lords got themselves ready. He was to be accompanied by the other two cardinal lords, apart from the Wolf Prince and Inuyasha. Before they set off, Sesshoumaru had a final warning to Inuyasha;

"Remember what I said to you Little Brother; East will more than likely try to anger or distress you with his words again but he will not be allowed to come near to you and as you are not yet used to diplomacy, I must ask that you do not interrupt the speech. All I promise you is that you will be heard; just bide your time and this I do insist on, if you are to come along."

One of Sesshoumaru's court officials had been sent ahead to notify East of his impeachment by the other Lords and to arrange neutral ground for the meeting. Once the place had been decided, a tent set up and any other arrangements were completed; the Lords set off for the meeting. Shingi and his most trusted guards would stay behind to protect the Royal Family; along with those chosen by the other Lords from their own guards, for their respective families. The meeting would take place in two days; which was the time it would take to reach the designated place by the Lords and their escorts.

The day's journey was uneventful and all slept well and safely, the next day saw more activity on the road as persons stopped to see the cavalcade and various vendors attempted to sell food and drink. Then that night once they'd camped and eaten the evening meal, there were more discussions about the meeting for the next day. Inuyasha felt uncouth and very uneducated, as the Lords spoke together; he hardly understood a word of what they were saying, even Kouga was holding his own end of the conversation.

Inuyasha saw the wolf in a new light; no longer the friendly 'enemy' and sparring partner of past days but like Sesshoumaru, Kouga too was a diplomat and the hanyou felt as if the world were leaving him behind. Being a bit fed up, he decided to go for a walk and he found a nice tree to sit in; but not for long. Sesshoumaru came out and followed his trail and jumped in the tree to sit opposite his brother. He knew Inuyasha was feeling left out of everything, but he was not going to let him sit around to brood. Brooding never helped his brother; it just made him get the wrong ideas.

"You will return Inuyasha and you will sit and listen. Even if you are bored, it is time that you learned how to listen when others speak. You may understand more then, what is on the agenda for tomorrow." Then he jumped his brother down from the tree and escorted him back to the camp, where Kouga gave him a knowing smirk and Inuyasha growled at the wolf with a scowl. Getting his own back, Inuyasha grumpily lay down and rested his head on his brother's leg and went to sleep; while the boring talks went on over his head.

Sesshoumaru was so surprised and heartened at this display of trust from his brother and in front of an audience; that he didn't reprimand the pup for his show of disrespect for the other Lords. He did however, make a slight comment to the others about the attention span of pups; as he idly ran his fingers through his brother's mane. The sleeve of his kimono acted as a covering for Inuyasha and the hanyou felt warm and safe as he slept; his youkai appeased by the scent of his brother close by. In truth the Taiyoukai was glad that Inuyasha wasn't awake; because he could feel that the boy was tense and that usually meant brash words and rash behaviour, as he tried to hide his apprehension.

Inuyasha awoke most surprised to find that he'd slept the night away; not having moved from where he'd gone to sleep. He could feel Sesshoumaru's arm resting across his back and hear his brother's amused chuckle, knowing that he was awake. Before the bluster could erupt from Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru forestalled him by saying that there was breakfast ready outside; as the camp cooks had started at daybreak preparing the food. As he hoped, this was distraction enough for the boy who leapt outside and went to the river to freshen up before he ate.

When the camp was packed, everyone was ready for the final part of the journey to meet with the Lord of the East. Inuyasha was beginning to annoy everyone by jumping around and getting his nose stuck in everyone else's business, in his eagerness to be off; until Kouga grabbed hold of him and bowled him over to start one of their 'old' fights and kept him occupied until the rest had started to leave. Kouga saw Sesshoumaru nod at him slightly as the youkai recognised what the wolf was doing. Kouga grinned back and just said;

"Just getting in practice for when my own arrive." Then he met Inuyasha's deathly glare with one of his own and they were off again. It worked though and burned off some of Inuyasha's nervous energy and soon they were running to catch up with the more sedately paced Lords. Sesshoumaru sent Inuyasha off to scout around the area before they reached their destination; in case of trouble attempting to ambush them. Not that he thought that was likely; this was just to keep the boy's energy levels lower, as he knew it was going to be difficult for Inuyasha to just be sitting in the tent listening to double talk when he just wanted to blast away with Tetsusaiga.

After a quick refreshment break the final part of the journey was soon over and the meeting set for later that afternoon. Tents had been placed for the general needs of common hospitality, but soon the time had come and the opposing parties were kneeling on mats with advisors all around. Seshoumaru and Inuyasha sat side by side with the other lords either side. The Lord of the East sat in front; his eldest two sons either side of him and his three sons-in-law who also were his advisors, next to them. For a while no body spoke and then one of East's men broached the silence.

"My Lords you have charges against My Lord that you wish to have answered. Would you like to explain?

"Lord East abused This Sesshoumaru's hospitality to cast verbal and physical insults against my marked pups and sending an assassin to kill them. In doing so, he also put at risk the life and wellbeing of Lord Kougs's mate and unborn cub. These charges require that his life be forfeit."

"Is there proof of these allegations My Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"The assassin reeked of only one other scent than his own and that was East's. East also was in the area and did nothing to assisst my brother in defending those he was protecting; only to appear once my brother was alone in the area with the express intention, to assault and intimidate him."

"So far this is only circumstantial evidence to support your allegations, My Lord. You will have to offer firmer proof to make such charges stick."

"The remains of the panther assassin with only East's scent on it was verified by the other two cardinal lords and the wolf prince. His mate saw the assassin creeping up behind my brother. East was immediately in the vicinity of my brother after the attack; as can be deduced from the fact that Kouga and Lord Setsuzentaru were on the scene within a few minutes of the attacks, one of which caused my brother to vomit over East who left that unmistakeable scent in the suite he vacated. This was also verified by the same lords."

"These are serious allegations indeed. Lord of the Eastern Lands do you have anything to offer to help these proceedings? Did you send an assassin to murder Lord Sesshoumaru's offspring?"

"Categorically not." East said in a loud enough voice to be heard by all present and he smirked as Inuyasha jumped up in indignation, only to be pulled back down by his brother.

"He does not lie." Was the surprising statement from Sesshoumaru. All eyes turned to him in amazement; "But, he evades the truth." The Taiyoukai turned to the accused and asked him if he had hired the panther or caused him to be in the Western Lands. Faced with that question and the knowledge that the Inu's could detect a falsehood as well as several of his own people, East nodded his head.

"He was not hired to kill any of your pups Sesshoumaru; that would gain me nothing and I do not agree with mindlessly killing anything, least of all the defenceless. I presume your hanyou killed him before determining his purpose; rather a foolish thing to do wouldn't you say?" His eyes never left Inuyasha as the boy leapt up out of his seat again; only this time Sesshoumaru got up as well and with a nod of apology to the assembly, he took his brother outside privately.

"Inuyasha you must sit still; or I will give you a valid reason to remain standing."

"He is a damn twisted, lying, scheming...and you wouldn't dare!"

"He may be all those things, but you are playing into his hands by showing yourself up as a hot headed and possibly unreliable witness. Do not make me prove that I carry out my threats; Father taught me in the same way and I found, to my personal cost and pain, that a threat is only worth making _**if **_you carry it out where neccessary and Father always followed through. Now are you prepared to trust me and sit still? Next time I have to take you out; everyone will know why."

"Sadistic bas..." He stopped when he saw Sesshoumaru's face warning him. "You're enjoying this aren't you? Treating me like a whelp...Still better your whelp than when I was less than the dirt under your foot...Feh, I'll be good. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"That will do nicely; thankyou Inuyasha." And Sesshoumaru ruffled his brother's hair fondly and annoyingly; very relieved that his brother had accepted his discipline without too much fuss. He had been prepared for the pup to storm off in a major sulk; rebelling against his brother's authority and yelling that he could look after himself and not be told how to act or behave. In fact he had two soldiers ready on standby to follow Inuyasha discreetly if he did in fact do a runner, they were already and waiting as he had taken the hanyou outside.

Sesshoumaru would have understood; for although Inuyasha was still technically a pup, he'd had to grow up far too soon and be responsible for himself far too early, in his short but traumatic life. This acceptance was a breakthrough for Seshoumaru and he would have to take great care in nurturing the small flame of parental trust that Inuyasha was granting him.

"Tell me about you and Father; what had you done? I can't imagine _you _as anything but the _'perfect'_ son." Inuyasha looked at his brother in genuine interest and Sesshoumaru sighed and looked away; he was not used to speaking anything of his past with his father, let alone when his father was less than pleased with him. But if anyone was entitled to know it would be the sibling he had just threatened as if he were a small pup and if it would help to convince him...

"It was because I too, thought I was the perfect son Inuyasha. I was for the main well behaved, but overly proud and haughty; thinking that everyone else was only for my personal benefit. I was constantly praised for my skills in the dojo and with my tutors. I found all such lessons easy and my own nature made me want to excel in all the things I was being taught. I started to look down with great disdain upon the more humble creatures of the Palace and eventually it came to a head.

"One of the Palace cleaners, an old youkai who I later learned had asked to serve in the cleaning department rather than retire away from the home he knew and loved with his friends; had been cleaning the hallway and I thought he had not removed himself quickly enough from where I wished to walk. I kicked over his pail and walked my muddy boots all over the fresh floor. Unfortunately for myself, father had seen it all and took me to task. I was to clean the floor in stead of the old servant, to learn how important everyone is in the running of a great Palace and it's upkeep or accept alternative punishment.

"I of course, refused such a menial task and once asked if that were my final say, I said yes. Father then, without warning or further option to me; proceeded to upend me over his knee right there and then, where anyone could walk past and I believe you would say 'tanned my hide' until I was reduced to tears. Then I had to apologise and _still _mop the floor myself; under threat of another humiliating spanking. Needless to say, I learned how much effort it took to keep my home clean and tidy and I have had a healthy respect for all the work my servants do since then."

Inuyasha was astounded at this little tale, he couldn't ever have imagined his brother in such trouble; but it made both Sesshoumaru and his father seem more real, as family to him. He leaned against Sesshoumaru grinning and said;

"Let's go back, I'll be good and wait on you. I trust you." Realising they had now been gone quite some time; they both walked back and apologised for the delay, but to both their bond was more important than any meeting however important the matters being discussed. Eyebrows were raised slightly as the brothers retook their seats and Kouga was surprised to see the calmer and more contented look on Inuyasha's face.

The Lord of the East too realised that things had changed and his moment to disconcert the young hanyou might be lost. But he was long in the tooth and far older than either of the Inus; he would change tack if need be and then come back to his original course. It would lead to the same thing in the end.

"Are things settled now between you My Lord? Good, then perhaps you wouldn't mind explaining why your half brother murdered one of my servants before ascertaining the reason for his presence. Surely although a servant this time, next time it may be someone of your own household; even your own child perhaps, could be removed for trying to 'play' with the nervous creature."

TBC


	36. The Meeting

Ch 36 The Meeting

Silence greeted this horrible notion put forward by East and instantly Inuyasha's scent flared into one of trepidation; his body shaking in his alarm. His panic was obvious to many in the company and Kouga moved closer to him to lend him support by his very presence. Sesshoumaru although not moving from his position, used his youki to calm his brother as much as he could, never taking his eyes from the Lord of the East, who he could now see was greedily watching Inuyasha with lascivious desire. The Taiyoukai was absolutely furious at the Lord; but nobody would have known, Sesshoumaru was a master at masking his true feelings behind his well known stoic mask.

The Lord was trying to cause Inuyasha to lose his cool, to make him look like the sort of person who _would_ strike first and ask questions later; it was imperative that Inuyasha keep his head now and trust his brother. Inuyasha became aware of a very low growl; soft and comforting and he looked to his brother who was still not looking at him, but at East. There was no outward evidence but he knew that the sound was coming from Sesshoumaru and that only one with canine ears would pick it up which let out most of the youkai sitting on the opposite to him; it was the sound that reassured and at the same time commanded obedience and it worked, Inuyasha started to calm down.

Sesshoumaru kept the company waiting; while he sat calm and serene, letting the others get hot under the collar. Then he spoke;

"Lord Kouga, how did your mate describe the approach and attack of this panther?"

"Ayame could at first see nothing but shifting darkness and she knew that something was approaching in a stealthy manner. Her words were 'creeping in the shadows'. She told me that his scent was adrenelin based, sweat and tension were also evident and she said that she recognised the scent that a hunter exudes. My mate is well qualified to identify these odours as she is a wolf and as it is well known and documented, we canines have a remarkable ability to decipher scent."

"I trust nobody doubts the veracity of Lord Kouga's account or that of his mate?" Asked Sesshoumaru. The Panther Lord answered smugly;

"No body doubts the word of a pregnant female who can be easily made nervous. No one would do her that discourtesy; but My Lords, she was in the company of a young hanyou who had that huge sword which almost obliterated the servant. I am not saying that either is lying, merely that they fed off each other's fears and over emphasized in their minds the perceived danger. It is easily understandable Lord Kouga.

"And your answer to my brother, he is neither pregnant nor neurotic?"

"Is it not a _little_ insecure Lord Sesshoumaru? It tries to find a permanant place in your home by guarding your pups and then overreacts to a danger, in the hope to make itself indespensible to you. I tried to warn you before; it seeks to buy your allegiance; the creature is sly. Let me speak with the hanyou." East had slipped back into not even considering that Inuyasha was anything more than a thing to be bought or sold, Sesshoumaru noted and so did others; but he nodded his head to allow the boy to be questioned.

"Hanyou, your biggest fear is that once the fame of your victory over the other halfbreed dies down, that your full youkai brother will once again disown you; casting you out to the life of bare existence you had before, isn't it? So you seek any means at your disposal to give him reason to offer you shelter and yet you know too, that the day will inevitably come when something will happen to make him turn on you again. Perhaps with the words of disdain and disgust and probably a hand raised to punish or kill you; in fact as he more normally treats you.

"That panther you destroyed was acting on a suggestion I made; but not an order given. I had been speaking about the strange situation in West's household concerning you and had wondered if you were stolen from the grounds, whether or not your half brother would even care enough to search for you. I thought not; as it would show you were not adequate to look after yourself, let alone his heir. I told you then that I think you are dangeous to have around a child, you might put the heir at risk to stage a show of how good you are at protection. Sesshoumaru is still young and inexperienced in the ways of the deceitful trickery of the desperate.

"I offered you an alternative to living that way, you would have your own room and clothes, in fact anything you wish within reason and when I finish with you I will let you go wherever you wish. I might even mark you as protected by me; to be returned unspoiled and unharmed in case I wanted you back. It is a generous offer and better than you will ever get once Sesshoumaru is through with you, when the novelty of you being Naraku's slayer wears off and he finds other guards more experienced for his child's welfare.

"Come now, you did not pull away from my touch; did you hanyou? I think it pleased you and I would teach you to enjoy much more than I did in the garden. I am not cruel in the bedroom, as such. You could even probably find work in one of the higher houses, plying your trade; once you were well trained and we parted company." The panther was well aware of the silent tears falling from Inuyasha's eyes, even though the boy had bowed his head in submission to his words and had no answer for him and made no sound.

Neither did Sesshoumaru make any move towards his brother, although he too was totally aware of Inuyasha's upset frame of mind; at least not until he made a movement with his hand to alert a servant who carried a bowl to place in front of Inuyasha, just in time. Once again the poor pup lost his stomach contents and he only just heard the voice saying that that reaction, should be beaten out of him as soon as possible. Inuyasha could take no more and despite his desire to stay seated to please Sesshoumaru, he had to get out.

Kouga came to find him and he held the silver mane out of Inuyasha's face as the boy heaved until he had nothing left. Kouga rubbed his back gently and came to sit beside him when he'd finished, utterly exhausted and offered him a square of silk to wipe his face that bore Sesshoumaru's scent, carrying the hidden message that Sesshoumaru understood and was not angry for his disobedience. When Inuyasha was a little more composed, Kouga went with him to the tents where he helped him clean up and change into fresh clothes; a little concerned that the boy had not spoken at all.

Suddenly though, Inuyasha pulled himself straight; adjusted his clothes so they were fitting him perfectly and combed his hair. He looked at himself in the glass and apart from the slightly blotchy face and pinked eyes; he was presentable again and gave a small smile to Kouga. In truth he felt terrible, his whole reason for existence kept being paraded in front of everyone's eyes, as if he were nothing at all except some dumb animal that didn't know or care for anything better. Either he was to be a whore or else not more than a child's slave; he would never have any respect and it made him yearn for his tree or his cave.

As Inuyasha re-entered the tent, Sesshoumaru could pick up the scent of resigned despondency easily; plus his brother's whole demeaner was defeated and the youkai cursed the Panther Lord yet again for feeding the self doubts, the boy had in abundance. Yet he could also see the determination that had set in around the eyes and mouth of his brother that indicated that Inuyasha had come to a conclusion. It had better just be the right one. Everyone waited until Inuyasha was seated again before the advisor who was heading the proceedings spoke again.

"My Lords, does anyone else wish to speak or have anything to say that has not been said? It is not disputed that a servant of My Lord East was killed, but it is also acknowledged that he was acting unwisely on his own behest in trying to curry favour with his Lord. He has paid the price for that; but in saying this, My Lord East feels somewhat responsible for putting forward an idea that was then acted upon independantly. The requirements for reparation shall now be put forward. Lord Kouga?

"No harm came to my mate or pup this time and it is admitted that murder was not the intent. I require no further satisfactionthan than that a repeat will not be tolerated." Lord East looked smugly across at Inuyasha from Kouga and the advisor asked Sesshoumaru to speak next.

"I think my brother should have the next say."

"The hanyou My Lord? Very well, he may answer My Lord East's proposal for him; but he is not entitled to any form of retribution; if you feel that as your property he has been damaged in any way you may make your claim to cover that. Inuyasha raised his head and looked directly for the first time to Lord East. He spoke quietly and solomnly;

"I am no one's property nor will I become yours, neither can I deny that I did not resist you; but it was not for the reason you suspect. I _can_ deny your assumption about my motives for the things I do, I can say you are mistaken. But I know you believe you speak the truth now. You did stretch your knowledge when you insulted me the first time about my parents, but insults can also be true even if not pleasant. I do not know what my future holds; but it does lie with my brother Sesshoumaru and not you, because whatever happens, one thing about my brother I do know and that is that he doesn't lie. You do not know all the things he has said to me and you don't know him well enough to make any judgement on what he intends to do.

I came here wanting to kill you for the things you have said and done to me. But I cannot kill someone for acting on what he believes, however much I despise him. I just want to go home and never see you again." Only then did Inuyasha look away from the eyes of his would be seducer who gave him a vicious look back before saying;

"I can wait hanyou, one day I will pick you up when your brother has finished with you and thrown you out with the waste, then I shall see if you are redeemable."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, how can we settle your honour? Would you like to speak now?" The advisor took charge once again and Sesshoumaru stood.

"Where to start? I shall not employ rhetoric, I will just state the facts. You were invited to my house to partake of the celebration of the naming and presenting of my firstborn heir. During that time you made obnoxious assertions about my father and Inuyasha's mother in front of the boy; then you carried on about my own intentions towards him, some of which you have all heard quite obviously repeated here. In doing so you have in effect called _me_ a liar several times, undermining my rule; in a vain attempt to seduce Inuyasha to your own carnal desires, by making him feel unsafe in his own home and trying to cause dissension between us.

"Not only have you assaulted him with degrading speech and then by intimate touch, you have subjected my brother to danger from an uncontrolled servant that you had suggested kidnap him and watched as you made no attempt to stop said servant. What would have happened to my brother had such an attempt been successful? I do not for one moment think that Inuyasha would have had any say in what would happen to him. Given Your Lord's proclivity for treating the boy as an object and not as a being with rights; I know that he would have been raped as soon as possible; in the hopes that it would make me disinclined to care about and retrieve him.

"Inuyasha could not fight back against the personal attack he was subjected to, as he had in his arms my newborn pup and he didn't know if any other assassins were around. He put himself in jeopardy rather than risk harm coming to my heir. Now I have a question for each of you Lords. Should I come to your homes and do such things as were done to my brother, but to one of your pack marked maiden children, including attempted kidnap with the intention of raping and spoiling the child, what would you demand be done to me?"

Silence greeted his question and declaration.

"All of you would consider such actions as acts of war; as do I and yet because my brother is a hanyou, some of you consider him as expendable. I do not. He is the marked and presented son of our great father as much as I am. He is a minor under my acknowledged protection; a fact of which East was fully aware at the time he assaulted my underaged brother. East has in fact violated my trust and declared my protection as worthless; even going so far as suggesting his own mark would be more protective of my brother in my stead.

"Hear my terms for reparation. Unless you wish for all out war with many of your innocent subjects killed and your maidens and women at risk of rape and pillage; you will hand East over to me. I demand he die."

This time the silence was deafening. Nobody could refute Sesshoumaru's logic nor righteous anger at the insults as he saw them. In truth they all agreed, it was just the fact that the hanyou was involved that was the problem. Had it been a full child of Sesshoumaru's or his full brother, there would have been no question of the guilt and retribution would have been carried out. But in the end it was the fact that Sesshoumaru's own mark having been discarded, that was the deciding factor.

No youkai however great or small should ignore a mark of protection be it a pack or a mating mark. Marks were sacrosanct and East had called the viability of West's honour in denouncing publicly, Sesshoumaru's intention to safeguard his marked pack no matter whom he had decided to mark. He had inferred that Inuyasha would not be cared for as a pack member by his brother and had tried to steal the boy away, expecting impunity because Inuyasha was a worthless hanyou. No youkai would stand for that; certainly not one who ruled and whose word was trusted and relied on. East had underestimated Sesshoumaru.

The eldest son of the Panther stood up. So far he had said nothing but had watched all the proceedings.

"We do not want war with West and we understand the implications of your condemnation of my father and fully endorse your reasons. I would like to apologise on behalf of the Eastern Lands for the slander you suffered and a personal apology from us for the treatment of Inuyasha. I recognise the symptoms your brother suffers My Lord, as my own mate's sister underwent abuse; she still has nightmares too." Sesshoumaru nodded by way of answer to East's heir.

"My Lord Sesshoumaru, may I beg clemency for my father's life. He is not an evil man in reality, just foolish and lecherous; but I do not believe he realised that he was causing actual harm to your brother." Sesshoumaru wasn't so sure about that statement, he'd heard some of the words that had been said to Inuyasha.

"I could place him in a house of exile on my lands Sesshoumaru." Volunteered South. "He could be kept safe there with only family as visitors."

"It would have to be understood that if any of the conditions placed on him were broken, his life would be immediately forfeit and that clemency would not be seen as a sign of weakness. The moment East mobilised for attack, the former Lord and all his household would be executed and war would not be averted a second time."

"That would be acceptable Lord Sesshoumaru and I thank you for your mercy."

"See that it is not abused. You are now the Lord of the East and I trust you will be a more satisfactory leader than your father. My advisors will sort out the details, I am now taking my pup home.

TBC


	37. Returns

Ch 37 Returns

Grabbing Inuyasha around the waist, Sesshoumaru lifted into the air on his youki cloud and just said _'Follow'_ to the rest of the group leaving them to follow as they would. He sped towards the Palace and once there he landed in the dojo area; stripped both himself and Inuyasha from their finer kimonos and throwing his brother a pair of training hakama he stood ready to spar, before Inuyasha had time to even register what had happened.

"Fight me Inuyasha, come on; fight. I know that you want to, so come at me." As he spoke he jabbed at his brother with the tip of a training sword until with a roar, Inuyasha was annoyed enough to fight back. They traded blow for blow; although Sesshoumaru was much calmer, as Inuyasha got more angry. This was purely an excercise to let the boy let of steam and eventually all Sesshoumaru was doing was defending against more and more powerful but erratic moves. When Inuyasha threw the sword away with a shriek of anguish; putting his hands to his face, Sesshoumaru was immediately in front of him holding him tightly against himself as Inuyasha shrieked his rage and humiliation, almost incoherent with his frustration.

His bitterness at how ignorant he felt, how he couldn't speak as well as even Kouga and then the misery of facing the former Eastern Lord and hearing the panther's desires and plans for him. Inuyasha began to wonder if he was fit for anything, he would always be the pup's protector but even that was limited; it would not be long before the child was more powerful than he was and what would he do then? He hated feeling useless or dead weight; he was not lazy but what good was he, an uneducated, unsophisticated and useless hanyou?

Sesshoumaru was learning and by applying what he knew now; that this was the human element of Inuyasha's makeup that was so loudly upset, he let Inuyasha have his say just as he would for Rin when sometimes she seemed to become a banshee. Rin had become a 'little woman' in the last couple of months and Kagura said that the tempermental moods were normal in human females, sometimes also in youkai ones; but it was more pronounced in the human who tended to be more emotional. Obviously the cause was different, but Inuyasha's human side still needed to 'let go'.

It felt secure to shout at his brother, safe and familiar but for once he was not ridiculed for being a halfbreed or a pathetic excuse of a youkai. It was a new and good feeling to be able to sound off, without the usual reproaches and even better when Sesshoumaru was silent but still giving off an aura of care and not disinterest. Inuyasha felt so sick of screaming and crying and was ashamed that his brother and Kagura had seen him so often this way recently; but Sesshoumaru seemed to understand that too and calmed him, saying that after all he'd been through, his reactions were only to be expected.

When Inuyasha raised his head and started to pull away, Sesshoumaru didn't let him go; but he wiped the boy's face with a silk square gently and enquired if Inuyasha felt better now.

"Pretty pathertic, aren't I; I never used to do all this stupid screamy, weepy stuff..."

"Do not be concerned; it is natural for not only the human heart you have, but as a youkai you are very young. You feel safe now and able to release your sorrow and for that I am glad. It is not pathetic; I believe you have been as Kagura puts it _'bottling it up'. _for far too long. Are you ready now to freshen up and come back to the family? " The answer he got was another hug and a nod from Inuyasha and they went to the baths attached to the dojo. Bath attendents were ready and waiting for them and although Inuyasha was not used to someone bathing him, Sesshoumaru said he would need help with his hair; which still held the faint aroma of his vomit.

Once they were both clean and respectable, they went to greet the family and guests again. Most of the others would be back in dribs and drabs, those who had no special powers would be accompanied by Sesshoumaru's soldiers until they reached the Palace. Inuyasha was immediately swamped by the females who wanted to make sure that he was unharmed; Kagura and Ayame both fussing and checking him over, much to the amusement of his brother and then when Rin too was trying to get in on the act, he nearly laughed.

Dinner was happy and informal despite the number of guests; business was not discussed at all, anything that needed to be shared with others would be done at a later time. Yuki was very pleased to see the brothers back and got very excited, especially when Inuyasha wouldn't put him down unless he was given to one of his parents and then given straight back. Then implimented immediately around all three pups, but without being too obvious was the no go area; many of the guards remembering the strategy from when Sesshoumaru was himself a boy.

A few days later, Inuyasha broached the idea of visiting Miroku, Sango and Shippou; wanting to make sure that they had everything they needed to keep them comfortable for when their baby arrived. Sesshoumaru agreed without a fuss and Inuyasha set out; although he was going to visit with Kaede first to make sure she was fine. He didn't realise that his brother had assigned him two guards since the incident with East and Sesshoumaru considered that Inuyasha didn't need to know either; the guards were very well able to keep out of sensing range unless required.

Kaede was very happy to see Inuyasha; as were the others who were staying in the village now until after the birth, as Sango wanted Kaede to assist her and they had an empty hut in the village temporarily. Shippou had grown a little bit, from what Inuyasha could see and had obviously settled happily into his new family for which the hanyou was very grateful; as it eased his own sense of obligation towards the small kitsune. Once again there was a lot of catching up to do, but this time the couple made sure that Inuyasha shared his news. This was easier said than done but Miroku was still good at winding him up gently and making him say more than he was going to.

Inuyasha didn't really mind, it was the way it worked best for him as he was not used to just talking about himself. Miroku was astounded to find out that Sesshoumaru had adopted Inuyasha as if he were his own pup until he came of age. He had not realised that in actual fact Inuyasha and Kagome were of similar relative ages, with the hanyou perhaps a year, her senior. In Miroku's eyes it explained a lot about the hanyou's sometimes childish behaviour and personality and from the look on Sango's face, she too had not understood it either until now.

They did not tease him too much, not enough to make him angry; but Inuyasha's eyes did glow a little red when Miroku couldn't resist asking what time 'Papa Sesshoumaru' had given him as bed time, when it was time for them to leave. Once again Inuyasha was going to stay in Kaede's hut for the night and the elderly Miko had reserved her questions until the others had gone; this was the time that Inuyasha would open up to her if he was ever going to. In the half light thrown by the fire and after he had eaten and they were alone, Inuyasha would sometimes trust her and share his thoughts; knowing that he could trust in the Miko's silence.

"Ye still sleep in thy family's futon Inuyasha? Thy brother has reverted back to the old ways for the Inu; this is good."

"Feh! He says it is a long time because our family has been so small, just him and me and we've not been on the best of terms till now."

"Well I'm glad he has started the tradition again; it suits ye child, thou art happier and more content, safe. Are ye not Inuyasha?"

"Keh! If I can keep my youkai in check; I know that he sees me as a pup and perhaps it's just as well."

"Tell me what ye did."

"It was when the pup first came to bed. In my sleep I must've smelt Kagura's milk and started to nuzzle at her. I didn't know, but Sessh pulled me away and spoke to my youkai. It's not happened since. But I don't know why it happened then."

"That child is easy to explain; Any mother's milk is a form of comfort and security, thou has felt for the first time safe where ye are and thy instincts have been very much those of a pup recently. It is just an overlapping in thy mind and Lord Sesshoumaru and Kagura realised this, they made no fuss did they? Then ye shouldn't either."

"I suppose so; it's all happened so fast Kaede."

"Aye child, but it is not bad; thou has the chance to grow up in safety now. Take that chance; as we've said before, there are plenty of second families in the same position that thou finds thyself in; with a father's first family standing in the parents shoes when death robs them both. I see thou art marked at last, that is all to the good and I heard that ye had a Naming and Presentation Day, also quite right and proper. Thy brother has honour, he will not shirk his responsibilities."

"I know, it's just taking a bit of settling down."

"That too is to be expected, how are ye now with the young girl, Rin."

"O.K. We worked well together on the Frog Pond and she's not a bad brat." He yawned and was sleepy; surprising Kaede, but she knew better than to ask anymore. She would find out soon enough, as anything pertaining to the local youkai or their Lords filtered through eventually. There was however no doubt in the Miko's mind that the family in the Western Palace was shaking down together well. Inuyasha finished telling her about the toys he'd made for Yuki and then curled himself in the corner of the cosy hut to sleep although finding that he felt lonely without his family around him. It was a nice feeling to know that he too would be missed and that he would be welcomed back with open arms.

While Inuyasha was away visiting, an express runner reached the Western Lands and reported to Sesshoumaru. It was news of the former Lord of the East; he had been killed trying to escape. The Panther had not taken any of the warnings he'd been given seriously and had made a break during the night for his stronghold in the East. The guards had had no option but to kill him and Sesshoumaru cleared them of blame as the old Lord had known the terms for his life.

Then there was a private missive from the new lord that Sesshoumaru had no intention of sharing with anyone. The new lord had written that his father had seemed besotted with Inuyasha and had spoken of keeping him in a form of 'gilded cage'. Given that Inuyasha would always be a target for his father; even if banished he would still have connections, the lord thought that the best solution had probably been reached. Sesshoumaru sent his 'condolences' and vowed not to let Inuyasha find out about the contents of the letter; very glad that the boy was not at the Palace when the courier had arrived.

The next day in the village, Shippou was showing Inuyasha all the things he was learning with the adult kitsune of his village. His tricks had greatly improved and so had his hunting skills. Inuyasha doubted that there was anything more he would have been able to teach the kit; as the skills for the hunt of a kitsune, were different to his own. He was equally fascinated with the movements of Sango's child in her belly, the slayer allowing Inuyasha to lay his hand on her bump to feel the babe kick. Miroku had to laugh at the organ stop eyes of his friend and especially when Inuyasha lay his head down, listening with his triangular puppy ears to the babe's heartbeat as well.

Inuyasha also helped with any of the running repairs of the village; making sure fences and huts were in good order before the late autumn winds started to bring in the colder weather. Then he was often to be found, once more staring into the old bone eater well; where if anyone were around to listen to him, he would hear the softly spoken words as Inuyasha re-capped on all of the things that had happened to him since last he'd been around. The pain of losing Kagome was still enough to bring the tears; but the sharpness of the resulting life he would have had, once upon a time, was gradually lessening because of the acceptance of his true family.

Miroku came up to him and stared at the well with his hanyou friend. Already the grasses and climbing plants were starting to conceal the well and for Inuyasha the scent of his beloved Kagome was fading fast; soon it would be as if she had never been and in fact that was now the truth as the timeline had changed. Miroku said nothing, he didn't need to; but he put his arm around Inuyasha's shoulders and drew him away and as he did so, he remarked that Kaede had some dinner for them all.

He stayed a few days longer, even sitting for the sculptor who was making the monument; but his patience was beginning to thin and he wanted to be out of the village soon. It no longer held the same attraction for him as a home base that it used to, when the whole group would be all gathered around Kaede's fire. The times had been exciting and dangerous, but Inuyasha found that he didn't miss the adrenelin rush so much any more and he still had most of the companionship if he wished.

Instead he found he had a wistful longing to return home to the West; Sesshoumaru and his brother's family were where he now belonged, away from the smelly human village. He would always protect it and the humans who lived here; because it had been a home of sorts and held some of his most vibrant memories, but if it were not for Kaede he would no longer visit as often. In a few years there would be inevitable change with people growing older and new birth but that would just mean less people in the future who would remember. They would eventually just be a legend linked to a statue, he would stay young while all those he knew would grow old and die and Inuyasha didn't care to watch.

So it was in a couple of days, Inuyasha said goodbye; with promises to come back when the child was born. When he was out of sight his speed increased and happily, soon the air was fresher. Joyfully he sped on and his heart felt so full when he came back to the Palace; especially when Sesshoumaru actually came out to greet him, telling him that he had been missed. His return home meal was like before; not overly ornate but special enough and he was surrounded by his loved ones with his nephew in his arms and crowing loudly, glad to have his uncle back.

That night asleep in the family futon Inuyasha had sweet dreams again; he was surrounded by the warmth of his kin, strange family that it was, he would not trade it now for anything. Tomorrow would bring changes for him of which he was yet unaware; but they would be good ones, as Sesshoumaru had been planning for him.

TBC


	38. To Educate Inuyasha

Ch 38 To Educate Inuyasha

While Inuyasha was away visiting his old village; Sesshoumaru had been thinking about some of the things that the pup had let slip with his anger. Several times Inuyasha had mentioned feeling ignorant and stupid; Sesshoumaru knew that the pup was far from stupid, but he had obviously lacked a formal education and that was the real problem. So he wanted to make plans for the boy's education. But where to put him; that was the difficulty. There were several areas that housed the schooling of the young of the household and the Great Dog General had insisted that the early stages of learning for his first son, were to be carried out with the other pups, cubs and kits.

This was too show that all had the same capability and opportunity for gaining knowledge; plus an ignorant household did not do anyone any favours and he'd found that the loyalty of his staff had increased by treating them as not just mindless and disposable. Sesshoumaru saw no reason to change the system; it had worked well for his father and it worked well for him, he was still receiving the best service from his staff as always. Of course they were only taught the basics and some history etc but it was a lot more than other Lords or nobles did for their households. All had access to the library too as a privilege they could earn, or lose.

The more noble of the household however had further education and the higher the rank, the more golden the opportunities. Inuyasha should have had those same lessons that Sesshoumaru had been given as his birthright and the Taiyoukai saw the neglect of his father's blood as shameful once more. There really were no excuses for his treatment of his younger brother; hanyou or not; so it was his duty to try and rectify the mistake. He was still pondering how to best work it out, while he was sparring with Shingi.

"You are distracted today Sire." Commented Shingi. "Is there something I can do?"

"Perhaps, you have always given me sound advice where my brother is concerned. Is he a good student?"

"Very; he is enthusiatic and now he sees the reason for training his skills, he works very hard to excel. He reminds me a lot of yourself in that fact Sire."

You are fond of him, in the same way as when he was a young whelp?"

"We could not help but be fond of the child, My Lord; he was an endearing creature and when we guarded him he was no trouble. And yes, he is very likeable still."

"I value your candor as always." Sesshoumaru said drily as he was deliberately reminded of his hatred for the innocent whelp.

"You have enough people around you Sire; should you just wish to hear, what pleases you to hear. I have never been like that and I will not change. Should we have been equals, I would have been proud to be known as your friend; as it is, I am still your friend."

"This I know and honour in you. My problem lies in Inuyasha and education; the pup has very little formal knowledge and his reading and writing skills lack the ability for him to improve much on his own. I already use the best tutors for the schools here and I cannot ask them to take on an extra workload in reality. Inuyasha is not much above the youngest of the students and yet he may feel humiliated should I ask him to join them. It would not do a great deal for the respect such pups should have for him either."

"That decision is a wise one Sire; I presume that has led you to think of putting him with the older boys and 'The Bear'."

"Of course; it seems the only logical alternative to me."

"You said that you appreciated my honesty; coupled with it's lack of respect didn't you Sire? That would not be a good idea in my mind."

"We are alone Shingi, you know you may speak your mind freely when we are not overheard."

"I value your trust Sire; when we were under 'The Bear', he was a good and strict tutor. Time has not mellowed him at all; I still threaten the recruits with sending them back for his discipline, to great effect. Inuyasha wouldn't stand a chance, his language and frustration wouldn't be tolerated for one second and 'The Bear's thrashings are still legendary. It would not be seen as fair should he get away with things the other students cannot, but it wouldn't be fair either to put the pup through any more brutality. Surely he has seen enough of that in his short life."

"He wouldn't put up with it for a second Shingi, I'd find 'The Bear' at the end of the Palace with a Kaze no Kizu running through him." This vindictive thought made Sesshoumaru chuckle; because even he, the highly exalted son of the Lord had not been immune from the odd punishment session from 'The Bear'. But Shingi shook his head;

"But he would, if _you _had asked it of him Sire and he would not complain; he never did. He would sit and try to learn, putting up with any form of punishment purely because he would think you wished him to learn. He may even think that anything that 'The Bear' dished out at him would be on your express order, he doesn't know the history of the Palace and its schooling, let alone it's tutors."

Shingi was correct, Sesshoumaru knew that now. Inuyasha's personality was reverting; becoming much more like he had been, before he buried it away and then was sealed to the tree. The brash and vulgar creature that had been freed by Kagome, was not his normal persona; but one assumed as protection for his heart which had been sorely treated and was fragile. But he did still have a temper and although Inuyasha as he was now, would be eager to please where he found affection; if he failed or was laughed at he would soon revert back, even if he _was _trying to please Sesshoumaru.

"I do not think he would be the same pup when he finished his education, as he is now; were he subjected to 'The Bear's' regime. You would find him sullen and withdrawn again."

"You are correct of course Shingi, but I know of no other private tutors who would suit or be worthy, we already have the best."

"Yes we do, but you have forgotten the very best tutor is not currently teaching school. One who is knowledgeable and can be extremely patient and who has already proved effective in some of the boy's education."

"The person eludes This Sesshoumaru, Shingi. Be more specific."

"You Sire, you should do this and in a way, your dilemma is of your own making and now you are responsible."

"That may have been possible when Inuyasha thought he was a child, but he wouldn't accept it now. He remembers all he has been through and even if he has forgiven me, our violent past is far too recent for him to be that submissive. He would certainly think I mocked him." Sesshoumaru looked into the kind eyes of Shingi, grateful to see understanding and not more condemnation. The guard decided to tell Sesshoumaru about the times when Inuyasha was alone in the cave, after he'd rejected the stone family.

"I know that he told you not to visit him at the cave; but he still looked for you and cleared up, hoping you would come. I could smell his sadness when you didn't; but you know that yourself because you came a couple of times. What you did _not _always see was the diligent effort he would put in with his practice. Practicing the things you had taught him and he talks a lot to himself, more than he knows; he would carry on as if you were still with him, talking to you and asking if he was forming the letters and numbers correctly."

"I did not realise."

"You have _never _realised how much he idolises you Sire, he always has and always will, that is one of the reasons his pain has always been so great. I think you owe him your time My Lord and he will blossom and become all you hope for in your brother."

"He thought he was a child then though Shingi; now he is a warrior, he will think me condescending."

"I beg to differ Sire; as my sister says _'all pups really want is your time and attention it is the best gift you can give them' _and if Inuyasha has accepted being under your protection as if he were your pup, I think you will find he will welcome you teaching him. Perhaps if you _ask,_ rather than tell."

"It will take much commitment and effort, time I can ill afford; but you are right, he deserves my time if that is what he wants and needs. I shall arrange my schedule to suit and then make the offer." Shingi could not help the look of approval that flashed across his face and Sesshoumaru noticed. "It is well that you are a good friend Shingi and that I know you do not mock This Sesshoumaru."

"Would I ever Sire?" Shingi answered grinning as he prepared once again to battle his Lord in the dojo. The pair were fairly evenly matched although Sesshoumaru was easily stronger; but Shingi could give his Master a worthy workout. This time with his mind settled on what he was to do, the Youkai Lord was much more focused and Shingi was soon defeated; saluting his superior. At least Sesshoumaru was a worthy Lord to serve, unlike the former East; he would always listen to what his people had to say and anybody could approach him even if with trepidation.

In turn Sesshoumaru valued any input; he may not show any response, but he considered that anybody who was brave enough to offer him any thought was deserving of a hearing and he would consider it's value. Sometimes he had been known to reward any advice he took but that was so rare that it went unnoticed and he was not bombarded with every Tom, Dick or Harry dogging his heels. His chosen advisors had learned very early in their careers to be discerning and only Shingi had the freedom to speak as boldly as he did.

Sesshoumaru's father had chosen his son's servant companions wisely and with full knowledge and understanding of his son's temperament. The young youkai may not ever have friends as such, but these would grow to be the closest thing to them. Sesshoumaru spent the next afternoon planning, so that he could devote adequate daily time exclusively to Inuyasha's education; he had trusted nobles who could do his workload for a few hours every day, after all they had managed to do so whenever he took his patrols. Kagura was supportive of the idea and a small room that adjoined the brothers' respective suites was set aside as a small schoolroom, with desk and writing tools.

Everything was ready for when Inuyasha came back and Sesshoumaru couldn't help his own desire that his brother would accept his offer. He had enjoyed the times he had spent in the cave; assisting the pup to form his letters, the brothers had grown close and he'd been saddened that the occasions had been forgotten when Inuyasha regained his true memories. All the other things they had done as a new family when Inuyasha was lost inside himself, had been remembered in some form or another. They had been discussed freely by his brother since he'd recovered, but he'd never once mentioned the times when it had just been himself and Sesshoumaru.

That was the elder brother's deepest worry concerning this; if Inuyasha had no memory of learning with Sesshoumaru, would he feel that the youkai was not fully prepared to accept him as he was? Would Inuyasha feel obligated and resentful; afraid to decline the offer in case he was then seen as ungrateful, no longer worthy of Sesshoumaru or even living in the Palace? The Western Lord knew that all those thoughts could easily pass through his brother's mind, he'd used Inuyasha's insecurities against him often enough in the past and not enough time had elapsed for his brother to instantly dismiss the negative thoughts.

Time, it was said was a great healer; but that was not strictly true, it was more what you did with the time that could help healing. Only positive experience over time would evnetually make Inuyasha _never _doubt, his brother's love and concern. Sesshoumaru knew that he was on the right path to doing this when he went to greet Inuyasha back to his home. The boy's face was open and happy at being met with such a welcome and also the treats he liked as food for the evening meal, went a long way to showing that Inuyasha was now an important and wanted member of the family.

The next morning after Inuyasha's return, Sesshoumaru asked Inuyasha to accompany him into the gardens so that they could talk privately and also because the beautiful park like area would be soothing in case his brother was affronted by the offer.

"I wish to talk to with you Inuyasha. You are happy here are you not?"

"Yes, you know I am Sesshoumaru; why do you ask, is it time for me to go?" Inuyasha immediately sounded and smelt fearful and Sesshoumaru was quick to reassure.

"Nothing like that Little One, it's just that I wish you to be happier. You have lamented several times that you feel uneducated and this is something I can rectify. But I do not wish you to feel I am trying to belittle you in any way."

"What do you want to do with me?"

"Normally the education of any young in the Palace is undertaken in the schools Father set up for the purpose, but neither of them would suit your circumstances."

"Feh!" Inuyasha's fleeting dream of some education came and went in an instant. He tried not to show his disappointment, but his eyes always spoke volumes to his brother.

"I do have a solution sorted out however. It was brought to my attention that you might not mind if _I_ gave you personal tuition. I offer this without intending to demean you. I did come to help you with your lessons when you lived in the cave, we seemed to get along compatably then. It is a great shame you do not remember, as it might help you to understand my offer better." Sesshoumaru turned around; worried by the hint once more, of salt water from his brother. Inuyasha had turned away from him as he dabbed at his eyes with his sleeve. "Inuyasha, you do not like the idea? I had no intention of making you feel sad. I only wish you could remember."

"I do." Inuyasha turned to look at his brother, golden eyes shimmering in the morning sun. "I remember it every day."

"You never mentioned those times, I thought you had forgotten."

"I kept them to myself, they are so precious to me; I thought if I spoke, you might tell me I was imagining and I couldn't have borne it." He wiped his eyes again and leaned back into his brother as Sesshoumaru came and wrapped his arms around him.

"Explain." The elder said coaxingly. Inuyasha took a deep breath to calm his breathing.

"It was just me and you; no one else and you _talked _to me. You were so kind and gentle when you helped me, no comments about my stupidity, no remarks about my being a filthy hanyou and not fit to live. Just a brother helping his brother as if we were equals and you had always loved me. It was so real; you weren't having to impress anybody like Kagura or Setsuzentaru it was just us with no pretense. You didn't sneer at me once; or cuff me, pinch my ears or look at me as if I were trash, you were real. That's why they are such precious memories."

Inuyasha shifted in his brother's arms but Sesshoumaru wouldn't let him turn around, his own eyes had filled with apologetic tears for his brother and he didn't want Inuyasha thinking he was being pitied. But his brother's nose was almost as good as his own and Inuyasha understood and was grateful for Sesshoumaru's gift of his sorrow and regret. After a couple of minutes feeling warm and comforted, Inuyasha said;

"I would be honoured if you could teach me something Big Brother, but do you have the time? I know so little."

"I will always make the time for you Inuyasha, it is my fault that you were denied your education and I shall make amends and do so willingly." He said to forestall Inuyasha's objections to him not being obligated. "In fact I delight to teach you." Then he took Inuyasha inside to show him the small schoolroom that they had prepared.

"Everything is taken care of, we can start after lunch."

TBC


	39. Miscalculation

Ch 39 Miscalculation

Most of the first lesson that the brothers spent together, was in finding out just how much Inuyasha remembered of the lessons he'd had only a few months ago. It quietly amazed the elder brother that Inuyasha was rusty already, but for the hanyou, it was as if years had passed. The memories had been committed to join his past time and to him it was as if he hadn't had learning for a few years. However it didn't take long for his brain to remember and by the end of the afternoon, the writing was as neat as it ever had been and the knowledge he had gleaned had returned to the forefront of his mind.

After only a month of lessons, Inuyasha was coming on in leaps and bounds and the time that the boys spent together was beneficial to them both; drawing them closer and relaxing any of the remaining barriers that could cause problems between them. Sesshoumaru was an excellent teacher; his knowledge was vast but he was also extremely patient and Inuyasha was like a sponge absorbing all that his brother could teach him.

That is not to say that Inuyasha was always docile, sometimes he really didn't understand or else he got stroppy at what he felt was Sesshoumaru's superior attitude. The older brother understood some of the younger one's frustrations; but he too could become exasperated, although when he'd reduced Inuyasha to a silent and sullen pup by introducing him to 'The Bear's' methods of discipline, he vowed it would not happen again.

One day Inuyasha had not stopped swearing and finding fault with everything Sessoumaru was saying, so he'd taken the aggressive pup and dumped him in with the other older boys. Inuyasha had tried to keep up and prove that he no longer needed his brother's condescending ways, but the lessons were too fast and complicated for him; making him feel even more inadequate.

Some of the other boys had smirked hearing the hanyou grumbling under his breath and for the first time in a long while, Inuyasha started a fight with one vocal boy in particular. 'The Bear' had had enough of both of them by then and would not tolerate any further disturbance to his class. He hauled them both to the front and after making them strip off their tops, he thrashed the pair mercilessly until they bled and then dismissed them both to the healers. They were then allowed to go to their families for the rest of the day to recover.

But Shingi was correct; it was not the right way to discipline Inuyasha, it just brought back memories he had been doing his best to forget. He did what he always did when nursing his wounds and went to sit in his tree, hidden from sight in the high foliage and brooded. One thing he _had _learned was that no one was going to tolerate his bad language and behaviour for long; the thought wasn't so displeasing though, he could learn. He should apologise to Sesshoumaru as well; he had acted like a rude and ungrateful whelp.

But Sesshoumaru had had him beaten yet again hadn't he? He may not have done it himself this time, but by giving him to the sadistic old bear thing and those know-it-all kids in his class, he must have known what would happen. Sesshoumaru had punished him for mouthing off, just because he couldn't understand and his mind was wooly today. He then remembered it was the night of the new moon which also had something to do with his frustration that day; as his youki waned, it always made him worried and tense.

Sesshoumaru had gone back to his normal work until he couldn't keep his curiosity contained any more, wondering how his brother was coping in with the other boys. However curiosity turned to concern as he smelt his brother's blood leading from the schoolroom to the healer. On finding out how badly Inuyasha and the other boy had been thrashed, his feeling of guilt was almost a bad taste in his mouth. The healer said that the boys had been dealt with now and both of them had been told to go and rest in their rooms.

Although the youkai couldn't now pick up the scent of Inuyasha it didn't bother him, the creams and ointments used were also used as field dressings and had masking chemicals added so that a wounded youkai could not be tracked and hunted. Sesshoumaru decided to leave Inuyasha alone in his room; while he worked out what the best thing to say to the boy would be. He had not meant for Inuyasha to be beaten, just to make him realise that Sesshoumaru was not such a bad teacher, compared to the alternative.

But he supposed he should have realised; given the foul mood the hanyou had been in, that he would get into some sort of trouble. Then the guilt turned to annoyance, didn't Inuyasha realise just how much Sesshoumaru had done to put aside the time he needed during the afternoons? Well let the pup sulk and lick his 'literal' wounds for a while, perhaps he would appreciate his brother a little more.

He was concerned when Inuyasha was missing for the evening meal but coldly answered enquiries that the young fool had brought about his own problems this time, however when Inuyasha didn't turn up for bed either, Sesshoumaru had had enough and went to fetch him. Only then did he realise that the boy had not been in his room all day, let alone the afternoon and Sesshoumaru's anger evaporated as he once again worried where the pup could be.

As he left the room, he went towards the gardens knowing that Inuyasha often sought refuge in his tree and he was met by Shingi carrying a black haired human boy who was out cold, but burning up with fever. Inuyasha was placed in his bed and the healer sent for. After placing the boy on his chest and exposing the still angry looking welts on his back, Shingi just looked straight at Sesshoumaru and went out; the anger blatent once more on his features.

"I forgot and he didn't remind me." Sesshoumaru said.

"It is _your _duty to remember Sire." Was the curt reply. This was true; Inuyasha never mentioned his human times even now if he could help it, but of course it explained much about the attitude he'd displayed earlier that day. Sesshoumaru watched the healer as she bathed Inuyasha's back with an antiseptic wash and then put a herbal cream over him. She then left a cup of medicine for him to drink when the fever broke, to aid with the pain and help him to sleep again. She offered to stay with the young lord, but Sesshoumaru said that he would watch over him that night.

The punishment that was just meant to be a severe deterent to bad behaviour by youkai in the schoolroom, was far too severe for a hanyou whose powers were waning and who hadn't healed by the time he was human. But it was also grief that had caused this fever, Inuyasha was more emotional when human and more inclined to take slights to heart. Sesshoumaru didn't want anymore misunderstandings and would be there when Inuyasha awakened; so he sat and kept watch stroking the black hair and missing the puppy ears to stroke, which he felt was a shame. Inuyasha was always comforted when they were petted and not hurt, as they were especially sensitive.

Sometime in the small hours the violet eyes opened with a groan as Inuyasha moved and his stiff back objected. He came too as he felt the soft rhythmic stroking of his hair and could just see the stripes on the other elegant wrist of his brother as his arm lay across his lap. When he moaned a second time, he was pulled up into a sit and offered the medicine in the cup. It tasted foul but he knew it would be pointless to resist with Sesshoumaru.

"Drink and go back to sleep Inuyasha, we'll talk in the morning." Inuyasha lay back down again although on his side this time, with his head supported by Sesshoumaru's leg and soon drifted off again to the comfortable soothing of his hair. When the silver bled back into the ebony and the puppy ears returned, Inuyasha awoke and stretched, his back healing swiftly in the surge of his returning youki. He got up to take a bath and wash off the gunk and refresh himself, returning to find Sesshoumaru still there and waiting for him.

"I did not mean for that to happen Inuyasha, it was far too severe for your transgression."

"Feh! I shouldn't have mouthed off and then lost my temper with that brat."

"Why didn't you remind me of the moonless night? Even though as Shingi reminded me forcefully, I should also have remembered."

"I hate remembering, it don't matter anyhow; it's healed forget it." Sesshoumaru noticed that the tone was still sharp and he correctly guessed that Inuyasha was embarrassed. He was however only partly correct, Inuyasha also felt very alone again; he admitted it to himself while he was training in the dojo. Shingi was very aware that something was on the pup's mind and eventually called a halt to the session.

"Is there still pain Inuyasha?"

"Keh! Of course not." He was not completely lying but the pain wasn't physical and he felt like a baby when he admitted what the problem was even to himself. The afternoon was spent with Sesshoumaru, but without the easy atmosphere the other days had seen. Neither brother was provocative to the other, but rather overly polite. Inuyasha did all he was asked but was quiet and sullen which Sesshoumaru found more annoying than the more brash interaction he was more accustomed to with his brother.

After the lessons that day, the healer popped by to check on Inuyasha just to make sure he'd recovered and was glad to see that his back was completely better. As Inuyasha made his way off to whatever he was going to do next, she watched him and turned to her Lord.

"He is still withdrawn Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I am a healer, My Lord, I saw the child yesterday and I know when he is miserable."

"I should think that after the beating, both boys were miserable."

"Of course, but the other lad was soon alright when his parents came and made a fuss over him. Most of the fathers can sympathize; as they were also schooled here and the mothers are happy for the opportunity to baby their boys again, for a while. They perk up pretty quickly."

"Inuyasha was not alright however?"

"What was he like when you went to see him afterwards? They all usually cry for a bit in the privacy of their quarters; most like the sympathy and treats from Mama. Don't you remember Sire? Even _you _welcomed the fuss the Lord and Lady gave you, I remember." She looked at Sesshoumaru fondly; remembering him as he had been, trying to keep the stoic expression, although it had been obvious he had just wanted to get away privately and howl as all the boys did. He did remember now, but why could he not have done so at the time, when Inuyasha had needed it? The healer asked again, "My Lord, how was he then?"

"I did not go and see him. I did not see him until he was brought in and I called you to see to his back." He would not look at her and she in turn was silent as she pondered what to say. Her spike in anger did not go unnoticed but like with Shingi, Sesshoumaru thought it justified.

"I think then you have your answer Lord Sesshoumaru." He did; he had once again left Inuyasha uncomforted, after a punishment he did not deserve and left him to deal with it alone, besides forgetting that he would be human that night. Sesshoumaru had even said to himself that Inuyasha should stew in his own juices for a while as he contemplated all that his older brother had done for him. It seemed that Inuyasha _had _thought and found once again that he was alone, with no loving parents to kiss away his aches and pains or give him treats like the other boys had, including Sesshoumaru.

The Lord realised that he still often thought of himself first when it came to Inuyasha and had not even tried to think why his little brother might act as he did sometimes. He decided that he needed to speak with Inuyasha and went to knock on his door but stopped when he heard someone was already with him. It was Kagura; so Sesshoumaru went into the adjoining schoolroom to listen.

"I'm fine Kagura, please stop fussin' about me. It was my own fault, it's not like I've never had people laugh at me before is it? I shouldn't have decked the kid; I could tell that that bear thing was mean. S'my own fault for forgettin' my human night. Still I'm not soft like that other kid, whose Mama and Papa came and fussed over him; he'd not last long in the wild like that, when you gotta deal with any pain all on your own. Promising him cakes and stuff, humph! Yeah right and _Papa _telling him about the time he got it too and making the kid laugh.

"I can just see Sessh doing that with me. _'You deserved it Inuyasha; don't whine and be thankful I don't beat you some more for disrupting the class' _Inuyasha sounded uncannily like his older brother; so much so that if Kagura hadn't have seen his lips move, she would have looked for Sesshoumaru. However she heard the wistful tone beneath the scornful words and being wise, knew that Inuyasha _would_ have liked some fuss himself. She smirked knowing how to handle Inuyasha, she had watched how Kagome did it before now.

"That's such a shame Inuyasha, because Rin baked these biscuits just for you today. She said they were your favourite sort and she baked them for me to give to you because you had been hurt. She wouldn't come herself in case she cried; but she was up early making these." Kagura pretended not to see the compulsive swallow that Inuyasha did around the lump in his throat. "You see with females of any sort, if someone we care very much about gets hurt in anyway, we like to try to make them feel better. If I'd known what had happened to you, I would have come and given you at least a hug like this."

Kagura suited the action to the word and squeezed him hard while kissing his cheek. "I wouldn't have been able to help making a fuss Inuyasha; you would have just had to put up with it and like these biscuits, accept it, if you didn't want to hurt our feminine feelings." Inuyasha found it was nice to be held and fussed by Kagura; she was soft and safe like Kagome's Mama had been sometimes, for him and like his Mama had unfailingly been. He had always stored up these nice feelings for when he had nothing else, that was kind and gentle in his life. He felt her stroke his hair and he almost purred, until he realised that both her arms were round his waist and the hand in his hair had claws.

"I failed you again didn't I Inuyasha? I promised to treat you as if I was your father and you my son. Had I done so properly, I would have collected you from the healer or at least come to find you, but as always I let you suffer alone. If I had been our father, I would have done as he did for me in the same situation; I would have shared my experience with you and made sure that you were healing properly. I would not have blamed you at all, the punishment for fighting was nasty; but should not have been prolonged without comfort."

"Stop it Sessh, please." He pleaded; "I can't cope with nice very well, it makes me soft and I _hate_ getting soft and weepy all the time. I'm able to cope with harshness better."

"No more harshness Inuyasha; you must grow naturally now with more care, as a young Prince of this household has always been treated. You were denied all the love before, but no longer. I never lacked for love in my Father's house and neither should you again. Do you understand? Inuyasha?"

"He understands; my love." Said Kagura as she cuddled her lap full of an emotional Inuyasha. From then on, the lessons progressed properly again and harmony was restored between the brothers. Kagura had suggested a far more effective way of stopping another such incident from arising to Sesshoumaru. If Inuyasha again rejected his teaching for a while, then Sesshoumaru should just suggest that he stop the lessons. As that was the last thing Inuyasha wanted, it proved to be very effective in calming the boy down.

TBC


	40. History in the Gallery

Ch 40 History in the Gallery

During the next month, there was only one potentially disasterous hiccup. Sesshoumaru suddenly realised as he was teaching Inuyasha about the past, that there was a whole gallery of portraits and pictures that would better instruct the pup than dry words. The gallery was so familiar to him that he had completely forgotten about it and now thought that Inuyasha should have seen it before now. But, better late than never and it would tie in better with the history lessons, to explain the accounts of the past as they viewed.

Inuyasha was impressed by the length of the gallery, but Sesshoumaru wasn't going to let him just view all the pictures straight away. He was much more methodical than his mercurial brother and he had a purpose which was to teach. In hindsight it might have proved slightly better to have let Inuyasha have the run of the gallery for a while, but it wouldn't have made any real difference in the end. Using the pictures to teach Inuyasha about his family history was proving successful; they had only looked at the first two pictures in as many hours, as Sesshoumaru taught and discussed their ancestors and explained the battles depicted in the tapestries.

The mood between the brothers was very good and Sesshoumaru was amused at the eagerness that his younger sibling displayed over the battle scenes and his cocky opinions on how he would have done this or that differently. But the pictures lived for Inuyasha and sometimes when he recognised the geographical locations, his observations about the strategies had validity. Soon those long gone, had names and would live again in Inuyasha's fertile imagination; as they lived on in the memories of their deeds, that were told through the generations.

Inuyasha's eyes were shining with happiness, all these things that his brother was telling him gave him a sense of his own place in the stream of family history. These deeds and battles were part of who he was himself, he had a home and was linked to the west and these people; finally acknowledged by his brother who used the words 'our' and 'your' without a sneer. He belonged and had regained his roots; he could see resemblances between himself and some of his ancestors apart from the obvious colouring that was prominent.

Some of them were smaller in stature than others; which pleased Inuyasha greatly, he had thought that his shorter and lighter frame was because he had so often been starved of food and proper nutrients which had stunted his growth. Sesshoumaru also reassured him that he was also not fully grown in any case; so he still had the potential to get taller and would surely fill out more, in the natural cause of maturing. Inuyasha was eager to get to the next picture and Sesshoumaru smiled slightly, it would not be very long before he would be telling his little son these same stories and seeing the same look on his face as was on his little brother's.

Sesshoumaru was indicating some other personage on the next picture; he had his elegant arm raised as he indicated with his hand and fingers, someone in a valiant pose. When suddenly Rin was next to them pulling on her Papa's sleeve gleefully. Both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha looked down fondly at the lively child and encouraged by not being rebuffed, she grinned.

"Please can I look at the pictures too? They are so big and colourful, but I love the pretty ones the best, may I please?" Then came the bombshell, "Has Inuyasha seen the ones of his Mama yet?"

"My Mama is pictured here?"

"Yes, they are round the corner with the others of Papa's Mama and Papa too. She is very pretty Inuyasha." This time there was no answer from the hanyou; he was stunned. There were pictures of his mother in the halls of the Western Palace; a place where she was hated and shunned and nobody had told him, even though he had been here for over a year? Yet once again Rin was ahead of him; seeing them long before he had. Inuyasha hung his head and shielded himself from view behind his hair; he was rapidly getting angry and his hurt was escalating with the anger.

Sesshoumaru was silent knowing that should he say anything, Inuyasha would just flare and then tempers would be lost and words spoken perhaps, that should not be said. Instead he waited, for the inevitable salty smell that preceeded the tears he knew were lurking behind the hanyou's eyes; this time Sesshoumaru understood how and what his brother was feeling, jealousy was a bitter thing. It was even obvious to him why the boy would feel such betrayal; but he was mistaken and there were no tears, instead Inuyasha looked up again and took Rin by the hand.

"Will you show me the pictures of my Mama and Papa and tell me all about them please Rin?"

"Of course Inuyasha, I know _all_ the stories; come on." She led the hanyou down the corridor with Sesshoumaru following; Rin did not hear the false and flat voice that Inuyasha used, nor did she notice that the eyes of her friend had lost their shine and had dulled to a dark amber instead of the brilliant gold. His brother did however and was unsure of what to do, so he just followed to see how it all played out. At the moment he could not see his sibling's face as Inuyasha was once again hiding with his face towards the floor as he walked along, Rin holding his hand and skipping along beside him.

Suddenly the realisation of just who had told Rin the stories and identified the people in the pictures made Sesshoumaru stop walking for a moment. It had not been him and therefore had to have been Jaken; what would he have told Rin in the days before he had come to respect the hanyou? Yet would Jaken have taken the trouble to tell the girl stories? Probably not and there were plenty of other servants who would be willing to regale her with tales of her then Lord and now Papa. But was it a risk he was willing to take? No.

"Rin, you are not free from your own studies yet. I will show my brother the portraits; while you explain to your tutor why you are playing truant."

"I _am _free Papa. Tomorrow I have to start a special training lesson at dawn and so tonight I was let go earlier."

"Then you must use the time wisely and have your meal and retire early so as not to be tired for your lesson. This is after all the reason for your shortened lessons today."

"Let her stay and tell me the stories about my mother Sesshoumaru; I am sure she will tell them better than you would." Inuyasha's voice had the brittle edge to it that Sesshoumaru hated and even Rin picked up on the harshness and thought for the first time that she may have done something wrong. Her father was looking strangely at his brother and she knew that she should not have interfered when she did; realising now that she had interrupted Inuyasha's lessons. She made to move away but was gripped tightly around her wrist by the hanyou. Rin thought that perhaps she could tell the stories better than her father and maybe that would make Inuyasha happy again.

"Let the girl stay."

"Very well, Rin make sure you are accurate in your knowledge and do not embellish the truth with your own supposition. I shall tell you if you are mistaken." Sesshoumaru did not miss the sudden flash of angry gold from Inuyasha's eyes as he glanced across at his brother. Rin had not fully understood the words that her father had used but she caught the meaning and nodded. She pulled on the hand of the by now sulky Inuyasha who was schooling his features much as Sesshoumaru would do, so as not to show expression; he did not want to make a fool of himself when he saw the images of his mother.

Around the corner were the more recent family portraits, for the first time Inuyasha gazed on an image of his father that did not fade away far too soon. He looked silently on the face that was stern yet kind, with stripes the same colour as his own youkai's. His golden eyes seemed to stare straight into the matching ones of his son, their shape however more like that of the older son. Silver hair pulled into a high ponytail that hung down his back seemed to shine despite the darker light of the gallery. He looked so alive that it was hard to believe he was gone.

Sesshoumaru winced; he had not really been down here himself for so long, that he had forgotten the power the images had held for him. Once again he looked on the face of his beloved father; remembering the man as he had been in life, strong and loving and yet such an effective leader. He also remembered the last time he saw him alive and found he was choked; although unaware of Inuyasha's surprised gaze, as he had scented his brother's unshed tears. Sesshoumaru touched his hand to his father's face and then turned away as Rin led a thoughtful Inuyasha to the next portrait.

This was a painted picture in lifelike colours and skillfully executed, of a high born female youkai; who in looks could only be Sesshoumaru's mother. She looked calm and serene although the artist had also captured the slight aloofness in which the Lady held herself. Rin chatted on easily about how nice and beautiful Papa's Mama was in real life, relating the time she herself had met the Lady.

Inuyasha was looking at the similarities between Sesshoumaru and his parents and could tell that although there were strong traces of their father in his brother, the Lord favoured his mother more. Then Rin was excitedly showing the next portrait that showed both parents with their young son. It was informal and all were smiling; Sesshoumaru remembered the safe and happy feeling he had when he was with them both, his lovely mother with her wry smile and his invicible strong father whose arms could protect them both and shelter him from any fears.

Sesshoumaru wished to be the same for his own mate and pup and it was not misplaced pride that told him that he had already proved capable of such strength, with Rin and also strangely enough more recently with Inuyasha. His need to protect was fierce and he fully understood his father now; even while he lamented the fact that the knowledge had not come soon enough to prevent Inuyasha from living so harshly. He was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed that the picture now was of his parents and himself surrounded by the court; one member of whom Inuyasha couldn't look away from, his own mother.

Walking right up to the picture, he breathed just one word like a sigh; _'Mama'. _Rin smiled and Sesshoumaru knew that they were playing with a two edged sword; his brother's body language was screaming out that he was stressed, but the child was oblivious as she explained the picture. Inuyasha learned for the first time that his mother had been a princess that had been offered by her family as a token of goodwill to the ruling Inuyoukai. Despite the early objections that he did not take such hostages, Izayoi's family refused to receive her back to the family. As far as they were concerned she was already defiled for having stayed in the household.

The Inu no Taisho instead of just using her, took the princess into his court and even allowed her several handmaidens comfortable quarters while they served their mistress. The Lady of the West was even quite fond of the unassuming human princess who was quiet and had gentle manners; she treated her like a favoured pet and allowed her the finest kimonos. Sesshoumaru remembered the days of the painting fondly; the atmosphere was happy, in fact it was one of the last times before everything changed for the worse.

Sesshoumaru realised now that he could not possibly know all the private details of his parent's marriage, all that had mattered to him was that it had been happy and then was not. The fact that his father found comfort in the arms of the adoring human princess for a time was something he only found out when the girl's belly started to swell with life obviously created by his own Sire. His mother's anger blazed in the private quarters of the palace, she felt she'd been slighted by a human no less and would not tolerate to watch as the pregnancy progressed.

The Lady of the West left to go to her own Palace far away until such times as the princess had lived out her normal lifespan and her errant mate had come to his senses. She removed herself from the Western Palace ignoring the barely concealed tears of her son as he stood straight and still watching her pack and ignoring her mate as he too stood in the same manner as their son. The Dog General would not abandon Izayoi and the Lady did not ask him to do that, but even though he said he would place Izayoi in a manor outside the Palace, she would not be deterred.

The human would need his protection if she was to bear his hanyou child and he could not afford to be distracted if he was to fulfill his duty towards them. So it was that his mate would leave, only to return if he collected her when the human was dead . His mate was wise and even though Izayoi would have the best care, it proved to be not enough and they had both come to tragic ends; leaving a much too young and vulnerable pup alone and unprotected. Inuyasha and Rin only knew the bare bones of that story, but she was still speaking of the beautiful and happy family.

The next picture had always been detested by Sesshoumaru. It was one of a pair, he himself had had the other commisioned; it was of Izayoi and the very young Inuyasha. But the hated one was of his father and the pregnant Izayoi. He was sombre with a slight smile but she was obviously smiling; her kind and gentle eyes alight with the feel of her baby as she rested her hand on the rotundity of her stomach and Sesshoumaru hated all that the picture stood for. The sundering of his own parents. But for Inuyasha this was the first reality of his family; his parents and suddenly Sesshoumaru found he no longer minded having kept it.

For now Inuyasha forgot the hurt and betrayal he felt over the fact that Rin knew so much more than he did about his parents; or that she had been shown the portraits and knew the stories and he didn't. He was transfixed by the figures who were looking at him and smiling, happy at the thought of their growing pup; him. His eyes had filled with fat, happy tears and they spilled over his still rounded cheeks; leaving his eyes sparkling. Sesshoumaru came and put his arm around him and smiled for the first time at the picture, it had aquired new meaning for him as well.

Rin was eager to be included in the happy moment as well so she explained the picture as it had been described to her;

"See Inuyasha, your benighted whore of a mother is here as well and that baby is you; the bastard hanyou."

Rin didn't understand what she had done as Inuyasha suddenly howled and pushed away from Sesshoumaru turning to run. His brother made a grab for him but was strongly shoved away,;the hanyou's eyes glowing red dangerously, as he bared his elongated fangs. So Sesshoumaru made sure that Rin was pulled out of his sight and let the pup go. Rin too was in tears, she didn't understand and Sesshoumaru regretted not overriding his brother; he knew that he should have made Rin leave.

"Go and ask your mother to explain the words that Jaken used to tell you about the pictures Rin; you clearly do not comprehend the insult you have given Inuyasha. I will find him and explain your ignorance in the matter." Sesshoumaru waited till the upset child had gone before setting off to find Inuyasha.

TBC


	41. Unexpected Guidance

Ch 41 Unexpected Guidance

Finally Sesshoumaru was able to follow after his distressed sibling; exiting the Palace by the same door and into the gardens where he saw Shingi, who was guarding Kagura and the pup. Rin too had found her mother and was running to her; tears splashing down her face. As Kagura got up from where she was sitting to meet the young girl, Shingi just pointed to the garden wall and Sesshoumaru understood that Inuyasha had once again bolted over it. The Taiyoukai soon overtook his brother's trail and now knew without a doubt that the boy was heading towards his mother's grave and then probably his cave, so he went to hide and listen to what he would say this time.

He did not have to wait long; he could hear his brother crashing through the trees not bothering to hide his approach. He also noticed another ball of youki light that landed near the cave indicating Shingi had sent one of Inuyasha's special guards to watch over the pup should he wish to stay. What Inuyasha did next though shocked his brother; he had picked up stones and started hurling them at the grave marker, some hit it so hard that they left indentations.

"You whore, you lying whore. You broke up a true mating; you and him. No wonder Sesshoumaru hates me; a by-blow of his father and the slut. I wish you were alive and could feel these stones, then you'd know how much they hurt. I know they hurt, you whore; you left me to all the hate you selfish bitch. How many other bastards did he leave around the country. Did you think you were a special whore, you slut?" Inuyasha was beside himself, soon exhausting his emotional energy. Sesshoumaru in any case was not going to listen to this diatribe any more and he came up behind Inuyasha and gently took the stones from his hands.

"Hush Pup Brother; be still." He said soothingly; knowing that Inuyasha was prone to bolt like a frightened animal and that genuine kindness from himself, was one of the only successful ways to defuse the volatile boy's anger. Sesshoumaru wanted to take his brother in his arms and lead him back to the Palace, but Inuyasha was having none of it. He pushed his brother away and bowed his head,

"No, My...My Lord Sesshoumaru, I have no rights to you or your family and home. I will go now...and I'm sorry for what it's worth."

"Inuyasha, you are just upset at the moment, come home with me now."

"No, I have no home; we wrecked your family, I understand now...there is no excuse for what happened. Leave me Lord Sesshoumaru; please go away, you don't want who knows how many of your father's bastards turning up and claiming sanctuary with you do you? If any more of them lived that is."

"I think you are bordering on the melodramatic Inuyasha." He would have been tempted to smile at the foolish fancies his young brother was painting but for the real misery on the pup's face. He could only watch as the silly whelp went off to his cave; perhaps some time alone would cool him off and allow him time to think sensibly. Knowing that Inuyasha was not in any danger, Sesshoumaru returned to the Palace where Kagura and Rin anxiously awaited him. He explained to Kagura and Rin; not thinking this time, to hide the facts from the girl about Inuyasha's reaction.

"Stop crying Rin and learn please. Next time I ask you to leave, do so. You forgot how insecure my brother can be and although you did not know the meaning of the words you used, you did know that Inuyasha was upset before you showed him the portraits. You are not to blame but we must all now suffer the consequences."

"He did not come back with you my love?"

"He is in his cave but he has one of the guards as usual. I must thank Shingi for using his initiative." And Sesshoumaru walked away deep in thought; only to be approached by a surprising character. 'The Bear' was standing before him obviously wanting to speak and as it was most unusual for him to leave his schoolroom because he was normally a reclusive creature, Sesshoumaru was intrigued and allowed him to say what he wished to say:

"My Lord, your younger brother lacks direction and guidance. Like any child he needs boundaries and yet you allow him to do and go wherever he pleases. This does the pup no good at all. He lacks discipline and structure to his life, it is this that makes the child flee."

"You are mistaken Lord Bear, my brother has faced too many harsh things in his life, he needs no more 'discipline', I have given him more than sufficient in his time. You cannot cage a free spirit like Inuyasha."

"I beg to differ, My Lord. Discipline is different to the cruelty he has suffered in the past. The pup needs to have guidelines, he has never had them in his past but it is a way of showing that you care. He should be obedient to his Lord and you should not allow him to run of,f leaving you to chase after him."

"You speak thus to me, your Lord?"

"I understand boys, My Lord. I had the honour to teach your father before you. I have not seen any one of my pups, kits or cubs who have not needed to know how far they may go. If you love your child, you give them restrictions; lines not to cross. Fetch him back Sire, whether he wants to or not. Excercise your authority and he will then know you want him here. Inuyasha is still young, too young to be on his own even if he is perfectly capable of surviving; the spirit of the child is still fragile. Remember how your own father dealt with you? Many's the time he fetched you home when you had been angered."

Sesshoumaru did remember; how could he ever forget that sometimes his father had actually carried him back under his arm. He remembered feeling humiliated sometimes, but always safe and so he thanked the old bear. Now another voice and scent permeated the youkai's senses;

"Finally, you listen to good advice my son." The voice that usually hid a smile or smirk caused her son to stare at the vision he had not seen in the Palace since the day she left all those years ago. He went over and lifted her hand to kiss it.

"Mother, when did you arrive and why did I not know you were here?"

"I arrived in time to see the little hanyou rush out of here as if he'd been scalded and I do of course now understand why; having spoken with your delightful mate and daughter. As to not knowing that I was here, I have always masked my scent and aura as a matter of course."

"Why did you come?"

"That is not gracious Sesshoumaru, I came to be introduced to your family. I wished to see my grandson and reaquaint myself with your daughter."

"I am sorry that your visit was not more welcoming mother."

"I am not ignorant Sesshoumaru, I do know of the trials the little hanyou has been going through."

"How would you know?"

"I have many means at my disposal, or perhaps you think I have had no interest in the goings on of my family. Hmph, I see that you do feel that way; still I cannot blame you. But it's only been a couple of centuries child and I have not always been enamoured of your behaviour, especially towards your little brother."

"You left us, you left me. The time seemed longer."

"True. But I had my reasons and I had to grieve for my mate. But now I feel honour bound to help you with your little hanyou. Take me to him."

"He will run Mother, he gets so scared."

"From you maybe and understandably so; but he will not from me. Come with me Sesshoumaru and learn for when your own pups run off, as they surely will. If you would take on your father's role with your brother, you must learn to be firm and consistent and to not be afraid."

"This Sesshoumaru is not afraid of his sibling Mother." He was at his most pompous, but it only made his mother laugh her tinkling and pleasant laugh.

"Oh Sesshoumaru, you do not change; of course you are afraid, you fear to tread too harshly near the pup in case Inuyasha will reject you. He will not, he is as eager for your love as ever you were for your father's." She regarded her son thoughtfully as her words sunk in. She knew of the shared history the two boys had and she had not interfered; although she could have done, but now she had nothing to lose or gain from helping the harmony to reign in her son's house. It was high time that there was peace for both of her late mate's children.

The Lord's mother smiled sweetly at her son making him raise his eyebrow at her, as he took her hand by the fingertips and they both took to the skies on clouds of youki. Stopping by Izayoi's grave, she ran her hand along the marker stone noting the slight damage and the small rocks that lay littered around.

"He is certainly his father's son for temper tantrums."

"I do not remember father being quite so emotional mother. He would get angry yes, but a tantrum? I have only seen that where there is a human factor, even Rin can show her temper."

"You are forgetting that you only knew your father from a young son's point of view and when he had matured somewhat. I however, was betrothed to him from childhood and spent many summers with the family. It is safe to say I knew him better than you did my son." She turned to walk to the cave, but added over her shoulder at her unamused son. "I also seem to remember you were not free yourself from the odd display of temper Sesshoumaru; I am sure that some of the nursemaids that you have at the Palace will be able to corroborate my memory should you wish to check."

"That will not be neccessary mother" he replied, slightly piqued and lapsed into his customary silence as they neared the cave. It was obvious Inuyasha had not moved outside; they could hear the, by now (for Sesshoumaru), familiar grumbling as Inuyasha nursed his grievances.

"Little Hanyou, Inuyasha come outside now, I wish to speak with you."

"No, go away, I don't wnat to speak to no one anymore."

"Do you have any idea who I am Little Hanyou?"

"No and I don't care."

"Refrain from being your brash and rude self with my mother, Inuyasha." Came the well known voice of the older brother and there was silence from within the cave.

"I am not normally very patient Inuyasha and you will be sorry should I have to come in there to fetch you." Her voice was lilting and pleasant but underneath it was cold as steel and Inuyasha knew that she meant every word. Sesshoumaru's mother; how was he to face her? But he owed it to the lady to present her with his life for destroying her own family. Inuyasha came slowly out of the cave entrance and Sesshoumaru was shocked at the pup's appearance; his hair was matted, his face red and blotchy and his eyes pink rimmed and teary. The Lady beckoned him over and he went and kneeled before her, his hands outstretched as he bowed his head to the floor.

"Sit up child, I cannot look at your face with it half buried in the ground." Sesshoumaru's mother lifted Inuyasha's chin to bring his face up and he pulled himself to sit on his knees in front of her. Both youkai were aware of the sense of shame that Inuyasha seemed steeped in and his sense of inferiority was great. "Have you had your cry out now child, is it possible for you to speak to me?" Inuyasha looked away but nodded. "Look at me pup, hold your chin high; you are the son of the great Inu no Taisho, you should show pride not shame."

"I am a bastard, probably one of many My Lady and I know that my presence harmed your family life. I cannot have pride in my existence knowing that."

"Let me be the judge on your personal responsibilities Little Hanyou." She answered noticing the wince he gave when she mentioned his breeding. "You object to the term hanyou do you not? Why? It is a fact that cannnot be changed, it is for you to carry yourself with pride and not let any belittle you, not even my proud son here."

"I can't, Sesshoumaru has said all along I am a filthy stain on my father's bloodline and he is right, I can see that now."

"My my, you are full of self pity aren't you. From my own observations you always fought against my son's censure and quite rightly, but now you wilt in front of me like a blown flower ready to drop. But I do know why and I shall tell you some of the truth, both of you." She made both boys come closer to her and studied their respective faces, smiling. She could see her mate is both of them in looks and also in ways; but it was more obvious in Inuyasha, as he was very like his father when she had first fallen in love with her betrothed.

"Your father and I were mated and we fell in love. Inuyoukai mate for life, but of course there are times when not all is smooth running. But the mating is of no concern of yours except to say that at one point, your father succumbed to the charms of my human pet. Izayoi came to us when she was only fourteen and she soon had a 'crush' on your father which he found entertaining at first. Izayoi was however, completely doting on your father and he was flattered by the hero worship. I should have seen it coming of course, but I found the child's behaviour amusing.

After we had a disagreement that lasted too long; as I would not give in and neither would your father, the inevitable happened and Izayoi was expecting you Little Hanyou. Do not misunderstand me, your father had great affection for her in his way and it was enough for your mother, but he also felt great responsibility and guilt. It was these feelings that brought him to your rescue. Feelings _you _canrecognise in how you were about Kikyou, but understand this Inuyasha, your father and your mother didn't regret you; they both loved you dearly, had your father not done so he would have ended _your _life not his own.

"I never hated your mother, she was a fiery little thing but very loving; no, I left because I could not tolerate watching her pregnancy progress. After Sesshoumaru, I was unable to give my mate another pup and it was a source of bitter regret to see that another woman had conceived my mate's child. Inuyasha you do your mother a great wrong calling her hurtful names, she was no whore. She was just a child lonely for companionship, who would never have the chance for a normal marriage because of her own people.

"Izayoi was sixteen when you were born Inuyasha, younger than your own Kagome and just as beautiful and loving of you. She sheltered and cared for you for eight difficult years; do not throw her love away because of ignorant speech by others. As for other children who could claim your father, there are none. I asked your father the same question; his answer was that his loyalty to me had been complete until Izayoi. The Inu no Taisho never lied in his life, not even as a child to get out of youthful trouble; he always considered it was beneath him to do so. This was something Sesshoumaru, you also gained from him and Inuyoukai can scent out a lie.

"You however Little Hanyou, are letting anger get the better of you; the past cannot be changed no matter what you have suffered. Sesshoumaru can do no more than he is doing, to right the wrongs he committed. There may be more unpleasant shocks and reminders for you, are you always going to run off in tears and cower from them like a tiny pup? Or are you going to learn to rely on your new family to help strengthen and comfort you. From what I have seen, Sesshoumaru and Kagura are doing very well as substitute parents for you and you are letting yourself down if you do not let them help you to realise your full potential."

The Lady's voice had taken on a much firmer edge and her words, while not cruel did not spare Inuyasha's feelings. She had ignored the fresh tears that fell from his eyes as she had explained his parent's relationship in such a way, that he knew it was the unvarnished truth; her voice calm and conversational.

"Come little one, it is time to go home and accept who you are. I do not want to hear any more that you do not feel you fit in; it is ridiculous. Do I make myself understood and clear? Allow your surrogate parents to help you finish growing up and Sesshoumaru, do not be afraid; if the pup needs a spanking, make sure he gets one. He is too sensible to mistake it for cruelty. You never thought your father cruel when he punished you did you?"

"No, Mother; Father was never cruel."

"Your pups need the security of set boundaries Sesshoumaru; they must learn as we all do, that there are consequences for our own actions. Now I wish to return to see my new family." She stood and wiped Inuyasha's face giving him a tender smile; then pushed him along in front of her. As they passed his mother's grave, he knelt down and whispered how sorry he was for forgetting for even one moment, the love she had for him and for being so disrespectful. Sesshoumaru came and knelt down next to him, surprising the boy. The youkai however hugged Inuyasha round the shoulder and whispered that he would have the stone repaired.

"It should be left as it is Sesshoumaru, it will remind the pup of what happens when he jumps to the wrong conclusion; perhaps it will help him with that bad temper he must learn to control." Inuyasha hung his head at her words, but he had already determined to take all her suggestions to heart, she was wise and he still felt that he owed her his life. Strangely to his way of thinking though, he did feel safe again and he wanted to make her and Sesshoumaru, proud of him.

TBC


	42. Self Searching

Ch 42 Self Searching

They arrived back at the Palace where Inuyasha was engulfed by Rin and Kagura welcoming him home. There could no longer be any doubt in Inuyasha's mind that he was wanted and loved now and his heart was greatly healed almost in an instant. No one would have gone to this much trouble on his behalf before, or if he was not cared for. He even didn't mind being pushed into the bathhouse with orders to clean up and allow the servants to help him, which came from Sesshoumaru's mother. She also sent a special gift; a kimono that she had kept that had belonged to his father and that he was to keep and wear, once he was respectable again.

Coming out of the bath and with his hair untangled and shining; testimony to the hard work of the servants who'd washed, dried and brushed it till it gleamed and dressed in the kimono he'd been presented with, Inuyasha suddenly felt very shy. It was meal time albeit a bit late because he'd run off and he felt a bit of a fool, but no one made him feel any more awkward and there were many compliments on how handsome he looked. Sesshoumaru's mother scrutinized him, turning him this way and that and declared him much improved from when she was first introduced to him.

Poor Inuyasha blushed as he remembered that he had been most dishevelled earlier, he had always tried in his own way to be clean and respectable; it was something that his mother had insisted on, plus it was a matter of pride to him that he would never appear to be the animal a lot of people thought he was. Finally she let him go with a small caress to his ears, a smile of approval and a pat on his cheek. By now the meal was most welcome and Inuyasha was inordinately hungry; but he managed to get through the entire dinner without embarrassing himself, by spilling any or by eating too fast.

Suddenly Inuyasha felt very tired; the day had been long and draining and to his own great surprise, all he felt that he wanted to do right now was crawl into his brother's lap to curl up and sleep. He longed for the feeling of arms holding him and someone watching over him; he didn't want the independence that had been thrust on him for most of his life, he felt young like a pup and wanted to sleep like a pup, protected in someones loving arms.

He saw Rin sitting close to Kagura and playing with Yuki; the wind youkai's arm around the girl but before he could feel anything remotely like jealousy, Sesshoumaru had done the same to him. He had seen Inuyasha look across at the others and with his developing paternal understanding, he forestalled any problem. They sat like that, contented; for quite a while until it was deemed expedient by Sesshoumaru's Lady Mother for them all to go to bed. Then she positively staggered Sesshoumaru by agreeing to share the family futon, which now extended right across the floor.

They curled up as usual with Kagura and the pup behind Inuyasha and Rin; who in turn were tucked up closely to Sesshoumaru who lay in front, his arm reaching across them all to rest on Kagura's back. During the night as they slept, they would naturally all move apart; but the pups felt safe, going to sleep more quickly with the strength of youki surrounding them closely. The Lady too came to join them; but she sat up that night, keeping watch and feeling nostalgic for the time she'd last sat keeping vigil over her young one. But as she'd said to Inuyasha, the past cannot be changed and she was not one for long regrets, being far too pragmatic.

Still, the early morning hours found her idly stroking two silver heads; lost for once in her own thoughts as she softly ran her fingers through their hair and soothing them as they slept. Her gentle and experienced hands did not disturb the peaceful slumber of either boy. For Sesshoumaru his dreams were pleasantly filled with her familiar pettings long missed and for Inuyasha, exactly the same; although in his dreams, her hands were those of his own mother's.

The Lady had to smile though when both of them started to make contented grumbling purrs; as they slid toward consciousness, ready to awaken and start the new day. She watched as her son instantly awoke, fully aware of his surroundings and she smiled at the blush that stole across his pale cheeks as he realised his current position. But he welcomed the smile that she gave him as she ran her soft hand over his cheek, before he rose to tackle the duties he had every morning.

"It is time for you to rise as well Little Hanyou; I know that you too are awake, perhaps you should see if you can help your brother with any of his duties, your new writing skills will come in useful. It would be a good aim for you to take your place as a Prince; with responsibilities in a few years and it may help you to keep you more focused on your position in the family. These lands are peaceful but it takes a lot of hard work and diplomacy to keep them that way and now Sesshoumaru has pups to look after as well, the work load only increases."

"Tell me please Lady Mother, am I a bother to Sesshoumaru, I mean all the years he hated me and now he...cares for me?"

"Of course you are a bother to him, he now has to concern himself with your welfare as well as his other duties. But that is not a bad thing, neither does he begrudge it. All pups are the same, they need time and love. Sesshoumaru does more than care for you, he loves you. Do you not see this? I think you should go and meditate for a while on all you have learned this past year or so, to understand for yourself all that you mean to your brother. You are the other side of all your trials and turmoil Little Hanyou, take the morning and consider these things."

It was sound advice and Inuyasha went to sit on his huge red cushion in his room and looked out of the window to the garden beyond. He searched his memories old and new as far back as he could and as he did so he could truly see the change in Sesshoumaru towards him. Like pieces of an immense jigsaw, things fell into place; all the regretted cruelties he'd suffered at Sesshoumaru hands, were tempered by the care and yes, love that he'd been given since. Sesshoumaru had done more than enough to prove that Inuyasha's situation had changed and it was not cold blooded duty that caused the new peace, but genuine change of heart and understanding from his brother.

Lady Mother was right, he felt completely at home here in the Western Lands and he was Inu, he could scent lies and read body language nearly as well as any of them. Sesshoumaru was not playing an elaborate hoax in collaboration with Kagura and everyone else, servants included. Before hand he had seen all the pieces of the puzzle individualy, but this was the first time he had put them together to give himself the whole picture and to study it at his leisure; it was overwhelming and compulsive. Every small detail that he could fill in all pointed to one thing, he was now wanted and loved without doubt.

He had left his thoughts on Rin till last and found that the jealousy had become greatly lessened in the knowledge that he was now valued again. He had nothing against the girl herself, she was a nice child, genuine and kind. She had always been respectful of him even before they had become family and it was certainly not her fault that he had been neglected; their times did not overlap, he was not pushed away in favour of her. Some part of him still felt the pain that he, the blood relation had been personally rejected; but it was much more subdued and in time and with Sesshoumaru's love, he felt sure it would not come back to haunt him.

This introspection however left him with a real dilemma, he could feel that the more he accepted his new situation or gave Sesshoumaru certain authority over him, the more vulnerable he made himself. The brashness and rudeness that he usually hid behind, protecting his heart and that he had cultivated especially well since being released from Goshinboku, was not so easy to find now. He knew he had not been so crass near Kikyou and anyway he'd not really interacted with anybody until her, except of course for his mother and there was no way she would have tolerated his crudeness for one minute.

So in thinking Inuyasha boiled it down to a few questions and tried to answer them brutally and honestly to himself. _'Did he want his old life; independence and freedom __again, away from the Palace?.' _No, he'd hated it; all the looks of contempt, the stonings and beatings but above all the loneliness and the embarrassing but desperate need to be near people just to hear normal voices, at least till he was spotted. Besides he was not chained to a wall here, he could still have independence and freedom within reason, enough for him for now anyway.

_"Could he allow Sesshoumaru dominance and authority over him, to become Beta to his brother's Alpha; accepting his paternal guidance and maybe discipline?' _Sesshoumaru already had the right of dominance and authority, he was the rightful heir to the Western Lands and had the acknowledged right of all youkai for jurisdiction as he saw fit. Even if they had never had a rift between them, that would have been the case; besides Sesshoumaru was a more than efficient Lord, his lands and peoples prospered. Inuyasha also knew that he would never really be able to be anything but a beta, unless he left and went on his own again; Sesshoumaru was undeniably stronger and although Inuyasha had got in a few powerful hits to his older sibling, more times than not it was Sesshoumaru who had been the one to hold back the killing blow.

Now the more tricky one; this was a more intimate and personal form of control over him which he could reject if he so chose. _'Could he accept Sesshoumaru in a fatherly role, giving him the parental authority; could he trust his brother that much?' _At one time the answer would have been the most derisive 'No' he could have managed, but their relationship had changed for the better. _'But had it changed enough and did Inuyasha need parental guidance anymore, could he submit his own strong will to his brother's?' _He could safely admit that at first he had needed care when he'd been ill and his brother had been most understanding and had treated him with great tenderness, but he didn't need that anymore and Sesshoumaru was his brother not his father.

But he did like the feeling of safety and security that being with Sesshoumaru now gave him, to his chagrin he couldn't deny the fact either. He knew that he was still very young in youkai terms and that his nephew would still be mainly his mother's concern, when he reached his uncle's present age. He also knew that he was benefiting greatly from being educated and treated properly; his future secure and yes, he also had to admit that Sesshoumaru's guidance had so far only been beneficial for him. It was nice being able to rely on his brother when he'd needed support and to know that Sesshoumaru wouldn't let harm come to him.

Inuyasha was honest enough with himself to know that although he was incredibly strong and able to protect himself from immediate danger, he didn't want to be fighting all the time and having to look all the time for hidden threats. He wanted to _play _now that he'd had the taste for it, he did like learning, he did like to feel loving arms around him when he was hurting and he did like being safe between Kagura and Sesshoumaru at night. He was finding out that he could have fun and act like a pup sometimes, without being mocked for it, because it was understood that he _was _a pup still.

If his father were still alive he would not reject _his _authority and he knew that he would not be challenging the fact that he still _needed_ him. Sesshoumaru could offer him, and did so without the usual maddening superiority, fatherly advice and security. So far it had been more than welcome, Inuyasha could admit it and Sesshoumaru had been careful of his little brother's pride and abilities and earned his trust; he had not been stifling or scornful. If Inuyasha did accept him, he would have to be loyal himself and put himself in the position of 'son'. Obedient, respectful...vulnerable. Could he do it?"

Inuyasha knew that he wouldn't lose his personality; he would be allowed to question and he could still piss his brother off he he felt it was warranted, even if he faced the consequences later. He already knew from experience that his brother had a very firm hand when he needed it, but even that made him smile ruefully now rather than get angry. All things considered, he would gain everything he had lost in the past; with the exception of Kagome and there was nothing his brother could do about that. He _would_ accept without question his new life, he would calm down naturally as he aged and he would become the person he was supposed to be; fiery and temperemental like both his parents, but within the safety net and boundaries of his now loving family.

Once he came to his conclusions, the relief and lightness to his heart was amazing; he felt more free than he had ever done before, what a wonderful thing to belong. Meantime Sesshoumaru had come to find out where the pup had got to as he was late for his lessons. He was alarmed to find that Inuyasha had been all morning on his own and thinking.

"Mother, why did you suggest he do that; Inuyasha tends to dwell on unhealthy topics and get melancholy if he is left alone for too long. Did he feel that you had ordered him to his room?"

"Sesshoumaru do you recall to whom you are speaking? Your Little Hanyou is fine and he _needed_ to take a thoughtful look at his life; he may be a pup still, but he has lived through more than most pups his age and all alone. There is much for him to decide. You too need to consider that although he undoubtably needs the stability of a good home and family, that he will not give up trusting in his instincts or his love of freedom."

"This I know Mother; I will not dictate his every move, I can guide him rather than lead him by the nose."

"You will achieve more if you do that wisely, let him ask you for help and then let him decide to take it and find it good for himself. He has intelligence, he will work with you and not against you; _if _you respect his own experience too."

"Those are my goals with Inuyasha, Mother and I hope..." He turned swiftly in the direction of his brother's room as the faint tangy scent of salt reached his nose and he was soon beside Inuyasha. The pup looked across at him smiling ingenuously, even as tears overspilled his eyes; but he was obviously happy. He reached his arms out and then around his brother; who immediately returned the hug, searching his brother's face for any trace of pain and happily finding none.

"Oh Sesshy, I have really got a family at last haven't I?" His answer was the intense hug that Sesshoumaru gave, holding him so tightly that he thought his heart would burst and the harsh sobbing laugh that escaped the youkai. They remained together, talking as never before all afternoon; open and honest with each other and sorting out many potential obstacles, coming to agreements and promising to talk calmly over any problems they might have. They were still talking well past mealtime and Kagura brought them in two trays; she went out again and smiled at her mother-in-law as they played with the baby.

That night as she once again sat and watched over the sleeping family, The Lady sighed softly;

"You would be proud of your boys now My Mate, they are family once more."

TBC


	43. Rebellious Streak

Ch 43 Rebellious Streak

Of course all the good intentions in the world are not enough to ensure that everything runs smoothly. Although it started well enough; Sesshoumaru's mother stayed for many months until after her grandson's first birthday. For the occasion Inuyasha and Rin had used their precious spare time to make another gift for the growing pup. A wooden rocking horse carved lovingly out of nut brown wood and finely polished so there would be no harsh splinters was presented to the baby. Inuyasha had done the carving and Rin had made the embroidered and slightly cushioned saddle. Yuki loved it, even though he was still too small to sit unattended on top of something; he enjoyed the movements if he was held on.

What with their lessons and other responsibilities, there was not so much time for Inuyasha and Rin to play; but they did manage to make a little waterfall for their frog pond and to rival one another on who could swing the highest. Rin was fearless and Inuyasha had no natural advantage when on the swings as they were limited to a certain degree by their construction. Holidays too were no longer so frequent and Inuyasha found that he could not just leave whenever he wanted to, he had to clear it with Sesshoumaru first. This led to the first major test of authority between the brothers.

Whenever he wanted to take the day to visit Kaede or a weekend to visit with Miroku's little family, he usually mentioned that he would like to do so the day before and there was no problem. Sesshoumaru always sent one of the guards to follow him discreetly; as Inuyasha didn't seem to understand that because he was now recognised as a Prince, he did need a bodyguard. There had been a big row; not totally unexpected by those who knew the brothers well, but upsetting none the less.

"I don't need no guard to go with me Sesshoumaru, I've been quite able to look after myself for long enough."

"I am not doubting your prowess with the sword Inuyasha, but you are a Prince and fair game for any enemies."

"Feh! I _always_ **have** been 'fair game' as you call it; remember, all my life."

"Yes, of course I remember and it will always be a source of regret. I aim to not have you in such a position again." Sesshoumaru's tone was clipped as he kept his temper.

"_You_ wandered about all over the place without a baby sitter, nothing bothered you." Inuyasha was being provoking, but Sesshoumaru would not rise to the bait; if he so much as mentioned that Inuyasha was hanyou to his own full youkai status, he could expect his little brother to launch himself at him, claws out.

"Your status is changed now Inuyasha and I will not have you running around having to defend yourself, alone anymore. Is that clear?"

"No; your High and Mightiness, it is not clear. Where do you get off telling me all the time? I'm not weak; I don't want to look a fool in front of my old pack, just because you want to show off your _caring compassion_ for me now." He had gone too far with that and he knew it; but instead of making him calm down, he got angrier when he saw the flash of hurt, glaze his sibling's eyes before the calm mask slipped back into place.

"Whatever you feel my motive to be Inuyasha; I will not change my decree, that you will only go with an accompanying guard." Sesshoumaru turned on his heel and walked away sedately; leaving Inuyasha feeling like a bad tempered brat. He huffed and sighed heavily, but had to put up with the guard who followed him and didn't get in his way at all. Neither Sango, Miroku or Kaede noticed the guard who kept his distance and was able to mask his aura; this at least mollified the proud hanyou who although he enjoyed the safety of being considered a pup at the Palace, didn't want his friends laughing at him or losing their esteem because they didn't understand.

For a few months, it seemed that the status quo had been restored; Inuyasha made up to his brother by being a model student and not fussing when he visited his friends, about the following guards. He was always welcomed at Kaede's and Miroku's homes and he was popular with the several new children and had a special spot himself for Sango and Miroku's little girl; who they had named Kagome after their friend. Miroku had asked Inuyasha if he minded and his typical answer was;

"Feh, it's not my business what you call the brat." So they took it that he didn't mind and Little Kagome grew and flourished. She had a special protector of her own in Shippou; who found himself in a wierd sort of role reversal, from when he was with the original Kagome. In truth, Inuyasha relished his times away from the Palace; which every now and then tended to stifle him. He needed to run and leap from tree to tree, to yell and shout for the sheer joy of the freedom that near flight gave him; he had rarely felt secure enough to just enjoy being alive and he knew that he now had Sesshoumaru to thank for this, as well as everything else.

Inuyasha had also discovered the beach and sea in a bay to the other side of the Western Palace. He and Rin would often go and dig huge tunnels in the sand and fill them with water; much to the amusement of Sesshoumaru, who failed to see what the joy was in doing that, when next tide much the same thing would happen anyway. But his growing pup too, enjoyed the feel of the warm sand and so often picnics would be taken to the small and private beach. The two older youkai had learned not to go near the water with Rin or Inuyasha because they both enjoyed splashing and water spray went a long way.

The younger two found delight in collecting shells and making them into frames for pictures or mirrors and fairly soon it seemed that every room had something that had been made or decorated with the attractive shells. They also decorated normal clay pots as presents, for Kaede and Sango; to put utensils or small things in and everyone agreed that the pots were pretty and showed great flair with an eye for shape and colour, the two had taken much time in matching the shells for each thing crafted.

But one day Inuyasha heard someone speak of the ocean that roared with an almost wild sound and a beach with sand as white as snow where the waves crashed on the beach with sudden fury. He found himself curious, but he was forbidden to go; because it was extremely dangerous, with currents that could sweep someone out to sea. Even without Rin he could not go alone; for the same reasons and it made Inuyasha furious, here was Sesshoumaru curbing his pleasures once again and not taking into consideration the fact that he had lived most of his life in a 'near death' situation. He could take care of himself; especially around something that was non sentient.

Once again he tried to get his point across to Sesshoumaru; making his way to the courtyard where his brother was speaking to the elite guards, who had always been in charge of protecting Inuyasha since he was first alone on his own. Once he had his brother's attention he pleaded, hoping to take advantage of Sesshoumaru's distraction with the guards .

"Come on Sessh, I want to see what these big waves are like."

"Certainly not Inuyasha, you have no idea about the sea, you only know the gentle currents in the bay by the Palace and nothing of the strength of the water and rocks of the exposed ocean. They could easily kill you; you must wait until such times as I am free to come with you."

"Feh!" he scoffed.

"Do not defy me on this Inuyasha; you must not go and that is an order." Sesshoumaru would not be swayed and turned away to get back to his business. Inuyasha was effectively dismissed and he didn't like that one bit and so asked to leave again, this time to visit his friends. Sesshoumaru was becoming a little bit exasperated although he did not show it; Inuyasha had not long come back from a visit and so was being deliberately provocative again, testing his limits where his brother was concerned. Rin had never been this obvious, if she had ever pushed him; but Inuyasha was different and under different circumstances.

"I cannot allow you to leave this time Inuyasha, not for at least one week. I must send the guards on patrols, as there have been some disturbing rumours."

"Rumours? Rumours of what?"

"Nothing that need concern you Inuyasha, but I will have no one to go with you for the week. You have only just returned from your last sojourn, so I think the wait will not be too much of a hardship for you."

"I can go without them."

"We have already talked of this Inuyasha, I have not rescinded my order and will not do so. You must be patient."

"Your_ orders_, always _**your **_orders; why should I obey _your orders_ all the time, I'm your brother not your son?" He had wanted to hit out and he succeeded, as once again a flash of hurt was quickly hidden. But it had been a cheap shot and made Inuyasha feel bad and lower than the dust; Sesshoumaru had not deserved that. Once again his anger, this time at himself; flared, making his tongue liable to run away with him.

"I know this Inuyasha but I had hoped that by now, your fondness for me would surfice; that your wish to please me would help you understand, all I do that will benefit you. But obviously not and so I have to compel your obedience in this as Your Lord. Do you now understand?" Sesshoumaru looked at his younger brother, knowing that he had put the guilt on him; Inuyasha was so easy to read and now the guilt was becoming the predictable anger again.

"Always pulling rank is a dirty trick and I don't see why I should take any notice." He shouted without thinking, but this time it was not Sesshoumaru who answered, it was Shingi.

"Inuyasha, your brother has right of rank over _all_ who reside in the West; he is owed such allegiance through birth and through his deeds. It is an honour to serve and live under his reign; he was himself well taught and is a great leader, many owe their life of peace to him directly including you, who are now priviliged to learn your lessons at his knee. Do not insult him." The voice was firm, stern and very determined to get the message across and Inuyasha considered himself chastened; which made him sulkily abashed.

"Keh!" he muttered, folding his arms across his chest protectively. As he walked away, there were smirks all around as the guards' tension relaxed. They were all fond of the young hanyou and knew that his life had turned round from the appaling days of his youth; he was well out of order, but it was good to see that the pup's fighting spirit was still intact. Sesshoumaru saw their expressions and understood them which made him smile ruefully at Shingi.

"You know he means no harm or hurt to you Sire. He does not truly seek to cause you pain of heart."

"Oh, I think he does sometimes, even unconsciously; there are times when he wishes me to feel pain, as punishment for all I have done to him. Perhaps he is justified."

"I beg to contradict Sire, he is very much as my sister's pups were; feeling safe even in their anger, knowing that they have someone stronger to rely on. It's the way parents help the pup's growth; providing them with someone to struggle against, while protecting them at the same time. That is not to say that they did not cross the boundaries at times. My sister and her mate brought up her pups well, they were consistent."

"I understand what you are saying and hear your hidden message thank you. Now we must get back to the business in hand." Sesshoumaru made sure that all were clear on their assignments and sent them away before turning back to follow Inuyasha. When he caught up with his brother he said nothing, until Inuyasha apologised for his rudeness. Sesshoumaru was surprised but pleased as his brother showed all the signs of doing as he was asked, even to the point of working very hard at his lessons. He could tell that the working was genuine; what he did not realise was, that it was guilt that made Inuyasha so diligent.

The guilt was not for what he had done or said however, but for what he was going to do, which was disobey his brother; so as to make up for it, Inuyasha thought to please Sesshoumaru now. Had the youkai more experience with children other than an exceptionally obedient little girl, he might have been more suspicious of his little brother's sudden good behaviour especially after the petulance of earlier. But he took the mellowed Inuyasha at face value; forgetting for a moment all he knew of his brother and even giving him a loving smile, that made the pup feel like a real heel for planning his small excursion.

But Inuyasha would not be put off, he wanted to see this enticing ocean and Sesshoumaru fussing wasn't going to stop him; if he crept off after his lessons, he could be gone and back in a few hours with no one any the wiser. He would bring back some stunning shells as presents for Kagura to try to mollify Sesshoumaru should he find out and be angry. After his lesson, Inuyasha feigned tiredness and lack of hunger to allay suspicion should he not be back in time for tea; even going and laying in his bed until Sesshoumaru had left.

Two hours later, Shingi came to report that one of the patrols had reported in early; a pair of Jackals they had been tracking, suddenly took off at speed towards the sea. This was a most unexpected change of direction from the one they had been seen in before; the patrol wanted to know shuld they still follow ,or could it be designed to put their trackers off scent? This was serious, the Jackals were known to be a danger to Inuyasha; it was some of their family that had assaulted the boy, causing their deaths at Sesshoumaru's hands. A sudden deflection to the sea was strange, but not if they had a trail to follow and Sesshoumaru was rapidly putting two and two together, as he flung open the doors to his brother's room to find it empty.

"You two stay here and guard the family and Shingi you come with me." Sesshoumaru was obeyed instantly and was already transformed into his natural form as was Shingi, by the time they reached the Palace walls and on their way to the ocean.

Inuyasha had never seen such a different type of natural beauty that was the ocean and the vast white sandy beach; even the trees with their straight and branch free, trunks were new. He was right too in that there were some exotic shells just ready to be gathered, but his attention was drawn to the waves crashing on the beach; he had never seen such raw power and was mesmirized. He stripped to enter the water; leaving his clothes well above the water line and paddled in the foam as he watched the rolling breakers crash upon the rocks. But as even the shallow water pulled at him relentlessly as it left to go back to the sea, Inuyasha knew it was too strong for him to swim; he had never had much practice in the art and was not fool enough to tempt it.

Still he was quite happy, as the fine sand felt strange between his toes and there was enough heat left in the late afternoon sun to be very pleasant on his bared skin. Soon he realised however, that he was not alone anymore and that a stranger was standing by his clothes; then before he could go to see, someone incredibly strong and obviously naked as well had pinned his arms behind him. He was frogmarched over to his clothing which would provide a barrier against the sand for what they had in mind; Inuyasha struggled, but in vain and the other stranger came up to him smirking as he grabbed the pup's chin to study his face.

"So this is the halfbreed who should have known his place and given pleasure to our kin, instead of having them killed. Halfbreeds are only fit for whores and yet you still remain untouched. We are both going to change that situation before we kill you." He laughed at Inuyasha's struggles and reached down to touch him, in an effort to humiliate him more and in doing so he made the hanyou freeze.

"What, you do not even put up a fight, what sort of useless creature are you? It is more fun if you try to fight us off, makes things happen quicker." The pair were able to reach their own satisfaction without violating Inuyasha at first, in what they called 'warming up'. Even though they had no success with Inuyasha who was desperately trying to get himself free. It was no use, he was trembling and afraid; until one started to actually intrude his body, in preparation for raping him. For once Inuyasha was glad of his body's reflex and as he threw up over the Jackal in front of him, they both let go in surprise and Inuyasha forced himself to run.

His legs were shaking and he felt dreadful; yet he knew that if they caught him, unspeakable things would be done to him in vengeance for those who'd died at his brother's hands. There was nowhere to flee, the Jackals were strong and angry and he was weak from vomiting; so he went the only way that was available to him, straight into the surging sea.

TBC


	44. Choices of Punishment

Ch 44 Choices of Punishment

Inuyasha sat on a large rock with huge waves crashing over him; watching the two smirking faces of the Jackals as they did obscene things, intimidating the hanyou. His claws gripped the rock for all his worth, as they desecrated his beloved firerat and he tried not to listen or show any fear as they told him there was still plenty for him, when he came down from the rock. But Inuyasha was terrified; no one knew where he was and Sesshoumaru might not disturb him even for bed, if he was thought to be worn out and already asleep. He could not stay here all the time, it was draining his strength rapidly; the water was very cold and completely relentless in the way it buffeted and pulled at him.

He had to try to escape but how? The Jackals were waiting for his next move and if he didn't make it soon, the ocean would get him; he could here it's seductive voice telling him to just let go and it would take him far away. He wanted to whimper but would not lose his pride any more, they would know and laugh at him even louder, but it was so cold and lonely and he was so very tired of fighting the sea. He had been sick twice more and the smells of vomit and semen had still not cleared from his body and hair, even with the ocean's cleansing. Inuyasha could not let go of the rock enough to let the water do it's job properly, as he was hunched over and clinging on for dear life.

But as the Jackals laughed and jeered at Inuyasha, tormenting the hanyou with promises of what they would do to him when they caught him; neither noticed the white death that approached from behind them until it was too late. Then they did not live long enough to have coherent thought on what was to happen to them, before it had and they were rent into small pieces by two very angry and full sized Inuyoukai in their natural forms. Inuyasha hadn't seen what had happened; he was still holding on to the rock his eyes closed as he concentrated hard on not letting go.

The next thing that Inuyasha was aware of, was being pulled off the rock by a firm grip on his hair and sheer panic set in as he cried out for his brother and thinking that one of the Jackals had come to get him.

"Sesshy, Sesshy; don't let them get me, Nooooo." He screamed; no longer holding onto pride, he just wanted his brother to rescue him and he was thrashing about as much as he could, splashing water everywhere and trying to reach anything with his claws. He wouldn't open his eyes as he felt hands run over his body firmly and holding a cloth. He was being washed; but in his panic he didn't know why or by who and even when he was dunked under the water and claws ran through his hair roughly cleaning it, he didn't stop fighting.

Sesshoumaru knew there was no point at all in trying to talk to his brother while he was in such an hysterical and frightened state. He wouldn't hear him anyway, so he just got on with the task at hand. His own anger had not abated, his fear when he smelt all the bodily fluids mingled in with Inuyasha's scent had inflamed him to such an extent that his youkai could barely be satisfied with the blood of the perpetrators. Inuyasha could sense anger in the aura next to him, but was too far gone to know whose it was.

Then the hands stopped their work and draped him in something soft, that was wonderfully warm to his almost frozen skin. Inuyasha started to calm down instinctively; surely the Jackals wouldn't clothe him and he quietened and opened his eyes, meeting the matching pair to his own. He was dressed in Sesshoumaru's own haori which explained the warmth and he threw his arms round his brother's neck, so grateful that he was there. Sesshoumaru permitted the embrace for a while as he discretely sniffed at Inuyasha to see the extent of the harm done.

Relieved in his heart when he found that it was only Inuyasha's clothes that the Jackals had managed to defile; he nonetheless knew that his brother had had a narrow escape and had been unable to ignore the fact that they had also degraded to a certain extent, the hanyou's body.

"You were not violated Inuyasha? Beyond some bruising that is." He was relieved to feel Inuyasha shake his head, the pup's voice too shaky to answer. "You were lucky this time brother." Sesshoumaru released his hold on his brother and Shingi came to tie his own sash around Inuyasha's waist. For the first time, Inuyasha was calm enough to look at them and see what little was left of his attackers. The faces of both Inuyoukai were serious; but Inuyasha's heart sank when he saw the old familiar face of Sesshoumaru, expressionless and cold as he gazed back at his little brother. Then Shingi spoke:

"Do you wish for me to take him to the barracks and keep him under arrest? All the cells are empty at the moment."

"That is unneccessary, he will not be going anywhere for a while."

"Begging your pardon Sire, but your brother has committed a grave offense and there are enough witnesses that need to see justice done. These are the laws we all go by; yourself included."

"I know this, but there are extenuating circumstances in this case."

"I do not see them Sire and neither will the others. As advisor to you, I have to say that nobody is above the law. House arrest is sufficient for now as long as Inuyasha stays in his room only." Shingi looked relieved when Sesshoumaru nodded, but Inuyasha didn't; his panic returned, what did that mean? His clutch on his older brother returned in full force, making the Taiyoukai turn his attention to him; Sesshoumaru could not miss the abject fear, although he kept his face neutral.

"Shingi is correct, you shall remain under guard in your room with no access to any but they and myself, until the rest of the patrols return."

"Why till the others get back; what will you do,what's going to happen to me? Are you going to throw me out?" Neither youkai missed the rapid heart rate rise and the breathing increase as Inuyasha faced the sudden, very real consequences of his actions.

"Is that what you want Inuyasha? Do you wish to leave the Western Lands to live on your own again with no protection; but having the freedom to go and do always as you please?" Sesshoumaru's voice too was expressionless as if he had no concern should this be his brother's decision. Once again Shingi commented;

"You will be given the choice to leave the West or take a public whipping before those who know of your crime." Inuyasha sagged at the words; the evening had been too much so far, especially on an empty stomach and he passed out. He awoke to Kagura shaking him and helping him to drink some nourishing broth laced with medicinal herbs. He was in his own room and the two guards at the door were those who had come to inform Shingi of the Jackals' movements. By now Inuyasha was feeling a little sorry for himself and would have welcomed Kagura's soft touch on his forehead, but it was not to be.

Her face was calm and just as neutral as her mate's, but her eyes burned with fury and they were directed at him. She knew all the details, having browbeaten Sesshoumaru into telling her; which he did to stop her worry as he carried Inuyasha into his room still unconscious and still with the faint obnoxious scents lingering, despite the hasty bath in the sea.

"You are a damned ungrateful little fool Inuyasha and now you are in serious trouble. I am so angry that I can't wait to get out of this room before I strangle you." She flung all the utensils she'd been using onto the tray and walked out without a backward glance at the pitiful scrap of hanyou, that was trying not to cry in front of the guards at his door. He looked up to see the cold eyes of his brother who had come in, as his mate went out and had stood silently waiting to be noticed.

Nothing escaped his gaze and he could see that Inuyasha was sad and contrite; but this infringement of rules went beyond the personal, the pup had defied the order of the ruling lord in front of others and for laws to have the desired effect in keeping the order, enforcement was neccessary. He saw the hope fade in his little brother's eyes, that the Sesshoumaru he had come to know had returned; he hadn't, the youkai still kept his old detached demeanor in front of the boy, cold and stiff and emotionless.

"The patrols return tomorrow evening. The next morning you will have chosen which you prefer between banishment or public humiliation."

"I'm sorry Sessh...I never meant to...I just didn't realise, I didn't think."

"That is too often your failing Inuyasha. Should you choose to leave, know that your mark will protect you somewhat and you will not need to fear my attacking you."

"Do you _want _me to go?" He nearly howled in his worry that perhaps Sesshoumaru had got really fed up and would prefer him to leave.

"The decision is yours alone to make, I will not help you to decide. It makes no difference to me." At the sudden gasp of dismay from his brother, he realised how his sentence had sounded. Sesshoumaru didn't quite mean that the way that Inuyasha obviously took it and hastened to assure his brother that he would be welcome to stay if that were his choice.

"I want to stay; but not if no one wants me anymore." Was the timid response.

"You will be wanted." Sesshoumaru then called two of the servants and had them take his brother to his bath room where they scrubbed him completely clean; all the while he didn't complain once and then he was brought back and dressed in a plain and unadorned kimono. Seeing that his brother was again decent; Sesshoumaru nodded to the servants to leave and told Inuyasha to get into bed. There was no hug or any touch of comfort this time, no pet to his ears, no kiss to his forehead; just the cold and unconcerned look of old, as Sesshoumaru saw that this time he was obeyed without question.

Once again Inuyasha soon found himself alone with just the guards who looked like statues except for their breathing; he felt so lonely although he was surrounded outside with people. He knew what he had done was wrong and foolish and now he was to pay for it, with plenty of time to reflect on the full implications of going against the decree, not of Sesshoumaru; but of the Lord of the West.

That night for the first time in a long while, Inuyasha could not share the family futon; but he got up and pulled his bed next to the adjacent wall to his brother's, so that he was at least as near to them all as he could be. All he wanted, was to be tucked up in the loving arms of his family; they were only in the other room but it might as well have been a million miles away. The full horror of what he had done and what had happened, caved in on him and he turned his back to the room and wept bitterly.

In the next room Sesshoumaru was not sleeping either, he could hear and smell his brother's tears and just wanted to go and fetch the pup back to where he belonged; but aside from the fact that the silly little idiot was under guard, he could not, Inuyasha had to make the next move in their relationship and prove himself worthy of trust again. Kagura sat up with him that night as well; she too was distressed about Inuyasha and regardless of her words to the pup, she did understand his need for freedom sometimes.

She was the wind after all and often felt tied herself, but all things in their place and time, Yuki would not always be a tiny pup and soon he and his Papa would be able to transform and run together. She could wait and so therefore, could her recalcitrant brother-in-law come pup. Rin of course knew that Inuyasha was in trouble and was to be punished, but she did not know any of the details. It did not stop her crying herself to sleep however for her friend's sorrows.

The next day did not find any of the family refreshed from sleep; at one point in the night, Sesshoumaru had entered his brother's room to calm the pup down out of a nightmare. Yet all he had done was allow Inuyasha to cling to him, he had offered no other comfort or word until his brother fell asleep in his arms and he put him back in the bed. Inuyasha would never remember that he'd been there and would think that the whole thing had been part of a dream.

Halfway through the day Inuyasha's 'peace' was disturbed as Sesshoumaru and Shingi entered his room; they noticed the pale face with the dark circles under the reddened eyes and both were struck by the defeated look in those eyes.

"Inuyasha the patrols are returning; have you decided?"

"I don't wanna go."

"Very well, Shingi is going to inform you about tomorrow and the procedures for what will happen."

"I know what happens Sesshoumaru."

" You do? Explain." Sesshoumaru carefully observed his brother.

"I've seen that post in the barracks, just like the ones in the villages, what's so special?"

"Human villages have punishment posts?"

"Some, some are just steel rings in the main upright of the sturdiest house, they all do the same thing; hold you tight while the strongest male, usually the blacksmith whips you with a leather strap till you pass out."

"You have..._seen_ them used?"

"Keh!" Inuyasha turned his flushed face away from the impassive one of his brother. Shingi asked the next question, also cautiously.

"What else do the humans do?"

"They insult the person and read a list of the crimes that the person did, then they...they strip them and cut off all their hair even round their ears so's it don't get in the way; then when they are done and the person is passed out, they throw a bucket of water over them and leave them hanging until the next morning even in the winter, then they run them from the village."

"What sort of insults and what sort of crimes Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru's voice was calm, although he was raging inside.

"Oh I don't know, personal insults, stealing from the rubbish tip; sleeping in someone's barn when it was cold and wet, a lot of the time _anything_ that a person does, is wrong in someone's eyes." His voice was tired and defeated, just as it had often been in the days when he was living on his own as a pup; when nobody cared about him and Sesshoumaru had been the one to cause him the most pain.

The two youkai looked at each other and walked out past the guards and Sesshoumaru came to a decision there and then; he would not put Inuyasha through any of that again. It was obvious that the youngster was talking from personal experience and Sesshoumaru had had no idea that he had been put through such things. He wanted answers and he would ask questions as soon as all of the patrols returned.

Sesshoumaru was furious; he knew as did Shingi, that Inuyasha had been recounting things that he'd gone through first hand in the human villages. Yet, as the youkai knew that nothing like that had happened to the pup when he travelled with the young Miko; it had to have done before he was pinned to Goshinboku or met Kikyou. That meant he had been very young indeed when such atrocities had happened.

Suddenly though he found himself remembering that he too had often used his own whip on the young pup and it made him cool down strangely ,with genuine sorrow. Inuyasha had made no comment about his previous treatment, even in light of the threat of a whipping in the morning; he had not tried to put any guilt on his brother or tried to get out of it in anyway. Sesshoumaru realised with a shudder that the whelp was not surprised at the form of punishment and was just going to accept it as he had always done; with resignation and a feeling that for him some things would never truly change.

TBC


	45. Ordeal

Ch 45

Finally all the patrols had returned and after they had bathed and refreshed, they gathered together to discuss the next morning's unpleasant duty. Sesshoumaru started by asking them all and giving them the right to speak their minds with impunity, on how they understood the situation. They one and all said in one form or another that they were very fond of Inuyasha, they had guarded and watched him for so many years when he'd been a lonely pup and all were astounded at his courage and will to survive. But there was no getting away from the fact that he had disobeyed a direct order from Sesshoumaru, who had used his lordly authority to make the order.

Inuyasha was intelligent, he could not be excused because he did not understand what had been said, even if he hadn't fully realised the seriousness of his rebellion. Unfortunately it was agreed that he had to learn and face his punishment. Before Sesshoumaru could speak again, someone asked what punishment the pup faced and Shingi replied that Inuyasha had chosen not to be banished and would therefore be whipped instead. The sentence was thirty lashes for a first offence which was not too severe for a youkai; considering that humans had not put a limit on for a small hanyou pup, thought Sesshoumaru viciously.

He wanted to go back to the villages that had tormented his brother for such petty reasons and do the same to them, but the people were long gone; probably replaced with others of the same calibre but still, not the same. Sesshoumaru was not going to be a hypocrite either; Inuyasha would not want him to destroy an entire village for mistreating him, if he had not once called down curses on his brother for doing the exact same thing.

He then heard Shingi informing them that Inuyasha should be considered as a maturing pup as opposed to an adult and that sentence was only twenty lashes of a whip or strokes from a bamboo cane across buttocks and thighs. Which instument to be used was left to the discretion of the Lord. Well that was a better choice but still Sesshoumaru balked at the idea; his agile mind picturing a small whipped pup tied to a post and just left to hang, cold and naked with his hair roughly shorn around his ears, in pain and with no one to care.

The bile rose to his throat and he desperately wanted a way out of this mess for both Inuyasha and himself; as the Lord he should be able to simply order it to be forgotten, but he could not. He had to be just and be seen to be so, or else his land would fall to ruin. Should any have cause to accuse him of favouritism, there would be no way for others to feel they could have fair hearing; he would be called weak and all trust in his reign could be undermined, leaving his lands and peoples open for attack by those who looked for such weakness.

It seemed that none of the guards however, wanted to see Inuyasha go through this either. There was a lot of murmering between them and Sesshoumaru stayed silent as he did not wish to remind them of his presence and hamper their discussions. They were remembering the times in the past just as their Lord had done; the times when their young charge had suffered things unjustly and they could only try to soften the blows by their calling their master away. Shingi also mentioned the human trials he had suffered as well, which brought up more angry sounding discussion.

The two who had been in charge of Inuyasha since he'd been under arrest, then commented that given the young hanyou's miserable demeaner, he may have already have learned his lesson. This too was discussed and Shingi said that Sesshoumaru's withdrawal of obvious affection for the boy, seemed more salutary than any other punishment; Inuyasha had always craved his brother's love. The other two nodded their agreement, Inuyasha had been desolate when Sesshoumaru did not smile or pet him as he left the previous evening.

"So, are we agreed that we can let this transgression slide for once and consider that he has been punished enough? In light of the fact that Lord Sesshoumaru and I understand now, that he has been through such ordeals in the past from youkai and human alike, I would be prepared to consider that he has been punished enough for his offence." Shingi's words were to the point and Sesshoumaru could find no fault with his conclusion; but he would not speak until everyone else had had their say and then he, as the Lord would pass sentence.

At this point when all seemed to be in agreement one brave soul, shook his head slowly;

"I do not wish to cause our young Lord Inuyasha more pain than is neccessary; but from my own experience with my own pups and from observing the young master over the years, he will be quick to forget if he gets off unpunished."

"Elucidate further." Required Sesshoumaru.

"Sire, your brother is subdued right now because he has had a bad fright and because he is to be whipped. But in a few days his natural ebullience will be back in full force, as it should be; but he will have nothing to reflect on when the next time arises that he wants to do something you forbid, if he gets off freely. Sire please do not misunderstand me, it would be for you alone to decide should he just have disobeyed yourself; but in this he defied the Lord's own command. He must learn not to do that again, now while he _is _young and not when he is older; when it would be harder for him to do so.

There is also the consideration of his own youkai; it is indeed powerful and from the same stock as yourself and it too will push him to defy you, if it finds out that your guilt of the past lets him get away with such defiance and it may lead him into more trouble as he matures. As a father, I know that all our pups need a firm hand and that the youkai too needs to recognise it's alpha. Inuyasha's unconventional upbringing could cause problems for you both, unless you nip it in the bud; you have publicly agreed to treat him as a son and he is young enough to respond to proper parenting."

There were murmers of agreement as this arguement was digested, none of them had considered Inuyasha's untrained and forceful youkai instincts. Sesshoumaru's own dilemma was clear for them all to see, this group of elite soldiers were all highly trusted by him and he knew they understood his reluctance to sentence his brother to a whipping. Another however stood up with a smile on his face which seemed incongruous, given the solemnity of the talks;

"I believe I have a solution that will suffice..."

While the talks were going on, the guards on duty had been swapped in Inuyasha's room and if he'd thought the ones before were statue-like, they were animated in comparison to the ones who'd taken their place. Inuyasha had hoped that Sesshoumaru would come to spend some time with him, but his brother had been avoiding him and it hurt a lot. Memories came unbidden to his mind of when he'd been a small pup and looking out for his big brother, only to see the heartbreaking look of disdain cross his beautiful face when his own was seen.

No one came near him that night and when he curled up trying to sleep as he had the night before, peace eluded him and eventually he sat up like a condemned prisoner to watch for the dawn. Inuyasha's thoughts were black as he looked unseeing into the night, he truly hadn't seen all the implications of his disobedience to Sesshoumaru as the Lord and he knew that payment was going to be expensive. Human punishments were bad enough for minor transgressions and Sesshoumaru had never held back because of his age either; so Inuyasha could only imagine what the youkai punishment for _his_ disobedience was, awaiting him in the morning.

He only hoped that he would not disgrace himself; his self pride had been all he had when he was young and it had been hard won, he would not lose it now. He withdrew deeply into himself trying to find a place where he could blot out the pain when it started; he would not beg or plead for mercy. He would show them all that he was no coward and worthy of his father's blood.

But his biggest source of grievance was still the cold and distant countenance of his brother; he felt he had caused Sesshoumaru to stop loving him and although he knew that his brother wouldn't go back on his word and that he would still look after him, it would now always be at arms length. This fact and that he had also lost his brother's trust was devastating him and made him realise just how much he now needed Sesshoumaru as his brother and father figure. Unknown tears had dried on his cheeks when the first rays of the dawn started to colour the garden.

Sesshoumaru entered just as the light flooded the room and his heart ached when he saw the small huddled figure by the window. Inuyasha just oozed sadness and not fear and was obviously lost deep within his thoughts, as he had not moved when his brother entered. However he shook his head mentally, he needed to make sure that Inuyasha was ready for later. He called the servants to come to dress him and waited until Inuyasha reappeared, clad in a very simple and fine kimono that hardly made him decent. All it did do was give his body a thin covering so he could walk to the barracks; but considering he soon wouldn't have even that, Inuyasha was grateful for the small blessing.

Inuyasha refused anything to eat, he wouldn't have kept it down in any case and he had asked the girl who helped him to dress, to also braid his hair and now it hung in a thick white plait down his back. Sesshoumaru just stared at him, the way the hair was pulled back made the puppy ears look huge and the large defeated eyes completed the effect; that of a lamb being led to the slaughter. The Daiyoukai impassively went over and picked up the braid lifting one eyebrow in question.

"I...I thought if it was out of the way, it might not have to be cut...it don't look so good on me without any hair." The words were hardly spoken but his brother heard them and they clenched at his chest.

"You shall keep your hair in any case Inuyasha."

"Thank you."

"Come; it is time." Sesshoumaru waited at the door as the guards bound Inuyasha's wrists; the normal practice when transporting prisoners and then they were on their way. As they passed Sesshoumaru's rooms, the door was open a crack and a pair of immense brown eyes sparkling with tears locked onto the amber ones of her friend; then they were gone and Inuyasha felt cold and lonely as they walked across the courtyard to the soldiers end of the Palace without even a gentle touch to his shoulder from his brother. But then he didn't now expect anything from that quarter; Inuyasha had betrayed him.

They entered into the barracks which had been emptied for the purpose at hand and the soldiers were on manoevres elsewhere, Inuyasha walked ahead of Sesshoumaru and the guards followed. He walked up to the post and raised his arms waiting to be tied to the ring, fear had begun to lace his scent and Sesshoumaru went across to pull him away.

"You are a little precipitous Inuyasha," he said; "you must face your accusers before anything else happens." He led his younger brother into an interior room where the group of guards awaited him. They were seated in a semi circle facing him as he stood, two guards to his back when Sesshoumaru went to join them.

"Inuyasha, do you understand what you did that was perceived as a crime?" Sesshoumaru asked his brother, hoping that the answer would show them that he had not.

"Feh! Of course I understand; I sneaked off alone, nearly got raped, had to call for you and all the time I was remembering that you might not reach me because I lied to you about going to bed. Not only that, you'd told me not to go even pulling your rank in my face; but I so wanted to see the ocean that I went behind your back." For once Inuyasha was not being rude or defiant, he was just stating the facts and condemning himself with his words. "I think that covers it."

"Indeed." Was his brother's reply. Shingi who as captain of the guard was in charge, now spoke to the hanyou; who stood with his hands still tied, but was still able to look them in the face even though they could all tell that the pup was afraid.

"Inuyasha, you are guilty of disobedience to the Lord of the West, the penalty for this is thirty lashes. However, you are not a full adult and the punishment then is usually twenty strokes of the cane; although it can be lashes of the whip. Had you just defied Lord Sesshoumaru because of him being your brother, he was prepared to let the matter drop considering you have been wrongly punished in your past. But that is not possible when you have deliberately flouted his decree as Lord; I remember distinctly telling you that you owed him allegiance as Lord. Do you agree?"

Inuyasha hung his head but nodded, he could not in honesty deny any of the things said, but he did whisper once again _'sorry Sessh' _so that only his brother could hear him.

"Yet it is also true and in this we have all come to agreement, that your circumstances are unusual in that you have reached your age without proper youkai or parental guidance; you lack essential disciplines to train your youkai into recognising when you should submit to the alpha. Lord Sesshoumaru is the alpha of the whole clan and therefore his word is law, when the Lord makes a decision. You may argue or disobey Sesshoumaru your brother and be dealt with as he sees fit, Inuyasha; but you _never _do so to your Lord, unless you are making a challenge to his reign."

"I didn't think..."

"This is now understood but because of your ignorance and need for training and guidance, you are going to have to be punished; so that your youkai does not think he can continue to flout the law."

"I understand." Inuyasha did and fought hard to keep his fear at bay and his body from shaking.

"Lord Sesshoumaru has sentenced you to twenty blows, which I am to carry out as it was _my_ direct warning that you did not heed. The whole of the group now stood and moved away except for Shingi who called Inuyasha to him. "Inuyasha I have to ask if your youkai will submit without force and accept the authority given to me by our alpha?" All of a sudden Inuyasha understood, he was to submit to someone who may not be his alpha but on the alpha's command; there were so many instincts running through him that he'd not known were there before.

Inuyasha turned his golden eyes to Sesshoumaru; staring into his brother's own deep golden mirrors and then deliberately looked away and turned his head in submission, exposing his neck to his brother's fangs. As soon as he accepted, publicly recognizing for the first time since his mother died, an authority not his own; he was surprised to find himself grabbed swiftly and pulled across Shingi's lap face down, with the iron grip of the guard's arm holding his shoulders and head downwards. Then as had been promised, twenty forceful and burning blows were delivered steadily to his upturned backside. Inuyasha had been allowed to keep the kimono in place as a concession; Sesshoumaru fearing that his brother might otherwise feel threatened in the wrong way.

Shingi had a large and strong hand, these smacks were not those normally given just to correct a child; these were meant to hurt and they did, Inuyasha was unable to keep silent and he yelped with each blow. But he heard Shingi explain that if he was going to act the part of disobedient child, he would have to be treated as such. His youkai needed to start to learn somewhere and this was how most of them had begun. It had been noted that Inuyasha already had been humiliated in his life far too many times and needed that no more, but he was a pup in need of training in the basic pack laws.

A hard spanking would sting and hurt his pride without demeaning it too much, or causing further damage. Then too, his natural fight and indignation would come back more quickly; as he came to appreciate that he was not being treated as he had been in the past, by the humans and youkai who scorned him. His youkai would understand that he could be defeated, if it ever wanted to challenge again; as it had been defeated at a child's level. Inuyasha himself would grow and learn.

Finally he was allowed to stand and Sesshoumaru noted with relief that although Inuyasha was definitely acutely embarrassed, the defeated look was gone and the fire had returned; burning away the moisture that had been forced from his eyes, by the heavy hand of Shingi. But his aura was balanced; his ordeal over and hopefully the lesson learned and with a final stern warning that any other infringement of such sort, would be dealt with in a much harsher manner; Inuyasha was dismissed into the care of his brother again.


	46. Lack of Trust

Ch 46 Lack of Trust

Silently and again without expression, Sesshoumaru turned his brother to face him and sliced through the bonds at his wrists and gently unbound the braided hair. Then he pushed Inuyasha in front of him; to walk him back to the boy's room, where he watched him lie face down on his futon. Neither brother had yet said a word ;but then Sesshoumaru knelt down next to Inuyasha and spoke without inflection, as if reciting the weather;

"You are excused the rest of the morning Inuyasha, but your lessons resume this afternoon. Whatever you think of me, you will work diligently; any and I do mean any, infraction of your set tasks will be met by me with more of what you have already experienced today. I will no longer shirk my duty to our father and you will learn all he would have had you learn, as his son. I will not bear guilt for the past where it may interfere with your future welfare; I trust I make myself understood?"

"I understand Sessh."

"Sesshoumaru." The voice was still expressionless and the eyes were cold glints of ice, Inuyasha swallowed against the sudden lump that formed in his throat and nodded as he whispered;

"Yes, Sesshoumaru."

"Good and to make sure you know that I too, can quell a youthful youkai quite efficiently..." He slapped Inuyasha two more very hard swats; to the pup's already burning bottom before getting up and walking out. Sesshoumaru knew he was a bit mean doing that to his brother; but he had felt such anger at the young fool in the last couple of days, that he justified the extra blows by telling himself that Inuyasha was lucky to have got off so lightly in the first place. He also blocked out the sounds of sniffing that came from the boy's room, because if he went in to comfort Inuyasha the whole point of the punishment would be lost.

Inuyasha after all was said and done had not only defied him as the Lord, for which the punishment had been carried out; but he had also rebelled at their personal relationship and the whelp would have to work out for himself (if he wanted to), how to mend that if possible. Sesshoumaru however did pretend not to notice the small body of Rin tucked in the shadows as he left; letting her slip almost silently into Inuyasha's room.

The girl went up and knelt by Inuyasha's head and without a word, knowing that he could tell by scent that it was she; started to offer him consolation by stroking his hair. She stayed silent; understanding that he did not want to talk but the silence was not oppressive, even though it was only broken by the odd sniffling sound from Inuyasha. Rin was well aware now of what had happened to him and she had heard Sesshoumaru's slaps too; wincing in sympathy when Inuyasha had yelped and so she stayed all morning with him, just being there so he wasn't alone.

As Sesshoumaru re-entered his suite, Kagura looked up at him with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"Was that _absolutely_ neccessary my love?" She asked him.

"Probably not." He replied sharply. In truth he was angered at himself for what he now regarded as a petty action, in causing further pain to Inuyasha. Kagura shook her head and considered; she did not like reminding anyone of her dubious past, but she did have a wealth of useful knowledge because of it.

"You know, I have heard an angry child screaming at his foster parent that he did not have to obey; because the man was not his real father. I have also heard a child say that she wished she was one of her aunt's children because they were allowed to do things she was not. Both remarks are extremely hurtful to the adults in the situation and they are meant to be; it is often the only weapon the child has, when it lashes out at a caregiver."

"Your point Kagura?"

"You know that Inuyasha is volatile and strikes out with his tongue, before he thinks what he is saying; in that, he shows just what a pup he still is. I don't know how many times Kagome was hurt by his thoughtless words and went back to her time; leaving Inuyasha remorseful and lost as he stayed by the well, awaiting her return and scared that she might not come back. You cannot deny that he loved her, can you? He may have hurt you too, but it is also obvious he loves you; don't misunderstand him. Your own pup will likely do the same things you know."

Sesshoumaru accepted her wisdom and came to kiss her; pushing her back towards the futon as his desire for her arose, but then he got frustrated as the sad little sounds that they could both hear form the next chamber was offputting to them both. Shaking his head ruefully, Sesshoumaru kissed her again and this time proceeded to take both their minds off Inuyasha completely; for a while.

When the time came for his afternoon lessons, Inuyasha was ready and waiting for his brother; although he wouldn't make eye contact. Sesshoumaru said nothing either; but he did pick up the red cushion in case his brother found it became uncomfortable to kneel for the entire afternon, with his bottom resting on his feet. The lessons went well; Inuyasha worked hard and silently with Sesshoumaru patient and softly spoken when he either needed to correct or explain. Once again though, Sesshoumaru found the quiet Inuyasha more disturbing than the loud one.

That night too Inuyasha was back in the family futon; Sesshoumaru even kissed him goodnight as usual, but it was clear to the pup that it was done without feeling and only as a matter of form. Up to a few nights ago his brother would have scratched his ears and run his hand through his mane as well, when he said goodnight. Nothing changed during the week; when one day Inuyasha asked Kagura if he could look after Yuki for her, to give her and his brother some time together.

"You may not take the pup Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru answered as he came up to them both. They were both surprised by this, especially Kagura who narrowed her eyes as she looked at her mate.

"Why? I've done it before, lots of times."

"I cannot trust you."

"I would never hurt Yuki; you cannot believe I would let harm come to him." Inuyasha was stricken and Sesshoumaru hastened to explain.

"I know that you would not deliberately cause harm Inuyasha, but...should I place some restriction on your activities, I do not trust you to follow them should you not agree; or even do it to 'spite' me. Where my pups are concerned it is imperative you do not gainsay me." His voice was cool as he spoke and his expression unchanged, as he watched Inuyasha walk off without a word and he stopped Kagura from following the boy; by putting his hand on her arm. "Leave him to think my words through my love. In this I will not be swayed."

Inuyasha though was sullen and lonely; he missed his brother and was well aware of why Sesshoumaru was so distant with him. Inuyasha knew he had hurt him deeply but he'd not considered what it would mean to him if he were to lose his brother's trust. Even though the Taiyoukai was not overly demonstrative, Inuyasha craved the small expresssions of fondness that he had become used to. This cold politeness of which he was now the recipient, was harder to bear than in the days when Sesshoumaru was trying to kill him.

Rin found him over by the willow tree near their pond and came to sit quietly next to him. In some ways she recognised that he didn't wish to speak and never tried to force him, treating him rather like she had her papa when they'd travelled together. Although she knew Inuyasha was not quite so aloof as Sesshoumaru had been and she seemed to know how to get the best from the younger sibling. Despite the fact that he must know that she was there as he'd done earlier in the week; he made no move to bring his head up from his knees. He was only thinking, not crying; even if his thoughts were miserable.

Rin gave her pleasant little giggle and wafted a plate of special biscuits in front of his bowed head; letting the enticing scent do it's job and very soon Inuyasha made a grab for a biscuit as the plate came near and pulled it into the gap beneath his chin. Rin was not put off at all; she just helped herself to another and sat with her legs straight out and leaning back on her palms.

"All you have to do is tell Papa you are sorry for being naughty and that you wont do it again." She said suddenly.

"It's never that simple."

"Of course it is. You are sorry aren't you?"

"Yes, this time I am, but s'pose there's a time when I'm not; I can't always be obedient; sometimes I want to do things from my own mind, not just what I'm told to do. I can't give him all my control."

"It's not like that Inuyasha. Papa hasn't stopped you doing anything 'cept that one time. He doesn't try to control you, only keep you safe and he was right wasn't he?"

"Yeah he was right; it's just I've not had anyone look out for me for so long and I have to rely on myself or..."

"Not any more Inuyasha; Papa looked after me when I was not so good at doing it, he knows what he is doing. Or don't _you_ trust him yet."

"Feh! I could always trust him to hurt me, try to kill me or toss me away like I was nothing. But no, I do trust him to look after me now; but he has stopped loving me, if he ever did. I really messed up as usual."

"Now you're just being silly and feeling sorry for yourself."

"What do you know runt?"

"I know you like my biscuits and that they make you feel better."

"Keh!" He answered, but it was true; he did feel better and she was an intelligent child, who had known the kindlier Sesshoumaru for longer than he had. They walked back together and Inuyasha was planning on saying sorry to his brother, but as he got up the courage; Sesshoumaru's face was as stony as Inuyasha had ever seen him as he stared at them both.

"I told you not to take my pups anywhere Inuyasha and you immediately flout my request; perhaps I should have had you flogged." Sesshoumaru was upset because of the misunderstanding and thought that what he'd said was the truth, but his eyes were angry and Inuyasha's fight or flight instinct was strong; he turned and fled. Seeing his brother's face; once again blanched in fear of him, sobered Sesshoumaru up immediately and he cursed his unusually quick tempered response.

"Papa, Inuyasha didn't take me anywhere; I found him and took him some of the biscuits he likes, he's been so unhappy all week." Rin explained and Sesshoumaru took her into Kagura while he went to find his brother yet again. Not bothering to scent the air and knowing that Inuyasha couldn't get too far, Sesshoumaru headed for the cave; but to no avail, the whelp was not there. No matter, Inuyasha was not faster than his brother and Sessshoumaru was an expert tracker.

It was not long before he found the pup hiding in a hole beneath a huge boulder; that was sheltered and hidden by the bushes that grew around. Inuyasha was silent, instinct telling him not to move in the presence of a predator bigger than himself. He was not afraid, he knew that he could fight if he needed to; but he didn't want to fight his brother anymore. He wanted to reach Goshinboku and sit on his branch and stay there until he was no more.

"Inuyasha, come out of there; return home with me, I spoke in haste and without knowledge."

"Leave me alone Sesshoumaru, I am leaving; I just can't live at the Palace with you all."

"You do not make sense whelp."

"I will never please you enough, the way you deserve; I'll always disappoint you, I've been on my own too long. I can live alone again, it's no big deal. I'm going to Goshinboku for a while, then I'll move on someplace else. You got a really nice little family with your girl and boy, you don't need a renegade like me around."

"Let me be the judge of who belongs in my family Inuyasha."

"**No **Sesshoumaru, I _can't _do it. I am going away." With that he came out of his hiding space and ran off towards the old village and the sacred tree. Sesshoumaru followed him later and at a distance. He stayed out of sight and scent as Inuyasha went in to see Kaede and share a meal with her, after he'd provided the meat; then he waited again until the pup went to Goshinboku for the night. As Inuyasha slept, his ears acting like mini radars listening to the forest; Sesshoumaru wondered. How could he have acted so ignorant in the light of Inuyasha's obvious youth?

It was so clear to him now as he watched the hanyou; in a pose that he'd seen him in many times since the pup had been unsealed, he could easily see beyond the hard exterior to the vulnerability beneath. He was not going to let Inuyasha run away again like the child he was; the whelp needed a home, no matter what he thought and since when did pups know what was best for them anyway? Once the pup was sound asleep; Sesshoumaru used his stealth and silence to lift Inuyasha from his branch using his own tail and when the boy was comfortable among the roots, the youkai transformed into his huge canine form to provide warmth and protection from the night.

They passed the night with Sesshoumaru deep in thought and Inuyasha deep in sleep, tucked up against the joint of his brother's hind leg; resting his head where he had crawled in the night, instinctively seeking the comfort of his brother's warm body by scent. Sesshoumaru could see Inuyasha, as he had curled his head around; letting his ear cover the boy like a blanket and as the day dawned he knew that Inuyasha had awakened, by the damp seeping through his fur beneath his little sibling's head.

As Sesshoumaru immediately changed back to his humanoid form, the hot tears now soaked into the silk of his hakama instead; seeing as Inuyasha's head was still laying on his brother's leg. Leaning his hand down, Sesshoumaru stroked the silver head; paying great attention to the base of his ears and humming a low lullaby that he remembered from years before. Inuyasha just wept harder, until he was gathered up and pulled into his brother's lap and held tightly against Sesshoumaru's chest and rocked gently.

"I have never felt such fear than when I knew you were in danger and I could smell those Jackal's scents mingled with your own. When I considered that I might be too late to protect you, even though I knew you lived. Then when I saw you on that rock, I was so relieved but angry with you that I could have killed you myself. It has hurt my feelings that you've rejected my guidance, but that is your choice. What is not your choice, is whether or not to return; you are too young to be alone, whatever has happened before. And before you object that you think I am forgetting all you have done; I am not. But you have been lucky to survive everything so long and so young."

There was no answer from the boy clutching at his kimono; Inuyasha knew that he had done great things with great strength, truly his father had passed his power to both sons. But too he knew that he would have died many times over, had he not had the help of his friends on their quest; or even his brother at times and he now realised that Sesshoumaru had made the elite guards protect him as a small pup, when he was alone after his mother passed. Therefore he could not in all honesty deny the truth of his brother's words.

"I know too that you wish to come home with me. You want the warmth of our futon and the embrace of our arms when you are pained."

"You are not the same to me anymore Sesshoumaru, you have closed off and now I am just an obligation." Inuyasha's replies were like childish whines.

"I was wrong and I am sorry, let us learn together."

"I never meant to hurt you, I didn't think of it as rejecting you."

"I understand more now Inuyasha; we can try again Little Brother; as many times as it takes."

"O.K. Sessh...sorry Sesshoumaru."

"Sessh is fine, Inuyasha." He once again transformed and carried Inuyasha back to the Palace on his warm back. Once again Kagura was waiting for them and ushered the pup into his room and put him to bed; her expression brooking no arguement with either brother. She then took a flannel and washed Inuyasha's face before having his breakfast served; her look of concern was not lost on her mate.

"He will be fine Kagura, we have spoken to one another."

"You mean you have lectured him. Can't you see he is exhausted and miserable."

"I will make amends; I have promised, he is my pup now and he will be safe from all harm here with us.

TBC


	47. Household Changes

Ch 47 Household Changes

Inuyasha did go back to sleep until lunchtime, when Rin brought him in some food on a tray; she had enough for herself to share as well. Sitting up at the little table in the window, they sat in companionable quiet as Inuyasha looked at what she had made.

"This is like ramen; how did you know?"

"I've seen you eat it a couple of times. Once Kagome offered me some and I liked it; she told me that it was a sort of noodle soup and how to make noodles, I often make it in the kitchens when I have some free time. I knew you liked it before; though I know it's not the same as that stuff Kagome had, but it's the nearest I could do."

"It's very good Rin." Was all he said as he ate the ramen and stared lost in thought out of the window. After the lunch, Sesshoumaru came in for the afternoon lessons and this time the atmosphere between the two brother's was much improved. That night too, Inuyasha slept very well again; tucked between his brother and sister-in-law with Yuki and Rin, after Sesshoumaru gave him his much missed bedtime caress of hair and ears just as he did with the other two pups.

Over the next five or six years, not a lot changed in the Western Palace routines and for the long lived youkai, the time wasn't even considered. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru had finally settled down together without too many misunderstandings anymore; especially as the young Yuki started to follow his Uncle Yassa. He was practically hero worshipping the hanyou and Inuyasha had taken the responsibility to heart; trying his hardest not to set a bad example for his young, impressionable nephew. His own learning had come on in leaps and bounds; Inuyasha was intelligent and quick to learn, eager to gain in knowledge.

There had been only a few times when Sesshoumaru had felt he had to resort to the promised immediate retribution, when Inuyasha shirked or misbehaved by pushing at his set boundaries; but it had not happened often and there had been no rancor between them afterward. Inuyasha recognised that his brother had been very serious when he had sworn that he would gain the education he had been lacking; including _any_ required discipline. Sesshoumaru was not cruel to him, far from it; but he had set his hand to the plough and Inuyasha was his pup, so if it was required, he would still sting.

Inuyasha was always welcome in the slayer's village which was growing rapidly; the human ability to reproduce quickly, only added to the new additions of children who would clamour to play with the hanyou when he arrived. Miroku and Sango too, had done their fair share of reproduction; their family now consisted of three girls and two boys led by the pretty little Kagome who was Inuyasha's secret favourite.

Sango voiced concern on one of Inuyasha's visits that Kaede was getting older and although the villagers still respected and helped their Miko, she had no natural family and some times she had gone without food for a couple of days because no one checked her. She had trained a new girl to take over from her, who had been given her own hut in honour of her position and she had two sisters and a brother who made sure she was fine. Inuyasha went at once to the village to visit Kaede as he would have done in any case.

He found her in good health and spirits but the cursory look around that was not lost on Kaede, proved Sango's words true; there was little food in the storage and Kaede's blankets were growing thin, they would not afford much in the way of warmth during the coming winter. He left rather abruptly and went into the village where he was greeted with extreme caution; some of the new villagers not knowing who he was and some of the younger ones who had had the tales told and exaggerated, were expecting him to rampage the minute he showed his face.

The new miko was a child he recognised and she had grown sensibly; she knew he was no threat to them, if they didn't attack him first and she welcomed him in a voice that carried to all. Inuyasha brought straw, food and a couple of thick warm blankets and a cloak plus other sundry items that he thought Kaede could use; the gold from his allowance was as good as anybody else's and he had no problem in aquiring the items. Then he returned to the hut and repaired the roof to his own satisfaction and gave Kaede the other things to put where she wished.

Kaede did not embarass the hanyou by effusive thanks, it was not her way and would certainly have made the boy run; but she was very grateful and made him a delicious stew from the rabbit he caught and started to roast the suckling pig, he had also found and prepared. Inuyasha didn't know what he should do about Kaede; Sango and Miroku were just too far to keep an eye on her daily, plus their own lives were already very busy. But as he and the old lady shared memories over the meal, he could hear the wistful tones of her voice, that the village was not quite the same anymore.

Later when she slept, Inuyasha went to observe the monument that the village had erected in honour of them; it was well kept and had fresh flowers adorning it, but he as a still living being was not the one remembered. The stone figures were the only ones who mattered now, to the story tellers of the time; they could be made to say or do anything that the narrator wished, regardless of what really happened. The monument was a good likeness of them though and Inuyasha found he could smile fondly at the Kagome, without the immediate rush of tears that normally happened to him; only the pull on his heart remained the same.

Inuyasha spent the cooling night on Kaede's roof, dozing and thinking; he could hear her sleeping below and the beginnings of a cough was apparant to his sensitive hearing. In the morning he had come to a decision and used his more persuasive powers of speech to influence the elderly miko.

"Oi, Kaede; how about you come and live with us in the Palace. You aren't needed here anymore and you will be warmer and not alone so much." Inuyasha was staring at her with his golden eyes wide and from her long association with him and his ways, Kaede could see the worry in them and also the genuine care in the invitation to go with him. She smiled softly and patted his hand.

"I have lived here all my life Inuyasha and what would thy brother say to thy invitation to this old woman?"

"Feh! He'd see the reasoning; he's not as awful as all that, to let you fade here with no one to take any notice. Come on, I'll take you to see Sango, Miroku and the brats whenever you want and they visit me sometimes."

"I will...consider thy offer with gratitude Inuyasha."

"Keh!" He replied going pink and she smiled; knowing that he hated still, to be seen to care. Inuyasha stayed for a few days but he heard the odd whisper that although not threatening in itself, could turn so if he didn't leave; people were starting to question the old Miko's judgement about letting the hanyou stay around for so long. After making sure that she had meat and root vegetables in good supply, Inuyasha said he would come for her in one month; suggesting that she let it become known that she was moving to be nearer Sango and Miroku's family.

This would not be a lie, just a slight evasion. The slayer's village was nearer to the Western Territory than Kaede's old village. To make sure that Kaede would not dismiss the idea out of hand, Inuyasha once again headed home; but via Sango and Miroku. He explained his invitation, letting them know that Kaede would be safe and comfortable; rather than left on the edge and forgotten by the villagers. She would be welcomed and valued, with her own suite of rooms and company when she wished.

It seemed a good idea to the couple and they agreed to talk to Kaede about it.

Meantime Inuyasha would have to approach Sesshoumaru about his offer; gone were the days when he would have just landed it all in his brother's lap and then cause a fuss if the youkai objected. Now Inuyasha knew how to be more reasonable and only resorted to theatrics if things were not going his way; he was still very much a kid in many respects. Thankfully Sesshoumaru was now more knowing of his Pup Brother's ways and didn't resort to intimidation or oppression; therefore making it easier for Inuyasha to go to him with his queries and concerns.

He made a point to make a small fuss of his sibling whenever he returned from a visit, or even if he'd been away for only the day; he would pet his ear, run his claws through his mane or just lay a hand on his shoulder, anything small to help the pup know he had been missed. He hadn't realised how important these small touches were for Inuyasha, until he and Kagura had been discussing some of his brother's inexplicable moods one day. Sesshoumaru was at a loss as to Inuyasha's alternate staring or looking away, at him after he had visited the slayer's village; one time soon after they had come to their clearer understanding of one another.

After observing the boys together, she suggested that Sesshoumaru touch his brother on the arm and give him a smile. Bemused, but respectful by now of his mate's intuition; he did so and the cloud had lifted from Inuyasha and his suspicious behaviour almost immediately. Of course Sesshoumaru then enquired of Kagura how she knew and what had that all been about?

"Inuyasha equates touch with acceptance Sesshoumaru; if you neglect that he feels you are shunning him again."

"How would you know this?"

"Sesshou think, most of his life he has been considered a 'filthy dirty hanyou', who no one except his mother and then his friends would willingly touch. Touch is very important to him; although he won't admit it even to himself."

"These human feelings my brother has, how will I ever know them all?" His superior attitude made Kagura laugh heartily at him and he was close to being miffed, demanding a reason for her mirth.

"It is not only humans who like to be touched as a sign of love or comfort, my pompous love. You are certainly not immune."

"No, I concede I enjoy the touch of you; My Kagura."

"And before me too, dearest." She hinted smiling.

"No love, there was only myself since my father died; I did not need anyone to touch This Sesshoumaru to give _me_ a sense of self worth. In fact I would have _actively_ discouraged the notion." He was suddenly not so sure of his own statements, when Kagura's smile did not abate.

"True, in as much as Jaken would have loved to pet you had you allowed it; but sometimes Rin was able to hold your hand or snuggle in your tail with your permission and this gave you a sense of being needed. But as for comfort, there are times when you are pensive or in the past when you alone stayed awake, you would run your fingers through your hair; or stroke your tail. You had to pet yourself then , because you would allow no other to do so."

"Mere grooming, my love."

"I disagree, your grooming was much more intense and _interesting_. You would luxuriate almost cat-like in a hot spring and you could spend hours on making sure your hair and tail were cleaned to your immaculate satisfaction. " Kagura almost said this as if lost in recollection; Sesshoumaru's answer was slightly horrified.

"That monster even made you watch me _bathe_ to satisfy his...curiosity about me?"

"No, nor Kanna; but I did have some free time myself you know and I could sometimes do as _I _wished. It was I who watched you often and you were certainly worth the time, especially if the _'wind'_ was blowing in the right direction." Her grin was huge, she just loved getting under his skin and winding him up; even more so when he got his _'I'm so perfect'_ attitude up and running. Speaking of running, she had better do that now, she'd thought; Sesshoumaru was looking at her like the predator he was, so she leapt up still laughing and ran. He had caught her with no problem and there had been a rather frenzied and intense interlude under the sakura trees in the garden; to the delight and satisfaction of both, as Sesshoumaru taught Kagura that he was still _'worth the time'._

The consequences of that bit of unbridled passion, came to the fore when Kagura later gave birth to twins; a boy and girl, who were totally different to look at. The daughter was exactly like Sesshoumaru, including the golden eyes and even the same markings; whereas the boy had a golden shine to his hair and, like his older brother had darker eyes. They reminded Inuyasha of the liquid caramel that he had hated the taste of, but thought looked lovely; when he'd tried it in Kagome's time and he vowed to protect the new pups with his life just as he had done with Yuki.

Yuki was amazed at the tiny creatures and was immediately protective; hovering over the cradle that the pups shared for now and letting none past his vigilant stance that looked exactly like Uncle Yassa's, with his hands tucked into his sleeves. Not at least unless they passed his approval; Sesshoumaru was very proud of his new additions and their brother, swallowing once more the regret that he had never been as protective of his own sibling.

But now the twins were at toddler stage and into everything as all babies or pups, whatever the race do and making mischief; Kagura had her hands full, but Rin at nearly seventeen was a great help, the pups adored her and the feeling was mutual, so all in all everything was well in the household most of the time. Inuyasha was still easy to read for Sesshoumaru and so when he returned from his visit with thoughts of Kaede on his mind, the older brother knew to ask him what was the matter; making it easier for his Pup Brother to ask his question.

Inuyasha no longer worried about voicing any of his concerns to his older brother; Sesshoumaru was reasonable and in this case he concurred, the elderly Miko should not be left with no one she could regularly rely on. In fact, he wrote a letter to her personally to offer her a home. He was grateful for all the care that she had offered his brother throughout her life and she had been reliable and tolerable when she had come to help him, when Inuyasha was first home thinking himself a young pup. It was time to return the favour. The letter was gracious but by no means indifferent and Kaede, to her surprise was persuaded to accept.

Kaede did not have much in the way of possessions and it was not difficult for Miroku and Sango to get her loaded up and back to their village; it had been decided that it would be better if she didn't go with any youkai sent by Sesshoumaru, for fear of prejudice. It would not have made any difference to her anymore; but might have cast a shadow on the young Miko that she had trained and possibly influenced. Inuyasha then came for her with Ah-Un who had plenty of room for the elderly lady and her small bundle of belongings.

The gifts from Inuyasha she would not leave behind, no matter how many times she was informed that she would have plenty more to keep her warm at the Palace; they were special to her heart and would remain with her for the rest of her life. The trip was not too long or tiring and soon Kaede was settling into her new home; a set of rooms near the Royal suite and the two sisters whom Sesshoumaru had freed along with the other slaves, were set aside for her approval as attendents.

The hanyou and human girls were nervous near the Miko, but Kaede warmed to the pair straight away; she recognised the girls whom she had seen briefly and was glad for the good fortune that had rescued them, putting them in Sesshoumaru's care and she was more than satisfied with the arrangement. For the first week or so, Kaede kept herself local to her rooms; not out of fear, but to settle in and get to know her girls as she called them. They had quickly come to trust the Miko and delighted in finding small things to decorate her rooms; although Kaede didn't like clutter, she did appreciate some fine items.

The gifts that she'd brought from the village, including those Sesshoumaru had given her in gratitude for her care of his brother; were also displayed, with the furs on the floor as lovely rugs to her feet and Inuyasha's present of blankets were already on her futon. To her further delight she also had a small, but perfect private garden that was entered as the others were; through the living room windows. Inuyasha told her that she could do as she liked with it and anything else she required, she only needed to ask; knowing that Kaede would never try to exploit her new benefactor.

Then too, she found herself the object of extreme fascination. She would often find that as she was doing her normal living she could feel eyes watching her; but as she turned to look who was there, all she would see was a slight blur. This went on for a week until there was a knock on her door and Inuyasha came in with the three pups; the girl sitting on his shoulders and a boy clutching him tightly in each hand. This was the first time she had seen Sesshoumaru's offspring; or been this close to any very young high youkai and she was entranced at the living dolls.

She had never seen such beautiful children, although Inuyasha was sometimes proof of beauty only being skin deep; as were any youkai come to think of it. Then humans could leave a lot to be desired too, she sighed to herself. Apparently these exquisite little creatures were fascinated by her elderly features; having lived so far only around perpetualy youthful looks. She was a new source of entertainment and they had been stealing glances of her; although bolting with their father's lightening speed, when in danger of being spotted. This made her laugh heartily and they all stared at her; but she invited them to stay and asked the girls for some treats which when they arrived, broke the ice thoroughly.

After that, the pups were often to be found with Kaede who had a good lot of stories; especially about their beloved Uncle Yassa, who could be assured to jump in if he disagreed with her interpretation. Kaede would wink at the pups as Inuyasha growled, which they thought was great fun; because he would usually end up chasing them away and once their parents had made sure that the pups were not a nuisance to the elderly human, they were allowed to see her whenever it was convenient. Kaede enjoyed the vibrant children who were well behaved for the majority of the time near her; Inuyasha had taught them that humans were not as strong as youkai and that Kaede was not young.

Kaede though responded well to the fact that she was safe and secure, her health improved with the warmth and the herbs for her cough that Jinenji supplied from his own garden. The horse hanyou's fame had spread a little by now and both human and youkai alike trusted his knowledge and experience. He had been introduced to the Western Palace by Kargura herself, when she wanted herbs for when Inuyasha had needed them; the wind youkai seemed to know of everyone. She even knew that the bat hanyou Shiori and her human mother, had found a loving home with one of her father's old friends who had been exiled for that very friendship. Inuyasha had been pleased to know that they were safe.

TBC


	48. A Surprising Invitation

Ch 48 A Surprising Invitation

Kaede soon became part of the household, she was good with the pups and also proved good for a natter with Kagura on occasion. The Wind Youkai found her form of dry wit refreshing over a civilised cup of tea in the afternoon, when Sesshoumaru was busy with Inuyasha and the pups with Rin were playing outside. One day Sango joined them for their tea and chat as did Rin, the pups kept Sango's children amused and vice versa while Miroku and Inuyasha sparred in the dojo against Sesshoumaru and Shingi. Apart from the visit to just see their friends, Miroku had been back to Kaede's old garden patch and brought her some plants; herbs and cuttings of her more rare things, to plant in her own garden.

She already had some bits and pieces from Jinengi, some of which were new to her herblore; but her own were even older, having been planted by her predecessors in the same place. Kaede loved the flowers and trees of the landscaped gardens, but she had often walked among the kitchen gardens wistfully; scenting the herbs as the warm sun brought their perfumes to the surface. Now she could smell them for herself when she was quietly thinking in her rooms; with the old familiar garden relaid in part, amid her new one. There was much to think about and she often chuckled to herself when she thought of what people would say; if they knew that she, a Miko was firmly ensconced in the heart of Youkai territory.

Rin became a consistent companion; when her studies were through for the day and everyone else was busy, she would come and keep Kaede company. She proved to be very interested in the medicinal side to the herbs and was willing to learn all that Kaede could teach her and then she would go and visit with Jinengi for a day at a time; to learn from him about the growing of plants of all sorts. She wanted to be useful, as well as the daughter of the Lord and she had a long time to live hopefully. The youkai within her that had been the gift of Midoriko, would allow her to grow to human maturity and stop ageing from there; in the same way that it did for normal youkai.

Kaede too got a great deal of pleasure in watching Inuyasha play with his niece and nephews; he was learning for the first time many of the games that children play, joining in and enjoying himself immensely. Sesshoumaru and others who'd known the pup from his own childhood, also found the sight gratifying; some things may have happened in reverse for Inuyasha, but they were glad he could experience them eventually. There were more swings and playground toys that had been made by the loving hanyou to cater for the growing family; the sandpit was also enlarged and sometimes the whole family would take a picnic and stay in their secluded glade all day. These were the happiest times for them all and Inuyasha felt especially blessed now.

Inuyasha was definitely maturing, but at a more normal rate; able to be both childish and adult, without the worry of fearsome reprisals beyond the norm of Sesshoumaru's discipline. Kaede and Rin couldn't help laughing at the hanyou's expense, although not within his earshot; when one day he and Yuki were caught in some serious misdemeaner that they had been warned about. When the inevitable happened and they were caught; Inuyasha was heard to complain loudly that he had received more swats than Yuki, when they'd been punished soundly in Sesshoumaru's study and it had all been his nephew's fault.

Sesshoumaru exited his study afterwards unable to hide his own grin; but knowing that Inuyasha probably spoke the truth when he claimed that Yuki had instigated their wrongdoing. He had never considered treating Inuyasha any differently to his own pups or indeed to how his father had treated him, the fact that they were uncle and nephew wasn't an issue; they had both been bad whelps. But that Inuyasha was complaining as if Yuki and he were the same age and Sesshoumaru had been unfair in treating him harder, although as the elder he should have known better; was very amusing to all who heard, as most of the Palace had by the evening.

When Inuyasha found out that everyone seemed to know what had happened later that day, he complained loudly again that there was no privacy in the Palace; to which Sesshoumaru merely commented that if he had kept his own mouth shut, nobody else would have known. But there was no repeat of his rebellion against Sesshoumaru's express wishes, he and his youkai had learned the hard way to toe the line where the _Lord 's_ decrees were concerned. Yet Sesshoumaru trusted his brother completely now with his pups' safety, knowing that Inuyasha would give his own life before he allowed harm to come to them.

A few more years passed in much the same way; Inuyasha was starting to be a more reliable help to Sesshoumaru, showing good and wise intuition when dealing with diplomacy. This was surprising, considering Inuyasha's usual way of solving problems had tended to be at the end of his father's sword; yet the natural skills were there and Sesshoumaru had great hopes for him, plus it gave the youkai a nice feeling as they were working together.

Grandmother had been a regular if infrequent visitor; she was wise enough to know how not to interfere with the upbringing of the pups, but she did know lots of things that they could do when she left that would wind their parents up. The pups thought she was great and looked forward to her visits; to Sesshoumaru and Kagura she was a mixed blessing and to Inuyasha, although he liked her well enough, he still felt guilty near her and acted shy. In turn, Lady Mother wanted to know all about his education in the same way as she was interested in the other pups and treated him a bit like one of them as well; it was easy for her to look on him as Sesshoumaru's rather than his father's offspring.

The last time she came however she was closeted for a long while with Sesshoumaru privately and out of respect for her as her son, but also because he now knew how observant she was from a distance; he listened carefully to her words. Her pearls of wisdom though shocked him and although too wise to reject them without seeing for himself; Sesshoumaru deferred making a decision until the end of her visit, wanting to confer with Kagura.

Once Sesshoumaru and his mate had discussed his mother's proposal, Kagura thought it would be a good idea and at the evening meal he nodded to his mother; signalling that he approved of her suggestion. She just raised her eyebrows and smirked at her son, she would have asked her question in any case with or without his permission.

"Inuyasha? I would like you to come and stay with me for a while; since my period of seclusion is over now, I have found myself invited to various places and I have no escort. It would please me to have you as my squire for such events; it would also give me the time to come to know you better. Please think about it." she then looked down to peer at the boy from beneath her lashes; not missing the instinctive glances he gave to Sesshoumaru and the others, nor the feelings behind each one.

"I...I...I am honoured Lady Mother...how...how long will you want me to stay with you?"

"Oh there is not a specific time; probably a year, maybe a bit more." This time she observed all the glances return to Inuyasha, she had not mentioned any amount of time to Sesshoumaru and he had not thought to ask.

"That is a long time for Inuyasha to be away from his home, Mother."

"Nonsense, he will hardly be missed before he is back for a visit; you too could do with your afternoons freed up for your affairs of state for a while, couldn't you? Inuyasha won't begrudge you some time to catch up will he?" The slight hard edge was back in her manipulative voice and Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha would accept now, because he would not wish to be in the way. The Lord did not like being 'played' by anyone but the only one who could get away with it, had just done so again.

"Of course I accept Lady Mother...if Sesshoumaru doesn't need me." They could all hear the plea, but it was to no avail;

"I am sure that he will do well enough without you for a while, just as he managed before; whereas I am alone, with no one to protect me when I travel." She replied coyly, and Sesshoumaru couldn't help the snort of disbelief.

"Since _when _did you need protecting Mother, you are formidable."

"That may be, but it is far more pleasant to be looked after and accompanied by a handsome youth."

"I said it would be an honour Lady Mother. I will go with you." Inuyasha said firmly. _'But not very willingly' _thought Sesshoumaru, as he looked at his now blushing brother; he would have to speak to him soon, as he knew that some of the comments would leave Inuyasha feeling insecure. Immediately after the evening meal he took Inuyasha to his rooms, then turning Inuyasha to face him and making sure he had eye contact so that there would be no misunderstandings; for once Sesshoumaru forestalled his brother by speaking first.

"You do not have to go if you do not wish, Inuyasha; Mother did not say how long she planned to keep you when she spoke to me."

"You agreed at first though; you want me to go?"

"Mother informed me there are things to your advantage if you stay with her. She does not lie and I want you to have all, to which you are entitled. Do not think I wish to get rid of you."

"It is true that I take up a lot of your time and am not enough of a help to be missed, if I am not here."

"It is time I gladly afford and that you should have had before and your worth is not measured in what you can give, Inuyasha; you are my pup, my brother and this is your home where you are wanted. Never think otherwise."

"But you think I should go, don't you and I've said I will. It's just that...Lady Mother..."

"I understand brother, she has that effect on me as well." That night Sesshoumaru made sure that Inuyasha went to sleep in physical contact with himself and Kagura to banish any silly thoughts that he might still be harbouring. He also kept a close eye on the pup as he prepared the things he was to take with him; noting the quiet demeanour as Inuyasha packed his kimono's and some of his treasures. There was not a lot really and it didn't take him long, it was only recently that he had been given anything as his possession and not many had great sentimental value that couldn't be left.

He was taking his box of family stones and a soft bag of silk, embroidered with moons and stars made for him by Rin; in which to put his childhood mementos. He had his soft red ball, a couple of his mother's hair ribbons and comb, a thimble that he had made her and some of his old copy books with his very first letters. These had since been added too; his first pen from Sesshoumaru with some paper and a small, but exquisite picture from Rin. She had proved a competent artist over the years and had copied one of the gallery pictures of his mother and father for him in miniature. Kagura had provided a frame for him to put it in and now it went into the bag to go with him.

Sesshoumaru also added some things; small items from each of the pups, Rin, Kagura and himself; heavy with their scents, for when Inuyasha got lonely. He didn't tell the pup that he had put them in, Inuyasha would find them for himself. Everything was packed onto Ah-Un ready for Inuyasha's journey, he had gone to say good-bye to the pups who were not fully aware of how long Uncle Yassa wouldn't be around. But Rin and Kagura were waiting with Sesshoumaru for the hanyou to appear; he was late and the Taiyoukai decided to go and fetch him.

Inuyasha had returned to his room to take a last look round and suddenly found he felt hollow inside; he had a huge lump in his throat and he couldn't face anyone until he got himself under control. It didn't matter how much he told himself that he believed Sesshoumaru, when his brother said that he was still wanted in the family; he couldn't help feeling he was being pushed away. Then berating himself for thinking negatively and turning into a right wimp, Inuyasha tried to swallow against the lump; but it wouldn't go away.

A pair of arms wrapped round him from behind and Sesshoumaru spoke very gently to him;

"If you are going to start to cry, I will not let you leave Inuyasha. If you want to stay, just tell me now pup." Inuyasha took a shuddering deep breath; but was unable to stop a couple of traiterous tears from falling onto Sesshoumaru's arms. But he did manage to control himself and he was grateful for his brother's words.

"I'm fine, Sessh, really; Lady Mother will be good to me and I shall do my best to please her."

"You may come home whenever you wish Inuyasha; I have told Mother I am only letting you go with her on that condition and I shall expect a letter monthly at least from you. I have made you a personal seal which will insure that any letter you send will be untampered with or I shall know. It has a charm on it to prevent it being copied. I am not afraid that Mother will interfere with your correspondence, but I do not always trust those in any employ. Should you have need, send Myouga or a letter and I will come for you."

"Thanks Sessh, for everything; lets go." Inuyasha gathered his inner strength and walked towards the courtyard, his head held high; but clutching his precious red cushion that he had snatched up to take as well. Outside Kagura gave him the tightest hug he had ever had and said a choked goodbye before running away in tears, surprising them all with the depth of her feeling; meantime Inuyasha's damp gold eyes locked with Rin's openly wet dark brown, then she too gave him a hug and a quick kiss on his cheek before following after Kagura. Neither wanted to see him actually leave.

"Remember the farewells of these two if you feel unloved Inuyasha and do not dishonour their grief at your departure, by doubting your place in our home."

"I won't Sessh." Inuyasha responded, humbled by the girls' reaction. Then he gazed at Sesshoumaru as the youkai transformed into the huge and elegant white dog who whuffed at him in Inu, telling him to get on. Inuyasha watched as Lady Mother transformed also and understood that Sesshoumaru was going with them to see they arrived safely. He jumped onto Sesshoumaru's back, just behind his head and they lifted into the air and Inuyasha was in a prime position to admire the grace of the Inuyoukai in their natural forms and he felt sad that his own youkai would never have been powerful enough for his sane transformation; let alone a true form.

He rested his head on Sesshoumaru's neck; keeping warm from the cold of the height that they were flying in, which was far higher than he could jump himself even from the tops of the trees. The huge dog was aware of the damp seeping into the fur of his neck but he kept his own counsel this time, he was not expecting the boy to be happy at the moment and he didn't need Sesshoumaru to make a fuss. Plus he was aware that Inuyasha's sorrow was a bit different this time and with the instinct of a parent, he knew the reason; Inuyasha felt inadequate.

Inuyasha fell asleep soon after, he was tired from a nervous exhaustion catching up with him from the past few days; but his breathing was relaxed and deep which was good, Sesshoumaru would not let him fall. Besides Inuyasha had fisted his hands and claws into the soft fur giving himself a good grip; the good instinct of a young inu when being carried, thought his brother fondly.

Inuyasha woke not long before they arrived at the Lady's Palace and Sesshoumaru was pleased with his brother's attitude as he smiled and looked cheerfully around his new temporary home. He was trying to look excited for Lady Mother who was not fooled in the slightest, but pretended she believed him; as she showed him to his suite of rooms. They were spacious and generous, the futon was luxurious and comfortable and so big that Sesshoumaru privately thought that Inuyasha would get lost in it. The Lady left them to say their goodbyes with an invite to Inuyasha to join her for a meal when his brother had gone. Sesshoumaru had already refused to dine as he needed to get back.

It did not take long for the pup to unpack and his brother helped him to arrange his things, neither said much to the other as they did this. Sesshoumaru noticed that Inuyasha had placed everything he'd brought with him in a small area near the futon as if he were making a sort of nest; but he made no comment on this, nor when the boy pulled the futon into the corner of the room. Then Sesshoumaru gave Inuyasha a present; he had not been able to save the fire rat when it had been soiled and it had never been replaced, Inuyasha had not expected it to be so and had taken it's destruction as part of his punishment.

Sesshoumaru had commissioned another to be made; identical in every way to the one his father had given the boy. It was a present and to make Inuyasha feel safer while he was away. Inuyasha was speechless and hugged his brother round the waist, which Sesshoumaru took to mean that the gift pleased him; he then gave over the scent marked items placing them on the futon, before bidding his little brother good-bye. Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to say something so final and just gave a watery smile instead; as Sesshoumaru kissed his forehead and petted his ears, after brushing the tears from his eyelashes which was as far as the pup would let them go.

Sesshoumaru's final view of Inuyasha, was of the pup clutching his cushion and just watching him leave; his eyes huge and golden and looking incredibly young and lost. He had to turn from the sight or he would have snatched the whelp back; no matter what his mother had said, and once again the youkai took to the sky and vanished from his brother's dimming sight.

TBC


	49. Introduction to Society

Ch 49 Introduction to Society

Inuyasha watched Sesshoumaru depart until his eyes couldn't see him anymore and he was scared; not nervous, or apprehensive, not worried or concerned but downright scared. He was suddenly alone in a strange Palace; full of probable hanyou hating youkai, with the female that his own father had betrayed, being the only person he knew. How had he been talked into this state of affairs that was frought with danger? Then he pulled himself together; Sesshoumaru had told him that he would come and get him if there were problems and he was being less than gallant, if he was thinking that Lady Mother had any thought to harm him.

Finally he decided that he should show everyone that he was not only his father's son; but he was also Sesshoumaru's brother and he would hold his head up proudly as he was representing the Western Lands. So why did he feel like snivelling like a tiny whelp, just because he was on his own? There was no logic in it; he'd been used to being alone and fighting to survive without crying all the time, since he was very small. But that was before he had known the love of family and friends; now he truly knew what he was missing, but he would cope as he always did. So after composing himself and freshening up, he rang a bell for someone to show him to the Lady in the dining room.

Head held high, Inuyasha followed the servant taking him to Lady Mother; who greeted him by extending her hand allowing him to take it, to kiss her fingers. Her keen and experienced eyes saw all and she softened her face with a genuine smile of welcome for the forlorn boy. Indicating that he should sit and dine with her; she ordered the servants to bring in the food and having seen often enough what Inuyasha liked to eat, there was plenty to tempt him. The Lady was a most pleasant dinner companion and she was interested in hearing all about Inuyasha's life. She told him that she had known about some of the things that had happened to him, but it was not for her to interfere; even had she wished.

After dinner, Inuyasha was dismissed to his room with promises of an interesting day to come; he was tired and not sorry to crawl into bed, in fact his eyes were so tired that they watered, or at least that is what he told Lady Mother when she came in to check him. She smiled seeing the room almost empty except for a corner where Inuyasha had everything piled up; he was wedged between the wall and his red cushion, she could also scent the rest of his family and knew that somewhere he had keepsakes of them tucked close to him.

"You feel melancholy Little Hanyou." She stated.

"No...Lady Mother, I am fine; my eyes are just gritty from being tired that's all. Thank you."

"I have told you this before Inuyasha, you do not lie very well; you are suffering from what humans know as homesickness."

"Keh! I do not understand."

"It is what your Mama called it, when she badly missed her family and she was feeling sick and miserable; when her throat closed up so much because she wanted to cry, but couldn't. That is how people feel when they are homesick and you child, are homesick." Inuyasha was silent at her comments, feeling strange that his mother had felt the same as he did now; but for different people, it was a new concept to him. Lady Mother came to him and sat down with his head in her lap, stroking his ears and hair.

"I know you will miss your family futon at night, but if you need anything I shall be close at hand."

"Why Lady Mother? Why are you being so kind to me, you have no reason to be so?" Inuyasha was serious and the Lady looked down at him askance and he was greatly reminded of her son.

"I have told you some of the reason why, Inuyasha; but you are correct, there is more to it. Your father and I had arranged that you would both come to live with us again once your mother passed of old age and I would raise you along with Sesshoumaru, as the younger sibling I could not give him. You must understand that although I was angry about your father begetting you, I still loved him and he returned that love; but I was prepared to allow your mother the fifty or so years with him, so that he could fulfil his obligation to you both by protecting you. We had not foreseen the cost of that protection; nor on it being so soon required, on top of his battle with the dragon."

"Does Sessh know all that?"

"He does now, I told him some while ago after he 'adopted' you." She looked in a puzzled way at the nervously laughing Inuyasha. "I am amusing you pup?"

"I was just thinking how I was nearly _your _adopted son; but instead I am your adopted _grandson. _Yet really I only caused you pain."

"No Inuyasha, you have never caused me anguish; only the circumstances that led to you, not you yourself. I am very happy that you are now one of the family." Then she left, after finally telling him to let himself go and get rid of the lump in his throat and the burning behind his eyes. He found however, that he couldn't cry or release the awful tension; the emptiness went too deep and he spent a restless night listening to the strange stillness of Lady Mother's Palace, that lacked the soft and gentle breathing lullaby of his normal sleep companions.

But he was not the only one who felt the lack that night; in the Western Lands, the family futon felt strangely too big without Inuyasha. The smaller pups were restless knowing that he was missing and Rin too felt bereft, as she was normally tucked up next to him; Kagura and Sesshoumaru didn't like the feeling either, their nest was missing one of its pups. The Lord of the land stayed awake too, unable to sleep; he knew that Inuyasha would be miserable and he was powerless to help and as with any parent, it was a feeling that he hated.

The night eventually ended and the two brothers were relieved to see the dawn, albeit many miles apart; but from now on for the next year or so, their lives would be spent in different circles. For Inuyasha, after breakfast he was called to his Lady Mother's suite where she had something of importance to give him and something she wished to change.

"Dear Little Hanyou, I see you did not take my advice last night; I have a favour to ask you child, I wish you to call me Grandmother."

"Lady Mother?"

"I am more your grandmother than mother boy; you are more like Sesshoumaru's son than his brother, in my eyes. Would it concern you to humour me thus?"

"...No, I don't think so, but what of Sesshoumaru; would he not feel it too familiar, I do not want to upset him?"

"It was Sesshoumaru's idea; he felt that you having to call me Lady Mother was far too formal, as if you were on the outside of the family to me. As such is not the case, I was happy to agree."

"Thank you...Grandmother."

"Now, I have something to give to you that was left in my keeping." She moved to a small room set off from one of the bedrooms of her suite and showed Inuyasha a large wooden trunk, decorated with a crest that was only vaguely familiar to him. She went and stroked across the wood and told him that it had been here for many years untouched. "This chest contains items that were given to your father by your maternal grandfather, to serve as your mother's dowry; to be given to the man she would marry. As far as your grandfather was concerned this was just for show, as he believed no human would want to marry a youkai's cast-off; a position she was placed in by her loving relatives."

"These were Mama's things?"

"They were not personal to her, they were a payment; your father felt them an insult to the girl in the circumstances, but they have not been touched since they were catalogued. They belong to you now, they will add to your wealth and there are some things in the chest to offer as gifts to your future mate perhaps."

"I have not got a mate now, Kagome does not know me anymore and she is gone."

"You are far too young to give up on the prospect of a mate Inuyasha."

"I will never find another like Kagome, she alone accepted me without a second thought; I never had to pretend with her, Kagome was to be my mate, she even loved me as a hanyou."

"She was certainly a loving child and she helped you to accept yourself; but she will not be the only one to do so and to be honest, I would rather you found someone who would not try to win every arguement or punish every perceived slight, by causing you more pain via a spell."

"I had been a threat to her Grandmother. I sometimes think she did not fully trust me."

"That is as maybe, but you were not being a threat every time she used the rosary; she was a child with power and sometimes she abused it. You need to find someone who understands the loyalty of the Inu nature better, someone who will understand your previous affections and not blame you for your care of them. She is out there, I promise."

"May I look inside?"

"Of course, it is yours." She gave Inuyasha the key and the morning flew by as the two of them discovered the wealth hidden amongst the fine materials, jewels and rare items that had been his mother's dowry; or bribery for the youkai to keep her, according to his Grandmother. Inuyasha didn't care for the long lost meaning of the chest; just that it was a link to his mother, but Grandmother had something even more special to give him. In another corner of the room was another box; smaller than the chest, but this one contained the personal belongings of Izayoi.

Inuyasha recognised some of these items, hair combs and decorations; makeup and various things that had been familiar to him in his first few years of life. These things he thought destroyed when his mother died; he had only been able to escape with his life and the small shell of lip colour and some ribbons. The Lady explained that she had rescued these items, one of her own household had seen the catastrophe and although he had not seen the tiny hanyou and feared that the child had expired with his mother; he had brought out the belongings of the young woman that he knew had been a pet for his mistress.

Grandmother was prepared for a few tears when Inuyasha was reunited with his mother's possessions; but there were none, he handled the individual items almost reverently, but with no other sign of emotion. He was suppressing his feelings which would not be good if it went on too long; she had seen him when he coped before, by being aggressive and rude and she was not going to have repeats of his old way of life if she could help it. Inuyasha was willing to keep the box and chest where they were for now, in the care of Grandmother. It was going to take a while for the title to seem comfortable to use, but it was becoming easier to think of her as such in his mind.

Lunch was served in the garden and once again Inuyasha could not find fault with the food or the conversation; Grandmother was full of pup stories about Sesshoumaru and even some of his father, as she had known the Inu no Taisho since childhood as well. Then he was free for the afternoon to do as he pleased; everyone of the household knew who he was by now and there would be no trouble and that evening Grandmother wanted him to meet some of her guests that were coming to welcome her out of seclusion.

The gardens were beautiful and Inuyasha could see where the original influence for the Western Palace had come from, but he was lonely with no one to share or play with. The afternoons had been his special times with his brother and he had valued them greatly; besides there was none of the background noise that was now a permanent fixture in the Palace wherever all the pups were, coupled with the gentle laugh of Rin as she either ran after them or was being chased. Inuyasha swallowed the familiar lump and blinked quickly to rid himself of the burn in his eyes; chiding himself for being so stupid, he was no tiny pup.

When he went back to his rooms to prepare for the coming evening, he found that he had a new set of clothes laid out and ready for him to wear after his bath. Two attendents had been provided for him to help him wash up, despite his assistance that he could manage on his own; he had never got used to the idea of just standing while someone scrubbed him clean and he didn't think he ever would, but the Lady was not to be disobeyed. When the bath was over and his hair shone with silver lights, he sat on his cushion to write his first letter home.

He told Sesshoumaru and the family that he missed them but that Grandmother was kind and he had his first dinner party to attend that evening and a new kimono to wear.

There was nothing else to say for the minute, as he didn't want to mention his mother's legacy in a letter. Having used his seal, he asked for the servant to send it to his brother and then with dry hair, he was dressed into his new kimono. Then he saw for the first time the crests embroidered on the obi; he recognised his own crest, the one proclaiming he was the younger Prince of the West, but there also, were Sesshoumaru's and Grandmother's crescent moons. She was admitting a relationship publicly with him; legitamising his existence and he was overwhelmed.

Inuyasha went to the Lady's suite to collect her for the evening and she walked out, resting her hand on his arm. Inuyasha was astounded at her beauty once again; she was regal and dressed impeccably, but fairly simply and it was easy to see how she would captivate any whom she chose. Grandmother could feel the tension in Inuyasha's arm and also feel that his aura was stressed; so she patted his arm and gave him a loving smile, telling him not to be so nervous. She laughed at him when it didn't work; which made him annoyed, that however satisfied her as it put the spark back into his golden eyes that had been missing since he'd arrived.

They entered the Banquet Hall and Inuyasha's face flushed scarlet as all eyes turned to look at them; there seemed to be hundreds of eyes, but in reality it was not a big gathering. Grandmother had decided to start her socialising gradually, with a few of her oldest aquaintances. She did not let go of Inuyasha's arm the whole time that she was making the rounds and she had no qualms about introducing her 'Grandson'. Only one of her friends was heard to wryly comment on the relationship;

"We all know of your mate's hanyou by- blow, we just didn't know the new word for it was grandson." Grandmother was serene as she answered;

"You clearly missed the latest news then, of how Sesshoumaru has adopted the boy almost as if he were his own son. Therefore I am Grandmother to this charming lad, as well as to my other grandchildren."

"But not an actual blood relation. Well, allow me to be the first to congratulate you then and you too Inuyasha; you have landed on your feet haven't you?" His insinuation took a while to register with Inuyasha as he didn't understand; but when he did, his fists clenched and his face flared with heat. But Grandmother squeezed his arm tightly and shook her head slightly, but it took all of Inuyasha's control not to punch the youkai on the nose. She told him that he would hear many such stupid ideas as time went on and he was going to have to learn to ignore them all.

Inuyasha's own fame though had spread and all the guests knew of him and all he had done; many came up to talk to him, some even flirted openly and praised his looks and bravery. The shy hanyou didn't know what to make of it all, he only wanted to escape and if he was honest to go home; if this was a small party what on earth were the bigger ones going to be like? Grandmother had told him that there was going to be a ball at the end of the week and they were to start to travel the next day to reach the castle it was to be held in.

TBC


	50. Time Goes By

Ch 50 Time Goes By

Inuyasha wrote another letter to Sesshoumaru; telling him all about the evening and the fact that he was leaving with Grandmother for somewhere else, because of a ball or feast or something. He mentioned the kimono with the crested obi and he told him that he missed the sounds of the pups playing and his lessons in the afternoon. Then he signed off, after sending all his love and thoughts.

When they prepared to set off later that day, Inuyasha was amazed at the large trunk that had his name on it. He had not brought it with him; not had he enough things to fill it, or so he thought. But when he queried Grandmother, he was told that he would need more clothes for the times they would be away from the Palace. Inuyasha was not too happy that he was not allowed to take any of the things he had brought with him from the Western Lands, they would have to stay in his new rooms. He did however hide the scented mementos in the breast pocket of his new fire rat; which he was allowed to wear on the journey, along with his ball and the ribbons that he'd always carried on his person before.

Grandmother just raised her eyebrows at him, as she too caught the scents; but she didn't forbid him to take them, she was still rather taken aback at seeing him in the fire rat with Tetsusaiga. With his looks and the ensemble, he was reminding her greatly of his father; especially when he would turn and give her a shy smile. Although the days had long passed where she and her mate had been shy with one another; at Inuyasha's age, his father was still naive and a tad unsure. Suddenly the Lady was aware that Inuyasha had asked her a question and when it was repeated, she told him that they would be home before the new moon; she had remembered.

The journey was long and tedious for Inuyasha; cooped up in the carriage was not his idea of travel, he liked to run and jump using the strength and energy of his own legs. But apparently that was not the civilised way for Lord's and Ladies to arrive anywhere and now that Inuyasha was the younger Prince of the Western Lands, he had to learn decorum. This was just another thing he did not understand; to his eyes there was nothing more graceful and elegant than seeing his brother and Grandmother in their true forms soaring across the sky. She laughed at the image; but said that she too privately agreed with him, but that was the way their world worked and so he was sat with her, unless they travelled through the wilder land and then he could run outside.

The route they travelled was covering familiar ground to Inuyasha, as he and his group had covered most of Japan in their search for shards and Naraku; but he hadn't known at the time that there were so many concealed youkai strongholds around, hidden behind barriers of various sorts. The majority of high youkai kept well away from the human settlements, not advertising their presence; most had no need to have contact in any case. After a couple of days travel, they arrived at their destination and were soon settling into the suite of rooms provided.

At first Inuyasha was shown to the servants quarters, the mistake happening because he was helping to unload the baggage; another thing he did wrong apparently. He should have left it to the hired underlings; Grandmother shook her head indulgently at him when he was finally shown to his room, the host apologising profusely at a highly embarrassed hanyou. The host was not happy at being put into this position either, he was above such a lowly creature; but this fact only added to Grandmother's amusement.

It seemed usual in society that the early part of the day was wasted, as eveyone kept to their rooms in preparation for the long night of partying ahead. This did not suit the active hanyou; who once again got into potential trouble by exploring the grounds, running and jumping into the trees to see where he was. The Tiger Youkai who was the castle's owner had to quickly go to sort out the disturbance that Inuyasha had caused, disturbing his own routine. Inuyasha had been treed by some of the guards who were circling beneath, intimidating the boy with dire threats if he didn't come down.

He, of course was telling them what he would do to them should they make him angry, using the coarsest language he knew; this was only the first day too, Grandmother thought when the Tiger brought Inuyasha back personally to the Lady. He even commented that he hoped that she knew just what she had got into, by keeping the hanyou near to her. Inuyasha's ears were by now flat to his head, he was sure that he was in trouble with his Grandmother and he had truly wanted to please her and not be a disappointment.

But Grandmother was smiling and she gave him a most welcome hug, petting his hair and scratching the base of his ears making them perk upright again.

"You my dear Little Hanyou, are going to be such a breath of fresh air to all the old stuffy creatures you are going to meet; I am going to be vastly amused."

"Feh!" He crossed his arms and Grandmother laughed. In the afternoon, she had arranged for him to be able to work off some energy by sparring with some of the Tiger's trainers; this served several purposes apart from keeping the boy occupied. It also showed anyone who would be watching, that Inuyasha was a most able swordsman and that the tales of his deeds were not exaggerated; in case anyone got ideas about eliminating him and there would be many younger guests who would be entranced at seeing the young and handsome hanyou, excercising.

It worked out better than she had hoped; Inuyasha had soon collected quite a crowd, as once again his fame preceded him. Soon an impromptu sparring contest was taking place between the younger males, while the females were the most encouraging of spectators. Inuyasha had fun, once he'd got over the suspicion that they were really after his blood and his surprise that his hanyou status didn't seem to matter to these younger youkai. In fact he was the star of the show, because even though all the youkai were thoroughly trained; Inuyasha had the benefit of experience and his unique moves were greatly appreciated by his audience.

He also endeared himself to many of them, male and female by his modesty; he was not showing off in arrogance, merely demonstrating and was genuinely surprised at the interest he generated. The time went by quickly and soon, parents were heard calling to their offspring and the crowd began to disperse; but not before they all made arrangements to see one another at the ball and agreed to come to the training grounds again the next day. When Inuyasha came back to his rooms, Grandmother was pleased to see the sparkle in his eyes and the flushed cheeks around the happy smile and she listened gladly to his news as he got himself ready for the evening ball.

Once again, their entrance was seen by all as they came through the doors, Inuyasha in midnight blue silk and the Lady in a sky blue and silver. They were a beautiful pair and the compliments were many and loud. As were the murmers of how strange the idea was, that the result of a mate's indiscretion was now the escort of the widow. Inuyasha's ears burned at some of the things he was overhearing, but Grandmother smiled and ignored any crass remark that came her way. She was proud to introduce her Grandson, sometimes explaining how he came to be in that role and sometimes not; but by the end of the meal, all knew who Inuyasha was if they hadn't to start with.

The dancing was strange and new to Inuyasha; at first he wouldn't join in, prefering to stand near the wall if Grandmother had been whisked away by someone to talk or to dance. She knew so many people and was laughing and joking gently with everyone it seemed. But towards the middle of the dancing, a little group of youngsters came over to speak to him. They were some of those he'd met earlier in the day and were friendly and soon they were all joking and starting to dance together, pulling Inuyasha along and showing him what to do. Grandmother watched all the goings on from the corner of her eye and smiled secretly to herself; she too would be writing a letter of her own to Sesshoumaru.

That evening was exciting for Inuyasha, he had made new friends which was something he hadn't thought possible and the time had gone quickly; but the night was long and lonely still and he was tucked into a huge futon with none of his own belongings near except the scented keepsakes and he longed to feel the closeness of his family around. Grandmother had missed nothing that happened and as she sat to write her letter to her son; she made sure to include the fact that although Inuyasha was himself still oblivious to the fact, many of the girls were flirting with him and he was having a good time.

The rest of that visit went well for Inuyasha, the group of younger youkai were often together and there were picnics and games during the days and lantern lit garden dances in the evenings. Sometimes the older youkai would join in to see the enjoyments and to keep a parental eye on the goings on and several invites were given to him to visit his new friends at their own homes. Inuyasha didn't quite believe in these invites; but Grandmother said that he would be attending some of them anyway, as she too was going. But it was now time for them to return to her own home, the new moon was not far off and she had promised Inuyasha that he would be safe under her roof when the time came.

As they reached home early in the morning, after several days of more stuffy travelling; Inuyasha could feel his youki start to wane, he would lose it gradually until he was completely human and he hated it every time. He was more grumpy and moody with everyone, eventually hiding himself in his room and staying there; Grandmother wisely left him alone. Inuyasha sat up all night, as he used to do everytime he was human and in a strange place or on his own; but it had been a few years now since he had done so. His family all knew of course, his night of mortality and he had been able to sleep normally tucked up with the others; however he was on his own now, Grandmother wouldn't draw any attention to him by changing her own routine to accomodate his.

After the novelty and excitement of his time away, he felt crushed being human; how many of his new friends would want to be near him if they knew of this? He realised that Sesshoumaru would say true friends would not mind or care and he also knew that to be true; after all it didn't matter to Sango, Miroku, Shippou or his family anymore.

But he was lonely still, he couldn't scent his keepsakes and he was jumping at shadows because none of his senses worked properly; plus to cap it all, he was homesick again.

He imagined them all in the Western Palace, having their meal and the stories for the small pups; then the gentle and soft whisperings as they all settled down for the night and before they went to sleep, Rin's giggles, Kagura's quiet laugh and finally Sesshoumaru's firm _'enough now, time to sleep pups.' _Safety and love together, so precious and he would never take it for granted; no one could ever really know the complete depth of Inuyasha's gratitude that he now had all that and he really missed them all.

The lump that had been growing in his throat was threatening to choke him and his eyes burned harshly; but he pushed them away and decided to pass some time by writing to his brother. That would allay the feeling of being so far apart. His writing told of the friends he had been so surprised to make and the invitations to visit; of the grandeur he had seen and the boring journey by carriage and horse, instead of by foot and tree. The tears he didn't realise had fallen to the paper, told his brother of the lonely night of humanity and the heavy heart missing his loved ones.

The night passed and the dawn returned, as did his youki; Inuyasha revelled in the strength of his power and senses once again and as always he was ready for his breakfast. The letter to Sesshoumaru had already gone; taken from outside his door where he had left it to be retrieved. At the morning meal, there was a letter and a small parcel for him; it was the first time anyone had written to him ever and although he knew it was from home, he couldn't have been more pleased and with permission he took it to his rooms to read.

There were loving messages from Kagura and Rin, telling of the things that were happening and how well the pups were growing; new things they said and did, little things that Papa wouldn't think to write. Sesshoumaru's letter was more formal but still managed to convey warmth of feeling; admonishing him to heed Grandmother's advice at all times, but reminding him too that should he wish, he only had to say to come home. Also enclosed were scribbles done by the twins and a picture from Yuki that he had signed and was of him and Uncle Yassa playing with orange snowballs. Finally in the package was another painting done by Rin, of the whole family including himself; neatly framed to match his other one. She had merely written on a slip of paper with it; _'we miss you'._

Finally the fragile barrier broke and Inuyasha flung himself face down on his cushion and sobbed loudly; he couldn't stop it though he tried, he had bottled everything up for some time and could hold on no longer. The simple messages so full of love, cut through his heart like a knife and he wished he was home; but he had already determined that he would not let Grandmother down and he would not ask to go home before the year was up. But it was a long time before his tears stopped; even after the storm had passed, they flowed without letup.

Though he felt better once he had himself under control and the hard lump in his throat had gone, he didn't feel confident enough just yet to leave his room and he couldn't look at his messages again without his eyes starting to leak. No one had come near him or his rooms, the Palace seemed empty so he didn't feel guilty or embarrassed that he'd disturbed the normal tranquility by his uncontrolled outburst of sadness. In fact it was several hours later that he heard someone come and slide open his door; Grandmother had brought his tea to him personally and joined him at his table.

"Do you feel better now my Little One? May I see your letters? Perhaps we could share, I too have some of my Grandpup's artwork."

"Of course. ...How did you know?" Then he felt stupid, of course she would know; she could smell the salt still heavy in the air, where they had saturated into his cushion. She smiled and went to get a damp cloth to bathe Inuyasha's face.

"You left a few clues. But besides, you had just received a letter from home and you are homesick; you have been swallowing your sorrow and all it needed was a trigger and two plus two make four. I left you alone so that you could feel less inhibited. Do not feel bad about it, I am a mother; I know these things."

"Sessh was never so weak as me."

"It is not weakness to miss those you love and who love you and Sesshoumaru is no different in that respect. There was one time when he and his friend Shingi left home for the first time to train on campaign. They were a long way from home and both were positively miserable for the first couple of months. All the boys were at one point or another and even your Father wrote a tearful letter to his mother when he was young and it was his turn to be sent away; so there is no shame, do you understand?" The Lady was touched as Inuyasha came and gave her a hug and kissed her cheek, he had never been so bold before; always needing to be invited to do so.

The time passed; but even though she had promised to take him home for visits, they did not come about as there was always somewhere else they had to be. Over the months there were more balls and picnics; more visits to old friends further afield and more time on the road. There had had to be a compromise too over Inuyasha's vulnerable time and Grandmother had entrusted the care of Inuyasha to her chief bodyguard on the moonless nights; as more than once, they were too far from the Palace to reach home in time.

Life was a social whirl and Inuyasha became proficient at dancing and understanding that words could be powerful. He had always known that words could hurt but he learned to listen to _how_ things were said not just what was said. He was becoming popular; even having a wicked sense of humour ,as he was very observant and not just with the younger crowd who he kept meeting and could now be called friends. Their parents too had grown to accept the unpolished young hero and the whispers and innuendos were far fewer now; to all intents and purposes he was the Grandson of the Lady.

There were a couple of the girls who he really liked and who liked him right back; they were fun to be with and good at introducing the still shy hanyou to anybody new, that he met. Although he was not aware of it completely, he knew that he was considered attractive; realising that some were drawn to him because of that and not because of who he was. But his former life had taught him to not be fooled by beauty and his feet were firmly planted in the knowledge, that it was more important to be loyal and truthful rather than handsome. He remembered the hanyou Jinenji who although not the most good looking of creatures was kind and considerate to a fault; compared to some of the most beautiful youkai who had been the most cruel, Sesshoumaru among them in the past.

The letters that he sent back were now full of details about his life and Sesshoumaru could tell that Inuyasha was becoming more self assured and self accepting, for which he was grateful; but he was not being spoiled and that too, his brother was thankful for. It was difficult for him to not have the input he had become used to with Inuyasha and the whole family missed the boy; but he felt the loss most keenly, having taken him under his wing as he should always have done, Sesshoumaru's instincts just wanted his pup back.

However for all the light and glory that was Inuyasha's life now, there was also a dark side that he had told to no one. Four or five times now around the moonless night, Grandmother had been away for a few days. This was to take away suspicion from the new moon and also she thought that Inuyasha didn't always wish to go with her to her more local friends. But someone had found out, someone who hated him and came in disguise; knowing that his senses didn't work as well, someone who pulled the human boy from his rooms to the woods and beat him badly then left him, where any scent of tears or blood would dissipate in the air and be gone long before the Lady returned.

In the morning he would heal; the damage was designed to hurt, more than cause lasting damage as the youkai was careful to only use his fists. Then Inuyasha would return and act as though nothing had happened; it was nothing new to him and he just assumed that he was resented for some reason. The bullying youkai always told him to go back where he had come from, before slapping his face brutally and leaving him. He would not go whining to Grandmother and give the youkai the satisfaction of knowing that he had won; Inuyasha had his pride, besides he had always coped alone before.

TBC


	51. Plans and Schemes

Ch 51 Plans and Schemes

For a couple of months Inuyasha had a reprieve on the night he was human, Grandmother stayed at home and had guests come to her; but it didn't stop the human from sitting up all night trying not to shake, especially when he heard whispering outside his room telling him to go home with an evil chuckle. But in between times nobody bothered him, in fact quite the contrary since he had taken to riding shotgun on his Grandmother's carriage. They had been attacked on one of their expeditions by a very strong band of youkai who had seemed to think that the Lady was travelling unescorted, except for her guards.

They had almost been overwhelmed by numbers until Inuyasha joined the fray with his claws and Sankon Tessou to tip the balance. Of course once they reached their destination, he had been hailed as a hero once again and his following increased dramatically; Grandmother also made the most of it for his sake too, retelling quite a few times how the Little Hanyou had protected her honour. Most of her aquaintance knew that she was quite capable of defending herself, but was bolstering the confidence of her Grandson.

The visit took a different turn this time; the dancing and entertainments were very similar to those Inuyasha had been to before, but this one was a betrothal party for the Lord's son. At such gatherings it was customary for others to take the opportunity to pair up and sometimes the parents got together to make more permanant plans for their children. They were exciting times for those who wished to find a mate and settle down; for Inuyasha however it was puzzling and he looked around at his friends, many of whom were paired up and just seemed interested in each other.

When he commented on the fact, his two female companions laughed and told him that most had been betrothed as small children; cementing family ties or regional alliances. They got to know one another at these arrangements long before they were old enough to start their lives together. Some however like the two girls and some of the others were free to choose who and when, with their parents overseeing from a distance. Inuyasha realised that his Father and the Lady had been betrothed as pups, but had spent many years growing up together before they mated.

They had not chosen that road for Sesshoumaru however; prefering that he have the right of choice for his mate. Inuyoukai mated for life and even though his own father had been unfaithful to Grandmother; it had not been casual and he would have returned to her, once his duty to Izayoi had been seen through. Some youkai though were not monogamous by nature and mated for one or two seasons only; unless there were offspring, in which case the pairing would stay together until the children had grown.

Inuyasha himself had been shown much interest despite being a hanyou, he was strong and brave and had the Lady as his patron; already there were rumours that he might be named her heir. Sesshoumaru had inherited the West from his Father obviously; he did not need more land or riches and that led the way for the young, so called Grandson. It was not an inconceivable idea and had been discussed a lot; Inuyasha himself had heard it but took no notice, he had learned about the emptiness of gossip and besides it was nobody's business what Grandmother decided, not even his.

Of course the Lady too had heard of the rumours; she had even anticipated them and discussed them with Sesshoumaru. He was not bothered about whom she named heir and neither was Inuyasha, who didn't feel he had any claim on her at all. All this she knew and loved both boys the more for it; it was not all parents who could claim that their children loved them selflessly.

Grandmother was highly amused at the antics of the unattached females flocking around Inuyasha and the other batchelors, when they all met up for the evening; it seemed like each was trying to outdo the others in dress and hairstyling. The makeup had increased and the perfumes that were made to compliment the individual, were wafting up in the warm air as if they too were trying to best each other. She smirked when her Grandson appeared unaffected by any of the girls specifically, treating them all the same and as he normally did.

The boy was still naive, he may have known two miko's and been prepared to mate them both at seperate times, but it was clear to her that he was not yet mature and hadn't been made fully aware of what being a mate or husband entailed. He only knew that he had had feelings of love for both mikos that had prompted him to want to live with them, partly to quell the loneliness of his life. Had he been fully nurtured in the youkai household as he should have been, he would only just be getting to know what girls were. As it was, his body was not yet awakened to the more carnal urges of an adult male; but that would come soon enough. The girls he was partying with were still just friends and Grandmother would know exactly when that changed.

As of the moment though it was sheer entertainment watching them all vying for his attention and he being unaware of their intentions. In actual fact, Inuyasha was not totally clueless when it came to the girls; he knew they were competing around him, he'd had enough experience with Kagome and Kikyou and it was that that helped him not to fuss with one more than the other. All he knew for certain was, that he didn't like all the makeup and 'over the top' dressing up; it hid the girls' true faces and made them all look as if they were wearing masks, but again he had enough experience to keep _that _thought to himself as well.

Grandmother sighed, it looked like Inuyasha would not choose anyone this year; but the experiment had not been a failure. He had made lots of new friends outside his family and ones that would live as long as he did; a concern of Sesshoumaru had been that Inuyasha would outlive his human friends while he himself would still not have reached his majority. The pup was more self confident too, not in his prowess with the sword or claw; but in his ability to be liked and to have these friends. He was still engagingly shy and modest, but not affectedly so.

All in all, it had been a good year so far for the boy; but it would be soon time for him to return home, just a couple more months and she would take him back. The Lady was no fool; she knew that although Inuyasha had enjoyed a great deal of his time away, he was longing to return to his family and it was only his desire to please her that kept him from running back himself. The brash and rude hanyou that had been born from needing to keep his heart protected from all the hurt and disappointments he'd been used to; had mainly disappeared.

The true Inuyasha, the gentle loving pup that Izayoi had birthed and known and whom Naraku and Kikyou had nearly killed, was more confident now in being seen again. The Lady knew that the more aggressive side to Inuyasha was nowhere near gone though and could be called on instantly when he was needed. That was how it should be she thought; but it was a good sign of his security and growing maturity that he now tried to think, before he acted. Although that night, when someone crept to his room and tried to slit his throat there was no time to think and Inuyasha reacted speedily with instinct; slicing through the intruder's own neck with his claws.

The assassin had obviously not seen the hanyou in action before and didn't realise that even when he was sleeping, Inuyasha was aware; his ears were like radar that caught every nuance of sound and alerting his brain when something was wrong. Years of survival against the odds, had not left the pup undefended when he seemed vulnerable. Someone had not done their homework and the cat was dead.

Horror at the attack on a guest was genuine and no one could think of a reason why someone should try to kill Inuyasha, which astounded the hanyou who could think of the obvious; but no one else seemed to pick up on that. Which led the boy to think that perhaps he was so accepted now, that him being a halfbreed wasn't a problem anymore. The idea gained momentum that perhaps the cat youkai was trying to get rid of Grandmother's guard in Inuyasha, to try to rob her afterwards; they had been attacked before, a widow travelling on her own with only the young grandson should have been easy pickings.

Grandmother kept her own counsel on the idea; but was pleased that Inuyasha was once again feted as the brave lad he was. The girls were even more clingy to him for the rest of the visit; hanging off his arms and in general not letting him out of their sight. This was annoying to him; but the adults all seemed to think it cute and amusing if he growled at them to let him alone. In the end he was glad when the time came to go again; for the next two months Grandmother had promised him that they would stay at home for which he was glad, he had his possessions there and never liked being away from them.

They had been back a week when Grandmother once again left him to visit neighbours over the new moon. Inuyasha was writing to Sesshoumaru as he usually did on the moonless night; when his antagonist took advantage of the Lady's absence, to rip the boy from the room and into the woods. This time he beat Inuyasha very severely, to the point where bones were broken and the boy had passed out from the pain. But before he fell into the blackness he heard the youkai mutter that he was _'in the way and should_ _have gone home long ago'._

Inuyasha came round some time later unable to move and feeling faint and dizzy, hoping that the nausea he felt wouldn't make him be sick as he couldn't fully support himself to deal with it. As he lay there unable to move; he could still think and he remembered the words he'd heard before he passed out. It would appear then that he was not being beaten by a hanyou hating youkai just because he was a hanyou; but because he was in someone's way. But for what? He spent the next hours fighting the faint, sick feelings and thinking.

Myouga came to him as usual when he was human; he had witnessed all the mistreatment but had been forbidden by Inuyasha to speak of these beatings to Sesshoumaru, he did not want to be considered weak by his brother and he was always healed when his youki returned. As he'd said before to Myouga, this treatment was nothing new. This time however, he needed to sound out some possibilities with the flea. He had a sinking feeling that his Grandmother was in danger; therefore he would not be going home to the West, until he had made sure she was safe. The youkai would undoubtably give himself away in some way and now that Inuyasha knew to listen out for clues, he would catch him unawares.

Creeping back healed but exhausted in the morning, Inuyasha crawled into bed; it would not be long before his youki refreshed him totally, but it had been used a lot for healing and lack of sleep was not helpful. Still he was safe as a hanyou so far; he could look after himself, which his tormenter knew well as the coward only attacked and hurt him badly when he was human. Inuyasha however was even more determined not to be driven away, he had come to the conclusion that perhaps someone was scared that he would be named heir; someone who may have ambitious designs themselves, perhaps even wishing to gain the Lady as well.

Myouga had to agree that Inuyasha could very well be right and was impressed at his power of deduction; although he was one of the few who knew that Inuyasha had always been highly intelligent, even when he rarely showed it. Myouga kept watch over his young master as the boy slept; his anger at the treatment Inuyasha had suffered was hardly containable in his tiny body and he ached with the fact that the only comfort he could offer, was by his presence so that the hanyou was not alone.

Over the next couple of weeks, Inuyasha learned nothing more pertaining to the fact that someone was after his Grandmother. On the other hand Sesshoumaru learned a lot and his blood boiled; it took a lot of calming by an equally angry but more controlled Kagura, to stop her mate from transforming and going to slaughter all the staff at his mother's Palace. Myouga had finally defied Inuyasha and gone to Sesshoumaru; giving him details of the treatment the pup had received on the moonless nights, that had been carrying on for nearly seven months on and off.

Myouga barely escaped with his life from Sesshoumaru's fury either; the youkai was the closest he had ever really been to killing the small retainer for not telling him earlier, when the beating happened the very first time. Then he reigned in his anger and listened to what had happened this last time, that was so different, it had determined Myouga to disobey Inuyasha. This time he allowed his anger to grow cold and icy, knowing that it helped him think more clearly and become more deadly.

Myouga had told him that the youkai who was hurting Inuyasha was also poisoning him; slowly killing him and causing more pain to the human. It was odourless but not tasteless and Myouga had found it when he noticed the change in Inuyasha's blood. Inuyasha didn't know this; as it was the first time it had happened, but he had felt the effects and Myouga thought it was designed to stay active even when the pup returned to being a hanyou in the morning. He was tired and sleepy still, when he got back and slept in the morning; which was unheard of for Inuyasha.

The news called for some careful planning and Sesshoumaru wrote to his mother determining a course of action. It had to be someone from within her household and when she received the letter, she called Myouga to hear for herself what had been happening to Inuyasha. She agreed that it would be better if Inuyasha was not told of their knowledge as yet; he could find out when they acted as the less he knew, the less his assailant knew. Therefore all it caused Inuyasha was frustration, as he could get no further with his investigation; because Grandmother kept him busy with her all the time.

She wanted help with choosing new fabrics for kimonos or for chair coverings and it seemed that everywhere she went, it was imperative that he go as well. They went to markets near and far and spent days just in special furniture houses; it seemed that Grandmother wanted a complete overhaul of the Palace decor. In fact he hardly left her side until the day before the new moon; when she once again was off visiting friends. Suddenly Inuyasha felt lonely and even wished she had taken him with her; he knew what was going to happen and the thought scared him, although he wouldn't admit it to his hanyou self.

He used the following day to see any who might be giving him more attention than usual, but there was no one that obvious and as his youki waned, he couldn't be sure of anybody's scent. So he went to his room to catch up on his studies and waited until the inevitable happened; when the sun left the sky and someone came to drag him to the woods again. Inuyasha felt himself shaking already and hated his human body for being such a traitor to him; he had never shown enemies when he was afraid, but this was becoming too much, anticipation was frightening too sometimes.

He started to write his letter home; hoping that it would take his mind off what was to come and for a while it did as he complained about all the time it had taken in the boring and tedious, fabric and furniture hunting. In fact he was so absorbed, that he didn't notice until he was being pulled through the door that he was no longer alone. The youkai slapped him hard across the face, raking it lightly with his claws as he left the insidious poison behind in their wake. By the time he had dragged Inuyasha to the woods, the human was already showing the bruises of several punches that included a black eye, split lip and a broken arm.

Inuyasha was whimpering and trying to hold himself together; the youkai was strong and a bully, he enjoyed it more if he could make Inuyasha break down so that he could call him weak and ineffectual. He raised his arm to hit the boy again, when an arc of shining youki came whistling through the air and cut off his hand at the wrist and he found himself suddenly held aloft by the neck; in the powerful jaws of one of his own kind. Meantime Inuyasha had been caught by Kagura who was aloft on her feather; she had cast her attack and then shot down to catch the boy, who she now held close to her, mindful of his injuries and in a grip too firm for him to be able to move.

TBC


	52. Home Again

Ch 52 Home Again

The captured youkai was transferred from the jaws of one huge dog to the jaws of another, with a deep growl of command in Inu that he should be killed instantly should he try to engage his own youki to transform. Shingi growled out that it would be a pleasure to do so and let his fangs clamp down a little harder on the neck bringing the blood to the surface and a yelp from the youkai.

"Hmmph, not so brave now are you; coward?" He growled, "You can use your strength only on a defenceless pup; you really are dross." Shingi was interrupted by another snout taking an interest in the still disguised prey; although she had no difficulty in identifying her chief bodyguard,

"Sesshoumaru, take care of my Little Hanyou." Her ladyship too, spoke in Inu and then turned her attention to the prisoner. "So Inuyasha was correct, you felt you had a chance to gain power over my lands, by taking me as mate. He would have been in your way should I choose him as my heir. What ever possessed _you_ to think I would choose such as you, to replace my son's father?" She transformed to her humanoid shape again. "You could not hope to fill his shoes ever." Her tone was haughty. "I have always known you had delusions of power, but up till now you have had adequate control over the men. I trusted you with Inuyasha's secret and you have more than abused that trust. I wash my hands of you and give you to the boy's parents to deal with."

"You would raise your deceased mate's hanyou bastard over a true Inuyokai who has served you well and deserves more than just payment for duty. I do not want you; it is my brother who desires you, but he has no ambition. You would have warmed his bed well however and he would have been most appreciative of my gift." His sneering voice incensed them all, but turned their anger cold and calculating; if the youkai had had hopes of a quick death because anger would have had him killed, he was mistaken.

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru had gone over to Kagura who was still supporting Inuyasha; he sniffed all over the human boy much to Inuyasha's embarrassement and Kagura's amusement, then he licked all over his brother's face. Inuyasha tried to move out of the way but to no avail; his face was washed of all the blood and tears in a couple of swipes with Sesshoumaru's tongue, followed by the cleaning of any other of his hurts. When he started to complain, Sesshoumaru glared at him and growled deeply and Inuyasha knew that he would just have to put up with it; his brother's saliva would help him to heal.

Once Sesshoumaru was satisfied that he had done all he could for the moment to neutralise the poison that had seeped into Inuyasha's blood stream, by clearing his wounds and pushing in his own antidote which should help even if the poison was different to his own; he re-took his humanoid shape. Despite his attentions, Inuyasha looked too pale and was on the edge of passing out again as he tried to hold his broken arm immobile. After asking Kagura to get the boy back to the Western Palace and the healers; he turned to Shingi who still had the prisoner by the neck and told him to take him to the dungeons.

Then he and his mother walked back to her home; as they entered the main hall, the Lady made an announcement to the effect that Inuyasha had left and the reasons why. Several of the servants were clearly horrified and begged Sesshoumaru to convey their sorrow at what had happened to the young hanyou; he nodded in answer and then told them that he had taken the bodyguard home to question him. Then he bade his mother goodnight and left.

Soon after Sesshoumaru left, so did several other members of the Lady's household; they were afraid that if the bodyguard 'talked' he would give away those who were in collusion with him, all who'd been promised a _'slice of the pie'._ These were ones who'd also turned a blind eye to the torture that Inuyasha had been put through and were now afraid of what the pup's brother would do, should he get hold of them. As it happened they found out; as they tried to escape they were all caught by members of the elite guard who were waiting for them. Sesshoumaru had expected any accomplices to run; like rats deserting a sinking ship and they were held until the morning of the next day.

They were there when Sesshoumaru brought back their leader and used his poison to inject him and then they had to watch as Kagura sliced him apart with her Dance of Blades. Sesshoumaru was proud of her; she had been so angry at the abuse of her pup, he had had to make sure she waited for the kill, as she'd wanted to execute him immediately. The accomplices now faced the same fate for their treachery against Grandmother; only it was the Lady who unleashed her poison, showing from whom Sesshoumaru had inherited it. However it was Kagura who finished them off; their bodies being left to finish dissolving and then burned.

When Inuyasha had been taken back to the Western Palace, Kagura carried him to his bed not allowing any to take him from her; then she undressed him carefully and put him into the bath to wash him clean of the residue of Sesshoumaru's saliva. His arm was held in a splint and he came round long enough to object, but Kagura merely carried on with what she was doing; drying him off and putting him straight into the bed. But it was to Rin he woke up later; she was now very knowledgeable about herbs and medicines, well able to treat and diagnose any condition.

Inuyasha was still pale and was running a fever and Rin had mixed herbs to counter the poison still undiluted by Sesshoumaru's antidote. She was calm and spoke to him soothingly; her hands were gentle and capable, making him feel safe even though he was human. She smoothed his forehead, her hand combing through his fringe and she was strong enough to help him sit; leaning him against her so that he could drink the water or medicine she offered. Rin also knew to make herself scarce when Sesshoumaru and Kagura came in to see him, sitting herself unobtrusively in a corner.

Kagura sat on the edge of the futon and held her arms open to the human boy; who threw himself into them, crying in relief that he was home again and that he'd been spared another complete night of pain. She folded him to her, equally relieved to have him back where he belonged; even as she threatened him with the hard wooden edge of her fan if he _ever_, **ever **let something like that happen again without letting them know.

"I shall have Myouga telling me about you, if you ever carried out that threat my love." remarked Sesshoumaru, as he stroked the back of Inuyasha's head. "Besides you would have to wait until I had dealt with him. Inuyasha, I swear if you keep something so serious to yourself again, I shall personally make sure you cannot sit for a week."

With that threat he too sat on the bed and took both mate and pup in his arms to hold them safe. Inuyasha knew that the threats were made out of their concerned anger at him for what had happened, because he had tried to deal with it on his own; but he felt loved and safe because he knew they cared.

He could feel it in the circle of their arms that held him tightly; the hands that petted him and the gentle rocking, calming him as he cried. He was so pleased to be home and they were just as glad to have him back and finally Inuyasha fell asleep; his head on Kagura's breast and held tightly like one of the small pups. He didn't know when he was put back into the futon, only that the next time he woke it was morning and his youki had returned; but weakly, the poison had taken it's toll. Rin was still there monitoring his progress and ready to offer what he needed.

She had bathed his wounds keeping the poison at bay by not letting the skin heal over too soon and trapping the vile stuff to do more damage and it had the added effect of keeping his temperature from shooting up too high. Rin was the only one he saw that day as she nursed him back to health; Sesshoumaru and Kagura were dealing with the criminals over at his mother's Palace. He made her laugh when he suddenly reddened completely and she rushed for the water to cool him down; only to find it was a blush that caused the colour, as he realised he was naked beneath the sheet.

Not only had Rin been nursing him like that, Kagura and Sesshoumaru had comforted him during the night and he remembered that she had bathed him too. Rin laughed and asked when he had become so shy; besides she was used to the unclothed body, she had seen a fair few since she had taken to healing.

"You've not seen me though; I don't parade for no one." He sounded upset and she changed tack immediately, remembering that he had not been brought up with youkai who had no prudery over the body but by humans who did; not only that he had been made to feel that he was a freak, an abomination for much of his life. She stopped laughing and turned his face to look him in the eyes.

"I know, but you have been ill and needed nursing; so no nonsense and what I say goes Inuyasha, while you are recovering and I don't intend to fight you to help you." She was firm and he recognised some of Sesshoumaru's tones in her voice; so he subsided with a _'Feh!' _Later that day Rin decided he needed a bath to freshen up and to make sure the poison was completely gone. She gave him the option of one of the male bathing attendants bathing him, or doing it himself while she stayed to make sure he was not going to pass out again.

Inuyasha chose the latter option, he would rather bathe himself and he was more comfortable now with Rin; she didn't make him feel on edge anymore and wouldn't laugh at him, she had seen him before and he found he didn't mind. The bath was wonderful, just what he needed and he felt his true strength returning; Rin washed his hair for him making sure that it was free of debris from the wood and then as she dried it, she kept combing to keep it tangle free. She stayed for lunch with him and when Sesshoumaru and Kagura came to see him later that afternoon, they found Inuyasha had dozed off to sleep with his head in Rin's lap; as she was stroking his forehead and humming pup songs to him.

They both looked very comfy and the two youkai decided to leave Inuyasha with Rin until he awoke naturally; although they shared a questioning look with each other as suddenly like lightning, the same thought crossed their minds. Inuyasha awoke in time for the evening meal and no food had tasted so good to him now he was home; although he had a pretty blush when he realised that Rin had baked his favourite biscuits again, just as she had used to do years ago when he had needed cheering up. He smiled his thanks at her and saw with surprise, her own blush spread gently across her cheeks and nose.

That night too was one of the best he had known as he was crushed almost painfully, between his brother and Kagura; both were relieved to have the pup back in the nest and the tangle of arms and legs of all the pups kicking against one another was wonderful.

"I don't want to go away again Sessh, please; I missed all this so much it hurt." He snuggled further into Sesshoumaru's chest and clutched Rin closer, as if someone were going to snatch him away.

"Hush pup, no one will do anything you don't want again; this is your home and family for as long as you want us. Now sleep young one, you still need to rest." Sesshoumaru however stayed awake guarding his family and checking for the signs of change. So far there were none; but he realised with a shock that his human Rin, although she would never grow old thanks to the youki that was bequeathed her; had reached full maturity in mind and body. She must now be in her early twenties in fact; which made her old for her race, to be without mate and children. However she was still an innocent; her body not yet awakened to it's desires, any more than Inuyasha had...yet.

In the morning, the small pups realised that Inuyasha was back and in the futon with them again; Yuki jumped on him immediately when he saw his uncle's golden eyes open. The twins were a little more shy, as a year in their little lives was still a long time; but soon they joined Yuki, of the two Jasumin was usually the bolder but she was not far ahead of Kintenpi this time in welcoming their beloved Yassa.

After playing with the pups for a while, Inuyasha spent the morning in getting used to the Palace again; saying hello to the staff and visiting with Kaede. He was shocked to see the signs of age on her face as she welcomed him warmly.

"Ah, child; I have missed thee and thy visits, as have the rest of the family. Are ye glad to be back or do ye miss the bright lights?" She looked up at him with love in her eyes, he had been around for most of her life in one way or another and she had missed seeing him for the entire year. She knew of course of the circumstances leading to his return and she too had been angered, feeling that they deserved all they got at Sesshoumaru and Kagura's hands.

"Keh! It's good to be home. How are you Kaede? My brother treating you right eh, not being too much of a bastard is he? You're not left on your own too much?"

"Inuyasha for shame, I am very well treated and thy brother's family is most attentive as well ye know ." She chided.

"Feh!

"Ye missed thy home and thy brother, did ye not Inuyasha? It was a long year to be away; have ye recovered from the cruelty ye suffered?"

"Of course, like anyone could hurt me." Kaede just lifted her eyebrows at him and he had the good grace to smile, abashed. "Yeah, I'm O.K. now."

"Aye, Rin has been a good student; she has a knack for knowing which herbs and potions will work. Jinenji and I are very proud of her." Watching the blush stealing across his face, she was puzzled for a moment and then she smiled to herself at the irony. Wisely however, she said nothing; the boy obviously was unaware at the moment and it would be unfair to push him in a direction he was not yet prepared for. But she hoped that she would get to see how things developed; _if _they did, she had always felt that Inuyasha got the tough end of the stick every time.

"Oi, I brought you something; the old girl was throwing stuff away, but I thought this was too good to chuck and you might like it." Inuyasha held a shawl in soft, blue dyed wool out for her inspection. It was beautiful and perfect for the cooler days when she walked in her garden and Kaede could tell that it was brand new; not something being thrown out. She thanked him deeply and ruffled his hair.

"Ye are a thoughtful and kind boy Inuyasha, ye deserve all the happiness that ye now receive." Suddenly she looked up behind Inuyasha as he tried to get out of her reach; it was not that he minded the petting, but it wouldn't do for anyone to know that. But seeing that Kaede was no longer concentrating on him, his senses told him that they were no longer alone.

"The 'old girl' has also brought your own belongings home Inuyasha." Grandmother said as she stood right behind him. Inuyasha blanched as he turned, hanging his head.

"I'm sorry Grandmother, I didn't mean to be disrespectful to you." The change in the cocky young hanyou was drastic and Kaede tried not to smile at the difference in his attitude to the two older women. She didn't know Sesshoumaru's mother enough personally or by reputation, to know how she would take the boy's verbal indescretion. She saw the twinkle in her eyes however, as she looked down on the contrite Inuyasha and knew he wouldn't be punished. But he couldn't wait to escape and charged off after his Grandmother said _'Go'._

The Lady turned to Kaede and said;

"He is so like his father when he was a whelp; rude but loving of heart. Thankfully he will outgrow it in time."

"He means no harm, it is a means of self protection that has become habit with Inuyasha."

"This I know well, I have watched him for many years; I know of you too Lady Miko and I thank you for the belief you had in him, you were the pivotal person in that group by giving them a place to call home and advising them. He chose the blue for you himself by the way; it took him all morning to decide which would best suit your needs."

"He has been greatly misunderstood for all of his life until he came here My Lady; but despite that, he is the best and most forgiving creature I have ever met." Kaede looked to the Lady and saw the smile and slight bow as she took her leave. When she was alone again, Kaede put the shawl around her shoulders enjoying the softness of the wool; making it cosy and warm, but light. Her eyes filled with thankful tears as she thought of how good it was that Inuyasha had found a loving home and of how many others born in his position had been killed; depriving a harsh world of the loving and caring hearts it badly needed.

TBC


	53. Planning

Ch 53 Planning

As Inuyasha settled back into his life again, he found he wanted to get back into his old routine; which surprised him. He had never been used to having routine before; but he felt a certain safety, in knowing what was to be done and when during the day. He didn't fancy regimentation; having every moment dictated to him, but he didn't like being at a loose end. The day after he had returned, he decided to sit on his cushion at his desk to practice his writing; when his door opened and Sesshoumaru entered. He crossed over to Inuyasha and knelt down beside him.

"Are you prepared to resume your lessons Little Brother? There is much to catch up on." He stared down at the top of Inuyasha's head as he waited for the answer. Inuyasha was once again choked and trying to control himself, against the rush of emotion that had overwhelmed him. Sesshoumaru smiled in understanding.

"There is nothing to cry over Inuyasha; your cushion has already been saturated with enough tears, that it threatens to float away." He received no answer.

"If you prefer, I do not study with you anymore, you only need say."

"I thought I was taking too much of your time."

"I decide the best use of my time Inuyasha; not my mother, not anyone else. I see helping with your education as most valuable and something you deserve; plus I enjoy the time we spend together."

"I missed you so much Sessh."

"I know pup, I know. Now let's proceed, if you are more composed." Sesshoumaru spent the time, finding out just what Inuyasha had remembered and ignoring the sniffles that his brother couldn't quite stifle. This education meant so much to Inuyasha; never before had he been considered worthy of knowledge, apart from the small amount his mother had given him. Many things that everyone else took for granted like food and shelter, had been luxuries for the neglected hanyou; the only learning he'd ever had, was practical in how to survive beatings and near death situations.

It may be over ten years since he'd had a home again, but sometimes something brought it right to the front of his mind once more. It could seem like a dream to be loved and accepted, especially since he'd just recovered from a beating that brought bad memories back to him and suddenly it was all too much and he had to run. The tears fell unchecked down his face again and he felt a fool as he flung himself on his pillows; but this time his brother just waited for him, calm and dignified until Inuyasha returned to his side to carry on the lesson. Sesshoumaru had also had time to think and he put his arm around Inuyasha;

"You were always worthy of your birthright Inuyasha; I was the one who denied you, but not because you were undeserving. I was at fault and jealous of you; please understand it is past and will stay past. You and I, we must keep focused on the future; or you will often find yourself drowning and having self doubt. I love you Pup Brother and I always have; please try to remember." He gave him a final hug and then resumed his lesson from the point where Inuyasha had run out; which reassured the boy that even should the sky be falling, Sesshoumaru would deal with it and then carry on as if nothing had happened. The thought made the hanyou smile.

After the lesson, Sesshoumaru told Inuyasha that he was welcome to have a party at any time he wished at the Western Palace. He wished to meet some of the new friends that Inuyasha had made and although he himself was not in a position to escort the boy to the various venues as his mother was, he would appoint Shingi to accompany the boy should he wish to go to any. Inuyasha's expression was worth the decision, his mouth dropped and his eyes shone; he would love to invite his friends to stay.

"Who knows, it might serve another purpose too; Rin is of an age to mate and therefore go to dances and banquets but she does not know many people, perhaps you can help her make friends as well." Sesshoumaru was rewarded with the flash in his brother's blazing eyes and flushed face;

"Keh! As if anyone would be good enough in your eyes for Rin; she ain't that old yet in any case."

"Certainly, anyone who wished to be her mate would have to be worthy of her; in mine and Kagura's eyes and of course she has all the time a youkai has. The same is true for any of my pups, including you; but Rin has not many friends and you could introduce her to yours."

"Feh! So long as you don't try to kill anyone."

"I shall endeavour to be on my _best _behaviour Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru said drily, making his brother stare; but Inuyasha was excited too and starting to make plans. "You should think of it as an assignment in learning to organise. Do not start out too ambitiously and you may ask for help or advice from anyone here. Perhaps Rin could help you plan; it would be a good exercise for her too. You should take tomorrow for this and I wish to see your plans, _before _you apply them." With that Sesshoumaru left and went to get ready for the evening meal.

In actual fact he went and sank down on his futon and stared at the ceiling; alarming Kagura at his most unusual behaviour.

"I know that you upset Inuyasha again; but he is now alright, so what has given _you_ a fit of the vapours my dearest?"

"Nothing my love; I have not upset my brother and I have given him an assignment to work out with Rin, making plans for a party here."

"You are not trying to play 'matchmaker' are you Sesshou? It is better not to get involved, at least yet."

"No. It would be wrong for them; neither is aware that there is an attraction as of yet and Rin has reached adulthood, whereas Inuyasha is still quite a long way from his."

"They would not have to wait that long if they love one another."

"True, but we will wait to see what develops; Inuyasha is not ready to replace Kagome and he is not yet really sexually aware. He may like Rin, but it will take time; although I think it would actually be a good match."

"I agree, but I think it should be watched with understanding; remembering how insecure he was around the Miko, I don't want Rin or Inuyasha to be hurt."

"It will be remarkable if that wish comes true, my love." Sesshoumaru replied cynically, causing Kagura to roll her eyes before she took advantage of his prone position. A couple of hours after, two pairs of eyes, one chocolate and one golden turned to look at the couple as they came in rather late for the evening meal; they then laughed as the older pair both blushed at being caught out. Inuyasha turned to Rin and said in an exaggerated whisper;

"It'll mean more pups." Then he had to run; as his brother in a somewhat playful mood, leapt over the table to make a grab for him. While they chased one another around the grounds, the two girls ate their meal interspersed with giggles at the yelps and squeals that they could hear through the windows; indicating Sesshoumaru had caught up with his disrespectful brother. Finally the pair returned and Inuyasha was dumped sulking in his seat; by a smirking Sesshoumaru who had carried him in, held up by the scruff and back of his kimono.

The next day Inuyasha and Rin went to sit by the frog pond to work out plans for the party. They had come armed with paper and pen; apples, biscuits, bread and cheese so they could munch while they worked. They first made a list of things they needed to consider; for instance number and sex of guests, rooms for them to sleep at least overnight but probably for longer. Catering for at least a week for them all; entertainment, musicians and so on. Next was a list of who they would need to see, to arrange each area. Cooks and Jaken, who knew a lot about organising; then there would be a budget to consider and how much was Sesshoumaru going to allow them.

As they wrote down a list for each area they found more things that they needed to consider and after what was surprisingly the whole day, they had a short list only. See Sesshoumaru for the budget, see Jaken for the organising and see the cooks for the food concerns. They both went to see the Taiyoukai in his study to show him what they had accomplished and he raised his eyebrow at the short list. Then he asked for the paper that showed the working out and smiled, hiding it behind his hand.

He commended them for the thoughts and added his own. They would need to cater not just for their guests, but also for the servants that would be brought and the chaperones. They would need to also consider, laundrey, seamstresses needed for the repair and care of all the garments that would be brought. Ostlers to care for the various means of transport. There were other things too that needed consideration; could the Palace alone provide all the servants and services needed, or would outside help be required?

Before the pair got disheartened however, Sesshoumaru told them not to worry about the budget and that Jaken would certainly be able to help them when he saw the list of the number of guests. So that was there first priority, who was to be invited and when was the party to be held. That night in the futon they were still whispering to each other about guests and entertainments and Sesshoumaru had to speak to them twice and resort to a swat for each, before they finally settled to sleep and stopped disturbing the younger pups. The next day however, preparations began again in earnest.

Rin was also eager to hear all about Inuyasha's friends first hand and not just through letters and he was pleased to have something to tell that was of interest to someone. She heard about the goings on at the parties he'd been to and was looking forward to being involved in one herself. Inuyasha mainly spoke of the younger youkai he'd become friends with; male and female and by the time she would come to meet them, Rin would probably be able to put a name to a face already.

Once Jaken had been given the list, he put the wheels in motion and Inuyasha and Rin were under orders to follow every step of the way; so that they too, would understand the amount of work and effort the party would cost. It was designed to help them appreciate all that the servants would do for them behind the scenes; Sesshoumaru had never forgotten his father's lesson when he was small. Permission was also given for Miroku, Sango and Shippou to be invited, as well as Kaede who would be on hand in any case; herbal remedies were always required after party excesses.

This time Inuyasha had asked Rin if she would like to go with him to the slayer's village and she eagerly accepted; they would travel informally and it had been a long time since she had had occasion to just travel. Sesshoumaru agreed to this, so long as they had escort; but he would not make them go by coach as he knew Inuyasha hated it. The compromise reached, the pair set off, followed by three of the elite; they too had noticed the growing closeness between the boy and girl and had been asked to keep a discreet eye on both.

After they had been walking for a half day, Rin was enjoying the old familiar feeling of being surrounded by the trees and fields of flowers; she even managed to squander a half hour for lunch and flower picking. She felt a strange, slightly off sense of deja-vu; she was once again walking alongside a youkai with long silver hair, feeling completely safe. Only this time she was much taller, the youkai quite a bit shorter and noisier than her Papa (who had been much more taciturn) and had those adorable ears flicking constantly on top of his head. They had always intrigued her; ever since she'd first met him, when he and Papa had used to fight and then become uneasy allies.

How strange to think on exactly who Inuyasha was to her; in a way he was her uncle and her sibling and yet neither, just as she was not fleshly pup to her Papa and Mama. They could both be so mixed up that they would feel that they fit in nowhere and yet they both understood and belonged to the family. To Rin, only Sesshoumaru could do that; perform a miracle by taking such disparate and emotionally damaged individuals and mold them into a normal functioning family like theirs.

She giggled thinking about all of this and giggled some more when she saw the ears twitching as they picked up the sound of her laughter. Eventually it all became too much and Inuyasha turned around with a look of slight annoyance on his face which made her smile broadly.

"I know your laughing at me girl, what is so funny?"

"Not at you Inuyasha, but your ears are amusing me; I want to stroke them, please,please,please,pleeease."

"No, leave them be; they're not toys."

"Please, please,please,please,please,please,plea..."

"For goodness sake, what is it with my ears? First Kagome and her mum and now you and don't think I'm always asleep, when you play with them at night either." Inuyasha didn't think he'd really sounded cross, but Rin's face crumpled and he was aghast at the thought he had upset her. She stood still and hid her face in her hands. She wasn't crying; but was not far off and that was most unusual for Rin, she was always sunny and smiling. He went over to her and gently pulled her hands away, but he couldn't help the exasperation in his voice.

"Oh, O.K. I'll let you touch; just don't cry about it, understand?"

"I'm sorry Inuyasha, I am so thoughtless; please forgive me."

"What are you going on about? You've done nothin' wrong."

"I was not considerate about your relationship with Kagome, I should have known that...I remembered with the jumping."

"Known what? that she was the only one I allowed to touch. I didn't let her do it much either Rin. But that ain't the reason. It feels nice, really nice; but only my Mama and Sessh knew how to pet them without hurting me and too many times they got pulled and sometimes damaged when people...well you know how it was, don't you? I hate them myself; they show instantly that I'm a hanyou and they give away what I'm feeling and there ain't a lot I can do about it."

"I won't ever hurt you; I want to make you feel nice too. And whatever was in the past is past, just as it is for me; so what if you're hanyou, that's what Grandmother said wasn't it? Besides it's not just them that tell what you are feeling, your eyes do too."

"Great, that's all I needed to know; can't keep no secrets. Stop grinning Rin, hey whaddya mean about the jumping?"

"Oh...oh, nothing important; I just came to realise it was special for you and Kagome when you carried her and took her high to the treetops."

"Is that why you stopped wanting to go?"

"I didn't want to cheapen your memories."

"I wouldn't have offered if I thought it was going to do that, silly girl. I usually carried Kagome so we could travel faster; I carried all of them at one time or another. Come on, get on; we'll get to the village quicker if I do carry you." With that he hoisted her onto his back and shot off; occasionally jumping and travelling in the trees, because it was pleasant to have someone enjoy again what he could do. She held on, but not too tightly and laughed gently while reaching to stroke his ears; stroking just right exactly as Sesshoumaru had taught her, when he'd watched her sometimes at night.

It didn't take long to reach the slayer's village and they were made most welcome; even the elite were given hospitality as it was known they were there only to guard the Lord of the West's concerns and should there be trouble, he would come down hard on the perpetrators. Sango and Miroku were pleased to see Rin again and if they thought anything of her travelling with Inuyasha, they said nothing. Even Miroku had learned that sometimes what was deemed a joke to one, was not perceived the same way by another.

Having children had taught him that loose remarks could cause a lot of pain and he knew that he had not helped in Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, with some of the things he had said. Shippou too had learned to hold his tongue; although he couldn't help his eyes, from constantly looking from one to the other. It was obvious from the hanyou's reactions however that as of yet, he had no intentions towards the girl; none that he knew of anyway, although Sango could see the subliminal signs of the possessiveness that had once been obvious, where Kagome was concerned.

As for Rin, it seemed the same; no obvious signs of attraction, but what was better was the friendly relationship. It was a far cry from the insecurity and jealous misery that Inuyasha had felt around her in the beginning; now it was evident that they had a close understanding of one another, which was the best foundation for a more intimate one in the future. Sango hoped that it would develop in time and that Inuyasha could move on from his thoughts of Kagome; still he had time too, he was not really much older than Shippou if you counted his lost years stuck to Goshinboku. She suddenly felt a wave of love for him and gave the amazed boy a huge hug and told him they would be delighted to come to the party and meet all his new friends.

TBC


	54. Prelude to the Party

Ch 54 Prelude to the Party

The day before the party was when most of the guests were due to arrive; almost all would stay for the whole week and it had been hard work to oversee the preparations. Both Inuyasha and Rin were 'hands on', unable to just watch. Rin helped in the kitchens and with the healers, Inuyasha too helped in the kitchens and outside with the lights and music stands. They had raided the stores, where some of the structures used for previous parties were kept and these were overhauled and updated. New work that was needed was organised and here again Inuyasha was able to help.

Sesshoumaru was proud of them especially Inuyasha who kept his temper more or less, when surrounded by the younger pups who were eager to 'help'. This was Sesshoumaru's retribution for the 'more pups' comment of earlier; even if it had proved to be correct, Kagura _was_ pupped once again. Inuyasha had been delighted but thoughtful when he was informed. When Kagura had asked him what had him so pensive; Inuyasha had given a rueful laugh and said how afraid he used to be that Sesshoumaru would have pups one day.

Now he was overjoyed for them and their family; he had thought at one time, that his brother's pups would just mean more people trying to eradicate the family stain. But as he told Kagura, he didn't really think he would still have been alive when Sesshoumaru had offspring anyway. Someone, probably his brother, would have been able to get rid of him; he had been running out of steam and will, long before he met Kikyou. It was only in his determination to defeat Naraku and to avenge his friends that he had found the will to carry on and even then, secretly he hadn't always thought that his strength would hold out.

Inuyasha was then taken by surprise as he found a red eyed Sesshoumaru holding him tightly and lapping at his neck with his tongue, incessantly and rhythmically; bathing the pack mark he had placed on Inuyasha when he had also marked Yuki. Inuyasha realised that Sesshoumaru's instincts had come in to play again as he had spoken with Kagura and his brother was reassuring him by paying attention to his mark. Sesshoumaru had been thinking about how young and small his own pups were and soon there would be another; when unbidden came the thought that Inuyasha had been younger and smaller than his Yuki, when he'd been abandoned.

His horror at the thought and then hearing the pup speaking, had triggered this reflex; but Inuyasha let himself be 'reassured' and enjoyed the feeling of belonging that the pack mark caused. Soon Sesshoumaru reverted and looked most surprised at himself, but he got a hug from Kagura and a happy smile from Inuyasha so he didn't feel quite so ridiculous. Kagura couldn't resist saying, that she thought it was only the pregnant female who got all protective and hormonal; which made Sesshoumaru react in a way that had Inuyasha running out of the room, so that he wasn't mentally scarred for life.

But now the first guests were Kouga and Ayame who was carrying another set of cubs; she looked perfectly healthy and was smiling, so Inuyasha risked being cheeky. He wasn't bothered about Kouga, but he hated to see females upset.

"Trying to repopulate your wolf pack alone eh? How many will this be Ayame and are they all like the wimp here?" He dodged Kouga and came up behind the She Wolf. Ayame was laughing and said,

"These cubs will take our 'contribution to ten', Inuyasha. Many do indeed show Kouga's attributes in various ways, I am happy to say."

"Ten eh? That's great Ayame, you're looking well on it anyhows, he must be doin' somethin' right." Interrupted by Sesshoumaru and Kagura, Inuyasha took a back step.

"Indeed, it would seem that the Wolf Prince is doing something correctly if his Princess has ten cubs Inuyasha." Inuyasha blushed deeply and stuttered;

"Th...That's not what I meant and you know it, besides you can't talk; Kagura is on her fourth."

"And who knows how many I would have if I was a canine youkai Inuyasha; bitches have litters don't they?"

"At least they take after you two and not mutt face, that has to be a blessing." Kouga grinned looking at Inuyasha, as the pups appeared out from behind their father.

"Feh!" Inuyasha bowed gently, to the two families and turned to leave quickly. They all picked up the sudden peak of sadness that had been quickly covered up and Kouga could have hit himself.

"Damn, he has taken that wrongly; I wasn't thinking."

"It may not matter to us anymore that Inuyasha is hanyou; but he cannot forget for long, what a stigma it has always been for him. He would love pups himself but does not see them in his own future yet." Sesshoumaru made a move to follow Inuyasha but Kouga beat him to it;

"Allow me please Sesshoumaru, it is for me to make things right with him."

"Of course; but be aware, he can be sensitive." Sesshoumaru warned and Kouga heard the warning, the elder sibling would not tolerate Inuyasha being further upset. He passed Rin on the way to finding Inuyasha and she gave him a smile as he went by whispering;

"He's in his room by the window. I don't know what you said or did, but be nice now please." Kouga nodded and wondered how the girl knew. "He was muttering '_wimpy_ _wolf' _under his breath, Rin clarified and Kouga blushed. He walked to the hanyou's rooms knocking first, but walking straight in without the summons; straight over to Inuyasha by the window. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder;

"I'm sorry Inuyasha, I was not thinking and I didn't mean to offend you. What I said, wasn't meant to be taken the way you did; it was something I would have said to anyone, I forgot you might take it differently."

"Feh, it was my fault; I shouldn't have teased." Inuyasha had not realised how powerfully the inferiority complex could still grip his heart; even more so because now he wasn't expecting it from that source.

"You can tease, Inuyasha; there's nothing wrong with that. I didn't say that to punish you; It just didn't cross my mind you would misunderstand, until the words were out."

"That's the nicest thing you have ever said to me Kouga, you truly forgot?"

"Yes, you are Inuyasha and it was him I was teasing; not what you are, that really doesn't matter."

"Keh!" And Inuyasha allowed himself to be walked out back to the others with Kouga's arm around his shoulders. Sesshoumaru took a discreet sniff at his brother but there was no hint of saline, not that he really expected any. Inuyasha may now trust his brother and immediate family with his tears and even then he hated to appear weak; but anyone else and his barriers were usually up in full force; long years of practice made him able to internally hide himself away with ease. But in any case he was growing more secure and had obviously been able to believe in the wolf's sincerity, that he had not meant to hurt his feelings.

Miroku, Sango and Shippou were the next to arrive and Rin was pleased to know that she would have familiar faces to speak to before everyone else came. Grandmother had already been here a few days and made herself at home and had even brought a new gown for Rin to wear to her first grown up party. But soon, in dribs and drabs, others started to make their way up to the Palace and Inuyasha and Rin stood together with Kouga and Ayame; watching as the various parties arrived. It was all very exciting and Inuyasha pointed out to everyone just who was who, as he recognised the coaches or even the youkai with them.

There was a picnic planned on the lawns for everyone as they arrived and had unpacked and as the younger guests were normally the first ready, impromptu dancing and games were taking place. Inuyasha was soon sought out by all his friends and he introduced them in turn to Rin and anyone else they didn't know. Later that evening there was a bonfire and the gardeners had supplied various edible roots to be roasted in the embers; for snacks in case they were wanted and while the younger ones were energetically enjoying the afternoon and evening, their elders were also being catered for.

These were slower in coming from their rooms but when they did, provisions and drinks were laid out in the dining hall for any who did not wish to picnic. Most knew one another and also knew Sesshoumaru, they were then introduced to Kagura and the pups; but soon all drifted out to the grounds and sat around in the warmth of the fire and the evening, they were happy to listen to the tales that could be told by the famous humans in their midst. All knew of the battle that had been fought even if they had no part in it themselves.

Miroku was happily surrounded by youkai girls who were morbidly fascinated with the thought that he'd had the Kazaana and they wished to see where it had been. He however was sobered to think that although these girls were in actual fact many years older than him, they were much younger in youkai terms and acted it. He was supposed to be a mature man with a growing family and it was thoughts of his own daughters now, rather than Sango that kept him 'chaste'. He would kill anyone who tried anything with his own and knew without doubt that there were fathers here who felt the same.

Sango was no longer fearful her husband's roving hands being an issue, but she felt quite old herself among the youkai youth; especially as she had matured too and was now in comparison, considerably older than Inuyasha and more on a par with Sesshoumaru. No not Sesshoumaru, he seemed much older still unless he was with his mother who could still raise a blush on her son's cheeks; no, more like Kouga and Ayame whose cubs were about the same age as her own children. But she found that she could cast away her inhibitions when it came to dancing and enjoying herself; especially when Kouga came to dance with her, Ayame taking a rest by the fire for a few moments.

Sesshoumaru's fears that the humans might not fit in or feel intimidated or threatened didn't materialise. Most of the youkai were ambivalent about the humans; others, namely the younger ones were curious, not having had much contact if any. He then realised that a lot of high youkai didn't have much contact anyway with other forms of life; it was only in his family that there had been much interaction. Of course they all knew of humans and that hanyou were the result usually, of youkai and human breeding; but it seemed that most took everyone at face value.

Lower types and the particularly vicious or partisan youkai were those most, but by no means the only; intolerant of the mixed breeds and humans who were fearful of their strengths or appearance. They were also the sort who would not tolerate physical imperfections in their own kind either; Sesshoumaru realised that his own former hatred of Inuyasha was soley a personal one and he'd used the common intolerance as an excuse. Now that that was gone, he'd realised that he had never once thought with abhorrance on Jinenji or Shiori; both of whom had also been invited, even in the privacy of his own mind. He had accepted them as he did everything else; a fait accompli even if he did not like something or someone, he did not hound and torment them as he had done his brother.

The shy Jinenji found himself encouraged to talk with a couple of youkai who had known his father and since the hanyou's mother had died and he had been alone; it was very pleasant to find himself able to reminisce again. Shiori's family too was known to many in the higher circles and she found that she too was not so alone; plus she was so pretty that she was taken to be quite the little darling of some of the girls, who took her to pet and doll up. This made a nice change for Shiori's mother and the bat youkai who had protected them both, he too over the course of the week made some useful and strong friends; that meant that he would no longer have to live on the edge of society anymore.

True this little gathering would not solve all the problems that came up in one go; but it was a promising start and rather refreshing to find out that not everyone hated each other. That night in the futon, Sesshoumaru let Inuyasha and Rin have their talk out, rather than try to make them sleep; they were both so excited about the day and eventually the youkai joined in, trying to keep the volume down for the small pups who were crashed out at the bottom of the futon, all mangled up together. In Inuyasha's room which they were using, Kouga and Ayame were whispering together; they too had now noticed the unspoken and as yet unknown attraction that Inuyasha and Rin shared.

In the morning everyone got up around Rin and Inuyasha who were still asleep after really only dropping off in the early hours of the morning. He awakened to a giggle from Rin as she had to him, as he had snuffled his nose in her neck; blushing profusely, he found however that he was very calm and rested with the pleasant feeling of having slept soundly. Rin's scent was familiar and attractive to him, something he hadn't experienced since Kagome sometimes let him hold her when she slept; it made him feel strange to have a girl in his arms in this way again, strange but nice and he found he didn't want to let her go. These thoughts were fleeting as they crossed his mind however and Rin's giggles at the warm breath on her neck, made him realise afresh that he still hadn't moved.

"Feh! Time to get up girl or we will miss breakfast."

"Too late for that Inuyasha, you will miss _lunch _if you both do not get up now." Sesshoumaru stated; his eyes missing nothing, including his brother's blush and his daughter's lowered eyes and small smile. His nose indicated that although there was still no sign of sexual arousal, there was definite scents of warmth and acceptance from both to the proximity of each; they were both comfortable in the quite intimate embrace, that was subtly different to the normal sleep hold they shared. But no conscious embarrassment at being discovered thus by Sesshoumaru, so they both were still innocent in thought as well.

"You will barely have time to eat before you need to prepare for this evening; unless you get up now pups." It had the desired effect and they both got ready to go to lunch.

Lunch lasted well into the afternoon as guests meandered in and out of the gardens and various rooms, then it was time for everyone to bathe and change for the party that evening. This was the most exciting part for Rin; she had a new kimono and her maids had helped turn her into a doll by putting up her hair in new combs and Sesshoumaru had given her the gift of a pair of fans, that matched Kagura's and the pattern on her kimono.

Inuyasha was already in the ballroom when Sesshoumaru entered with Kagura and Rin; one on each arm. The boy too had a couple of girls, one on each arm and Sesshoumaru's eyebrow questioned him. He came up and introduced the two; who seemed to still find him fascinating and their personal property, at these parties. The attraction from them was obvious; their desire for his brother tangible, but so far unreciprocated. He looked suspiciously at Inuyasha, surely he could not be that naive; he must recognise that the girls pheremones were aimed at him.

Inuyasha was innocent; yet he _had_ known love and desire at a certain level, there was no way that he couldn't know that the girls were interested and yet his demeanour would suggest that he had no idea. They were not the only two either, a lot of the unnattached females were gravitating near to Inuyasha and showed interest if he passed them and the hanyou just carried on regardless. He did not flirt in any way, unlike a lot of the other boys were doing; then Sesshoumaru had the thought that perhaps Inuyasha didn't know that a lot of attention was directed at him specifically.

Even though he must be aware of the heightened atmosphere of the party, he had to be able to smell it; he probably _didn't _realise that it was himself who was being found attractive, Inuyasha still had low self esteem. But it was not just that; it had been a hard lesson learned with many a painful 'sit' if Inuyasha had shown any sign of favour to Kikyou from Kagome and vice versa, with the former living miko making him feel guilty just with her look, whenever he put Kagome first in the other girl's sight. Therefore, Inuyasha would be friendly only; to all the girls and boys at the party. He was very popular and always had people near him and he danced with them all, until he saw Rin swirling by on the arm of an elegant and beautiful Inu who was not Sesshoumaru.

TBC


	55. Party Tricks

Ch 55 Party Tricks

Inuyasha watched as Rin was danced almost off her feet by the elegant golden haired Inu; she was smiling and laughing in a way that Inuyasha recognised, it meant that she was happy and he felt pleased for her. She was enjoying her first party and he was _really_ pleased for her; she was not being left to stand with Papa and he was _definitely_ pleased for her. The new gown fitted well and showed that she was fully a woman, the colour was good and she shone; he was _very_ pleased for her, so;

"Why are you growling Inuyasha, is something not pleasing you?" Sesshoumaru asked him as they stood getting refreshments for the ladies in their charge. The older sibling was very well aware of why his little brother was growling, Inuyasha hadn't taken his eyes off Rin for a good ten minutes; since she'd waltzed by him with one of the brothers of his friends. The most amusing thing for him was though, that Inuyasha didn't realise at all that he was glaring either and would genuinely be surprised. As he thought, there was real question in the answer;

"Keh!?" Inuyasha's puzzled look was worth the mild amount of teasing, but it had to stop for a moment as Rin herself came up to join them.

"Wow, I'm puffed. This party is really fun Papa, don't you think so Inuyasha?"

"S'all right; you look like your enjoying it, I'm pleased." Inuyasha said; not sounding pleased at all, as Rin looked at him worriedly. Inuyasha himself didn't know why he sounded so surly, or why his chest felt tight and why suddenly he just wanted everything finished and them all tucked up in the family futon with all the guests gone. The very real danger, that someone might come and steal Rin away and that Sesshoumaru knew this was a possibility and didn't seem to care; made him furious at his brother. Sesshoumaru could tell all his brother's moods and knew that he should take him outside to cool off.

Doing so immediately and brooking no arguement, he turned his brother to face him and sternly spoke;

"You will not spoil Rin's evening by being churlish Inuyasha, or I will remove you from the party. Do I make myself clear?"

"Keh! How can you let him near her Sessh? He could take her away then what would you do, she has been with you since she was a little girl?"

"Rin is just dancing with him Inuyasha; not bedding him." He noticed the immediate, instinctive growl on the deliberately provocative words he had used. "Besides it is something all parents have to face at some time, when their children find their future mate. It is true that the thought of Rin looking to another male, with the smiles and love that have been all mine so far is a hard thought; but she deserves the love of a mate if that is what she wants. Surely you can trust me to keep a close eye on any prospective suitors for my pups?"

"Feh!" Was the only response given.

"I take as much interest in you pup; you have several females dancing to your every whim at the moment. Am I to assume that any time now one of them will whisk you away from me as well?" He knew for a fact of course that that was not the case; but it was a salient point which Inuyasha chose to ignore, as he led his brother back into the hall where the party was still in full swing. His eyes searched out Rin as she stood to get a drink and he wandered over to her, taking in the glowing eyes and sparkling smile as she saw him.

Before Inuyasha reached her and could give her some well earned counsel, about not trusting everyone she came across; another young male approached her and smiled gently as she lowered her eyes modestly and gave him her hand. That was unacceptable, someone had removed his female from under his nose when he was about to impart some crucial wisdom to her and Inuyasha was going over there to take her back from the upstart who had her now. Inuyasha wasn't thinking very clearly; his eyes were starting to glow with red tinges and he was growling.

Obviously Sesshoumaru's words had flown out of the window when Inuyasha saw Rin and this time it was Kagura who drew him away from everyone and out to their private suite. Two swift sharp swats with the edge of her fan, brought him back to himself; although he was sulking as he rubbed his bottom.

"You mister, had better explain yourself or I shall have Shingi deal with you like the time before." Kagura's ruby eyes were flashing with barely concealed anger.

"I don't know what's the matter."

"Well you had better find out quickly and tell me if you can't control yourself; or I shall have you put to bed like the little ones, after Shingi has seen to you. You cannot just start to lose your control like that."

"I said, **I don't know**." He was almost shouting in her face and she wasn't going to stand for that and landed two more slaps with her fan on the already slightly tender backside.

"Do not speak to me like that young man." She said fiercely and with the authority of a mother. "You will stay here until you can get yourself under control and you have an answer for me." With that she swept out and past a grinning Sesshoumaru. He had come to take charge if neccessary, but was glad to find out that Kagura was well able to deal with the stroppy pup. Kagura sighed and smiled back, leaning into her mate, tired after the confrontation with the hanyou.

Half an hour later, Inuyasha went to seek Kagura out where she was resting for a while and put his arms round her and whispered _'sorry'_ into her ear. She returned the embrace and held him while he explained;

"I don't know why that happened, I felt hot like I did when that wimpy wolf came sniffing around Kagome; but it was like Rin needed more protecting or something."

"She is completely safe here and under Sesshoumaru's guard. Do you think you are ready to go back inside, your guests await you and you have some very attractive ones missing your presence."

"Feh, they are nice friends that's all."

"I understand Inuyasha, now go on." Kagura smiled at him again and lay back resting once more. Inuyasha walked back to the party; but before he could go inside, Sesshoumaru apprehended him. Inuyasha although nearly grown, was still in reality a pup who had missed out on much basic childhood training; including that of his youkai which could be dangerous. Therefore his brother needed to be very firm.

"Any repeat of this behaviour Inuyasha and I shall deal with you severely in my study and you will not be allowed to attend any other of the general functions. Do not test me to see whether or not I will keep to my word; I shall." With those words he dragged his brother to the garden and made the boy watch, as he cut a robust cane from one of the bushes and took it to his study. "This warning is the only one you will receive for the rest of this holiday, while your guests are here. Don't disappoint me pup."

Inuyasha was already ashamed that Sesshoumaru felt he needed to warn him so strongly, after Kagura too had been cross and his face flamed with a deep blush which made him hide his face. The Daiyoukai ruffled his brother's bowed head and let him go; he knew that his point had been well made and he knew that the threat of disappointing him, was the greater deterrent of the two.

When Inuyasha returned to the party, Kouga approached him and told him that a simpler way of making sure that no undesirable came near to Rin, would be to dance with her himself. He had overheard the dire threats Sesshoumaru had laid out before the pup and wanted to spare him any further problem; at least for the rest of the party. Inuyasha stared at Kouga, why hadn't he thought of that before? It would solve a problem and so he went to grab Rin before someone else did. His approach was nowhere near as suave as the other youkai, who treated Rin with the utmost respect; Inuyasha just went up and said _'dance with me now' _and pulled her onto the dancefloor.

_'How could any girl resist those charms' _thought Kouga as he watched alongside Ayame; both vastly amused at the unconventional courtship that neither party knew was happening. Both wolf youkai knew that Inuyasha's protective possessiveness was a sign of attraction however and Kouga had seen it before, when Kagome was the object of his desire. Although this was different in intensity; Inuyasha's youkai was also trying to make it's own statement and was closer to the surface than it had been before, unless the pup was under threat. It needed close watching as Inuyasha was not yet fully trained in containing his youkai even with the further aid of Tetsusaiga; it was something that was being addressed but was not completed.

Dancing with Rin felt strange; he was aware of actually moving but he also felt calm as if his inner self was being cooled, her scent which was so familiar to him seemed subtly different and it was almost as if he was wrapped in a blanket of tranquility. Inuyasha could hear her talk and laugh and his eyes were riveted on her smiling face as if she was a stranger, but one of which he knew every facet and every plane. It was as if everything was muffled; except the presence of Rin dancing with him and he didn't know how long he had held her, but he was better for it.

Of course the only explanation was, that he was making sure she was safe; a human girl among the predatory, mate hungry youkai and he was used to protecting a human girl. It was territory he knew and felt safe with and he decided that he should be near to Rin for the rest of the visit; in case anyone tried to entangle her trusting heart with promises they had no right to make and wouldn't be allowed to keep. The rest of the evening went well with no more problems for Inuyasha, even though Rin danced again with the impressive Inu and he had to spend time with his other friends and dance with them.

Into the early hours the party carried on and Rin was thoroughly tired but happy; until Inuyasha came to get her from her current partner with the words;

"Can't you tell she's too tired to dance any more. Come on Rin, it's time for us to go to bed." He only realised what he had said when Rin flushed brick red and her escort chuckled. Inuyasha's ears flattened to the top of his head and he turned his huge and horrified golden eyes at the by now, obviously fuming Rin and then to the imposing figure of his brother who looked down on him with his own eyes flashing dangerously. Sesshoumaru ever alert to changes in his pups' auras had detected the changes in Rin and saw Inuyasha and the other youkai. Expecting the worst, he had appeared behind Inuyasha in time to hear his words.

Inuyasha cringed literally and looked as though he were expecting a blow there and then, which Sesshoumaru didn't like. It had been many years now since that would have happened, but many things still lay buried deeply within the hanyou. With his ears still flat, Inuyasha hung his head and apologised to Rin and the other youkai who good naturedly said to Sesshoumaru, not to worry as he wasn't offended and that he understood; pups shouldn't stay up too late in any case. Inuyasha thought it would be best if he left and so said Goodnight, and took himself off to bed; leaving Rin still with Sesshoumaru and the other youkai.

Kagura and the small pups were already asleep in the futon when Inuyasha climbed in, but it was not long before Rin joined them; she accepted his muted _'sorry Rin'_ and petted his ears, telling him that she knew he did not mean to interfere. Rin had known him long enough to know that he was not malicious and always tried to do the things he thought right. Besides she _had_ been tired and that particular youkai was nice, but very full of himself; she had been bored by him, which was something she never was near Inuyasha.

Comforted by her words and sure that he hadn't warranted Sesshoumaru's punishment; Inuyasha pulled the girl to him as usual and went straight to sleep with his nose buried in the hair by her neck, unaware of the meaning behind his action. Rin too felt different about this pleasant feeling and she snuggled closer than normal into his embrace as she fell asleep.

When Sesshoumaru came to bed, his mate smiled at him indicating the two entwined together and asleep; it was apparant that Rin was holding no grudge against the sometimes maddeningly childish hanyou. The Daiyoukai didn't go to sleep, he just kept watch over his growing family; his need to protect, now sometimes overwhelming him as he felt his love for them all grow. He watched as the first glint of gold appeared, as Inuyasha awakened later that morning and as his instincts made him snuffle at Rin's neck before he was completely awake.

Sesshoumaru realised that what Inuyasha's youkai was doing, was checking that the female was healthy; but the hanyou didn't know this and now was not the time to teach him. It would not do to jump ahead of themselves where Rin and Inuyasha were concerned; if the boy learned what some of the things he was doing meant to his youkai, he might very well be embarrassed and put a halt to them, instead it would be better letting nature take it's course.

The next few days were perfect, Inuyasha kept his head although his eyes were never far from overseeing what Rin was doing or with who; but during the day and the games and picnics, the young ones were less mixed than when they were dancing. Rin had made some firm friends among the girls and was normally to be found among them. The weather was wonderful all week, inviting the festivities to carry on long after dark with the popular bonfires and roasted vegetables; musicians would play whatever was asked of them and boys would pull the girls up to dance, with parents watching indulgently.

But towards the end of the week late in the afternoon, Inuyasha was engaged in a ruckus with a large young Inu who was dancing closely with Rin. The Inu thought it was funny to whisper obscenities about Rin in an undertone she could not hear; besides calling her a whore, for wanting to find a mate among the youkai present and for wanting to spawn more hanyou like her adopted father's brother. He however had not realised that same hanyou had been watching out for the girl and had overheard his remarks, having excellent youkai hearing.

Inuyasha pounced and pulled Rin away with one hand and decked the youkai with the other. Before either Sesshoumaru or the father of the injured party could reach the boys, Inuyasha had rained punches all over the lout's body. Hauled apart; Inuyasha by the ear, they continued to glower at each other and Rin for the first time that she could remember felt so angry, that she came and slapped Inuyasha's face hard enough to leave a red mark before she marched off. Although he didn't miss the smirk that the youkai gave Inuyasha and realising that the pup had been provoked; Sesshoumaru didn't let go of his brother's furry ear. Nor though, did it go unnoticed that Rin clearly blamed Inuyasha for the fight.

"This Sesshoumaru apologizes for the shameful behaviour of his Pup Brother. I will personally see to it that he is thrashed. Will that satisfy you?" He asked the aggrieved father.

"Of course Sesshoumaru; no real harm done. Boys will be boys and all that." He nodded to Sesshoumaru who then walked steadily indoors; passing all the guests who had stopped whatever they were doing when the fight broke out, never letting go of his brother's ear. Once inside his study, Sesshoumaru asked what had provoked the attack; but Inuyasha was silent.

"Inuyasha give me some reason to let me excuse you, why did you forget yourself and start a brawl and why Rin blames you."

"No reason, I shamed you and Rin that's all." Inuyasha was going to be stubborn and Sesshoumaru sighed and fetched the large cane he'd cut earlier in the week.

"Very well Inuyasha, drop your hakama and lean over and brace yourself on my desk." Sesshoumaru made Inuyasha lean on his elbows, his hands gripping the sides of the desk and with his head down. He then gave Inuyasha twelve hard and even strokes with the cane across his buttocks and thighs; hard enough to cut and impossible for the boy to remain silent through. When he finished, Sesshoumaru left Inuyasha to regain his breath and composure and to cover himself in private; telling him to wait until he came back.

He then walked back to the rest of the gathering, ignoring the inquisitive glances cast his way. It would have been obvious to all what had happened; the Daiyoukai's study was after all, by neccesssity central to the Palace and he saw no reason to indulge the idle curiosity of some of their guests. Until he was approached by the father of the youkai Inuyasha had punched; the tall male came to apologise and say that he had since learned the whole truth from a younger boy who'd overheard what had happened.

The father explained that his son had spoken offensively about Rin causing Inuyasha to lose his temper. When Sesshoumaru heard the actual words, he was fuming; not that that was apparant on his face. The youkai then told Sesshoumaru that his son would take the same punishment that Inuyasha had for shaming his family.

"Your son is your's to do with as you see fit; but you have to know that _he_ is no longer welcome as one of my pup's friends, until Inuyasha has an apology that he is willing to accept." Sesshoumaru turned away effectively dismissing everyone, as he wanted to return to his brother. When he did so, he found that his mother was already there talking quietly to Inuyasha who was now standing; although leaning heavily on the desk.

"You should have told me what that whelp said Inuyasha, I would have spared you; the father found out the truth and now says he will punish his son the way you have been. Not that it will be the same, I did not hold back for you being hanyou."

"Would your father have spared you a beating Sesshoumaru, had you started a fight; whatever the circumstances?" The Lady asked of her son.

"No, he would not; he would have told me that I should use diplomacy at all times and ignore as beneath notice, those who would insult me."

"You see my Little Hanyou, you were punished correctly for fighting; even though you had right on your side, you used the wrong methods to solve the problem. You are a Prince now, you must act in a princely fashion." Inuyasha ended any further discussion by crumpling to the floor in a faint; he'd been standing since Sesshoumaru dealt with him and now the pain had finally made him light headed and desperate for water. Sesshoumaru scooped up the pale boy and carried him back to the family futon where Kagura and Rin waited; the small ones asleep that night in the nursery, under the care of the nursemaids with other pups who'd accompanied their older siblings and parents.

TBC


	56. Words of Wisdom

Ch 56 Words of Wisdom

Kagura said nothing when she saw the welts that Sesshoumaru had caused on his brother's backside; they were clean and not likely to be infected, so she just washed away the blood and told Inuyasha it would be best to wait until his youkai healing had sealed the cuts before he put on clean hakama. To spare his modesty for the hour it would take for the welts to cover over sufficiently, Sesshoumaru took Rin out to the garden as the night air was still warm.

"Inuyasha did not deserve either your censure, nor the strike to his face Rin; I have since learned that the boy you were with was less than complimentory about you as a human, Inuyasha defended your honour."

"You found this out after you beat him?"

"Yes, but it would have made no difference; he was wrong to fight and he had been warned."

"Did you have to make him bleed?"

"It is done now, I shall speak to him when he has recovered." They spoke little anymore as they wandered around the garden, finally going back in when Sesshoumaru could no longer smell his brother's blood; they found Inuyasha decently covered and drinking a warm honeyed milk drink, Kagura glaring at Sesshoumaru daring him to say anything. He didn't and Rin went to lie down next to the hanyou who was now lying on his front; the cuts may have healed over, but the bruises would not be gone till sometime the next day.

As she lay down next to Inuyasha, Rin couldn't stop her tears as she apologized for slapping him and this time she lay with her arm protectively over_ his_ back after she kissed his forehead and petted his ears. Slowly they all went to sleep, except for Inuyasha who was only dozing in discomfort; he wanted to make sure they were all asleep before he got up and went into the garden. Finally with the harsh and cruel words he'd heard crossing through his mind, accompanied by the humiliation and pain of his punishment and the knowledge that he had disappointed his brother; he let the tears flow unchecked.

"Silly whelp" said Sesshoumaru softly, as he used a silk square to wipe Inuyasha's face before pulling his brother to him."You should have told me what he said before hitting him. I would have dealt with it for you." As he spoke, Inuyasha remained silent and let Sesshoumaru rub his bruises firmly but gently; which was oddly soothing. Then he said something astounding; "However I am proud of you for the defence of Rin and your mother. Am I forgiven for beating you?" He held Inuyasha close until the boy could speak and heard a muffled _'Yes Papa' _a slip up that Inuyasha covered quicklyby saying;

"Damnit Sessh, you can't half hit me hard still." The comment earning him a harder hug.

"Is your pain eased Inuyasha, are you able to come in and sleep now; or do you require some medication?"

"Feh! I aint no wimp and I never had medicine before when I was hurt."

"No and you never slept until after you healed either; but things are changed Little Brother and you need to sleep." Sesshoumaru now ignored the guilt whenever it had cause to surface and carried on as normal. Inuyasha 'Feh'ed again and leaned more into Sesshoumaru and let himself be taken back to the futon and went to sleep with Kagura stroking his head. When he awoke in the morning he was alone, although the scent of everyone was still fresh; but he was pleased for the privacy as he went to the long mirror to inspect the damage to his rear, where he could feel the dull pain once again now that he'd moved.

There was a gasp and Inuyasha suddenly noticed that he was not the only one studying his bruises in the mirror; Yuki too was staring, completely fascinated and horrified at the black and blue striped marks that were now turning yellow. The boy had crept in to see how his uncle was faring, after recognising Inuyasha's voice when he had cried out the evening before; only to find him twisted round looking in the mirror.

"Yuki, watchya doin' here?" He sighed and pulled his hakama back up. Yuki watched him and then spoke using the same childish version of Inuyasha's name that he had when he was tiny.

"Uncle Yassa, I heard you yesterday...did _Papa_ do that to you?" The faint disbelief in the boy's voice was evident.

"Yeah pup." There was no point in hiding the fact; everyone else knew by now, even if they hadn't heard the blows themselves. Inuyasha was only too pleased that Miroku had taken Sango and Shippou home already, as they hadn't wanted to be away from their children for too long. Shippou would never have let him hear the end of it and neither would the monk.

"He's never done that to me; he won't...will he?"

"Nah, you're far too sensible, it's my own fault; Papa warned me and I didn't do as I was told." Yuki was nodding his head wisely.

"He's only ever spanked us when we were naughty before; what made those marks?"

"A bloody thick bamboo cane and it hurts, so don't go against Papa again; at least not when he's shown you what he'll use anyhow. Listen, it was because I shamed him and made him disappointed in front of everyone O.K. Not something you should ever do, you must remember Papa is also the Lord of the West; do you understand?"

"I think so; but _why _didn't you remember, you're bigger than me and... " Yuki sniffed at his uncle's face, "you smell like you cried like a little pup."

"I ain't always very bright Yuki and I do things before I've thought them through; but trust me, being hit with a big stick hurts enough to make you cry."

"Even when you're as big as you?"

"Yeah, even when you're big like me."

"Ginyukimaru, Inuyasha is not really grown up yet, he merely _seems_ so to you; but you _would _do well to pay heed to his words, today they are wise." Sesshoumaru had been listening, as he had come to find his son and tracked him down to Inuyasha and he had been touched to hear his brother call him Papa; although he knew that it was not always a conscious thing the boy said, it indicated how the pup often viewed him. "Inuyasha, allow me to see the damage this morning please." Noting that the bruises were indeed healing well and that there was still no sign of inflamation Sesshoumaru concluded that Inuyasha would be able to sit and move more freely by lunchtime.

"You will be fit to join us for lunch Inuyasha, it will be a picnic outside and there are plenty of cushions to sit on."

"Feh! I can stay here for now."

"No Inuyasha; you have guests to attend and that is another reason diplomacy works better than brute force, at least to start with. The consequences are far less humiliating."

"You were so silly Uncle Yassa, everyone knows you got a beating; you should have learned your lesson properly when you were little like me and not a big boy."

"Ginyukimaru, do not make me ashamed of you and your lack of manners. You know nothing of Inuyasha's childhood; nor the fact that he did not have the same advantages you do when he should have. But he is catching up fast and is doing very well in his learning and training. Now apologise to your Uncle." Sesshoumaru was angry and Yuki hated making his father angry with him, he also felt sorry that he had caused the sense of shame to roll of his uncle; he flung himself onto Inuyasha apologising profusely, reminding Inuyasha of Shippou sometimes when he got carried away.

"Keh! Pup, let go; it's O.K. Releasing Inuyasha Yuki ran off to find his siblings, while Sesshoumaru pulled his own sibling into his lap; mindful of the bruises that were still in evidence.

"I'm afraid Inuyasha, you have to come to face everyone sooner or later; if it is any consolation, everyone knows that the other boy was at fault initially. They too will all understand that you have received your punishment, just as all of them have done at one time or another. You will only feel embarrassed for a few minutes and then you can enjoy the rest of the week."

"I thought you said I'd be banned from anything else."

"I changed my mind in the circumstances; you were provoked and although the result was undesirable for all concerned, you had justification for your anger."

"O.K. then, I'll come down to lunch, but I think I want a bath first."

"You will get no arguements from me on that point Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru smiled."I will wait for you and we will go outside together." Inuyasha was soon ready; but felt nervous and as they got closer to the gardens where everyone else was already eating, the tension in the boy grew tangible. Sesshoumaru turned his brother to look at him; he put his hand under Inuyasha's chin lifting his head and petted his ears to perk them up.

"Inuyasha, raise your head high; you have nothing of which to be ashamed. You made an error and were punished, it is now over; remember Mother's words, you are a Prince, carry yourself as one." He did not scold; rather he smiled and lent Inuyasha strength, by standing closely by his side as they walked together to get food. Sesshoumaru also buffered his brother from the immediate attention, by asking him what he would like to eat; helping him to fill his plate and then taking them both over to Kagura, Rin and the pups. This enabled everyone to get used to him being there without him having to speak at first and Inuyasha was grateful.

As the afternoon progressed, various friends showed Inuyasha their support for his stand against the now absent rude youth and the pup found his brother's words to be true; none of his friends were making him feel ashamed anymore than he did himself. One of them even said that he was admired not just for standing up to the bully, but by not trying to get out of his punishment which they felt had been severe; his own father had commented that Sesshoumaru was known for being harsh even cruel, towards the pup.

But at this, Inuyasha felt he had to speak;

"Sessh wasn't too hard on me; he warned me earlier in the week about losing my selfcontrol. I didn't learn when I was young how to control my youkai and it is very strong, too strong for me to let it have free run. I cannot transform in the way most of you do and if I get angry, it now wants to take charge of me; Sessh is teaching me to be in control but I haven't been very good this week in remembering my lessons. I have to be obedient because my youkai doesn't always want to be submissive to my alpha; but it has to learn that it will have to be so and Sessh has to prove he is stronger than my youkai."

"So you can't transform?"

"Not as you and only if I am near to death, then it will save me but it is very dangerous; Sesshoumaru thinks that as I age it will become easier for me to have control over it, in the way that it surfaces. If I don't learn and just let it happen it would kill me in the end or someone else will; it has to learn to help me not lead me as Shingi says.

I am doing well but I have been disobedient a few times this week which could give my youkai the wrong signals, so Sesshoumaru has had to be strict."

"That sounds like something he has told you to say; we could hear those blows out here, all twelve of them. Dad said he thought your Papa unneccessarily harsh." The friend was indignant on behalf of Inuyasha, who was blushing furiously that his friends had heard everything; but he shook his head.

"I've had time to think and Sessh did try to get me out of it, if I'd told him what had been said; but it would have been wrong. Sessh could've just let me take my chances like he used to do, he could say that when my youkai finally got the better of me he would kill me then because that would be the only thing to do; but he isn't, he loves me now and wants to help." They were pushing Inuyasha too far and he was likely to get upset, so Sesshoumaru stepped in and put an end to the discussion; by gently taking his brother back to his family.

No one could doubt the care with which the young prince was now treated by his brother.

"You defended me Inuyasha; thank you. You feel more secure and trust your friends with all those details?"

"Feh! When they started to say stuff about you it all seemed to come out. I'll be the first one to call you a bastard, if I think you're bein' one; but you weren't and haven't been for a long time. It would'a been wrong not to say what was right."

"I promise you shall never regret your trust in me or your friends Inuyasha and I am glad you understand and you are correct; I do love you dearly and would hate to see your blood get the better of you. I despised what it did to you the first time." He received a shy but reserved smile in return; to Sesshoumaru it seemed as if the pup was a little preoccupied. But the two almost inseperable girls who seemed to have laid claim to his little brother, soon came over and asked him to join them. Inuyasha got up and walked off with one attached to each arm; as they laughed and joked with him. Inuyasha's aura brightened immediately and Sesshoumaru was relieved; his younger sibling could be so very intense sometimes.

Rin's aura on the other hand was most subdued. Inuyasha hadn't said anything to her since she had slapped his face and even when she'd apologised, he only nodded. She had seen the blood on his hakama the night before and had held the bowl for Kagura as she cleared it from his skin, before Sesshoumaru had taken her out. She knew that her Papa was strict with his pups; their youkai's had to be trained early to recognise the alpha and pack law, she even understood why it was harder for Inuyasha, as he had never had this as a small pup.

Kagura had explained to the distraught girl while they waited for the boys to come back from the study; that Inuyasha had unwisely been letting his youkai much nearer the surface than he should for his own safety and he did now know how to stop it. He'd also had a severe warning from Sesshoumaru earlier in the week, about his behaviour; should the Daiyoukai not have followed through, Inuyasha's youkai would have caused trouble. The pup knew this from when he'd been punished by Shingi all those years ago when he'd been given the option of staying in the West under the authority of his brother, or leaving to live free. Rin remembered that time; poor Inuyasha was learning a lot in a short time but as Kagura said, it had been his decision to do so and he was a strong pup.

Rin knew that Inuyasha had felt self conscious when he came out with Sesshoumaru; she knew his body language very well by now and her heart went out to him, surprising her by the depth of her sympathy. But when he didn't speak to her and only briefly glanced in her direction with his ears flat to his head, it was as if she could still see the reddened cheek and the look of shock as it had been the day before. Then when the two girls came and walked him away and he smiled at both of them, happier than he'd been all day; her heart felt like lead in her chest and she found it hard to breath.

She could see them now running and chasing, playing hide and seek; when suddenly she blushed profusely as her imagination supplied a graphic picture to her brain, she would hide and Inuyasha would seek and when he found her she would kiss him. Rin was by now so flustered, that she hadn't noticed as one of their friends had come to ask her to join them and she allowed him to pull her up; while all the time wondering what a true kiss was like. She knew that it was a sign of affection when shared by two adults and she had seen Papa and Mama 'kiss' and not the goodnight sort they gave to their pups.

By now everyone was dancing again and Rin could see Inuyasha moving gracefully to the music; his hair gently swinging and his eyes alight with the excercise. What were these feelings? It was not as if she hadn't seen him before; she'd slept in his arms for years and had never felt this hot and bothered, but the thought of being in his arms right now was making her have strange sensations in other more intimate parts of her body and she didn't understand. Perhaps she had lost track of time and her moon cycle was due; Rin knew that she always had peculiar emotions at those times and this feeling she had of wanting to cry, although it wasn't usual for her it wasn't unheard of either.

As Rin was dancing with her attentive friend, her mind was wondering about what Inuyasha was doing, when she spied him talking to his 'girls' as the pair of Inu females had become known. She overheard one of them say to the other;

"At least you can spot her now; when your other humans were here, I couldn't tell them apart with their same plain hair and looks." At the sentence Inuyasha turned guiltily to look at Rin, to see if she had heard the rather scathing remark; but she wouldn't give them that satisfaction and carried on dancing with her head held high, smiling at her partner. Inuyasha now felt badly; he knew that the girls hadn't meant her to hear them and were only being spiteful about her because of the slap she'd given him, but he was sure that Rin had heard.

However it obviously hadn't stopped her enjoying the company of the young man she was dancing with and Inuyasha felt sudden anger at the way she was acting, as though she'd not hurt his feelings the day before. She hadn't even spoken to him all day, or shown any concern about whether he was fully recovered now; all she seemed to care about was her dance with that stuck up Inu, who was too tall and too pretty and too full of himself just because he was dancing with Rin.

Inuyasha thought that Sesshoumaru should keep a better eye on his pup, or she could find herself with a reputation for being fickle; when you considered all the males she was willing to smile at, even if she was dancing. Which reminded him that she hadn't smiled at him for a while, since yesterday in fact; not that he missed her smile or anything, in fact he hardly noticed if she smiled or not. It was only that he had remembered for some reason that she smiled at him yesterday.

TBC


	57. Discoveries

Ch 57 Discoveries

Sesshoumaru and Kagura were taking note of both pups; seeing the glances and scowls on the faces of each and the inability, _not_ to look at each other surruptitiously. They spoke very softly together discussing the pair.

"It will not be long before this comes to a head, Kagura; I hope that the outcome is favourable, Inuyasha is usually his own worst enemy."

"Trust Rin, my love; she has a good understanding of your brother."

"Maybe, but does she understand herself at the moment; you saw her as she regarded him, she is confused."

"We cannot interfere Sesshou, only advise if asked and comfort if need be. We can't even Go-Between, until we're asked or we see the need to offer. At least we will have a good idea about the cause of any tears or tantrums in the near future."

"I must keep an eye on Inuyasha, his youkai could cause problems."

Meantime Rin was getting a bit alarmed at herself and was beginning to wonder if something strongly alcoholic had been put in the refreshing drink; her feelings towards Inuyasha were worrying. She had just thought about running her hands over his backside to see if the welts had really gone yet and laughing in her mind at how he would react if she did. Surely if she were sober she wouldn't even think of such a thing; but then again, he did have a nice wiggle and his whole back had that provocative sinewy spring to it and she knew what his arms felt like and how his eyes sparkled and his cheeks flushed and his lips parted and his fangs shone and his chest was strong and his stomach nice and flat and his...stop, stop. stop. That was far enough and anyway in his case anything else was just imagination.

Rin's dance partner was looking in surprise at her, as an Inu he could tell that she had suddenly had a rapid rise in temperature and her heart rate had jumped. He did not know the reason for such a thing yet; being only young himself, but he felt she should be returned to her family in case she passed out. Sesshoumaru thanked the youth for tending to his daughter's welfare and while Kagura kept the girl occupied, he checked her over himself and found out that she had now taken the next step to full maturity. Desire laced her scent and he nodded over her head at his mate.

Inuyasha had noticed of course that Rin had gone back to sit down and he hoped she was not overly tired; she had not yet danced with him and he was going to insist on one dance, just so that he could make sure he could warn her about being too free with her smiles to people who might get the wrong idea. He also noticed her flushed cheeks and could smell something about her that was different when he came to see that she was unharmed. Unlike the other youth, Inuyasha did recognise the scent; he'd had enough experience around Miroku and even Kagome a little, besides the times past when he had been the innocent cause of other's wrongful lusts, to realise that Rin was reacting to someone.

Once again he didn't realise that he was growling until Sesshoumaru pulled him away and over to the food; not letting him go until he stopped the low rumbling sound.

"This is your fault Sessh, I warned you."

"What precisely is my fault Inuyasha?"

"You know, you must be able to scent it better than me. I know what it is and it's your fault; you let Rin dance with just anybody and now...someone's done something to make her...well..."

"Of course I know that Rin has found someone attractive enough that she has felt desire for him; there is nothing wrong with it and it's completely natural and to be expected." His answer took the wind from Inuyasha's sails and the hanyou calmed down.

"Who is it Sessh, who is trying to take our Rin away from us?"

"No one as yet Inuyasha; it is an attraction at the moment and even if it were more, it would be for her to tell you, not myself."

"Tell me Sessh, does he like her the way that she is liking him...I'll find him and tell him to leave." Inuyasha was growling again and Sesshoumaru, trying not to smile at his little brother; tried to placate.

"He does like her, but as yet doesn't fully realise this and _you_ cannot tell who he is Inuyasha; he is young and his body does not give him away, even to himself."

"Is he just mucking her about then. If you don't do it then I shall, she's just setting herself up to get hurt."

"Inuyasha you must do as I and Kagura are doing and let the situation run it's course; we know what is going on and we will not interfere unless it is neccessary to do so. As of yet, it is not. Do I make myself clear; you will not go barging in and demand a name of Rin, it is her business only at the moment."

"Feh!" Alright so he wouldn't ask Rin; but that wouldn't stop him going around to his friends and taking discreet sniffs at their auras when they were dancing with her later that evening. If he let anyone else dance with her that is; he might just keep her safe by being the only one she was near for any time, Sesshoumaru would thank him later when Rin's eyes were opened to the fact that she was not yet ready to choose a mate. He was called from Sesshoumaru's attention by his girls and he waved and went over to them; not knowing that Rin's eyes followed him.

Kagura wanted her to stop worrying about the two girls, so she quickly said to Sesshoumaru;

"I wonder if either of those two catch our Pup Brother's fancy, which one would be good for him do you think?" Kagura was contemplating with her fan tapping against her chin and trying to hide a mischievous smirk.

"The answer is no my love; neither arouses Inuyasha's...'interest' as yet and as for which would be good for him, it is hard to tell, they are so alike."

"Surely he favours one over the other, he dances with the blue haired girl the most does he not?"

"I had not noticed my dear." Sesshoumaru wasn't sure what Kagura was up too; but he trusted her enough to know she would not be trying to hurt Rin by her speculation.

"Feh! neither would suit your brother, Papa." Stated Rin to the surprise of her parents, not the least because of the use of one of Inuyasha's expressions.

"Why, Rin?"

"Because they are too cultured, refined and protected. Inuyasha is wild and free; he likes to run and leap through the trees, those girls would suffocate him in stuffy carriages all the time. They have no idea of the freedom of just going on a whim, with the wind in your hair; they both turned him down when he offered them a run on his back. What do they really know of his life before; of hunting and fishing and eating your kill, of sleeping in trees or under the stars? They have nothing in common with your brother; but then they are pretty and would Inuyasha see beyond that if they made a play for him? I think Papa that if they did, you should seriously think about stopping it; before Inuyasha finds himself imprisoned in an ivory tower."

"Thank you Rin for the assessment; now why do you not go and join the others around the bonfire as it is the last but one evening. Do not forget it is the farewell ball tomorrow night." Sesshoumaru watched her as she went to the others and smiled wryly at Kagura;

"Now they have both recommended me to warn off the rivals for the other; in the other's best interest of course." He sighed and as they watched and joined in with the rest of the evening's entertainment, neither Rin nor Inuyasha gave their parents cause for concern; they smiled and occasionally danced with each other as normal. Well it looked like normal; but Rin was careful not to get overly close to Inuyasha until the strange substance that she must have inbibed was out of her system and Inuyasha was too concerned about scenting the air around her, to find out just who was having the effect on her and seeing if he could put a stop to it.

Later that evening there was a timid knock at Kaede's rooms and Rin entered when given permission. Kaede had many herbs at her immediate disposal and Rin told her of the suspicians she had that her drink had had a bad effect on her. Kaede asked her for her symptoms, which the blushing Rin gave without naming names. She did not need to, Kaede had seen it all before; besides having known the pair for many years now, while she and to some extent he, was growing up. But she looked the girl over; noting the natural pretty blush and shining eyes which only indicated she was happy, not drug or alcohol induced; now to tell her;

"Relax child, thy feelings are perfectly normal; ye have fallen in love with thy young hero and there is nothing wrong with that. It can be a rocky road, but there is nothing I can do for ye to take it away." Her voice was kind even if her words were blunt, she'd seen enough misunderstandings surrounding the young hanyou to add any more.

"These are real feelings? All of a sudden? You know who it is don't you Kaede?"

"Aye child, that I do and thy feelings of love are hardly sudden; ye have just not realised, ye have grown up and thy feelings have just grown up with ye. However a word of caution, do not push; if thy young man is not ready ye will have to wait, he has been hurt and is still young and not always trusting of emotions. Ye will need patience and understanding."

"That, I do understand."

"Do not overly worry, nature will take charge at the right time; trust thy parents with thy discovery, if ye need further advice. Thy mother loved thy father before the stubborn and arrogant young Lord recognised the fact, that he too loved her."

"I remember that too." Rin smiled. "One thing I do understand, is the nature of the Inu."

"That ye do, ye will not misunderstand thy friend's actions at least; even if he is not the easiest to get to know for others, thou already know him well. 'Twill work out, of that I'm sure." Kaede's words comforted Rin as her understanding of herself fell into place; she may need patience, but she had the time and she did know the Inu psyche. Fiercely loyal, possessive and passionate towards those they considered as belonging to them, Sesshoumaru had taught her as a small child that even though he was cold and calculating to all on the outside; he burned brightly inside and there had been the times when he'd smiled at her, that she knew he cared and would always protect her.

Inuyasha had also shown the same characteristics; although more openly, towards his small mismatched pack. They didn't always understand his former loyalties, but Rin did and she knew she could cope with the knowledge of his prior loves; always assuming that she became his choice and not one of those insipid, but pretty female Inus. She left the elderly Miko with her thanks and a kiss, ready by now for her bed; but she had only be gone for about five minutes when there was another knock on her door, this one more demanding than that of Rin.

Kaede hid her smile as Inuyasha called through;

"Oi Kaede are you still awake?"

"Of course Inuyasha, how can I help ye?" She watched the boy as he sniffed the air. "Have ye fully recovered from earlier pup, Kagura did not request pain medication; only the cleanser, I wondered whether or not Sesshoumaru had denied it to ye."

"Feh! I'm fine, I've had worse and from my brother; he did offer it but I refused."

"Ye are such a stubborn child sometimes; but we love ye anyway." Inuyasha recognised Kaede was only teasing and stuck his arms in his sleeves."If ye are well, how can I help ye boy?"

"Not me; Rin, she was in here wasn't she? What is the matter with her, is she ill? I knew that she would get sick and it's Sesshoumaru's fault, just wait till I tell him that Rin needed medicine."

"Inuyasha, start at the beginning, ye are rambling and I cannot keep up with ye. Rin came here but took no medication, she just wanted to talk to me."

"Did she tell you who the bastard is that's playing with her heart?"

"Nay boy, she mentioned no name and besides I shall speak no more of Rin's business to ye; ask her thyself if ye want to know."

"Feh! I only want to help her, she will make herself ill, falling for some runt; Sessh says that the whelp doesn't even know himself, that he likes her back."

"Thy brother thinks that the boy returns her affections?"

"Keh! but he says the pup is not yet ready for her."

"Then let nature take it's course Inuyasha. If thy brother has his eye on it, leave it to him." That was good news for Kaede, Sesshoumaru obviously knew what was going on and could be trusted to take charge. Inuyasha definitely cared for the girl by his actions and the slight jealousy that was apparent in his words; he just had to recognise this for himself. "Go to bed Inuyasha and leave things be or to your brother."

"Don't any of you care that Rin could have her heart broken? When she is going around all in tears, I shall know where to lay the blame." Then he left Kaede who shook her head; feeling sorry for the boy who sometimes couldn't see past the end of his nose, but who hated to see any woman in tears. Inuyasha went back thoughtfully to the family room, he was genuinely worried about Rin; she didn't know how sad being in love could make a person and he didn't want her hurt and the thought of her crying because someone was playing with her feelings, was nearly shattering.

Rin was asleep when he pulled her closely to him, as if he could protect her from herself and he sniffed her neck and hair letting her untouched scent calm him to sleep. He _**would**_ protect her he promised, she was important to him; she'd been his friend for a long time and had been a gentle comfort when he was in pain, even when he had been jealous of her. Those days were long gone and he remembered her love in so many little ways; the pictures, biscuits and smiling expressions, all jumbled together into the girl called Rin who was precious to them all. Not that he couldn't get exasperated with her; she shouldn't let someone affect her so much that she might soon leave them for another home, a mate's home.

When the morning came, Inuyasha felt a sense of relief. He'd greatly enjoyed having his friends to the Palace; but would be glad to get back to the peace of just his own family. Not only that, Rin would no longer be distracted by the unknown Inu who had touched her heart and aroused her desires. Just one more day to get through and the final ball, where he would hopefully work out who was Rin's secret; he snuffled her neck again without fully realising it and she woke up to feel his arms holding her tightly and his soft warm breath making chills go down her spine. As her scent changed due to her reaction, Inuyasha froze; Rin must be dreaming about the anonymous Inu and he had to swallow his anger.

Anyway it was time for her to wake and get up if they wanted breakfast and to not to get jumped on by the pups. For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, Rin kept away from Inuyasha. She stayed with the girls who'd become good friends and whom she wouldn't see for a while when they all went home and she studied them carefully. That evening she was going to ask her maids to give her a makeover so that she wouldn't be so plain and dark, as she had been described and she had been given a new kimono by Kagura to wear.

Rin studied herself in the mirror, she was bathed and trying to be objective about her appearance; but where she just saw her black hair and brown eyes, others could see the violet and indigo highlights that shone and lifted the colour of her hair and the sparkle that gave life to her large brown eyes. She knew that her figure was good and had been told she was very attractive by many of her partners; but she knew she was not as statuesque as many of the youkai girls, however she could do nothing about that.

When the maids had finished with her, she didn't fully recognise herself. Her face was powdered and rouged giving her colour in different places to the more natural ones she was used to. She had Kohl to enlarge her eyes and colour on their lids. Finally even her lip shape was changed to the fashionable pout; by the artful use of a red lip colour. Her hair was combed and pinned by combs and various gems and by the time she was fully dressed she looked like a doll who's expression was one amazed by the difference in herself.

As she made her way towards the Great Hall where the dancing was, Inuyasha passed her in a rush on his way to collect her; she smirked as it was obvious that he hadn't recognised her. Then suddenly she was grabbed strongly from behind and spun around to face him, the expression on his face was almost angry;

"Rin, what have you done to yourself?."

"I have just used makeup like your friends do; I did not wish to be quite so 'plain' for the final dance."

"Feh! It looks awful on you; I can't see your face properly, you look like all the others now. Wash it off instantly, What will Papa say?" Inuyasha didn't think of the girl's feelings by telling her she looked terrible but unlike Kagome, Rin didn't resort to tears; she became more determined.

"This is all for him isn't it? You have dressed up like this to please some young whelp who has no idea what you mean to him. You are going to get hurt Rin, he is not worthy of you."

"What would you know about it Inuyasha? I can dress up if I wish, I can dress for _who _I wish."

"So it's true." He murmered almost to himself and he felt terrified and annoyed at the same time, then before he knew it he had grabbed her in his arms crushing her to him and was growling in her ear; "You like this, do you? You want to be held like this by him, have him whisper in your ear, feel his body next to you as you dance?" He suited his actions to his words; his body gyrating against her and not knowing that his eyes were fluctuating between red and gold or that his claws and fangs were lengthening and his voice deepening.

Rin knew what was happening to Inuyasha but was unafraid; her own body delighting in the new sensations of his and causing her desire to become pronounced.

"Yes, yes I want all of that Inuyasha and more." She whispered huskily as she held him just as close to her.

"More, you want more; more like this?" Inuyasha took her face in his long clawed hands and gazed at her with his changing eyes, noting that she was completely unafraid.

He lowered his mouth to her's and kissed her; softly at first, belying the usually more ruthless actions of his almost transformation and then less chastely as they let their emotions lead them. Rin was soon returning the kiss and enjoying the feel of his growling appreciation. The kiss lasted for a while as they both enjoyed the taste of the other and as Inuyasha's eyes stayed more gold than red.

Then as she moved closer, she felt his body between them harden against her and he leapt away with a look of total shock and horror on his face.

TBC


	58. Natural Fears

Ch 58 Natural Fears

As he'd told Kagura, Sesshoumaru was keeping a close watch on his little brother and had observed from a safe distance where he knew he wouldn't be intruding on the conversation between Rin and Inuyasha. He'd winced at the way Inuyasha once again was able to put his foot in his mouth, when it came to speaking to someone he felt strongly about; even he knew you never told a woman you loved that she looked awful, when she was dressed for a party. He wasn't sure at first whether he should interfere, when the pup's youkai came very close to the surface and when he grabbed Rin; but she was not giving off any scent of fear, far from it. She moved in even closer to the boy, holding him tightly and then there was the kiss.

This was obviously the turning point but what had caused him to suddenly run? Sesshoumaru would not allow misunderstandings to develop between them as had been Inuyasha's past experiences with love; he would have to speak to both of them and get them to talk to each other. The step they had taken, had to be considered seriously; especially for the Inu nature and he did not want either to mess about with the feelings of the other. As the scent of Inuyasha's desire reached him, the youkai knew that the boy had only taken fright; he would have to find him, _after_ he made sure that Rin was not distressed at the sudden departure of her new found lover.

He need not have worried; far from being upset, Rin was positively grinning. Inuyasha's reaction to her and not any of those wimpy females was proof that her heart was true to her and not deceiving her. Rin understood what an erection was; she had dealt with herbs for men who had problems, she was innocent but not totally unknowledgeable. She knew why that had happened to Inuyasha and that it was because he had held and kissed her and it was a wonderful first kiss; even as inexperienced as she was, she could feel the desire and longing he had put into it.

She turned to Sesshoumaru with shining eyes full of love for him and his brother; she didn't need to tell him how elated she was, he'd known her for so long. He smiled at her and she ran to his arms and hugged him tight; surprising him and he found himself choked as he petted her hair. Then Rin ran back to her room where she pulled off the kimono and jumped into her bath; cleaning off all the makeup of which Inuyasha disapproved, she wouldn't always do as he wanted, but for now she was happy to please him. Her maids just smiled at the wreckage of their little doll, but it was up to her after all and they had to admit their mistress looked better without it all.

Once the girl was dry and dressed again in her Kimono, she went to the door where Ayame and Kouga were waiting for her to take her to the dance. There was no sign of her shy and embarrassed hanyou or her stoic Papa. Meantime Sesshoumaru had tracked his little brother down and had found the boy in the same little used area of the Palace that he had been found in before as a lost pup. He had his back to Sesshoumaru but was staring at the ceiling, remembering the time he'd been cold, damp and frightened. The same feeling of fear and trepidation was coursing through him now.

Sesshoumaru's nose warned him first and then his eyes took in the lengthened claws attached to the hands, Inuyasha had wrapped around himself. Cautiously approaching his brother, the Daiyoukai stopped a small distance away and addressed him from there.

"Are you in control Inuyasha, or are you likely to attack This Sesshoumaru?" A deep ironic chuckle greeted this statement. Inuyasha turned to face his brother and Sesshoumaru was faced with the fully transformed youkai; his red and blue eyes intense, but sane.

"Inuyasha not attack Alpha brother, never attack Alpha."

"At one time you would, in fact have done so. You are doing well with your training and this has helped your youkai recognise his pack position." Another chuckle. "You are also able now to communicate clearly, at one time this was not so and you would have destroyed yourself."

"Inuyasha never attack Sesshoumaru, only ever defend. Youkai always know position down in dirt, early training made Inuyasha youkai try to destroy self." He chuckled again and Sesshoumaru wasn't sure what the boy meant. He found the words disturbing and they needed clearing up.

"You have forgotten that you attacked me not long after your first transformation? I informed your companions that Tetsusaiga would seal the greater strength of your youkai."

"You called me and attack first. Inuyasha defend then I came. Hanyou Inuyasha was tired fighting forever; he decided to die so I keep fighting till make you kill me."

"Inuyasha _wanted_ to die at that time?"

"Yes, once he knew of me, I do what Inuyasha want always. He not always like what he does, he often want to die then."

"You have always known you are not alpha to me? You have never challenged me?"

"How could I not know? Inuyasha punished when he hid here, then always when you come; always make great pain, you try to kill Inuyasha youkai every time you see Inuyasha. Youkai still feel the pain, whip hurts, fists, sticks hurt, always pain when you try to kill Inuyasha youkai. Alpha hate Inuyasha youkai, not protect when baby; let youkai grow too strong and uncontrolled. Inuyasha always know that he not alpha over Sesshoumaru brother."

"What do you mean?" Sesshoumaru hadn't ever thought that the small pup Inuyasha's youkai might take it that he was being taught his position, the boy _had_ been trained; but completely the wrong way and unintentionally. He realised that the young Inuyasha's youkai had been more than subdued by his cruelty, it had been twisted and warped. The guilt screw turned again in his gut; his brother had not once deserved the awful things that had been done to him, whether by his brother or others.

"Have you something to protect?" The voice was uncannily like their father's and Sesshoumaru felt a frisson of unease run up his spine.

"How do you know that?"

"Tetsusaiga tell youkai blood when it seals. Father told Totousai build in control for blood in sword, told Totousai before he die and gave swords over. Knew Inuyasha youkai not get proper training in control, so sword have to seal to protect Inuyasha hanyou, protected young Inuyasha when Tetsusaiga in black pearl in eye. Knew Alpha brother refused protection for hanyou."

"Totousai was there when you were born?"

"Totousai always know when swords need him and he come. He got Father out of fire building. Father told him take swords knew he would die."

"Inuyasha...I..."

"Inuyasha know Alpha brother change. Alpha protect and train youkai now, not hurt Inuyasha so much anymore. Now youkai more control, hanyou stronger in charge. Balance is better even when blood still sometime too strong. Tetsusaiga help control; I can speak, now not kill Inuyasha by strength."

"Why are you here now, you were more hanyou when you left Rin?" There was a laugh as a reply to this.

"Inuyasha hanyou scared. Body reaction to Rin make her cross and Alpha brother cross; not happened like that before."

"Not at all?"

"Not like that and very strong feeling. Much more happen, Inuyasha doesn't know what happen." Sesshoumaru sighed, this was delicate ground.

"You don't know what happened to your body at all, it didn't respond to Kagome or Kikyou in the same way?"

"Not Kikyou, once respond for Kagome. Inuyasha know what it is, but not that it make him want to mate with Rin in hallway; very strong feeling. Inuyasha kiss Kagome but not make him want to do that then. Kiss Rin is different, body jump straight up and is strong, want to make Rin mate. Why? "

"Your body has awoken to normal desires Inuyasha; it has matured now and your depth of feeling is greater for Rin, than it was for either of the Miko's. That is not to say you didn't love them, but your love for Rin is more. For an Inu does not casually rut, unlike humans; the sensation you felt was a reaction only for a mate, your body would not respond to just anyone in that way. Why is Inuyasha hanyou afraid of me? Is that why he has let out his youkai because he feels he may be attacked, he has not had cause to be so for many years?"

"He is scared of what happened, Rin special girl to Alpha brother. Youkai stronger to take pain of Alpha anger; Inuyasha only hanyou, scared if pups come; Alpha not like weak pups. Hanyou knows he nothing to give new mate, no possessions. Scared to have to live in cave with mate; not safe for mate and pups. Anyway Rin like another Inu, Alpha know who; Inuyasha not know." The frankly honest youkai had no qualms at telling his Alpha all this jumble of his thoughts and Sesshoumaru could tell by the depth of Inuyasha's insecurities, he still held many secret fears. He held his hand out to Inuyasha and the hanyou youkai searched his brother's face deeply with his ruby eyes, before he took it in his own and came to sit at his brother's feet.

"I will not hurt you Inuyasha." The Daiyoukai promised. Sesshoumaru was also sitting, but in a chair and he hesitated before petting the youkai's hair and ears; he didn't know if the youkai would feel threatened. He need not have worried; Inuyasha positively preened and purred, then lay his head on his brother's knee further encouraging the caresses. This was illuminating to the elder sibling; he knew that Inuyasha enjoyed being petted but his brother didn't show this much pleasure normally, his youkai was far less inhibited.

"I am sorry for the way I treated you both when Inuyasha was a pup; I did so much wrong with you and him." It suddenly occured to him that he had done the same and perhaps even more damage to the human aspect of his brother as well. He would need to speak with that part of him too; it surprised him that he hadn't thought of that before.

"You speak like we different people. I am Inuyasha. I say 'he' for hanyou self."

"You are a separate facet of Inuyasha, that feels I hated you. I did not specifically; but I do wish I could do things again, but differently." Again the deep rumbling chuckle which Sesshoumaru could feel through his leg.

"It is changed now. That is what matters."

"Is that how the human element to you feels as well?"

"It is same Inuyasha, but more emotion; he feels more, I fight more."

"I need to speak to you as you normally are Inuyasha, come back to me now please." He could tell when his golden eyed brother had returned, the scent of apprehension was very apparent. "Do not fear me anymore Inuyasha; it causes me pain if you _still_ feel I could harm you." Inuyasha snuggled into his brother a bit more, as the petting continued and the scent of fear lessened. Sesshoumaru smiled. "Do you recall all you have said to me while your youkai was surfaced?"

"Yes, he is me; it is different to when I would let him overtake me in the past, then I couldn't stop him and didn't want to remember." The voice however was softer and not so sure sounding.

"I wish to answer your concerns Inuyasha, please just listen to me. Rin is indeed special to me and Kagura; so are you, you are not just an anything; you are a hanyou, my pup and brother whom I love . I have no objection if you want to mate with Rin and _any_ pups of yours, whether by Rin or not, will always be loved; this I promise and you will always have a home here while you wish it. You are a Prince of the West, Inuyasha; eventually you will take up your duties and you are well able to support a family already with your entitled allowance. But even if you mated today, you are still our pup; under our care and will be for many years yet, that will not change."

"It doesn't matter anyway Sesshoumaru, Rin is in love with someone already or have you forgotten; besides it is so sudden, I've never thought of her that way before, it can't be right."

"Come back to the party and your guests for tonight and you and she should talk together tomorrow; you must at least explain that kiss to her."

"She must hate me now; I took advantage of her, using my strength against her. If I had no control of my youkai what else could I have forced her to do?"

"Do not worry over that Inuyasha, it is something that had been taken into account and why I was on hand in case your control was not so strong. As it is I am so very pleased with your progress, especially in light of what you told me earlier. You are truly a credit to us all, your learning in all aspects of your life make us proud to be your parents." Before Inuyasha could get maudlin, Sesshoumaru pulled him to his feet and insisted he join them at the dance; ignoring the lagging brother who was certain that Rin would be dancing with her new love and refusing to acknowledge to himself, why he was bothered by the thought.

Inuyasha's eyes found Rin immediately; she had washed off the makeup and looked like a jewel, her smile dazzling as she danced and swirled amid the people moving to the music. He realised with shock that he was wondering what her kiss tasted like; now that her mouth was not painted red and looked fresh and natural with her delightful smile. He was blushing at the thought when she in turn noticed he had arrived; if Inuyasha had thought her smile bright before, it was nothing to the brilliance it had when she saw him. Their eyes locked and Inuyasha's heart flipped in his chest and he could no longer ignore the pull that Rin was having on him.

But he'd been spied by his friends and once again the two girls commandeered his arms and attention, but not before he noticed that Rin's smile had dimmed. He was still determined to find out who the Inu was who was tempting Rin, but although he could tell that she felt desire sometimes he couldn't tell who it was for; it seemed that when he came close to her when dancing, she would be with one youkai and then it would be the same with another. He was baffled and annoyed, especially as he had now been forced to think of her in the terms of mate and worse it might mean becoming a rival with one of his new friends.

But did he want a mate, someone who would occupy the place Kagome was to have had? Was he ready to replace her in his heart with another? It may be one thing for his body or even his youkai to find that it was ready for a mate, but he was still very young for such an irreversible decision. He thought about Rin; true they were both considered as the pups of Sesshoumaru and Kagura, even by themselves. However he had never truly felt she was like a little sister to him and he knew that he loved her in some way; he found himself thinking of so much, that he had to be called back by the girls he was trying to dance with.

They had a lot in common, devotion and love for Sesshoumaru since they were very small and they'd done a lot of things together that had been great fun; she had taught him how to play and work together, the frog pond had been really great and they'd joined together to make things for their parents. He would really miss her should she find another to mate and leave them, he knew that much; but that was not enough to mate her, he couldn't do it just to keep her close, it wouldn't be fair on either of them.

He also had to acknowledge that he did feel lonely at times; not for general company, as he was not ever far away from anyone whom he wanted to see or from whom he needed assurance. But he did have to admit there were times especially recently, when he had felt lonely for a soul mate and now he thought more about it, Rin with her laughing eyes and smiles made him feel warm and safe. She had been supportive when he'd needed it, he remembered her tears when he'd been punished each time; she'd never condemned him or laughed and had taken good care of him, much as Kagome had.

Yet although there were similarities in the girls there were vast differences; Kagome had been like him in that she was fiery and temperamental, they'd sparked against one another in a love or exasperated kind of way. She'd never been dull and he hadn't always know how she would take his words; whether he would say something that would cause her to flee from him down the well or 'sit' him into the hard earth. Although it had rarely hurt him too much, it was extremely humiliating; especially in front of others like Kouga and he'd hated it when the rest of them would set up the situations for her to do that. It had hurt his feelings that he was the only one who was treated so harshly; yes, he could honestly say he didn't miss the rosary, but Kagome was usually loving and kind as well and had accepted him as he was.

Rin though was more consistent in her feelings; she was calmer, peaceful and he thought she probably understood his nature and him better overall. She didn't get anywhere near so cross with him and he had found it consoling on several occasions to just have her sit silently next to him, while she waited for him to speak and open up; rather than nag him to do so. Until now he thought that might have just been kind and polite interest; but today when he had kissed her and his body reacted so strongly, he had felt on top of the world for a few seconds until the shame of that reaction set in. But her kiss...her smile...the feel of her filling his arms; it was as if the final but huge piece of the jigsaw, of all that his life required was now centred in Rin.

Whatever happened now, their relationship had changed; either she would soon leave or she would be around tempting him, unless she was angry with him and then perhaps they could eventually let it die a natural death over time. Inuyasha saw her again as her partner waltzed her into view and his heart clenched again; as if his body was objecting to her being with someone other than him. But now his mind was agreeing with his body and he knew they would have to talk; the prospect of which filled him with dread, as talking about his feelings was not his strongest ability. It had got him into so much trouble and misunderstanding with Kagome.

The evening went by and was a great success on the whole; Rin and Inuyasha gravitated through the course of the night towards one another and were dancing closely in each other's arms by the time that morning dawned. For Inuyasha it felt strangely right holding her; Rin's body fit against his perfectly and the intriguing curves pressed closely against him, while their hidden secrets tantalized him. Had he known, Rin's knowing little smirk meant that the same thing was happening to her.

Lady Mother was vastly amused at the sight; she had watched them for some time as they were joined on the floor by some of the older couples, Sesshoumaru and Kagura, Kouga and Ayame amongst them. Then when the boys came to sit down with their pregnant mates, to rest; she said how strange it was that the ideal partner for Inuyasha was right under his nose the whole time. The adults knew already what the younger two still had to learn; they were soul mates who had been finely honing their relationship over the years under the freedom, protection and safety of West and his allies.

In the early morning light, they all retired to the futon to sleep; far too tired and happy to be concerned about new found feelings or questions that needed an answer. They all just tucked up sleeping soundly; until lunchtime, when they had to be good hosts to feed their guests and bid them goodbye. The week had been a success on the whole; apart from Inuyasha's trouble and all the friendships had been strengthened.

TBC


	59. Advice and a Decision

Ch 59 Advice and a Decision

After lunch and when everyone had gone, apart from the royal wolves; it was noticed that the store of medicinal herbs had been depleted and Rin, along with a couple of guards went to obtain more from Jinenji's field. She was to stay overnight as company for the elderly pair of maiden sisters that had been grateful for a home, in return for acting as housekeepers for the horse hanyou; not that there was much to do, but Jinenji was also happy to have them there. They spoiled him, unafraid of his form and eased the loss of his mother.

But they dearly loved gossip and Rin knew that she would never be let go, until all the details and minutia had been discussed about the week of partying that had been happening. They quizzed her mercilessly about her conquests over the young men and then knew they had hit gold when she blushed crimson; but she wouldn't be drawn and they had to make do with guesswork and much laughter. The two were gentle though and meant no harm, so the evening flew by with Jinenji mainly silent but contented; as he sat in the corner, listening to the good natured teasing.

He was remembering the eager and determined little waif that had come looking for a plant to cure Sesshoumaru's little retainer; remembering the bright eyes in the fearless little face that had looked under his blanket at him. He'd thought how strange that the famed ruthless youkai known to all as Sesshoumaru, was able to make this young child happy and contented. Now it was clear that she had found happiness of another sort at the Palace and he thought he knew who it could be; but he would keep his own counsel and be happy in private, until he could congratulate them both if it became announced.

Back in the Palace, Inuyasha made himself busy; keeping out of sight and Rin's way, only to find out that she had left straight after lunch. He was irrationally annoyed about this fact, she had not told him she was leaving; so sighing heavily about the trickery of women in general, he went to find Kaede and bumped into Kouga first. Since Kouga and Ayame had cubs, the wolf was shocked at how young his onetime rival had been. Considering the strength and determination that Inuyasha had always shown it was incredible; but looking back, he could now see where the cub side had often shone through.

The language and brashness, the namecalling with which he had joined in were pure adolescent in reality and he felt a little abashed when he recalled sinking to the level of a cub; when he should have acted more his actual age, which was in fact quite a few years older. Now though he gave an unnerving grin and bowled Inuyasha over, taking the hanyou by surprise. But Inuyasha got up sharply from the roll and taking a quick glance appraising the situation; he charged at Kouga who was waiting for him. The brawl lasted a good few minutes until Kouga sat up laughing.

"I've missed catching you on the hop Mutt Face."

"Feh!"

"Ayame and I are off now; back to our brood."

"Keh! Look after her Wimpy Wolf; she's a good mate for you."

"I look forward to an announcement of your own Inuyasha; in the not too distant future."

"Feh!"

"Kagome would want you to be happy cub; I knew her well enough to say that. If not, I'd not want to be around when she 'sat' you to oblivion; or...perhaps I would." He smiled, but there was a serious undertone to it. Inuyasha looked darkly at him for a moment.

"I know she would want me not to carry on mourning her, but it is sometimes difficult."

"It won't get any easier if you put her on a pedestal either. Listen and know that I speak from experience. You _can_ move on and to better things; not the same and not to replace the prior love, as you should be _well_ aware. There's a girl for you, one who will cherish you and warm your bed; give you the pups you desire and one who you will be devoted too. Don't be blind and push her away by living and dreaming in the past; go forward with her. There, that was way too profound for me normally even if it is true; now I'll say goodbye and be off." And he was, leaving a pensive Inuyasha to carry on with his visit to Kaede.

Kaede was not surprised to see the young hanyou again; she was in her garden wrapped in her soft blue shawl and enjoying the sun, when he came to her. She knew that he wished to talk and ask questions; but she waited until he was ready, as she understood him well and knew he would not respond to a direct question from her. However Kaede had to smile at how well Sesshoumaru knew his little brother; he had warned her that he thought Inuyasha would come to her for advice, because Rin was human and he gave her permission to answer all of the boy's questions and include the Daiyoukai had learnt from Midoriko, if she thought it wise.

She also was touched at the trust the Youkai Lord had placed in her, herself and she knew that between them they wouldn't fail the young couple. As she waited, Kaede pottered around and spoke generally of the herbs she'd got and the ones that Rin was going to replace; then she invited him to stay for a cup of tea which she'd asked her two maids to prepare. Inuyasha was so unusually silent and yet intense that Kaede knew he was finding it hard to broach the subject closest to his heart. She took pity on him.

"Child, surely ye can trust me now. I know ye want to talk to me about something and ye know I'll not steer ye wrong."

"Feh! It's not so simple Old Lady." Inuyasha huffed and Kaede felt sorry for him, because it was simple and he was making it difficult for himself. But this was nothing new for him; although there were no hindrances to his pursuing Rin or any girl, he had a home and family to help him this time. Kaede was not ignorant of his nature or why he found it hard to give in to his latent desire, but he was not an easy one to help.

"Try me boy, tell me what has happened to ye. I felt thy aura change yesterday, I know ye transformed; why not start from what caused that to happen?"

"I was...was afraid."

"Of what child? Thy brother will not let anything harm ye."

"I thought I had made him angry, with Rin." The last two words were said so softly that she could hardly hear him and yet they spoke volumes, telling her as much as if he'd shouted them. "But I hadn't...made either of them angry. I had control Kaede, no one was in danger."

"I know that lad, but I would guess then that ye kissed the girl; it's about time ye did too."

"Sessh told you?"

"Nay, Inuyasha; do ye forget I have seen ye when ye were in love, twice before? Ye have followed the girl with thy eyes for some time now. I take it that ye have physically matured and there has been some cause for ye to be embarrassed."

"How would you guess that...she didn't say about _that _did she?" Inuyasha's cheeks were scarlet and Kaede reached over to pat him on the hand. She got him some more tea and told him to listen; as she explained that although his body was now more physically mature, it did not mean that he was completely mature in all ways. The body needs time to adjust. Had he never met either Miko and been brought up in his brother's household from the beginning, he would only now be finding out about physical relationships.

"I loved Kikyou and Kagome...I was able to show them that."

"Aye, ye did, I know ye shared a kiss with Kikyou, but it was not the same as the one ye had with Rin. Thy human aspect has watched humans over the years child, it knows what is expected of a human and has acted accordingly; thy youkai has let it, as it knew no different. Now it would not let ye be casual; ye will only react to a mate in such a strong way. Ye are hanyou and so able to fall in love in the human way at first, with Kikyou and then Kagome and thy honour would insist ye carry out thy plans with either; but as each was thwarted, ye have had time to mature enough to love as the youkai in ye, would love.

"It does not degrade either of thy previous loves, to love another enough to take her as thy mate Inuyasha; the sister I knew and the child that I loved as my own, neither would deny ye the comfort of a mate for the rest of thy life."

"Kaede, I still miss them, how can I offer anything of myself to anyone."

"Thou must work that out with the girl thou loves now. But I can tell ye this, Midoriko acknowledged thy love for Kagome and knew ye would be satisfied in a life with her, but she did tell thy brother that she was not thy soul mate; the one to complete ye. The reason she gave was that Kagome had nearly fully matured and ye still had a long way to go, till ye were through childhood. I think she was correct, Kagome should have removed the rosary many moons before ye defeated Naraku; as she didn't, she would use it instead of words to win her way. Lasting happiness cannot be built on force, resentment is sure to follow; so take it as learning and find your soul mate, be she Rin or another."

"Sesshoumaru was told that? Did Midoriko say who?" Inuyasha was shocked at this revelation, yet as an Inu he could tell she was not stretching or evading the truth.

"She did not say; only that there was one such and ye would find her. Consider Inuyasha, has Rin ever wished she had a rosary for ye like Kagome?"

"No, she has never wished to subdue me." His answer was immediate and indignant, but Kaede smiled knowingly at him;

"Exactly, for many years she and ye have grown side by side in friendship and now love; should ye choose her as a mate now or in the future, I can safely say that none of those who love ye will be in the least bit surprised."

"She already has her eyes and mind on someone Kaede, who am I to interfere?"

"She has her eyes on ye, silly child; it is ye that causes her to grow heated." She smiled as realisation sunk in.

"You all knew?" He accused; his eyes wide and he blushed furiously as he thought of everyone knowing except him.

"Some things have always been right under thy nose child, but we cannot interfere; ye must understand, we love ye both and ye must do this for thyself. It is for the pair of ye to learn to love and decide; if thou are right for each other."

"Feh! O.K. I'll talk to her when she gets back and I'll tell her that there will be no running off again,unless I know where she is going."

"That will be sure to gain her favour indeed." Kaede remarked drily. "But I am sure Rin will know how to understand ye; she understood thy brother for many years before even he did." She found that very amusing and laughed heartily; before bidding Inuyasha goodbye, so that she could prepare herself for the evening meal. When they all met up for dinner, Rin's absence was keenly felt by all; the girl was cheerful and lively and yet knew when to be quiet and calm. A near lifetime with Sesshoumaru had trained her natural character, but not crushed it; he had never been cruel to her, in fact it was she who had helped him to mellow.

That night in the futon, Sesshoumaru was awakened by Inuyasha's restlessness; his baby brother was finding it difficult to stay asleep without Rin in his arms, even though it was still an innocent embrace. The need to hold her was strong and now instinctive, she was comfort and familiar; giving him a sense of wellbeing and the loss of her was disturbing him. Sesshoumaru petted his head whenever he moved and that surficed for the time being and he pondered on the fact that Inuyasha's youkai had moved faster than they had all thought. Then he realised the truth of Kaede's words, when she hinted that his human side was also influencing him too; apart from the desire that was now almost his nature, not to be alone.

When the next morning came and Rin was due home; Inuyasha was waiting and watching for her, he was older now and knew they needed to talk. So when she arrived, she was surprised to be greeted by the hanyou; who after she had handed over the herbs, invited her to accompany him to the willow near their frog pond. He had prepared something to say in his mind; but as usual when it mattered a lot to him, it never came out right. Taking her by the hand he pulled her down to sit next to him; which she did fairly elegantly and sat watching him.

"Rin we gotta talk." Then he was silent as Rin waited patiently and further down the garden, their anxious guardians also waited for the monumental words. Inuyasha knew that Sesshoumaru and Kagura were also around, but they were far enough away not to interfere with his privacy; or so he thought, having never fully seen the more gentle aspects to which Kagura could use her fan. The two youkai were taking no chances; they needed to know how this discussion went in case they had to pick up the pieces, therefore Kagura adjusted the breeze so that any words spoken would be carried to her mate's acute hearing.

"Rin, I kissed you..."

"Yes Inuyasha, I did notice that...it was very pleasant." Rin knew that she mustn't do anything that would make her hanyou feel that she was laughing _at_ him; however fondly or gently, but he did sometimes make it a difficult resolution to keep.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for what happened...no self control. I didn't know it would happen like that..." He was starting to worry about what he was going to say next and Rin was trying to work out the meaning of what he already _had_ said. She thought she understood and she smiled reassuringly. She and Jinenji had sat out last night under the stars and he had good advice for her. He knew who it was who had captured her heart and she confirmed it making him happy, as he was fond of both of them; but he said that she would have to be prepared for Inuyasha's shyness and awkwardness.

He had seen the evidence of both; he had observed the boy almost quail, if he suspected Kagome's wrath at his words and yet he was always tongue-tied when he'd tried to talk seriously. Jinenji then said that it would do for Rin to be bold and not reserved, when they spoke; or Inuyasha would never get anywhere near what he really wanted to say. The child who came and spoke to him sternly but respectfully that day long ago and who fearlessly went into the unknown danger for a friend; was easily up to the task of helping a bashful and nervous pup through a difficult speech.

Jinenji was right, Rin had no qualms about being assertive, it was just that she did it differently to Kagome and with greater knowledge of her subject by now.

"Did _you_ enjoy it Inuyasha? Did I kiss you back properly?" She watched the deep blush creep up his face. "I think that the answer is obvious to me."

"Yes." He whispered. "You know I did...It's just, that I don't know why it happened...Oh, I mean I do know why; but I'm not sure if...It's a big thing, lifetime commitment and I still...haven't forgotten..." he trailed off; looking miserable at his inadequate explanation. But Rin was used to sifting through Inuyasha's words and she just sat calmly which surprised him; he remembered vividly Kagome's reactions to his half formed sentences, when he would be flung to the ground face first and left to stew while she stormed off until he apologised in his own way.

"Inuyasha, can I ask you some questions and will you promise to answer me truthfully with no evasion? You owe me that I think." Rin looked at him straight in the eyes to get her answer and after some time, he nodded. She had planned her questions already on the evening before, thinking that they might be needed to search out what she already knew would be his concerns.

"You seemed angry with me when you met me and told me you didn't...like my makeup?"

"Not angry...with you anyway."

"With those I danced with then. You seemed a bit jealous, I know I was with your girls; simpering vapid things, who I know are very nice when they are with the other girls, but they made me mad when they wouldn't let you go."

"I thought you liked one of my male friends and were setting yourself up to get hurt; it made me mad and yes...a bit jealous I s'pose. But I have no right to stop you, I have nothing to offer a mate."

"You are wrong Inuyasha, you have plenty to offer a mate." She spoke in a husky voice and leaned in to kiss him again; only this time she took charge, running her tongue over his fangs before pushing her way in. Inuyasha was taken aback, but soon couldn't help but respond and take domination over the kiss; leaning above her as she lay back on the pillowy grass. They both stared at each other for a long moment after the kiss ended and then did it all again; until Inuyasha came to his senses and sat up shaking his head. Rin smiled again;

"You worry you cannot forget Kikyou and Kagome don't you? Why would you forget them? Between them they freed your heart and soul, giving you a reason to live; I shall be forever grateful for that, as are Mama and Papa. I do not ask you to dishonour their memories by trying to forget your love for them; but I ask that you consider that you can build on that love. Kagome I know hurt you by some of her own jealousy, not understanding fully your loyal Inu nature; but I do and I am older than she, hopefully more secure and a bit wiser. Can we just give courtship a try, see if things could work between us?"

"I do not want to hurt you Rin."

"It would not; as long as I knew you were not just toying with me. Do you think you like me enough to at least consider me as a mate?"

"I know I _love _you Rin; if you are sure...I would like to court you?" The words were barely out of his mouth, when she dived on top of him and he found out that kisses just get better and this time he was more prepared for his reaction. Hand in hand they went in together to lunch and Inuyasha asked formally of his surrogate parents, for permission to court their daughter; with a view to mating her when they were both ready, at a later date. Permission was happily granted and dinner that night was a special; to celebrate that hopefully Inuyasha was ready and able to move on.

TBC


	60. A Retrograde Step

Ch 60 A Retrograde Step

Later that week was Inuyasha's human night and Sesshoumaru wanted to talk to the human element of his brother in the same way he had with the youkai; although when the human approached his brother, the youkai was surprised at the almost shy boy who found it difficult to look at him. With his new understanding of these different aspects of his brother's personality; Sesshoumaru realised that in the years that the pup had now lived here, he had not really spoken to the hanyou much on the moonless night. Inuyasha tended to keep away once the sun had set by force of habit and was quite quiet by nature; even at bedtime, he didn't speak much.

"Inuyasha, will you not look at me brother?" He was smiling when his brother's amethyst eyes glanced up at him in surprise. Sesshoumaru had a sudden feeling of shock as if he'd been doused in cold water; this was the first time that he'd truly looked at the adult Inuyasha, which was he thought profoundly telling. He had never realised just how like Izayoi he looked in this form; not identical by any means, but with enough of a resemblance to make him recall the beautiful girl, with whom his father had sired this child.

"I did not realise that you are bashful as a human, Inuyasha; I told you that I wished to make amends with this aspect of yourself as well as the youkai and your blended self. I have never really spoken very much with you on the moonless night Inuyasha and I don't truly know if you think or are different in any way to how you are normally."

"Feh! I stay away and try not to annoy you when I'm human." The voice was nearly the same except for a softer edge.

"Even now, when you have lived here under my care and as my pup; you are still wary of me?" Sesshoumaru felt slighted by this.

"No, I'm not worried by you, I...I thought I was doing you a favour.

"I do not follow your reasoning Little Pup Brother." He tried not to be concerned when the boy turned away from him.

"I'm human ain't I? Just 'cos you have changed your attitude to me and I am happy, that don't mean you still want to be reminded of my humanity; I mean I am the pollutant, the weakness. I hate it myself, so's I didn't think you'd like it any better." He stared straight at his older brother and their differences had never been so apparant to either; the tall and strong silver haired, golden eyed, ethereal youkai and the slighter, dark haired and violet eyed, all too human boy. Sesshoumaru was dismayed at the still self destructive, characteristic of Inuyasha.

How long would it be before Inuyasha's insecurities and dark thoughts would be excorsized? Would they ever be completely gone and how much damage could one person cope with?" Sesshoumaru pulled the human to him and studied his features, much to the surprise of the child.

"I do not want you to have any more concerns about that Inuyasha; I have accepted all of you for quite a few years now although as you know, it was only recently that I was informed that your elements had fears of their own. For that I am to blame and am just as sorry at making your human life intolerable as your youkai and hanyou life. I do not hate you as a human at all and you are not weak or a pollutant. Your human side is as welcome as the rest of you and it reminds me of your mother; strange how your eyes in both forms, resemble your parents."

"You do not despise my human form?" Was the astonished question. The boy soon found himself pressed close to Sesshoumaru's heart while the youkai clutched him tightly;

"I do not Inuyasha, I love you dearly; please try to always remember this and ask if you are unsure." At this reassurance Inuyasha returned the hug gladly, content to stay for a while just sitting in his brother's lap like a small pup before it was time for bed. Looking at the two sleeping humans in the futon that night, Sesshoumaru was struck by how different two beings could look; gender aside, when they both had similar colouring and how different one person could look within himself, when the change washed over his brother at sunrise.

The courtship of the young couple now seemed to happen quite quickly and going on their past experience of Inuyasha, surprising; almost every one had expected there to be some period of readjustment with misunderstandings on both parts. They were expecting tears from Rin or a distraught hanyou hiding in his tree, fairly often; but so far it was not the case. Inuyasha found that he could talk to Rin quite easily; he had been doing so for years and she was not confrontational, never bruising his ego. If Rin wanted something, she usually got it purely by persuading Inuyasha and listening to his reasons.

This in turn was different for him, the women he'd known would only do as he asked if they fought him about it with 'sits' and tears or threats; rarely asking why he wanted or didn't want something. He had often swallowed his pride for the quiet life; arguing verbally was not his strong point and usually ended up in him being stubborn and pig headed. But he trusted Rin to listen to him and she was sensible with her own desires; giving him the benefit of the intelligence that he had so often had to hide in the past.

She had been the same with Sesshoumaru, since a small child when she had learned about the differences of youkai to humans; accepting them and learning how to communicate. This knowledge she had naturally transferred to Inuyasha, who although hanyou had strong youkai instincts. For too long he'd been thought of as either sub youkai or human, often worse than an animal; or had travelled with humans who had no real idea of the youkai nature and had treated him much as an often sulky, morose human, with super powers.

Inuyasha in turn had no idea of how to correct this image or even know about it; because his only contact with anyone before his companions other than Kikyou, had been blighted and nearly non existent. Now though with Rin, if he wanted to be silent and sit in his tree watching the clouds and thinking; she would sit and paint or sew at the foot of the tree, completely unconcerned that his silence meant that he might be angry. After all, hadn't Sesshoumaru done exactly the same thing? Often leaving her and Jaken for many hours alone, while he walked off without a word; or stood on the brow of a hill staring at the moon, in silent contemplation.

He had never failed them and had always come back and she could see in his eyes that he'd been refreshed by his time to gather his thoughts uninterrupted. Inuyasha would do the same thing and if it were her he was thinking about, she would rather he came to a proper decision on what she meant to him; than if he just tried to please her. A long lifetime of regrets, living together as a lie; would be worse than a few intense pains now if they split up.

Unbeknown but not unsuspected, _all_ the adults were keeping a weather eye out on the young pair; but they were not to interfere, however they were to be available for advice if needed. There was of course good natured teasing; but the couple could escape if they wished, to another part of the Palace and all were under the authority of their Lord **not** to make either of them uneasy. Inuyasha's self esteem was not very deep and could easily be squashed and then they would all suffer from his moods and it could still take weeks or months to reassure him.

Neither however neglected their duties; Rin still studied her herblore and would go wherever she was needed and Inuyasha still spent the afternoons under his brother's tutorage for lessons, or in practical skills if he needed to attend meetings. Bedtimes hadn't changed either; no inappropriate behaviour could be carried on under Sesshoumaru's nose, even if they'd wanted to. But they didn't, there was a time and place for intimacy and they had reached neither yet in their relationship; Inuyasha would only take her in mating, he had no rights to her until then.

But neither was it all work, the pair were given plenty of time to be alone; or at least chaperoned from a distance, so they could talk and be together more privately. Not that there was much for either to find out about the other's tastes and dislikes; or even their personalities under any circumstances. These were well known by now to both of them; but there was need for both to share their deepest levels, some of the things that Inuyasha could now share with Rin had never been possible to tell Sesshoumaru.

He had quickly found that Rin could draw out his darkest thoughts and fears; purely by listening and understanding and that it was possible to have loved someone who caused great personal pain. He could explain to her the depths of despair he had felt at times, the agonies of mind and body that no child should suffer but he had; without causing her to loathe his brother for his part in much of them. He had never wanted to cause others to hate Sesshoumaru on his behalf, he could do it himself if he wanted and to tell the Daiyoukai now all he'd felt and thought at the time; caused his brother such guilt that Inuyasha couldn't bear it.

But Rin knew his brother and how he had felt about his hanyou sibling, she also knew that Sesshoumaru often left his own little group to check on his brother to make sure that he was not in too much trouble even when they searched for Naraku. This was news to Inuyasha, he had thought that Sesshoumaru had often turned up at the most opportune times for which he had been secretly grateful; but had not considered that he might be looking after him albeit from a distance. However it fit all he now knew of his brother's care for him in the past.

Speaking to Rin was like getting rid of the deep rooted poison, she had known herself what it was to be a tormented orphaned child; alone and scared with no one to care or help, totally dependent on herself if she were ill or hungry. When he said he'd been starving, she knew he didn't mean just hungry; she understood biting cold, night fears, sounds, lack of any love or comfort with empathy, not sympathy or pity. She too had had to force herself daily, to get up and survive another day at a time. For the first time in his life and hers, someone else understood completely and the results were cathartic for both; they were able to share their tears and heal together.

Inuyasha had also been able to tell her of his most awful times when he was so vulnerable and hating himself for it; the way his body would become traitorous and freeze instead of allowing him to run and she was not appalled or surprised when he suddenly vomited, purely because of memory recall. Although, as she helped Inuyasha to his feet; they were both swept up by Sesshoumaru, whose instincts to care for his pups had been triggered once again by Inuyasha's reaction. He was never far away from either of them when they went to the tree to talk; knowing that that was where they spoke their deepest secrets to each other and he had overheard all of these by now.

It was not that he was wishing to pry into their lives because he was a control freak, but he needed to know everything about his brother's state of mind; to learn how to act and help him. He too had realised that Inuyasha still had traumatic events that he had buried deeply and Sesshoumaru didn't ever want to be the cause of more pain because of ignorance. In fact it took a great deal of his control not to interfere; when he knew that either had become upset, because of their reminiscing. He only wanted his brother to heal; the bleak picture of black misery that Setsuzentaru had painted of the boy's mind when he'd looked into his subconscious, still haunted the youkai brother.

Taking them both back to their rooms and baths he hovered like a mother hen until they came back refreshed and clean, then asked what had caused the upset; not wanting either of them to know that he often listened in to their conversations. On hearing Inuyasha's self effacing whisper _'memories', _Sesshoumaru decided to take the afternoon off and join the whole family in a picnic at their playground and ordered a special picnic. It had the desired effect and they all benefited from the change of pace and the pups found the sight of Papa and Inuyasha on the see-saw highly amusing.

In the next few months, there was only one time when things got rough and it was not between Rin and Inuyasha; but a slight contretemps between the brothers. After Kagura gave birth to a little daughter they called Takara, there was great rejoicing once again in the Palace. The child was another carbon copy of her father who was exceedingly pleased, to go by the smirk on his face. Kagura had jokingly bemoaned the fact that none of the children so far were dark like she, but the Inu gene was too dominant to allow that; all those of Inu descent had some version of the pale hair and had done so for generations.

Sesshoumaru was very busy with the new pup and his other responsibilities and he had called off the afternoon lessons with Inuyasha for a while. Inuyasha understood but felt a bit sad, however it did free him up to be with Rin more and they took several trips out of the Palace to visit friends. Both of them liked to travel freely and the guards were so much a part of the package now, that neither really noticed them; they were unobtrusive unless needed, not that there had been any attacks but sometimes there had been need to interrupt the couple from going too far.

When that happened, they usually walked off smirking as Inuyasha cursed them colourfully for being there; but he knew that there would be trouble if he disobeyed, he would have to face Sesshoumaru or Shingi. The fact that he was courting would'nt count; he was still a pup for another fifty or so years and Inuyasha knew that even after that, if Sesshoumaru decided he was in the wrong...he chuckled, once a pup always a pup. But generally Inuyasha felt more at peace and complete than he had ever done before and it was never long before his better nature got the better of him.

Rin travelled on his back in a similar manner to Kagome and he had to admit that the feeling was very satisfying, especially if she pressed herself to him or kissed the back of his neck under his mane. Both their bodies were becoming more aware of the other as their minds and hearts too, became more closely enmeshed; they had never really argued seriously, but they could talk and discuss. This was refreshing for Inuyasha who in truth hated dissension, even when able quite well to contribute to it; but he had since learned that persuasive speech was far better at winning your point, Sesshoumaru and Grandmother had taught him this and Rin was in any case a natural.

One time they went to the the slayer's village to inform their friends that they were formally courting now; Sango insisted that they stay for a few days and let them all celebrate, to which they eagerly accepted. Miroku though was thoroughly amused at the number of guards that had escorted them; knowing exactly why Sesshoumaru had sent so many and he couldn't help making suggestive remarks to his friend, which had both Inuyasha and Rin red as cherries.

To be fair to Miroku, he'd not had such an opportunity drop into his lap for a long time; but he and Sango were truly happy to see the more contented expression on Inuyasha's face. This relationship was definately good for him and Rin, she too was blossoming and was very much a beautiful woman. On a more positive note, Miroku was able to give proper advice to Inuyasha. He was probably the only person that knew what it was like to have a human as a wife that Inuyasha knew and although he could tell that the boy was highly embarrassed by his talk; he was also grateful.

Sesshoumaru had been hearing all about the travels from Shingi when they sparred together; the guard could tell a good story and the young couple were providing lots of ammunition. He was not giving details of anything that would warrant Inuyasha suffering a sore bottom in the near future from an irate 'Papa' Sesshoumaru, but rather the endearing way that the boy was trying to get information. Often when Rin slept, he would ask himself questions wondering the answers in a voice that he knew would carry to his guards; who would then discuss in voices that they knew would carry back, providing him with various things that would help him find the solutions he saught.

Sesshoumaru also learned that Miroku had also supplied guidance about a more physical than spiritual kind to Inuyasha, which alarmed the Daiyoukai slightly knowing the former monk's lecherous past; but Shingi reassured him that the information given was not offensive, although it had made the youngster blush. For some reason though Sesshoumaru started to feel annoyed at his younger brother. He had not seen him or Rin for quite a while; at least to talk to and he was getting angry at the things he was hearing; one ambassador had even remarked humourously about the pair travelling around like unclaimed urchins.

It was time to put a stop to this unrefined behaviour and he called them both to him; but seeing their happy faces and windswept hair as they looked up at him having answered his summons immediately, made him even more irate, as he too saw them as undignified.

"You will both cease to travel in such an unseemly way in future and restrict your travels to going by coach as befiits your station in life; unless you wish me to put a stop to your leaving the Palace grounds. I have brought you up to be more careful of your reputation young lady, than by having you act like any common street urchin. As for you Inuyasha, you have not yet made Rin your mate and you dishonour her by leaving the scent of your lust around where any may know your business; apart from the freedom with which you feel you can discuss your desires."

He was going far over the top and inside he knew it; he had never spoken to Rin thus and the scent of her tears reached his nose. He turned to see her staring at him with her hands to her mouth, her eyes huge and sad and he wanted to say he was sorry; but it was too late, she turned and ran from the room.

"You are wrong Sesshoumaru, she is never improper; you should apologise. Whatever you think I have done, Rin did not deserve that." He too turned to walk from the room when his brother called him back.

"I did not grant you permission to leave. Stay here. You have been making Rin a source of ridicule Inuyasha, with your mode of transportation and making her the subject of dubious conversations with your human friends. I am most displeased with you. You would do well to consider your position. Dismissed." Sesshoumaru turned his back and didn't watch as Inuyasha walked out in dismay; his tirade had not satisfied his sense of ire in the way he'd hoped and knowing that he had been unfair brought old feelings close to the surface making him feel anger at himself and Inuyasha.

TBC


	61. Apologies

Ch 61 Apologies

Inuyasha left in search of Rin only to find she had gone for consolation to Kagura and he felt a bit neglected; plus who could he go to for a bit of understanding if she had turned away? Hardly his brother and what was all that about anyway? Inuyasha didn't understand what he had done that was so wrong; he'd have to try and clear it with Sesshoumaru soon, when the youkai had calmed down a bit. Unfortunately it left Inuyasha on his own and that gave him time to brood over the words and phrases Sesshoumaru had used.

Had he humiliated Rin and compromised her in some way by taking off with her? Sesshoumaru said she was acting like a street urchin; is that how he still thought of Inuyasha deep down? Inuyasha hadn't meant that everyone would know of his desire for Rin, but it was so hard when he did desire her and youkai never had secrets like that; all their noses were too good, it was just something that was a part of life. After all everyone knew when Sesshoumaru and Kagura were together, or any of the other mated staff for that matter; no one took any notice of something so natural.

Perhaps there was still so much he didn't know and now he felt ashamed of asking, in case it was inappropriate and what was meant by his position? Had he done something so bad that he was likely to be considered unwelcome again. Surely it couldn't mean that? Sitting by his window and looking over his garden, Inuyasha decided that he would have to try and see his brother to sort things out; or uncertainty would make him feel insecure and he hated that feeling. So he went to Sesshoumaru's study almost with as much trepidation as if he was to receive punishment and asked Jaken to admit him.

"I do not wish to see my brother Jaken; kindly inform him that I have nothing further to say to him." Sesshoumaru's voice carried easily to Inuyasha who was aghast at the words; he was so stunned that he didn't even see the look of sorrow for him on Jaken's face. All he wanted to do was run and hide, his normal reaction to rejection; which to be fair, he hadn't felt for a few years, however Grandmother's words came to him when she'd told him to stop running and to face the problem. He decided to go for a run in any case to clear his head and sit in a tree somewhere and view his world from a different perspective.

This time Shingi himself was the following guard and he kept out of sight; he didn't know what had been said, only that something had upset the Daiyoukai who had then upset Rin and probably Inuyasha. The guard felt a bit guilty in case it was something he'd said himself; but whatever it was, he would stand watch while Inuyasha was out alone. The hanyou sat for a few hours seemingly just staring, but Shingi knew he was thinking; it was a good sign, the boy was older now and perhaps able to come to a truer understanding of whatever was said to him.

The more Inuyasha thought, the more pain it cost him; as his prior life was never too deep below the surface, his formative years having been so cruel, but he knew deep in his heart that Sesshoumaru loved him and was happy that he and Rin were courting. His brother was no longer ashamed of him, in fact the opposite was true and the hanyou sat reminiscing about all the good times and the kind words and the love he'd been shown all from his once hating brother. In trying to make the good outweigh the depth of bad, he came to the conclusion that although Sesshoumaru was pissed at him about something, he was still loved and wanted; but he had to make this right.

Dashing away the stupid drops that had formed in his stormy eyes with his sleeve; Inuyasha took off towards the Palace and back to his rooms, he was neither hungry nor ready just yet to return to the family futon. He was afraid he might make things worse if he did and didn't fancy spending his time ignoring Sesshoumaru; if his brother were fixing him with one of his stares. So he tucked himself into his own bed; mentally exhausted from trying to figure out his brother and by not letting the hurtful words weigh him down, as once they would and went to sleep.

Meanwhile after dismissing his brother, Sesshoumaru knew he'd dug himself a hole and wasn't sure how he could get out of it; he was helped however by Kagura who soon came in after handing Rin over to Kaede. The girl had developed a headache rather naturally and Kaede had good remedies, plus she was kindly and wise and would keep her occupied; considering that Inuyasha was not around and as Kagura had a different guard herself, she assumed that Shingi had gone after the boy. Kagura approached Sesshoumaru, the air around her crackling almost with the depth of her contained anger.

"Congratulations my Lord Sesshoumaru, you have called your daughter a slut and blamed your brother for her dishonour; she is now completely distraught and although I know where Rin is, I am assuming that Inuyasha has run off as Shingi is not around." He nodded in response having seen from his window as Inuyasha jumped the wall followed at a distance by the guard. He was obviously distracted and her words had not fully sunk in but when they did...

"I most certainly did not call Rin a slut." He objected and turned to face the angriest ruby eyes he had ever seen; then flinched under the blow to the back of his head from his mate's fan.

"That is what she _thinks _you said in other words and no doubt Inuyasha thinks you meant something similar and are blaming him for it. Although he would understand that you would be able to tell that they had not gone that far; what else did you say further to him, that you must correct?"

"How dare you strike me, I am the Lord of these Lands woman?" He was only half joking.

"And _I_ am your Lady and the mother to all _six_ of your pups; although right now, I feel I have gained another with the way you are acting." She replied, totally undaunted by his imposing figure; albeit he was a bit dishevelled from where she had mussed his hair. "What can you mean by trying to clip the boy's wings? Are you really that cruel to stop his flight and confine him to the ground? Inuyasha needs to be free, he cannot transform as you do and he cannot summon youki to fly as you and I can; do not deprive him. He needs the wind in his face and hair, to be able to run through the trees and to take his lady with him as he soars; have you seen his beauty and grace in near flight?

"His way of movement is like life to him, essential; at one time it was his _only _pleasure. Don't forbid him." He was startled at the empathic and passionate plea and it unnerved him how seriously she thought the effect of his words may be. He replied lightly, seeking to ease her mind.

"As if Inuyasha would take notice of This Sesshoumaru telling him he could no longer jump, he jumped over the wall earlier." But his remark fell flat as his mate shook her head.

"For himself no, but you've forbidden him to take Rin; that restriction he will obey and you'd better be sure that nothing else you've said to him will make him think you have changed your mind about them becoming mates." She looked harshly at him, but was relieved when he shook his head.

"I did not." But he was not sure, Inuyasha might take anything the wrong way if he had become upset. Kagura understood his look and sighed.

"You must make sure Sesshou; I only forgive you this mess because you have acted without full understanding. Inuyasha will never ask Rin to choose him over you, they both love you far too much; but you might _lose _himif you aren't careful. They both have human hearts that feel things deeply and can be hurt far easier than your youkai offspring, who would probably challenge your decision." She smiled at this but the jest was half hearted at best; they both knew that Inuyasha would not challenge Sesshoumaru's decisions again, the lesson with the jackals had been hard but well learned.

Sesshoumaru went to collect Rin personally from Kaede and felt a crushing pain in his heart when she wouldn't look at him and the smell of shame that drowned her own natural scent, condemned him in his own mind. His Rin had never been this afraid, or in mental pain because of him before and it nearly made him want to vomit as he led her out and to the garden. There he wrapped her in his tail as he used to when she was small and told her how sorry he was, that his words had made her feel so hurt. He had not meant them the way she had taken them, but he should not have said anything in any case; could she forgive him?

Rin had cried like a little girl when he apologised to her; his apparent disappointment in her had made it almost unbearable for a while, for the child who had only ever done her best to please him. The ease with which she forgave him was humbling as he knew that if she were youkai, he would have had to pay some retribution; but she and Inuyasha both gave him their hearts to hold, trusting in him far more readily than he could understand and he had nearly betrayed that trust. He must find his brother to explain why he had spoken so severely to them.

But he and Shingi had not yet returned; Sesshoumaru decided if they had not come back before dark to go and hunt for his brother himself. However as the family were at tea, Shingi appeared in the doorway and informed Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha was home; but he had ordered his tea to be taken in his rooms. The Daiyoukai frowned at the news, but wouldn't insist on the pup's presence until he had spoken to his brother. When Inuyasha had not been seen before it was time to take the small pups to bed, Sesshoumaru determined to stay long enough to settle them down and go into his brother's room.

One of the twins however wrinkled his little nose in the direction of his uncle's room and sniffed saying _'Yassa'_. That was enough for his Papa and Sesshoumaru went in to find his little brother fast asleep in his bed; with his 'comfort cushion' gripped in his arms and under his head. The innocence of the sight disturbed Sesshoumaru far more than he would have expected and he couldn't help going to pick the pup up and sitting with him cross legged and rocking him gently. The scent of salt was only slight, therefore he knew that Inuyasha hadn't cried himself to sleep; but he still felt guilty about the few drops that had obviously been spilled and still dampened his lashes.

As the boy was roused from slumber by the movements of his brother there was a spike of alarm in his scent and just as the shame permeating Rin's scent had condemned Sesshoumaru, so did the fear in Inuyasha.

"Hush pup, you are safe."

"I'm sorry Sessh; whatever it was I did wrong, I didn't know it was." The apology was genuine; even if the boy was sleepy and mixed up and Sesshoumaru knew the pup had cause to be puzzled, as he had not done anything wrong. This was the perfect time to put into practice one of the lessons Setsuzentaru had taught him; to apologise unreservedly when he was in the wrong. This would be different to being sorry for things he had done when younger and in the past though; this was current and he had not the feeble excuse based on his youth.

"Inuyasha, no; it is for me to apologise. You and Rin have done nothing wrong at all; I overreacted to something heard that disquieted me and caused you both to suffer for it." He waited for the anger to erupt, about the humiliation the pair had felt and at being found fault with yet again; but he waited in vain.

"You have said you're sorry to Rin haven't you? She didn't deserve all that."

"Of course, but neither did you."

"S'alright then. I'm glad your not still angry."

"You are satisfied with this, you want nothing else from me?" Sesshoumaru still found this level of forgiveness from both Rin and Inuyasha astounding, although he was beginning to appreciate it. The feeling that wound itself around his heart for the pair as they required so little from him, except his love; just got deeper.

"What for? You said you are sorry, you don't lie, so's I know you are; that's enough for me."

"You do not feel the need to know why I was angry?"

"Do you know why and do you want to tell me?"

"I believe so."

"Come on then, p'raps we can stop it from happening again."

"I did not like the fact that I hadn't seen either of you for a while and that you had turned to others less knowing of yourselves, for answers to your questions."

"You ain't exactly been available recently Sessh; I didn't want to bother you, what with the new pup and everythin'."

"I realise this now...however I missed you both and felt that perhaps you found that your friends were of more use to you." This was said very quietly and Inuyasha heard the unspoken jealousy and the need to be needed by them in Sesshoumaru's voice. Inuyasha was not angry, he understood his brother by now and realised that this was something that Sesshoumaru would always feel and want; he had no trouble with it either, the alpha commanded his respect by instinct and by inclination. So instead of berating his brother as Sesshoumaru was expecting, knowing that he deserved his brother's anger; Inuyasha put his arms round him and snuggled back against him to sleep; as if he were a small pup again, putting his trust and love into a physical term.

"What would I do without you around; I had nearly given up on everything, if it weren't for you. We'll always need you Sessh, haven't you got that in your thick skull by now?" He asked sleepily and he felt his brother's rueful smile against the top of his head as Sesshoumaru nuzzled him.

"Now I have, and I am sorry it cost you more tears before I learned."

"Feh! You didn't make me cry; it was Rin you upset." But he ignored the rather exaggerated sniffing that Sesshoumaru did near his sleeve and in the direction of his cushion.

"Really."

"Keh! I knew you didn't still think of me as a street brat that you was going to kick out again. I knew you still loved me and weren't ashamed of me really."

"These were some of the things I had made you consider? And it took you that long to reach your conclusions?"

"You didn't want to see me again; when I tried to sort it out, you told Jaken and I overheard. I thought...maybe at first anyhow, that you might have meant not see me ever again; I had to think that through first."

"Inuyasha I will never turn you away out of my home, _your _home; even if I had genuine reason for anger...You are my pup."

"I know. It's O.K." And it was now. Sesshoumaru stared into his brother's clear shining eyes and examined them, much to the consternation of Inuyasha; but there was no shadow of pain or doubt in hiding. All he could see was a bit of bemusement at the scrutiny and complete love and trust; to the elder sibling's relief. Then Inuyasha went back with Sesshoumaru to tuck up into the family futon and was welcomed back by Kagura with a cuddle and he was grateful to be able to wrap his arms around Rin once again.

In the morning the Daiyoukai spoke to both of them together and explained that he would not be curbing their travels or means of getting there. He explained that he had just not wished anyone to think that he disapproved of the pair and had deliberately neglected them, by not providing a coach or other comforts; he wanted no implied slight to be seen against either of his pups.

Harmony was once again restored in the household and Sesshoumaru was profoundly glad that he had not lost either of the pair's trust and faith in him; although he had to give them both more time than usual for a while, as they were both rather clingy. Kaede informed him when he had asked her advice; that it was because he had given them a fright and they needed the reassurance that he was not still angry with them. In that way she could see they were both still young and needy for his approval and they were different to the youkai pups in that Rin couldn't tell by his scent that he was not irate and Inuyasha just always needed his assurance.

Sesshoumaru restarted Inuyasha's lessons in the afternoons, to give the pup some stability again and because he had never intended for them to stop. The hanyou was now able to be of real value in helping his brother's workload in the morning and so the time balanced out nicely. The routine suited Inuyasha, as long as he had some freedoms during the day; which was always granted. The boy was a hard worker and now he was planning for a future and wanted to be found worthy; he hated charity and only wished to be of genuine use to his brother and the Lands to which he was now a Prince.

The weather was still fine and on one late but hot sunny day, Sesshoumaru took a holiday for the family; taking them to their beach where they stayed playing loudly until sunset, watching the colourfully changing sky as they wandered home with the tired small pups in their arms. After the evening meal and taking Sesshoumaru to one side, Inuyasha told him that sometime during the next day he was going to ask Rin to become his mate if he had Papa's approval; which he was granted with a loving kiss to his forehead and a genuine smile of happiness from his brother.

TBC


	62. Proposal

Ch 62 Proposal

The next day dawned and put the two older youkai into turmoil; there was no way they were going to miss the 'piece de resistance' of the day, when Inuyasha asked Rin to be his mate. But the small pups had to be occupied, while their parents 'stalked' the unsuspecting young couple; Inuyasha hadn't told Sesshoumaru exactly when he wanted to speak with his future mate; which meant that they had to be watched carefully, so that Kagura and Sesshoumaru weren't given the slip. The parental couple couldn't risk this going wrong, anymore than any other step the younger pair had taken and it was as well for them that Kaede and Shingi didn't let them see their smiles at their activities.

As Sesshoumaru expected but couldn't take the risk, Inuyasha and Rin strolled after lunch over to their frog pond and sat under the willow that was now big enough to hide them and provide a dappled sunlit glade, beneath it's canopy. Sesshoumaru smiled; his little brother was not very imaginative about his romancing, although he had brought a blanket with him to sit on and some food to feed the fish. He and Kagura sat in _their_ hiding place where Kagura could manipulate the breezes to listen in on the conversation.

"Rin, I ain't very good with words most times; but I'm ready to ask you to be my mate, if you'd like."

"Oh, Inuyasha, you know I would be your mate gladly; but are you sure you are ready?"

"Yeah, I've really enjoyed our times together; I...I can't imagine not having you in my life Rin."

"I don't have to be your mate to be in your life Inuyasha, you will always be very important to me; I will always be there for you, regardless of if we are mated."

"You...don't want to be my mate?"

"Hush, that's not what I said or meant. I asked if you were ready to ask me, I will be here for you regardless."

"I don't understand Rin, I asked didn't I?"

"Let me ask you a question and I want an honest answer; I will know if you lie. If you could have Kagome back, would you rather mate with her or me and I need to know why?" Then she smiled sweetly at him and left him under the tree to ponder his response; while she walked back to her rooms. Outside, the eavesdroppers were looking at each other in shock; Sesshoumaru felt his brothers anguish at this question and knew that Inuyasha had _never _given Rin a cause to think he was wishing she was someone else.

Kagura was downright angry with the girl, Inuyasha shouldn't have to go through all this again. Kagome had given him a hard enough time when he had been confused over Kikyou; she hadn't thought that Rin would be the sort to string the young hanyou along. Both Kagura and Sesshoumaru caught up with Rin as she went along to see Kaede but they didn't stop her from her visit; perhaps she would have some explanation if she were free to speak with the older human.

"Ye have had a disagreement with thy young hanyou Rin; I can feel his aura from here, he is distressed. How has he upset ye this time?"

"He has not upset me; it is the other way round Kaede and I feel awful, Inuyasha asked me to be his mate and I have not yet accepted."

"Why girl, we all knew that ye both were courting, ye must have been prepared; ye cannot be playing with the child's heart Rin, so why the hesitation? Have ye spoken with thy parents about all this?"

"No, it has just happened and they would be furious with me and not understand my reasoning; at least at first."

"And ye think I shall, when ye have caused hurt to that vulnerable boy?"

"I would kill _myself_ before I caused Inuyasha deliberate hurt, Kaede. I have merely asked him who he would rather mate, me or Kagome if it were possible and I need an honest answer."

"Girl, he did not hide his love for Kagome or my sister from ye; he asked ye if ye could deal with his feelings, before ye courted and ye said ye could. Have ye changed thy mind?"

"Of course not Kaede, I can cope with him, it is Inuyasha who needs an answer. I know who he would choose; I am well aware that he loves me and would not have asked me to be his mate unless he and his youkai were sure that I was the one he wants, but...he has to know why."

"Is this not taking things a bit far? Analyzing his feelings is not something our dear Inuyasha is going to be very good at. I have seen the child get himself in so many muddles and heartaches in the past, can ye not just give him his answer?"

"Kaede, sometimes if I look at him a certain way or if we slightly disagree, he flinches and looks at me as though I am going to hurt him and I know he is still almost automatically expecting to hear someone say 'sit'. He never used to do this, it is only since we have had time to spend in talk and to be together. We cannot go on like this, when we need to discuss things of any importance I want to know what he _really_ thinks and wants; not what he thinks _I _want to hear because he is afraid of my reaction if he goes against my opinion."

"I do understand ye now child."

"I'm glad, when he knows why he has chosen me over Kagome, I will be able to counter her lasting influence with the rosary; without causing him more pain by him thinking I am jealous, when in fact I am not. But I do not want him to mistake my own motives."

"Very well, but ye must confide this to thy parents immediately; be assured they will understand ye, but Sesshoumaru may want to console his brother."

"I fully intend to tell them Kaede, I keep nothing from them." Rin turned to leave but was stopped by the entrance of Kagura which told her, that her parents already knew.

"I hope you know all you are asking of Inuyasha Rin; if he doesn't understand your question completely, he may not answer how you think. Inu sense of loyalty is very strong."

"I know Mama, but I cannot have him shrinking away from me if we disagree; he looks like a beaten puppy. He never did it before we started courting and I must help him to get rid of the reaction. Where's Papa?"

"He has gone to Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru walked straight to Inuyasha, he could hear no sound but could tell by scent that the pup was still sitting under the tree. He was quiet and solemn and did not appear to have noticed his brother, he was so lost in thought; Sesshoumaru came to sit beside him, he could tell that Inuyasha had a tight grip on his emotion.

"I have heard Inuyasha; is this something I can help with?"

"I don't think so; have I failed her Sessh, is she telling me she will not be my mate after all?"

"What do you think Inuyasha, is Rin a liar?"

"No."

"Then she just wants you to do as she has asked. Is it so hard for you to choose between them?"

"No, not any more, but why does she wish me to; have I not let her know how I feel, does she still feel threatened by my feelings for Kagome? If so there is no hope, I cannot just turn them off."

"I do not think that is what Rin requires; think what she asked you to do." Sesshoumaru was trying to lead Inuyasha to think for himself; rather than tell him what Rin was really asking.

"She wants to know why I would choose her or Kagome; she wants reasons for my love and I'm no good at that sort of thing, I just know I love Rin what can I do?"

"Try explaining to me what the differences are in your own mind and heart between the girls; it might clarify things for you."

"Feh! I don't even know where to start." He had started to sound a bit panicked and Sesshoumaru had an idea.

"Tell me about Kagome, Inuyasha."

"Keh!"

"I know very little of the Miko you would have mated, by the time we were reconciling; it was nearly time for her to depart. I know that she was generous and kind, with a fiery temper; but not _who_ she was, the person who would have become my brother's mate. I would like to know now; tell me about her, describe her for me." His request seemed reasonable to Inuyasha and indeed, he found it much easier to tell Sesshoumaru all about his life from once Kagome had unsealed him; filling his brother in on some of their adventures that the youkai hadn't heard before.

He spoke of her courage, her desire to do good to all and to see the good _in_ all. She was beautiful and clumsy and had a nack of drawing people to her; something that had been the opposite for Inuyasha. Above all, she had fallen in love with him as a hanyou; despite his temper and all his mistakes, she had come from a time that didn't know that hanyou existed, let alone were considered the lowest form of life. With no preconceived ideas, she had no concerns for his heritage although she respected it; she had given meaning to his life.

Sesshoumaru had however seen something of Kagome and had formed his own educated opinion based on what he had seen; it was time to ask some questions of his brother.

"And the use of the rosary?"

"Well, that had been for protection for her and she had protected me with it too, but it had not been needed to keep her from harm since the first time. Once I had sworn to protect her, she could have removed it; but by then she was using it as a punishment for me.

"Did she punish her other friends?" Sesshoumaru was keeping tight control, even the girl who claimed to love Inuyasha had treated him differently; despite her protestations against anyone else doing so. No wonder his little brother had such issues feeling that anything he did, would eventually cause him pain.

"No."

"Not even the kit?"

"Never, not Shippou."

"Did she not realise that they all, especially the kit; could manipulate her into using it on you? I saw some of this myself."

"She was innocent of that sort of deception and to the rest it was just amusing." He had never showed them that it hurt him and not just physically.

"When would she use it, what would you have done to make her 'sit' you?"

Sometimes I'd upset her by my words, sometimes I didn't show the proper appreciation for her cooking, sometimes when I'd been to see Kikyou and she'd be jealous and sometimes I wasn't completely sure why she had done it and if I objected strongly it was likely to cause her to do it again so I would leave them for a while to cool down.

"Did she not understand about Kikyou?"

"No not really; nobody did, they all thought I was cheating on Kagome if I went to Kikyou; but..."

"But, you had not fully understood that Kagome was viewing you as a lover at first and wanted your affection in return. They thought of your development in human years not youkai."

"I didn't know what she wanted at first and if I had I wouldn't have, if you know what I mean. I didn't understand the feeling of love as she did; Miroku was helpful so I knew what she wanted, but the real feeling is only recent for me. Besides Myouga had told me that a hanyou never mated, no one would ever accept me in that way; even though I already knew that I could be desired.

"I was always so mixed up, but Kikyou would have changed me to a human with the jewel and I would have died off in a few years; plus I had affection for her. She was the first to show me any kindness, her and Kaede; that little girl gave me my first hot meal since Mama died, strange, she gave me the first one again when I was in her hut after I was unsealed." Inuyasha pulled himself back from his memories;

"When Kagome awakened me from Goshinboku fifty years had passed and yet for me it was a matter of minutes. I found out that Kikyou was dead; I could no more turn off my affection for her than I can for Kagome and yet... No one understands; even I don't."

"Does Rin wish you to forget Kagome and Kikyou?"

"No, she asks me questions about them, she likes to hear the stories of our journey and compare it to what you and she were doing or where you were at the time. She gets mad when she remembers Kikyou wished me human, she is like Kagome in that with the same reasoning. She always said that if you love someone you don't try to change them.

"Or control them?" Sesshoumaru questioned very gently and mindful of his brother's burning golden eyes shining in the half light; trails of silvered tears, he was completely unaware of on his cheeks.

"Kagome did love me; didn't she, Sessh?"

"Yes pup, she did; very much indeed and as you say she didn't mean to harm you, but she had similarities to Kikyou still. There was a selfish streak within her and she was only truly happy if you were doing or thinking as she wished. Rin however was always wanting me to remove the rosary from you, even when she was a small child. She would risk my wrath, not that I ever directed it towards her; to complain that I had not only fought with you, but had failed to have the necklace gone. She was scolded many times by Jaken for interferring with my affairs."

"I can talk to Rin about anything and she doesn't get cross with me; she is interested and she makes me want to tell her things that I've not been able to say to anyone else, I am not afraid that she will be hurt by whatever I say and she understands me. Rin fills my soul in a way that no one else has and makes me feel whole, even more than Kagome and much more than Kikyou."

"I think if you can tell her that last part Inuyasha, that is all she needs to know."

"Will she believe me though Papa?"

"Of course I believe you, foolish puppy and of course I'll be your mate." Rin came in under the leaves from behind Sesshoumaru where Kagura was keeping her scent down wind, with her fan. She went straight to Inuyasha and kissed him before wiping his face with her sleeve and he in turn reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small parcel wrapped in coloured silk and tied with an elaborate ribbon. They were all stunned, none of them thought that Inuyasha would think to get a gift to accompany his proposal and when Rin opened it, causing her to burst into tears; Sesshoumaru had to admit that sometimes his brother _could _be a bit romantic.

Inside was a carved box of red cherry wood, with the crescent moon of her father's house and a fan symbol of her mother; similar to the design on the cradle he'd made for Yuki. Lining the box was cobalt blue silk the same colour as Sesshoumaru's moon and resting on the silk were two hair ornaments fashioned in gold and with tiny crescents and fans along the lengths picked out in sapphires and rubies. Inuyasha recognised that these were happy tears and was pleased she liked his gift; indeed she had handed them to Kagura and asked her to attach them already.

"You designed these yourself did you not Inuyasha?" Asked Sesshoumaru, as he studied one that Kagura had already placed in his daughter's hair.

"Yes I used your crest as I don't have one, but I thought it wouldn't matter as she is your pup; I made the box myself and the silk and gems came from the box containing my mother's dowry. I was looking in there and I didn't like much of the stuff, but some of the gems separated are big and valuable. I asked Totousai if he could smelt and fashion something I described, using the gold and gems from an ugly brooch I'd found. He made something far nicer. .

"Indeed, you really have a talent for design; I have said so before, but perhaps you could develop it. You may find there are many who would commission a design from you. It is something perhaps to consider in the future." He had to stop speaking as Rin was demanding attention, as she spun around like she'd used to do as a child; wanting to know if they thought her pretty with the combs in her hair. Inuyasha caught her in his arms and kissed her soundly as she laughed then declared she was hungry; Inuyasha led Kagura back, giving Sesshoumaru time with his daughter as he wished to talk to her.

Sesshoumaru walked back to the Palace behind Kagura and Inuyasha with his arm around Rin's shoulders and thinking. She knew he wished to speak to her and she waited patiently while he collected his thoughts; it was a nice comfortable feeling for her as it brought back memories of travelling with him and Jaken. Memories of the days when she was totally dependant and happy on the youkai lord who had rescued her from death and a life of hardship as a neglected and unwanted mute orphan. She often thought of those times and the blessings that had come to her especially when she had reached a mature enough age to understand Inuyasha's jealousy.

However that now was long passed; but it had sometimes been a hard and rocky road for them all, as they took time adjusting to their family. Born of long understanding and reading his subliminal signals; Rin knew when Sesshoumaru was ready to speak.

"My Rin, what a strange situation you find yourself in do you not?"

"Papa?"

"Do you not think so? Do you consider yourself my pup or my sister now Rin? I know Inuyasha sometimes calls me Papa; do I now have two confused pups?" His eyes shone as he looked down on her upturned face; his little human child who had never shown him fear and only ever love and devotion and who he could now see had grown into a beautiful woman.

"I am not confused My Lord Papa; you have never been any different to me, what does it matter to me who you are as a title? You are the person who gave me life and hope every step of my journey; I owe you every happiness I can remember and now you give me your brother as mate. It does not make me your sister, pup or ward. I am just your Rin as I have always been and always will be. You Sire are the most important being in the world to me and I can love no one more than I love you."

"Not even Inuyasha?" He asked teasing her and enjoying her company.

"It is a different love than the one I have for you, besides I share it with Inuyasha; he knows the same love for you as I do, although he has known you to be different and now deep in his heart he prefers to feel more that he is your pup than your brother. I think partly because you have cared for him more since you've considered him your own, than perhaps in the troubled days when you only called him your brother." Her voice was soft almost as if she were thinking a new thought aloud to herself; but it made sense to her listener.

"My Little Rin, how glad I am that I will not lose you to another house; you are a special child, as is Inuyasha to me. You gave me back my heart and opened it up to help me reconcile with my brother; something I can never repay; to know you will join together as mates, pleases me more than I can express. _You _showed me what it is to feel love and to recognise it when I saw it in Inuyasha; I love you too Rin and I have thanked my father many times in my heart, that he gave me Tenseiga."

Rin felt several tears fall on her head, as she hugged him round the waist and rested against his chest; but she did not mention it, knowing that his heart was full at the moment and feeling privileged that she meant so much to him. Eventually he straightened up and they carried on walking to the rooms where their dinner and partners awaited them. As Inuyasha took Rin into his arms to kiss her, he couldn't help noticing the scent from his brother's tears; but he made no comment to either Sesshoumaru or Rin, understanding that the Daiyoukai had a special love for his daughter.

He did however decide to ask her what his test had proved to her and she then told him what she had said to Kaede; emphasizing that she didn't want him to feel he couldn't speak his mind to her without fear or flinching. Now she knew that he felt she was the rest of his soul, she could help him; without him feeling she was trying to demean his former love. Inuyasha understood and loved her more for it, he felt at home and safe in her arms and in the middle of his family; a feeling that would never grow old or stale for the hanyou who had known hardship and want, for most of his previously love starved life.

TBC


	63. Brother to Brother, Father to Son

Ch 63 Brother to Brother, Father to Son

That night sitting up in bed and looking down on his sleeping family, Sesshoumaru like all parents no matter what manner of being, felt a sense of loss; as he realised his pups were growing up. Not that he would have to be concerned for a few hundred years at the earliest, for his biological pups to want to mate and start their own families; but these other two, pups of his heart were on the brink of a new life. A new life where he would no longer be the foremost person in either of their minds and he felt almost bereaved; before berating himself that his sentiments were inappropriate for a Daiyoukai.

But in the morning when two pairs of adoring eyes looked at him on waking, he could have howled. They looked so happy and contented; having slept safe and secure in each other's arms and within the youkai of their parents, that Sesshoumaru could hardly bear the thought of losing them. Inuyasha stared thoughtfully at his distracted brother; scenting the sadness within him and seeing the darkened eyes that had for a moment, lost their sparkle. He thought he knew the directions of his brother's musings and resolved to speak to him after breakfast; sometime when they were at work together.

In Sesshoumaru's study were two desks and he and Inuyasha faced opposite each other as they worked. It was easier to look up and at one another, if one had a question for the other. This morning there was a lot of paper work to get through and Inuyasha was proving invaluable at this; many petitions and proposals came from the human lords and mayors of the villages and towns that paid tribute to the Western Lands and the hanyou provided some insight on how their minds were working. He had a knack for sorting out problems with solutions that were fair and that worked; as many letters of thanks and approval came back to Sesshoumaru, along with gifts of gratitude.

For Inuyasha listening to two sides and reaching a compromise was child's play; he constantly did that within his own mind as his human and youkai often did not agree on a course of action, leaving the hanyou having to decide. Therefore power and influence, did not sway him against any without such persuasions; he knew how to balance a fine line between them. Sometimes he had been able to do this verbaly for Sesshoumaru as well, when he'd been asked by his brother for his opinion between youkai and had been just as effective.

Watching him now Sesshoumaru was intrigued at how his brother carved a niche out for himself wherever he was; he did not wait to be given opportunity, it would never have come his way, but he would see a need and fill it without even knowing he did so. He was nowhere near as fast as Sesshoumaru at dealing with the mundane work of being an overlord; speed reading and being able to see a complete picture instantly, were not his gifts and he had not had the training that his brother had had for years in running his lands and peoples. His education was much improved; but he still read slowly to be sure and his writing was deliberate, still very like a child as he held his pen and made his beautiful marks on the paper.

Inuyasha was reading now and Sesshoumaru found him vastly entertaining; the pup did not read silently, but in an undertone with many a derisive Keh! and Feh! littered amongst the words as his brain digested the information. He had not yet learned to be as unreadable in expression as his brother, which meant that at meetings with diplomats and ambassadors he became a calculated risk that Sesshoumaru took and sometimes enjoyed; as his brother's remarkable sharpness of wit and honesty could undercut the feet from under the most pompous personages.

In fact Sesshoumaru's own talent for knowing exactly what his brother was thinking or feeling, was not limited to only reading his expression or his eyes; the puppy ears were also a dead giveaway, apart from his general body language. It was of course why it had been so easy to hurt him in the past, to anyone who knew the boy he couldn't hide; although he'd done the best he could with the brash and crude behaviour, even if it could be seen through by any who cared to look. But that was all but gone now; Inuyasha was a bit older and was not only been safe and secure, but also surrounded by the love of those who'd previoualy hated him.

Being able to believe in that love finally, had allowed the original nature of the hanyou to re-emerge and develop again; instead of stagnate and die and he was acting his real age, which ironically was younger now than that of Rin who had reached human maturity. The difference was not problematic however, as Inuyasha had much more life experience and somehow they evened out along the way; besides Rin had known him since she was a child and was well aware of the pup's personality by now.

Sesshoumaru sighed, it was often believed that the Daiyoukai had no feelings at all; a belief which he was careful to cultivate, but that nonetheless was a complete lie. In point of fact his feelings were intense; but he had been well trained and was naturally stoic of demeanour and in control of how his body functioned, therefore those feelings were buried deep. But Inuyasha had felt his jealousy and anger even hatred, just as Rin had known his love and Kagura his passion; they all knew he had feelings and was just as intense about the love he had for them all now, his pups and mate, his family.

His remorse too was deeply felt and ten years or so of making things right with his brother, was nothing in comparison to the couple of centuries of abuse. Since the hateful jealousy was well and truly gone and had been replaced with the genuine deep love and affection that he had buried when his brother was a newborn pup, Sesshoumaru's need to protect Inuyasha had not abated. Inuyasha picked up on the sadness within his brother and remembered that he wanted to speak with him; immediately his ears pricked forward and then back and down as he thought about what he could say.

Of course Sesshoumaru noticed and looked over at Inuyasha with an eyebrow raised and noted the downcast eyes, before he heard the soft voice;

"I know you're feeling sad about Rin and me Sessh, but I'll look after her and I wont take her from you; I promise."

"I have no concerns about your intentions to be a good mate to Rin, Inuyasha. You always do your best."

"I'm gettting better at what I do; I...I won't let either of you down. I know I'm not good enough, but I do love her." His ears could not be plastered further to his head; they were almost invisible and Sesshoumaru came to kneel in front of his brother, moving aside the desk. He took both of Inuyasha's hands in his own and insisted that the pup look at him so that they had eye contact;

"I think that all fathers feel that no suitor could possibly be good enough for his pup, Inuyasha. So that puts me in a bit of a quandry doesn't it? Because by that reckoning, Rin is not good enough for you either." He smiled as Inuyasha gave a shy grin back and then pouted as Sesshoumaru ruffled his hair deliberately to annoy him. Pulling Inuyasha into a stand, he asked the boy to walk with him in the gardens; the Daiyoukai always found the calming atmosphere restful. The brothers walked in silence for a while along the tree lined pathways, towards the family's private gardens.

They eventually sat down on the bank overlooking the play things that Inuyasha had made and added to over the years and the younger sibling, in a rare display of his need for reassurance; lay his head on his brother's leg, encouraging the petting of his ears and hair. Sesshoumaru obliged; his deadly claws applying just enough pressure to soothe, as he raked through his brother's hair drawing out Inuyasha's growly purrs.

"Well pup, what is all this in aid of; it has been quite a while since you have wanted _me_ to pet you?"

"Why _are_ you so sad Sessh if you are happy for me to mate Rin? You were sad last night and again this morning; if it makes you feel this way, neither of us will be happy. Rin will not want me if you disapprove and I cant do that to either of you; besides I don't want you starting to hate me again, I couldn't take that anymore." But he was soothed by the steady stroking of his hair, Sesshoumaru's scent and his low rumbling growls.

"It is my fervent hope that perhaps one day you will know that I cannot hate you Inuyasha; as I said to Rin last night, you are a special child to me just as she is." There was no point in trying to deny his feelings, he knew that Inuyasha could scent almost as well as he could. "My...sadness comes simply from realising that you are growing up and that means away, from me. It is the natural way of things and yet I regret the inevitable loss; there is so much I have missed with you through my own error and for which I hoped to atone, but it seems my opportunity has been missed somewhat."

"Come on Sessh, will you stop beating yourself up over the past; or are you thinking of tossing me and Rin out in the snow, that you feel we will be gone away? I don't understand, you ain't gonna lose us; Rin's your little girl through and through and as for me, I aint got a clue about so much that you're stuck with me, whether you like it or not." For his attempt to comfort his brother, Inuyasha got another head ruffle; which came as a shock as he'd been enjoying the rhythmic stroking and he sat up to glare at Sesshoumaru.

"You are too forgiving Little One; it is the human in you, or so Kagura tells me."

"Feh! I can't be any other way Sessh; besides you've proved yourself over and over since I've lived here and you've made sure I'm happy, so's as far as I'm concerned, forget it. We both missed out on some things, but there ain't nothin' we can do about that now and anyhow you're still my _'Papa' _for a few more years yet; or have you forgotten?"

"No whelp, I've not forgotten." He felt better; but no matter what Inuyasha said, Sesshoumaru would always regret the time that he had thrown away, in not being a loving older brother to the pup. But now he had another duty to attend to for Inuyasha and Rin and this time not as the brother, but the father; he needed to find out just what the pup knew about becoming a mate and just what he _didn't_ know. Thankfully, Sesshoumaru knew that Rin understood what to expect from the physical relationship; Kagura had explained when the girl asked the normal questions as she reached womanhood, plus her chosen profession of healer had taught her much.

But Inuyasha was another matter and Sesshoumaru didn't know how much, if anything the hanyou knew and how to broach the subject with the skittish boy? He settled Inuyasha down again, so that he was petting him calmly and came straight to the point as he always did.

"Inuyasha, do you know what is expected of you when you go to your mate and how she receives you; after the ceremonial announcement?" Immediately Sesshoumaru could sense the unease from his brother and the sudden rise in his body temperature, which the youkai was sure had made the boy red with embarrassment.

"I know a bit...Miroku told me some...I know what goes where." He mumbled and Sesshoumaru was glad that his brother couldn't see his smile. But the idea that all the boy's knowledge came from the lecherous monk was not very reassuring.

"Well then, I shall inform you of the correct way to take a mate. In some ways for Inu, there are differences; but the main mechanics are the same for most species of life." So he proceeded to teach his brother about his body and how it would react and what to do; explaining that the feelings he had for Rin would intensify and that he was not to worry and let nature help him and her, to help one another. It would be new for both of them and so they would learn together and in answer to an enquiry from Inuyasha, _'no Rin would not have any difficulty accepting him; he would not hurt her, after all their father had not harmed Izayoi in any way had he?'_

Sesshoumaru smiled fondly as he carried on scratching his brother's ears, the pup had human sensibilities when it came to discussing the most natural of actions between mates. While it was proper to be modest and circumspect when with a mate in public, everyone knew what happened in private and took no notice; in fact the opposite was true, if there were no mating scents around it would be considered strange and a cause for concern. While waiting to see if there were any more questions and for his pup's anxiety to recede, Sesshoumaru considered.

At least Inuyasha was no longer so shy of his body being seen; he would bathe with his brother as normal, they had had many private conversations while they relaxed in the warm waters of the natural hot spring baths that were dotted around the Palace and attached to the main chambers. At first when Inuyasha had returned to his normal state of mind, he had not let anyone see him; not even the bathing attendants, convinced that he was a freak and deformed in some way. The insults that had been his source of information, were not kind to a pup who'd had nothing to compare himself with, for many years.

Even when he met Miroku and they shared baths on the journey, he would never look or let himself be seen; Kagome's reaction a couple of times when she had accidentally encountered him had not boosted his ego at all, rather she confirmed his suspicions. It had not been until Shingi had forced him to strip after a particularly gruelling work out and literally thrown him into the bath of the dojo, that he realised he was not different in any major way from his brother who was already soaking or Shingi who soon joined them.

It was Shingi who worked out why the hanyou was so excrutiatingly shy and had also worked out the solution; hoping that if the boy could see his brother and others, that he would begin to realise he was no freak. The two older youkai then had explained to him that his body was completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of; it had worked and now Inuyasha didn't think twice about his normality. That had been some time ago now, but it was important if he wanted to take a mate, that he not be body shy.

Inuyasha's body was returning to it's normal, less flustered state as he absorbed all the information from Sesshoumaru and pretty soon he found himself dozing while his brother stroked his head. Sesshoumaru allowed it for a bit and then pushed his brother into a sit.

"Come pup, there is a lot of work still to do before your mating feast; but do know this, if you need to question or discuss anything, I will always be there for you. Do you understand what I have said already?"

"Feh! I think so; besides you said I will learn more with Rin."

"Experience is the better teacher Inuyasha and you will have many years in which to practice. No one can tell you what your relationship will be like, because they are all different; but I am confident you will both be happy because I know you love each other. I am sure in my own mind now, that Rin is your soulmate and the one Midoriko was talking about; I believe and through knowing you both, that no one else will suit you as well as she."

"Thank you Papa" Inuyasha said as he held on to Sesshoumaru's arm, while they walked back to their study for Inuyasha's lessons.

It did not take long for invitations to be sent and replied to, for the banquet to be prepared and the finishing touches to be sorted for the mating feast of Inuyasha and Rin; Prince and Princess of the Western Lands. Most of the time, itineries and lists of who was invited and where they were to be put etc, were already in place for state affairs and just needed to be implimented. The Palace staff were well aquainted with arranging banquets and entertainments and were unfazed by a mating feast, however pleased they were for the young couple.

In the days leading up to their mating day, Inuyasha hardly saw Rin at all; as she was whisked here and there by Kagura as new kimonos and the like were chosen and fitted. Then he found it was his turn for the new clothes, which made him nervous and sulky; his sometimes bad temper coming to the fore as he was pulled and pushed here and there, all the while trying to find a normal course to steer through all the festivities. He was unused to the pomp and ceremony; being a reclusive character for a lot of his life, made him still shy of crowds.

Kouga was asked once again by Sesshoumaru to keep the boy occupied and out of trouble as the Daiyoukai had business that only he could take care of. The Wolf Prince was able and willing to do this, with his own brand of winding up and sparring; enabling Inuyasha to let off steam and release some of his nervous tension. Ayame was only too pleased to join Rin and Kagura, while her mate teased his long time 'friend' about growing up at long last. Their cubs and the pups were happy to play together and soon were joined by Sango and Miroku's children as they too came as early guests and were absorbed into the preparations in their turn.

However, the evening before the mating day Sesshoumaru and Kagura took Inuyasha and Rin down to a secluded area of the grounds; which had always been neglected by the family. Surprisingly close to the Palace, but nearer their family beach surrounded by trees and in a clearing; was a pretty manor house with well tended gardens. Sesshoumaru explained that this had been where Izayoi had been intended to stay and live, had the circumstances surrounding Inuyasha's birth been different; their father had had it built and Sesshoumaru had restored it and was now offering it to Inuyasha and Rin as their own retreat.

It was not intended to be their home unless they wished, Inuyasha's suite was still his for as long as they wanted; as were their places in the family futon. Sesshoumaru didn't want things to change; but the little manor would be an escape, should the newly mated pair require it. Inuyasha was very quiet as they were shown around, this was something his father had built for his mother and was now his and Rin's and he fancied he could just pick up on the scent of his father lingering. He knew that was highly unlikely, but the design and everything else, told the pup something more about his father.

Sesshoumaru found himself with Rin on one side and Inuyasha on the other as they thanked him for the gift and made plans to spend their seclusion at their little home. The youkai sighed in relief, it had been a gamble offering the house to Inuyasha; but the pup had never lived in it himself and neither had his mother, so there were no unhappy memories or associations with the building for the hanyou. Inuyasha saw it for what it was, a mating gift with a special meaning for him; built by his father and restored by his brother, for a now much loved hanyou son.

TBC


	64. Mates

Ch 64 Mates

The next morning dawned bright and clear, but had an autumn chill that was just enough to be..._invigorating_; Kagura's words were sent with a suggestive smirk over at Rin and Inuyasha across the breakfast table. While Inuyasha turned a most brilliant colour of red as her meaning sank in and all his friends around him laughed and sniggered; Rin just laughed right back, saying she hoped it lasted for the rest of the day then. This caused Kouga and Miroku to really enjoy themselves at Inuyasha's expense while he looked at his not so demure, mate to be in surprise.

Sesshoumaru too frowned a little at the forthrightness of the girl and was going to make some comment to her; when he caught the eye of his own mate which was threatening dire consequences, if he tried to squash the girl's exuberance. He closed his mouth and smiled ruefully; he supposed that if the males could make the ribald comments that they had been doing, that were traditional at the expense of the new couple and in mixed company, it was only to be expected that the females too could join in.

It did not really surprise him either, that the one who was most embarrassed by all the jokes and insinuations was his hanyou baby brother and not the human little girl; although normally one would expect it to be the other way around. Especially as the girls were all now talking about extra cushions for the bedroom of the Manor House; which although was tastefully furnished in all rooms, was still a bit spartan for feminine tastes. After all as Ayame said, _'you must be comfortable in the bedroom'; _which caused a round of giggles from the girl's group at the table.

And so it went on for the rest of the morning; as the females raided various rooms of the Palace for cushions and other things to make Inuyasha and Rin _'comfortable'. _Of course, once the pair had been captured by their servants to be prepared for the ceremony; others who had been chosen for their long service and discretion, were despatched to the Manor to make the rooms more intimate with candles and fires. The bathing pool was filled from the hot spring that fed it and wine and food put out on small tables; lanterns were hung to give soft lights and then the servants would retire to their quarters when the new mates arrived.

The couple woud be escorted from the Palace to their Manor; then, while they were in residence at any time, Inuyasha's elite guard would be in charge of not only their safety but their privacy too. Sesshoumaru didn't trust Miroku or Kouga not to try to interfere or disturb the couple and while he knew they would not mean any harm, Inuyasha was still shy and uncertain. He did not want his brother's time with Rin spoiled in any way and even though he could trust their mates with punishing any misconduct, the damage would still be done.

But now it was nearly time to present to the gathered company the new couple who would become mates that evening. Sesshoumaru entered with the pair, one on each side of him and holding on to their elbows; mainly so that Inuyasha couldn't do a runner when he saw the number of guests. They both shone from their baths; their hair and skin gleamed as if polished and they had matching kimono's of indigo blue with white obi's, embroidered with an indigo crescent moon. Inuyasha hadn't understood at first, as he did not have his own crest and the indigo was not the colour match to Sesshoumaru's cobalt crescent.

However when the couple were announced; Sesshoumaru made clear, that Inuyasha was to have a crest of an indigo crescent as the mark of his new branch of the Western family. The colour was that of Inuyasha and his father's youkai markings and the crescent stood for his adopted father and in honour of the fact that he had also been named heir; to his adopted Grandmother, Lady Mother of Sesshoumaru. In doing this, Grandmother officially joined all aspects of the family again; as had been hoped for by the boys' father and herself, before Inuyasha was born.

She now stood beside her son and behind Inuyasha and Rin, as the pair were moved forward and announced; showing a strong united support for the couple, in case any thought that this branch of the West might be considered weaker than it's main stem and vulnerable. Although any who considered the hanyou that defeated Naraku, weaker than any other youkai were fools; but memories can grow short where greed grows and no one wanted war and devastion in their lands.

Inuyasha was overwhelmed as he digested all the implications of his new status and his nerves increased, until Rin turned and gave him the most beautiful smile; while holding his hand tightly in her warm, firm grip. Then he relaxed, she gave him confidence as well as love and she stayed by his side the whole evening; helping him to cope with the guests and their comments and congratulations. She did not take over for him; but as a stunning bride, she was distraction enough to take the pressure away from her mate.

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru and his mother were approached by another Inu lord; he was loud mouthed and astute, but harmless for the most part. He was also incredibly nosy and he asked them some very personal questions; however, knowing that they had an audience listening in, West decided to answer;

"You are not put out at all by this young whelp of a half brother inheriting your mother's domain Sesshoumaru?"

"Of course not, or I would not have permitted the suggestion. As you know I would have been quite within my rights to object and stop the proposal."

"Besides, I do not intend to let him inherit _just_ yet my lord." Said Lady Mother smiling benignly, but with the merest hint of poison around her fangs.

"Precisely the point M'Lady; surely it is not out of the question that a beauty such as yourself may not have another pup yourself in the future, was it wise to name an heir so early?"

"You flatter me. I am already a grandmother and fully occupied with my late Lord's offspring; I do not intend to start a family again with someone who could not possibly measure up to my deceased mate. Inuyasha was to be adopted by me at one point in time and now my son has done so; the pup is well entitled to my legacy one day.

Besides, I hope soon to be a _great_ grandmother; that will be plenty for me, thankyou."

"We thank you for your concern into the welfare of our personal decisions however." Sesshoumaru stated as dismissal and the lord bowed and left, good humourdly and convinced that there was no dissension in the House of the Crescent Moons; as the West would soon come to be known. The Lady and her son kept a close watch on the young couple; who as soon as they could, came to thank them for the feast and all that had been done for them. Sesshoumaru put his arms around them both and walked them slowly to the door; as he did so, a small group of guards closed around his back cutting them off from the rest of the throng and allowing no body out to follow.

In the now relative peace of the corridors, Sesshoumaru kissed them both and handed them over to Shingi and his guard escort; to take them to their Manor and the start of their seclusion. They both hugged him back and he could feel the nervous tension in Inuyasha and the excitement in Rin; so he whispered to them that everything would be fine and if they had any needs or concerns, that a message could be got to him easily. He had already told Rin that there would be servants around to take care of their household needs; although he had not mentioned it to his brother, partly because it would worry him and partly because it was now Rin's responsibility for the house.

As he watched them depart with their escort, Sesshoumaru felt happy for them and a little sad for himself; but he knew Inuyasha was right, he would not lose them. Kagura came and hooked her arm in his, leaning up to kiss him fondly;

"Those two will always come back to you Sesshou; perhaps even more than our own youkai pups, who by nature will be always more independent. Their human hearts are far more needy for love from you; than you will ever realise and you need theirs, dont you my love?"

"More than I would ever have thought possible at one time." He whispered, watching the lights of the escort in the distance; as his pups left their family home for a while at least. As he'd suspected, two shadows one human and one wolf slipped away as well into the darkness; but he was not concerned, his guards had their orders and Kouga and Miroku would be found the next morning by their mates, unharmed but tied to a tree and stripped down to their fundoshi.

Inuyasha and Rin had arrived at the Manor and the guards had taken up their positions around the building; except for Shing who was under instructions to stay in the house. This was to insure Rin's safety; just in the faint chance, that Inuyasha's youkai became out of control in his lust and didn't recognise his mate. Sesshoumaru didn't think it likely, but he had warned Rin in case and told her of the security precaution. She was unbothered and knew that her Papa wouldn't allow harm to come to her and she fully trusted Inuyasha, but she appreciated the caution.

For the young couple, although no body was in sight, the Manor was lit all around with lanterns and candles; which were obviously tended too and they walked around the building slowly, getting used to the idea of being alone. They ended up rather naturally in the bedroom, where a cosy sanctuary had been made; a fire gave off warmth that filled the room and yet was not stifling and here more lanterns hung, creating a rainbow of diffused and gentle light. There was food laid out; fruits, cheeses and cold meats and a jug of rich wine. As they entered the room, the end shoji doors were slid aside by anonymous means; to lead the way to the en suite bathing room similarly lit and warm. In here were soft robes and towels all ready and waiting; in fact not a thing was lacking.

Except for the nerve of one hanyou, who much to his chagrin was finding it hard to breathe and knew that his heart was racing fit to burst. Then Rin once again gave him her lovely smile and offered him a goblet of the wine, which had been mulled to perfection; it's aroma heady with spices. He drank never taking his eyes from hers and soon was pulled into a kiss that was neither sweet nor innocent, but full of subdued passion; by Rin who knew she was going to have to take the lead, at least until his instincts took over.

Kissing was one thing they'd had quite a bit of practice with and both found immensly enjoyable; Inuyasha soon found that his obi was untied and his jacket was shrugging off his shoulders under the careful hands of his mate.

"Why not take a bath to relax yourself Inuyasha, I can tell you are tense and the bath is prepared."

"Feh!" It seemed like a good idea and it would ease the tension and put off the inevitable, which was suddenly a daunting prospect; even though it was looked forward too. He entered the bath room and completed undressing, before sliding into the warm water; the heat combined with the warmed wine reaching his blood and the kisses of Rin, mixed into a irresistable urge to take Rin as his mate...once he woke up and regained his energy. Rin though, had been carefully coached by Kagura in how to seduce her hanyou; the Wind Youkai was certain that the boy knew very little and would be fearful, so she had given Rin lots of ideas with which to entice him.

Rin, having being brought up by Youkai was not shy or bashful; she had never been made to feel a prude over natural things. Since a young child, she had been safe and secure in Sesshoumaru's care and had no more inhibitions than any youkai pup. As she aged she was taught modesty, but not to the point where it hindered her health and she had never been denied honest answers to her questions or fobbed off with human childish analogies. Youkai worked on the principle if you're old enough to ask the question, you are old enough for the truthful answer. Whether or not the answer would be understood was a different matter altogether.

Therefore she was in a much better state of mind with more knowledge than her bashful mate; who only fairly recently realised he was not an abomination or freak of nature and had just been taught about how to carry out the mating. Right now just as Kagura had predicted, Inuyasha was dozing in the warmth of the bath and Rin had to curb her giggle; as she shed her gown and slipped into the water silently. She had got the soap and sponge and crept up to him, before running the sponge across his chest; then as he yelped, his eyes wide in shock, she wrapped her arms and legs around him so that he couldn't leap out and leave her behind.

Once he realised that he had a naked Rin in his arms, other parts of him took great interest and the poor hanyou flushed completely throughout his body; as he completely forgot for the moment, that he was entitled to hold her like this. When he did remember though he was not much better, not daring to put her down; so she removed herself and kissed him hard, pressing herself against the very interested part of his body. Soon he was carrying her out of the pool and over to the futon in front of the fire, letting the heat from it dry off their bodies. When Inuyasha stopped thinking so hard, his instincts and body took over and the words of Sesshoumaru which had deserted him for the time, suddenly made sense.

He was gentle with her, but totally inexperienced; as of course was Rin but once he had found where to enter her, everything else happened so fast for him, that his mate was left high and dry. Although Rin was not surprised, once again Kagura had warned her and told her not to worry and that he would learn; as long as she didn't berate him for not seeing to her needs, it would be for them to learn together and Rin could show him what she liked. And learn they did, with much enjoyable practice; both soon confident with how to please their mate and for Inuyasha, the trust Rin showed in him with her body was overwhelming.

No amount of speech or love shown to him, could convince him that he was not an ugly freak; in the way that one action, taken by his beautiful mate could. Rin allowed him access to her body in the most intimate way and made him feel he was home, wanted and the most desirable person in the world; all by letting him touch, taste and possess her. She knew it too, how could she mistake the wonder in his damp, shining eyes and the touch of his trembling hands as though she were breakable and precious to him; the other part of each other's soul and they both knew that this would never be betrayed.

Rin understood the fragility of Inuyasha's heart, right back from when they used to travel in different but often crossing journeys; she knew of his pain over his brother's hatred, knowing how she would feel if Sesshoumaru had shunned or ignored her, let alone suffer all he had done to his brother. Being so small, she had seen Inuyasha's eyes as he got up hurt from the ground; when Kagome would 'sit' him and before he pulled his mask of annoyance and indifference into place. Rin was determined to erase the former bad memories that she was aware still lingered and prove that he was lovable, not just as duty but for himself; determined he would never feel alone or despised again.

By the end of their week of seclusion the pair were comfortable with each other and had a better understanding of each other's desires and needs; they knew where a discreet touch on each other's body would bring a shiver of pleasure and they each had secret smiles, that they felt only they could read. In short they were a newly mated pair in love and would be easily understood by any other happily mated pair. Inuyasha now knew how to pleasure his mate, bringing her to ecstasy before his own need overwhelmed him and he was able to 'last' much longer for both their benefit; they were happy and fulfilled in each other.

On the seventh day they had visitors and their servants paid great attention to the food prepared; Sesshoumaru and Kagura had come to invite them back home. Everything was as it should be, Rin was marked as Inuyasha's mate by her scent; which now was mixed with his and would get stronger naturally the more they were intimate together. Sesshoumaru of course knew most of what happened in the Manor; Shingi could hardly not hear what was happening, besides keeeping a check on Inuyasha's youkai and in turn had told his Lord, when he had come every evening to assertain for himself that everything was fine.

The Daiyoukai informed his mate that her advice to Rin had been correct and that everything had worked out eventually for the pair; Inuyasha now able to take the more dominant role in the relationship, as was proper. Kagura just rolled her eyes and smirked behind her fan; she had also advised Rin to let Inuyasha think he was being dominant, she would soon learn she was the one with the power in the bedroom as time went on. Not that either of them would mind that, as they truly loved each other; neither would intentionally cause harm to the other, any more than she and Sesshoumaru would, all in all it all made for balance and harmony.

Tonight however, the newly mated couple would go back to the Palace; content and happy and with a new peace in Inuyasha, that boded well for him. They were welcomed back by all the pups and Kaede, who was relieved at the more calm aura of the hanyou and the completeness she could feel in his soul. That night, they rejoined the family futon under Sesshoumaru's greatful guard; as again he stayed awake, watching over his family and trying to put to the back of his mind the slight unease he felt about Rin's new scent.

TBC


	65. Unforeseen Problem

Ch 65 Unforeseen Problem

Everything one again settled into routine in the House of the Crescent Moons; once the honeymoon period had passed for Rin and Inuyasha, work reared it's ugly head and the couple returned to their businesses. Sesshoumaru's latent fears were mainly appeased, the couple returned to the family futon and used their personal rooms if they wished for privacy or spent time in their Manor and everything was fine.

Except for the odd scent; that was still a puzzle for the Daiyoukai who felt he should understand about it, but the answer was elusive and kept slipping from the edge of his mind. But he didn't worry overly, there was no doubt it was their mating scent and Rin was completely marked; plus the pair were obviously well suited and happy, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

For the next few months life was busy, the pups all ran around causing their nurses and guards the usual headaches as they explored and hid in the grounds; aided and abetted by Uncle Yassa who would allow them to hide in the Manor as well, where they would watch the searches with glee. The little whelps knew that it could not be assumed that they were safe and sound and until Inuyasha took pity on the hunters by indicating that they could go in and chase the pups out squealing; they had to go and seek for them.

At the dinner table one evening Inuyasha's eyes lit up and he stared at Kagura who blushed under his knowing grin; then he turned and spoke to Sesshoumaru;

"You have been making good use of the time that we had the pups over haven't you Sessh..." He sniffed gently. "Twins again. Well done."

"These will be the last for a while at least; six fairly close is good. Now we will be leaving the rest to you; in fact I'm surprised that Rin is not already pupped, the way you both adore and want your own."

"Feh! We're working on it." He said, blushing to his roots; which made Sesshoumaru smirk, the pup was still easily embarrassed and it paid him back for Kagura's pink cheeks. "Heh! Rin and me wanted to have a small party at the Manor; will that be O.K? Just close friends...You know."

"Of course Inuyasha, you know you may do this whenever you like."

"Keh! I know, but's only polite to ask before you have guests traipsin' about the place." He smiled as Sesshoumaru smiled too and then ran off to tell Rin they could start planning. Of course the number was greater than they'd realised, which gave Inuyasha a nice surprise; he could count all these people as his friends now and a few weeks later the party was well under way, all their immediate friends were there with their pups, cubs and children. Sesshoumaru and Kagura too stayed for quite a while until Kagura was tired; then they left, leaving Inuyasha in charge of their offspring, he and Rin didn't mind though they both loved the pups.

Kaede stayed for some time and even had her own guest room in the Manor; she was well cared for, even though now her age was once again catching up with her. She enjoyed her talks with Jinenji who always sought her out; the quiet and unassuming horse hanyou now had many friends too, but was still quite retiring although not rudely shy. Shiori was there with her mother and their guardian; he had taken a shine to the young hanyou who was his friend's daughter and she to him, but was still far too young to mate.

But it was of comfort to her mother that she would know when it was her time to go, Shiori would be looked after. Sesshoumaru had taken on legal guardianship of the girl, to come into effect on her mother's death or incapacity and providing for a chaperone so that the young hanyou would not be exploited or taken too soon. Although he would arrange that she be given the option, to choose a loving mate at the appropriate time; Sesshoumaru knew too of the older Bat Youkai's interest and he would be favoured if that was still Shiori's wish.

At the moment however it was Jinenji who along with Kaede, were talking together so intensely that it caught the InuYoukai's attention; something the herbalist had said to Kaede had made her close her eyes in sorrow, as she shook her head and even brushed tears from her eyes. As he knew that Jinenji was not intimidating the elderly human in anyway, Sesshoumaru was concerned as to what would make her upset; he'd known the Miko for many years now and knew she did not give way to tears, for no good reason.

When he was free to do so, Sesshoumaru asked the pair to go with him to another room where they could speak privately.

"Something causes you distress Miko Kaede, is something wrong? Do you need to see the healer or is Jinenji able to provide for your needs?"

"No my Lord, thank ye; it is not I with the problem. Jinenji has noticed something though."

"Speak." Sesshoumaru required of the large horse hanyou.

"Sire, have you noticed a strangeness to your daughter Rin's scent?"

"It has changed somewhat, but that is her mated scent; at first I found it a little strange but now I am usd to it. What worries you, she is not suffering illness; it does not cause that type of concern?"

"It is the mating scent that is not right. Therefore it is not Rin herself, but Inuyasha who has a problem; one which is not life threatening, but is not curable either with any herbs or potions either of us can make." At Sesshoumaru's amber glare, Jinenji continued. " Inuyasha's seed carries no life within it, that is why Rin's mating scent is flat; they cannot have pups of their own."

"How do you know this when none of my own healers have noticed?"

"They most likely have not come across the problem and do not know what the scent portends; I on the other hand have many come to me for cures, the scent on their wives is similar to Rin. I am sorry My Lord."

"He is sterile, is this because he is hanyou?"

"No My Lord, it is not; hanyou can reproduce. If it had been otherwise I would have told him long ago."

"Why then, it is not something that happens to youkai; if they are childless it is normally because of personal desire or permanant injury."

"I think it has to be some such reason with your brother too; the youkai in him would have countered any deficiency of his human side, if that were to blame."

"Miko, do you know if my brother has suffered any such injury?"

"No, My Lord, I am sure he hasn't since I've known him; it is so unfair, they both want pups so much." Kaede couldn't help it and started to weep again. The door was flung open and Inuyasha raced in; coming to a halt when he saw who was in the room.

"Oi, Kaede, what's up? You're all right aren't you, do you need to lie down? Jinenji what does she need and I'll go and get it?"

"Hush child, I am fine; just tired that's all."

"Stop jumping to conclusions pup and go to your mate, I am sure she and your guests are missing you." Inuyasha looked between them all and humphed; he knew he was being dismissed but would keep his questions till later, obediently leaving them alone. When he was certain they were not being overheard Sesshoumaru once again asked;

"You feel this is because of injury and yet the Miko does not recall a serious hurt in the sensitive area for my brother? How do you read this then?"

"I have only dealt with humans with this problem Sire; but with them it could be an old infected injury that has been untended, or sometimes an illness. Some to be sure are born without living seed; but this is unlikely to be Inuyasha's problem, purely because he is half youkai."

"I will speak with my healer about your supposition; can I call on you for further aid if neccessary?"

"Of course My Lord Sesshoumaru."

The next day. Sesshoumaru sought out his healers and asked them if they'd noticed the newly mated scent of Rin as being strange. They looked at each other and discussed the notion; coming to the conclusion that yes, they had noticed but that it was not something they had come across before. Except for one, he had been a field doctor and he said that now he came to think on it, the scent was familiar. Sesshoumaru then told them of Jinenji's theory about Inuyasha, hoping that his older and far more experienced advisors would gainsay the hanyou's ideas.

Instead he found that they took the thought seriously as they admitted that Jinenji probably had more knowledge than they did with this sort of problem, as Youkai did not suffer from sterility. If such a problem existed, the youkai would heal itself; as should Inuyasha's own. But in the case of severe injury, that might be a different matter although realy he should still have healed. The healers would study the manuscripts to see if there were any other similar cases written down in the past and until then they reasoned that it would be wiser for the young couple not to know of their predicament.

Time marched on and unknown to Inuyasha and Rin, a lot of studying was going on by the healers in the Palace and in the more humble abode of Jinenji; many times the scent was checked discreetly several times a day to see if it ever changed and if it did what it could mean. The conclusions they all eventually came to was that they would need to examine the hanyou before any other diagnosis could be made. But so far, there was no concern from Rin or Inuyasha that she was not yet pupped and so the further tests would have to wait.

Everything came to a head several months later when Kagura went into labour and gave birth to another set of twins; two identical boys, identical to each other and their father but with only a singular facial stripe and the crescent moon. Their bodies too had only a single stripe, where their Sire had two and they were both large pups; Kagura felt exhausted by giving birth to them and also very lucky, they were both poison youkai but had obviously been born safely. But the fright that Sesshoumaru had when this was discovered decided him.

"These will be our last pups Kagura; had they damaged you during their birth, I could have lost you." It made no difference the healer telling him that the poison would not be effective against the mother until after they were detached from the placenta, Sesshoumaru would not be swayed; but having just given birth, Kagura was not in the mind to challenge him at the moment anyway. When Rin and Inuyasha came in to see the new arrivals Kagura told them of her mates decision;

"It looks like it will be up to you two for the next pups, you must hurry so they can all grow up together." Then she dozed off to sleep, not noticing the ominous few seconds of silence. Sesshoumaru however saw both Rin and Inuyasha tense up at that comment; even as each held one of the twins and when Rin turned to him with tears coursing down her face, he knew they were not the happy tears for the birth of these babies. Giving the pup to the nurse; he folded his daughter to his breast and watched as his brother despairing at Rin's sorrow and putting his pup down in the crib, left to go to his own room and grieve in private.

Now Sesshoumaru knew that the couple had noticed and wondered that they had remained pupless and his heart clenched at his daughter's distraught words as she sobbed;

"We have been trying for a pup but...Oh Papa, I don't think we can; it's been over a year and still nothing." Rin gripped him tightly and Kagura who had awoken to hear the last few words, sat up and held her arms out to her daughter who ran to her and wept in her arms.

"See to Inuyasha Sesshou, I'll look after Rin." Kagura said and Sesshoumaru nodded and followed his brother's easy trail; right to Inuyasha's room which he now shared with Rin. Inuyasha was standing in the window with his arms wrapped around himself, aware that his brother had entered but not ready to face him yet. There were no tears this time; but his eyes were hollow and dark with misery, as he looked out through the windows to the garden. In private he and Rin had shared enough tears every time her menses showed; the proof that he had not planted a pup in her womb yet again.

It was clear to him by her scent that she was not losing a pup at any time, it was not as if one was failing to root in her; no, the problem was his seed in some way. He was failing to give her the baby she was so hoping for and it was looking more certain that he too, would never know the joy of holding his own pup. It was clear that there was only one course of action open to him and he turned to face his silent brother; his voice clipped and flat.

"I release Rin from our bond Sessh; she wants pups and has the right to them, there are plenty of others who would mate and love her with understanding. I know the fault lies with me somehow." Inuyasha was wound like a spring but only held up by sheer determination and he flinched when Sesshoumaru moved towards him. "Go Sessh, you have new pups you should be with them and your mate; I'll be fine, please go to them, leave me be." Sesshoumaru was torn; between heeding his brother's wishes and knowing that the pup needed him and his new little ones who too, needed him.

"Go please Sessh; I don't want this day overshadowed for you." Inuyasha waited until his brother left, before collapsing in a huddle on the floor. Sesshoumaru went to Kagura where he found her holding a sleeping Rin and as his new pups were also sleeping in the nursemaid's care, he went back to his brother and found that Inuyasha was in a heap on the floor with Yuki stroking his head. He stayed out of sight and scent to listen to what his pup was saying;

"Yassa, don't cry; you can choose some of us as your pups, now there's some more." There was no answer. "Damnit Yassa, This Yuki commands you to stop weeping and listen to me." The resemblance to his Papa was uncanny.

"I'm listening pup and you'd better stop your bad language or I shall be the one in trouble. I heard you the first time; you really think your Mama and Papa would part with any of you brats?"

"Well six is a lot of pups to love isn't it?" Inuyasha heard the insecurity in his voice but was not going to pander to it.

"You think love is limited pup? It's not, it grows and your parents love you all just as much as they always have; if not more, so don't be stupid. You've got it good, you're loved, never lonely and have built in friends with your brothers and sisters. You will never know what it is to starve or be hated, you don't even know what it is to be unhappy; so let's keep it that way shall we and never let Mama or Papa think that you want to leave them for even a minute, grownups can have hurt feelings too you know."

"I'm sorry Yassa, but I didn't know what else to say."

"That's O.K. kid, don't worry yerself. Go and play with the others and think on, value each other Yuki; you're the oldest, make sure the little ones know you love them and you'll always care for them." His voice got small but for once there was no rejoinder, Yuki knew that his uncle was serious and something told him there was more to his statements than the pup knew. But he was old enough to recognise pain and once again petted his uncle, much as he'd seen his father do at times.

"Don't be sad anymore Yassa; Papa will fix the problem."

"I don't think even Papa can sort this one pup."

"I bet he can, there's nothing he can't do." With that bold and wonderful thought, Yuki kissed Inuyasha on the forehead and went to find his siblings; so that they could all go and visit the new pups. His father ruffled his hair as the boy passed; earning a grin, before he went in to Inuyasha who was once again staring out of the window.

"You do not share Ginyukimaru's confidence in This Sesshoumaru Inuyasha?" His tone light. "I do not blame you, but I do have some suggestions for you. As it happens, it has been apparent for some time to myself and my healers; that you cannot seed pups and we have been trying to figure out why. Before you get angry that this was kept from you, we were not certain that they would not come about given time."

"Feh!"

"Oh and Inuyasha, I would not mention to Rin your ridiculous notion about releasing her; she is normally sweet tempered but that suggestion might change that. I have seen her anger before and if you have problems now in seeding pups, she will make sure you cannot. Tomorrow we go to the healers and I have asked Setsuzentaru to attend you, he too will be here tomorrow.

Inuyasha looked sombrely at his brother, grateful for the considerations that had been taken for him, but unconvinced that there was a solution. When Sesshoumaru asked him if he had been injured or suffered some illness, he had to turn his face away; but his answer was, that he didn't remember anything specific or out of the ordinary. Then Sesshoumaru asked if he would have any objections to being questioned by Setsuzentaru; to which Inuyasha replied no, not if it would help.

That was a relief to his brother, Kaede had wondered if the human aspect of Inuyasha had been able to hide away an unpleasant memory, that was now forgotten that might hold the key to his sterility; if so he was hoping that the Eagle might be able to find out what had happened. Not that even if they did, a solution would be worked out; but at the moment it might be all they had and at least it was a start.

TBC


	66. Reasons Why

Ch 66 Reasons Why

The next day found a nervous Inuyasha, holding tightly to the hand of Rin; being surrounded by two healers and Setsuzentaru, along with Sesshoumaru. He felt greatly intimidated; old buried inadequacies surfacing, as he felt compelled to acknowledge to himself that as a hanyou he really was inferior to the full bloods, youkai and human.

Sesshoumaru looked at him in concern, the anxiety was rolling off Inuyasha in waves and so was the self loathing; the Daiyoukai recognised all of Inuyasha's scents. He had been amused when he'd seen them that morning hand in hand, as Inuyasha was sporting a very red pair of cheeks; he had not heeded his brother's warning and had offered to release Rin from their bond.

She had proceded to show him vociferously how much she thought of that idea and he had been glad that she had never had an enchanted necklace for him. Inuyasha had never seen such a rage before and she finished off by striking him hard on each cheek; before bursting into loud and noisy tears worthy of an uninhibited child, rather than a grown woman. He had been in so much turmoil from that, that he hadn't noticed that Rin had already got him half naked and was doing incredible things to his body; so they were a bit late, meeting with Sesshoumaru and for the healers.

But Sesshoumaru was not amused now and went to Inuyasha taking him aside and whispering to him; that if for any reason the pup was going to start to put himself down because of this, he would find himself over his brothers knee and in pain. It gained him the startled, self deprecating little grin that eased a bit of the tension; before Setsuzentaru came to him and as he did before, knelt down to look Inuyasha straight in the eyes. He smiled when he saw the convulsive squeeze Inuyasha gave to Rin's hand.

"Now then chick, you know I will not hurt you; I want to ask you some questions, so will you get comfortable for me?"

"Feh! Inuyasha knew that his great age, gave the Eagle the desire to talk to him like he was a very small pup; but it was nonetheless reassuring. He did not remember very clearly the other times the Eagle had seen into his mind, he only remembered that he had somehow helped him. Inuyasha could feel Sesshoumaru behind him just before he was pulled into the youkai's lap and held against his chest firmly.

What was all this about? Inuyasha started to panic and then he could hear the low growls of his brother, along with the petting of his ears; which immediately gave him confidence in the situation. The growls were almost hypnotic and Inuyasha didn't fuss when the Eagle broke a crystal in his hand to pass under the hanyou's nose sending him into a deep sleep.

"This may take some time as I will not invade his privacy; that would be tantamount to raping his mind. As Inuyasha is in his right mind now he may prevent me from seeing some of his secrets; I will only be allowed where he lets me go, although I _am_ very persuasive. Do you understand?"

"Of course, as last time I am well able to support him." In point of fact he was supporting two; as Rin was leaning against him as well, while holding tightly to Inuyasha's hand. As Setsuzentaru placed his hands around Inuyasha's face and started to enter his mind, the pup started to struggle; but Rin had been prepared for this and she held up well, even when her mate started to moan as if in pain. Inside his head, the Eagle ploughed down through the layers; noting with satisfaction that there was much more light and colour than when he had searched before. But these areas he by-passed, he was not looking for recent memories or indeed any after the boy had been pinned to the tree; like Kaede, he thought there must be a long buried and forgotten incident.

No, he was looking for a hidden pocket of black amongst the darkness that was still a good part of Inuyasha's subconscious; some of the things the boy had suffered even if remembered and accepted as past and forgiven, would never be able to be anything but black for him. The eagle eventually found what he had been searching for and gently tried unravelling it; surprised when the human element of Inuyasha objected, but was over ridden by his youkai. The struggle was intense but the youkai won and led the way to the forgotten memory.

All that could be seen from Sesshoumaru and Rin's vantage point was the wailing of the human, as he was once again confronted with the memory and then the very real youkai now sitting in his brother's lap asleep. Soon Setsuzentaru came too, his eyes taking on his own thoughts again.

"The chick thought it would be best if he told you himself, now that he has remembered and his youkai made the humane side of him retreat; so that he as youkai, could help himself as hanyou. These are the chick's own words; now if you wish I can bring him back to a sleep that you will be able to question him in, before I revive him completely. It is probably advisable, as he can see this memory only in his head; if he awakens, some of it will slip away as his subconscious tries to bury it again."

"Do so...If you please." Sesshoumaru and Rin waited until the red glow from Inuyasha's eyes could just be seen; through the slight opening of his eyelashes, as he was in a semi conscious state. Sesshoumaru let out some of his own youki energy to comfort Inuyasha's and let him know that his Alpha was nearby; in order to prevent any misunderstandings. But as before, Inuyasha was more controlled as a youkai and made no threatening moves; besides he also recognised his mate nearby. The Eagle started him off;

"The memory in the darkness; will you describe what you see Inuyasha please? Your Alpha needs to know exactly what you see and remember." Setsuzentaru had put his hands back around Inuyasha's head as the youkai thrashed around a bit and then he steadied; his breathing evening out and his ruby eyes closing shut once more.

"Small pup Inuyasha hanyou, hiding from Inu youkai followers; gets caught in barn." Now Sesshoumaru took over the questions.

"How old were you Inuyasha and why were you in the barn?"

"Inuyasha about twelve, loose count of years. Very cold night. Cave too cold to sleep. Youkai watching cave so Inuyasha creep out secret way and go to village at night." So, Inuyasha had known that he was watched sometimes and had given them the slip.

"What happened in the barn?"

"Barn was warm, cow let me sleep near body and let me drink milk; knew Inuyasha hungry and cold. Cow kind to Inuyasha. In morning men come and catch hanyou asleep next to cow and pull him out, tie him to post and whip him hard. Much pain for hanyou; say Inuyasha curse, cow give no milk anymore. Not true, I not hurt cow. Hanyou dropped down post and great sharp pain in Inuyasha private part near top of leg, made hanyou pass out. Next thing Inuyasha know is untied at bottom of post and pink barrier all around, just big enough to let him lie down."

"Why the barrier?"

"Stop Inuyasha passing it and going away. People came to see abomination. Sign said freak on display; sometimes made barrier really small and purify youkai leave human. People watch not help. Human Inuyasha in much pain from groin and purifying; then fever come, hanyou not have time to stop fever before human again and again."

"How long were you in this village?" Sesshoumaru didn't know how he was keeping his temper; but it was imperative he did so, in case he alarmed the youkai speaking.

"Inuyasha not know, could be seven days; too much pain, fever, sometimes sleep and bad dreams sometimes stay awake from pain. Inuyasha cry for Mama but not remember she dead; cry for Sesshoumaru but he not come. No one come, help Inuyasha; people only laugh when he cry so stopped crying."

"How did you get free?"

"Don't know, one night barrier gone and human Inuyasha escape but fell down hill. Found cave and burning all over fever, day and night don't know how long; weak hanyou keep crying for brother but he not care. I tell him; Alpha brother never come, hate weak hanyou. So thirsty, so hungry; no food, no water. Nothing to clean poison from wound, it smell go bad; when not purify, youkai blood try to heal properly, only kill fever, get rid of poison. Make Inuyasha better to get food and water. He go back to own cave and sleep long time, then forget all bad time, till now. Weak human still not want remembering; making him cry again, inside head now." The evidence for that was all too clear as Sesshoumaru wiped the youkai boy's face.

"Do not berate any part of yourself for how you are made Inuyasha; you have had more than enough cause for tears in your life."

"Keh!" Inuyasha stayed silent as there were no questions; but all had been affected by what they'd heard; Rin was having a hard time because she'd wanted to cry for him but knew that it would distract her mate, so she bottled it; besides there were still things to be heard, things that the healers still needed to know. Sesshoumaru too was desolate inside, not that any would know from the exterior face; but Rin could feel him shuddering deeply within his body. He was handed paper with questions the healers wanted answering.

"Inuyasha, do you know what caused the sharp pain?"

"Something on the post went in."

"Did it come out with the poison, or is it still there?"

"I don't know."

"Is there still pain or discomfort at any time for you?"

"Sometimes an ache, feels like bruises when I piss or mate."

"What if you touch yourself there?"

"Inuyasha not touch unless washing. Sometimes aches, sometimes when fall on ground with rosary or fighting; I not notice much anymore."

"Can you feel touch or pain now, while you are asleep?" As he asked this question Sesshoumaru pinched Inuyasha's leg with no reaction.

"No, I don't think I feel." He went silent again, while the healers discussed around him. They thought they could to do a search near the affected area, the field surgeon had very sharp razor like claws; if only Inuyasha could be kept immobile with the crystal causing the induced sleep. On getting the go ahead for the next day by the Eagle youkai, who broke another crystal under Inuyasha's nose bringing him round; the healers left to prepare. Inuyasha came to himself again as a hanyou; who found himself held strongly by Sesshoumaru with a distraught Rin, holding the hand she had never let go.

"Stop fretting Sessh, it's a long time ago and I'd forgotten it." But his voice was heavy and sad as he spoke, knowing now that his hopes of fatherhood were probably gone.

"I would have decimated that village had I known Inuyasha; I would have left none alive for what they did to you."

"Well p'raps it's just as well you didn't then eh; not everyone joined in, besides...it was always open season for human or youkai on hanyou wasn't it." As there was no answer any could give, the silence fell once more; before Rin took his hand and led him away to the little Manor House where they could be private. Sesshoumaru however couldn't forget; nor felt that he should. Once more his self righteous and hateful behaviour of the past had cost his little brother dearly; with no clear indication that it could be made right.

Inuyasha and Rin didn't return to the family futon that night; the memory had left the hanyou's nerves raw and bleeding, as snippets that had long been buried kept coming to the fore. This was a memory he had not dealt with in the light of his brother's newer benevolence and it was very painful; Rin held him and let him talk well into the night, but the strain of knowing this was the source of their problems, was still hard to cope with. Out of everything, the 'if onlys' from this, just wouldn't subside.

Sesshoumaru stood all night gazing with miserable eyes towards the Manor House and silently promised Inuyasha that if there was a way for him to be cured, his brother would do all in his power to find it. He waited with impatience for the next morning and after seeing Kagura and his new twins, who would be able to join the family group soon; Sesshoumaru kept his eyes open for the missing couple to return to the Palace. As he watched he saw them crossing the lawn and went to greet them, dismayed at the puffy reddened eyes both had; but gallantly not mentioning the fact. He put an arm round each, aware of the tensing of his brother's shoulders and ignoring that too.

After breakfast, Setsuzentaru came in behind Inuyasha and broke a crystal beneath his nose causing the boy to fall asleep without his knowledge. Rin was alarmed until Sesshoumaru told her to trust him and to go to Kagura who would explain; they had not wanted to tell Inuyasha what was to happen, so that he was not scared enough to fight them. Setsuzentaru verified that Inuyasha was too deeply asleep to feel anything and Sesshoumaru picked him up and carried the boneless hanyou to the healers.

They wanted the Lord to leave considering the delicate area in which they were to work, but Sesshoumaru vetoed that; he needed to know what had happened to his brother and to make sure that the boy showed no signs of pain, even though the Eagle would carry on observing the brain activity. The two surgeons needed to work quickly and having the patient so relaxed was a great help, as it enabled them to pinpoint a slightly raised area that shouldn't have been there. Because there was no tension in any of the surrounding flesh, it showed up more as unnatural.

The field surgeon took a deep breath, steadying his hand; especially needed under the intense amber gaze of his lord and ran the tip of his claw over the ridge of tissue, cutting deeper on each pass and parting the layers of skin. The tissue was not normal and so the surgeon pared it away until only healthy flesh was left and eventually he reached a huge splinter of wood, that on close inspection had had a rusty nail embedded in it; as it still carried particles of the decayed metal.

"Regardless of anything else, the young master will be relieved to find that has gone My Lord; he will find his other activities much more comfortable now." Sesshoumaru's face actually blanched when he saw the size of the splinter which had been lodged in such a sensitive area of Inuyasha's body for most of his life. The healer flushed out the wound with herbal water and bound the hanyou's legs together and covering his modesty with a sheet, so that healing would be easier. His youki would heal him quickly now; without the need for bandages.

"Do you understand more now?" Asked Sesshoumaru who was stroking his brother's silver head. The healers deliberated.

"It would seem that as this splinter did not come free with the poisonous infection that it set up and because of Inuyasha's system being severely compromised, with fever and lack of medical care; plus the ill treatment for such a long time connected with this episode, it would seem that his youki energy could not heal him properly and so it has cordoned the splinter off in scar tissue." Here he took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, the splinter and subsequent scarring has severed the connection; stopping his viable seed from reaching it's proper destination."

"Which means?"

"The damage is far too extensive and has lasted too long to repair even naturally. Although it's only on the one side which usually in such cases of injury, leaves the other intact; reducing his chances to procreate by half, this splinter has also pierced the area that joins the two. This is the most grievous point and Inuyasha's youki is obviously not strong enough to heal this or it would have done so."

"Will it not do so now that the splinter is no longer blocking it?"

"It may, but the damage will still be great and his chances have not considerably changed. I am sincerely sorry My Lord that I could not do more for the young Master."

"On the contrary, you have done great work and I thank you Master Healer on behalf of Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru's mind had hit on an idea and he summoned Myouga to him, before he asked Setsuzentaru to awaken his brother. Then having dismissed the flea to carry out his Lord's order, he prepared to speak to his brother;

"Awaken chick, it is time for you to come back to us." called the Eagle; who when he saw that all was well, took his own leave for the time. Holding Inuyasha securely, Sesshoumaru explained what had been happening to him and why he was naked under the sheet; as the pup fought off with profuse blushes, the nurse who needed to check that his wound was healing cleanly.

To forestall any further indignant growling from the boy, Sesshoumaru showed him the splinter and it worked, Inuyasha actually was reduced to silence. Too much silence, as he viewed the source of his trouble and remembered the pain of receiving it in the first place; he suddenly turned his face into Sesshoumaru's chest, his wave of grief intense and all the older sibling could do was sit and rock him, for as long as it took.

It was Kagura who came in next; with honey sweetened milk and she gave it to Sesshoumaru, while it cooled and she relieved him of his brother. Holding Inuyasha in her lap she crooned pup songs to the boy and carried on the soothing rocking motion; having heard all the details from Rin and Setsuzentaru. When the milk was cooled enough to drink, she made sure he swallowed every last drop; as she sat on the edge of the bed which helped her support the hanyou.

Soon the drug Kagura had put in the drink kicked in and Inuyasha fell asleep into a peaceful rest; he'd not had much during the night as he'd been almost manic between trying to get Rin pregnant and bemoaning the fact that she wasn't. Sesshoumaru waited for the healer to give Inuyasha the all clear and carried him back to his bed to finish healing in comfort. Inuyasha slept the rest of the day away and didn't wake when the nurse unbound him, allowing him to be dressed and Sesshoumaru brought him into the family futon once again; protecting him with his own body to stop the pups from unintentionally lashing out with a foot or arm.

In the morning Inuyasha was much restored; his wound had healed and for the first time he was conscious of having no dull ache whenever he moved ,or attended to his physical needs. In fact in many small ways he was more supple and walked more freely and he was eager to try out his new flexibility in the dojo. Shingi was happy to oblige; although mindful of the fact that although the pup was healed, he would still be tired from the whole process. He was still in the gym when Myouga returned from obeying Sesshoumaru's orders and when Totousai went to speak with the Lord in his study.

Of course when the Youkai Smith removed one of Sesshoumaru's fangs, the Lord made no sound as befitting a Daiyoukai; but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt. Totousai left as swiftly as he'd come, smirking at his Lordship's pain; but not letting him see and telling him that he would be back by the end of the month.

TBC


	67. Totousai Returns

Ch 67 Totousai Returns

Authors note; some swearing in this chapter. I apologise but I couldn't write it properly without.

There was growing tension between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru as the week progressed; sparks of anger, rudeness and deliberate disobedience from the younger were the least harmful of the evidence. Far more damaging was the recoil, if the elder touched the younger; the rigidity in the way the boy held himself and the fact that he had removed himself from the family futon whilst insisting that Rin stayed. Inuyasha would no longer spar with his brother because of the anger that would suddenly surge to the front of his mind and the desire to do him great harm.

Inuyasha himself didn't fully understand the hostility he felt, after all he had genuinely forgiven his brother the past and Sesshoumaru had not known of this terrible incident; had he done so he would have extracted a terrible revenge even at the time. But Sesshoumaru knew why; Inuyasha's youkai blamed him, he instinctively knew that pack didn't behave like he had treated the younger sibling and that it was indirectly the Daiyoukai's fault that the hanyou was sterile. At his most basic level, Inuyasha blamed his brother for the fact that he would never have pups of his own to carry on his line.

Inuyasha was also feeling vulnerable because he felt that his life was exposed to general view and so were his emotions; he hated the fact that he sometimes had no control and felt manipulated; even if he admitted it was for his own good. He had never given anyone such complete control over him before, in the days when he was fighting Naraku; although he grinned ruefully to himself, who was he kidding, Kagome had always had control over his every word and deed with the rosary.

But then as usual reason came to his rescue, reminding him of the life before and the life now and showing him the advantages of being Sesshoumaru's now much loved pup; he knew he didn't really want to go back to the bleak and lonely older times, even if sometimes he felt that his brother was a bit too controlling. He'd laughed again as he realised all pups must sometimes feel that their parents had too much to say, in how their offspring's lives were lived. He'd heard it from his friends and even Miroku's children got exasperated with the 'fence' he'd put around them, especially his daughters and yet they all knew that they had safety and love when their parents cared.

There were good days and bad days for Inuyasha; made worse because he knew he was upsetting everyone and yet he didn't know how to change the situation. Rin missed him not only at night in the family futon; but he did not come to her as her mate either. She knew he felt inadequate even though he understood why but she did not pressurize him; Kaede advised letting him work through it himself. He would come to her for love and comfort eventually, as long as Rin didn't close off from him. That was all very well, but the girl was hurting too; not for herself but for the injustice that her mate was going through yet again.

It was a vicious circle for them all, Rin went to Kagura and Sesshoumaru with her troubles not wishing to further Inuyasha's and the hanyou felt that he was driving her away back to her parent's arms. Yet feeling he did not having the option for that himself when he so wanted them; it made him feel very alone and as if everyone was looking at him with pity and derision. Knowing that it was not so just made him more angry at himself and the world in general.

One day when he felt particularly antisocial, he went to visit his mother's grave and ran his hands over the damage that he'd caused a few years ago now. He still regretted the harsh words he had bitterly yelled at his mother's memory and as Grandmother had said, it did remind him of not jumping to conclusions; to see the mild desecration he'd made. He also knew that Kagura had followed him, he could feel her gentle but powerful presence; just before he felt her arms go around him and with just her there, he was able to relax a bit by leaning on her shoulder.

"Your Mama would be so proud of you Inuyasha; I know Sesshou and I are."

"None of you would be if you knew my recent thoughts, Kagura."

"Yes we are pup and we do know and understand. Believe me. You are fully entitled to your anger and pain."

"It gets me nowhere; anger, pain, never in my life has either truly served me. Oh, perhaps in killing Naraku. But it is either anger or tears and I am so sick of crying all the time. I was never such a weakling before; all the time on my own, I rarely gave in. But since I've lived with you and Sessh..." He sighed.

"Hardly _all_ the time child; but you are young and for the first time have been safe enough to let go sometimes, at least around those who love you and can comfort you. All pups need that; you were denied so long that you lost the ability to let others know how you feel. You've just got it back along with your childhood, it is essential if you are to develop properly and not be emotionally stunted. I know you are mated but you are still just a boy Inuyasha; not yet a fully matured youkai and your human aspect gives you more ready emotion than if you were as your brother, a full Inuyokai."

"I used to want to be just like him Kagura, so in control; so perfect and sure, but you know that."

"I do, I know lots of things Inuyasha; one of the perks of the multitude of Naraku's youkai mix, was a mass of knowledge which I have retained. My knowledge goes back far more years than I have lived."

"Sometimes I hate the human in me, then I feel terrible as if I'm denying my mother; but I wish for more control like your pups or my brother."

"No Inuyasha, were it not for your humanity you would not be you and we would all be the poorer for that. You have done much to help us all and we do not wish you to change. Sesshoumaru is not _without _emotion and feeling, in fact he feels things very intensely; but his tears are often inside and cause him much grief. Especially now, he is very unhappy about what has happened; his guilt even stronger _because_ he loves you so much."

"I don't blame Sessh, but I can't help think if only and then I get upset and angry...it makes me want to lash out at him somehow, yet I don't really want to harm him."

"You can't regret your past and all the ramifications more deeply than he does Inuyasha and the fact that he cannot undo it for you, hurts him far more than any sword wound. He suffers greatly whenever you shy away from him or he sees tears in yours and Rin's eyes; don't let this split the family Inuyasha please." He heard her plea and understood it, but felt once again the onus was being put on him; this time he rebelled.

"I'm hardly splitting _your_ family Kagura, you have your mate and pups; excuse me for not yet being reconciled to _my_ loss and the look of despair in my mate's eyes. So I'm _sorry_ that Sessh is unhappy about things and I'm _sorry_ that I haven't just been able to put it all behind me and forget it yet. Perhaps one day I shall, but at the moment it just feels like shit to know that Sesshoumaru and the rest of the world was right and that hanyou are inferior; still I s'pose that the tainted blood will at least end with me." The shocked look on Kagura's face did nothing to ease his pain; it only made him guilty for lashing out at the woman who'd been so kind to him.

He couldn't face her anymore and leapt away to hide in his cave. He was still there when Sesshoumaru came to him.

"Have you finished Inuyasha, is all the vitriol out of your system or do you still have something to say? In future if you still feel anger, please direct it to the one who caused it and not someone who has your best interests at heart. Kagura feels she has upset you and is now in tears, unable at the moment to speak coherently; so I ask you, what did she say to have you turn on her?"

"Nothing, it is all my fault O.K. Everything is my fault, Kagura is upset, it's my fault; Sesshoumaru is upset, it's my fault. Rin, Kagome, even myself; it's all my fault isn't it?

"Stop this self pity Inuyasha; it is not helping anybody."

"Yeah well screw you, I don't _feel _like helping anybody bastard. I don't give a shit about any of you anymore, leave me alone." His eyes opened as he saw the slap coming, just before it hit him straight across his face sending him flying across the ground.

"Cease with the vulgar language whelp." Was the cold rejoinder and it was enough to set Inuyasha off and with a huge scream full of pent up fury, he launched himself at Sesshoumaru; his claws out and his fangs bared. The fight was short and intense, Sesshoumaru letting Inuyasha get in some very painful hits; until the boy collapsed exhausted on the ground, after smelling his brother's blood. The Daiyoukai gathered his pup in his arms and growled soothingly at him;

"Ready to go home now pup?" His answer was a nod; Inuyasha too overwhelmed to speak and sorry for hurting his brother, he licked one of the cuts he'd delivered to Sesshoumaru's face. The growling continued until they were home; when Inuyasha was delivered to Rin and Kagura who just kissed and made a fuss of him, all his hard feelings dissolved in the light of their love and the bitterness receded; for a while at least. Sesshoumaru hoped to make it permanant; Totousai had returned at last and was in the Lord's study awaiting them.

Taking his brother aside from their mates, Sesshoumaru looked him over closely;

"Are you composed enough to meet Totousai, Inuyasha or are you still angry and liable to fight me?"

"Feh Sessh, I was just angry; I'm all right at the moment. I'm sorry about earlier."

"No need to apologise pup. I goaded you into it; you needed to get rid of your anger."

"You mean Kagura wasn't upset; You _lied_?"

"She _was_ upset that she had hurt you of course, but she rarely gets tearful; you know her; she was all set for kicking and demolishing some of my oldest woodlands with her Dance of Blades before I stopped her. She was almost incoherent with _anger _at herself and me. Are you alright now though?"

"I'm O.K."

"Good." He led the way to his study and smirked as the youkai smith flinched from his entrance, although he was not deceived in the ability that Totousai would have in demolishing his Palace in flames should he feel threatened at any time. On the desk were two signet rings made from Sesshoumaru's fang, as was evidenced by the ivory tile set in the golden collet of the ring. Each tile bore a crescent moon shaped gem seemingly of diamond they were so crystal clear, they were plain but not simple and very elegant; fit to grace the finger of a Lord.

"They just require the final touch to make them work, but first you must put them on." Totousai went to the window where his three eyed cow was eating the lawn and trampling down Kagura's favourite flower beds and seemed to be miles away in thought.

"Come on old man, we haven't got all day like you; what do we need to do now?"

"Uncouth brat" The smith muttered before turning his attention to them both. "You need to put a drop of your blood on each other's crescent moon sigil. That's all, I'm off."

"Not so fast Totousai; you need to explain how these work."

"They do exactly what you asked for them to do Sesshoumaru, no more and no less. I'm off." He went out and as far as Sesshoumaru was concerned, he could explain it better anyway. Just as they were about to add the blood, the smith returned to watch. Inuyasha dropped a bead of blood on the crescent of his brother's ring and it turned the moon shape indigo; not surprisingly, Sesshoumaru's blood turned Inuyasha's cobalt. The smith was satisfied with reminding them not to switch rings, it was intentional that the colours seemed to be the wrong way round; then he was gone again and this time the cow was gone too.

Inuyasha was staring at his ring in surprise, he could sense Sesshoumaru's power resonating in the ring and could tell that the rings were made from his brother's fang; but he didn't know why he had one let alone his brother, it seemed most peculiar that the youkai would have a ring made from his _own_ tooth. What astounded him more however, was the strength of Sesshoumaru's power; the small amount he could sense from the ring was still huge.

"You can sense my youki Inuyasha, through your ring. From what the healers have discovered, it might be possible if your own youki were stronger for it to heal the rift in your body; or at least give the strength to your seed for it to reach it's destination. If it _had_ been strong enough it would have already done this, even past the splinter; but you are still young and your youki not at it's full strength yet and so I hoped that if I found a way for you to draw on my own youki energy it might give yours the boost it requires." He had thought deeply on how best to say this to his brother, without Inuyasha feeling second best to himself again.

"The ring channels my youki to yours through your ring; it will have the added benefit of alerting me to you, should you need my help at any time. I will know if you draw on it, away from me."

"Thank you...you are not afraid that my youkai would want more of your power and take it regardless, at your expense?" He watched his brother as Sesshoumaru tried not to smile.

"The power is only energy and is constantly replaced, but should I feel that you were abusing the trust I place in you for this purpose or for any other need you might have; I would merely remove the ring from my finger and come and thrash you. Does that answer your question?" He grinned. "You would not be able to deplete me, if that is your worry."

"I don't know what to say Sessh, is this going to work?"

"I hope so pup, I really do; but if it doesn't, I'll keep searching for a way for you, I promise."

"How does this work."

"Concentrate on the ring and pull on mine using your youki." Sesshoumaru felt a slight tug and released his youki through the ring, staggering his brother with the amount; even that small energy bolt would have been hard for him to best in the days when they fought.

"I never really realised how much power you have Sessh; I would never have been able to beat you would I?"

"No Inuyasha, never; you might have won some fights but you would never have claimed my life. My strength is older than yours and grows all the time as does yours; but I **am** Inuyoukai, from **both** parents. We are what we are little brother, do not let it concern you; there is plenty of my youki to share and as our father's blood runs in our veins, it should be easier for you to use."

Inuyasha tried again to harness his brother's youki through the rings and finally he felt it surge against his own and then join together; he felt so strong, but it was too heady for him and gave him a blinding headache.

"Enough for now Inuyasha; when you need my youki it will be there for you, but I think you will have to release your youkai to use it to it's best advantage. When you next mate with Rin, couple her as a youkai and draw on my strength; this will give you the best advantage. I know you have been youkai with her already, so it shouldn't be a fearful experience for her."

"You will know when we...?"

"Of course, is that a problem? More of your human sensibilities? Really Inuyasha, you should know by now that we have no secrets of that nature in a youkai household; you are a mated couple, therefore you mate. There is nothing simpler and I shall not be dwelling on your actions when I feel your pull of my youki; I will probably be otherwise engaged myself. Now I need to speak with your youkai." Inuyasha was much better at control and changing now and soon the red eyed youkai was staring at his brother.

"You understand don't you, the nature of the youki you can draw on?"

"Alpha lends Youkai Inuyasha, youki strength. Only lend not to make Inuyasha too strong. Use only to mate with Rin to make pups, or if Inuyasha in danger. Inuyasha understands and thanks Alpha Brother."

"You do not fear you might harm Rin or loose control with the extra youki?"

"No, never hurt mate and never challenge Alpha. Youkai Inuyasha not want thrashing."

"I was not serious with that threat Inuyasha."

"If I lost control, threat would happen."

"True, but This Sesshoumaru has every confidence in you Inuyasha; now go and find your mate." He realised his mistake as Youkai Inuyasha immediately went to find Rin, and he followed swiftly; only to find the girl being pulled by her mate towards their suite of rooms, blushing like a beacon. As he caught hold of Kagura to stop her from following Rin, to check that the pair were alright; they suddenly heard a possessive howl from Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru felt the pull on his youki almost immediately. Kagura merely looked at her mate with a questioning gaze and he had to explain again, what he was trying to do for his brother.

Although they did not see either Rin or Inuyasha for the rest of the day, it was obvious to everyone what was going on and where; unlike his hanyou or human counterparts, youkai Inuyasha had no qualms in vocally claiming his mate. It seemed that Inuyasha wasn't going to stop anytime soon either and Kagura was concerned for Rin; so Sesshoumaru took off his ring. Alongside Rin, Inuyasha immediately noticed the difference in his energy levels and the youkai receded; leaving the golden eyed hanyou to come out and face everyone.

Rin was very tired but unharmed and she said she could always have stopped Inuyasha if she'd wanted, when questioned by Kagura. Inuyasha was red in the face and silent, when he saw his brother smirking and even more so at his brother's comment;

"And I thought you were embarrassed that _I_ would know when you and Rin were together Inuyasha, I did not realise you would lose your inhibitions quite so soon. I think the whole of my staff understand what you were doing this afternoon. But seriously, Rin is still human, she does not have the same stamina you do for too long at a time Inuyasha; therefore if you pull on the youki more than a couple of times in an evening, I shall remove my ring. Am I clear?"

"Feh!" He received a head rub by way of amused apology from Sesshoumaru and after the evening meal, they all retired to the family futon. But Inuyasha had a last personal question for his brother and when the rest were asleep he asked;

"Taking your youki...if Rin gets pupped...will the pup be mine ,or yours or both?"

TBC


	68. So the Story Ends

Ch 68 So the Story Ends

Inuyasha really was a child sometimes, Sesshoumaru thought; what a worry to have, obviously he still had so much to learn about his heritage. But from the tension in the pup, he needed a truthful and not a teasing answer.

"Youki is only energy Pup; true it is youkai energy and the power we harness, but it has no personality. Our energies are compatible because of father; but none of my essence will be in your seed to come through to any pup, you and Rin hopefully will have together. Your offsring will not be mine in anyway except by blood relation, as my pups are to you; does this ease your mind Inuyasha?"

"Feh!" Inuyasha understood and pulling his sleeping mate close to his body, he also managed to curl up into his brother's body warmth and welcomed the youkai's arms around them both. He had missed this feeling dreadfully in the days that he'd not been able to relax near them all, when he'd spent his lonely nights in his own futon; now all his animosity seemed to have melted away and he wanted to feel safe and loved again, wrapped in his brother's aura. Sesshoumaru too was pleased to have him back within reach; he had actually felt fear when he thought that once again, Inuyasha despised him and might this time never be able to forgive.

One day Sesshoumaru might learn that Inuyasha had never held a grudge in his life, tending to absorb as his own fault all the crimes that were committed on him; therefore although he had been hurt and angry, he would never have completely blamed his brother. Far from it, he always forgave and loved Sesshoumaru long before the youkai acknowledged their affectionate bond. Inuyasha was amazed and truly grateful for all the help he received now and could hardly believe in the power that Sesshoumaru was lending him.

He would never abuse the trust and felt the love Sesshoumaru had for him in the actual fact of the rings; his brother's power lying dormant for now but Inuyasha could feel it and it was comforting in it's own right, connecting him and the Daiyoukai wherever he was or however far apart. Inuyasha would never cause his brother to regret giving him the ring, it was a most precious gift.

However it still took over a year for Rin to conceive; a heartbreaking year, where all felt the bitter disappointments each month when her bleeding occured. Of course as her scent did not change, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha knew that his seed had not taken root. Until one day when Rin came into dinner, the brothers just stared at each other; Rin was pupped. Inuyasha was ecstatic and grabbed hold of Rin pulling her into his lap; making her look in surprise at her Mama and Papa, their genuine smiles of delight suddenly told her what had happened and she burst into delighted tears which caused her mate to do the same.

Their parents just laughed at the pair, until the sympathetic wails of their smaller pups joined in; they didn't understand that the older two were happy. Of course the children's noise called in the servants, who had rushed to find out what was wrong and soon the good news was spreading like wildfire throughout the Palace. By the time their meal had ended, everyone who saw them offered their congratulations; from the smallest of the mice youkai to Shingi, who looked as pleased as Punch. Kagura was slightly concerned that all this was all still very early and not all human pregnancies resulted in a live birth; but Sesshoumaru said that the important thing at the moment was the fact that Rin had conceived.

Then for her whole pregnancy, which everyone in the Palace followed every step of the way with eager anticipation; Inuyasha drove her out of her mind by not letting her do anything. He carried her everywhere, made sure she was surrounded by cushions, food and drink and that the pups did not overly tax her. Every chance he got, Inuyasha sniffed at her; especially around her neck and her stomach, absolutely overjoyed when he could finally isolate his pup's scent from that of it's mother. In the end Kagura and Sesshoumaru took pity on the girl by getting the hanyou to go on some patrols with his brother, which he would only do if Kagura promised to guard Rin.

At least sometimes then Rin could feel freedom and not be suffocated, but she unlike Kagome who would have 'sat' Inuyasha for his soft imprisonment; recognised and sympathetically understood his worry, after all she too wanted this pup born safe and well. Soon the scent proclaimed that the pup was a little girl, which was fine as Kagura and Rin could now start thinking of clothes and decorations befitting a small Princess. The news however shocked Inuyasha, it was as if he finally realised the pup was a reality and not just a happy thought.

He was going to be a Papa to a little girl hanyou, who had the potential to be stronger than her Sire; Sesshoumaru told him that because of the strength of the youki being used at the conception of the pup, it would be full hanyou and very strong. Inuyasha was strong in his own right with the amount of youki he'd inherited from his father and when added to that of Sesshoumaru's...there was no way the pup would not be worthy of it's grandfather's lineage. This was a comforting thought for the suddenly nervous Inuyasha; who amidst his daydreams of all his little girl could be and achieve, had the disturbing image of his little bitch pup being tossed out into the wild to fend for herself as he had been.

The picture was so frightening that he didn't hear Sesshoumaru come after him or realise that he was radiating his fear all around. Inuyasha was close to hyperventilating when his brother pulled him close, in order to calm him down;

"Be easy pup, there is nothing to fear."

"Sessh...Sesshoumaru?"

"Of course it is I, now what is the matter? You are afraid."

"No. it was just a bad idea running away with me that's all. Didn't you have any such fears when you were going to be a Papa?"

"None out of the norm Inuyasha, all parents share certain concerns about becoming responsible for the new life."

"I s'pose."

"Tell me your fear pup, it can't be nothing; considering the amount it disturbed you."

"It was nothing Sessh, just stupid memories that's all." He turned his head away and Sesshoumaru understood; Inuyasha had seen his little pup in the same situation he had been in himself.

"Inuyasha?"

"Keh!"

"This Sesshoumaru promises that your fears will never come about. Any pup you have will be safe and well loved by all this family, no harm will come to them; I pledge my life, as you have done for my pups. Which means Inuyasha, that we stand together to protect all of our own; does it not?" Sesshoumaru stared into his brother's eyes intently; letting the hanyou read the sincerity in his own and leaving them unguarded. Inuyasha hugged Sesshoumaru; leaning against him and hearing the steady beating thrum of his brother's heart and remembering when it had soothed him at various times during the years, he let it do so now and knew that his pup would be safe.

Ataeka (not one hundred percent sure, but I mean it to be 'Beautiful Godsend'.) made her appearance one late autumn morning, after waking her Papa up in the early hours; by deciding to break her Mama's waters all over the futon and soaking him in the process. Rin did not have a particularly bad time giving birth, but it was not a short labour and the new mother was very tired with all the hard work; besides having to reassure Inuyasha that she was doing fine. His ears drooped until they were plastered to his head at every sound of discomfort or pain his mate made and he kept popping in to see how things were going, to the despair of Kaede and the midwives because he kept getting in the way.

Eventually he was told to sit down in no uncertain terms by Sesshoumaru, who stood beside him almost daring him to move on pain of being tethered. The hours had dragged for them all, until finally the shout of Rin was accompanied by the wail of a newborn infant. A few minutes later Kagura came out and beckoned Inuyasha in, her eyes shining; then she and one of the midwives left the new little family alone.

Inuyasha looked with awe on the tiny pup in his hands; she looked exactly like he did, except she had two jagged indigo stripes to her little cheeks and over her eyes and around her body. Her small puppy ears were just flaps, lying in the silver hair that had the same bounce and curl as her mother's and her huge golden eyes were alight with life; she was thoroughly, beautiful. Inuyasha kissed his shattered and sleepy mate as the midwife answered the knock on the door to let Sesshoumaru and Kagura back in.

They first went to Rin to make sure that she had come safely through the birth and leaving her to sleep, then Sesshoumaru went to Inuyasha who turned to his brother and held out his pup to him. Sesshoumaru choked at this display of trust from his brother, noting the happy tear trails from the wide amber eyes that were full of love for him and remembering when Inuyasha had held out his toys in much the same way when he was small. He put his arms round Inuyasha and the pup holding them tight and kissing his brother's forehead; fervently promising, that she would never know any of the suffering that her father had seen.

Then he wiped his own eyes and took the little Ataeka from Inuyasha to inspect her. She was smaller than a full youkai pup, but normal for a human baby and very alert; she smiled at her uncle already, captivated by the stripes and moon as she lifted her diminutive claws to try and reach his face.

"Her markings are like your youkai and those of our father Inuyasha; they show she will be strong, hanyou do not normally show their markings unless transforming."

"Really?" Was the wry rejoinder to that statement; if anyone knew _that_ it was Inuyasha, but he grinned at his brother's almost sheepish grin back.

"She really is the most beautiful pup, Little Brother and we must plan her Naming Day; Ataeka, firstborn of the Indigo Crescent." Then Sesshoumaru placed the pup into the crib that Inuyasha had made not so long ago for his pups and left with Kagura to go and tell his own boisterous offspring that they had a little cousin and that they could visit in the morning. They were not going to be the only visitors that next day, Grandmother had come to see them all and was welcomed in by Inuyasha.

"Izayoi would have been delighted over this little lady, Inuyasha and dare I say it, but you would probably have to steal her back from your father. He loved pups and he would have been most impressed with all of his grandchildren." Grandmother remained for the Naming Day, when everyone who attended was very pleased for the new parents; the difficulties they had had in begetting a child was well known, as these things are never able to be hidden very well. Ataeka was held aloft by her very proud uncle and named before all the guests; friends and dignitaries alike. She behaved impeccably for once and all breathed a sigh of relief; for in the month after her birth, she proved to have inherited her father's temper.

When they all retired that night to the crowded family futon; Sesshoumaru pondered over his father's words about having something to protect. He now understood totally his father's wisdom and looking over the family that the Inu no Taisho indirectly left him to inherit; he was saddened that his father had not lived to see, what he could now appreciate. Yet perhaps his father had had some foresight granted him; Sesshoumaru could only hope and believe, that this was always how his father would have wanted his sons and their families to be.

He looked down fondly as Inuyasha sheltered Rin while she fed Ataeka; one day all the pups would grow and leave the family futon, to only sometimes return, but Inuyasha and Rin would be a constant and that thought gladdened his heart. The Western Lands were set for a good future.

EPILOGUE

Many years later a family were taking the tour of the Higurashi Shrine. To the uninitiated, they might have been college students; although dressed more formally as a visit to a sacred place required. The elderly shrine keeper was regaling them with some of the legends and stories of the old days past and they politely listened, they were all tall and very lovely to look at and Grandfather thought they might have had a family resemblance; but dismissed it as unlikely as there were so many, all about the same age. But they were polite for youngsters today seeming to defer to two of their number, who were almost certainly brothers; if one went by look and the identical signet rings they wore, even although one was the shorter of all the others.

Now they were just sightseeing and the elderly priest bowed and begged them to excuse him for a moment; his granddaughter was fifteen that day and she had been at school. He just wanted to greet her before her friends came to take her out for the evening. So leaving them in the able care of one of the shrine attendents who was also a friend of the family, the old man left. The attendent came over ostensibly to answer any questions of the guests, but really to report that there had been no abnormalities that day so far with the well. It was Shippou who along with his mate and kits had been guarding the Shrine area since Kagome left and there was only the well.

Soon Kagome herself was running up the shrine steps and hugging her grandfather, telling him that she had done well at school and passed her tests. She bowed to the large group of people and ran inside the house to get changed, before her boyfriend Hojo came to pick her up. But she showed no sign of recognition for any of them; even though under the influence of the illusion charm both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru looked like the hanyou did as a human once a month. Rin was still recognisable too, if any knew her which at one time Kagome did; but it seemed that Midoriko was correct, the time had indeed changed.

The 'student' group started to gradually disperse, until only three of the boys and three of the girls were left. They watched as the shorter boy walked to the well house, which was dark and damp with no sign of any magical properties; besides it being padlocked shut. He then went over to the Goshinboku and ran his hand over the scar on the trunk marking where he had spent fifty years and from where in his time line, he was freed that very day. Kouga and Sesshoumaru decided to take their mates and Rin back to where their cars were waiting to go to dinner, but Inuyasha said he wished to stay; to make sure that nothing untoward happened for the rest of the day.

Rin looked at him carefully and smiled nodding; she understood as she always did and went to join all of their pups and cubs, as they split up to go to their hotel for the family meal. Kouga too looked over the shrine, remembering Kagome; seeing her had done nothing for him now, except for him to be able to say with mild horror that she was so young. For Inuyasha however, the experience was far more profound; as he remembered that had it not been for her, his whole life would have ended sealed on a tree, never to have known his family or love.

But Kouga was right, she was so incredibly young; but then so had he been then, it was only five hundred years ago and his brother not only still called him his pup, but even treated him as such. Heck even his own pups acted older than their beloved Papa; especially if he threw a temper tantrum when they beat him in the dojo, which was usual as even his girls could upend him onto the mats, causing Sesshoumaru to laugh. He would even make a detour from wherever he was, when Inuyasha was in training with his pups; it made for excellent entertainment, but Inuyasha was inordinately proud of his strong offspring and they in turn adored him.

What surprised Inuyasha most of all was, that it was not the sight of Kagome that pulled on his heartstrings. While he got a slight nostalgic sadness seeing her again, especially as she had no idea who he was; he mainly felt a brotherly swell of love towards her as a friend, she was so young and he had long since found his soul mate in Rin. No, it was Mrs Higurashi who unexpectedly caused his eyes to water; she had seen him standing by the Goshinboku and felt compelled to offer him a drink, touching him on the arm and smiling at him as he turned to face her.

"I thought you might like some refreshment; you looked a bit sad as you stood by the tree. Memories perhaps?" Her smile was kind and gentle, just as he remembered and he smiled back at her blinking the water away. But she had noticed. "Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger." She said, as she sat down next to him on the seat. He sat as well, taking in her calming and familiar scent; marvelling at this woman who had allowed him to take her daughter into danger. Yet she had always welcomed him back into her home; Inuyasha smiled at her, his eyes still damp and bright.

"Once you were very kind to a lonely orphaned boy, who had been overcome at seeing your happy family. You took him into your arms and told him that you would be proud to call him son and you held him like his mother would have done, when he still had her. You did not mock his tears and you never told anyone else about them so he could keep his pride. You will not remember."

But she looked askance at him;

"How strange, you have broken one of my dreams; only he was a boy with silver hair, red clothes and puppy ears. The things the mind does, I'm sorry; you will think me a fool."

"No, never; thank you and thank you for your kindness." He stood and bowed then walked quickly away and out of her sight.

"You're welcome Inuyasha dear, always." Where that name came from she didn't know, but she seemed to be able to see silver hair and puppy ears through a shimmer around the boy. Sometimes she even believed in her Miko powers too; then it was time to lie down if she didn't want a headache.

"I am glad she was kind to you Pup when you used to visit, she has my gratitude." Sesshoumaru had stayed too and now sat with his brother high in the boughs of Goshinboku, waiting for Kagome's birthday to finish uneventfully. Then after taking a last look around at this place, that held so many memories and emotions for him; Inuyasha said farewell to the Higurashi Shrine and it's occupants, to leave for home with his brother. He was looking forward to something to eat and to be surrounded with his family.

THE END


End file.
